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What OB-GYNs want women to know about endometriosis

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​Endometriosis occurs when tissue lining the uterus (endometrial tissue) grows outside the uterus, in areas such as the ovaries, fallopian tubes, bladder, or intestines, according to Isabelle Ryan MD, with Pacific Fertility Center in San Francisco.

More: Everything you want to know about menstrual cups

"Although its cause isn’t clear, some researchers think endometriosis happens after endometrial tissue from menstrual flow travels backwards through the fallopian tubes and out into the pelvic cavity and becomes fixed to the area," Dr. Ryan tells SheKnows. "This eventually causes inflammation, pain and scarring of the fallopian tubes, ovaries and surrounding reproductive anatomy."

It's often misunderstood, especially when it comes to diagnosis and treatment, according to Dr. Ryan. Here's what you need to understand about the disease if you think you might have it.

Symptoms can be a number of things

The symptoms of endometriosis can range from mild to severe, but can include period pain, pain during sex, fatigue, urination and bowel pain, diarrhea, constipation and nausea.

Fertility can also be affected with endometriosis. "A diagnosis of even minimal to mild endometriosis (stage I and II) can have significant consequences on fertility success rates," says Dr. Ryan.

More: 'My doctor didn't listen': 8 Women tell their scary stories

True diagnosis comes from surgery

Your doctor can make an initial diagnosis by understanding the frequency and severity of your symptoms, but confirmation comes from a surgical procedure called a laparoscopy, which uses a thin, lighted tube (laparoscope) placed through a small incision in the belly button to examine the pelvic area.

"At this time, a sample of tissue is removed and examined under a microscope," says Dr. Ryan.

It's treated a variety of ways... or not at all

Treatment doesn't cure the condition, but it may help relieve symptoms and improve pregnancy outcomes. If symptoms aren't a problem, you may not need treatment at all, according to Dr. Ryan. Pain relievers like ibuprofen (Advil, Motrin IB, others) or naproxen (Aleve) or anti-inflammatory drugs (NSAIDs) can be taken to manage pain, but if it's severe, surgery might be the best option.

"The surgeon may surgically treat the condition by removing as much visible growing tissue as possible," adds Dr. Ryan.

More: Woman shares picture of her cervix to raise awareness of cervical cancer

It can affect fertility

Endometriosis can be less thick (superficial) or deeply invasive and may impair fertility in one or more ways.

For getting pregnant, in most cases of more severe and extensive endometriosis, many doctors will advocate for in vitro fertilization to help get the eggs, sperm and embryos out of the pelvic environment, which has been shown to be toxic to these cells.

"Your chances of getting pregnant depend mainly upon the severity of the disease — its amount, location, and depth — ranked from mild (Stage 1), which has a better chance of success, to severe (Stage 4), which has a low chance of success," says Dr. Ryan.


Vampire Diaries theories about that new crazy vampire hunter

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Namely, what does she want, exactly? We know she's got this whole vengeance kick. And even the heretics are scared of her, which means the girl is business.

More: The Originals' boss reveals Elijah & Hayley's fate after [SPOILER]'s death

But why, three years down the line, is she so bent on killing Stefan (Paul Wesley) and the rest of the gang? And why does Matt decide to help her in the future? And why is Enzo currently helping her?

Before we even get into that, I feel the need to pause for a good solid paragraph or two to discuss how much this chick looks like Elena (Nina Dobrev). Really, it's not a big deal other than the big, red Damon (Ian Somerhalder) sign flashing in my mind. If he hooks up with her I swear... And I'm definitely not the only one thinking it.

Vampire Diaries hunter reaction 1

Vampire Diaries hunter reaction 1

Vampire Diaries hunter reaction 2

Vampire Diaries hunter reaction 2

Of course, I wouldn't put it past him since he's all wrapped up in have-sex-and-kill mode right now. But, like I said last week, there is no way, absolutely no way, Elena's body is gone for good. A commenter reminded me last week too that in one of the first flash-forwards this season, Damon wakes up next to Elena's body and gets mad at Stefan for waking him before Elena was up. We can all rejoice, because her body must come back somehow, at some point.

More: The Vampire Diaries' Kat Graham spills on Bamon's future in Season 7

So could Rayna's attempted vampire murder spree have something to do with the lengths Damon goes to to get Elena's body back?

Of course, her story could be all about the heretics too. She seems to really want them dead. Perhaps our gang of heroes hides the heretics from Rayna's wrath and that causes her to focus her vengeance on them.

Or maybe a vampire killed her loved one and now she just wants to see all vampires dead because, hey, if you've got a few hundred years to spare and hate vampires, why not?

Yeah, yeah, I'm hoping it's deeper than that too.

More: The Vampire Diaries boss stuns fans with unexpected Klaroline remark

Also, I'm really hoping Rayna's hunter storyline is somehow connected to the previous hunters we learned of in past seasons. Namely, the hunter group Jeremy is a part of. Because if Rayna is connected to Jeremy, then maybe Jeremy will be making a guest return to the show. Now that would be fun!

What do you think Rayna's true purpose could be? Are you as weirded out as I am that she looks like Elena?

Shark Tank has parents up in arms with product dubbed dangerous

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Nearly every week, there is at least one completely ridiculous product or service featured on Shark Tank. This time, the silly idea was Float Baby, which basically is a glorified bathtub in which babies sit in inflatable tubes. These tubes are actually placed around their necks; the goal of this is to give babies greater range of motion. Entrepreneur Kristi Ison believes that, just as adults are able to ease their stress when hanging out at the spa, the tiny visitors at Float Baby can also relax and enjoy all kinds of physical and mental benefits.

Float Baby
Image: ABC

More: Shark Tank gets morbid with inappropriate comments about cancer

As expected, the Sharks were doubtful about the idea of a spa designed for babies. They didn't think its potential for profitability was very good, especially as it costs parents well over $50 to hang out at the spa with their babies. The Sharks also worried about Ison's alleged lack of hustle.

More: 5 Most memorable quotes from Shark Tank guest Chris Sacca

The Sharks were not alone in their fears; viewers also expressed quite a bit of negativity upon learning of Ison's spa. Many were less concerned about the poor profit margin and more fearful of the potential dangers associated with Float Baby. Several viewers took to Twitter to voice their concerns; these fears included everything from neglect to strangulation. A few of the most negative tweets of the evening are highlighted below:

Float Baby collar

Float Baby collar

Float Baby

Float Baby

More: Shark Tank fans go wild for Robert Herjavec's dance moves

Float Baby may not be very practical, but it's also likely not as dangerous as viewers think. Yes, the image of babies with rings around their neck is concerning, but some of the fears viewers have expressed are unfounded. A pediatrician told Today that a baby spa involving inflatable rings can actually be quite safe, as long as babies wear swim diapers. However, this pediatrician also feels that parents and their babies can enjoy many of the benefits associated with Float Baby for free each evening during bathtime. For the average family, Float Baby just isn't necessary.

Kevin O'Leary
Image: ABC

Those who remain convinced of Float Baby's dangerous nature will be relieved to learn that the Sharks decided not to back the business. Kristi Ison is not likely to be deterred however; just as other rejected entrepreneurs have muddled on without the Sharks' help, Ison will surely continue on in her quest to rid the world's babies of all stress.

Do you think Krisi Ison's baby spa is dangerous? Or is it simply a ridiculous, but otherwise harmless concept? Comment and share your opinion below.

Marriage Boot Camp reveals the truth about Mama June's rumored boyfriend

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More: 12 celebrity marriages allegedly ruined by nanny affairs

WE TV
Image: WE TV

Every fan of Marriage Boot Camp has a favorite counseling exercise. For some, it's the sex puppets, for others, it's the maudlin "So your loved one is dead and it's too late to tell them you don't hate them" open casket and/or hospital bed scenario. For me, it's the Lie Detector exercise, during which the delicately constructed mountain of lies the couples have been telling their partners for the whole season, and probably their whole relationship, is destroyed by a guy with a fancy machine.

On the latest episode of Marriage Boot Camp, the time for lie detector tests finally arrived, although it was narrowly upstaged by this enormous bottle of ranch dressing that was on the table during lunch, when Sean pretended that he wouldn't sleep with someone other than his wife for 10 million dollars. Perhaps the couple we've most anticipated in this exercise are Mama June and Sugar Bear (the issue of whether or not Sundy and Benzino actually had sex is also very compelling.) 

During the test, Mama June was asked if she'd ever cheated on Sugar Bear, and when the results came it, it turned out that she's been telling the truth. When it was confirmed, the other couples cheered, because everyone loves her, and Mama June repeated, "Stop believing the media!" She later interviewed that she wasn't worried about the test because she knew she'd been telling the truth the whole time.

More: Hardest thing about marriage

Sugar Bear, on the other hand, did not get applause from the others when he answered "yes" to Mama June's question of whether or not there he'd cheated on her with more people than she already knew about. He was telling the truth. Sean pointed out that last week, when in chambers with Judge Toler, Sugar Bear claimed he was laying it all out, and there were no more secrets. Whoops. The stink eye given to him by Mama June was so epic, I could not possibly do it justice by attempting to describe it. Judge Toler gave Sugar Bear another chance to tell Mama June the truth, and he responded by very maturely throwing his hat on the floor and stomping out of the room.

I have no idea what it would be like to have your significant other cheat on you and lie to you about it on television multiple times, other than to assume that it probably sucks. Mama June has gone through so much humiliation on this show, and after tonight, we know she's been nothing but truthful the entire time. It's a good thing she and Sugar Bear (spoiler) aren't together anymore in real life, because seriously, enough is enough.

More: Catherine Lowe gets into a heated fight with Sean Lowe on Marriage Boot Camp

Were you surprised to learn that Sugar Bear lied again? Were you surprised that Mama June has been truthful all along? What are you looking forward to in next week's season finale?

Before you go, check out our slideshow below!

honey boo boo slideshow
Image: Paul Redmond FilmMagic

5 Inspirational black female entrepreneurs who have made a big impact

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More: 12 Powerful quotes from influential African Americans

I want to share with you a list of five remarkable black women who carved out their own lanes and became successful entrepreneurs. They have constantly pushed the standards of their fields to leave the world a better place and made an impression on my life with their entrepreneurial spirits.

Cathy Hughes (Radio One/TV One)

Image: LinkedIn

Hughes is an African-American radio and television personality and business executive. Hughes founded the media company Radio One and later expanded into TV One. Her company went public in 1998, making Hughes the first and only African-American woman to head a publicly traded corporation at the time. In the 1970s, Hughes created the urban radio format called the Quiet Storm on Howard University's radio station, WHUR, even choosing its very first disc jockey, the late Melvin Lindsay (a Howard student at the time).

According to Hughes, "It’s interesting how God arranges your schedule. When you’re helping someone else, you never run out of time. When you’re just interested in helping yourself, time is real short."

Melinda Emerson (SmallBizLady on Twitter)

Image: Twitter

Emerson, known as the SmallBizLady, is America’s number one small-business expert. She has been a thriving entrepreneur for nearly 15 years and is internationally known as a keynote speaker. Her advice on small business is widely read, reaching more than 3 million entrepreneurs each week on the Internet. A pioneer in social media marketing, she is the creator and host of #Smallbizchat, the longest-running live chat on Twitter for small-business owners.

Emerson says: "You never lose in business — either you win or you learn."

More: Black History Month is a way for us to celebrate our culture

Zandra Cunningham (Zandra Beauty)

Image: Zandra Beauty

Cunningham started her own health and beauty line at the age of 10, after her dad refused to give her money for makeup. This enterprising young woman turned her father’s no and her favorite hobby into a successful business venture. She would often hear about her age from customers, but she never minded. The CEO knows she’s an experienced businesswoman. Today, Zandra continues to sell health and beauty products and speaks to other young women about confidence, success and running one’s own business.

According to Duchess International Magazine, Zandra says it's important to, "Have a plan. Be around like-minded people who support you in what you do and want to make you better, be prepared, because it takes a lot of hard work and determination to achieve success."

Janice Bryant Howroyd (Founder /Chief Executive Officer of ACT-1 Group)

Image: Black Enterprise
Janice Bryant Howroyd is an African American entrepreneur. She is founder and chief executive officer of ACT-1 Group, the largest minority woman-owned employment agency in the United States.

In 2003, Janice’s company placed third on the Black Enterprise magazine list of Top Black-Owned Industrial/Service Companies in America. In 2005, she received the Spirit of American Enterprise Presidential Award. Three years later, she was named Entrepreneur of the Year by the BET cable television network. In 2013, the Foundation for Ethnic Understanding honored her with the Joseph Papp Racial Harmony Award for her commitment to improving race relations.

Howroyd believes, "Discipline is not a dirty word. There is far more freedom and opportunity for creativity and success in enjoying discipline. Years ago someone I very much respect told me the reason they were successful is that they embraced doing what other people resent or are reluctant to do."

Tina Wells (CEO/Founder of Buzz Marketing Group)

Tina Wells is the CEO and founder of Buzz Marketing Group, which creates marketing strategies for clients within the beauty, entertainment, fashion, financial and lifestyle sectors. She has authored the youth marketing handbook Chasing Youth Culture And Getting It Right and the tween series Mackenzie Blue. In addition to serving on the Young Entrepreneur Council, the United Nation’s Global Entrepreneurship Council and The Franklin Institute's board of directors, Tina is also the current Academic Director of Wharton's Leadership in the Business World program.

One of Wells' favorite quotes is, "If you fail to plan, you plan to fail.”

This quote was originally said by Ben Franklin. Tina truly believes that it is up to each person to sit down and make a plan, whether it’s for career, education, business or even personal life. As per Tina, planning helps us to examine and analyze our strategy and our overall goals, which are both incredibly important in whatever we want to accomplish.

More: 4 Reasons why it's critical to teach black history

15 love stories told through Humans of New York photos

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1. Perseverance will get you places

Humans of NY 1

Humans of NY 1

Remember to speak up when it comes to love. It can be difficult to tell someone how you feel about them, but if you wait too long, you may end up losing them. Luckily this persistent man didn't lose his lady.

2. Not everyone's perfect

Humans of NY 2

Humans of NY 2

Some people buy houses that are "fixer-uppers," other times you're drawn to someone you'd like to "fix" or help become their best self.

3. Sometimes love hurts

Humans of NY 3

Humans of NY 3

When you're in the heat of a moment, you act without thinking of how others might react. This man may have lost the people closest to him, but he still loves them.

4. Love is company

Humans of NY 4

Humans of NY 4

It would be nice to have a partner to help you raise a child, but sometimes you just have to make plans on your own. This single mother is rockin' it.

5. Sometimes love is silent

Humans of NY 5

Humans of NY 5

How do you tell a loved one what you want when they're so against it?

6. "...until death do us part"

Humans of NY 6

Humans of NY 6

This man loved his wife until the very end. It's never too late to say "I love you."

7. A mistake could end up being the best mistake you've ever made

Humans of NY 7

Humans of NY 7

Have you ever fallen in love with the sound of a voice? It's not always about "love at first sight."

8. You can feel so much love through one embrace

Humans of NY 8

Humans of NY 8


The best hugs are the ones where you run into each other's arms and just hold on tight. You know it's true love when you never want to let go.

9. Love is a promise

Humans of NY 9

Humans of NY 9

Promises are important because they should never be broken. These young lovers have promised to stay together forever.

10. Love is happiness at the end of a long week

Humans of NY 10

Humans of NY 10

It's easy to get stressed about life, but spending time with the one you love can easily lift your mood.

11. Love has its ups and downs

Humans of NY 11

Humans of NY 11

One decision can mean so much to the people involved. It can make your life better, worse, or you can just be stuck in the middle.

12. Love isn't just about humans

Humans of NY 12

Humans of NY 12

Humans and pets love each other, but sometimes pets need some lovin' too.

13. A mother shows her love in many ways

Humans of NY 13

Humans of NY 13

Showing someone you love them isn't just by saying "I love you."

14. The steps of falling in love aren't in a textbook

Humans of NY 14

Humans of NY 14

You don't choose how you fall in love. Most of the time, love happens in the most unexpected ways.

15. Love knows no age

Humans of NY 15

Humans of NY 15

There's something about love that makes us think about it, talk about it and write about it. It's always a constant in our loves, no matter how young or old we are.

Make sure you show and tell those closest to your heart how you really feel. Don't let people know you care just on Valentine's Day — keep reminding them all year round. Love never dies, even though it may need a little push to spark a fire or rekindle a romance. Never lose hope, because love is out there. Love is everywhere.

Bacon-wrapped meatloaf 'muffins' make an old standby more fun

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Lean ground turkey is combined with breadcrumbs and seasonings, wrapped in slices of applewood-smoked bacon and baked in muffin tins for perfectly poppable bites. Give these individually portioned meatloaves a hint of sweetness by glazing them with pure maple syrup before baking.

My family likes these meatloaves served with cheesy mashed potatoes or a side salad, but any side dish will work. You can even prep the turkey mixture the day before so it’s ready to bake after work.

maple bacon meatloaf cups
Image: Brandi Bidot/Sheknows

Mini maple bacon-wrapped turkey meatloaves recipe

Yields 8

Prep time: 15 minutes | Cook time: 25 minutes | Total time: 40 minutes

Ingredients:

  • 8 slices uncooked applewood-smoked bacon
  • 1 pound lean ground turkey
  • 1/4 cup minced sweet onions
  • 1 tablespoon olive oil
  • 2 eggs, beaten
  • 1/2 cup Italian-style breadcrumbs
  • 1 teaspoon garlic powder
  • Salt and pepper, to taste
  • 2 tablespoons pure maple syrup

Directions:

  1. Heat the oven to 375 degrees F, and spray a muffin pan with nonstick cooking spray.
  2. Line the inside of each muffin cup with 1 strip of bacon in a circular motion.
  3. In a bowl, combine all the remaining ingredients except for the maple syrup, and mix well.
  4. Divide the meatloaf mixture among the muffin cups.
  5. Using a small pastry brush, lightly glaze the top of each meatloaf cup with maple syrup.
  6. Bake uncovered for 23 – 25 minutes or until the turkey and bacon are completely cooked.
  7. Serve the meatloaves warm with your favorite side dishes, such as mashed potatoes, a salad or a green vegetable.

More muffin pan recipe ideas

Bacon, egg and cheese hash brown muffins
Muffin-style mac and cheese cups
Cheesy ham quiche muffins

How to buy furniture: 11 savvy secrets from decorators

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We got some advice from Sean Juneja, co-founder of interior design startup Décor Aid, and NAPO-certified personal organizer Darla DeMorrow of HeartWork Organizing on how to shop for furniture and get the best value for your budget, no matter what it is. Here's your shopping strategy.

More: 5 things to look for when buying vintage furniture

1. Examine the piece from top to bottom, front to back

For example, DeMorrow says you'll want to see how the back of a chest of drawers is constructed. "If it's put in with staples, walk the other way" if it's on what's supposed to be a high-end piece. She says she's seen staples on $800 dressers in big-box stores, so don't assume price equals quality.

"Check the joinery, and make sure it's strong," says Juneja. If you pull open a drawer and see dovetail construction (interlocking pieces of wood holding two parts together), that's sign of high quality, says DeMorrow. "That is awesome."

For upholstered furniture, Juneja says, "The seams should be straight, not crooked."

2. Avoid cheap veneers

Juneja explains how can you tell a cheap veneer from a quality one. Look closely at the edges where two surfaces meet. "You can see the thickness, and the thicker, the better. Also check the corner flaps. Make sure they meet neatly and cleanly and there is no peeling or curling. Tap it; it should not feel flimsy or hollow."

3. Notice how the upholstery textiles look and feel

Natural fibers and fabrics are preferable, but even high-end pieces have synthetics woven in for durability. Juneja likes a fabric composed of half or less synthetic. "A nice texture looks richer." He adds, "It should feel sturdier, which usually means it is thicker and will hold up. It should feel soft to the touch and good against the skin." He says velvet and tweedy-looking fabrics wear well and look newer for longer.

If you go for synthetic, look for ultra or microsuede. "It doesn’t shed, has a very thin pile and is very soft. The thin pile doesn’t collect dust like thicker weaves, and they are durable and versatile and available in any color imaginable," Juneja says. He adds that if you have pets or kids, many of the new outdoor fabrics are both durable and look just as good as indoor fabric.

4. Look for upholstered furniture that's easy to clean

"Easy to clean" doesn't have to be synthetic microfiber. DeMorrow says that what's most helpful is removable upholstery. "Look for cushions that come off the couch and have zippers." You'll be able to clean those covers on a gentle cycle in the washing machine or at the dry cleaner rather than hiring someone to come in and professionally clean your furniture.

5. Even better, consider slipcovers

They've come a long way from those loose, sheet-like things people used to tie over their sofas. "It's amazing what you can do with custom slipcovers," DeMorrow says. Quality slipcovers can look just like regular upholstery, but they're removable for easier cleaning.

6. Discount stores are a good option... if you manage your expectations

Juneja says consumers can find replicas of designer pieces at discount stores like Wayfair. "It's a great way to get a high-end-looking piece without a major investment." These pieces should last five to 10 years, depending on your care. And that may be all right. "They are a good resource for people who want to update their space and make it look stylish without spending a lot of money." DeMorrow's daughter had an Ikea dresser that lasted nine years, and for the price, she considers that pretty darn good.

More: 7 Incredible furniture makeovers that will blow your mind

7. Look closely at the floor samples of pieces you're interested in buying

Make sure it's not banged up, scratched, broken or wobbly. "If it's coming apart in the store, why would you expect it to last in your home?" DeMorrow cautions.

8. Consider buying floor samples

About those floor samples — you can sometimes buy them. If a sample is in great shape and for sale, go for it, advises Juneja. "You can save a lot of money by buying at the end of the season, when stores are changing over their merchandise to new designs." Ask about any floor samples the store may have in the back as well.

Do examine those floor samples thoroughly, test them, ask how long they were on the floor, and find out if it was ever returned. Make sure there's minimal or no damage and that there aren't any screws or pieces missing. Verify that the price is below the retail price.

9. Don't dismiss RTA furniture as "low quality"

Not all RTA — ready to assemble — furniture is low quality. DeMorrow says it's a great way to save money on quality pieces, especially for tables. You can buy a table with a sturdy, beautiful top with legs you screw in yourself, and all that means is you haven't paid for the furniture company to ship the air around a fully constructed table.

10. Consider what the next few years in your life look like

If you're young and think you may be moving around a bit, this may not be the time to look for heavy, quality, heirloom furniture. It's fine to buy cheaper, lighter pieces.

11. Buy your furniture, and then paint your walls, not the reverse

DeMorrow says this is a common mistake. "Paint comes in an infinite number of colors, but the sofa you like is only going to come in two or three colors, unless it's custom," she says. You could fall in love with a sofa or accent pieces that don't work with your wall paint. So give yourself more flexibility. "Have a color direction, go shopping, and make your choices, and then you can adjust your wall colors if necessary."

When it comes to furniture, the better armed you are with a decorator's intel, the better deal you'll get for your money. Now you know what to look for, what questions to ask and what secrets to exploit to nab furniture you'll love.


4 Delicious Grammys-inspired recipes to make for an awards party

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We decided to go with a simple theme of black, white and gold colors. This is always a great choice because you have nice, clean classic colors to work with. We also decided to come up with snazzy names for our appetizers to make it more fun.

Image: Hannah Adkins/SheKnows

Swift's spinach dip recipe

Our first appetizer is Swift's spinach dip, named after — of course — superstar Taylor Swift. Spinach dip is a pretty classic party dish. It's tasty, easy to make and a lot of people love it. This is also a great thing to make ahead of time, as you can serve it hot or cold. We served ours hot.

More: How to throw an awesome awards-show viewing party

Ingredients:

  • 1/2 cup mozzarella, plus additional for topping
  • 1/4 cup Parmesan cheese
  • 1 bag frozen chopped spinach, cooked and drained
  • 1 (16-ounce) container sour cream
  • 1 cup mayonnaise
  • 1 package Knorr vegetable mix

Directions:

  1. Combine all the ingredients in a bowl.
  2. Let the dip chill or microwave until it's hot.
  3. Add mozzarella cheese on top!

Image: Hannah Adkins/SheKnows

Musical meatball bites recipe

Musical meatball bites were our next party dish. These little bites of "yumminess" are not only super delicious, they're also really cute and easy to make. These are basically just meatballs wrapped in bread dough and baked to perfection. You can vary your dips to accompany them. We did marinara, but you could also try a garlic sauce.

Ingredients:

  • 1 roll frozen bread dough
  • 21 frozen meatballs
  • 1/2 cup mozzarella cheese
  • 1/4 cup Parmesan cheese

Directions:

  1. Set out your bread dough until it is thawed.
  2. Pinch off small pieces of the dough and wrap each one around a meatball. Repeat the process for all of the meatballs, making sure to pinch them together well.
  3. Sprinkle cheese on top of each covered meatball.
  4. Place them on a greased baking sheet and bake in the oven at 350 degrees F for 12 – 15 minutes or until golden brown.
Image: Hannah Adkins/SheKnows

Funky fruit bars recipe

For all of you sweets lovers out there, we also made some of our funky fruit bars. These fruit bars are a more unique dessert to add to your party, as they combine fresh fruit with the sweetness of a sugar cookie. We also made our own cream cheese icing to go on top.

Ingredients:

  • 1 bag sugar cookie mix
  • 1 container cream cheese icing
  • 2-3 kiwi fruits
  • 1 pint blackberries
  • 1 pint raspberries

Directions: 

  1. Prepare the sugar cookie mix according to its package instructions, spreading the mix into a small 8-by-8-inch pan.
  2. Bake as instructed on the package.
  3. Let the cookie layer cool.
  4. Peel and slice the kiwi fruit.
  5. Frost the cooled bars: You can use any icing that you choose, but we used a cream cheese icing.
  6. Slice the bars, top them with berries and serve.

More: Caramelized peaches with lemon shortbread make a delicious sweet treat

Image: Hannah Adkins/SheKnows

"Bad Blood" berry tea recipe

No party is complete without the drinks! We made this fresh "Bad Blood" berry tea to go with our Grammys party spread. This berry-infused tea has an amazing flavor. You can make individual drinks like we did or you can make a whole punch bowl. Top with fresh berries for extra flavor.

Ingredients:

  • 3 cups water
  • 6 tea bags
  • 1 cup sugar
  • 1 cup mixed berry juice
  • 2 cups seltzer water

Directions:

  1. Bring water to a boil and add tea bags.
  2. Let steep for about 3 minutes.
  3. Remove tea bags and stir in sugar.
  4. Put tea in a pitcher and set it in the fridge for a couple hours to chill.
  5. Once chilled, add the mixed berry juice and seltzer.
  6. Serve!

We know that all of these recipes are sure to be a hit at your next party. You can try experimenting with a few of the ingredients and dips as well to really make them your own. What is your favorite part of the Grammys? Is it the food, performances or seeing all of the musicians in their red carpet looks?

More: How to pick a champagne you won't regret come Jan. 1

We asked women for their favorite F word — their answers are fascinating

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We asked our SheKnows Experts Among Us community, and their answers were fabulous (see what I did there?)

Women share their favorite f-word
Image: Becci Burkhart/SheKnows

More: 6 Inspiring posts by celebrity ExpertsJoin in! SheKnows and the Ms. Foundation have teamed up to host a video contest on the F word — feminism. You can submit an original two- to three-minute video describing what feminism means to you by Feb. 19. You’ll be entered to win up to $5,000 in prizes, including $4,000 cash and a trip to NYC. Learn more about the contest, and read the official rules.

Favorite F words

Favorite F words

9 ways sugar is ruining your sex life

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1. Sugar results in fatigue

When you eat a sugary treat, your blood glucose shoots up. The pancreas kicks in to overdrive, producing excess insulin. This effort to manage glucose levels results in a drop in blood sugar. This sugar roller coaster disrupts the neurotransmitters in your brain, the hormone disruption combined with low blood sugar levels results in fatigue.

More: The most common mistake everyone makes about sex

2. Excess sugar turns to fat

When you eat something sweet, your liver gathers the excess sugar and converts it into fat. The production of excess fat forces your liver to turn off sex hormone-binding globulin. SHBG is a gene that produces a protein. Estrogen and testosterone need that protein to function.

Your sex drive is heavily influenced by estrogen and testosterone, and if SHBG isn’t functioning properly, estrogen and testosterone stop working as well. This can cause a loss of sex drive, zap energy levels, cause infertility, cause erectile dysfunction and shrink testicular size.

3. Too much sugar causes vaginal dryness

High sugar levels frequently cause vaginal dryness. This not only decreases pleasure but can also cause intercourse to be painful. Lower your sugar intake and pick up an all-natural lubricant — make sure it’s sugar free!

4. Sugar interrupts your microcirculation

Tiny little blood vessels feed your erogenous zones — especially your clitoris. Without adequate blood flow, erogenous nerves do not receive the nutrition or oxygen needed to function. In women, circulation damage can impair the ability to feel intimate pleasure and increase vaginal dryness. In men, circulation damage can cause erectile dysfunction.

More: I didn't have an orgasm until I was 30

5. Nerve damage can occur because of too much sugar

Over time, high blood sugar levels begin to damage the nerves themselves. Neuropathy can cause numbness, tingling and pain in the extremities, which is the reason foot problems are so common in diabetes. It can also cause neuropathy of the pelvis, directly impacting sexual function.

6. Sugar causes yeast and bacterial infections

High sugar levels create the perfect environment for yeast and bacteria to breed. An itchy, uncomfortable, painful infection is a sure-fire libido killer. High sugar intake also significantly increases the risk of developing a urinary tract infection or bladder infection.

7. Sugar forces your body to produce cortisol

When you eat sugar, your body produces the stress hormone, cortisol. Increased cortisol levels can cause decreased sex drive, erectile dysfunction and an irregular menstrual cycle.

8. Sugar disrupts your feel good hormones

Levels of dopamine, serotonin, and endorphins are altered by sugar intake. Initially, levels may spike in reaction to sugar, but over time, the body requires more and more to achieve the same response.

These hormones play essential roles in healthy sexual function, ineffective levels can damage intimacy. These hormones also play a role in healthy mood; irregular levels can cause depression, which further damages sexual function.

9. Sugar affects your self-confidence

Energy levels, weight levels and mood all contribute to confidence levels. Curves are sexy, but if you feel lousy, you’ll never enjoy them. Don’t let sugar snare your sex appeal — eat it in moderation.

More: I Knew I Was an Adult When: I became a teen mom at 15

4 ways to plan for retirement without it hindering your everyday life

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More: Improve your finances in six weeks with these simple goals

You are probably wondering if you'll have enough money to retire or will have to continue working. Our work lives may be extended, not because we want to but because we have to. For others, the thought of giving up a professional career is daunting, as our identity is tied to our professional work. It’s who we are — or have become. Sadly, this is a singularly focused lens with which we see ourselves.

A happy and healthy life is balanced and reflects simply good living, a close network of friends and family, healthy relationships and being connected to our community. Retirement is a term used to convey retiring from work and not retiring from living. There are some cultures where people don’t retire and continue working because retirement is the equivalent to counting down the days until death. Ouch! If you are feeling uncertain about your retirement, seek professional financial advice for enhanced peace of mind.

The challenge for each and every one of us is finding the optimal balance between living our best life today and planning for our future. Most of us don’t feel our age. Besides, who can look so far ahead, because all we have is today — tomorrow may be a bit fuzzy. So, how do you solve this problem? The answer is simple. Regardless of your life stage, you must plan for a long life, save and invest your money for the future.

More: How to stop letting fear hinder you in daily life

1. Live in the moment

There is nothing more powerful then being present and living a joyful existence today. Take stock of everything that is good in your life. If you don’t like your job, home or circle of friends, make a plan to change your situation. Don’t keep waiting for something better, as it won’t happen unless you take charge. Set new goals today.

2. Define your goals

Prioritize your objectives and hone in on the ones with the biggest payoff. Having a clear sense or direction in life is essential to enhancing your peace of mind. Enjoy and celebrate the journey.

3. Think long term

We live in a culture of conspicuous consumption and instant gratification. We buy stuff or things that we really don’t need but may give us some fleeting satisfaction or happiness. Spending our money today, without some thought about the need or goals of tomorrow, is short-term thinking. Retirement may be way off, but it's a goal. While it is hard to see your future self, your future self will thank you if your present self takes a long view of your life and personal finances. Embrace the fact that one day you will retire from work and be grateful you took stock of your life today.

4. Engage in mindful decision making

Each time you reach into your wallet, think twice about how you are about to spend your money. Check in with yourself to make sure you are shelling out for goal-related pursuits that give you joy, such as life experiences. You may watch your spending patterns changes as you begin to make trade-offs on how you spend your money.

It’s a challenge to think about retirement when living our best life today matters. But all of us will retire from working life one day, and we will need to have a retirement nest egg to achieve our lifestyle goals. In the meantime, enjoy today but try not to lose sight of tomorrow.

More: Why a robot financial adviser is a smart money choice

5 backpacking safety tips for travellers visiting Australia

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The women in their 20s befriended a 59-year-old local man and camped with him at Salt Creek before he allegedly held them captive, sexually assaulted and attempted to kill them.

One of the girls managed to escape, alerting a group of people who were fishing in the area, who calmed and protected the girl before making a call to police.

More: Tourism Australia campaign featuring Chris Hemsworth revealed

Tourism Australia spokesman Leo Seaton said they are taking the matter very seriously.

Backpacking, no matter where you are around the world, comes with an element of danger. Those dangers change depending on the situation of the country you're in.

While I want to make very clear that a victim of any crime so heinous as what these girls experienced is not their fault at all — it was the alleged perpetrator that was in the wrong — there are ways backpackers, especially we women, can be extra vigilant about our safety while backpacking in Australia.

1. Know where to camp

There are areas of Australia that are incredibly remote. Just because it's great to get off the beaten path sometimes, doesn't always mean it's a good idea, especially if you're a solo female backpacker. Stick to registered campsites — that way you can at least report to people if you see anything suspicious and you have people around to support you should you find yourself in trouble. Michela Fantinel from the Rocky Travel blog says she stays in registered campsites because it's safer. "As a solo traveller I would highly recommend staying in paid camping," she says. "This will help you getting familiar with the area, creating connections, finding out about local tours and activities, making use of landline phones. Moreover it is safe to stay in a paid camping site."

2. Research job offers

There is often the temptation while travelling to pick up work from the most unlikely of places. But be cautious about where and how you find employment. There have been reports of people being taken advantage of while working in remote areas on farms and while picking fruit. Make sure the place you are looking at working is reputable and registered. Chat to people in the area to get an idea of the place's reputation, too. Jodie from The Little Backpackers, who spent almost three months fruit picking in regional South Australia, says it's important to do your research. "We were promised something completely different than we got. I would warn you to be careful," she says.

More: Why Australia was named the 2016 destination of the year

3. Report your location

Backpacking in Australia can be a great way to disconnect from your life back home and lose yourself in the journey, but it's also important to make sure people know of your whereabouts should something go wrong. The travellers behind OzUltra say it's especially important to do this while travelling through remote Australia. "If you're travelling great distances or through remote locations you must always tell [an] appointed person at the very least when and where you will be starting your journey, the date you intend to arrive at your new destination or next check point [and] the exact route you will be taking, with contact check points in between if possible." If your appointed person doesn't hear from you when expected, they know to alert the authorities.

4. Plan ahead

Have I mentioned that Australia is huge? I have? Well, I want to make that point really clear because often travellers come to Australia hoping they can visit Melbourne, Sydney and Brisbane all in the one weekend. It's just not possible. Taking time to plan a trip through Australia, and having a fair idea of how far apart locations are, will help you plan your trip and have realistic expectations of how long you're going to spend in certain areas. Without this knowledge, you might find yourself spending three weeks in a remote part of the country without knowing how to get safely to your next destination.

5. Come prepared

If you're driving around the country, then it is more important than ever to come prepared for the journey. The travellers behind Travel Around Australia suggest doing the following before you embark on a journey through remote Australia.

  • Only travel through remote Australia if you have a roadworthy 4WD
  • Always check with the local motoring association or information centres about the current conditions of outback roads
  • Carry two spare tyres and extra oil and water
  • Have a well-equipped first aid kit with you
  • Find out where emergency services are located in remote areas
  • Be aware of the local weather conditions, noting that heat and rain can cause havoc on your trip

Safety should be your number one concern when backpacking in Australia, because without preparation and understanding of the local conditions you could end up in a situation you can't get out of.

What other safety tips do you have for people wanting to backpack through Australia? Let us know.

More: How to turn your road trip into the ultimate scavenger hunt

Why I'm celebrating Black History Month with delicious food

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I had no prior concept of French-speaking Haitians or brown Dominicans. I primarily knew southern Blacks. I actually dated a Dominican man and later a Haitian man. My southern father joked, "Aren't there any American Blacks in New York?" Obviously, there are... because I ended up marrying one! However, I love exploring the variety of cultures in New York.

More: Black History Month is a way for us to celebrate our culture

Although my family enjoys traveling together, I feel like I can experience practically every culture in the world without leaving my home in NYC. My family attends many cultural events to learn the history and traditions of various groups. The two things that tend to connect us the most, though, are the music (because we like to dance) and the food (because we like to eat).

It amuses me that my 11-year-old son's favorite foods are sushi and Indian food, cuisines that I had not tasted until I went to college. Of course, we also enjoy the various foods of the African diaspora — not just in Black History Month but every month.

More: How black actors and artists gave me hope growing up during segregation

If I had to name favorites, there are a few recipes from the African diaspora my family loves. This first dish is called Egunsi with Spinach. It is amazing. Yemisi, one of my dear friends from Nigeria, prepared this dish for my family and we can't get enough of it.

Another favorite is Easy Jamaican Curried Chicken. Various Jamaican friends have made curry for me over the years. Although traditional Jamaican cooks add their own herbs to the mix, it's primarily about the right curry powder with this dish.

And then there is my Easy Southern Pan Fried Chicken, which represents my beloved South. If you ask 10 different people with Southern roots how to cook fried chicken, then you will probably get 10 different answers. The truth is that we're all right, because it's based on how each person likes their final chicken prepared.

In any event, I hope that you take some time in the month of February to explore the various cultures within the African diaspora. If you can prepare a traditional dish and/or dine at a Black-owned restaurant, then the experience will be all the greater!

More: 12 Powerful quotes from influential African Americans

I married my former best friend's musician boyfriend

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More: I met my future German husband on a horticultural trip on the Amazon

No, no, no.

I had become the best of friends with a girl who lived across the country, thanks to the magic of the Internet. Kindred spirits, we eventually went from correspondence by email to talking multiple times a day (once cell phones became common, that is) and were absolutely each other's conscience and devil. Through the years, we saw each other through love and loss and success and failure from across the miles.

She started dating a musician while we were both in college, and she confided that she wasn't so sure about dating a touring musician, especially one 12 years older than her (13 years older than me). But she really liked this guy, so she was going for it. They'd dated for probably a year when we discovered he would be playing a gig about half an hour from where I was then living in Texas. We took it as our opportunity to finally have an honest-to-goodness girls' night out, complete with an old-school slumber party. She flew from Nashville to meet me in person for the first time, and we went to his show.

I joke today that none of us knew that would be the night I'd first lay eyes on the man I'd someday marry.

There was no love-at-first-sight thing. He says he remembers just thinking, Huh, she's really tall, and I thought, Oh, so this is her boyfriend. He and I hit it off immediately, though, and within minutes we were cracking each other up, talking like he and I had been friends for as many years as she and I had been.

This was the start of me catching every show he did within about a two-hour radius. Over the span of a couple of years, a real friendship blossomed between us—outside of my friendship with her. He wasn't just my best friend's boyfriend, he was my friend. He called my parents Mom and Dad the first time he met them, and it stuck.

Suddenly, things fell apart between him and my best friend, and they broke up. I found myself caught. I had individual friendships with both, and I didn't want to pick between them. I tried to nurture both friendships individually, careful to keep what was said to me on either side confidential. I was up front with each that I would not be ending my friendship with the other.

However, that balancing act fell apart when she accused me of having feelings for him, saying that somehow I had broken them up. "Girl code," she said, meaning I should snub him and stand in solidarity with her.

The friendship he and I had built wouldn't let me do that, no matter what some unwritten rulebook said. Ultimately, she felt I'd betrayed her and I felt she'd insulted my character. My friendship with her ended in dramatic fashion with long, scathing emails.

More: Why being married to your best friend is awesome

Meanwhile, my friendship with him was steady. I continued to go to any show I could, and we talked on the phone often. I even helped him with other girls he tried to date! It took two solid years before we realized we had somehow become each other's best friend. I couldn't wait to call him any time anything happened, and I jumped any time he called me. We spent hours on end on AOL Instant Messenger every night, or if he happened to be on the road, we'd sometimes talk on the phone until the sun came up.

A shift happened somewhere in those years, and I still remember the first time he referred to me as his girlfriend. In my head I went, Huh. So I guess we are dating. Because we never officially took that step — it just happened.

I was now long-distance dating a musician who was 13 years older than me that I met through my former best friend. I'm pretty sure if they gave prizes for most far-fetched relationship to have a chance, we'd have won it.

We dated almost a year before getting engaged, and we took a year to plan our wedding. I think — no I know — I had plenty of friends think we'd never make it down the aisle. We had the deck stacked against us both with his job and the age difference. But honestly, neither has ever been an issue. Oh, it gets a little awkward when you think about our ages in school years (yeah, just don't do that), but otherwise we don't even notice it, nor does anyone close to us.

We were long distance until two months before we got married. I credit the long-distance nature of our dating relationship to our being so solid with the long periods of time apart while he toured. We were long distance to start, and we could do long distance now.

With that, we learned two key things I think can make or break any relationship:

1. Communication is the key

We talk every day one way or another. I think in the last 11 years, there's been maybe two days we didn't talk at all due to technology issues. Otherwise, we talk on the phone, text message, use Instant Messenger or even email (this is huge when he travels overseas). It doesn't matter how you do it, just stay in touch.

2. Trust is imperative

Especially if communication is impossible for some reason, you must trust each other. It's the most precious commodity you have in any relationship. One of my favorite quotes ever comes from George MacDonald. It simply said, "To be trusted is a greater compliment than to be loved." Man, is that true.

My former best friend and I have mended fences. She's married now, too, and we agreed we've both moved on. It's all water under the bridge. We will never have the friendship we once had, but we've gone to dinner a couple times and it was pleasant. We banter on Facebook occasionally, and we actually have a lot of mutual friends. I think we would both say we grew and learned a lot through that tumultuous time and that ultimately it all worked out exactly as it should have.

More: The best advice two love experts have for long-term relationships


Why you should add mineral makeup to your beauty routine

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More: Understanding the hair dye and cancer risk connection

Calms and soothes the skin

Zinc oxide and titanium oxide are non-irritating and non-allergenic — ideal for sensitive skin. Since they have a high refractive index, meaning they bend the sunlight that hits the skin, and have UV protective properties, they can be used as a sunscreen to prevent premature aging. Zinc oxide, also a main compound in ointments, is also anti-inflammatory and anti-microbial, preventing skin infections. These properties help mineral makeup feel comfortable on your skin.

Provides a natural look — if you find the right color

The combination of titanium oxide and mica can provide the skin with a flattering shimmer. Mica enhances the effect of the concealer. The minerals’ particle size determines how visible the makeup will be when worn. The bigger it is, the more visible the makeup’s color will be. All types of makeup are categorized depending on their shades. Since mineral makeup doesn't contain synthetic colors, it can be difficult for people to pick the shade that suits their skin tone. You can find a match for your individual skin tone by consulting with a makeup artist or sampling a variety of hues at a makeup counter. When you find the right shade, mineral makeup truly provides a natural look.

More: How to get silky soft skin despite the dry winter air

Lightweight

Since mineral makeup is generally formulated as a loose powder, it enables the skin to breathe. It's free from the things that make other makeup feel heavy on your skin — parabens, synthetic dyes, alcohols and oils, all of which can clog and irritate pores.

Safe for the skin and overall health

Traditional makeup can contain additives that harm more than your skin. Certain cosmetics can trigger allergy and asthma symptoms because of the ingredients used.

The fewer chemicals that are on the label, the better it is for the skin, so you should be diligent about checking the ingredients. As with traditional makeup, mineral makeup shouldn't be slept in to enable the skin to breathe.

The skin is the largest part of your body. It protects you from bacteria, fungi and other disease-causing microorganisms, so it deserves to be taken care of. Oil in the skin is favorable for bacterial growth, especially when a pore is clogged, so choosing a makeup that is safe is important.

Regardless of what your skin type is, you can enjoy the advantages of mineral makeup. Beauty can be achieved without doing harm to your skin and to the environment. The shift of consumers to organic and natural products also means an increase in awareness about what is safe and beneficial. You deserve a safer alternative in enhancing your beauty.

More: 9 Beauty products that will make you Instagram ready

Teen gives a flower to each girl at his school for Valentine's Day

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Seventeen-year-old Utah high school student Hayden Godfrey worked as a McDonald's cook, a dishwasher at a Mexican restaurant and a bag boy at a grocery store in order to earn the $450 he needed to buy flowers for each female student in his school.

More: Many couples think singles are the ones having more fun on Valentine's Day

The big-hearted teen started his quest in middle school by sending flowers to a select group of his friends who didn't receive flowers on Valentine's Day.

flowers to all girls

flowers to all girls

"That broke his heart on Valentine's Day," his mom told ABC News of her "sensitive soul" son, adding that "he wanted every girl to feel joy." So he hatched his plan to give flowers to every girl, but he needed help. Sky View High School Assistant Principal Curt Hanks helped with the logistics, giving Godfrey a list of the students. Then, 20 of his pals helped hand out the 834 carnations on Feb. 11.

More: 24 GIFs that celebrate single life and why it's nothing to be ashamed of

"I think that he’s an amazing kid," Hanks said of Godfrey. "I’m speechless at his actions."

And his girlfriend of six months isn't jealous. "I, myself, spent a lot of Valentine’s Days not receiving anything," Lilyan Sharp told ABC News. "I know how it feels."

He saved the best gift of all for her: concert tickets to see A Great Big World in Salt Lake City in March. But for now, he's happy he's able to make all women at school feel special. "I don't think anything can compare to seeing every girl in your life holding a flower as they walk through the halls," the self-professed romantic wrote in a Facebook post.

More: 7 Dating lessons from Disney movies that still apply in 2016

Slow Cooker Sunday: Belly-warming country corn chowder takes the chill off

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slow cooker country corn chowder
Image: Brandi Bidot/SheKnows

This soup is one my family loves, and what’s even better is that it’s made so easily in the slow cooker. It's hearty and filling and perfect if you have leftover ingredients you need to use up.

In just 15 minutes, you'll be done prepping this creamy chowder. To the slow cooker I added some buttermilk for a tart flavor, along with green chilies for just a hint of spice. Next, diced ham, potatoes and corn go in and cook several hours or until the potatoes are super tender. If you are vegetarian, just omit the ham, and add in some additional vegetables like sweet bell peppers or even broccoli.

country corn chowder
Image: Brandi Bidot/SheKnows

Slow cooker country corn chowder recipe

Serves 6 – 8

Prep time: 15 minutes | Cook time: 4 hours | Total time: 4 hours 15 minutes

Ingredients:

  • 2 cups half-and-half
  • 1 cup low-fat buttermilk
  • 2 (14.75-ounce) cans creamed corn
  • 1 (4-ounce) can diced green chilies
  • 2 medium potatoes, diced
  • 1 small sweet onion, minced
  • 1 cup diced ham
  • 2 tablespoons butter
  • 1 dash hot sauce
  • 1 teaspoon garlic powder
  • Salt and pepper, to taste

Toppings (optional)

  • Shredded cheese
  • Sour cream
  • Corn kernels and chopped parsley, for garnish

Directions:

  1. To the bowl of the slow cooker, add all the ingredients, and mix well.
  2. Cover with the lid, and set the cooker to cook on low for 4 hours or until the potatoes are tender.
  3. Spoon the soup into bowls, and garnish with extra corn and fresh chopped parsley.
  4. Best served warm.

Before you go, check out our slideshow below.

slow cooker recipes
Image: Nancy Foster/SheKnows

slow cooker sunday
Image: SheKnows

More slow cooker soup recipes

Slow cooker lentil soup
Slow cooker Thai curry chicken soup
Slow cooker vegetarian taco soup

SNL's Beyoncé trailer targets white people — in the best way (VIDEO)

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But it felt as if Beyoncé's "Formation" video and her Super Bowl performance were slowly making their way out of headlines.

Until Saturday Night Live happened last night.

No, no one was really talking about Melissa McCarthy as host, while the Kanye and Kyle Mooney rap battle made its rounds on Twitter. A few commented on Kanye announcing that his new album is online during a bizarre moment mid-performance.

But it was the spoof trailer titled "The Day Beyoncé Turned Black" that, uh, slayed.

The Day Beyoncé Turned Black SNL trailer

The Day Beyoncé Turned Black SNL trailer

Beyoncé SNL reactions

Beyoncé SNL reactions

And they're right. People lost their collective minds when the video dropped. But this video isn't about everyone. It's about how white people, specifically, turned the song and music video into a thing that it was not: a video for them. And because of this, madness ensued.

The SNL trailer covered it perfectly: the over-the-top coverage from media that week (from "Beyoncé released new music that embraces her black heritage" to "Beyoncé's video is unapologetically black" and "She black... out of nowhere!"); the fact that white people couldn't relate to the lyrics ("'Hot sauce in my bag swag?' What does that even mean?!"), to white people facing the harsh truth that, no, the song is not for them ("This song isn't for us... but usually everything is!").

"It was the day white people lost their Beyoncé."

The message behind the video was on-point, and it was something everyone needed to see. Did most people (read: white people) overreact to the video and halftime performance? Sure. Can we use this spoof trailer to finally put an end to it? Let me answer that question with another question: Have you been on the Internet lately? Of course not, but it does emphasize a very important point — one that Jessica Williams brought to our attention the week prior on The Daily Show: "The point is Beyoncé is black, and this song is her message." That's it. Simple as that.

More: Beyoncé's 'Formation; video slayed, but her message falls flat

jessica williams

jessica williams

What did you think of SNL's "The Day Beyoncé Turned Black"? Tell us in the comments below.

Before you go, check out our slideshow below.

snl actors slideshow
Image: WENN

I've been with my partner for eight years and we still don't live together

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We have been together for more than eight years and will get married when our kids are grown. There are pros and cons to our arrangement that make sense to us, but let me put all that aside for the moment and ask — beg — this question: When did it officially become weird to be in a committed relationship without live together?

More: I married my husband in secret after only two months of dating

“When are you going to get married?” used to be the second most common question we heard. The first was a hesitant, “So, um, why don’t you live together?”

When we were growing up, “living in sin” was only a few degrees better than having a baby out of wedlock — just a few. That old-school thinking has thankfully gone the way of corded phones. Today, no one bats an eye if you’re living together, or if they do, at least they won’t lecture you to your face. I wouldn't judge you for living together unmarried, so why assume something is wrong with me — and my relationship — if I choose differently?

For us, it’s not about religious beliefs, and it’s not because we don’t want to. We do want to, and we plan to. Living apart has everything to do with our kids. He has a tween daughter, and I have a teen son. We didn’t tell them we were dating for more than a year. My son, who only sees his faraway father a few times a year, made it clear he does not want a stepfather. He does not want another man in the house. He does not want a sister. And I respect that.

More: Why I didn't react to my high schooler's first shocking transformation

My boyfriend’s daughter, who mainly lives with her mother, says she’d love for me to be her stepmom, but — here comes the killer caveat — that means she’d have to live with my son. Over the years they have developed a tenuous relationship. They are both only children and the products of divorce. I am not going to force them under the same roof.

The bottom line is they don’t want to be disrupted any more than they have been. It would feel abusive to force it on them.

That’s not to say everyone has a bad outcome — far from it. Some kids need that extra mom or dad figure desperately. Sometimes a woman needs the financial support. I choose not to take a risk right now.

For us, as a couple, it comes down to putting our children’s needs ahead of our wants. Each of our kids has all of our attention, save twice-a-week date nights at local restaurants. There's no drama to rock their tumultuous teenage worlds.

In case you’re wondering, our intimacy is reserved for when the kids are with the other parent or at sleepovers or it takes the place of a dinner date. Is that fun? As an adult, the answer is hell no. We love to fall asleep in each other’s arms. We love a long, leisurely coffee and newspaper morning. We are best friends that hate to be apart.

Worse, we are Baby Boomers: Our friends are having grandchildren, not spazzing out about science projects and crushes. By now, we should be making our own choices — to have exactly the life we want. We have more miles behind us than ahead.

That exact thought gives us patience and hindsight. We’ve had it all already: careers, travel, adventures and craziness.

As my boyfriend says, “Our kids didn’t ask to be born.” We have one shot at raising our kids. Our sacrifices, as a couple, seem small in comparison. Why, folks, is that so hard to understand?

Don’t worry. We will live together. We will marry. We will have that happy ending. And, yes, we can wait.

More: I had $8k in facial plastic surgery, and it did wonders for my self-esteem

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