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11 books to help you create a happier, more optimistic life

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When you’re trying to find happiness, whether in your career or in life, you do a lot of reading on the topic. I’ve built a successful career in marketing, with freelance writing gigs on the side, and I’ve been sharing pieces of what I’ve learned on my blog, Punched Clocks, to help others find happiness in their careers.

More: How I knew I needed to quit my corporate job

To help those like me, who are seeking happiness, here are 11 books to help you on your way:

1. The Happiness Advantage

Image: Amazon

The Happiness Advantage is one of my favorite books — and for good reason. Shawn Anchor holds that our traditional perceptions of success and happiness are warped. He says success won’t make us happy, but rather, the opposite. Happiness breeds success — both at work and in our lives. Psychological research, including Anchor’s own research in addition to a Harvard study, demonstrate how seven principles can help us turn the common misconception on its head.

2. The Four Agreements

Image: Amazon

The Four Agreements is a small, philosophical book exploring the roots of happiness, and the four agreements that happy human beings make with themselves. Don Miguel Ruiz uses Toltec wisdom and philosophy to lift someone out of their habits, and start them on the path to emotional and spiritual freedom.

3. Eat, Pray, Love

Image: Amazon

Elizabeth Gilbert became a household name thanks to Eat, Pray, Love and the subsequent film, but the book is actually chock full of inspiration. Too often, our successes are judged in terms of the things we have: a nice house, lucrative job or stable relationship. Leaving behind her husband, career and home, Gilbert set out to find herself and her own version of success in a year of traveling through three different cultures.

4. Thrive

Image: Amazon
When Arianna Huffington collapsed from exhaustion and sleep deprivation, she was forced to take a step back. She took time to reevaluate her life, and what she thought was success and happiness. Huffington, as the editor-in-chief and founder of the Pulitzer Prize winning Huffington Post, was by all accounts one of the most successful women in the world. However, she soon realized that success is about more than just the corner office and a staggering paycheck, realizations she chronicles in Thrive.

5. Stumbling on Happiness

Image: Amazon

Harvard psychologist Daniel Gilbert puts imagination and foresight under a microscope in Stumbling on Happiness, an inspection of the human imagination. Gilbert proposes that we all think we know what will make us happy, but that our imaginations limit us when we think of what happiness is. The book is about a simple concept: We don’t know how we will feel tomorrow, or the day after or the day after that. Our idea of happiness is just that: an idea.

More: How to stop letting fear hinder you in daily life

6. The Dash

Image: Amazon

On our tombstones, regardless of when we’re born and when we die, the life in between is represented by a single dash. In The Dash Linda Ellis and Mac Anderson dive into that dash and explore the way that we choose to live our lives. The book can turn your perspective on a dime and make you think about how we make all of our choices.

7. The Happiness Project

Image: Amazon

One day, Gretchen Rubin realized that time was passing, and that she was letting much of it slip by without making an effort to have it mean something. In her memoir, The Happiness ProjectRubin applies pop culture, spirituality and psychology to a year-long effort to be happier. Through her project, she realizes that happiness is contingent upon change, challenges — and even money. A great read, and an excellent starting point for your own happiness project.

8. Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff (and It’s All Small Stuff)

Image: Amazon

We all have those little things that drive us crazy, and the things that drive us crazy that we don’t even realize are little things. Richard Carlson’s book, Don't Sweat the Small Stuff, outlines a bunch of ways to let the small stuff go, and focus on what really matters. Among the things to realize are that perfection is impossible, you can’t fight every battle and it’s important to live in the now. Carlson outlines small changes to make that will help you lead a happier life.

9. The Magic of Thinking Big

Image: Amazon

Even though it sounds like a cliché, believe it can be done, and it can be. In The Magic of Thinking Bigauthor David J. Schwartz gives readers useful methods for visualizing their successes, and then making them happen. Whether it’s your marriage, job or social life, learning to change your thinking about these aspects of life can also change the things that happen for you. It’s worth a read, and certainly worth trying some of these techniques.

10. Daring Greatly

Image: Amazon

For women everywhere, Brene Brown is an inspiration and role model. Daring Greatly explores vulnerability and how uncertainty and emotional reactions commonly seen as weaknesses can, and should, be looked at as signs of true courage. Brown argues that there is nothing as hurtful or uncomfortable as looking back on our lives and wondering, “What if?”

11. 10% Happier

Image: Amazon

After having a panic attack on national television, author Dan Harris embarked on an adventure to tame the constant voice in his head and get mental help. It came in the form of meditation, and 10% Happier spans the realms of self-help, neuroscience and spirituality to get there.

Really, no book can teach you how to be happy. What they can do is help you get on your way to being happy in both your life and your career. Most of the work is on you, but picking up these books is a great first step.

More: 30 Hilarious gifts for your pun-loving friends


11 music memoirs to make you feel like you’re with the band

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Musicians don’t generally get book deals until they’re already big stars, so it’s tempting to think that they sprung fully formed onto a stage with an amp and a record deal. Reading any of these music memoirs will remind you: it’s a long way to the top — if you want to rock and roll.

1. Just Kids

by Patti Smith

Image: Indie Bound

I start with this book because it’s not just a beautifully written music memoir; it’s a beautifully written memoir, period. Patti Smith chronicles her long, complex and loving relationship with artist Robert Mapplethorpe from their youngest days to his untimely death, revealing with each page her own evolution as an artist.

More: 10 Must-read celebrity memoirs from stars you already love

2. Mo’ Meta Blues: The World According to Questlove

by Ahmir “Questlove” Thompson

Image: Indie Bound

Don’t bother signing up for a History of Rap/Hip-Hop class; read this and get schooled in the best possible way. The Roots’ Questlove brings both an insider’s view and a fan’s appreciation of the genre. It's just a cherry on top that his writing has humor, energy and clarity. I pretty much died of the cute when I read that as a little tyke, he used to play record store in his room.

3. Hunger Makes Me a Modern Girl: A Memoir

by Carrie Brownstein

Image: Indie Bound

When Greil Marcus declared Sleater-Kinney the best rock band in America in 2001, too many people said, “Who?” The three-woman punk band comprising of Carrie Brownstein, Corin Tucker and Janet Weiss came out of the ‘90s music scene in the city that Brownstein would later memorialize in Portlandia. The anachronistic lack of rock-star attitude — when the band broke up, Brownstein volunteered at an animal shelter for a year, and her account of the sex/drugs/rock 'n’ roll lifestyle takes up about two paragraphs — is only one of many reasons to grab this book. Don't forget to grab Sleater-Kinney’s 2015 album No Cities to Love.

More: 14 Portlandia-inspired gifts any fan would freak out over

4. Unknown Pleasures: Inside Joy Division

by Peter Hook

Image: Indie Bound

Fans of Joy Division and New Order knew Peter Hook as the taciturn bassist anchoring the beat of the synth-and-guitar tinged dance music that filled clubs in the ‘80s. As the band wound down, Hook’s gloves came off, and his ongoing grudge against his former bandmates reaches full flower in this book. That’s not a criticism; he’s definitely got a POV to share and does so with great humor and lots of juicy detail. I imagine the truth lies somewhere between this and lead singer Barney Sumner’s 2015 book Chapter and Verse, but Hook’s is definitely the more rollicking read.

5. Girl in a Band: A Memoir

by Kim Gordon

Image: Indie Bound

When Kim Gordon and her husband Thurston Moore broke up in 2011 after 27 years of marriage, a generation of rock fans gasped. For Gen X fans of Sonic Youth, it felt like having your parents break up. Gordon’s 2015 memoir tells her side of the story, but doesn’t get bogged down with it, preferring to examine instead the internal forces that propelled her onstage as one of the most innovative musicians of her era. In other words, she does the kind of self-searching that makes for good memoir.

6. Unfaithful Music and Disappearing Ink

by Elvis Costello

Image: Indie Bound

One of the hottest books released last year, Elvis Costello’s reflections on his long career in music and his many collaboration partners, from Paul McCartney to Burt Bacharach and George Jones, make this a must read for fans of the man born Declan McManus.

7. Record Collecting for Girls: Unleashing Your Inner Music Nerd, One Album at a Time

by Courtney E. Smith

Image: Indie Bound

This one is an outlier because it’s written by a fan, not a musician, but for any woman who has had a dude mansplain to her why she should or shouldn’t like a particular musician, Record Collecting for Girls will remind you that you’re not alone. Courtney Smith’s not the average fan, of course — she spent eight years at MTV as a music programmer and manager of label relations, and apparently is to blame for Fall Out Boy. Raise a glass to female music nerds everywhere.

8. In the Pleasure Groove: Love, Death, and Duran Duran

by John Taylor

Image: Indie Bound

Yes, ladies of a certain age, John Taylor — the Taylor who was the tall member of Duran Duran, with the cheekbones — wrote a book, and it’s one that belongs on the bookshelf of even the most casual DD fan. I admit that I had low expectations for this one and bought it mainly for the prodigious picture sections. But I was surprisingly moved by the way Taylor writes about his relationship with his family — reduced to tears at one point while I read this at my kids’ gym class. Brains plus talent plus beauty? Now that’s just good reading.

9. Rock On: An Office Power Ballad

by Dan Kennedy

Image: Indie Bound

Another memoir that falls outside the lines because it’s written by someone who’s a behind-the-scenes member of the music industry. In this case, Kennedy worked in the marketing department of a major record label in the early 2000s. You remember that time, right? Just as the whole industry started to implode? This book pulls back the curtain as everyone started to panic, and remains one of the funniest books I’ve ever read. The scene where Kennedy meets Duran Duran cracks me up, no matter how many times I’ve reread it.

10. I’ll Never Write My Memoirs

by Grace Jones

Image: Indie Bound

OK, I admit it: I haven’t read this yet. But it’s on my shortlist for the next few months because it got great reviews when it came out last year and when has Grace Jones ever done anything that wasn’t fascinating?

11. Autobiography

by Morrissey

Image: Indie Bound

This final recommendation comes with a caution: I found it to be an excruciating slog. Yet, if you love Steven Patrick Morrissey, you may love this. Fans of The Smiths’ front man know that he will lecture you about eating meat, conflate his genius out of all bounds and tease you with confusing details about his love life. There will be pages of nonsense too, like when he basically reproduces the 1950s-era TV guide for British television. But, it’s exactly that ego, humor and eccentric genius that make him the musician he is.

More: 8 Ways Taylor Swift's 1989 changed the world

Baftas 2016 winners: See the complete list here live

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More: Stunning looks from the Baftas red carpet

Adapted Screenplay in 2016

  • WINNER The Big Short (Adam McKay, Charles Randolph)
  • Steve Jobs (Aaron Sorkin)
  • Brooklyn (Nick Hornby)
  • Carol (Phyllis Nagy)
  • Room (Emma Donoghue)

Animated Film in 2016

  • Shaun the Sheep Movie (Mark Burton, Richard Starzak)
  • Minions (Pierre Coffin, Kyle Balda)
  • WINNER Inside Out (Pete Docter)

British Short Animation in 2016

  • Manoman (Simon Cartwright, Kamilla Kristiane Hodol)
  • Prologue (Richard Williams, Imogen Sutton)
  • WINNER Edmond (Nina Gantz, Emilie Jouffroy)

British Short Film in 2016

  • Elephant (Nick Helm, Alex Moody, Esther Smith)
  • Mining Poems or Odes (Callum Rice, Jack Cocker)
  • Samuel-613 (Billy Lumby, Cheyenne Conway)
  • WINNER Operator (Caroline Bartleet, Rebecca Morgan)
  • Over (Jörn Threlfall, Jeremy Bannister)

Cinematography in 2016

  • Mad Max: Fury Road (John Seale)
  • WINNER The Revenant (Emmanuel Lubezki)
  • Sicario (Roger Deakins)
  • Carol (Ed Lachman)
  • Bridge of Spies (Janusz Kaminski)

Costume Design in 2016

  • Brooklyn (Odile Dicks-Mireaux)
  • WINNER Mad Max: Fury Road (Jenny Beavan)
  • The Danish Girl (Paco Delgado)
  • Cinderella (Sandy Powell)
  • Carol (Sandy Powell)

Director in 2016

  • WINNER Alejandro G. Iñárritu (The Revenant)
  • Adam McKay (The Big Short)
  • Steven Spielberg (Bridge of Spies)
  • Ridley Scott (The Martian)
  • Todd Haynes (Carol)

Documentary in 2016

  • WINNER Amy (Asif Kapadia, James Gay-Rees)
  • Listen to Me Marlon (Stevan Riley, John Battsek, George Chignell, R.J. Cutler)
  • He Named Me Malala (Davis Guggenheim, Walter Parkes, Laurie Macdonald)
  • Sherpa (Jennifer Peedom, Bridget Ikin, John Smithson)
  • Cartel Land (Matthew Heineman, Tom Yellin)

EE Rising Star in 2016

  • Taron Egerton
  • WINNER John Boyega
  • Dakota Johnson
  • Brie Larson
  • Bel Powley

Editing in 2016

  • The Big Short (Hank Corwin)
  • WINNER Mad Max: Fury Road (Margaret Sixel)
  • Bridge of Spies (Michael Kahn)
  • The Revenant (Stephen Mirrione)
  • The Martian (Pietro Scalia)

Fellowship in 2016

  • Sidney Poitier

Film in 2016

  • WINNER The Revenant (Steve Golin, Alejandro G. Iñárritu, Arnon Milchan, Mary Parent, Keith Redmon)
  • Spotlight (Steve Golin, Blye Pagon Faust, Nicole Rocklin, Michael Sugar)
  • Bridge of Spies (Kristie Macosko Krieger, Marc Platt, Steven Spielberg)
  • The Big Short (Dede Gardner, Jeremy Kleiner, Brad Pitt)
  • Carol (Elizabeth Karlsen, Christine Vachon, Stephen Woolley)

Film Not in the English Language in 2016

  • The Assassin (Hou Hsiao-Hsien)
  • Force Majeure (Ruben Östlund)
  • Timbuktu (Abderrahmane Sissako)
  • WINNER Wild Tales (Damián Szifron)
  • Theeb (Naji Abu Nowar)

Leading Actor in 2016

  • WINNER Leonardo DiCaprio (The Revenant)
  • Eddie Redmayne (The Danish Girl)
  • Michael Fassbender (Steve Jobs)
  • Matt Damon (The Martian)
  • Bryan Cranston (Trumbo)

Leading Actress in 2016

  • Maggie Smith (The Lady in the Van)
  • Alicia Vikander (The Danish Girl)
  • Cate Blanchett (Carol)
  • WINNER Brie Larson (Room)
  • Saoirse Ronan (Brooklyn)

Makeup And Hair in 2016

  • Brooklyn (Morna Ferguson, Lorraine Glynn)
  • The Revenant (Siân Grigg, Duncan Jarman, Robert Pandini)
  • WINNER Mad Max: Fury Road (Lesley Vanderwalt, Damian Martin)
  • The Danish Girl (Jan Sewell)
  • Carol (Jerry Decarlo, Patricia Regan, Morag Ross)

Original Music in 2016

  • WINNER The Hateful Eight (Ennio Morricone)
  • Bridge of Spies (Thomas Newman)
  • Star Wars: The Force Awakens (John Williams)
  • Sicario (Jóhann Jóhannsson)
  • The Revenant (Ryuichi Sakamoto, Alva Noto)

Original Screenplay in 2016

  • Inside Out (Josh Cooley, Pete Docter, Meg Lefauve)
  • The Hateful Eight (Quentin Tarantino)
  • Ex Machina (Alex Garland)
  • Bridge of Spies (Matthew Charman, Ethan Coen, Joel Coen)
  • WINNER Spotlight (Tom McCarthy, Josh Singer)

Outstanding British Contribution to Cinema in 2016

  • Angels Costumes

Outstanding British Film in 2016

  • The Danish Girl (Tom Hooper, Tim Bevan, Eric Fellner, Anne Harrison, Gail Mutrux, Lucinda Coxon)
  • WINNER Brooklyn (John Crowley, Finola Dwyer, Amanda Posey, Nick Hornby)
  • Ex Machina (Alex Garland, Andrew Macdonald, Allon Reich)
  • Amy (Asif Kapadia, James Gay-Rees)
  • 45 Years (Andrew Haigh, Tristan Goligher)
  • The Lobster (Yorgos Lanthimos, Ceci Dempsey, Ed Guiney, Lee Magiday, Efthimis Filippou)

Outstanding Debut by a British Writer, Director or Producer in 2016

  • Sean McAllister, Elhum Shakerifar (A Syrian Love Story)
  • WINNER Naji Abu Nowar, Rupert Lloyd (Theeb)
  • Debbie Tucker Green (Second Coming)
  • Stephen Fingleton (The Survivalist)
  • Alex Garland (Ex Machina)

Production Design in 2016

  • Star Wars: The Force Awakens (Rick Carter, Darren Gilford, Lee Sandales)
  • WINNER Mad Max: Fury Road (Colin Gibson, Lisa Thompson)
  • The Martian (Arthur Max, Celia Bobak)
  • Carol (Judy Becker, Heather Loeffler)
  • Bridge of Spies (Adam Stockhausen, Rena DeAngelo, Bernhard Henrich)

Sound in 2016

  • WINNER The Revenant (Lon Bender, Chris Duesterdiek, Martin Hernandez, Frank A. Montaño, Jon Taylor, Randy Thom)
  • Mad Max: Fury Road (Scott Hecker, Chris Jenkins, Mark Mangini, Ben Osmo, Gregg Rudloff, David White)
  • Star Wars: The Force Awakens (David Acord, Andy Nelson, Christopher Scarabosio, Matthew Wood, Stuart Wilson)
  • Bridge of Spies (Drew Kunin, Richard Hymns, Andy Nelson, Gary Rydstrom)
  • The Martian (Paul Massey, Mac Ruth, Oliver Tarney, Mark Taylor)

Special Visual Effects in 2016

  • Ant-Man (Jake Morrison, Greg Steele, Dan Sudick, Alex Wuttke)
  • WINNER Star Wars: The Force Awakens (Chris Corbould, Roger Guyett, Paul Kavanagh, Neal Scanlan)
  • Mad Max: Fury Road (Andrew Jackson, Dan Oliver, Tom Wood, Andy Williams)
  • The Martian (Chris Lawrence, Tim Ledbury, Richard Stammers, Steven Warner)
  • Ex Machina (Mark Ardington, Sara Bennett, Paul Norris, Andrew Whitehurst)

Supporting Actor in 2016

  • Idris Elba (Beasts of No Nation)
  • Christian Bale (The Big Short)
  • WINNER Mark Rylance (Bridge of Spies)
  • Mark Ruffalo (Spotlight)
  • Benicio Del Toro (Sicario)

Supporting Actress in 2016

  • Jennifer Jason Leigh (The Hateful Eight)
  • Alicia Vikander (Ex Machina)
  • Julie Walters (Brooklyn)
  • WINNER Kate Winslet (Steve Jobs)
  • Rooney Mara (Carol

More: Sir Ian McKellen weighs in on the 2016 Oscars debate

6 healthy ways to satisfy your chocolate cravings

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More: 12 Convenient grocery-store foods that are actually good for you

Workout-recovery wonder drink

Image: Fairlife

Chocolate milk does a body good, especially when you enjoy it after a workout. In three related studies, researchers compared the recovery benefits from drinking low-fat chocolate milk post-exercise with plain water and sports drinks. In high-endurance athletes, the results showed a post-workout chocolate-milk fix can result in improved performance, aerobic fitness and adaptation and better body composition. There you have it! Low-fat chocolate milk makes a perfect alternative to sports drinks that contains only sugar and no protein. With 13 grams of protein per serving, Fairlife reduced-fat chocolate milk has 50 percent more protein than ordinary chocolate milk. Bonus: It has half the sugar of regular chocolate milk and is lactose free, so it's a great post-workout boost for everyone.

A little bit of sweetness for your day

Image: Heavenly Organics

Honey is my sweetener of choice. I mix it into yogurt, tea and smoothies. When I came across Heavenly Organics Chocolate Honey Patties, I found a new secret weapon to also satisfy my sweet tooth! These delicious bite-size patties have a dark-chocolate shell made from 100 percent cocoa and are filled with 100 percent organic raw white honey. Made with four ingredients or less, each patty is also under 60 calories. With flavors like mint, double chocolate and pomegranate, you can satisfy your craving for chocolate any day of the week. Bonus: they're non-GMO and gluten, dairy and soy free.

More: 6 Breakfast choices to add a boost of energy to your morning

A new road trip favorite

Image: PureOrganic

Two words: Crispy Clusters. This already sounds indulgent! Add a superstar lineup of organic ingredients, like quinoa and amaranth, and you’ve got yourself a balanced snack to enjoy in the morning on your yogurt or even take along on a road trip! Pure Crispy Clusters contain only 5 grams of sugar, 120 calories and 3 grams of fiber/serving. And they come in three flavors: chocolate pecan, honey peanut and salted caramel. Bonus: As with all Pure’s products, they are non-GMO project verified, gluten-free and vegan.

Loco for coco

Image: Chobani

If you're looking for an alternative to ice cream or other desserts, look no further than the Chobani Flip line. I personally love the Almond Coco Loco flavor — even the name is fun! It’s made with creamy Chobani greek yogurt, which naturally bumps up the protein. Add antioxidant-rich dark chocolate and almonds, and you’ve got a satisfying treat that is good for your waistline — and your tastebuds.

Indulge at breakfast

Image: KindSnacks

If busy mornings are the norm in your house, then convenience is king. If you are looking for an on-the-go breakfast that also includes whole grains, check out KIND breakfast bars, made with five super grains — oats, millet, buckwheat, amaranth and quinoa. Unlike breakfast bars that are loaded with sugar, these will provide you with sustained energy. With 5 grams of fiber, 4 grams of protein and only 11 grams of sugar, you can enjoy this treat with a Greek yogurt to bump up your protein, and maybe try spreading almond or peanut butter on it for added healthy fats.

An afternoon pick-me-up

Image: Somersault Life Company

I don’t know about you, but my craving for chocolate usually kicks in midafternoon. One of the things I look for is a balanced snack that will fuel me until dinnertime, as I usually head to the gym in the afternoon. Somersaults Dutch Cocoa crunchy bites contain 5 grams of protein and 3 grams of fiber per serving. They are also low in sugar — less than 4 grams per serving. Sunflower seeds, the number one ingredient in these nuggets, contain healthy fats, making this a great go-to chocolate snack!

More: Vitamin-packed snacks your kids will actually like

How to be a breastfeeding advocate without being a jerk

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Others are either unable to breastfeed or have made the choice to go to formula for other reasons. But when people start arguing about which one is "better," sometimes they make statements that are not only unhelpful but also unfair.

Motherhood is hard enough as it is — if another mother's choices don't affect you or harm anyone else, then why get involved? In the words of the great Salt N' Pepa, "It's none of your business."

Here are seven things breastfeeding advocates need to stop saying if they want to actually help moms: 

1. Any mom can breastfeed.

What about adoptive mothers? How do you think it makes them feel to be told that they are uncaring mothers because they aren't breastfeeding? And what about women who, for a variety of reasons, are physically unable to lactate or breastfeed? Some of them would probably love to breastfeed if they could, but they can't. That doesn't mean that they are lacking in any way, whatsoever. They are doing the very best they can, as most parents are. (That's going to be a recurring theme, by the way.)

2. Formula-fed babies aren't as smart as breastfed babies.

This is not true. Not only have numerous studies proven that wrong, but even the studies that claim it is true found that the difference was no more than a few points. Color me crazy, but I don't think being formula-fed is going to keep any kid out of Harvard. That lays a lot of responsibility on one small factor during the first year of life as opposed to many other, more important factors like socio-economic status, parental involvement and educational opportunities. It's not the formula, friends.

More: Why moms breastfeed in public: The truth and nothing but the truth

3. Moms who don't breastfeed are selfish.

This is absolutely correct. Mothers who don't breastfeed have made a choice that benefits and works for them and, therefore, their children. They have decided to think about themselves, their needs and their abilities, and those are things we should applaud because mothers don't do that enough. How often do we tell women that they need to take care of themselves before they can take care of anybody else? If trying to force breastfeeding is only going make life unbearable for a new mother, why wouldn't it make sense for her to explore other options in order to keep herself above water so she can be there for her child? You don't need to be a martyr to be a good mother.

4. Women wouldn't choose formula if they were better informed.

Choosing formula does not mean that you haven't done all your research. Many, if not most, women make this choice with their eyes wide open, aware of all the arguments for and against. Saying that they just don't know any better is condescending; it's like telling someone that if they really understood Woody Allen's genius, then they would like his films. But no, some of us just don't like Woody Allen. Sorry.

More: Women's group tells breastfeeding mom she can't bring her baby

5. Every woman should try to breastfeed.

But why? Formula doesn't hurt babies, it doesn't hurt families, and other women's breastfeeding choices don't affect you one iota. If a woman decides she doesn't even want to try, and her reason is "just because," then why not shrug your shoulders and move on? At some point this becomes a moral judgment instead of one that is based on what you think is best for newborns.

6. Formula feeding is the easy way out.

Let's keep in mind how hard parenting is, even on the easiest of days. Does it benefit anyone to shame someone who, like the rest of us, loves her children and is just trying to get through the day? Save your outrage for things that make a difference in children's lives, like gun control or domestic violence. If they aren't your boobs, they aren't your business. Again, no one gets a medal for "most difficult life."

More: Gorgeous photos of moms feeding their babies remind us to "judge less"

7. Breast is best.

This is judgment packaged to sound like science. Best for whom and in what way? There's no science that says that formula-fed babies do any worse than breastfed babies, and shouldn't that be the only criteria? "Best" is a loaded word that makes a lot of moms who formula feed feel bad about themselves. I can't imagine that the goal of breastfeeding advocates is to shame other women into choosing to breastfeed. If making people feel like they're failing their children is your recruiting tactic, then you may want to rethink your approach.

What do you feel like we've heard way too much of from breastfeeding promoters?

Before you go, check out our slideshow below:

Incredible birth photos
Image: Marijke Thoen

5 ways to keep your skin healthy during long winter months

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More: 5 Simple tips for getting better skin — no matter what your skin type

1. Banish Grandpa Simpson skin

Do scaly legs and overall dehydrated skin all over your body have you down? Slathering on moisturizer sometimes doesn’t help your already dry skin. You need to exfoliate all that dead skin away to reveal the newer, fresher skin underneath, then hydrate with a double punch of a body oil and a thicker cream on top to seal in the moisture. Coconut oil is a great body moisturizer, because it’s packed with saturated fats that give the skin a healthy glow. Generally, body oils that are good try to contain argan oil, grapeseed oil and olive oil.

2. How to beat Eloise Midgen acne

Poor Eloise Midgen tried witchcraft to banish her acne, but you must work with skin-care products. You'd think that during the less sweaty winter months, acne would cease to be such a big problem, but it can feel like the opposite. Wearing heavy clothing, like a hat along the hairline, and layers can cause acne problems on the face or body. You might want to turn to high-end acne products to fix the issue, but those don’t always do the trick, and there are many less expensive options in the drugstore. Look for a combination of salicylic acid (at least 2 percent) and benzoyl peroxide. Neutrogena and Clean & Clear both make inexpensive products for acne with the exact same active ingredients as the more expensive skin-care lines.

More: 5 Egg beauty treatments that will have you breaking up with store-bought skin care

3. Save yourself from nails like Allison's in The Breakfast Club

Ally Sheedy's Allison just couldn’t stop chewing her nails in The Breakfast Club. But winter can ruin your nails even if you don't bite them by drying out your cuticles. If you aren't wearing gloves, your hands will really feel the effects of cold, dry air. Make putting on gloves a habit whenever you step out into the cold. You’ll be amazed at just how much this one step can save you from a winter’s worth of dried-out, ragged cuticles. Protect your hands even more by slathering on a rich hand cream before you go to bed.

4. Soften Napoleon Dynamite “Can you bring me my Chapstick?” lips

You would think lip balm alone would solve dry-lip problems, but really you're just putting a temporary fix on troublesome lips. You have to get rid of the chapped flakes first with a good lip scrub. Many companies make them, or you can easily concoct your own at home with equal parts sugar and extra virgin olive oil. Rub on your lips for a full minute to get rid of excessive flakiness. Then hydrate with a lip product that contains beeswax and shea butter to hydrate your perfect pout.

5. Don't blow your way to a nose Like Rudolph

Your nasal passages can get dried out due to all the indoor irritants spread around by your heating system. Plus, if you get a cold and have to blow your nose multiple times a day, that area can get red and raw. No one wants to look like Bozo the Clown, so take care of that area by first using the softest facial tissue you can find. Keep some in your handbag for when you are out and about. Then hydrate the area with a face balm that is thick enough to soothe the sensitive area. (A great one to try is basic Aquaphor, which you can find in any drugstore.)

With a little know-how, care and prevention, winter doesn’t have to wreak havoc on your entire body. Taking a little extra time with the right steps and products will get you through the chilly months in great shape.

More: The do's and don'ts of hair treatments during pregnancy

12 classic novels written by women that everyone should read

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More: 10 Books every college-bound student should read

1. Pride and Prejudice

by Jane Austen

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Elizabeth Bennet has four sisters, a mother who wants to marry them all off, a father who locks himself away in his study and a suitor who is far from charming. A story of how first impressions can lead to misjudgments, Pride and Prejudice is more than just a story of girl meets boy but of how love can grow in even the most unlikely places.

2. Middlemarch

by George Eliot

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The tangled web of community life sweeps off the page as Dorothea Brooke weds and then is widowed by the miserable Reverend Casaubon, whose cousin, Will Ladislaw, has developed feelings for the forbidden Dorothea. Full of a brilliant cast of characters, Middlemarch is the story of small-town life and the large dreams contained within.

3. Little Women

by Louisa May Alcott

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Four sisters — Meg, Jo, Beth and Amy — live in genteel poverty and befriend a wealthy boy, Laurie, while the Civil War is under way. Home and family are central themes in the charming Little Women, as the sisters grow up and face love, loss and other realities of adulthood.

4. Jane Eyre

by Charlotte Brontë

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Orphaned and unloved, Jane Eyre becomes a governess to the ward of the imposing Mr. Rochester and falls into a heady relationship with her employer. Dripping with gothic atmosphere, it's a rags-to-riches story with a tragic twist.

5. Wuthering Heights

by Emily Brontë

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Heathcliff is adopted into Catherine's family, and the two become inseparable until Catherine marries her neighbor, setting off a family feud that destroys lives and breaks hearts. A story within a story, Charlotte Brontë's sister spins a tale you will either love or hate but should definitely read.

More: 5 Dystopian books that are too close to reality for comfort

6. Anne of Green Gables

by L.M. Montgomery

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Redheaded Anne Shirley is an orphan whose mischievous energy by turns annoys and amuses her new family and neighbors on Prince Edward Island. Seizing the poetic beauty of everyday life, Anne of Green Gables paints a picture of the triumphs and sorrows of childhood.

7. North and South

by Elizabeth Cleghorn Gaskell

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Margaret Hale is forced to confront the Industrial Revolution when her family moves to the north of England, where she clashes with a mill owner and befriends a family of workers. Too often overlooked, North and South explores changing times and the relationships that arise.

8. A Little Princess

by Frances Hodgson Burnett

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Sara Crewe is the darling of Miss Minchin's boarding school until it is discovered her father has died, leaving her penniless. A Little Princess is about staying true to who you are no matter your circumstances — a beautiful reminder for women of all ages.

9. The Awakening

by Kate Chopin

Image: Amazon

When wife and mother Edna Pontellier falls in love on vacation, a new world of independence open ups to her, but the cost of pursuing this new life is high. Thought provoking and ahead of its time, The Awakening examines what it's like to go against society yet still crave a place in its order.

10. The House of Mirth

by Edith Wharton

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Lily Bart is on a downward spiral as scandal envelopes her every move and the people who once cared for her leave her life. The House of Mirth is a moving reminder of the power society wields and how easy it is to fall from its graces.

11. The Secret Garden

by Frances Hodgson Burnett

Image: Amazon

Spoiled orphan Mary Lennox is sent to live at her uncle's house and finds a source of happiness when she discovers the walled-off garden that was the scene of a family tragedy. Brimming with hope and possibilities, The Secret Garden is a tribute to positive thinking and the joy found in nature and friendship.

12. Persuasion

by Jane Austen

Image: Amazon

Anne Elliot was persuaded out of an engagement to Frederick Wentworth years earlier, and when circumstances reunite them, his disinterest seems to prove all is lost until an accident changes everything. With quiet beauty, Persuasion unfolds a thoughtful tale of second chances and contains one of the most romantic love letters in literature.

More: 10 Reasons Downton Abbey continues to be the best show on television

Weekly horoscopes: Feb. 15–21

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Weekly love horoscopes: Feb. 15–21

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ARIES (March 19 - April 18)
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Take it easy on yourself from Feb. 18 to March 18. This is when you are most likely to fall off that diet, max out the credit cards or go back to that guy you know is no good for you. We say that self-sabotage stems from having a poor self-image or a fear of success, but it's actually more about comfort zones. It feels safer to be overweight, underpaid or saddled with a loser. Rest assured that these behavioral patterns are changing, but they take time. Right now it's less about willpower and discipline, and more about reassurance and compassion.

Next: Taurus horoscope

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TAURUS (April 19 - May 19)
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The worst thing a friend can do is ask to borrow something. This sends a chill through your soul. And it's not because you're tightfisted; it's just that you suffer separation anxiety whenever you have to part with any of your belongings. You'd rather buy a friend what they want than let a beloved possession out of your sight. This tendency of yours will be changing over the next four weeks. Maybe it's others' charity, fellowship or philanthropic spirit that inspires you. In any case, you don't have to become a socialist to embrace the spirit of sharing and caring.

Next: Gemini horoscope

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GEMINI (May 20 - June 19)
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The sun enters your solar midheaven on Feb. 18. This means that you will be playing for high stakes in business over the next four weeks. The midheaven is the most public of all astrology's houses, so it pays to focus on the way that you want to come across to higher-ups and the powers that be. What you say and do will affect your prestige, status and credibility. It's also a good time to update your power wardrobe. Your credit card may groan at the idea, but remember: You have to look a million if you want to make a million.

Next: Cancer horoscope

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CANCER (June 20 - July 21)
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You know what it's like to feel preyed upon in a highly predatory world. It's why you've learned to camouflage your vulnerabilities like sympathy, empathy and compassion. It could even be argued that you've become too good at hiding your soft underbelly. This is something that will become evident on Feb. 18 when you recognize an adversary's brusque demeanor as eerily resembling your own. Put out feelers and see what happens. You may be surprised to discover that the person you assumed to be an adversary is an ally instead. This creates a bond where once there was a barrier.

Next: Leo horoscope

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LEO (July 22 - Aug. 21)
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Right now you have to help carry somebody else's burden. Maybe it's an out-of-work spouse, a depressed loved one or a financially strapped relative. The sun, your ruler, will be passing through that part of your solar chart that pertains to other people's business for the next four weeks. This means it's up to you to help them sort out their emotional baggage. Even if the problems are financial, the money spending (or hoarding) is psychologically motivated. Do what you can to shine some light into those dark corners and you'll help this person turn his life around.

Next: Virgo horoscope

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VIRGO (Aug. 22 - Sept. 21)
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You're entering a period when you can have it all. The promise may seem groundless, but it doesn't have to be if you embrace the spirit of adventure. As a Virgo you tend to pigeonhole yourself. Identifying your niche where you can show yourself off has always been your formula for success, but now that formula has grown formulaic. The stars show that you are capable of so much more if you're willing to leave behind familiar expectations and journey beyond the landmarks. You won't fall off the edge of the earth; you'll discover a brave new world instead.

Next: Libra horoscope

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LIBRA (Sept. 22 - Oct. 21)
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You would jump into the fray if you could, but you can't. And it's probably just as well because what this person really needs to do is learn to help himself. What you can do is listen, act as a sounding board and impart the measured and sage advice that Libras are so famous for giving. Remember the old adage: Give a man a fish and he eats for a day, but teach a man to fish and he'll eat forever? Preach this gospel of self-sufficiency and you will be the best friend that anyone could hope to have.

Next: Scorpio horoscope

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SCORPIO (Oct. 22 - Nov. 20)
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Never underestimate the power of speaking from the heart. It's more persuasive than you know. After years of slights, bites and spites, you've acquired a thick hide. And there's nothing wrong with that because that's what happens when you've been through the gauntlet as many times as you have. But there comes a time when the armor becomes the skin and it isn't so easy to remove. This is something that will become abundantly clear when the sun enters Pisces on Feb. 18. This is your chance to lose that tough outer exterior and show the real you underneath.

Next: Sagittarius horoscope

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SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 21 -Dec. 20)
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It makes perfect sense to feel like you're out of your depth while the sun is in Pisces (Feb. 18 to March 18). Weeks ago everything seemed so clear-cut, but now you'll feel at sea. You're probably wondering if things will ever be the same again. The answer is no, and that's a good thing actually. What you need to do is let yourself go with the flow and trust that the current of events will take you to where you need to go. It won't be where you would have gone given your druthers, but it's where you need to be.

Next: Capricorn horoscope

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CAPRICORN (Dec. 21 - Jan. 19)
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You're going to have to make the switch from left-brain to right-brain thinking when the sun moves into watery Pisces on Feb. 18. As a Capricorn, you tend to be down-to-earth in your mindset and results oriented. The sun in Pisces isn't like that. It's more associative in its thought process, which is why people born under Pisces make such great painters, poets and lyricists. It won't be easy, but it looks like you'll be working on your emotional intelligence over the next few weeks. Give it a try. You could do with being more empathetic, sympathetic and imaginative.

Next: Aquarius horoscope

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AQUARIUS (Jan. 20 - Feb. 17)
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You shouldn't be laying out money on anyone's behalf during the time that Neptune is strong (Feb. 18-28). If you do then you could find yourself seriously out-of-pocket. Neptune is the planet of illusion, which means that you may be doing business with people who are under the false impression that they are more solvent than is the case. You don't want to be left holding the bag when they find themselves overdrawn or overtaxed. Make a point to not move on anything until all the money's securely in the bank and there will be no surprises.

Next: Pisces horoscope

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PISCES (Feb. 18 - March 18)
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You don't have to make any big decisions yet, but you can tell you're approaching a crossroads in your life and that you will soon be changing course. The beauty of being born under the zodiac sign of the fish is that you are preternaturally sensitive to the subtle shift in currents. It's the very thing that allows you to go with the flow and avoid the about-faces, rude awakenings and surprise upsets that bedevil so many people. Trust in the transition that you know is taking place and it will be easy as much as it will be graceful.

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Weekly love horoscopes: Feb. 15 – Feb. 21

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ARIES (March 19 - April 18)
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This is a good week to rifle through that psychic closet of yours in search of certain assumptions and expectations that may no longer suit you. Is your heart really still broken? Are all men pigs? Are you holding out for that special someone or are you just using that as an excuse to keep somebody else at bay? You may think that these ideas still apply, but try them on and see if they fit. You may find that you outgrew these notions a long time ago and that they've gone the way of flip phones and boy bands.

Next: Taurus horoscope

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TAURUS (April 19 - May 19)
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Can you do better? That's what you'll be wondering these next 3-1/2 weeks as ruling planet Venus crosses over your solar midheaven. Named after the Roman goddess of love and beauty, Venus is all about marrying up. OK. Maybe you're not that mercenary, but you want a winner, not a whiner. If you're attached to someone who's ambitious and driven, then you're doing great. Things will only get better. However, if you're bankrolling some coffee house guitar playing dude, then you'll be kicking him to the curb soon. Why settle for a baristo when you can go for the big bucks?

Next: Gemini horoscope

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GEMINI (May 20 - June 19)
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Venus enters that part of your solar chart that pertains to long journeys and philosophical adventures on Feb. 16. If you're feeling like your love life is stalled, then book a trip to an exotic location that you've never been to before. A change of scenery often brings a change in energy and you may discover that you're much more popular abroad than at home. And if you can't get away? Then try something that broadens your horizons like a metaphysical workshop or a spiritual retreat. You could connect to a like-minded soul searching for the same answers that you are.

Next: Cancer horoscope

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CANCER (June 20 - July 21)
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This is not the week to make promises because you may not be able to keep them. It's hard to imagine that you could be on the brink of getting what you want in a relationship only to hesitate. Loved ones and friends might say it's because once you get what you want you don't want it anymore, but there's more. As a Cancer, you respond viscerally to the seismic vibrations of any eclipse and the solar eclipse on March 8 promises to alter the course of your life path. You know that which is why you'll wait and see.

Next: Leo horoscope

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LEO (July 22 - Aug. 21)
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You don't do well when you feel beholden to anyone. A big part of you wants to be treated like a queen (what Leo woman doesn't want that?), but there's a price to pay since monarchies aren't exactly what they used to be. Even the British royal family has to account for their expenses nowadays. Venus in Aquarius on Feb. 16 says you can't have it both ways. If you want to be worshiped, then be more appreciative of your fan base, and if you want true equality, then climb down off that pedestal and start bringing home more bacon.

Next: Virgo horoscope

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VIRGO (Aug. 22 - Sept. 21)
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You hate to burst your loved one's bubble, but what are you supposed to do when he comes to you with another harebrained scheme? Sometimes it feels like he wants you to play the bad guy. That's one way of looking at it. Another is that you may have cast each other to play certain roles in your relationship: He's the dreamer and you're the realist. These don't have to conflict. They could even be a creative collaboration. Help him to make his dreams a reality and he'll show you a reality that's richer than anything you could have dreamed of.

Next: Libra horoscope

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LIBRA (Sept. 22 - Oct. 21)
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You've had it with partners — both the romantic and professional ones — cramping your style. They don't seem to understand that a relationship is made up of three parts: you, him and the relationship itself. When you speak about doing what's right for the relationship, you're not saying that you'll defer to your partner. Your willingness to do what it takes to make your relationship work shouldn't be misinterpreted as self-sacrifice or giving your partner carte blanche to do whatever he pleases. Venus in Aquarius from Feb. 16 to March 12 will clear channels and help to re-establish the balance between you.

Next: Scorpio horoscope

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SCORPIO (Oct. 22 - Nov. 20)
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Just because things take place behind closed doors doesn't mean that you can't talk about what's up. You were born under the most secretive sign of the zodiac. People come to you with their problems all the time and they tell you things that they would never tell anyone else. But who do you go to with your worries and your concerns? Thankfully Venus' stay in Aquarius (Feb. 16 – March 12) shows you reaching out to friends again and bringing them back into your confidence. This will do a lot to help lighten the emotional load that you've been carrying.

Next: Sagittarius horoscope

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SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 21 -Dec. 20)
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For someone who's always dreamt of a happy family, it's amazing how far away you are from that right now. Perhaps you're stubbornly single, unhappy in your relationship or abandoned by kids who have flown to different zip codes. The question isn't how you got here, it's where do you want to go from here? The sun entering that part of your solar chart that pertains to family will raise uncomfortable questions over the next four weeks. The truths are unflattering and the facts may be damning, but making peace with each moves you a step closer to the true home you seek.

Next: Capricorn horoscope

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CAPRICORN (Dec. 21 - Jan. 19)
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Venus leaves your zodiac sign on Feb. 16. A lot of things have happened in your love life since Venus entered Capricorn last month. You are probably no longer single and you may even feel cautiously optimistic now that it feels like you've found the love of your life. If you're already married, then the past few weeks (though not always easy) have brought you two even closer together. Capricorn isn't regarded as one of the great romantic signs of the zodiac, but even curmudgeonly goats have been known to turn over a new leaf when Venus works her magic.

Next: Aquarius horoscope

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AQUARIUS (Jan. 20 - Feb. 17)
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You may notice that the guys are really checking you out this week. At first you may turn around to see if they're looking at someone else. Or you might wonder if maybe you haven't gotten some food stuck between your teeth, but rest assured that they're looking at you. This is what happens when you have Venus, the planet of love and beauty, traveling through your zodiac sign. Venus turns you into a walking, talking man magnet. It's great if you're single; awkward if you're not. In any case, enjoy it while it lasts which is through March 12.

Next: Pisces horoscope

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PISCES (Feb. 18 - March 18)
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You're every guy's favorite person to talk to about their girlfriend troubles, but are you the person they think of when they think of love? Probably not. This is when playing mother confessor works against your romantic interests by turning you into a wallflower. If you find yourself playing the "friend" with someone you're attracted to, then it's time to take the plunge on Feb. 19 and tell him what you feel. You may discover that he's had feelings for you all along but that he kept those feelings to himself because he didn't think you felt the same way.

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Downton Abbey's Lady Mary may never find happiness thanks to Matthew

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More: Downton Abbey's Carson is officially the most infuriating character ever

Alongside her family and some of the Downton staff, Mary attended Henry's car race. As fans expected, she was beyond nervous and worried for Henry's life. Since her first love and husband, Matthew, died in a car accident, it makes complete sense why she isn't 100 percent OK with Henry's love of racing.

Unfortunately, Sunday's race resulted in a fiery car wreck. Immediately, bad thoughts invaded Mary's head and heart. She rushed to the scene of the accident to find that it wasn't Henry who crashed but his good friend Charlie, who also died.

It was shocking and saddening for everyone in attendance, but especially for Henry, who lost a dear friend. The events also led to a distraught Mary rethinking her relationship with Henry. Can she really be with someone who risks his life day in and day out? Will she be able to cope every day knowing that Henry might die in a car accident? She already lost her first great love, so if it happened with Henry, can Mary deal with that all over again?

More: 4 Times Downton Abbey's Branson was spot-on with his relationship advice

Henry and Mary
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Mary's already felt so much pain and loss (not just with Matthew, but also with her sister, Sybil), she's not sure that she can handle anymore grief. Can you really blame her? As she told Henry, she doesn't want him to give up his passion of car racing because she has issue with it. At this time, Mary's not sure she can be with him. It appears the two are done for good, and not even Branson could convince Mary otherwise about Henry.

It's clear that Mary is in love with Henry, but giving herself entirely to someone and living in fear, well, that's a big life decision. So, is Matthew to blame for Mary possibly never finding love again? I don't think "blame" is the right word, but it's clear that Matthew will forever be a part of Mary — and rightfully so. Not to mention, his death and the car accident will always somewhat haunt her, which is to be expected. I'm sure many would feel the same as Mary and understand exactly where she's coming from.

Obviously, Matthew and his unexpected death are influencing Mary greatly when it comes to settling down, especially regarding Henry. He is the first man she can really see a future with, but also one that scares her.

Even though it seems like Mary is moving on from Henry, I don't think it's truly over. They clearly care for each other too much to give up on one another. Plus, it's the final season of Downton Abbey. Would the series really end without Mary finding some type of closure with Henry? That's not to say they will marry, but I have a feeling this isn't the last fans have seen of Mary and Henry.

Mary and Matthew
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Downton Abbey airs Sundays at 9/8c on PBS.

More: Downton Abbey's surprise guest paves the way for an emotional final season

Real Housewives of Dallas star responds to porn allegations

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Page Six reported that RHOD star Tiffany Hendra was involved in pornography in the past under her maiden name Tiffany Bolton.

More: RHOBH's Kathryn Edwards sparks outrage over entitled behavior

Hendra is speaking up and setting the record straight.

"I'm seeing all the porn allegations and Page Six. It cracks me up actually," she told The Real Mr. Housewife. "I would never do porn!"

Hendra went on to explain what sort of acting roles she has done in the past.

"I was a lead in a 13 episode HBO/Cinemax series. It's on my IMDB. So what I showed my tits and had love scenes, but what actress hasn't. I did that series before I was married and it's part of my journey," Hendra revealed. "I own it."

The actress also had regular spots on FX's The X Show, Comedy Central's Beat the Geeks and NBC's Spy TV.

More: RHOBH's Lisa Rinna and Yolanda Foster take their heated feud to Twitter

However, The Daily Mail is reporting Hendra appeared in more racy onscreen projects than just Black Tie Nights on Cinemax. Hendra also appeared in adult films Singapore Sling and 12 Hot Women.

But Hendra must not be too embarrassed about those projects, because they are also both listed on her IMDB page. We love that Hendra is owning up to her sexy onscreen past. You go, girl!

More: Brandi Glanville has a nasty nickname for Lisa Vanderpump

Hendra worked as an actress, TV host and model in Los Angeles for 15 years before moving back to her home state of Texas in hopes of being closer to her family, according to her RHOD cast bio.

Hendra has been married to her Australian rocker husband, Aaron, for 12 years. Her passions include helping less fortunate children — specifically working with Angels of East Africa, an organization dedicated to the rescue and restoration of orphaned children in need — as well as working on her lifestyle blog and YouTube channel, Sanctuary of Style, where she has over 18,000 YouTube subscribers.

We can't wait to get to know Hendra and the other RHOD ladies when the show premieres on Bravo on April 11.

Before you go, check out our slideshow below.

rhod housewives slideshow
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My breastfeeding story doesn't always get the response I'm looking for

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When I talk about breastfeeding, I don't normally bring up how long I nursed my son for (unless asked directly). I find that when someone finds out that I breastfed him until he was 3, a few reactions tend to happen. The first is that the person I'm speaking with — usually a new mom — immediately clams up, either because she is shocked and disgusted by this revelation or because she feels bad because she either didn't breastfeed at all or did so for only a short amount of time.

More: Moms' raw breastfeeding photo series is anything but glamorous

However, when I share this tidbit about my parenting, to me it's no more informative than saying my son walked at 10 months but didn't cut his first tooth until well past a year old. It is just another milestone for us, and it certainly doesn't make me any worse or any better than the next mother. (And trust me when I say that now, at 9, you can't look at my son and know how long he was breastfed for.)

We've attached so much importance to how we feed our children that mothers on both sides of the aisle (and those who straddle it!) continuously find themselves feeling shamed or judged for their choices.

Of course feeding our children is important — I don't mean to come off flippant in that regard. But the importance of how we feed them has gotten out of hand. And I say this as someone who is well aware of the multitude of benefits of breastfeeding for both mother and baby, agrees that breast is best when it works for the family and yes, as someone who breastfed her child until age 3.

I wish I could talk about my breastfeeding experience without the worry of offending someone or inadvertently making someone feel guilty. I wish I could talk about the idea of milk banks and how we should make them more prevalent, accessible and affordable, without someone feeling shamed because they didn't want to use one. I wish we could talk about issues that impact low breastfeeding rates without someone thinking I'm making a personal dig. Just like with other hot mothering topics (that is, C-sections and birth), there has to be a way to discuss this topic without people feeling personally attacked.

More: Moms keep getting the C-section conversation all wrong

But what way is that? Because it is so personal, and everyone's experience is different. Breastfeeding has to do with our children and their nutrition, sure. But it also has to do with our bodies and choices surrounding that. In an ideal world, new mothers would be able to be well informed about the benefits of breastfeeding, feel supported in every way possible (from education to paid maternity leave to access to lactation consultants and providers who are well-versed in current research and information regarding breastfeeding) and then make a decision based on that. Ideally it would lead to less judgment and guilt.

We're not there yet, unfortunately. And anytime there's an initiative to promote breastfeeding, there is always some pushback against it because bottle-feeding moms feel attacked. So, can we promise one another something? When I talk about breastfeeding and its benefits, it's not an attack against you if you didn't breastfeed (for whatever reason!), and when you talk about formula use, I won't jump down your throat, telling you all the things you could have done that won't help after the fact. And maybe, just maybe, if we start on the micro-level between friends, we can grow this understanding to the point where this "debate" puts itself to sleep.

More: Breastfeeding mom shares special moment with orangutan

I'm married to a Marine, so why do I feel like a single mom?

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Eight years ago, when my husband dropped to one knee and proposed inside a Massachusetts Olive Garden, I had no clue this feeling was part of the package. In my house there’s crying for pacifiers, dirty diapers, dried Play-Doh, formula stains, two shedding German shepherds, more screaming over baby carrots that look “Broken! All broken!” and only one parent, because Daddy is still working. Or he’s sleeping so he can go to work.

More: The seriously strange things parents do to show how much they love their kids

“Mommy. Mommy? Mommy! Here, please,” my son insists while shoving for the 100th time his favorite Godzilla DVD in my face while I try to pee in peace. His reach is farther than I can extend my own arms. You see, here’s the other issue — I’m also physically challenged.

I was born with a rare form of dwarfism that would allow me to stand at only 36 inches tall. And despite successfully undergoing the controversial limb-lengthening procedures, gaining an unprecedented 14 inches (today I stand, instead, proudly at 4 feet 10 inches), I still endure the multitude of obstacles inherent to diastrophic dysplasia. Sure, I can reach the pedals in my car and drive, flick on a light switch, wash my hands without using a step stool and stock food in my pantry beyond the second shelf — all goals I dreamed of accomplishing in order to live a more independent life. But I will always endure chronic arthritis and severe joint pain. This makes motherhood even more stressful.

There are questions of every degree that devastate me: How will I mow the lawn? What if one of my kids becomes sick? What if I’m sick? A friend of mine says not having her husband around a lot is a piece of cake for her and her children. She can change all the lightbulbs in the home, grill their dinner steaks to perfection and — damn it! — doesn’t need a man to open any jar in her pantry. For me, not having Daddy around the house is less about who will take out the trash and bring the kids to school and more about having support.

More: Video of mom getting 4 babies ready for bed leaves the Internet exhausted

Being a military mom reminds me of that Johnny Cash song "When the Man Comes Around." In the Marine Corps there’s a man who goes by the name The Monitor, and hell often follows with him. He determines which Marine will receive orders to go and who is allowed to stay. Not every family is treated the same. There are no trumpets, no pipers, nor are there multitudes marching to a big kettle drum, but the hairs on my arms do stand up when that proverbial golden letter of change is delivered. It means I’m on my own to mend every single broken carrot and play mutant monster movies.

Sometimes I wonder, would it be easier to really be a single mother? If I wasn’t married, the void would be certain. Definite. Accepting to go through life with just my children rather than going through life with someone who loves us but cannot be with us seems, in many ways, simpler. I’d be able to replace the feelings of upset, helplessness and sadness with a sense of empowerment — men of the world be damned! And I wouldn’t have to lie to my older one, Titan. There are things I just can’t admit to: Daddy will not be back before we know it. Daddy’s job is not safe. And I hate it when Daddy puts the country’s needs before our own.

The other night I helped my husband gather his gear, clothes and other items for shipment. Titan poked his head into our bedroom and sweetly asked in his tiny voice, “Daddy, where you going?”

“Daddy’s getting ready to go to work,” I said bitterly. Ty, as we sometimes call him, left the room and then returned holding that damn Godzilla DVD. He placed it in the pile of stuff Eric and I collected. Eric sighed and said, “You’re lucky. You get to watch this with him anytime you want. I envy you, babe.” His words made me pause. He envies me?

Holidays. Birthdays. Doctor’s visits, checkups, gymnastics, T-ball and everything in between — I’ve been so consumed with concerns about enduring these days that I never stopped to think about what it would be like to miss them. Yes, my husband will be unable to help for many of the rough patches parenthood tosses my way. But he will also miss a chunk of the memorable milestones that make parenthood worthwhile too. I may feel like a single mom, but at least I still feel like a mom. My husband feels needed as a Marine, but he battles with feeling needed as a father. And that’s more important than any pity party I could throw myself while he’s away.

More: 7 Things the Gilmore Girls taught us about motherhood (GIFs)

Later, we made popcorn and finally watched Ty’s movie. He insisted on placing every toy dinosaur he owns on the couch with us. I looked over at Eric. He barely had any room to sit. Still he had a gigantic smile. It filled me with so much warmth and joy. Even if for a brief moment, I was complete. It brought me back to my mom’s statement: "You knew what you were getting into when you married him." No, I really didn’t know this feeling was part of the package.

Dad shares the sweet secret to getting his baby to sleep (WATCH)

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More: Sweet lullaby dad wrote for his baby goes viral (WATCH)

He recently uploaded a video to his BeardedPiano YouTube channel, showing him with his baby son Sam strapped to his chest in a BabyBjörn carrier as he sits at his keyboard. After the clip was posted to Reddit with the caption "A beard, a baby, and a bedtime", it’s gone viral — for one simple reason.

It’s insanely adorable.

"Brahms 'Lullaby' has always been a favorite of mine," BearderPiano captioned his video. "So when last night baby Sam was having a difficult time sleeping due to an earache [sic], I thought I'd take an impromptu attempt at playing Brahms 'Lullaby' to see if he would fall asleep. Here was the result ..."

More: Dad lets his 4-year-old give him an adorable new tattoo

Check out little Sam nodding off to sleep to the sound of Brahms 'Lullaby' below.

BeardedPiano video

BeardedPiano video

More: Viral video of 'alien baby' moving in mum's womb is a fascinating reminder

12 times Adele crushed millennial stereotypes

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Just the word “millennial” conjures up so many negative stereotypes. We’ve heard that they are entitled, self-involved, praise-hungry trophy seekers who can’t get off their smartphones long enough to do anything important. While those labels are mostly unfair and untrue, sometimes they are right on target. (Lindsay Lohan, Khloé Kardashian and the Olsen twins come to mind.)

Kendall and Kylie Jenner say they don’t remember not being famous, while Paris Hilton laments to her fans that if you want everything she has in life, you’re "going to have to work, yourself, just like I did."

If you were born between 1981 and 1996, might I suggest using an Adele photo as your wallpaper to remind you that millennials can also be super cool, with some next-level awesomeness.

1. That time Karl Lagerfeld tried to fat-shame Adele and she wasn’t having it

You would think that as the creative director of Chanel, Fendi and his own label, Karl Lagerfeld would understand women. But dumbass that he is, he showed his true colors when he told Metro US that Adele is "a little too fat, but she has a beautiful face." Adele didn’t start a Twitter war or bash him in a song; instead, she responded calmly, simply saying, "I’ve never wanted to look like models on the cover of magazines. I represent the majority of women and I’m very proud of that."

2. Adele won’t endorse products

Oh, she’s been offered many. "They wanted me to be the face of a car. Toys. Apps. Candles. It’s, like, I don’t want to endorse a line of nail varnishes, but thanks for asking." This is very anti-millennial, since they love nothing more than to have their faces everywhere

3. She won’t use Auto-Tune

Adele’s manager says that she has a very "sorry not sorry," "f*** you" attitude when it comes to using Auto-Tune. She simply won’t do it. Many famous young singers like Katy Perry, Lady Gaga and even Glee stars use the software to correct their singing voices so that their pitch and key is utter perfection. Adele won’t use Auto-Tune since she doesn’t want to sound robotic — she'd rather sound authentic.

More: Adele's Live in New York City delivers tear-jerking performance (VIDEO)

4. A private gig for the 1-percenters? I don’t think so

The image of a money-hungry millennial trying to be a billionaire by 30, or at least land on the Forbes Highest-paid Celebrities list is not at all a goal for Adele. Leave that to Beyoncé and Taylor Swift, since Adele won’t do the quick-and-dirty money gigs for the 1-percenters just to pad her bank account. She has standards that money can’t buy. "A million pounds to sing at your birthday party?" Adele tells The Guardian, "I'd rather do it for free if I’m doing it."

5. No diva behavior here

Her only scandal was that BRIT Awards thing. Pop stars usually have one scandal after another (I’m looking at you, Justin Bieber). But in the midst of her acceptance speech for British Album of the Year, the BRIT Awards' most prestigious prize, her buddy and host James Corden was sent up there to shut it down because the show was running long. When he came to collect her and help her offstage, she half-jokingly flipped the bird. Realizing what she did, she apologized immediately, prompting fans to defend her and criticize the producers. The BRIT Awards people ended up apologizing to her publicly.

6. Not even close to ready for her moment

Adele 2009 Grammys win

Adele 2009 Grammys win

You know how every unknown millennial has their Insta game on fleek and is ready at any given second to walk a red carpet or accept an award for nothing in particular? Well, Adele never got that memo. In 2009, during her first Grammy win, she didn’t even have her shoes on, her belt was undone and she had prepared nothing to say. This all spoke volumes about her genuinely kind and non-millennial soul.

7. Adele doesn’t just work, she works hard

Adele has been at every meeting concerning her career since she started. Not only is it common for artists to sit it out and let their business folk do everything for them, the last place a 20-something pop star wants to be is in some meeting with a bunch of suits. Then there's the dozens of pop stars who are just hired hands, singers who let others write and produce everything they do. Their only job is to record and then collect a paycheck. Adele writes and collaborates on every song she’s ever done and is very involved with her career. Let’s not forget that at 23, while Adele was pregnant with her son Angelo, she co-wrote the theme song for "Skyfall" and won an Oscar.

8. She gave her son a person’s name so he doesn't end up an entitled d-bag

That whole celebrity weird-name trend is about total entitlement. Yes, we get it, you’re special, your kid is special and you are unique beyond words. Yawn. Now can you tell me why you spelled it "Kyd" and "Pilot Inspektor"? Adele named her son Angelo because she’s humble and wants him to be a regular kid; and, no, she won't tell you why she named him that. It’s none of your business.

9. She makes being a basic biatch cool

While most millennials are thinking about student loan debt, battery life and Game of Thrones, Adele doesn’t care about anything that most of us do. She says she was not able to find meaning in fame or even her music. She tells Vogue that what makes her feel significant is way more basic: "When I became a parent, I felt like I was truly living. I had a purpose, where before I didn’t."

10. It isn’t all about her

Adele Carpool Karaoke

Adele Carpool Karaoke

When Adele nailed the Nicki verse from Kanye’s "Monster" during a recent "Carpool Karaoke" on The Late Late Show, and then didn’t miss a lyric on the Spice Girls’ "Wannabe," it showed how much she loves and respects the genre of music to which she belongs. She has co-written with Bruno Mars, Ryan Tedder, Danger Mouse, Sia and Wiz Khalifa. She’s no snob, and immediately shot down rumors that she dissed Queen Bey while also complimenting other singers to whom she’s been compared. She will dole out the compliments and it takes nothing away from who she is as a woman or a star.

More: 7 times Adele was all of us during James Corden's "Carpool Karaoke" (VIDEO)

11. She is a level of humble that we wish all millennials shared

Most obnoxious pop stars never miss an opportunity to plug an album or a project they’re working on, or to namedrop their famous friends. Adele never misses an opportunity to show her gratitude to her fans. During any interview, Adele will always say something like, "I'm only touring for the fans, to see the people that changed my life." Or like during her Radio City Music Hall concert (after several years), she told the audience through tears, "I've honestly missed you all so much."

Adele's sold-out North American tour kicks off July 5 in Saint Paul, Minnesota. If you don’t have tickets and you want to go, plan on paying upwards of $2,425 per ticket.

12. Adele will get off social media sooner than you can say "selfie"

Look, Adele isn’t made of stone. She enjoys social media from time to time like any person of her generation, but don’t bother liking or friending her while she’s creating. She knows how to bounce herself off of it when she has to write and promote her albums. "How am I supposed to write a real record if I’m waiting for half a million likes on a f***ing photo? That ain’t real." Adele adds that, unlike some of her fellow pop icons, she won’t bombard you with endless promotion on social media. She says that type of overexposure only kills the momentum. "When you have a six-month build up, don’t expect me to be there the day your album comes out, because I'm bored. It doesn't matter how amazing it is."

More: Adele's gym picture sums up how we all feel about fitness right now (PHOTO)

Before you go, check out our slideshow below.

grammys 2016 performers slideshow
Image: NBC

14 best tweets in celebration of #SinglesAwarenessDay

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Fortunately someone thought of a way to make Valentine’s Day friendly to all humankind, not just the people who are coupled up. You may have noticed a “dark horse” trending on Facebook on Feb. 14 — a new little holiday called Singles Awareness Day that is just as rad as it sounds.

More: 8 dating tips from an ex-crazy single girl

It’s not an official holiday yet (and Hallmark has yet to get on board), but Singles Awareness Day, now celebrated on Feb. 14 or 15, is shaping up to be the next big thing. Being single is a more-than-valid life choice, with single adults now outnumbering married adults in the U.S., and it’s high time there was a holiday to prove it.

More: Many couples think singles are the ones having more fun on Valentine's Day

As if you needed another great reason to rock on with your solo self, here are some of the best tweets in celebration of #SinglesAwarenessDay this year:

1. Because Jerry Maguire had it all wrong

Singles Awareness Day 1

Singles Awareness Day 1

2. Because you know your worth

Singles Awareness Day 2

Singles Awareness Day 2

3. Because chicks before… you know

Singles Awareness Day 3

Singles Awareness Day 3

More: The real reasons smart, beautiful women are still single

4. Burrito wins out over baby every time

Singles Awareness Day 4

Singles Awareness Day 4

5. It helps when you remember that Valentine’s Day is just a social construct

Singles Awareness Day 5

Singles Awareness Day 5

Next Up: More #SinglesAwarenessDay tweets

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6. No one ever said being #ForeverAlone was a bad thing

Singles Awareness Day 6

Singles Awareness Day 6

7. This is the kind of love that just don’t quit

Singles Awareness Day 7

Singles Awareness Day 7

8. Did you really need an excuse to treat yo’ self?

Singles Awareness Day 8

Singles Awareness Day 8

9. When you only have to look out for number one

Singles Awareness Day 9

Singles Awareness Day 9

10. Single by choice

Singles Awareness Day 10

Singles Awareness Day 10

Next Up: More #SinglesAwarenessDay tweets

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11. Taken as a compliment

Singles Awareness Day 11

Singles Awareness Day 11

12. We’ll drink to that!

Singles Awareness Day 12

Singles Awareness Day 12

13. What are you trying to imply…?

Singles Awareness Day 13

Singles Awareness Day 13

14. Case closed

Singles Awareness Day 14

Singles Awareness Day 14

Saintly baby names for girls

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These beautiful names were held by real saints over the course of history, and there are many gorgeous choices. Some we're very familiar with, like Abigail and Mary, but there are other more unusual alternatives to look over if traditional names aren't your style.

MorePerfect baby girl names straight from Pixar's best movies

Whether or not you're motivated by religion or you're taking in as many baby names as possible as you fill out your own list, there are quite a few different types of baby names reflected in these venerable options. From names that you'll find on modern baby birth certificates like Lucy or Sofia, to names from your favorite Harry Potter movies like Hedwig and Hermione, to some really great examples of beauty like Adela and Zita, to some classic monikers that are coming back into style like Beatrix and Jean, you're sure to find a few names to ponder as you make that incredibly important choice before or shortly after you have your baby girl.

saintly names for girls
Image: Getty Images; Graphics: Becci Burkhart/SheKnows

Rory Feek shares a kiss with Joey on Valentine's Day (PHOTO)

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More: Joey Feek shares tender moment with daughter on Valentine's Day (PHOTO)

Rory Feek posted a sweet photo to the country music duo's Facebook page Sunday, showing him tenderly kissing his wife, Joey, in her home hospital bed, with an extravagant dinner laid out on a tray across her lap. The tray is covered in flowers, drink cups adorned with dancing hearts and a platter of sushi, as Rory, wearing his trademark overalls and a pink rose boutonniere, leans over to kiss Joey, who wears a matching corsage.

Joey and Rory Valentine's Day

Joey and Rory Valentine's Day

Joey is currently in home hospice care as she nears the end of her battle with terminal cervical cancer. Just days before the holiday, Rory wrote a long entry on his blog, detailing his plans for his final Valentine's Day with his wife of 13 years.

"What I really want to do on this, our 14th Valentines together, is share a romantic candle-lit dinner with my bride: grill out rib-eyes on the campfire back home, pour two glasses of red wine and sit across from her at our kitchen table – just like we’ve done on more than one special occasion. But those things aren’t able to happen this year," [sic] he wrote.

He continued, "Neither Joey, nor I, have laid eyes on our farmhouse back in Tennessee since the middle of October. On top of that, Joey’s illness hasn’t allowed her to be able to eat much of anything for some time now and she sleeps most of the days and nights away. So my hope this year instead is to hold her hand and take her on a ‘virtual’ walk down memory lane together… with pictures and videos on my laptop. I want to take her back to where our lives first began together, and relive this beautiful journey that God has taken us on… from that first song she heard me sing at the Bluebird cafe, to the last one we sang together as we stood on stage and took our final bow… to the songs that she will leave behind here on earth and the ones she will soon sing for eternity to our sweet Lord in that heavenly choir up yonder. A trip down memory lane together…That, and I’m hoping for a few soft kisses. The passion for each other that Joey and I once had has been replaced by the sweetest, gentlest kisses. I live for those kisses. They are enough." [sic]

From the looks of things, Rory got his Valentine's wish.

More: Rory Feek's heartbreaking post is testament to the love he and Joey share

How did you celebrate Valentine's Day? Let us know down in the comments.

Teen Mom's Maci Bookout surprises fans with baby announcement (PHOTO)

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Teen Mom star Bookout posted a super cute photo Sunday showing her and her fiancé Taylor McKinney cradling a very special Valentine: a baby bump. Yup, Bookout is pregnant again, with baby No 3.

Maci Bookout pregnancy announcement

Maci Bookout pregnancy announcement

"#makingmoremoneys," Bookout captioned the photo, referring to McKinney's nickname T-Money. "…baby boy coming soon! happy valentine's day! @tmon3yyy #lastbutnotleast"

More: Teen Mom's Jenelle Evans gears up for a major custody battle with her mom

Bookout gave the details of her surprise pregnancy — and yes, it was very much a surprise — to MTV News right before she posted her Instagram announcement.

"I found out I was pregnant with baby No. 3 right after we got engaged," she explained. "It was not expected or a planned pregnancy."

The couple announced their engagement in mid-January.

But she's not sweating it, because this is her third time at this rodeo.

"Because it's the third one, you know what's going on," she said. "You've been there, done that a couple times now, so it's sort of laid-back."

More: Teen Mom's Leah Messer makes a big relationship decision to benefit her kids

She went into more detail about cravings and the reactions of her older children, son Bentley and daughter Jayde.

"Cravings? I think the only thing that's kinda odd is pineapple," she said. "Other than that, I'm just hungry all the time. When Taylor found out that we were expecting again, he was excited. Annoyingly excited. And Bentley is really excited, from the beginning. He loves Jayde, but he's always wanted a little brother."

Bookout's new little one is due May 30, just a day after Jayde's first birthday.

We can't wait to see how this is covered on Teen Mom.

More: Farrah Abraham's war with Sophia's grandma blows up over kidnapping reports

Before you go, check out our slideshow below.

Farrah Abraham and 7 other Teen Mom stars then and now
Image: MTV

Brie Bella tells Nikki to put her health before her career (VIDEO)

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More: Nikki Bella shares adorable post-surgery pic with her pup (PHOTO)

Following Bella's surgery that fused together a number of disks in her spine, fans have been speculating about whether the injury was career-ending for the Divas champion.

As far as her twin sister, Brie Bella, is concerned, it should be.

In a new clip from Tuesday's episode of Total Divas, Brie can be seen giving Nikki some post-surgery advice, even though it probably isn't the advice Nikki wants to hear right now.

Brie Bella gives Nikki advice after her surgery

Brie Bella gives Nikki advice after her surgery

"I think your health is the most important and you should put that first," Brie says. "It's not about your next two weeks or your next two months or being the longest-reigning Divas champion. It's about your next 20 to 40 years and you feeling good, and your health."

She continues, "She needs to take care of her injury. If it was me, I would not sacrifice my body."

More: Nikki Bella gets "permission" from John Cena to have an important talk (VIDEO)

But Brie isn't the only one weighing in on Nikki's future post-surgery. The twins' mom, Kathy, also had some advice for Nikki, and it wasn't the same as what Brie had to say.

"Don't misunderstand me, but you will never have this accomplishment again of being the longest-running Diva," Kathy tells Nikki. "So find out what your doctor says, and then, if you can still wrestle with some adjustments in your style, then bam."

Nikki underwent the surgery in January, and estimated at the time that her recovery would have her sidelined for anywhere from a few weeks to six months. The new clip reveals that she's still struggling with pain in her neck, and needs to do stretching exercises to help relieve it.

More: Nikki Bella's successful surgery may still keep her away from the ring

Do you think Nikki Bella should return to her wrestling career? Sound off down in the comments.

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