Last year, I dated this man for a few months. He wasn't a bad man, but it turned out that we weren’t that compatible. Except, that’s not how I felt about him, at least at the beginning. Sure, there was a bit of new relationship energy, but I realized recently that my crush and following relationship with this man might have been due to another, more insidious phenomenon: excitation transfer.
I learned about this effect in a social psychology class, and as soon as I understood how it worked, my relationship with this man made sense. Because of this effect, I had pursued a relationship with a man that I didn’t like that much before… and I’ll tell you how it happened.
Let me start with an example. Imagine you’re planning a date with someone. It’s early in the relationship. Maybe you’ve been on one or two dates before. You like them, but you’re not really sure if it’s going to go anywhere. So this time, you decide to do something different: bungee jumping, maybe.
The date is exciting and fun. Your heart is racing, your adrenaline is pumping and you feel eerily close to your date as you walk away from the jumping area. You hold hands, laugh, maybe want to kiss. You might even feel turned on.
That, in a nutshell, is excitation transfer.
What’s happening in this scenario? Well, you might tell yourself, “I really connected with my date today. I think I want to do more with them, maybe bring them home with me tonight.” That’s part of what happened, sure. But another part, and the core of excitation transfer, is that you associated the physical arousal of bungee jumping to the person you went with. In other words, you think “this person turns me on” even though it’s really the activity that turns you on.
Not always a good thing!
People have intuitively known about this effect for a long time. The popularity of horror movies as date movies or driving very fast to impress your potential mate... there are many ways in which we’ve integrated excitation transfer into our dating lives.
Excitation transfer can be a good thing. It makes you feel connected and excited, and it can really get a relationship moving. It makes you feel attracted and makes you attractive too.
Except, as I’ve realized with this man, it can also lead you astray, making you believe that a date is relationship material.
I met the man at a casual kinky meetup at a local pub. We went on a few dates. He was nice, but nothing out of the ordinary for me. Eventually, we ended up playing together at a kink party a few weeks later. The scene was hot, and I found myself “falling” for him. We started seeing each other in earnest after that.
When I read over what I wrote about that night on my blog, I can see all the signs of excitation transfer: a relationship that wasn’t really meant to be suddenly goes into high gear after an arousing activity.
Sure, you might say hindsight is 20/20. Agreed. But I can’t help but think that without the scene, the relationship would have gone nowhere, and I would have spared both of us the energy of trying to maintain a doomed relationship. I knew I wasn’t that into him from the start, but thanks to excitation transfer, I was fooled into thinking that I had been mistaken.
So if your date wants to go bungee jumping or take you on a rickety old roller coaster, I say go ahead. I’m sure it’ll be great. But beware of the strong feelings you might feel for your date right after it. It might just be excitation transfer at work.
Angela Gallo, a doula and birth photographer from Australia, is not a shy woman.
According to Popsugar, during her second birth, she decided to try to ease the pain of childbirth by doing something... unexpected. What does that mean, exactly? Well, quite simply, Gallo masturbated during her contractions. And she's happy to talk about her experience in hopes of inspiring and empowering other laboring women to, um, take matters into their own hands.
Angela, I salute you (super-shyly) for being so frank about your experience. To each her own when it comes to labor, I say. No judgment, whatsoever.
But while I would never judge another woman for how she chooses to approach a very personal, very painful thing like giving birth to another human being, I can say that Gallo's approach probably wouldn't be for me. I would very likely have slugged my girls' dad had he offered to get frisky during my contractions. I'm just saying. And special private time was (again, for me) the furthest thing from my mind — frankly, I was just trying not to poo in the birthing tub. But am I intrigued by Gallo's story? Hell, yeah.
Gallo spoke to Woman's Day about her unusual birth experience. She was in the shower hoping to get some pain relief when her husband generously offered to have sex with her (in his defense, he'd read that this could help with the pain of labor).
Gallo said thanks but no thanks. She had another plan.
"I wanted my muscles to feel like I was working with them and not against them, so I tried to work with every ounce of energy, make every single contraction count," she said. "Touching myself took the edge off, helped me to focus, get clarity, and regain control over what I was feeling."
After laboring at home for six hours, Gallo was transported to the hospital by ambulance before it was time to push — and the transition wasn't helpful, because Gallo was in the zone.
"I went from touching myself in the shower in an amazing zone and frame of mind, to then getting in the ambulance, forcing myself not to give birth. I could feel him about to come out. I literally held the baby in the whole time," Gallo said. "I honestly think if the paramedics hadn't shown up I would've had the baby in the shower and had an orgasm."
"I would have had the baby in the shower," is a sentence you might expect to stumble across. "I would have had the baby in the shower and had an orgasm," is definitely a much more interesting sentence, and one we've never seen before.
Clearly, Gallo is one badass fertility goddess. Within 15 minutes of arriving at the hospital, her baby was born. She attributes the shower masturbation at nine centimeters with providing a huge boost in calm, pain-controlling hormones. She thinks we all need to get over our squeamishness about sex and childbirth — after all, the two are related, right?
"We use it to cure headaches, when we have periods — it just makes sense — but it's taboo," she said. "We just can't put sex back into childbirth, which is counterproductive and counterintuitive to what women feel in this space."
Gallo isn't the only mom to go the self-pleasuring route during childbirth. In fact, Angela herself (in doula mode) saw one mom use a vibrator to stay in a happy place.
"Orgasmic birth doesn't need to be the way I did it; it comes in all shapes and forms, which is exciting because women of all walks of life can tap into it," Gallo said. "And I'm not trying to undermine the women who do have difficult experiences; that's a reality. But [they usually] haven't had women tell them positive experiences. Was it challenging? Hell yes, absolutely. It's childbirth; it pushes you to the brinks of your physical limits. But it was awesome."
Angela, you are awesome. And a little intimidating. But in a really cool way.
It feels like it's been a long time coming, but Megyn Kelly's NBC debut is finally drawing near. After leaving behind a 12-year career with Fox News months ago, Kelly tweeted a picture on Monday celebrating her first official day with her new network.
She's quick to point out, of course, that she won't actually go on air until June. This week was more of a soft debut — a behind-the-scenes day for meeting her new colleagues.
One has to wonder whether or not the meet-and-greet was a friendly affair given the degree of speculation recently over tensions concerning Kelly's arrival. After all, when Tamron Hall decided to depart the show in February, it was widely suggested she left due to rumors that Kelly would be taking her 9 a.m. time slot on Today, which Hall co-hosted with Al Roker.
And as it turns out, Hall clearly had good reason to be concerned about her job. The official announcement came this afternoon, when an NBC News spokesperson confirmed to The Hollywood Reporter that Kelly's new morning show will be replacing Today's 9 a.m. hour.
To longtime fans of Today, this may seem like a slap in the face to the veteran Roker (not to mention an unfortunate step backward in diversity, given that both Hall and Roker are being pushed out). However, the network has assured fans that Roker will remain part of the NBC and Today family.
As for the question on everyone's mind — what can we expect from the NBC version of Megyn Kelly? The network dropped a few hints about the direction the journalist plans to take.
For starters, Kelly's inaugural interview will reportedly be with the Kardashian family. Since Kim Kardashian West has already opened up about her terrifying Paris robbery ordeal on Ellen, it seems safe to assume Kelly has another angle for the famous family up her sleeve.
More in keeping with Kelly's hard-hitting journalism style, however, is a rumored sit-down with Russia's Vladimir Putin.
She'll certainly need to keep viewers on their toes, as her new time slot will pit her against another Kelly: ABC's beloved longtime morning host, Kelly Ripa. Since Ripa just named media powerhouse Ryan Seacrest as her new co-host on the top-rated Live, Kelly should be prepared for some fierce competition.
When it comes to Kelly's staff, NBC says that the current staff of the 9 a.m. hour will mostly comprise the team... but that the network isn't opposed to incorporating some of Kelly's former Fox News peers, either.
Will Kelly's transition from anchor at a conservative network like Fox News to a more liberal network like NBC go over seamlessly? Will she bump heads with Savannah Guthrie and Matt Lauer? Will she take on more pop-culture puff piece interviews like the Kardashians, or will she stick with her signature no-nonsense style?
Only time will tell, but NBC News president Noah Oppenheim seems confident they've made the right choice in prioritizing Kelly.
"[She] is tough and fair; there's a place for that [on morning TV]," he told The Hollywood Reporter. "We're not giving enough credit to the morning audience to think that they don't want those things. Her background is as an attorney, she's a mom of three, and she has had a lot of experiences that will be relatable to a huge cross-section of the audience in the morning."
In true Met Gala form, the annual event brought out Hollywood's most fashion-forward crowd. And while the ensembles — which spanned the spectrum from sophisticated to outright perplexing — were certainly eye-catching, there were at least four people in the room who only had eyes for their significant others.
In addition to the debut of this year's eccentric Rei Kawakubo theme, the gala boasted two other big debuts: the public introduction of two of Hollywood's hottest new pairs, Selena Gomez and The Weeknd as well as Jennifer Lopez and Alex Rodriguez.
Although Gomez and The Weeknd have been linked together since earlier this year, the pair has yet to officially make their public debut. The Met Gala proved an interesting event to do so, considering the Weeknd attended last year with his then-girlfriend Bella Hadid... who was also in attendance tonight.
Nevertheless, The Weeknd likely had no idea who was in attendance — the musician could not take his eyes (or hands) off of Gomez. Throughout the evening, the couple displayed their affection, and you know what? It was super sweet. Hugging, kissing and cuddling on the "red" carpet, the pair didn't seem to have a care in the world outside of each other.
Image: Taylor Hill/FilmMagic/GettyImages
For their part, J.Lo and A-Rod sported mega-watt smiles and walked with arms linked. They were admittedly more subdued than Gomez and The Weeknd, but likewise looked genuinely happy to be at the Met Gala in each other's company.
Plus, the "Ain't Your Mama" singer posted some candid selfies of the couple prior to their arrival at the event, so obviously they know how to let loose and have some fun.
J Lo and A Rod
J Lo and A Rod
Bottom line: both couples looked flawless and totally in love for their big relationship debuts at the Met Gala. Here's hoping they all continue to enjoy as much happiness as they exhibited at tonight's event.
I think we now have definitive proof that Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively are actually the sweetest, most in love couple in Hollywood right now. How do I know?
I know this because Reynolds and Lively were interviewed for Humans of New York at the 2017 Met Gala. The two were pulled away from the fun and festivities, taking a moment to talk to photographer Brandon Stanton. Stanton has become best known for his Humans of New York photography project, which seeks to capture authentic moments, people and stories in New York City and share them with the world.
Blake Lively Ryan Reynolds Met Gala HONY
Blake Lively Ryan Reynolds Met Gala HONY
For Stanton's Met Gala edition of Humans of New York, he was able to get a truly spectacular quote from Reynolds, who spoke with the utmost love and respect for his wife. About Lively, he told Stanton, "[S]he always responds with empathy. She meets anger with empathy. She meets hate with empathy. She’ll take the time to imagine what happened to a person when they were 5 or 6 years old."
Reynolds continued to explain just how loving and kind she is toward and with other people, chiefly her own husband of four years. "And she’s made me a more empathetic person," Reynolds continued. "I had a very fractured relationship with my father. Before he died, she made me remember things I didn’t want to remember. She made me remember the good times." OK, is everyone's heart melting right now or is it just me? I can't even handle how cute this is!
Reynolds' words about Lively are both incredibly touching and sweet. It may be odd to place the same man who plays Deadpool and tweets hilariously off-color things about his kids in the shoes of a man who speaks about his wife making him more empathetic, but you know what? Reynolds is a man with more than a few tricks up his sleeve. I am not surprised one bit that he took a moment during a very fun and romantic evening to gush about Lively.
OMG. Can a woman go a day without a glittery, rainbow, magical creature-themed Starbucks drink blowing up her news feed? No, it appears, we cannot. Today, it's Mermaid Frappuccinos. Last week, it was Unicorn and Dragon frapps. Oh, and in case you're getting nostalgic for plain-old basic sugary frozen drinks, today, Starbucks introduced the Midnight Mint Mocha Frappuccino. Really?!
I like a delicious cold coffee drink as much as the next person. I might even on occasion crave something that's over-the-top colorful — even if it's obnoxious and clearly created for social media purposes. But this is getting truly ridiculous. It's not enough that Starbucks has already stolen business from plenty of mom-and-pop coffee shops; now, it has to occupy more space in our brains and social media feeds too? Give me a break.
Look, I grew up in the '90s, so I get the Lisa Frank, Disney princess, magic and rainbows thing, I really do. But just like I eventually took the training wheels off my bike, quit eating Dunkaroos for lunch every day and stopped using a Razor scooter as my primary mode of transportation, I eventually left most of those things in the past — after, you know, I hit double digits.
That's why I'm a little confused about our collective obsession with ultra-colorful, sparkly, cartoonish foods. Not to say that there's anything wrong with liking those things, but how is it possible that so many adults are losing their shit over a that sounds, frankly, a little gross? (Not to mention unpleasant to make — this Starbucks barista practically had a meltdown over it.)
And why are we jumping at the chance to eat things like mermaid toast in which a perfectly good piece of bread is slathered with artificially colored spreads and sprinkles? Avocado toast got a lot of flak for being too hipster, but no one seems to be calling out these other food trends as being too... I don't know, childish AF?
Millennials like me get a lot of flak for being immature, but plenty of statistics are showing that we're delaying certain milestones because of the crap economy we fell into after our booming childhoods. We're getting married later because weddings are expensive, having kids older because they cost a ton to raise, not buying houses because... well, you get the picture.
So is our obsession with magically delicious rainbow foods our way of holding onto the actually fun parts of childhood as we peer into a future devoid of Social Security and home ownership? Or is it a cultural plague, a sign of the end times?
According to Anthony Bourdain, it's the latter. Here's what he had to say when asked about the Unicorn Frappuccino at Starbucks: "Wow, that's like four things I hate all in one sentence: Starbucks, unicorns and the colors pink and purple. Also a Frappuccino! It's the perfect nexus of awfulness. Just add pumpkin spice to that mix, and you can nuke the whole country." OK, Anthony — dramatic much? But still, he makes a valid point.
Either way, it'll be interesting to see how long the nightmarishly glitter-filled trends continue. Will we be eating Barbie-themed roast beef and Care Bear mac and cheese in days to come? Or will we finally ditch the artificial colorings and dyes and just let food be food again? Who knows.
Maybe when I'm 80 and sporting rainbow sparkle dentures while sipping on a mermaid-pegasus nutrient shake, I'll be glad that there's so much more color in the world (and on Instagram). Or not.
When snack time hits, you get tired of serving the same old thing every day. Use a HORMEL GATHERINGS® Party Tray to serve up something a little more fun for an after school snack. All you need are some toothpicks and the contents of one of your favorite trays. Stack them all up and you have a satisfying snack that will keep the hunger away until dinner.
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You know when you're out at a bar and you have to pee, so you head to the bathroom, but you can't get into a stall because there's a bunch of girls making duck faces and taking selfies in the bathroom mirror? It's, like, the most annoying thing on the planet. And now, Brie Larson can officially confirm that this is true.
Larson may have just had to casually do her business at the Met Gala. But, because she was at the Met Gala, she probably forgot that the bathroom is not just for peeing. It is for selfies. Poor Larson, just minding her own business, got dragged into a selfie with Kendall and Kylie Jenner, Kim Kardashian, A$AP Rocky, Diddy, Lily Aldridge, Paris Jackson, Frank Ocean and tons of other stars. By the look of her face, you can completely tell she was just trying to get through it without peeing in her dress.
Brie Larson got trapped in Kylie Jenners Met Gala pic 1
Brie Larson got trapped in Kylie Jenners Met Gala pic 1
Larson, who is an Oscar winner, rad feminist and all-around badass, seemed to think she didn't belong in that frame. Like, it sucks that she probably just had to pee and then got roped into posing in a photo sesh afterward. The real crime here is her imposter syndrome, as exhibited when she tweeted about it.
Brie Larson got trapped in Kylie Jenners Met Gala pic 2
Brie Larson got trapped in Kylie Jenners Met Gala pic 2
When it comes to women's health, Meredith Vieira is quick to point out that some of the most urgent matters don't take the form of an easily identified physical illness.
The situation at Fox News — namely, ousting host Bill O’Reilly for numerous instances of the sexual harassment of female colleagues — has brought the issue of women’s workplace challenges to the forefront, the veteran journalist says.
“The pressures that women are under and continue to face in the workplace can be so damaging to their psyche and their mental health and trigger all kinds of stresses,” she tells SheKnows.
When it comes to the effects of workplace harassment, the stress symptoms tend to go unnoticed because they’re not a physical illness that’s obviously visible.
“Women tend to take on everybody else’s problem and not take enough time to deal with their own and take care of their own health,” Vieira says. “You’re always thinking ‘I’ve got to do this for my kids or my husband or my parents’ — and I think it’s important to remember that we’re important too.”
Reproductive rights are also something Vieira says she worries about “tremendously, every day.”
Another important health concern for Vieira is making sure that caregivers have access to the support they need to continue to provide assistance for others. Last week, she lit the Empire State Building yellow and orange to celebrate the work of Project Sunshine, a nonprofit organization that provides free educational, recreational and social programs to children and families living with medical challenges.
“Because we have illness in our own family, I’m sensitive to [Project Sunshine’s mission], and I saw what the organization does — it’s literally 15,000 volunteers purely working to bring joy to these kids and their families and let them know they’re not alone and show them there’s hope out there,” she adds.
Vieira says she appreciates the work Project Sunshine does because “they see illness in a holistic sense — it’s not just the child who is ill; it affects the entire family.” She has experienced this firsthand in her own family with her husband’s multiple sclerosis.
“It’s a family affair,” she notes. “Everybody feels it one way or another.”
The mental health of caregivers is also often overlooked, Vieira says. In addition to the pressures of dealing with a loved one’s illness, there’s also “the guilt, the isolation, the loneliness, the fear,” she adds.
“You have to be the cheerleader for the person who is ill, and at the same time, you need a little bit of that, so it’s really important to take into account the caregivers,” Vieira says.
Her advice to caregivers: “Reach out for help.” She explains that when you feel isolated, your instinct is to “hunker down” because you don’t want to intrude on your family or friends. But in her experience, they actually want to help, but may not know what to say or do to initiate it.
“Admit that you need somebody’s shoulder, somebody to come by and help,” Vieira says. “Don’t take that all on yourself because it can debilitate you, and if you’re debilitated then nothing’s going to work.”
And if your form of self-care involves a couch and a Netflix binge, Vieira has a recommendation: Hot Girls Wanted: Turned On, a six-part Netflix-produced series on women in the porn industry, which she calls “very, very empowering.”
First, she finally announced her new co-host for Live, and even though it's Ryan Seacrest, who might be the safest, most boring choice she could have made, she'll finally have a permanent sidekick on the show again.
And speaking of permanent sidekicks, Ripa's other good news is that she's celebrating her 21st wedding anniversary with Mark Consuelos!
Ripa and Consuelos are obviously in love — the few times he guest co-hosted Live were some of the sappiest moments TV has ever seen, and that's saying a lot.
They both also commemorated their big anniversary with the sappiest of sappy Instagram posts.
Kelly Ripa & Mark Consuelos post for 21st anniversary 1
Kelly Ripa & Mark Consuelos post for 21st anniversary 1
"21 years of lit-ness. (Sorry Lola) @instasuelos Happy Anniversary I love you. Big!" Ripa wrote alongside a picture of the two of them cuddling on a patio.
Consuelos posted a more celebratory shot, showing Ripa on a hike with a full bottle of Champagne in hand. Please tell me that's how they celebrated their anniversary, because goals.
Kelly Ripa & Mark Consuelos post for 21st anniversary 2
Kelly Ripa & Mark Consuelos post for 21st anniversary 2
"Yes!!! We did it!!!" he wrote. "Happy 21st anniversary to my fave... I'll save the mushy stuff for when I see you."
These two, though. Like, we know how in love they are. We see it on TV all the time. But dang. They're taking it to a new level, and they probably should — 21 years married is a hell of an accomplishment.
The most adorable couple on Instagram award goes to... Ripa and Consuelos, obviously. Don't even try to compete with them. Their sap game is just too strong.
Late-night comedian and talk show host Jimmy Kimmel got uncharacteristically serious on Monday night during his opening monologue when he revealed that his newborn son had just undergone open-heart surgery for congenital heart disease — a terrifying experience for any family.
Kimmel and his wife, Molly McNearney, welcomed their new baby boy — William "Billy" Kimmel — on April 21. A few hours post-birth, a nurse discovered the newborn's color had gone purple. Doctors ultimately determined that the infant had a heart defect. And at only 3 days old, Billy underwent open-heart surgery at Children's Hospital Los Angeles.
"Six days after open-heart surgery, we got to bring him home, which was amazing," a tearful Kimmel told his audience. "He's doing great. He's eating. He's sleeping. He peed on his mother today while she was changing his diaper. He's doing all the things that he's supposed to do."
Billy will still have to undergo at least two more heart procedures when he's older, but for now, he's out of the woods. Still, Kimmel — father of four — was clearly shaken by the experience, as any parent would be (even the funny ones).
Jimmy Kimmel
Jimmy Kimmel
Sharing family photos (also featuring his 2-year-old daughter, Jane), Kimmel perked up talking about his loved ones.
"You can see Jane's pretty excited about having another kid in the house," he quipped about one picture.
"This is me in a coma," he narrated over another picture of him passed out in exhaustion next to baby Billy.
Kimmel's gratitude to Cedars-Sinai Medical Center and Children's Hospital Los Angeles was palpable. He thanked the medical staff profusely and encouraged his fans to donate to CHLA to help other families with sick children.
Fans of Kimmel were more than happy to answer the call for financial assistance to the hospital. Kimmel thanked viewers on Twitter for their "loving tweets about our son Billy and for your donations."
Kimmel will be off the rest of this week on much-needed paternity leave, but fans, fear not. He's lined up a pretty impressive roster of substitute hosts and guests, including friends Will Arnett, Maya Rudolph, Anthony Anderson, David Spade and others. Not too shabby, Kimmel, not too shabby at all.
It was announced on May 1 that Ryan Seacrest will be Kelly Ripa's new co-host on Live, and in the wake of the big news, I feel that there's one thing we really need to discuss.
Basically the most important thing, actually. Namely, how compatible are these two, astrologically speaking?
Ripa was born on Oct. 2, which makes her a Libra. One site explains the characteristics of a Libra as being so invested in compatibility and peace that they sometimes put others' needs before their own.
"The people born under the Sign Libra are kind, gentle and lovers of beauty, harmony, and peace. However, in their effort to keep everyone happy, they find it difficult to say ‘NO’ to anyone, and as a result, they end up getting stressed" the site says.
These characteristics put Ripa's reaction to the Michael Strahan situation in clear context — Ripa's dedication to fairness and balance would have made the ham-handed way that situation was handled sting even more, making her reaction totally understandable.
Capricorns are known for being loyal, dedicated rule-followers. One site describes these sea goats as the "... planners and strategists of the zodiac. They like to plan and rehearse everything in advance and as a result they typically excel at anything they turn their mind to. They tend to be highly practical people who like structure, organization, tradition and stability."
Sounds exactly the sort of organizational characteristics needed for a Type A personality like Seacrest, who always has his hands full with multiple shows and media formats.
But what does this steadfast need to plan and control mean for those who work alongside Capricorn folk?
Ripa + Seacrest: Co-hosts
What happens when a Libra and a Capricorn work together? Well, turns out the shake-ups on the Live set might not be over quite yet, at least not if the stars have anything to do with it.
"Libra and Capricorn, unfortunately, aren't the best combination in their careers," the site explains. "Libra is far too social and equality minded, which grates on Capricorn's love of the traditional way of doing things. In fact, Capricorn tends to feel that only those who worked hardest should get ahead — not everyone who participates in a project. That's unacceptable for Libra natives, who seek balance for everyone. The end result is unhappiness and disagreements about how to advance their shared aims. It would be tough to find compromise here, so both are best served moving on to other work collaborations."
Yikes.
Sounds like Seacrest and Ripa miiight be in for a bit of a bumpy road.
Seacrest's traditionalist approach might cause friction with Ripa's quest for fairness and balance — a dynamic that could become especially pronounced when coupled with Ripa's long tenure at the show and Seacrest's impressive media background.
Two experts, two strong personalities, two distinctly different approaches — I'd definitely recommend tuning in to see what happens with this duo.
Well, now there’s an app to practice something a little less PG-rated.
After you graduated from first kiss practice, you may have also practiced blow jobs on cucumbers, bananas or other phallic-like grocery store staples. However, these shapes don’t really lend themselves to vaginal oral sex. “Lick This” is an app that allows you to practice eating out a vagina by licking your phone screen. Created by two design dudes who (perhaps not so cleverly) refer to themselves as Club Sexy Time, Lick This lets you test your stamina for eating out. Turns out, there really is an app for everything.
Lick This provides you with several different tongue exercises that simulate oral sex. Exercises include moving your tongue up and down on the screen, circling it around, and if you want to test your natural skills, there’s also a freestyle round.
Your cunnilingus abilities are tested by how many times you can sharpen a pencil, bounce a beach ball and flip a light switch on and off, all on your screen, all with the movements of your tongue. There are no definitive tips on how to perform oral sex; I suppose the point is the longer and faster you are able to perform the digital tasks the app provides, the better you might be at going down on someone IRL.
While this might be something fun to try with a partner (after you have either wiped your phone down completely or covered it in plastic wrap, because phone screens are grimy), the best way to really improve your oral sex prowess is to sit down and talk to each other. Ask your partner what they like or tell them what you’re into. Experiment with different movements together, and show or tell what works for you. Whether this conversation is aided by the app or not, it’s still one worth having for the sexual satisfaction of both of you.
Even co-creator Chris Allick admits this app is not the be-all, end-all for learning to perform oral sex. Instead, it is meant to jumpstart discussion about a topic that is still considered taboo, as well as examine just how personal our interactions with technology can be.
“Do we think you’ll be a better lover because of it?” said Allick. “No. Do we think it’s an interesting approach to human computer interaction and making people think about their sexuality and maybe start a conversation? Totes.”
Since it debuted, it's drawn tons of criticism for the way it depicts death by suicide. Those in favor of the show have said it's opened the door for frank conversations with teens about topics like bullying, sexual assault and suicide. On the other hand, critics have said that telling this story about a young woman who dies by suicide might have a potentially negative effect of either glamorizing suicide or implying that suicide can somehow be a teaching tool for others about their wrongdoings against the deceased. Mental health professionals have further noted this makes 13 Reasons Why potentially harmful to viewers who have had suicidal thoughts, as it could send the wrong message about the act of suicide.
Executive produced by Selena Gomez, the series is based on the 2007 best-selling YA novel of the same name written by Jay Asher. But even though the book was geared toward teens, Netflix streams the series with a TV-MA rating, and a number of content warnings before certain episodes. Now, following all the backlash, Netflix is doing more to make sure viewers are aware of how sensitive 13 Reasons Why's material is before they watch.
"While many of our members found the show to be a valuable driver for starting important conversation with their families, we have also heard concern from those who feel the series should carry additional advisories," the streaming service said in a statement. "Currently the episodes that carry graphic content are identified as such and the series overall carries a TV-MA rating. Moving forward, we will add an additional viewer warning card before the episode as an extra precaution for those about to start the series."
Netflix has also developed a website, 13reasonswhy.info, that contains resources for anyone who struggles with the issues depicted in the series.
It's clear that Netflix is trying to do more for its viewers, but is it enough considering how graphic and triggering 13 Reasons Why really is? Gomez thinks so.
"We stayed very true to the book and that’s initially what Jay Asher created, [which] was a beautifully tragic, complicated yet suspenseful story, and I think that’s what we wanted to do," she told the Associated Press following backlash against the series. "We wanted to do it justice and, yeah, [the backlash is] going to come no matter what. It’s not an easy subject to talk about, but I’m very fortunate with how it’s doing."
Do you think Netflix is doing enough to warn sensitive viewers about the content in 13 Reasons Why? Let us know in the comments.
If you suspect someone might be considering suicide or you have struggled with those thoughts yourself, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
Also, like, every millennial in attendance ended up sitting on the bathroom floor, and a bunch of them were smoking.
MET Gala pics reveal how terrible it actually is 4
MET Gala pics reveal how terrible it actually is 4
MET Gala pics reveal how terrible it actually is 5
MET Gala pics reveal how terrible it actually is 5
MET Gala pics reveal how terrible it actually is 6
MET Gala pics reveal how terrible it actually is 6
And apparently, people are considering this life goals now?
MET Gala pics reveal how terrible it actually is 7
MET Gala pics reveal how terrible it actually is 7
A) Smoking is so 1993. B) Can you imagine how horrible it must have smelled in that bathroom? C) If your idea of a good night is sitting on a bathroom floor tryna look too cool to be there and putting off a serious Mean Girls you-can't-sit-with-us vibe, sorry, but we're not gonna be friends because I'm going to be doing something that's actually fun.
Updated May 2, 2017, 1 p.m. PT: It's official: Ben Affleck is moving out. Sources say he found a house near the compound he and Jennifer Garner shared in Los Angeles.
"They want to be sure the kids are comfortable," an insider told People magazine. "He’s moving fairly close by and it’s all in step with what they’ve always said was the most important thing: their children."
Garner is going to continue to live on the property the former couple shared, sources say, and the kids will primarily stay there too, but with plenty of visits from and to their father.
Updated April 19, 2017, 8 a.m. PT: Sources are now saying that even though Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner maintained a friendly relationship between their separation and filing for divorce nearly two years later, divorce was the plan all along.
"It was just time," one insider told People magazine, adding that the decision to file last week was mutual.
Garner held off on officially filing divorce papers while Affleck was going through some personal struggles, including a stint in rehab, but now he's doing well, and the couple decided to finally move forward.
"Jen waited for the right time," a source close to Garner explained. "She wasn’t going to file for divorce while Ben was struggling. She is very proud of him for getting help."
Original story:
Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner, just stop playing with our hearts!
Only days after they officially filed for divorce, the couple was seen leaving church together on Easter Sunday, smiling and laughing like nothing is wrong and they don't have a care in the world.
Ben Affleck and Jen Garner leaving Easter Church as BFF
Ben Affleck and Jen Garner leaving Easter Church as BFF
Even though they separated and announced the end of their marriage almost two years ago, Affleck and Garner have been toying with our emotions ever since, going on dates, looking insanely, stupidly happy together and remaining coyly silent about all the rumors saying they would reconcile. It seemed like a big hint that they never actually filed for divorce, until BOOM. On Thursday, Garner submitted her filing. Affleck filed his response the same day. In their filing, they said they would work together to end their marriage amicably. Um, obviously. They're clearly still best friends and they should still be in love and BRB we're sobbing.
As of now, the last sliver of hope we have remaining is the fact that Affleck and Garner are still living on the same property, albeit in different houses. Affleck had moved out, but since he completed rehab for alcohol addiction, he's returned to the property to live in the guesthouse. A source has said that arrangement is coming to an end, though, so BRB again, sobbing some more.
"Ben will move out and is looking for a property close by so they can continue to co-parent as they have been," the insider said. "He will move out when he finds the right place."
Beyoncé superfans, aka all people, are gonna want to jump on this. Bey just unveiled her new $300 Lemonade box set, and it's a collector's item that dreams are made of.
How to Make Lemonade includes the first ever vinyl pressing of Beyoncé's Lemonade album (in a lemon color, because of course), audio and visual album downloads and a 600-page coffee table book featuring never-released photos from the making of Lemonade interwoven with writing and lyrics in Bey's own handwriting, a forward by Dr. Michael Eric Dyson and poetry by Warsan Shire.
Check out the teaser Bey posted to Instagram Tuesday:
Teaser for Beyonce's How To Make Lemonade box set /book
Teaser for Beyonce's How To Make Lemonade box set /book
As Bey's website puts it, "The How To Make Lemonade Box Set is a momentous tome and comprehensive look at Beyoncé’s LEMONADE journey. The How To Make Lemonade Box Set gives unprecedented insight into the making of multiple award-winning LEMONADE, with a numbered, collector’s edition coffee table book, double vinyl LP, and audio and visual album downloads."
The price tag may be a little steep, but look at how much of herself Beyoncé put into this. It's basically like owning a piece of her. Also, all those exclusive photos? This is a piece of music history, fam. It's worth saving pennies.
The set is only available to preorder through Beyoncé's website as of now, with shipping dates listed only as "Summer 2017." Still, we have a feeling these are gonna sell out long before the preorder stage ends, so if you're the kind of Beyoncé fan who needs one of these, you might want to get on it. Like, right now.
Kelly Osbourne has spent the last 15 years in the spotlight ever since her family was the center of one of the earliest and most successful reality television shows, The Osbournes. In that time, she's gone through good times and bad, colored both by the normal troubles of adolescence and growing up, but also by the more peculiar problems of growing up in a famous family with a tumultuous history. She's dealt with controversy, battled drug addiction, cared for her sometimes troubled parents and had relationships and breakups broadcast to the public.
Now, the 32-year-old singer, actress, fashion designer and television personality is telling it all, this time from her own perspective, in a new memoir, There Is No Fucking Secret: Letters from a Badass Bitch. We sat down to chat with her about the book, her life today and the one thing that saved her in her darkest times.
SheKnows: What was the hardest part of the book for you to write?
Kelly Osbourne: The hardest chapter for me to get through emotionally was my mom’s chapter and my dad’s chapter. And even now, I can’t read them out loud without crying. Even on the audio book, I couldn’t get through it without crying. We tried so many times. It’s amazing when you start looking back at your life, you can understand how things really affected you.
SK:Do you think you’re at a different place processing those events than you were at the time that they happened?
KO: You’re in the moment when it’s happening, and you feel whatever you can to get through the day and pray tomorrow will be better. It was important for me to talk about because it’s not just hard on the person who is sick. It’s hard on the people that love them too. It's really hard seeing somebody you love so much be in so much pain and be so ill and there’s nothing you can do. What’s interesting is people act in so many different ways. You know, some people run away, some people get angry, some people fall apart. It’s like everybody has a different way of dealing with stuff like that.
SK: How did you deal with it?
KO: I’m very honest in my book. I was numbing myself with drugs. I gave up on my career so I could spend every single moment I possibly could with my mother because they told us she wasn’t gonna make it — when they broke the news to us, they told us the word "terminal." I was fired by my agent because I pulled out of doing Freaky Friday with Lindsay Lohan because I wasn’t gonna be spending what could have been the last two years of my mom’s life filming a movie rather than being with her.
I just wanted to do whatever I could to make her smile. I never treated my mom like she was sick. I just wanted to make sure that someone was trying to make her laugh and that she was looked after. My dad, the thought of losing my mom just spiraled him out of control. The thought alone sent him crazy. It was hard on my brother because he doesn’t like hospitals. So I stepped up.
SK: You've said that your book is a lot about the life lessons you’ve learned. What’s the biggest lesson that you don’t want other people to learn the hard way?
KO: I've learned that all you can be in this world is you. No matter how much you mess with yourself, with surgery or you know, clothes or cut your hair differently or how much you wish and pray and dream that you’re gonna wake up as someone else, it’s never gonna happen. You have one life and one opportunity, and all you can be is the best you. I spent so much time in my life feeding into this bullshit and worrying about perceptions of me that people had made. And that’s why this is my opportunity to finally be like, "You know what, you can all fuck off. This is exactly who I am. Now you can decide whether you like me or not. And it’s totally OK with me if you don’t."
There’s always going to be someone prettier, smarter, funnier, better than you — something — but you’re you. And no one can take that away from you. Every single person in this world is unique and special and worth something. You can become anything you want to. We just live in a society where they love to kick people when they’re down, and they love to put a label on everything.
SK: That’s amazing. And it seems like such a simple lesson to learn, but it’s not.
KO: It’s not. It’s one of the hardest lessons in the entire world. And people do not give it enough credit, especially to the young generation today, the peer pressures that they undergo. It’s a fucking race for perfection and perfection doesn’t exist. It’s a waste of our fucking lives.
SK: It’s probably especially hard as a woman in Hollywood. Did you feel special pressure as a woman?
KO: Because I never looked like a supermodel, I never fell into that. But because I didn’t fall into it, it gave me a real fast lesson on that pressure, and I wouldn’t wish that upon anyone. It is a miserable existence. Like all these women in Hollywood, people don’t realize that they work out like six hours a day with a personal trainer and have a chef. They can pay for all of that stuff, and that’s why they look like that. And I'm scared of surgery, I’ve never had any. Oh! I had my tonsils out. I mean, there’s maintenance, but I’m still not ready for it yet.
SK: Do you consider yourself a feminist?
KO: I am the dictionary definition of feminist in that I believe women are equal to men. People sometimes use the word for different meanings and it is important to understand that feminism at its core is really is just believing that everyone is equal and should have the same rights. We are all beautiful women, we are still in the fight for equal pay, and we don’t need to fight each other. That’s why I call myself a girl’s girl. If women didn’t rule the world, they wouldn’t have the expression, “Behind every man is a great woman."
SK: You’ve been on the cover of beauty magazines. Is that surreal for you? Does it conflict with how you feel?
KO: No. I think it's an honor. I know my idea of beauty isn’t what most people's is, and the fact that I’m getting the opportunity to show my beauty and work with incredible photographers that actually take me out of my comfort zone and allow me to see myself through their work in a different way — it’s a real honor.
SK: What empowers you today, and how do you stay centered amid everything that goes on in Hollywood?
KO: It’s all fucking bullshit. You can’t take it seriously. You can take what you stand for seriously, your art, your creativity, your morals, but everything else? It can suck shit. Because it is not real. You’ve just got to find a way to laugh about it and not get so sucked into the BS of it.
I wrote my book with the intention of showing people who I am for once and not letting people tell me that anymore. I’m taking my power back. It’s a positive book about how love can get you through anything.
SK: How did you finally learn just to be you?
KO: I’m really shit at being anyone else. I got sick and tired of being sick and tired. What I’m really loving right now is that for the first time in my life, I have problems that are not my fault! It’s a whole new world! It's awesome!
David Beckham rang in his 42nd birthday on Tuesday with one teensy, tiny slice of birthday cake and a whole lot of social media love from his family.
The Beckhams tend to shun the limelight when it comes to public outings, but they don't mind living it up on social media. And this is a family that clearly loves hanging out together whenever possible. Can we come over and hang too, guys?
DB cake
DB cake
Beckham's ever-posh wife, Victoria, posted a super-sweet photo of herself and their daughter Harper. She captioned it: “Happy birthday daddy! From your two favorite girls!! We love u so, so much xx kisses from mummy and Harper.” Melt!
The Beckhams' sons also got in on the birthday wishes with their own social media posts. Brooklyn, 18, posted an animated shot of his dad and wrote, “Happy birthday xx love you so much."
Romeo, 14, posted a pic of himself and father mid-hug. “Happy birthday to the best and coolest dad ever I hope you have the best day possible!! Love u lots."
Youngest son Cruz, 12, went with a photo of himself with his legendary soccer star dad. “Dear Dad Happy birthday.I hope u have an amazing day!! U r the best dad in the world.”
How many teen boys are that pumped to celebrate their dad's birthdays? We love the whole insanely photogenic bunch.
“I think people would really be surprised at how we try to avoid too much attention,” Victoria Beckham said in a recent interview. Based on this online birthday lovefest... well, maybe so. But we're hoping the Beckhams don't stop posting anytime soon.
But maybe... a bigger cake for dad next time? Just a thought. We're pretty sure he burns off the calories daily, no prob. I mean, look at the guy. He makes 42 look pretty fine.
From Season 1 winner Kelly Clarkson to Season 15 winner Trent Harmon, there's no denying the long-running American Idol churned out some phenomenal talent over the years. For those of us that grew up watching the OG singing competition, it was hard to accept Harmon would be the last Idol ever.
Or will he?
According to TMZ, sources at ABC and Fremantle (the company that produces American Idol) have confirmed that ABC just made an offer to buy the show. Wait, what? How does that work? Just like any other reboot apparently.
Sure, the show has been "dead in the water" so to speak for a year, but that doesn't mean it can't still be revived — and that's precisely what ABC intends to do.
TMZ's sources claim that NBC and FOX actually beat ABC to the punch a few months back and got into a bidding war over the recently retired hit show. However, complications with CORE, the co-owner of American Idol, prevented Fremantle from following through with any negotiations.
Now that ABC has reached out and the squabbles have all but been settled with CORE, Fremantle will resume discussion with the co-owner to see if they want to play ball with ABC or let NBC and FOX continue to right for the rights.
If you've been following the news this last few days, you're likely wondering how Ryan Seacrest could possibly factor into this equation. After all, he just signed on to co-host Live with Kelly! alongside the eponymous Kelly Ripa.
Sorry to be the bearer of bad news if you're a Seacrest fan, but it seems there is little to no hope he'd be able to helm the show given his new commitment. Hey, perhaps they can bring back Ryan's original co-host, Brian Dunkleman.
If he's still too bitter, we'd like to suggest the show extend an offer to Nick Lachey: he's handsome, likable, funny, authentic. Book him, and we're definitely on board — especially if Idol brings back the lovable last panel of judges comprised of Keith Urban, Jennifer Lopez and Harry Connick Jr.
