"... to start paying back the money my parents have loaned me through the last year." — Denise Mattox
Image: Becci Burkhart/SheKnows
"... to tell my mom and dad how much I love them on a regular basis." — Lisa Samples
"... to not get so annoyed when my mom tries to tell me what to do out of love. In her eyes, I will always be her 6-year-old." — Ari Adams
"... to call more often and send them their grandchildren's artwork once a month." — Ashley
"My parents have both passed away, but I can keep their memories alive by talking about them more with my kids." — Caroline Poser
"... to support my mother in all that she does. As she gets older, I have less patience. I want her to know that I am 100% there." — Jessica Michael
"... to appreciate my aging parents. They are awesome grandparents, it is my job to see that my son gets to create great memories with them." — Mitch Chaitin
"... to initiate plans or phone calls on a more regular basis with my parents." — Laura Nuss
"... to call often and listen to my mom. I also will take her out more often." — Michelle Casten
"... to call my parents more. My folks don't hear from us half as much as they should. They won't be around forever." — Katie Reed
Image: Becci Burkhart/SheKnows
"... to be more forgiving." — Cassandra McCann
"... to call my dad once a week and be patient when all he wants to talk about is the movie he is watching on television." — Ashj3nt
"I've resolved to stop letting life keep me from seeing my mom and grandmother regularly." — Krishna Davenport-Francis
"... to thank my parents for everything they have done for me more often. Parenting is tough!" — Michelle Hancock
"... to be an asset to the lives of my loved ones. I will remain non-judgmental, helpful and sincere." — Dana Gore
"... to apply the lessons my parents taught me and use them for the greater good. I want to make my family proud." — Valerie Robinson
"... to sit and talk more. Invite them over for dinner more often." — Marie Curtis
"... to honor my parents memory throughout the year and feel their presence in my heart." — Regina Bauscher
"... to make the effort to spend time together. I am lucky to have two living parents, even if sometimes they drive me nuts." — Randi Mazzella
"... to stay patient and to understand that my parents are human. We all have our weaknesses, and we all cope differently." — Mary O'Brien
"... to take my parents out to dinner more throughout the year." — Staci Gerardi
"... to spend more quality time with my parents!" — Maimah Karmo
"... to start walking again, so my mother no longer has to care for me anymore." — ShawnTe Pierce
"... to make my parents proud of the woman I've grown up to be." — Bola Onada Sokunbi
"... to call my parents at least once a week. Not just a quick check-in call, but a phone call where I take time to really listen." — Amy Smalarz
"... to just be in my parent's lives, and not try to change them." — Julia Travers
"... to help my mother organize her important documents." — Michele Goad
"... to allow my parents to be involved in as many aspects of my life as possible, now that I live so far away, by sending more pics." — Janylle Radden
"... to be more patient and listen more to the support needs my folks have about my brother who has disabilities." — Dee Dee Eberle
"As a daughter, I resolve to get to know my parents better. Who are they at this stage in their lives?" — Valerie Lenon Reed
"... to stop worrying so much about my mother and let her live her own life." — Stephanie Dionne
"... to spend more time with my parents really getting to know them as individuals, and not just as my mom and dad. They will often tell me that their favorite gift is simply spending time together. They've spent a good part of their lives learning about me, and I think it's high time I tried to do the same. This may be a bit awkward at times, but, hey, whose life is without those moments!? I'm getting a running start on this, too. My mom and I are going to participate in the Ugly Sweater Run this year. We'll be walking it, but that means we'll get some time to talk, too!" — Shana Schneider
For Katy Perry and John Mayer, we might as well have gone back in time. The two exes spent New Year's Eve together — never a good idea. Unless, of course, you're back together.
Here's what we know: The two were together with a group of friends at "Hollywood hotspot" The Nice Guy on Wednesday (coincidentally, the same restaurant where Kourtney Kardashian was recently spotted with Justin Bieber). As a source revealed to People, "They got a table together about 10 of them in total and went straight there after John's show." The spy didn't seem to think there was anything romantic going on, "They were both there with a group of friends. Not together or anything flirty or love-interest type."
But they did get in the same car and leave together. Two old friends sharing a ride back to the same 'hood? Or star-crossed musician lovers reuniting for the holidays? You decide!
As People reminds us, the two were also seen in a will-they-won't-they situation at Allison Williams' wedding in September. According to a source, "John and Katy looked happy. They held hands and sat next to each other during the wedding ceremony." John was also seen at Katy's house during a party this summer.
May those who resolve to "define the relationship" find clarity in 2016. Good luck, Katy and John!
According to Radar Online, the couple was hoping for a quiet celebration. Unfortunately, "peaceful and relaxing" doesn't play so well on Real Housewives of New Jersey cameras. Bravo has been filming the newly reunited family for RHONJ Season 7 and according to an insider, they weren't even allowed to get the holiday off.
"Real Housewives of New Jersey filming is in full swing, and cameras have been at the house almost non-stop since Teresa returned home. Teresa asked if they could have the night off, and was told no," said the source, "This was especially upsetting for Joe, because he just wants to have some alone time with his wife."
Teresa returned home from prison on December 23. Good news for fans, bad news for Joe, Gia, Gabriella, Milania and Audriana: According to Radar's source, Teresa's husband and four daughters have yet to spend any quality family time with their mother away from the Bravo cameras. It was previously unconfirmed whether the Giudice family would appear on the next season of the show, but between legal fees and Teresa's probation, it seems like a safe bet that the Giudices need all the Bravo cash they can get.
Teresa is keeping it all smiles in her vlogs for Bravo's The Daily Dish with a simple New Year's message, "Hi everyone, I'm back! I just want to wish everyone a Happy New Year, It's gonna be a great 2016. Love, love, love you all." With cameras following her every move — especially while she's under house arrest until February 5 — we guarantee it won't stay that cheerful for long.
The first thing I am going to say is — drumroll, please — drink more water! Healthy skin starts from the inside. All of the things we love to do that keep us warm — turning up the heater, long hot showers, late night hot-tubbing and long luxurious bubble baths — they all strip moisture from our skin. It is important to replenish our bodies constantly. Tip: Try “eating” your water. Consume foods such as melons, cucumbers and celery that are packed with water. Your body retains it longer than drinking it alone.
Get a humidifier. The air is dry and stale, and a humidifier will help you not only look better, but feel better too. I absolutely love the warm-mist humidifier from Bed Bath & Beyond, but it is pricey. So, I just got a bedside mini humidifier from Target, and I love it! It is so quiet, and you can easily travel with it and move it around the house — even bring it to work!
If you don’t have soft water, buy a showerhead filter. You rarely drink hard water right out of the faucet, so why would you want to drench your entire body and largest organ (your skin) in it? I found mine at Home Depot. For about $10, your hair and skin will thank you.
Be mindful of the body wash that you use. Stay away from harsh chemicals and soap. Many formulas can irritate and strip natural oils from your skin, while overdrying. It's hard to get used to washes that don’t create a thick bubbly lather, but you don’t need foam to make you clean. My favorites are SheaMoisture and Kora Organics body washes.
Gently exfoliate. Two to three times a week, take some time for manual exfoliation of the skin. Steer clear of any harsh scrubs that can cause microtears and damage. You can spend a fortune, or you can also make your own. Take a rich oil — such as organic olive, jojoba, coconut or avocado — and mix 50 percent oil with 50 percent organic granulated brown or white sugar in a mason jar. Gently rub over your entire body (excluding your face) while in the shower. Tip: After massaging into skin, leave on for the rest of your shower before rinsing off for the benefits of even more moisture.
Use a toner on your body. This might sound insane — but try it. And, no, I am not referring to astringents (aka alcohol). I am suggesting a pH-balancing hydrating mist toner. Look for a moisturizing formula in a spray bottle, such as Fresh Rose Floral Toner. Tip: Dry off completely, and then spray a generous amount of toner all over your body. Dry off again and apply body lotion. The toner will help reset the pH of your skin and helps eliminate dryness, itching and irritation. Do this after every single shower.
Invest in a good, natural, organic body lotion. You can find a million different types of lotion, but I love Kora Organics — pricey, but good for your body and mind. Apply lotion all over your body daily and make sure you have a separate moisturizer for your face.
So, there you have it: my tips and tricks for keeping your skin glowing and soft year-round! Try it out for yourself and let us know your favorites. And keep the beautiful photos of your beauty creations coming. Make sure to tag us and always hashtag #makeupmagnets.
If you need money advice or a top-notch financial plan, the Internet is full of modern-age tips and downloadable apps and, really, anything else you may need to navigate your personal finances. Perhaps you've already tried using only your credit cards for purchases — and found you were just left paying your bills in one big heap at the end of the month. Maybe you've created 100 spreadsheets over the past three years, only to find you never, ever glance at them after the first of the month.
The money-saving answers you're looking for may actually be right under your nose, assuming you're lucky enough to be able to tap into the wisdom of a grandparent or great-grandparent who lived during the Great Depression. Back in the early '30s, most folks didn't have a choice when it came to saving — there simply wasn't a lot of money to begin with and groceries had to be purchased, clothing needed mending and bills had to be paid on time. "The Greatest Generation" sucked it up and followed these savings tips, which work just as well in modern times.
1. Stop buying everything you want — It's nice to have 15 shades of red lipstick to match your moods, but those tubes add up — and could be better spent paying off your phone bill. The first step to making sure you're saving enough money is to ask yourself, with each and every purchase, whether you need it to live (milk for a baby, bread) or whether it's a beautiful trinket that will add pleasure to your life. Save pleasurable purchases for special occasions.
2. Learn to fix things when they break — How many times have you thrown out broken household items or clothing because you had no idea how to repair them? The next time a button on your shirt or coat pops off, grab some thread and a needle and try your hand at putting it back on. You'll save yourself a bundle at the dry cleaner's and will feel good about your crafty ways.
3. Stop throwing everything out — You know that plastic bag you just chucked out that once contained nothing but a granola bar? In the old days, there's no way anyone would have done away with a perfectly good and reusable item that could be put to use again (and again and again). If you really want to cut down on costs, stop using plastic plates and cups and wash glasses and china in the sink.
4. Buy secondhand clothing — If you haven't visited a secondhand shop since you were a teen, you'd be surprised at the amazing deals and cute vintage clothing items you can score. Not only will you save money on a sweet wardrobe, but you'll also do the environment a big favor.
5. Wear more sweaters — During the wintertime. Around the house. No one who lived during the Depression heated their homes to 75 degrees in January — they just learned how to wear extra layers and deal with it. You'll be happier (and maybe even healthier since all of that stale air can't be good) when you get your heating bill at the end of the month.
6. Grow a garden — Not only is it super healthy and fun to grow your own veggies in your backyard, but it will save you a lot of money at the grocery store.
7. Visit the library — Before you even think of buying another $30 book or DVD, visit your local library and benefit from educational and free entertainment.
8. Use up every last bit of coffee (or lipstick or face cream) — Women who lived during the Great Depression wouldn't have dreamed of tossing out a tube of lipstick because it had started to become difficult to use. Simply invest in a quality lip brush and you'll get every last bit of color out of your lipstick before having to buy a new one. The same principle applies to coffee, creams, sugar, etc.
9. Watch less television — There are plenty of reasons why watching less television is a great idea: you'll likely use your mind in more creative ways and will get to enjoy books and crafts and hobbies that you've forgotten you love. But it doesn't hurt that your bill will be lower each month — cutting down on TV time may even inspire you to cancel cable altogether. Talk about savings.
10. Clean with natural products — Cleaning your home with multipurpose products like baking soda and white vinegar are safer for the environment and your health, and will save you a lot of money in the long run. Your home will even smell fresher and more inviting.
11. Stop using credit cards — Make this your money-saving mantra: If I don't have cash to spend on xyz, it will have to wait. Of course, in this day and age, it helps to build a credit line — but that doesn't mean you should use it to pay for everything, or for luxury items that you can't really afford.
12. Buy generic over-the-counter drugs — Why spend triple the price for what amounts to the same drug? The ingredients in generic drugs are the same as big-name ones (they have to be — imagine the lawsuits if they weren't), so don't buy into the hype when it comes to fancy name-brand items. Now that we think about it, that goes for a lot of purchases: food items, toothpaste, paper goods, you name it.
According to People, Cole died of complications from a heart condition at Los Angeles' Cedar Mount Sinai Center. She was 65.
Her son, Robert Yancy, and sisters Timolin and Casey Cole shared a statement with the press, "Natalie fought a fierce, courageous battle, dying how she lived... with dignity, strength and honor. Our beloved Mother and sister will be greatly missed and remain UNFORGETTABLE in our hearts forever."
Cole was the daughter of iconic jazz and R&B singer Nat King Cole and singer Maria Hawkins Cole, and a legend in her own right. She had won nine Grammys, including five for her debut album "Inseparable."
Reverend Jesse Jackson shared his love for Cole on Twitter.
Cole was open about her struggle with heroin addiction throughout career. "I've been to hell and back. I have seen the edge. I have seen the dark side of life," she wrote in her book. She was arrested for possession of heroin in 1975 in Toronto, Canada, and entered rehab in 1983.
"You shouldn't have regrets. I'd say instead that I've learned a lot of lessons. Yes, I could have handled some things better. But they've also made me who I am today. I like myself so much more than I did even five years ago. I can't think of anything I wish I hadn't done, even with this hepatitis," she told People.
Odom, who is still hospitalized in a Los Angeles hospital, received a holiday visit from his two children with ex-partner Liza Morales, and his son Lamar Jr. posted a happy, sweet snap of the family joking around.
"Christmas with my pops. Here's to 2016. Blessed," Lamar Jr. captioned the picture, posted on his private Instagram account.
Meanwhile, Lamar's sorta-ex, sorta-still wife Khloe Kardashian is reportedly taking steps to finally resolve their relationship, because she feels her own life has been on hold for too long.
"It's a delicate situation, because Lamar's so sensitive and there's no easy way for Khloe to tell him she's not coming back [as his wife]," an insider told Radar Online.
"She's finding the whole strain of running his finances and medical planning way too much to bear, since so much of her own life has had to go on hold."
Kardashian and Odom had finally signed divorce papers last summer, but she asked the court to vacate the request for finalization after he was found in a coma at a Las Vegas brothel in October. So why the change of heart, just months into Odom's precarious recovery? One person is moving her heart forward: her currently boyfriend, James Harden.
"He has been a saint, but he's getting extremely frustrated at still playing second fiddle to Lamar," the source explained. "That's why Khloe's had to start the withdrawal process — she's terrified of driving James any further away."
There doesn't seem to be too much to worry about in that department as the couple was spotted smooching in a Houston, Texas, club on New Year's Eve.
Rory Feek told fans that Joey was not expected to make it to Christmas, so when she did — and was feeling well enough to enjoy it — that was the greatest gift the family could get.
"In early November, Christmas seemed still so far away. And the prognosis was clear that there was a good chance Joey wasn't going to be with us then and that this Christmas was going to be a difficult one to get through," Rory wrote on his blog, This Life I Live.
He compared the family's hopes for the holiday to the book, The Gruffalo.
"Ours was the belief that it was going to be a wonderful, magical Christmas. We didn't really believe it — down deep inside we knew we knew better — but still we told ourselves and each other that it was going to be great."
"And when we got to the other side, it turned out that our Gruffalo was real too. Christmas had come and Joey was not only here with us, but she was doing well and we all had an amazing day together."
Not only did Joey get to share her daughter Indiana's first Christmas with her, she was able to enjoy family holiday traditions like making Christmas cookies, donning Christmas pajamas and reading stories on Christmas Eve, and opening gifts on Christmas morning. She was even feeling good enough to enjoy Christmas dinner with a big family celebration that evening.
"It truly was an incredible Christmas!" Rory wrote. "Sometimes believing is seeing. And so as the New Year approaches, we will continue to believe and trust that what is waiting on the other side of the deep, dark wood is something even better and more beautiful than our minds can even imagine."
Joey stopped treatments for cervical cancer last fall and entered hospice at home.
Others had told me “Paula” was cutthroat, but I hadn’t believed it until I became her prey of choice. I’d had my first warning when I’d walked into my office after a 10-day vacation and saw all of my carefully arranged project files disheveled.
I asked the administrative assistant to tell me who’d been in my office. She told me that Paula had “needed” some material from my desk and discovered a few “undone” assignments, gone to our mutual boss and offered to help.
Paula was nowhere to be seen, and I later learned she was with one of my clients. Next, I visited our boss and he told me he’d been disappointed to learn I’d left projects unfinished, that Paula had jumped in to help, and in the process had learned several key clients were a bit unhappy with me.
I asked for the details and he said, “We might as well get this all out on the table.” He then brought Paula in and she presented what had to be lies or at least distortions. It was clear that she’d had his ear and he wasn’t hearing anything she said for the first time.
I assured him that none of what she’d said could be true. Before I’d left for my vacation, I’d contacted each client and talked about next steps. Sure, no client wants a 10-day hiatus, but they’d all been OK.
According to Paula, several clients asked in my absence if she could handle their accounts, including the client whose office she just left. I told my boss I’d call these clients and straighten out things. That’s when our boss told me that he didn’t want me calling the clients who’ve allegedly expressed the desire for Paula to be their rep as we need to present a united front to our clients.
Clearly, my boss has bought what Paula’s told him hook, line and sinker and eliminated my chance to get to the truth. What do I do now? After the meeting, Paula had the gall to tell me, “Sorry this all happened.”
All I could say was, “Nice to know you live down to your reputation.”
Unfortunately, the administrative assistant, and office gossip, overheard me and I know what I said will make its way to my boss’s ears.
How do I recover?
What to do
Don’t do or say anything else until you’ve calmed down. You can’t afford to let Paula foot-sweep you into doing something stupid. Right now, your mutual boss sees Paula as an enterprising employee who’s helped out the firm with clients you left hanging.
Either you blithely ignored client signals that they weren’t happy with you, you should have set up a contingency plan for client needs when you were on vacation, or Paula has convinced several clients and your boss your head’s not been in the game. Is there a kernel of truth to the fact that you let your clients down? Or, has Paula effectively discredited you?
If it's the former, lick your wounds, double down and do your absolute best with the clients you have left. You occupy an unfortunate zone on your boss’s radar.
If it's the latter, watch out. When cut-throat peers target you, you can’t afford to take what they’ve done personally, react to their continued sideswipes nor to run. The mistakes you make only embolden them. Instead, you need to mount a counteroffensive.
Reach out to every client immediately. Let them know how seriously you take their needs. Present your boss with your game plan for ensuring total client satisfaction.
Next, you’ve said others told you Paula used cutthroat tactics. Who said what? Also, although you need to honor your boss’s request not to reach out to your former clients, nothing prevents you from detailing their former satisfaction with your efforts. You may ultimately need to present your boss this information, as you may need to show your boss your best side and Paula’s other side.
How do you recover? Stop flailing about and focus. Play your A game with your remaining clients and prepare your case for what’s really happened — you may need it.
Have a question for Lynne? Email her at lynne@thegrowthcompany.com with subject “SheKnows” and she may answer your question (confidentially) in an upcoming piece on SheKnows.
This post was adapted from Lynne Curry’s Beating the Workplace Bully, 2015, AMACOM. Lynne authored Beating the Workplace Bully and Solutions. You can also follow Lynne @lynnecurry10 on Twitter or access her other posts on SheKnows, www.workplacecoachblog.com or www.bullywhisperer.com.
1OAK shared a photo of Disick counting down to 2016 at the nightclub and looking like he was having a blast.
WARNING: There is some strong language in the video below.
Scott Disick 1OAK NYE video
Scott Disick 1OAK NYE video
And while Disick doesn't appear to have a drink in hand, it still isn't recommended that someone who so recently spent time in rehab for addiction problems be so close to so much alcohol.
Meanwhile, Disick's ex, Kourtney Kardashian, shared her sweet New Year's Eve kiss on Instagram.
Kourtney Kardashian NYE with Reign pic
Kourtney Kardashian NYE with Reign pic
It looks like the mom of three spent her time at home with her kids, planting a cute peck on little Reign.
What makes Disick's partying ways even sadder is that a recent Keeping Up With the Kardashian's clip showed Disick crying with remorse over the way he treated Kourtney and the rest of the Kardashian/Jenner clan.
Disick seemed like he was really trying to make amends for cheating on Kourtney, and he alluded to the fact that he wanted to help himself so that he could help Kourtney and the kids.
A nightclub in Vegas just doesn't seem like the place for a recovering addict to get the help he needs. Although it is important to note Page Six reports that Disick did stay sober throughout his NYE hosting duties.
Do you think Disick stayed sober at the NYE event or is he back to his partying ways in 2016?
Elizabeth "Sara" Bentley posted a frightening video to Periscope where she told fans she was planning to smoke pot and drink Drano in a desperate suicide bid because of the devastating effect Sheen's HIV truth has had on her life.
Bentley told press last month that she had hooked up with Sheen several times, but, although they had unprotected sex, she claims Sheen never revealed his HIV-positive status to her. She has since tested negative several times, but her life is falling apart in every other way since she talked about her experience.
"Because I told the truth about Charlie Sheen my career is over," she told Radar Online. "My life is over."
Bentley claims her boyfriend dumped her and no adult film studios will hire her.
"He left me because of Charlie," she said. "I lost the love of my life. I've been blacklisted from the adult industry," she said. "I want to die every single day because of this bullshit."
"I don't want to be in the public eye ever again because I lost the love of my life because of it."
Bentley is now safe, thanks to the help of another Sheen ex, Bree Olsen, to whom Bentley reached out for help.
"She is okay as in physically okay," Olsen confirmed to Radar. "I'm so glad that she reached out and talked with me."
"This goes to show people how much this has affected people," she continued. "This poor woman has been completely victimized and ostracized to the point where she felt she had no way out other than to end her life."
Sheen admitted he has been living with HIV for years in a confessional interview with Matt Lauer on The Today Show. He has since been sued by former fiancée Brett Rossi for failing to disclose his health status prior to sex.
If you are going to make one resolution this year, make it to get better sleep. Why? If you make the resolution for better sleep, all aspects of your life will be improved by being in a better mood, feeling less tired, being more productive, seeing an increase in concentration and feeling well rested to take on the day.
Most people seem to be working on less sleep and with more stress in their daily lives. That is a combination for disaster: too little sleep and high stress levels. In looking at the new guidelines set by the National Sleep Foundation, here is what the recommended amounts are:
School-age children (6-13): Sleep range widened by one hour to 9 to 11 hours (previously it was 10 to 11)
Teenagers (14-17): Sleep range widened by one hour to 8 to 10 hours (previously it was 8.5 to 9.5)
Young adults (18-25): Sleep range is 7 to 9 hours (new age category)
Adults (26-64): Sleep range did not change and remains 7 to 9 hours
Older adults (65+): Sleep range is 7 to 8 hours (new age category)
According the American Psychological Association, “Adults who sleep fewer than eight hours a night report higher stress levels than those who sleep at least eight hours a night (5.5 versus 4.4 on a 10-point scale).”
How much sleep are you getting? How can you get better sleep? Do you need to work on reducing your anxiety and worry so you can sleep better at night? As a therapist, I find that sleep is one of the most important things children and adults can improve for better overall mental health and reduced stress.
If you can relax before bedtime, set up a routine for yourself or your children, including adding relaxation tools before bedtime. Reading or journaling is a really simple technique that can help you relax before bed. Try to quiet worrying thoughts and focus on your book and keep electronics out of the bedroom. If you feel like you have insomnia, consulting a health care provider would be useful. But for simple changes, introduce relaxation techniques, like reading, writing, meditation or listening to relaxation music and see if your sleep changes.
Happy New Year and cheers to better sleep patterns.
It wasn't that long ago, about 12 years, but I remember the shame and awkwardness I felt when I first walked out of the pharmacy with my prescription for Paxil. No one — and I mean no one — I knew had the illness. Cue increased feelings of inadequacy and questions of why I just couldn't be like everyone else?
Of course, I'm far from the only one. An estimated 350 million people worldwide suffer from depression, making it one of the most common diseases. It just wasn't talked about, until recently. Though there is still a ton of work to be done on the accessibility and affordability of mental healthcare, the willingness of people to talk about their experiences helps others feels that they're not alone.
Case in point: Popular YouTube vlogger Kayley Melissa gained 900,000-plus followers with her makeup and skincare tips, but her once-prolific publishing schedule waned in the past several months, leading fans to wonder what was up. In response, she uploaded a very personal video confessing her battle with anxiety and depression.
Kayley Melissa depression
Kayley Melissa depression
"You guys have probably noticed that I've been gone for a lot of 2015, and you've probably wondered why," she said in the beginning of the video. "I was struggling a lot with severe depression and anxiety, and it completely sidelined me. I literally could not function. I couldn't do anything."
The feelings got so bad that she felt paralyzed with fear about creating videos — the very thing that she excels at and has built her career around.
"For some reason, I began to associate anxiety with my YouTube channel, and I became convinced in my deepest heart of hearts that if I uploaded a video to YouTube, everyone was going to hate it, and my career would be over," she said. "It was so real to me that when I would even think about filming a video, I would get panic attacks."
She's back to publishing videos, though still at a less-frequent basis. However, sharing her story has touched followers who have thanked her for being so open. That's exactly what we need to fight the stigma around mental illness — by making it known. Tell your story — to others, on social media — and you'll undoubtedly help someone else tell theirs.
In between what appeared to be an almost unsolvable mystery, it was revealed that 1890s Sherlock and Watson were just part of modern-day Sherlock's mind palace, wherein the famous detective was using the real (yet very old) case of the Abominable Bride, aka Emilia Ricoletti, to figure out exactly how Moriarty is back from the dead.
For those who forgot, at the end of Season 3, Sherlock’s archenemy seemingly came back to life by declaring with a video message, "Did you miss me?" Obviously, this confused many — including Sherlock — because Moriarty shot himself in the head at the end of Season 2.
Well, in addition to Sherlock overdosing on drugs in order to enter his mind palace (at least this time around), he deduced that Moriarty is most definitely dead. I mean, he did even go to "the trouble of an overdose to prove it." Also, there's no way someone could survive a bullet through the head — not even Moriarty. That said, just because Sherlock declared the Big Bad is truly dead doesn't mean he is gone.
Somehow, Moriarty is back and causing havoc, once again. As depicted during Sherlock's trippy mind palace visit, Moriarity declared that no matter if he's dead, he will forever be part of Sherlock. Basically, he is the virus of Sherlock's brain. That definitely appears to be the case. Thankfully, Sherlock has Watson to keep an eye on him and bring him back to reality. Watson is Sherlock's saving grace.
Now, to know for certain if Moriarty is really dead, I guess fans will have to wait until Season 4 returns with new episodes. However, what does this mean? Is someone taking on the identity of Moriarty to torture Sherlock? Is there some kind of "invisible army," like that revealed during the story of Emilia, doing Moriarty's work now that he is dead? Does this have something to do with the name "Redbeard" that appeared in Mycroft's notebook?
Whatever the case, Sherlock definitely has his work cut out for him when Sherlock Season 4 returns sometime in 2017 on PBS.
Part of the cruciferous vegetable family, cauliflower is very high in vitamin C and has its fair share of vitamin K and folic acid too. Cauliflower is usually white and available year-round, but if you want to add some color to your table, get the orange and purple versions available in the colder months to create a more vibrant-looking side dish. In this recipe, I used all three colors, and my usual cauliflower rice came out a nice mixture of oranges, purples and whites.
You can serve cauliflower rice in any way you want — even raw to go in salads — but in this recipe I sautéed it quickly with pancetta (or bacon) and some Parmesan cheese. With just a few ingredients, you've got a healthier comfort food side dish.
1 head cauliflower (14 ounces yields about 3 cups of granules)
1/3 cup pancetta or bacon, diced
Olive oil
1/3 cup grated Parmesan
Salt and pepper
Fresh parsley, finely chopped
Directions:
Cut the cauliflower, and separate the florets from the stalks. You will need the florets and some tender stalks chopped from small to medium pieces. Put them in the food processor, and pulse until the florets become granules like rice.
In a large saucepan, fry the pancetta or bacon.
Discard the excess oil, leaving the pancetta in the saucepan, and drizzle with the olive oil.
Sauté the cauliflower for about 2 minutes, then add the Parmesan, and mix for about 30 seconds. Add salt and pepper to taste, then garnish with the fresh parsley.
Which is a damn shame, because cervical cancer, according to board-certified OB-GYN and female pelvic medicine specialist Antonio Pizarro, M.D., is "100% preventable." As in, none of the 250,000 cases of women living with cervical cancer in the United States have to happen.
That's not to say current cancer patients could have necessarily prevented their own cancers (I swear I'm not blaming the victim here!) — rather, the science, detection and prevention methods now available should be sufficient to eradicate the cancer going forward, so new and future cases don't occur. Great news, right?
Here's the thing, though: There still seems to be a disconnect between patient education and prevention measures, and women still don't seem to understand the critical importance of female pelvic health. In fact, a recent survey published by the Foundation for Women’s Cancer at Genentech found that women are more likely to have a regular hairstylist than OB-GYN, and only a small majority of survey respondents thought a regular OB-GYN visit is essential to good health.
Sorry, ladies, that's not good enough.
Women need to be visiting an OB-GYN or women's health specialist regularly because it's unlikely that other physicians will specifically bring up cervical cancer, Pap smears or other pelvic health issues. In fact, the survey indicates cervical cancer is one of the least likely topics to be discussed during a doctor's appointment, and even Pap smears are only brought up 61 percent of the time.
Pizarro explains it this way, "I talk about cervical cancer all the time. All women's health specialists and those who do preventive screening evaluations for women should discuss cervical cancer routinely with their patients, but I wouldn't fault health care providers for not discussing cervical cancer if their specialty does not intersect with this disease." See? If you're a woman, and you care about women's health issues, you need to be visiting a doctor with the expertise and knowledge to discuss and address women-specific health.
Cervical cancer detection and prevention
There are three things I hope you take from this article:
You need to schedule a regular OB-GYN visit.
Pap smears are specifically designed to detect cervical cancer and changes to the cervix that might indicate cervical cancer. They're your early detection tool — make sure you're getting a Pap test regularly!
Human papillomavirus is the virus that leads to cervical cancer — the HPV vaccine is incredibly effective at preventing the spread of the virus and is the key to eradicating future cancers. If you're still young enough to get the vaccine — get it. If you're not, make sure you're getting your children vaccinated.
Know that just because you go to an OB-GYN and have a pelvic exam, doesn't mean you've had a Pap done, "Unfortunately, many patients report that they underwent a Pap test even if only a pelvic exam was performed," Pizarro says. As the patient, you need to confirm your doctor is performing the appropriate screenings — don't just assume they're covering all the bases.
Also, you need to know that boys and girls can be vaccinated against HPV. This is critical information because HPV is sickeningly widespread, and early vaccination is the tool we have to prevent future contractions. According to Pizarro, "The CDC reports that around 30% of American women ages 14-29 carry the high risk form of HPV."
That's a lot of women, folks — 1 in 3.
Parents may want to avoid the HPV vaccine because it implies their children could become sexually active, but news flash — your children will become sexually active. According to Pizarro, "Most American children — 61% — will have become sexually active by age 18." But even if your child practices safe sex or remains abstinent until later in life, getting them vaccinated now is a crucial step to protecting them and their future partners down the line.
The vaccine is available for girls and boys from ages 9 to 26, and it can prevent the contraction and spread of this damaging disease. While boys may not be subject to cervical cancer, they can carry and transmit the infection to the women they have sex with. By vaccinating yourself, your daughters and your sons, you're taking an important step toward kicking cervical cancer's ass.
The most obvious example of this is dieting. When we diet, we put very poor, body-depriving habits onto a situation we want to change. Over time, dieting can morph into something much bigger and more diminishing: disordered eating or food addiction. No food plan, diet or expensive supplement can change the way our minds work, especially when enmeshed in a negative habitual thinking pattern.
After over 20 years of struggle, I finally got it. I was stuck with both a fat body and the thinking that created it.
I didn’t want a size 0 or even a 2 or 4 body. I didn’t want skinny jeans or a miniskirt. I wanted freedom from the mental anguish of food addiction, and I knew freedom was going to require going inside and changing. Thinking only got me more immersed in failure, shame and body hatred.
I wasn’t afraid of freedom — I was hungry for it. I wasn’t intimidated by the work involved — I was challenged.
If I wanted to make fat OK, I could change my mind about it — that would be a function of the mind. Though I have no quarrel with anyone wanting to do that, it didn’t feel healthy to me.
Losing over 90 pounds — and maintaining it for over 15 years — taught me how to get out of my mind and — slowly, incrementally — reclaim my body. I now believe it is the only way to lose weight and not regain it. Here are some of the things I received from my efforts:
1. Greater intelligence
Can you actually get smarter by using your mind less? Yes! The body has a wealth of valuable information we actively ignore when we overthink. I learned my body actively hated and rejected most of the foods I thought were healthy and ate for weight loss. It was constantly giving me — I was just hating on my body more because I didn’t want the feedback. There’s not much chance of success taking that route.
2. Owning my body
As a 242-pound woman, I thought a person could only own their body if they were thin. I use the term “owning” as feeling totally comfortable and confident inside your own skin. The women I knew who had body confidence were all thin. You can own your body at any size, but you can’t fake owning it. It shows. I learned I don’t have to be thin, perfect or classically formed to own my body — but there is nothing more powerful. When you own your body, you know who you are.
3. Greater emotional resilience
I think fat is stuck emotion made visible. As we live complicated lives, feeling less than positive about our bodies and treating them as the enemy — degrading, hating and starving the physical body — it reflects back on us, gathering a coat of fat for protection from negativity and the next starvation diet. Feeling fully connected to my body, my emotions are ever-present and easily discernible, certainly not as scary as built-up emotions buried in fat. This ever-present range of emotion gives my life depth, beauty, intuition and a profound, intimate connection to myself.
4. Mental clarity
When I began to eat for fuel, energy and vitality, my mind cleared. Yes, I was working to gain greater clarity on how my mind got involved, sabotaging me constantly, but this was something more. I learned the brain is not actually the most important organ in the body — the most important organ is the stomach, where everything begins. The mind doesn’t function well without proper nutrients.
5. Sexual expression
Sex invites us into the lusciousness of the body and its pure expressive nature. Great sex that anchors us even more deeply in the sensuality of the body is impossible if there is judgment and criticism towards the body. Connection to the deep well of sexual feeling is located — think about it — in the belly, often blocked by excess food. It’s common to substitute eating or binging for sexual expression, or to block feelings that may temporarily have no place to go due to circumstances of life and your current partner status.
6. Freedom
Most experts have the opinion that addiction cannot be healed. Furthered by the 12-Step Model of Recovery, which has helped many manage their addictions, few look beyond management to healing an addiction. When I realized I no longer felt that uncontrollable, compulsive leering urge towards food, I felt a freedom I’d longed to find my whole life.
7. Connection to soul
Beneath every breath, there is the soul. It is simply impossible to feel the soul, or discern its deep longing, if disconnected from the body. Indeed, I’ve come to believe most yearning for food, alcohol, drugs or other addictive substances or behaviors is a yearning for the soul, for connection to self and for true nurturing.
Given the wide range of gifts I received from doing the “inside job” of losing weight, I look back and wonder why I waited more than 20 years.
My advice, given my history and success, is to seize the opportunity and regain your amazing, brilliant body and gain an ally who’s always by your side.
Pat Barone, M.C.C., is a professional coach and creator of the Own Every Bite class — a body-centric approach to permanent weight loss. Pat's weight loss of over 90 pounds has been sustained since 2000.
This year, I realized I wanted to take a different direction with my career. I was excited, but terrified. I got to work, just like I always did. I worked around the clock, creating new programs, designing and marketing new content, creating a new content site, all while still spending endless hours doing my job as a gym trainer. As I put the finishing touches on everything, I found myself asking, "But how will I make this happen?"
Image: Tonya Whittle/SheKnows
With an upcoming trip to Europe with my best girlfriend, I decided to focus on it when I returned — so off to Dublin, Amsterdam, Berlin, Berchtesgaden and Salzberg we went. With quiet time and down time, I again found myself questioning if I could do this. I know what I want to create, but I'm just one person. Maybe my dreams are just too big. Who am I to think I can do this?
Upon my return home, I found my thoughts getting darker, my moods getting more unpredictable and I found myself angry and unmotivated. For the first time in more than a decade, I didn't want to train. I could barely muster the energy to get out of bed, and I turned away from friends and family. I stopped going to the gym. I began to drift aimlessly.
The truth was, I knew only two speeds — full tilt or nothing. I had been pushing myself full tilt for more than 15 years — working several jobs as I built my fitness business on the side, then full time in the fitness industry, which has draining hours by anyone's standards. As a sole business owner, I was doing everything and I had reached my "burned out" point, or at least that's what I thought.
When I discovered in the early fall that I was battling depression, I was actually shocked. I couldn't believe it. How could I have let this happen? I'm not that girl. I'm strong. I don't let stuff get to me! There I was, barely able to get out of bed each day, not showering for days at a time and not caring how I looked — or about anything, really.
I was surviving. I was afraid to tell anyone, but I knew I had to. I reached out to a shamanic healer I knew, and we began a shamanic healing process. She taught me to let go, to dig deep to see the root of my issues. And the thing we discovered? I wasn't feeling anything. I had shut down emotionally a very long time ago. I was driven to prove to myself that I was good enough, pretty enough... just enough. I was seeking that through my career: If I am successful enough, I will be loved, accepted and approved.
My final gift to myself in 2015 was a Date With Destiny, hosted by Tony Robbins in Florida. I was like a sponge, breakthrough after breakthrough, day in and day out. I was seeing things I had never seen about myself before — that I was scared to truly love because I viewed it as a weakness, and I never wanted to be weak again.I was building my life to move away from love and connection at all costs — duh, no wonder nothing made sense, no wonder I was feeling depressed and anxious. My business, my marriage, my friendships and all my relationships depend on love and connection. On one hand, I'd pull people in, but not too far, not so far that they could hurt me.
Now I know, I am already worthy — I am me. I actually love love. I was just scared to love and scared to show people the real me. I was scared to be hurt, to be rejected, so I pretended I didn't need any of those things, and eventually I believed it myself.
My motivation is no longer success to get acceptance and approval subconsciously, but to give love unconditionally, to be love, to be courage and to be faith. I realize my most painful experiences in life were gifts to help me grow as a person, to connect me to myself so I could inspire people from that place, a place of self-love and self-acceptance.
Life is meant to be lived fully. What I had been running towards at the beginning of the year was myself. That's what was missing from my life: the real, authentic me. I now have a profound understanding of why we do the things we do, not just an intellectual understanding, but a full feel-it-in-my-soul knowing. I finally know who I am, what I want in life, what I represent and what my path is... and it's paved with love.
This can either be one of the best experiences of your life — or one of the worst. If the couple you are with is fighting, it can make things very uncomfortable when traveling. The best part about traveling with another couple is you have another two people to explore the place you are visiting. If someone has been to the city you are in, then they can act kind of like a tour guide. Only going on vacations with couples you know very well is also important, as you do not want to get stuck in the middle of a fight between a couple that is volatile. A good tip is to not go on vacation with any new couples — as their first trip together may lead to fighting or even a breakup while traveling, which is something you don’t want to be involved with.
2. The vacation that is a disaster
Regardless of how well you plan a vacation, there is the possibility of it going very badly. There are couples that get into fights during a vacation, which can be a nightmare in itself. Planning for the worst and wishing for the best is something you can do if you encounter yourself on a trip that you wish you hadn’t gone on. Hopefully, the disaster vacation is close to your home, then you can just throw in the towel and go home. However, if it happens far from home on an expensive vacation, then toughing it out may be the best choice financially.
3. Theme park vacation
People tend to go on these when they are younger, and then again once they have children. The odds are, if you are an adult at a theme park, you probably have a child. With that being said, theme parks have been becoming much more adult friendly, so everyone in the family can have fun. Going to a theme park where you are interested in an attraction is a great thing to do with your child. If it is a shared interest, like the Star Wars attraction in Orlando, Florida, then you should do this as a bonding trip with your child or as an entire family.
4. All-inclusive vacation
This could be a vacation that you booked for yourself, or you could be attending a wedding held at one of these establishments. The relaxation of not having to bring money with you around the resort is quite liberating. The liberation of being in another country where you can’t use your cell phone is also great, as you are "living off of the grid" for a couple of days. Make sure to have at least one day to make an excursion to the surrounding areas, as exploring outside of the resort can be a blast. There are resorts that aren’t inclusive, but you will have to budget money for food and drinks during that time. The all-inclusive resorts take this out of the equation and leave vacation budgeting to those who have to pay for everything they eat and drink.
5. The road trip
This could be when moving to a new state, but the majority of people go on some kind of road trip in their life. Many people do these road trips when they are younger with friends, but family road trips can be just as fun. Young children might not be the best option to take on a long road trip, as a complaining child during a long car ride can test even the most patient of parents. Have fun on a road trip — this may be a trip that your family remembers for the rest of their lives. There is even a "perfect road trip" around the country, "according to scientists" that you can try.
Vacations can be a blast, but they can also be a disaster — so planning for the worst is important. Getting stuck in a foreign country is the nightmare of many people. Plan out some details, but leave the rest to chance for the best trip possible.
