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One way we can resist Trump's agenda? Raise conscious kids

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After the election, I felt an overwhelming responsibility to act and to resist all that a Trump presidency represents: racism, misogyny, xenophobia, homophobia, transphobia, elitism. I felt responsible as a white, straight, cisgender woman with class privilege to buck up and do something and do something fast. I was soon scattered in a million different directions trying to determine my best course of action. Divest. Donate. Protest. Boycott. Call government officials. Be loud. Listen more. Be in community with like-minded people. Be in community with friends and family with different ideologies. Engage. Disengage. Challenge. Give space.

There are so many ways to respond to Trump’s election, and I’m pretty much trying to do them all at once. It’s only been three weeks since 11/9 and I’m overwhelmed and frustrated that no clear path has revealed itself to me as THE righteous way forward. Multiple truths abound, there is so much need and it’s hard to sit in a place without clarity when I feel such a sense of urgency. My phone is always in hand, my thumb constantly refreshing Facebook and Twitter so I can bear witness in real-time to the next atrocious cabinet appointment, to the latest horrific act of harassment, brutality or vandalism, to the newest ridiculous tweet from our future commander-in-chief.

More: I have to tell my Muslim kids that some people will never accept them

But the other night, my four-year-old son reminded me that while I may be scattered around what actions to take as an individual, my strategy as a parent is crystal clear: Raise big-hearted children who are racially and socially conscious. This was true before the election. This remains true now.

My son was getting ready for bed and I asked him to pick out two books for us to read together.

i-am-jazz
Image: Amazon

My son asked to read I am Jazz first. I Am Jazz tells the true story of a transgender child’s path towards claiming her true gender identity. When we got to the part where Jazz is teased by some of her classmates, my son interrupted and said, “That’s not very nice.”

“No, it’s not,” I responded. “What would you do if you heard Jazz being teased?”

“I’d say, I don’t like that. We should be nice to each other!” I nodded in approval.

“It’s okay to be different from other kids,” I reminded him. “In this case, Jazz is different because she is transgender but like her mommy says, being different is cool! Her parents and her friends love Jazz for who she is.” My son said, “Yeah, they love her no matter what.”

full-of-love
Image: Amazon

Full, Full, Full of Love tells the story of Jay Jay, a Black child who spends every Sunday at his Grannie’s house for a family dinner.

My son noticed that everyone in Jay Jay’s family had brown skin and that in our family, we all have peachy skin. I agreed and said, “Yes, everyone in our family happens to be white. Jay Jay’s family might identify as black.” As we read it I took the opportunity to name race with my son, which I do openly and often. We are not raising our children to be colorblind, as research supports that pretending race doesn’t exist or doesn’t matter perpetuates racism.

More: I'm afraid for my kids after the election, but I will still teach them love

I then asked him what he thought our family had in common with Jay Jay’s family. “We all like to eat!” he said, laughing. “That’s true,” I giggled.

We finished our books and I tucked my son in. For the first time in many weeks, I felt really present and I felt filled with hope. Our seemingly small interaction hammered home the awesome opportunity and responsibility I have as a white parent with many privileges to raise kids who recognize and value differences instead of fear them. Teaching my children to have compassion and empathy, to understand privilege and power and to be advocates for themselves and for others is one way I can resist Trump’s hate-filled platform.

More: Why safety pins are not enough to stand up to discrimination

This is all a work in progress. I am in a work in progress. I get guidance, education and inspiration from organizations like Raising Race Conscious ChildrenRaising an AdvocateEmbraceRaceCharis Books & MoreMy Reflection MattersWeStoriesShowing Up For Racial Justice Families and more. Building community with like-minded parents has been crucial for me in order to hold myself accountable as well as feel less isolated. I cultivate strength and solidarity working alongside other parents who are striving to raise kids who embrace differences and combat injustice.

When I think about all the various actions I need to take to resist and reject Trump’s agenda as an individual, I remain somewhat scattered. When I think about the actions I can take to resist and reject Trump’s agenda as a parent, however, I feel laser focused. I feel powerful.


How your pre-pregnancy weight could impact your baby’s health

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While the weight a woman gains during pregnancy — and how fast she loses it (or doesn’t) after giving birth — have long been hot topics, people don’t seem to focus on or talk as much about weight before pregnancy. Studies have explored trends in pre-pregnancy BMI, including how increased maternal weight before pregnancy can up the odds of fertility problems, C-section deliveries and infant health issues such as macrosomia — but now, recent research shows that higher pre-pregnancy BMI may shorten a child’s lifespan.

In a study published in BioMed Central, researchers tested 768 Belgian mother-newborn pairs (the moms ranged from age 17 to 44) and found that the higher a woman’s pre-pregnancy BMI, the shorter a newborn’s telomeres tended to be. Telomeres are the protective parts of DNA strands that keep DNA intact (they’re likened to the caps at the end of shoelaces that prevent fraying). Every time a cell divides and copies itself throughout your lifetime, its telomere shortens; ultimately, it becomes too short to work, which prevents cells from replenishing. That’s why longer telomeres are a direct indication of longer lifespans, while the opposite is true of shorter ones.

"Prior to our study, there was no evidence of an association between pre-pregnancy BMI and newborn telomere length," said study co-author Professor Tim S. Nawrot.Compared with newborns of mothers with a normal BMI, newborns of women with obesity are older on a molecular level, because shortened telomere lengths mean that their cells have shorter lifespans… So maintaining a healthy BMI during a woman's reproductive age may promote molecular longevity in the offspring. Our results add to the growing body of evidence that high maternal BMI impacts fetal programming, which could lead to altered fetal development and later life diseases. The public health impact of our findings is considerable as in affluent societies about 30 percent of women of reproductive age are overweight."

Most of us are well aware of the health risks involved with being overweight, but this study brings a serious wake-up call about how our own weight as mothers could have life-altering consequences for our kids — even if you crash-diet and get healthy before getting pregnant. Of course, you and your doctor should take into account your BMI when you’re trying to get pregnant and how much total weight is healthy to gain (you can find out where you fall here). But regardless, this is one more reason to be vigilant about your health at all times and not just during convenient ones (i.e., bikini season). For more intel on why it’s easier — and smarter — to prevent weight gain than lose it after the fact, check out this study on how much harder it is to lose holiday pounds than fend them off in the first place.

My minister husband had a second family I didn't know about

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At 24, I didn’t know myself well enough to know that the social anxiety I had, the aversion to small talk, big groups and constant interaction wasn’t a defect. It was my natural propensity toward introversion and was simply who I was.

This would have been nice to have a thorough understanding of, when I met the smooth-talking, charismatic up-and-coming preacher. He had lofty ambitions for big ministry and I, being new to the faith, was sold on his dreams. I’d learned a lot about submission and the roles of women in the Evangelical church, so my goals were neatly packaged in a little box and placed in the back of the closet for the next thirteen years.

More: My ex's ex knew I deserved better than the relationship I was in

I didn’t know that getting hitched to him would mean being thrust into constant social interaction. I didn’t know it meant pressure to lead women’s groups, teach classes, be hospitable and available at all times. I didn’t know I’d have to pray out loud in front of people and give up all of my free time and time with my children to give to others. I didn’t know that his personality — charismatic, loud, extroverted and controlling — would not only thrust me into situations that overwhelmed me, but I would also have to give up the things that I loved.

There were new rules for me: No music that wasn’t Christian, no books that weren't about God. TV shows and movies I had previously enjoyed were off the table. I couldn’t write from my heart or experience because the past couldn’t be spoken of. This, as well as becoming the sole breadwinner for the family, so he could be free to “minister,” would be my new lot in life. Support your husband, submit to his views, honor him in all you do. Give up yourself to elevate him. After all, he’d be a famous preacher someday.

If not for that second family he had.

In one breathy phone call on a New Year's Eve, that life came unraveled. Carrying the little jelly bean in my belly that would eight months later be my daughter, I was contacted by a woman claiming to be enraptured with the man she knew as her boyfriend, the separated preacher who would be adopting her daughter and who had given her her own little jelly bean, due eight months later.

More: I tried to be friends with my abusive ex-husband

I was soothed with his charismatic words: “It’s me, baby. You know better. It has to be someone playing a joke on us”.

But I knew better.

How must he have felt in those moments as I sat slumped on the floor, crying? Questioning myself, What is wrong with me to make him do this? Is it weight gain? Is it that I’ve had no time for myself, being exhausted and wrought with loneliness and stress? Was the constant availability in the bedroom (a mandate, per the Bible) not enough?

As women will do, I pressed on. I kept my mouth shut. “You don’t want to bring down the whole ministry!” became my burden to carry. I stayed, we moved, we started over. We built a church, I smiled, led groups, worked nights, homeschooled my children and did everything to be sure his life was perfect. “Maybe he won’t do it again,” my natural assumption.

He was my polar opposite. For 13 years I felt like a heathen who didn’t serve God well enough. I longed for “sinful” things like good novels, a binge session of Sex and the City, the occasional lunch with a non-church friend. But I was swallowed up in his life.

Until one day, after what turned out to be incident number four, the oppressed, introverted, spiritually and emotionally abused pastor’s wife walked free. I took that little box of ME out of the closet, loaded she and my children into the car and left him in Florida with his mother, bound for my Arizona home and family. When we rounded the corner en route to Phoenix, I was frozen with terror for the future. I was alone.

More: Sleeping separately didn't end my marriage, it strengthened it

I knew someday my sweet fellow introvert would be out there. I had to hold on to hope that there was someone kind and like-minded in the world with whom I could be myself. There was a man who could sit on the couch and watch Orange is The New Black with me and share Stephen King novels. He’d love my squishy thighs and how I look without makeup. We’d be so alike we’d finish each other’s thoughts.

And here he is next to me.

I learned the most valuable life lesson in those thirteen years: Do not lose yourself.

If you ever have to choose between saving a very broken marriage or saving your cracked and broken soul, always, always, always, choose the latter.

Shark Tank's PetPlate is a great option for your dog... if you're rich

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I'm a crazy dog mom. So crazy, in fact, that when I found out my dog, Westley, has a sensitive tummy, I promptly began meal prepping for him myself. I bought safe, natural ingredients like chicken, liver and sweet potato and even dried-out eggshells for calcium in order to make sure he was getting a balanced diet that wouldn't cut years off his life like some of those gross dried foods.

More: Shark Tank is hands down the best place to find Christmas gift ideas

And here's the best part: I was spending less in a month prepping his food that way than if I had gone for one of those fancy brands at the pet boutiques. The total came out to roughly $75 a month.

The bad part was that I was slaving in the kitchen to prepare his meals for the week. Oh, and the fact that all my sane friends were giving me the side eye every time I fed my dog.

Since then, I've found a healthy, dry alternative by working with my vet, but I still want to make sure that I'm giving my furry child the best nutrition possible.

More: The Shark Tank Sharks don't need to force the drama

When I saw PetPlate enter the Shark Tank tonight, I thought, "Finally, maybe there's a fresh pet food product that I could jump on board with!"

Until I saw the price tag, that is.

For my 30-pound cocker spaniel mix, I would be paying about $50 a week on PetPlate's plan. That's $200 a month, which is about my personal grocery budget for me to eat, and I'm a 135-pound human. Their prices range from $20 a week to upwards of $90 a week if you have a dog that weighs 91 to 100 pounds. I'm sorry, but that's insane! And coming from me, the crazy dog mom, that's saying something.

The reason I'm so disheartened by PetPlate's price point is because I believe in the mission behind the company, and I love that they are trying to make changes to the dog food industry in a way that it desperately needs to be changed.

More: Shark Tank's Lori Greiner always gets the best investments

I would love to have Westley on a plan like this without putting in the time in the kitchen again to do it myself, but PetPlate, for my budget, just doesn't make sense.

Would you spend $200 a month on pet food? Do you think PetPlate is worth the cost?

11 pairs of tights editors can’t live without

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Tights may not be the most exciting things in your wardrobe, but damn if they aren’t some of the most important. At their best, they should feel like a second skin—skimming your legs, holding you in in all the right places, making everything from the waist down silky and smooth to the touch.

But in reality, most fall short of this promise; either they’re majorly itchy, rip in a single wear, sag at the crotch, or dig into your waist, leaving angry red marks when you take them off. Sometimes all of the above. Plus, they can get expensive—and only some of the spendier ones are worth the added cost. I’ve held on to pairs I hate for years because I figure it’s better than finding myself with nothing to put on my legs while all the good ones are in the wash (this is a habit I’m trying to break in the name of self-care).

More: 5 Upstart Minimalist Brands to Know Before They Hit the Big Time

Back to those good ones, though: once you find them, it’s glorious. You want to have them on all the time—even to bed, sometimes (when it’s really cold and the thought of taking them off—even to put on PJs—is truly unappealing). Because I’m always on the hunt for hosiery that doesn’t suck, I asked my colleagues for their faves—found, in certain cases, after years of trial and error.

More: 10 New Sock-and-Shoe Combos to Try This Season

Below, see the tights—opaque, thermal, fishnet, and more—that seven STYLECASTER editors are most loyal to.

Individual 50 Leg Support

Individual 50 Leg Support
Image: Wolford

“In a perfect world I’d never have to wear tights (I don’t enjoy the cold at all and try to stay bare-legged as much as possible) but I live in New York City so sadly, that’s not realistic. My aversion to winter has resulted in a years-long refusal to spend more than $10 on tights, but I’m only making the season worse for myself because those pairs are rarely comfortable and tend to rip pretty easily. This year, I’ll be buying tights from Wolford. My sister swears by them and I’ve heard nothing but rave reviews from friends. They’re pricey, but they look so luxe. Fingers crossed they’ll make winter a bit more bearable.”—Leah Faye Cooper, editorial producer  (Wolford, $61)

Fleece Tights

Fleece Tights
Image: Kushyfoot

“These fleece-lined tights are pretty much the only reason I wear dresses and skirts in the winter, otherwise I’d be living in pants from late-November through March. They are super soft and insulated—it feels like pulling a warm blanket over your legs. Plus, you can pick them up at most drugstores, which is aces in my book.”—Cristina Velocci, managing editor (Kushyfoot, 8.99)

Luxe Leg Tights

Luxe Leg Tights
Image: Spanx

“I’m really not much of a shapewear girl, but the control top on these sucks me in without making me feel like I’m wearing a corset. They pair especially well with form-fitting dresses so everything looks a little bit smoother, and I don’t have to sacrifice comfort or range of motion. Win!”—Cristina Velocci, managing editor (Spanx, $28)

Oversized Fishnet Tights

Oversized Fishnet Tights
Image: ASOS

“I ordered these oversized fishnets from ASOS a few weeks back and just ordered another pair before they sell out because I love them so much—the fishnet pattern gets a little tighter in the toes, but because they don’t have that ugly reinforcement strip, I can wear them with open-toes shoes (before it gets too cold).”—Lauren Caruso, site director  (ASOS, $9.02)

Donna Karan Hosiery Signature Perfect Opaque Tights

Donna Karan Hosiery Signature Perfect Opaque Tights
Image: Bare Necessities

“These tights are beyond soft and mine have lasted me for years. They’re also totally opaque (like, could wear them as pants if you were so inclined—though maybe not out of the house) and don’t dig into your waist at all, which is my ultimate pet peeve.”—Hilary George-Parkin, fashion editor  (Bare Necessities, $20)

Ind. 100 Leg Support Tights

Ind. 100 Leg Support Tights
Image: Wolford

“Ah yes, the holy grail of opaque tights. These are pretty close to perfect as far as hosiery goes, and while, yes, the price is about equivalent to a pair of jeans, the cost-per-wear ends up being pennies, since they’re basically indestructible. Plus, they're warm enough to stand up to New York winters, which is nice when I'm feeling too stubborn to just put on some damn pants instead.”—Hilary George-Parkin, fashion editor  (Wolford, $85)

Hue Women’s Opaque Sheer-to-Waist Tight

Hue Women’s Opaque Sheer-to-Waist Tight
Image: Amazon

“There’s a reason why these are top-rated on Amazon: they’re perfectly soft and just the right amount of sheer without feeling like you’re wearing air. Plus, they’re long enough for my insanely long, 36” inseam, which is hard to find. Tall ladies (on a budget), buy these!”—Chloe Metzger, beauty editor (Amazon, $7.50)

Autograph 60 Denier Velvet Touch Opaque Tights

Autograph 60 Denier Velvet Touch Opaque Tights
Image: Marks & Spencer London

“My friend in London swears by these, and I bought a pair at her suggestion when I was in town a few years ago. They check off every box I look for in tights: warm, comfortable at the waist, and completely opaque. Favorite tights ever.”—Bibi Deitz, news editor  (Marks & Spencer London, $12)

Heattech Tights

Heattech Tights
Image: Uniqlo

“Uniqlo’s Heattech is amazing for winter. I always layer their leggings and tights under jeans when it gets frigid outside—and these tights can also stand up to the cold solo, even on the chilliest days.”—Bibi Deitz, news editor (Uniglo, $7.90 (was $9.90)

Super Opaque Tights

Super Opaque Tights
Image: Gap

“The Gap is another great go-to for opaque black tights that are warm but also comfy—and they stand the test of time.”—Bibi Deitz, news editor (Gap, $14.95)

Calvin Klein Opaque Essentials Seam-Free Tights

Calvin Klein Opaque Essentials Seam-Free Tights
Image: Bare Necessities

“I like Calvin Klein’s silky seam-free ones! So soft, never itchy.”—Hannah Hickok, lifestyle editor (Bare Necessities, $16)

Originally posted on StyleCaster.com

Joyful names for your baby boy

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If your baby is a long-awaited addition to your family or a much-beloved surprise, chances are you have been feeling a lot of happiness as you await the big day. Looking for a baby name isn’t always an easy task, but focusing on names that describe your feelings of happiness is a good place to start.

More: Country music-inspired baby boy names that will pluck your heartstrings

Are you hoping your baby is a happy little soul, full of cheer and joy? While giving a baby a name with a meaning like "happy" doesn't mean your child will actually be happy all the time (because really, most babies have sad moments!), it's still a fun way to brainstorm potential baby names.

From unusual names like Radimir to more familiar monikers like Asher, all these baby names mean happy, joy or cheerful — or a combo.

happy baby boy names
Image: Design: Terese Condella/SheKnows; Image: Getty Images

More: Nicknames that make great baby names for boys

  • Alaire: This name with Latin roots means "cheerful"
  • Arnan: Meaning “quick, joyful,” this name has Hebrew origins
  • Asher: Meaning "happy," this name has Hebrew roots
  • Caius: This quirky Latin name means "happy"
  • Ellery: This name is related to a Latin name that means "cheerful"
  • Faine: Of Old English origin, this name means "happy, joyous"
  • Felix: This amazing name means both "happy" and "lucky"
  • Gaillard: Of Middle English origin, this name means "cheerful, brave, spirited"
  • Gaius: Another Latin name, this means "happy"
  • Gale: Though this name may be more popular now because of The Hunger Games, this is an older name that means "cheerful, happy"
  • Gilam: This unique Hebrew name means "joy of a people"
  • Gilon: Similar to Gilam, this Hebrew name also means "joy"
  • Hani: This Arabic baby boy name means "full of joy"
  • Harshad: This rare Hindi name means "bringer of joy"
  • Helge: This brilliant Nordic name means "successful, happy"
  • Ilario: Meaning "cheerful," this name has Latin roots
  • Keyes: A unique name, this is probably related to the name Kay, which means "happy"
  • Masos: Meaning "happiness," this name has Hebrew origins
  • Oron: This name means "light, joy"
  • Osher: Meaning “happiness, good fortune,” this name has Hebrew roots
  • Radimir: Of Slavic origin, this means “famous joy”
  • Rufaro: This Shona name means “happiness, elation”
  • Tait: An Old Norse name, this means "cheerful, happy"
  • Tate: Similar to the Nordic name Tait, this Middle English name means “cheerful”
  • Winston: An Old English name, this means “joyful stone”

More: These baby boy names have got serious swagger


Before you go, check out our slideshow below:

hospital newborn outfits
Image: St. Clair Hospital

How to avoid painful injuries while cooking through the holidays

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I sliced off the tip of my pinky finger with a vegetable peeler this past Thanksgiving. I was peeling potatoes with an old, dull peeler, and I got a little impatient and raised the potato off the cutting board. Let me tell you what I learned.

  1. No one likes blood in their mashed potatoes, and no, you will not fool anyone into thinking it's cranberry sauce.
  2. You never realize how useful that pinky finger is until you put it out of commission.
  3. Even someone who has been cooking for (ahem) two decades can make stupid mistakes in the kitchen.

Everyone, not just beginners, but everyone could use a refresher on kitchen safety, especially around the holidays when we're cooking more and we're busier. Here's a few tips to keep in mind so you don't accidentally wind up with fake cranberry sauce on your potatoes.

More: Guy Fieri's tips to sharpen your knife skills

1. Careful with the can opener

"Some of the most common cuts that send people to the emergency room are from opening cans and slicing open hands with knives," says Sarah Brown home safety expert for SafeWise, a home and community safety website. "The best way to prevent these kinds of accidents is to stay focused on the task you are performing. If you can help it, use a mechanical can opener with a magnet to hold the lid of the can so you don't have to pry it out yourself." Also, never try to open a can with a knife. Oh my God, do not do that.

2. Keep your knives sharp

Believe it or not, a dull knife is more dangerous than a sharp knife. That's because a dull knife can slip or jump on you. Get your knives professionally sharpened every year if you can. At the least, hone the blade so it's straighter.

As for your peelers, you should replace those every couple of years. Mine was around six or seven years old, and for an ordinary, non-magical peeler, that's too old.

3. Use your claw

"When chopping with your chef’s knife, first slice any non-flat food to create a stable, flat base so that it won’t wobble on your cutting board," says Tsippora Shainhouse, a dermatologist and a culinary school graduate. "Then, make sure that you hold the food with a ‘clawed hand.’ This means holding with the tips of your fingers and thumb, so that you create a 90 degree/perpendicular angle to the food surface and parallel line with your knife motion."

Don't splay out your fingers like this. No! Use the hand position you see in the photo at the top of this article.

cutting
Image: PeopleImages/Getty

For extra security, keep a damp towel under your cutting board to keep it from slipping around on you.

More: 3 essential chopping techniques to improve your knife skills

4. Mandolin the food, not your knuckles

Shainhouse admits she sliced the skin off her knuckle last year when she ignored her own rules for using a mandolin. First, if yours comes with a prong that sticks into the vegetable while you slice, definitely use it.

"Also, don’t worry about wasting the last centimeter or so of the vegetable if it means keeping your digits intact," Shainhouse adds. "It is easy to get mesmerized when using the mandolin because it so simple to use and it really does produce beautiful, evenly sliced vegetables. Keep your eyes on your hand because once you near the end of the vegetable, the skin on your fingers will be next."

5. Use gloves when you grate

Shainhouse says she wears thick dishwashing gloves when she uses a box grater. "That way, I can see when my fingers are getting close, and I can feel when my fingers are touching the box, but can stop before my fingers or nails get grated."

Again, don't risk your fingers or knuckles just to grate that last tiny piece of cheese down to nothing. Just pop it in your mouth. I mean, it's cheese, and you kind of want to eat the last bit anyway, don't you?

6. Remember: A towel is not an oven mitt

"Always use oven mitts when removing things from the oven," Brown cautions. "Some people use a towel laying around and it results in a burn." Not only that, a towel can catch on fire if it gets too close to a stove flame.

Be careful about touching the stovetop around the burners since the surface can also get hot sometimes. And make sure you stand back a little when you open the oven or lift a lid from a pot so the steam doesn't burn you.

7. Mop it before you slip in it

If you spill a liquid or slippery foods like beans on the floor, clean them up right away. Brown says leaving the spill is dangerous because it can lead to falls. And it's not just about falling down — you can hit your head or your elbow on a table or chair on your way down and seriously injure yourself.

8. Watch your pot handles

This is so important: Watch where the handles of your pots and pans are when they're on the stove. "Keep the handles of your pots turned inward so that people don't accidentally bump what's cooking," Brown says.

9. Clean blades carefully

You know that S-blade for your food processor? Be so very careful when you clean it after using it. "My tip is to wash the S-blade separately," says Shainhouse. "Never place it in a basin of soapy water with other equipment. Then, do not place it on your drying rack because it can fall out and/or slice your finger when you reach for something else on the rack. Always dry it immediately and place it back inside the processor or in its specific blade box."

Let me tell you a sad story. Once I washed the S-blade of my food processor and I left it to dry on a rack near the sink. Later, my then-5-year-old son reached over it to get to a mango from a basket nearby. He sliced open his hand, we had to run to the ER and he got so many stitches.

10. You've got a fire extinguisher, right?

Hopefully, you'll never have to use it. But make sure you know where it is, you know how to use it, and you can grab it quickly without freaking out.

Now. Say you've broken one of your safety rules and you've got a nasty cut. What's the protocol?

Shainhouse says to apply direct pressure for 10 straight minutes. Then check if it's bleeding. If it is, hold for another 10 minutes. At that point, you can gently rinse it off, apply antibiotic ointment, and cover with a bandaid.

Otherwise, if it's still bleeding it's time to go to the ER. "If it is still bleeding, you may need a stitch and should have the wound evaluated at an urgent care or emergency room," she says.

Another important tip: "If you cannot bend the cut finger or if you have numbness of the finger, you must be evaluated in the emergency room to rule out a damaged tendon or nerve." This happened to one of my colleagues, and her wound was worse and took much longer to heal because she waited a day to see the doctor. So take this stuff seriously.

We're not here to scare you. We just want to make sure you get through the holidays safely, without any painful injuries disrupting you fun. So with that reminder, enjoy cooking and baking injury free.

Before you go, check out our slideshow below.

5-ingredient slow cooker recipes
Image: Iowa Girl Eats

How to have a happy holiday as a new adoptive parent

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Now that you're a parent via adoption, you have even more of a reason to celebrate the holiday season. Even so, there can still be some difficulty, from setting traditions to the emotions surrounding your child’s birth family. To help, here is how to enjoy the holiday season as an adoptive parent and clear any hurdles you may face.

Preparing for relatives’ questions

Much like when couples are trying to conceive, adoptive parents may receive intrusive questions. Be prepared for questions like:

  • “Who is the real mom?”
  • “Why was he/she put up for adoption?”
  • “Why did the mom give him/her away?”
  • “How much did he/she cost?”

Handling these offensive adoption questions can be tricky, especially with extended relatives you only see once or twice a year. Try to use this as an opportunity to educate family members about the adoption process, like how you are legally the ‘real’ parent of your child or that your child didn’t ‘cost’ anything more than any other child.

More: When you're ready to adopt but your partner isn't

Setting traditions

This is a fun hurdle that every family faces when they approach the holidays with children. Some couples choose to incorporate each family’s traditions into their holiday celebrations while others blaze their own trail and create new traditions. When you are an adoptive parent, you can also incorporate traditions and foods from your child’s birth family in order to keep a piece of their history in your celebrations. Whatever you choose, don’t let anyone make you feel guilty about the traditions you create for your family.

More: 4 tips to make the adoption process way less scary

Managing the emotions of adoptive parenting

This can be the most difficult part about approaching the holidays as an adoptive parent. There is so much emotion wrapped up in the holidays, especially your first holiday season that you have spent a long time dreaming about. In my line of work, I often see adoptive parents struggling to make the best decisions for their family during this time of year. The reason is that instead of making logically sound decisions on what is best for the baby, they often make decisions based in the guilt that comes from feelings of indebtedness to the child’s birth mother. Including your child’s birth mother in holiday celebrations is an absolutely wonderful approach for many families. But, as with any other family member, the specifics and logistics of the plans should be ones that work with the baby’s schedule, health and well-being. After all, a happy baby makes for a happy event.

More: Domestic adoption isn't as scary or impossible as it may seem

A good way to keep excess guilt out of your decision-making when making plans with your child’s birth family (or anyone else, for that matter) is to ask yourself, “How would I respond if I were making plans with my cousin or brother-in-law or other extended family member?” Taking this approach will help you objectively provide options that keep the focus on the baby and fill everyone’s holiday season with joy and love.

Nicole Witt is the owner of The Adoption Consultancy, an unbiased resource serving pre-adoptive families by providing them with the education, information and guidance they need to safely adopt a newborn, usually within three to 12 months.


Loved ones, please stop asking when we're going to have kids

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The first time I got asked “The Question” it took me by surprise. “You’re 30 now, and those eggs won’t last forever, when are you going to get down to making babies?” 

More: No one wants a Christmas card about my single and childless life

I promptly choked on my turkey, turned a shade of red darker than my hair, and mumbled something about potentially needing a baby making partner first. When “artificial insemination” was mentioned as the cranberries were passed, I realized I was going to need a better answer. Flustered I mumbled something about paying off student loans, needing to buy a house, and something about wanting to be comfortable wearing my big girl pants first.

Fortunately the conversation was temporarily tabled, but for many people who are child free – by choice or by circumstance – the relentless questioning can be exhausting. And it being peek holiday get-together season, unfortunately the prying is extra intense this time of year.

For that reason, I asked our Community how they handle these questions, and the answers were enlightening.

“Honestly, pregnancy is a little scary. I know it's a beautiful thing, but lets be honest. It's also really terrifying. Some of us don't look forward to that stage of life, not because of superficial reasons, but out of sheer terror. Maybe it's immature, perhaps I should grow up. But at 36 years old, despite my desire to definitely have children, it doesn't make my fear of that unknown place any less real.” – Bee Mandelberg

“My response lately has been 'The Lord hasn't told me who my husband who is.' I'm 34 and I'm single. I have a lot of nieces, nephews and godchildren that I can spoil. My mom always said to enjoy my 20s, so I did. Now I'm in my 30s and I'm enjoying those as well. Do I want kids? Yes! Will I have any? I don't know. In the mean the meantime I'll spoil the other children I have claimed, continue to travel and enjoy my career.” – Kimberlee Stevenson

“I am too old to answer that question anymore. As a single, professional woman over the age of 40, I feel like this question is no longer appropriate no matter who is asking. I am finally comfortable with being able to tell people that asking about me having kids that it is an inappropriate question.” – Sharice Bradford

“I wouldn't be doing the world any favors by adding more children to it. There are more children in the world than there are people to care for them. I don't make decisions in my life based on what we are all supposed to do or the idea of what is societally normal. I make decisions based on happiness and what makes sense. I want love and happiness above everything. That is more important to me than checking off boxes: kids, house, dog, etc. And, I have never felt any sort of burning need or desire for children.” – Brooke Herron

More: 11 reasons my dog is better than a boyfriend

“I don't want children. I don't need any of my own. I can always borrow one or two, and when they get annoying, hand them back to their progenitors. I am not maternal. I do not have the nesting instinct where I have this need to populate the world with someone who has part of my DNA. So, whenever anyone asks me if I have kids, I always reply, ‘None that I know of. I mean, no one's ever knocked on my door and told me that I was their mom.’ If someone asks me if I like children, I reply, ‘Double-battered, dipped in panko, then lightly salted.’ If they persist, I have two answers, ‘Children smell at both ends, I don't find that appealing,’ and the second answer is, ‘Jonathan Swift was right.’” – PJ Gach

“My husband and I are both intelligent people, and reasonably attractive as well – we get asked all the time why we don't have children. We discussed it at length before we got married and a few times again after we got married – we just don't want/aren't ready for kids. We have a few answers which we use, depending on who is asking: We are still enjoying our freedom/sleep/money/dogs/travel. We don't want to bring kids into the world right now with everything so out of control and miserable. I'm too old. We aren't really kid people. We might adopt, or foster, later when we are more settled and stable. We are a military couple so our lives are dictated by things we cannot always control. Thankfully, my mother, and his mother, have come to terms with the fact that they have granddogs and not grandchildren.” – Andrea Vallejos

 “I had a lot of excuses about not having kids. Ranging from anything to, 'I don't want to deal with a mini-dictator' to 'I can barely take care of myself, how could I possibly take care of a child?' I still stick with the latter as I'm a child at heart with no fixed address. I chose travel over kidlets and whenever I hang out with my friends with kids, it solidifies my choices as good ones. I don't feel like I'd be a good mentor to a child so it was best to deal with my own self development.” – Loraine Couturier

“I typically go with brutal honesty. I can barely take care of myself and I don't really need a germ breeding kid needing my love and attention all the time. Basically, it's not kids, it's me.” – Laura Dembowski

“If I just tell people "I can't afford kids" then I don't have to explain how I also don't want a ruined vagina and to have to be THOSE people at a restaurant for the next 18 years.” – Samantha Clarke

More: 12 women confess the real story behind their breakups

I refuse to let my chronic illnesses get in the way of my sex life

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We were right there. Panting, sweating, moaning. So damn close when...

POP!

Pain flooded my body as reality set in: my hip had popped out of place. And I was on top. Almost a year later, doctors diagnosed me with ankylosing spondylitis (AS), a form of arthritis that primarily affects the hips and pelvis. At the time of this could-have-been-ruined moment, I had no clue. But the experience perfectly captures the changes, frustration, and ludicrousness that chronic illness has introduced to my sex life - and why sex is more important than ever to my relationship.

In addition to AS, I also have Crohn's disease. Most people aren't that familiar with either. Plus they're pretty invisible - you couldn't look at me and know. To give you an idea of the impacts these diseases have on my relationship, since getting diagnosed with both earlier this year, my beau has seen me through two colonoscopies (and thus two colonoscopy preps - which if you've had one you know is the worst), 5 MRIs (and the accompanying back spasms, pain, and tears), dozens urine tests, stool samples and blood draws, a super restricted diet (no meat, dairy, sugar, caffeine, or spicy foods and low fiber), hours of self trigger point & myofascial release (and crying because holy shit it hurts), an eating disorder relapse, several new medication regimens and all their side effects, over 50 doctor's appointments (I hit a record in June with 24), hundreds of days dealing with crippling pain, toxic smelling gas, and a myriad of other make-me-feel-less-than-sexy-symptoms.

Image: Kait Scalisi

My partner has helped me get dressed more often than I'm willing to admit, checked my bum for hemorrhoids (there was a flashlight involved and it was awkward AF), cooked dinner (and did the dishes) after working 12+ hour days, and held me together while I fell apart... again.

So while we're still partners and lovers, there's also a new dynamic in our relationship: that of caretaker and patient. Making space for this hasn't been easy. Thankfully, as a sex educator, I have access to the information, tools and support that helped us navigate somewhat seamlessly.

More: Sleeping separately didn't end my marriage, it strengthened it

What is love sex? Redefining sex as more than penis-in-vagina

As a result of all these physical and relationship changes, sex has become a brand new adventure. Spontaneity has lessened. In it's place are questions like "Will my hip pop out (again)?" or "How gassy am I? Does it smell? How badly?" or "How fatigued am I?"

The answers determine what sex acts we do and in what positions. As you can probably guess, there are a lot of obstacles to intercourse! All "the other stuff" — cuddling, sensation play, handjobs, oral sex, mutual masturbation, and self-pleasure — has become increasingly important. They don't take as long if my fatigue is high, they give me more control over what happens and it's easier to make a quick exit.

More: My ex's ex knew I deserved better than the relationship I was in

If this sounds like a lot of work, it is! Living with a chronic illness is hard, and that applies to your sex life as well. Despite what many people think, all this planning doesn't take away from the sexiness. For us, it builds anticipation and pleasure. Getting so sick this year forced us to not only accept it but learn to enjoy it. Plus, we appreciate the spontaneous moments so much more now even as we grieve their loss.

Image: Kait Scalisi

Other aspects of our relationship have changed too. Everyday intimacy — touching as often as possible, warm hellos and goodbyes, spending quality time together, deeper conversations about life, emotions, current events, feminism, sustainability, you name it — all happen more frequently now. We can't be sexual as frequently or in the ways we want, so we've found others ways keep our connection and passion strong.

Pleasure is healing

Being sick, with all of it's life changes and obstacles, has made #freedominpleasure more important than ever. Physiologically, pleasure reduces my stress, decreases my pain and calms my guts. Mentally and emotionally, it offers an escape from the challenges of my new normal. Relationship-wise, it helps keep us connected on all levels, from laughing together at Seinfeld reruns to exploring each other's bodies in detail to discovering new restaurants, bars, free events, and more.

Image: Kait Scalisi

In those moments of pleasure I'm not worried or even thinking about anything but what I feel. Yes it can be interrupted by a joint misbehaving, a fart sneaking out or whatever else weird thing my body decides to do. But for some blissful minutes or hours, it's just my body giving me the ultimate gifts of pleasure, presence and escape. And in the grand scheme of things, these will be what keep me sane, grounded and help me navigate the many tough times ahead.

More: What it's really like to be in a Dom/sub relationship

3 ways to handle the gross-out factor in relationships

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It’s an inevitable moment in long-term relationships: You’ve been seeing each other for awhile, you’ve passed the no-appetite nervous butterflies stage, and you’ve started to let down your guard as you allow this person to get to know the real, whole you. That’s great, because who can sustain the whole “I don’t poop and I just woke up fresh-faced and flaw-free” façade of early dating? The problem isn’t that it’s inauthentic—it’s just a damn lot of effort.

More: Sleeping separately didn't end my marriage, it strengthened it

Getting to the point where you and your partner can be less-than-sexy in front of each other is necessary and healthy if you’re going to be together for the long haul. On the other hand, keeping the spark alive takes work, and every time someone picks their nose or passes gas in front of the other person, there’s a small risk of eroding the mystery that can keep romance alive. Of course you won’t and shouldn’t pretend you don’t do these things, but how do you know where to draw the line between “appropriately comfortable” and “please don’t do that in front of me ever again”? (If you want a horror story, listen to the woman who called relationship expert Dan Savage and asked what to do about her boyfriend picking his eye boogers.)

To get some perspective, I asked psychiatrist and relationship therapist Dion Metzger, MD, for her advice. Here’s what she told me.

More: What to Do When Your Guy Has Problems Below the Belt

1. If You’ve Had Sex, it’s Time to Let Go a Little.

Metzger says that once you’ve slept together, she thinks letting down your guard is OK and healthy. “My rule is if you’re comfortable enough to be having sex, then you can pretty much comfortable enough for anything else,” she says. “This person has seen you naked—how much more can be revealed really? This can mean from your partner watching you floss, not feeling embarrassed if your partner sees the tampons exploding in your bathroom drawer, or just watching you wash your pits while you shower.”

2. Take It as a Good Sign.

Look, if you’re not thrilled that your partner is fine with belching in front of you or not showering for days at a time, I don’t blame you. I’ve been there—as the victim and perpetrator of such DGAF relationship behavior. It just isn’t hot! But, says Metzger, there’s a silver lining: “I’ve noticed that it helps strengthen relationships,” she says. “Couples who feel more relaxed to be themselves do better. They get to learn more about the real person rather than the seemingly perfect, polished image that most try to portray in the first several dates.” So at least let it warm your heart to know that in a weird way, this is actually a sign of progress and love.

3. Go With the Flow—Until You Can’t.

If there’s a particular gross habit that your partner has that gives you above-average heebie jeebies (see the aforementioned eye boogers), you can totally say something. “It’s pretty subjective what’s considered over-the-top behavior that’s crossing a boundary, but it’s OK to bring it up—just not in a mean way,” says Metzger. “For instance, you could calmly say, ‘Babe, could you close the door when you’re using the bathroom?'” That shouldn’t be too hard. As for the smaller, everyday things that might make you roll your eyes but not gag, it’s probably best to let them go, says Metzger. “Don’t stress it too much,” she says. “Most people overthink this and end up feeling more anxious during their time together rather than enjoying it. Whenever you can, don’t make this the focus of your relationship, and try to go with the flow.”

More: 7 Effective Ways to Improve Your Relationship’s Emotional IQ

Originally posted on StyleCaster.com

Forget the baby name books and turn to your calendar for inspiration

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Forget the baby name books and turn to your calendar for baby name inspiration!

More: 9 tried-and-true tips for traveling with kids over the holidays

A child's day, month or season of birth can take on another layer of meaning by inspiring their name, and it's more common than you might think. A wide range of African names refer to a day of the week, and in many other parts of the world, baby names reference a season, such as the Finnish Suvi (Summer) and the Japanses Haruko (Spring child).

Days of the week baby names

  • Tuesday: Tuesday's child is full of grace, apparently, and this day name definitely has a certain elegance. Actress Tuesday Weld (who changed her name from Susan Ker Weld) helped this name climb the charts.
  • Wednesday: The world's most famous Wednesday is the Addams Family character played by Christina Ricci, and despite her macabre nature it has a certain something.
  • Sunday: When Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban named their daughter Sunday the name became a real player among calendar-inspired baby names.

Months of the year baby names

  • January: After the bestselling 1973 book Once is Not Enough, which featured a character called January Wayne and was later made into a movie, the first month of the year was the baby name choice for the 1978-born January Jones, who went on to become a Mad Men star.
  • March: March is unlikely to ever be as popular as August as a baby boy month name, but it might appeal to parents looking for a shaper sound.
  • April: Old-fashioned April was once the most popular month name, but has been overtaken by June for girls and August for boys. The French version Avril (as in Lavigne) gives the name an edge.
  • May: Perhaps more popular as a middle name than a first name, May is nonetheless a fresh, pretty name which began as one of the many pet forms of Mary and Margaret.
  • June: Another old-fashioned name that's back on the radar as a middle name favorite, June is the name of Balthazar Getty's daughter and the middle name of Amanda Peet's daughter Molly.
  • August: Although it's more common for boys, August is known as a baby girl name too — singer Garth Brooks is one famous parent who chose it for his daughter.
  • September: If you like a longer name than the springtime months offer, three-syllable September is a more contemporary choice.

Seasons of the year baby names

  • Spring: Spring is the rarest season name, but Oscar- and Emmy-nominated actress Spring Byington is one famous bearer.
  • Summer: Summer isn't as popular now as it was in the 1970s, but it's still in the U.S. top 200, perhaps due to TV and film characters in (500) Days of Summer, Napoleon Dynamite, Baywatch, The O.C. and The Mentalist.
  • Autumn: The most popular of the four season names, Autumn reached an all-time high of No. 69 in 2011. Actress Jennifer Love Hewitt named her daughter Autumn James, and there's even an Autumn in the royal family: Canada-born Autumn Kelly married Queen Elizabeth‘s oldest grandson, Peter Phillips, in 2008.
  • Winter: Nicole Richie and Joel Madden are responsible for Winter's position as an authentic baby name choice — they named their daughter Harlow Winter Kate. Actress Gretchen Mol and media boss Sean Parker chose Winter for first names. But Winter has a far longer history as a baby name; kit was used as a a first name as early as the seventeenth century.

More: This printable guide is about to solve all your baby-naming squabbles

Becca Tilley finally confirms she's dating another Bachelor Nation member

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You don't have to be on the same season of The Bachelor, The Bachelorette or even Bachelor in Paradise to find love within Bachelor Nation anymore. Becca Tilley just confirmed what anyone who follows her on Instagram already knew: She's dating fellow Bachelor Nation member Robert Graham. And we have to say, these two make a seriously good looking couple!

More: The fourth — not the third — time may have been a charm for Nick Viall

"I am dating Robert," Tilley told Us Weekly at 102.7 KIIS FM's Jingle Ball 2016 on Friday. "It's fun. We've been friends for a long time and it was just a natural progression, and he's just amazing and been patient with me. ... I need someone that's patient and willing to deal with me, and he's been that way. So it's been fun, it's been an easy transition."

The couple first sparked dating rumors over the summer when they started posting photos with each other on Instagram. Tilley most recently named Graham her #ManCrushMonday earlier this week and shared a photo of the pair together just the other day.

instagram becca tilley just a little closer bachelor

instagram becca tilley just a little closer bachelor

More: Wait, so are Ben Higgins and Lauren Bushnell engaged or done?

"We have the same group of friends so it's very natural when we hang out and it's very, just, casual," Tilley also told the magazine. "I just like him."

An inside source also confirmed the pair's relationship to E! News, saying, "[Becca and Robert] are dating. They've been friends for a long time and have the same circle of friends."

More: This unexpected love story may be best thing to come out of The Bachelor

"They enjoy traveling together and she's working on her fashion blog that he's super supportive of," the same source told E! News. "Friends think they are super cute together."

becca tilley robert graham instagram like ya lots

becca tilley robert graham instagram like ya lots

As any Bachelor fan knows, Tilley was the runner-up on Chris Soules' season and later finished in fifth place on Ben Higgins' season. Graham was on The Bachelorette way back in season nine when Desiree Hartsock was the star of the show. He also appeared on the first season of Bachelor in Paradise.

Before you go, check out our slideshow below.

Jason Mesnick crying on The Bachelor
Image: ABC

Britney Spears gets a big birthday surprise while performing at Jingle Ball

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Britney Spears celebrated her 35th birthday with an epic performance packed full of her latest hits, as well as throwback anthems, at 102.7 KIIS FM's Jingle Ball in Los Angeles on Friday night.

Spears dazzled the crowd with "Womanizer," "Toxic," "(You Drive Me) Crazy" and more of her iconic tracks at Staples Center in Los Angeles on Dec. 2. The pop queen wore her hair in half pigtail buns and rocked a two-piece outfit adorned with lots and lots feathers.

More: 6 things to know about Sam Asghari, the guy Britney Spears had dinner with

Spears talked to the crowd during several breaks throughout her time on stage. Tinashe even joined Spears during her final song to perform their latest collab, "Slumber Party."

britney spears tinashe photos twitter slumber party bal

britney spears tinashe photos twitter slumber party bal

More: Britney Spears and Ariana Grande started a huge, verbally violent Twitter war

After Britney's set, Ryan Seacrest and the entire 102.7 KIISFM on-air team came out to surprise Spears with a giant three-tier cake with sparklers shooting out of the top! Seacrest and the KIIS team then lead the entire arena in singing "Happy Birthday" to the 35-year-old.

britney spears looking excited birthday cake huge happy

britney spears looking excited birthday cake huge happy

Spears posted a photo of the birthday surprise on Instagram with the caption, "Thank you for the sweet birthday wishes! Had an amazing day. Love you all."

britney spears instagram video happy birthday song ball

britney spears instagram video happy birthday song ball

I was there in the audience at Staples Center for Jingle Balll and I've gotta say, Spears rocked it! She nailed her performance and honestly appeared delighted when Seacrest surprised her with a cake. It seems like she had a great birthday!

More: Britney Spears threatening to sue over bombshell report about her behavior

Spears may have taken the Jingle Ball stage on her birthday, but fans took to Twitter to wish the "Make Me" singer a great day. Check out a few of their tweets below.

happy birthday to this amazing woman britney tweet

happy birthday to this amazing woman britney tweet

britney spears fan made video birthday shout twitter

britney spears fan made video birthday shout twitter

happy birthday britney spears black and white photos at

happy birthday britney spears black and white photos at

Before you go, check out our slideshow below.

Britney Spears slideshow'
Image: Buena Vista Pictures

A timeline of Mariah Carey's road to fame: From tiny opera singer to reality star

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Mariah Carey is obviously blessed with natural talent, but that doesn't mean this star was born overnight. From growing up in a New York suburb to becoming a reality star, Carey has gone through a lot to get where she is today.

1970: A star is born

Carey was born on March 27, 1970, according to the Biography.com editors. Her father was an aeronautical engineer and her mother was a voice coach and opera singer.

Her mom knew she was destined for great things and named her after the opera song "They Call the Wind Maria."

More: What Corey Feldman has survived over the past 40 years will break your heart

1973: The song begins

Carey obviously didn't come out of the womb singing and dancing, but she came pretty close.

"From the time Mariah was a tiny girl, she sang on true pitch. She was able to hear a sound and duplicate it exactly," her mother told People in 1993, according to Vogue. "I missed my cue [while rehearsing Verdi's Rigoletto], but Mariah didn’t. She sang it in Italian at exactly the right point. She wasn’t yet 3."

1985: Songwriting becomes second nature

When Carey was just 15 years old, she started writing with aspiring singer/songwriter/producer Gavin Christopher, and the two recorded the fruits of their labor on crude equipment. When Carey was 16 years old, her older brother Morgan funded recording sessions in a studio for her and Christopher, Marc Shapiro says in his biography Mariah Carey.

1988: Tommy Mottola enters the picture

After kicking around New York City for a bit, struggling to pay rent by waiting tables and piecing together a demo in her free time, Carey and a friend — fellow singer Brenda K. Starr — attended a party hosted by CBS records. It turned out to be a fateful night when Carey's demo got into the hands of Tommy Mottola, then president of Columbia Records. Mottola listened to the demo on the way home from the party and instantly signed Carey to his label.

1990: The big release

Mariah Carey

Mariah Carey

Carey's life changed forever with the release of her first album, Mariah Carey. The record exploded onto the scene, and its singles "Vision of Love," "Love Takes Time," "Someday," and "I Don't Wanna Cry" all hit No. 1 on the charts. Carey became the first artist since The Jackson 5 to have their first four singles hit No. 1.

1991: The awards start pouring in

Image: Chris Connor/WENN

During the 1991-1992 award season, Carey pulled in Best New Artist and Best Female Pop Vocal Performance Grammys for her single "Vision of Love." Carey also won Artist of the Year, Top Female Artist, Top Pop Artist, Top Pop Album and Adult Contemporary Artist of the Year at the Billboard Music Awards. She sold more than 15 million copies of her first album in 1991 alone.

1992: Emotions

Mariah Carey

Mariah Carey

After her second album, Emotions, was released in late 1991, Carey received praise for improved songwriting, but — at only 8 million copies sold — the effort fell a bit short of her first. The title track did become her fifth No. 1 single, however.

Also in 1992, Carey recorded a set for MTV Unplugged, in an effort to silence critics who were speculating that her talent only translated in the studio. There were whispers saying that Carey was unable to perform live. Obviously, she proved them wrong.

Mariah Carey Unplugged

Mariah Carey Unplugged

More: And now we know how much money Mariah Carey & Nick Cannon make

1993: Music Box

Mariah Carey

Mariah Carey

Carey released her third studio album, Music Box, in the summer of 1993. The album has sold well over 30 million copies worldwide.

Also in 1993, Carey wed Mottola just before the release of her album.

1994: The Christmas album to end all Christmas albums

Mariah Carey

Mariah Carey

Carey released Merry Christmas in December 1994 and the rest, as they say, is history. Now the holidays just aren't the holidays without "All I Want for Christmas Is You" blasting on repeat.

1995: Daydream

Mariah Carey

Mariah Carey

Daydream was a pretty big departure from Carey's other albums with its significant hip-hop influence, but it quickly became her top-selling album in the United States.

1997: The search for freedom

Mariah Carey

Mariah Carey

Carey spent 1997 recording Butterfly, and she also sought artistic independence, which is reflected in the title of the album. She experimented with different musical styles, revealed a sexier new image and collaborated with Sean Combs, Mase, The Lox and Missy Elliott.

She also separated from Mottola while recording. Coincidence? We think not.

1999: Trouble with Columbia

Mariah Carey video

Mariah Carey video

In 1999, Carey released Rainbow, but the album brought about a very public battle with her record label. She took to her website to leak inside information about her feud with Columbia and urged fans to beg radio stations to play her ballad "Can't Take That Away From Me," which she wanted to be a single but Columbia wouldn't promote it.

2001: Hard times

Mariah Carey

Mariah Carey

After suffering an alleged breakdown in 2001, Carey's new label Virgin Records pushed back the release of her album and movie, both titled Glitter.

Once both the movie and album were finally released, they were critically panned and not well received by audiences.

2002: Dramatic acting debut

WiseGirls

WiseGirls

Carey appeared opposite Mira Sorvino in the independent film WiseGirls in 2002. It wasn't her first acting role (she was in The Bachelor and Ally McBeal, along with Glitter), but it was the first opportunity Carey had to really show off her chops.

2005: "We Belong Together"

Mariah Carey

Mariah Carey

Carey's comeback album The Emancipation of Mimi was a huge hit, and "We Belong Together" was a record-breaking single.

Carey filmed the video for the single eight years after her split from Mottola, but there was still some fire in her regarding the marriage — which came through loud and clear when she wore her wedding dress in the video.

"I wanted to burn the train of the dress," Carey told Vogue in 2015. "It was 27 feet long and Brett [Ratner, the director of the video] wouldn’t let me burn the train! I don’t know what was wrong with him. He didn’t want to set me on fire, but we could have done it in post. I mean, come on."

2009: Oscar-winning movie status

Image: Giphy

Carey continued to record and tour, but she grabbed some major attention in 2009 when she appeared as Ms. Weiss in the movie Precious, which went on to win six Academy Awards. Carey received a ton of praise for her performance and was barely recognizable in character.

2013: She's an idol, all right

Image: Giphy

In 2013, Carey joined American Idol's panel of judges as Jennifer Lopez's replacement. She only lasted one season, however, and said, "It was like going to work every day in hell with Satan," according to People magazine.

2015: Vegas, baby

Carey announced her Number Ones residency at Caesar's Palace in 2015. Tickets are still available for her shows, if you're ever in Vegas.

More: Mariah Carey & her sweaty backup dancer "looked like they're legit dating"

2016: The newest Housewife?

Mariah's World

Mariah's World

OK, so Carey is obviously not going to be on The Real Housewives of Orange County, but she will try her hand at reality TV when Mariah's World premieres on E! on Dec. 4.

What's your favorite moment in Mariah Carey's career?


I was ostracized for discussing racial injustice in my church

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Sunday is the day of escape. It is the day of refuge. It is the day you lay your burdens down at the foot of the cross. It is the day of worship.

More: I didn’t baptize my kids because I want them to find their own faith

I was raised in black church, specifically the Church of Christ (American Restoration Movement). I never remember race being discussed at church, ever, but the racial divide in my faith group is obvious. Even national youth retreats were separated along racial lines, and our local congregations hardly met for any type of combined gatherings. While some in my faith group are fighting and championing reconciliation, there is a dark, ugly, and racist history that lingers. Like the majority of Christian churches, Sunday is the most segregated hour in America (in black church, it's two and a-half hours).

I would love to tell you that I planned this, that I was smart enough to conduct a social experiment of epic proportions. But I didn’t plan anything about the last two years of my life. When I moved to suburban Atlanta, I was faced with a choice. Either my family would attend a neighborhood church or we would travel to one of the well-known, established, and predominantly black churches in Atlanta. Our decision was to place our membership in a congregation in our community. I wasn’t going to flee 45 minutes away from my neighborhood. I was going to place roots with the people of God in my community, even if they didn’t worship in the style of worship I was accustomed to, and even if they didn’t have my world views.

It’s been HARD. Not because the congregants are mean-spirited or unwelcoming, but because it was different. I was often the subject of, or subject to many awkward and racially insensitive conversations. Throw social media in the mix of trying to get to know people in this “post-racial” (read: sarcasm) Obama presidency, and you get some really interesting insights as to how people who aren’t like you think and feel about a whole range of political and social issues. When one well meaning sister engaged me–out of nowhere–in a “race talk,” I found myself attempting to explain the collective grief caused by social injustice and why I was vocal via social media. In attempting to use a well known case of injustice as an example, I was told– to my face – that Trayvon Martin played a role in his own death. The lack of empathy was so painful. That school of thought had never been personified by anyone other than an internet troll, and definitely not by a sister in Christ. I also was informed that:

  • There was wrong on both sides.Regarding the murder of Trayvon Martin.
  • I don’t believe in celebrating diversity, because that’s not what heaven will be like.”  After sharing that I visited a black church for their Black History Month program.
  • It’s said that if the General wasn’t killed the South could have actually won.”  In a metaphor heralding the “brilliance” of Confederate generals in relationship to the omniscience of God.

The thing about fellowship is it is intimate. It is supposed to be, at its best, a way to be vulnerable and to develop a relationship with believers. What I found was that after two years I was unable to break through. No matter how many potlucks, Bible classes, or positive one-on-one encounters I had, I never felt accepted. So for months my husband and I prayed. We prayed for God to give us compassion, understanding, and patience to continue on in that church, because we knew no church is perfect. We are all imperfect. But eventually God revealed that we just didn’t belong there.

More: I thought I said goodbye to racism when I left my KKK-riddled hometown — I was wrong

When my family finally made the decision to change congregations, my husband expressed his heart about our concerns and experiences to someone in leadership. He was then told that we should just beware when transitioning to another congregation, because wherever we went, people would find that my “views are off putting.” When my husband told me this, I was so overwhelmed. All I could think was that the effort I had put into building relationships those two years had not counted, simply because I was vocal about injustice with my Facebook account.

Yes, that’s right, it was me. But fellowship is not a refuge if you are asked to change who you are to be accepted. We knew we could not change the collective consciousness of the congregation, and ultimately the micro-aggressions and flat out dismissal of black pain became a distraction in fellowship and worship.

Fear was what kept us in a place that was ultimately not conducive to our spiritual growth. We were afraid that, indeed, it would be the same no matter where we went. That we would be "too black" no matter what, and our passion for social justice could not be reconciled in fellowship with people that didn’t look like us and share our experiences. But the devil is a liar. Our prayer was answered, and God showed us where our family needed to be. We are already planted at another church, one that has social justice in its mission statement. I know that social justice and racial reconciliation are uncomfortable and difficult missions, but I am thankful to God for revealing to me that there are Christians that are striving for them.

Our kids are transitioning well, and we are confident about our future with the church. We know that differences will still be challenging, but we now have a renewed spirit and a mission affirmed by Christ. Most importantly, we have continued on with our original plan to be planted in a congregation near our home, so that ultimately we can serve in our community.

More: Women of color are pushing back against racism in the blogging world

Originally published on BlogHer

The more similar I become to my father, the more I resent him

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It was January 2005 and we were celebrating my sister’s birthday in my Upper West Side apartment with my father and his new wife. We were ordering sushi for dinner and as we were discussing who would have salmon or tuna, my father looked over at my sister and me, and with a smirk on his face said, “Natasha can’t have raw fish.”

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My sister, never having been pregnant didn’t realize this subtle announcement which bludgeoned me in the stomach and released a ball of heat which slowly spread lava all over my insides. “Why can’t she?” my sister retaliated, insinuating Natasha's sense of taste wasn't developed enough for raw fish.

“Is she pregnant?” I asked my father, rather than directing the question at the possibly gestating woman.

“Yes!” My father beamed, proud of his 57-year-old sperm. Within minutes, they were gushing over how easy they had gotten pregnant: “One shot! I’ve still got it!” My dad said, invisibly flexing his dick.

My sister and I stared at one another, widening our eyes. The hot feeling was rising up, taking over me. As if split from the same gene, my sister says, “I’m so hot right now. Can you turn down the heat?” I began to pull my tights off under my jeans.

I was grossly immature then and I’m not sure if I evolved much in ten year’s time. Was I behaving no differently than a 5 year old jealous sibling hearing they were getting another baby? Instead of being jealous of a newborn, I am now jealous of a ten year old thrust into this awkward Russian-Jewish immigrant version of Modern Family.

This time around, my dad and I were parents together, only he was behaving as the passive parent. He explained how he went into this adventure with the attitude, “This is her baby. I’m doing this for her and she said she would do all the work! All she wanted from me was my Grade-A sperm. Besides, if I don’t she will leave me and find someone else. She’s still young.”

Natasha fed the baby and changed the baby, and of course my father fell head over heels in love with his first son and I witnessed him transform into a father who behaved nothing like the one who raised me.

My father was the “strong Russian fatherly” type who threatened to “bury my sister and me in the backyard if we ever did drugs.” He drank vodka and drove with us in the backseat. My insensitive father called the teenage me a cow, slapping me in the head with the back of his hand if I blocked the TV. My father made us afraid to tell him if we got hurt because his way of handling a crisis was to find faults and seek blame.

As a father in his sixties, he mellowed. He is a grandpa-dad. He yells at Natasha as she helicopters over Alex at the playground; at ten, she still wipes his ass but he yells at her when Alex doesn’t answer a question properly. If Alex embarrasses my father, he overcompensates by telling me about his minuscule accomplishments as if he is a piano prodigy, a tennis pro, a mathematics whiz!

On one hand, Alex got the kinder, gentler, more forgiving father. Or maybe he just got one who was more apathetic.

Natasha often talks about how much my father gushed about his daughters when he was courting her in Russia. In fact, she says this was one of his golden traits which made her fall in love with him, back when she was a fatherless Ukrainian 19 year old girl and he was a 49 year old American man. Like a peacock with his feathers on display, my father held up pictures of my sister and me, bragging about our all-American successes. I always knew my father loved me, but I also never thought I lived up to his expectations – or to my potential.

More: My terrible morning sickness still ruins my appetite six years later

He expected so much from me when I was a teenager he made me a bet I would make $100K by the time I was 25 years old. I lost the bet, although I came close, making about $70K (plus shares in a company which would sell for more). Instead by 25, I had gotten my first tattoo and had just gotten back together with my boyfriend after having been caught cheating. My father was disappointed in that too. Not because I had cheated, but because I got caught. Hadn’t he taught me anything?

Every year on Father’s Day, it gets more and more awkward in this multigenerational Hallmark holiday quagmire. I feel like a distant cousin or some relative from another life, who used to have close ties but have long since moved apart, embarking on vastly different trajectories. Sometimes the most painful part isn’t that he isn’t supportive or vocal about his emotions, but his complacency with it all. He has this amazing daughter and world’s greatest grandchildren 30 minutes away, and we see each other only a few times a year. He doesn’t invite us over unless it’s a special occasion.

I know I’m too hard on my dad, but isn’t that the perfect irony? I learned my impossibly high expectations from him. As I’ve gotten older, I resemble him more and more; the wrinkles around my eyes mimicking his, the creases in the forehead, the wide smile, the muscular arms. Beyond that, I have inherited his will power, his inability to forgive, his pridefulness, and his desire to do everything so perfectly no outcome is good enough.

A father-daughter bond can be magical. My father was the first male I’d love, admire, look up to and often emulate. Through my writing project this year, I have dug back into assorted issues of our relationship and the hurtful actions of our history. Even though time and distance tend to heal and dull pain, I found the opposite. I’m angrier now that I am grown and see him without the rose colored glasses daughters wear when they look at their daddies.

More: I have hypochondria and it's not the joke people think it is

Originally published on BlogHer

How to find solace online after a cancer diagnosis

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A cancer diagnosis is life changing and even when you are surrounded by a network of support from family and friends, you may struggle with loneliness and feeling as if no one really understands what you are going through. As a result, it may be tempting to isolate yourself from the outside world and try to face your challenges alone. While this is a natural reaction and part of the coping process, seeking support and accepting help from loved ones can help you get through the most difficult parts of your journey with cancer.

While physical support from family, friends, and coworkers can be invaluable, here are a few reasons why you may find that social media is a great place to seek support and share your journey with others:

Making connections with others

You may already be part of a local cancer support group and even though the connections you make during your meetings are important, making more connections can be beneficial during your journey. Whether you join a cancer support group on Facebook or decide to share your journey with cancer, you may find that friends and family have experienced some of the same highs and lows as you.

Finding inspiration

Sharing your story is powerful, but hearing another’s journey with cancer can be just as powerful and inspiring. If you are struggling to find motivation and positivity, you may find it in someone else’s story of survival. You may be able to put your own life and journey into perspective and others may be inspired by you.

Increasing education

Learning as much as you can about your cancer diagnosis can help you make better informed decisions about your treatment plan. If you are trying to decide whether or not to try a new cancer treatment drug or are on the fence about a surgical procedure, your presence on social media can increase your education and help you make a solid decision. Doctors will give you one opinion, but your online friends and supporters may be able to offer their own perspectives and experiences. A recent study has even revealed that cancer patients who used social media had more confidence and satisfaction in their treatment decisions.

Seeking help and support

Even when you need it the most, asking for help can often be difficult. Sometimes social media can make asking for help or support a little easier since you can send out a general message rather than asking individuals. Whether you want to share your request for financial support through GoFundMe, share Meal Train, or update others with your CaringBridge site, social media is an effective platform.

Raising awareness

Although social media can help you through your own personal journey with cancer, by using social media you are also raising awareness for cancer. By sharing and liking updates by cancer awareness organizations, you are educating friends and family and may ultimately help raise money for cancer research through charitable donations.
Originally published on BlogHer

U.S. Army halts construction of the Dakota Access Pipeline

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Update, Dec. 4 at 3:30 p.m. PT: The U.S. Army announced today that permission for the current Dakota Access Pipeline route will be denied. A statement released by Jo-Ellen Darcy, Assistant Secretary of the Army, Civil Works, said, "Although we have had continuing discussion and exchanges of new information with the Standing Rock Sioux and Dakota Access, it's clear that there's more work to do. The best way to complete that work responsibly and expeditiously is to explore alternate routes for the pipeline crossing." According to Time, work on the controversial pipeline will halt so the Army Corps of Engineers can conduct an environmental impact study. The study would look at possible alternative routes for the 1,170-mile project.

U.S. Secretary of the Interior Sally Jewell then released a statement in support of the Army's decision:

Sally Jewell statement DAPL

Sally Jewell statement DAPL

On Dec. 2, Attorney General Loretta E. Lynch released a statement on The United States Department of Justice's Facebook page:

Loretta E. Lynch FB statement re DAPL

Loretta E. Lynch FB statement re DAPL

Original article:

The North Dakota Access pipeline protest is reaching the breaking point. Since its inception, the pipeline has been the source of contentious debate and protest. The Standing Rock Sioux Tribe, which owns at least part of the land the line is slated to be built on, sued the federal government, alleging the tribe was not properly consulted about the project. On Sept. 9, the federal district court ruled that construction could continue on the pipeline. Thousands of people have joined the Standing Rock Sioux Tribe since then. Recently, the North Dakota governor Jack Dalrymple, issued an executive order for the expulsion of the DAPL protestors by Dec. 5, citing "harsh winter conditions." Protestors have no plans to leave.

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Since the beginning of the protests, protesters and police officers have clashed violently. There has been an increase in violence as tensions have soared. Police are now spraying cold water and releasing tear gas on protesters in below-freezing temperatures. Protesters, also called water protectors, have sustained multiple injuries caused by rubber bullets. It's a nerve-wracking situation. If you're not sure what's going on, here's your chance to catch up.

DAPL Protest Video

DAPL Protest Video

1. It's going to be huge (if it's ever built)

The pipeline — as proposed — is a 1,168-mile U.S. oil route that would stretch through four states. The purpose of the pipeline is to transfer crude oil from North Dakota into South Dakota, through Iowa and to Illinois. The project will cost $3.7 billion to complete — if it's ever done.

2. It's all about the money, money, money

Proponents of the plan believe the North Dakota Access Pipeline is an important step in helping the United States become more self-reliant in terms of energy instead of relying on foreign nations. Economists say it will give the state of North Dakota $156 million in sales and income taxes along with adding up to 12,000 construction jobs. Dakota Access, the project developer, claims the pipeline is the safest, most cost-effective, environmentally friendly way to extract the crude oil reserves found in North Dakota. The alternative would mean depending on rails and trucks.

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3. The Standing Rock Sioux Tribe is leading the charge

The Standing Rock Sioux Tribe is a federally recognized Indian tribe centered in the Fort Yates, North Dakota, area. Tribal leaders say the construction of the pipeline threatens the tribe's environmental and economic well-being. The pipeline, according to the Sioux tribe, would also damage the site's history, religion and culture. The safety of the tribe's drinking water is also a looming question. Environmental groups have joined the tribe to petition the construction of the pipeline with hopes that President Obama will reject the project as he did the Keystone XL pipeline. The petition to stop the whole thing reached 300,000 signatures by press time.

4. It's all about resolve

The North Dakota Access pipeline protest is being touted as the largest gathering of Native American tribes in 100 years. So far, the courts have ruled against the Standing Rock Sioux Tribe, but those setbacks have only made the protesters more determined. The Standing Rock Sioux Tribe raised thousands of dollars and they've received an untold number of donations in support of their efforts.

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DAPL Protest Video 2

DAPL Protest Video 2

As the Dec. 5 mandatory evacuation of the DAPL protesters approaches, it's important to keep in mind there are actions you can take to help their efforts — actions that don't require you to drive up to North Dakota.

Originally published September 2016. Updated December 2016.

Weekly love horoscopes: Dec. 5 – Dec. 11

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All's well that ends well when the sun sextiles Jupiter on Dec. 9. This is when hearts held hostage by malicious circumstances and treacherous exes will be released and faithful lovers will be reunited. The long wait is over. The planet of freedom in astrology, Jupiter rewards those who have kept the faith with liberation and fulfillment. If, however, you find yourself still pining away for that certain someone then you should know that day has come and gone. If he hasn't chosen you by now, he never will. And in this way, Jupiter is still a liberator, making the scales fall from your eyes and inviting you to leave that closed door you've been stationed outside for months with nobody on the other side. It's time to reclaim your life.

aries

taurus

gemini

cancer

leo

virgo

libra

scorpio

sagittarius

capricorn

aquarius

pisces

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ARIES (March 19 - April 18)
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It looks like a casual fling is starting to heat up. There's a lot of fiery energy coursing through your horoscope right now, so you're totally into having a good time and not giving tomorrow too much thought. Fire energy is all about the here and now. However, that fellow you've been seeing appears intent on setting up dates to get together in the future. It's flattering, but you've seen this change too many times when you decided to get serious. Nevertheless, you're willing to keep an open mind. He's just going to have to show he's got staying power before you lower your guard.

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TAURUS (April 19 - May 19)
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Things are exactly where they should be in your relationship right now, and you should enjoy that. This need to move things to the next level, to finalize plans and to map out every detail of your future is really more of a reflection on your own uncertainty than it is a problem that needs to be fixed with your partner. If anything, be more forthcoming about what's going on with you. It would certainly take the edge off your exchanges and may even give your lover or spouse an opportunity to be there for you for a change instead of the other way around.

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GEMINI (May 20 - June 19)
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You're not the obsessive type. You're typically easygoing and will even go out of your way to avoid guys that look like they're too complicated. This is why it may come as a shock to you to realize that the enmity you feel toward a certain fellow may actually be sexual in nature. But think about it for a minute: You challenge everything he does, you constantly want to "expose" him and you won't leave well enough alone. Sound a little obsessive? Reflect on this when Mercury sextiles Neptune on Dec. 10. Feelings that are repressed for you may be in full view of others.

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CANCER (June 20 - July 21)
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You have a lot of things on your mind nowadays, so it's understandable that you'd be a bit brusque in your manner and clipped in your response. As a Cancer, you naturally look after the emotional welfare of loved ones and will often carry the lion's share of burdens and obligations. But when's the last time that you truly listened to your spouse, took in what your child was saying or really heard a parent? There is a lot of love and appreciation in your life — enough to buoy spirits and restore depleted reserves if you would only make yourself present to receive it.

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LEO (July 22 - Aug. 21)
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A sensational Mars/Uranus sextile on Dec. 6 brings excitement and pizazz to your holiday season. At first, you may be thrown off balance by a certain someone's sudden show of interest in you. He's been so distant and aloof lately that you assumed you'd fallen off his radar. Well, nothing could be further from the truth. If anything, he'll be pouring out his heart and soul to you. Can you trust it? Yes. Usually Mars in Aquarius describes men who run hot and cold, but its mutual reception to Uranus in Aries confers passion and staying power. Snatch this guy up while you can.

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VIRGO (Aug. 22 - Sept. 21)
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This would be a good time to have a sit-down talk about the future of your relationship. A cooperative sextile between ruling planet Mercury and receptive Neptune shows that your lover or spouse is in the right frame of mind to discuss all the pluses and minuses. There will be no finger-pointing, guilt-tripping or emotional strings being pulled. Uncomfortable topics will be discussed candidly and in a way that puts both of you at ease. Don't expect any final answers because your relationship is a work in progress. Nevertheless, you'll be encouraged by the dismantling of walls and the rebuilding of bridges.

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LIBRA (Sept. 22 - Oct. 21)
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It looks as if children are the overriding fixation now. Maybe it's your children who are stealing all the focus or the longing to have a child of your own, or perhaps you're investing all of your energy in being the mother to your boyfriend's kids — a mother that they never had. In any case, your partner is feeling lost in the mix and could start acting out as a result. The worst thing to do would be to treat him like another child. Schedule an evening out alone together so you can reconnect as a couple. You both need it more than you know.

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SCORPIO (Oct. 22 - Nov. 20)
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Life at home gets really interesting when Venus joins Mars in Aquarius on Dec. 7. It's not unlike introducing two pets who don't get along into the same room. This could involve estranged siblings, an ex and the person you're seeing now or an in-law whom you know has it out for you. The surprise is that everyone will be simpatico. Maybe it's the season of peace on earth and good will toward men or maybe it's because Aquarius is a sign famous for brotherly love. In any case, this startling conjunction marks an improvement in relations that could set the standard from now on.

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SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 21 -Dec. 20)
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The sun conjoins Saturn in Sagittarius for the last time on Dec. 10. This brings to an end a protracted period in which your love life was put to the test. For many Sagittarius people, this meant the collapse of a marriage or of a long-term association. It wasn't pretty, but you probably see that you are much better off as a result. Rest assured that if you are not already in a healthier relationship by now, you soon will be. And if your relationship weathered the storm? Think of the sun/Saturn conjunction as a cosmic guarantee that you two will be together forever.

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CAPRICORN (Dec. 21 - Jan. 19)
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If there's anything you've learned from Jupiter entering Libra last September, it is that you get more flies with honey than you do with vinegar. This is an especially valuable lesson for you Capricorns because you aren't the most trusting sign of the zodiac. You tend to be cynical and suspicious. Nevertheless, accenting the positive seems to come easier with each passing day, and you have the swelling ranks of fans and admirers to show for it. Should you always keep an eye out for people trying to pull a fast one? Of course. But that shouldn't detract from all the good that they can do as well.

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AQUARIUS (Jan. 20 - Feb. 17)
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You may see yourself as more sinned against than sinning when the sun conjoins Saturn on Dec. 10. This planetary alignment can leave you feeling used and abused. However, your perception of matters may not be altogether accurate. There are two sides to every story and you will have to take a long, hard look at yours on Saturday. The planet of life lessons, Saturn usually shows us that we are not as blameless nor are our relationships as thankless as we might think. Saturn's message to you is clear: The sooner you start learning from your personal history, the sooner you'll stop repeating it.

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PISCES (Feb. 18 - March 18)
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You're looking at making a lot of big changes. And it's not just one or two, but rather a whole slew of things that promise to dramatically alter the familiar landscape of your life. Is it any wonder that you find yourself hesitating at the threshold? Thank heavens for the Mercury/Neptune sextile on Dec. 10. This will introduce some peace into your disquiet and bring some calm to your storm. It will also show you how big changes become infinitely manageable when you approach them in incremental stages. Plus, knowing that there's a certain someone holding your hand every step of the way helps.

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