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The easy trick to cut your grocery bill that you might actually do

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Every year, I find myself thinking a lot about a few “hot topics.” I want to save more money, I want to be healthier and I want to achieve a better work/life balance. After a few years of setting lofty and nonspecific goals, I finally learned that the trick to progress was thinking small.

This is especially true with our family finances. I am openly verbal about how terrible I am with money. It isn’t that I am irresponsible — it is just that I am not very organized. So, I knew that simply saying, “I want to save X dollars every month,” wasn’t going to cut it. I needed a concrete plan for saving money, and it needed to require very little effort on my part.

More: 12 Depression-era savings tips that work today

So, this year, I decided to try an experiment to see just how much the small choices I make could help me to save more money on our biggest expenses.

For an entire month, I committed to buying only off-brand items while grocery shopping for my family. Typically, our groceries are one of our biggest expenses, second only to our mortgage. I really hoped that giving up more expensive, brand-name foods would cut our budget by a lot.

Week 1

Getting started was easy enough. The first week, I decided I would avoid temptation altogether by heading right to our local Aldi, a budget-friendly grocery store that only carries off-brand food, or so I thought. I blazed through the store quickly; I have shopped there for years, and my mother shopped there when I was a child, so I quickly filled my cart without thinking twice about cost comparison.

As it turns out, I should have been a little more prepared to practice self-control. The week before, I had learned I was pregnant, and morning sickness was in full swing. I had been living on grilled cheese and La Croix, a sparkling water that was definitely not off-brand and definitely not budget friendly. As I rounded the last aisle and made my way toward the checkout, I spotted it: my favorite flavor of La Croix was taking up an endcap, a rare treat at a store that never carries name-brand items. It was calling to me and, in my excitement, I grabbed a few packs and slid them under my shopping cart.

It wasn’t until I got home that I realized I had broken my own rule. I felt guilty at first, but quickly got over it when I realized I had not only bought my favorite drink ever at a deep discount, but I had also spent almost $23 less than I normally did on my weekly grocery script.

Week 2

For week two, I wanted to switch things up. I was curious if I could still carry out my challenge at a different grocery story. I went to Sprouts, a grocery store that carries mostly organic and “healthy” foods. Within five minutes of walking in the door, I was frustrated. Sprouts carried a lot of store-brand and off-brand items, but they were not very budget friendly. A can of conventional black beans (as in, not organic) cost almost 50 percent more than what I had spent at Aldi. Now, when you are talking about the difference between 59 cents and 99 cents, it may not seem like that big of a deal, but those little differences add up.

To add insult to injury, there were a few essentials I absolutely needed that were only available in a name-brand option. At checkout, I resentfully handed over my cash when the cashier told me my total, which was $20 more than what I normally spent and almost $50 more than what I had spent the week before.

More: 10 money-saving shopping tricks that don't require coupon clipping

Week 3

I returned to my beloved Aldi, but it didn’t go as well as I had hoped. I still came in way under budget (by about $27), but I left without a few items I needed because they didn’t carry them at all. I found myself a little annoyed that I would be shuffling my kids in and out of another grocery store that day, especially as nap time drew nigh.

Week 4 

The last week, I made an impulse decision. It had been a long couple of weeks, and my two toddlers and I were starting to get on each other’s nerves. My older daughter skipped her nap that day, and I was really desperate to have a little bit of quiet. So, on a whim, I loaded my girls into their car seats, put on a podcast and made the 45-minute drive to our not-so-local Trader Joe’s. I knew that Trader Joe’s, like Aldi, only carried store-brand or off-brand items, and I knew that I could get everything on my list.

Within 10 minutes of setting off, both girls fell asleep and I enjoyed a blissful hour of silence while I took the scenic route to the store. I was really happy with how the shopping trip went, too. Not all their prices were super cheap, so I had to be a little more selective about the quantities I was buying and I had to avoid the allure of their prepared foods and specialty items. (The pull of cookie butter is real. So real.)

Still, I was able to walk away under budget and I was much happier with the produce.

More: Procrastinators, rejoice! Tax Day isn't April 15 after all

As I wrapped up the month, I thought about how much I had saved and what big lessons I had learned. I had saved nearly $75 on groceries that month, which isn’t a fortune, but every little bit matters when you are trying to pay off student loans. I also learned that some rules are meant to be broken, especially if it means satisfying a pregnancy craving while stocking up on an on-sale, name-brand item.

I was also pleasantly surprised by how the foods tasted. We don’t buy a ton of packaged foods, but I do rely heavily on boxed mac 'n' cheese to get me through busy days at home. I was a little worried about how my girls would respond to off-brand, which had a reputation in the mom world for being gross. Still, they gobbled it right up and asked for seconds — I opted out.

In the end, this is one practice I am willing to hold onto. Buying off-brand didn’t really require any extra effort, as long as I picked the right store and didn’t cook with any uncommon ingredients I couldn’t find at my local discount stores. A little extra cash goes a long way, and if all I need to do is switch brands on the foods I am already buying, I am more than happy to make the change.


Sister Wives' Meri Brown should be angry at Kody Brown

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The upcoming season of Sister Wives will not disappoint on good news, as the Browns celebrate Maddie’s engagement to Caleb as well as the birth of Robyn and Kody’s daughter, Ariella. The joy is short-lived, however, as first wife and legal ex-wife of Kody Brown, Meri, deals with the consequences of her catfishing scandal. At the end of last season, Meri had confessed to her family that she carried on an online relationship with someone she thought was a handsome businessman but turned out to be a middle-aged woman intent on exploiting Meri and the Brown family. This season picks up with the family suffering the fallout of the catfishing scandal.

MORE: Sister Wives: 6 reasons Meri should leave the family

In a preview video posted exclusively by People magazine, Meri’s only child, Mariah, shares her disappointment in her mother’s actions. She feels incapable of discussing the events with her mother. “I’m kinda sensing that Mom wants to ask me some deep questions, and I can’t handle it,” Mariah shares with the cameras.

“There were times that I was angry at you, Kody,” Meri confesses in front of their family therapist as well as her fellow wives, and the declaration overlaps with Janelle’s confessional, as she tells the camera, “From an outside perspective, I see the manipulation all over it.”

MORE: Meri Brown's cryptic posts have fans questioning if she'll leave Sister Wives

It’s pretty clear that Meri is mad at Kody for a lifetime of reasons, starting off with the fact that he decided — after they were married — to take on more wives. And I agree with Janelle that the manipulation is all over that decision, even if I am certain that’s not what she means. But wise words from the sanest of the Sister Wives bunch.

MORE: Sister Wives' Meri Brown opens up about her catfishing scandal (VIDEO)

As the dramatic teaser wraps up, third wife Christine shares that, “Robyn’s mad because she feels betrayed, I’m sure.” Robyn is the only one of the wives who doesn’t utter a peep in this preview, so there’s really no telling what this mysterious betrayal might be. Maybe it has to do with Meri, or perhaps it’s an entirely separate issue with Kody. With so many family members, the Browns always have plenty of storylines to share.

Sister Wives Video

Sister Wives Video

Sister Wives returns May 8th at 8 PM EST on TLC

Do you think Meri has a right to be angry at Kody?

Before you go, check out our slideshow below.

Sister Wives rules slideshow

PLL star Brandon Jones reportedly pulled out a gun on his neighbor

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Brandon Scott Jones, known for his roles on Pretty Little Liars and Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, was arrested last month after allegedly pulling both a gun and a knife on his neighbor. According to E! News, Jones was jailed on March 24 and released on a $50,000 bond the next morning. His arraignment is scheduled for Thursday.

More: Pawn Stars' Chumlee arrested after police invade his Las Vegas home

Jones is charged with one felony count of assault with a firearm and one misdemeanor count of exhibiting a deadly weapon. According to the report, the gun was registered and Jones pulled it out during a "neighborhood dispute."

In a statement to TMZ, Jones' rep provides a few more details on the circumstances surrounding the incident: "It is our understanding that the gun in Mr. Jones' possession was fully legal and registered, that he was on his girlfriend's private property, and that he and his girlfriend felt that they were under threat in a dispute with neighbors." No word on the reason for the dispute or how it escalated.

More: Pretty Little Liars' Season 6 finale causes incest confusion

Jones has also been charged with a misdemeanor count of exhibiting a concealable firearm in public for an October incident in which he displayed a hidden handgun.

Jones himself has yet to make any official statement on the matter since the news broke. His last tweet, on April 12, is a picture of his dog. If convicted, he could be sentenced to up to five years in prison.

More: Pretty Little Liars' new villain had better be a Liar

Busty women can all relate to Australian woman's bra rant

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I typically wear a 38DD and have a difficult time finding a bra that fits all of my wants. If I find a bra that fits right, chances are it'll be in a solid color with approximately 567 clasps to keep it in place. And the ones that are cute? The cups either don't fit right or the band is too uncomfortable.

More: How to style your pear-shaped body and do those curves justice

I often wonder how women with even larger breasts feel about the selection — and now I have my answer.

Chardé Heremaia posted an epic YouTube rant of her recent shopping trip to an Australian Kmart to find underthings that fit.

Bra Rant

Bra Rant

“I’ve come to find some new bras OK, cause I’m a double F, and I’m plagued with big boobs," she starts in the video. And that "closest thing" is a plain white bra in a size F that's f***ing ugly.

“I’m so offended that Kmart and other places feel that they have to give big-titty girls granny bras, all right,” she says. "Some of us young ones, we like to be a little bit of a saucy minx every now and again. OK. I’ve had it up to f***ing here."

She's right: Mainstream fashion has come a long way in terms of plus-size clothing, but there's still a way to go — especially when it comes to lingerie.

More: How to dress for your body shape

Heremaia ends her video by saying she wants retailers to "sort their shit out. I want some pretty ones that don’t cost hundreds and thousands of dollars, OK?"

Preach, Chardé.

More: Model uses potato chips to show trolls what she thinks of their comments

Lamar Odom and Khloé K may have vastly different views on their marriage

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Khloé Kardashian and Lamar Odom don't seem to be on the same page concerning their relationship status right now.

Rumors that Kardashian is going to file for divorce from Odom for a second time started swirling after the former Laker reportedly started partying again.

More: Khloé Kardashian may actually get divorced from Lamar Odom this time

Kardashian originally filed divorce papers back in December 2013 after four years of marriage, but she called off the proceedings in the wake of Odom's near-fatal overdose in October 2015 so she could make medical decisions for him.

Odom has finally broken his silence on reports that he's gone back to his partying ways, including the photos that surfaced of him out at a bar.

"I mean, it gets tough, especially if so much gets speculated," he told Entertainment Tonight. "Only a few people know the truth, and I just keep that close to my heart."

More: Khloé Kardashian is done being the good guy, and we really don't blame her

He also addressed the current state of his relationship with Kardashian and what she thinks about the photos.

"We did talk, you know, everything is [up for] discussion," Odom said. "We talk about anything. We’ve been through a lot. It won’t ever stop."

More: Khloé Kardashian is so lovestruck with Lamar that she can't leave him

It sounds like Odom doesn't want to split from Kardashian, but does the reality star feel the same way?

Kardashian recently shared a sentimental post on Instagram that seemed to allude to the decline of her relationship with Odom. The photo's lengthy caption included the quote, "Don’t put your happiness on hold for someone (family, friend, partner) who isn’t holding on to you. 'A Girl once told me… be careful when trying to fix a broken person. For you may cut yourself on their shattered pieces.'"

Khloe IG pic

Khloe IG pic

Honestly, it sounds like Kardashian has had enough of trying to change and "fix" Odom.

Odom spoke to Entertainment Tonight at Kobe Bryant's last Lakers game on Wednesday evening. He told the news outlet that his next step is to "get back on the court," saying, "I still got it."

Kardashian's next step just might be filing for divorce (again) and finally moving on with her life.

Before you go, check out our slideshow below.

Khloe and Lamar timeline slideshow
Image: WENN

Katy Perry is now as close to being a nun as she'll ever get

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When you're Katy Perry, you can pretty much live wherever you want to. This time, the singer has decided she's determined to buy a convent and, after a heated legal battle, she may end up getting the heavenly property after all.

A Los Angeles judge blocked the sale of a former convent on Wednesday, April 13, potentially paving the way for the pop star to buy the eight-acre estate that reportedly has stunning views of downtown Los Angeles and the San Gabriel Mountains.

More: Katy Perry is at war with 2 nuns

News broke last July that the "Roar" singer offered $14.5 million to buy the hilltop property in Los Angeles' Los Feliz neighborhood only to be rejected by the Sisters of the Immaculate Heart of Mary. Instead, they agreed to sell it to restaurateur Dana Hollister, who planned on turning the property into a boutique hotel for $15.5 million.

More: Katy Perry & Orlando Bloom act like love-sick teenagers at Disneyland

However, the sisters' plan was put on hold when the archdiocese filed suit last year, arguing that the nuns did not have the authority to sell the property to Hollister.

Two of the nuns who resided in the convent argued that the property was theirs to sell to Hollister, while Archbishop José Gómez claimed that he had authority to sell the estate and that he planned on selling it to Perry.

More: Dolly Parton, Katy Perry's ACMs performance was the epitome of girl power

Los Angeles Superior Court Judge Stephanie Bowick approved the archdiocese's motion to block the sale to Hollister on Wednesday, voiding the purchase documents and deed, according to Reuters.

Perry's lawyer said that the judge's ruling puts the singer one step closer to buying the convent, according to the Los Angeles Times.

However, an attorney representing the two nuns said that he's considering an appeal on his clients' behalf, so Perry may not being singing "the hills are alive" to the San Gabriel Mountains just yet.

American Grit has one of reality TV's most satisfying eliminations

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American Grit is the ultimate test of strength and character, as we learned during tonight's gripping premiere. The show has all the elements necessary for good reality television, including tough challenges, behind-the-scenes drama and an attractive host (John Cena). It also has — or, rather, had — the ultimate villain: Chris Krueger, an extremely confident Hollywood trainer.

Chris Krueger
Image: NBC

More: 8 things to know about amputee Noah Galloway

The show wasted no time in establishing Krueger as the guy everybody loves to hate. Right away, Krueger lashed out, claiming in an early interview that "normal people are weak and stupid." It only went downhill from there, with the competitor questioning his coach's leadership ability and getting in a completely pointless argument with Maria Kang about whether he was posing while walking around shirtless.

More: Nikki Bella hints at a possible proposal from John Cena in new interview

Despite (or, perhaps, because of) his needless coach-bashing and his terrible attitude, Krueger was selected for the Circus, a final challenge faced by the three teams that did not win the show's earlier competition. He figured that the Circus would be a cinch, in part because he is in such good physical condition. And while he didn't audibly express this opinion, it wouldn't be surprising if he thought less of his fellow Circus contestants because they were an older guy and a single mom.

Chris and John Cena
Image: NBC

More: Noah Galloway announces broken engagement in heartbreaking Instagram post

Not surprisingly, Krueger's behavior during the final Circus challenge (which involved holding up a sandbag suspended by a rope) was completely obnoxious. He figured he was a shoo-in for the win, so he showed off and trash-talked the others. Bad idea — by wasting his precious energy in the early portion of this challenge, he only made it more difficult as time went on. Eventually, the rope slipped away from his hand, proving that while he was stronger physically, mental game was his Achilles heel. Twitter unanimously agreed that it was great to see this cocky reality TV villain get his comeuppance.

American Grit Showoff

American Grit Showoff

American Grit Chris

American Grit Chris

American Grit's Jerk

American Grit's Jerk

The only downside of Krueger's early elimination is that the show's most amusing villain is already gone. Yes, Maria Kang has the potential to be a huge drama queen, but Krueger is the epitome of the guy you love to hate. It would have been fun to continue hating on him for a few more episodes.

What did you think of Chris Krueger's early elimination on American Grit? Comment and share your opinion below.

Grey's Anatomy: Arizona needs to pump the brakes before she goes too far

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Whew, you guys! I feel like I just ran a marathon... of emotions. Yep, that about sums it up — tonight's harrowing two-hour Grey's Anatomy was a straight-up emotional marathon. Before I go any further, though, here's your official spoiler alert. You've been warned. Now, pressing on.

When an episode basically begins with a resident plunging his hands into a woman's gushing uterus and pulling out a baby, you know sh*t's about to get really real, really fast. Of course, the man in question here is Ben, Bailey's handsome husband. AKA the man married to the Chief.

Giphy
Image: Grey's Anatomy

And, yes, most of the episode revolved around the snowball effect Ben's actions caused. It was the proverbial "Well, that escalated quickly" heard round the world.

However, I can't dive into a postmortem about that whole sitch because, to be honest, I'm still suffering from a mild case of shock-slash-secondhand-heartbreak for everyone involved.

Rather, I want to discuss another of the many, many shocking moments this week kept lobbing at viewers: what went down with the Arizona-Callie-Penny triangle.

Last week, we saw Penny make a strategic move to apply for a fellowship that alienated her from her peers but wound up giving her the career-impacting opportunity to travel across the country and do some amazing work.

While Callie tried to play it cool when Penny told her she'd been granted the fellowship, it was clear Callie was bummed Penny was keen on a gig that would take her thousands of miles away. She'd just introduced her girlfriend to she and Arizona's daughter, Sofia, after all.

But tonight Callie opened up about her frustrations, telling Penny she'd missed the moment — that perfect window of time where she was supposed to romantically ask Callie to come with her. Naturally, Penny assumed that wasn't even up for consideration.

In a super awkward moment, Arizona then walks in on Callie and Penny making out in a supply room. Arizona is refreshingly chill about it, and even offers Callie some advice about the whole move. While I'm pretty sure Arizona meant her "it doesn't have to end" pep talk more along the lines of a long-distance relationship, Callie apparently took the idea to the next level and ran with it. The next thing we know, she is (a) getting hot and heavy with Penny, (b) declaring her love, and (c) telling Penny to ask her to make the move.

We aren't privy to her precise response, but we figure it out quickly when she giddily thanks Arizona — and casually tells her she is going to move with Penny to New York. And, oh yeah, she's taking Sofia too. But don't worry; it's only a six-hour flight. Later, Arizona sees Callie and Sofia greet Penny after her shift, and the three walk out of the hospital like a happy little family.

What?! C'mon now, Callie. Surely you see the problem with making this decision unilaterally, right Having said that, I certainly didn't see what was coming next from Arizona.

Grey's Anatomy
Image: Giphy

We see a lawyer speaking across the table to someone about a custody suit. She is explaining that — no matter who ultimately wins — everyone winds up a losing something with these kinds of cases. They are deeply personal and hurtful.

At first, it's easy to assume she must be talking to Jackson. After all, we saw her take a meeting with him earlier. He and April were in the midst of an already heated battle about their unborn baby, so that was an easy jump to make.

It was a shocker, then, when the camera panned across to reveal Arizona sitting in the hot seat. She indicates that yes, she is aware of the potential consequences, but she feels it is necessary. Her ex-wife is planning to move across the country with their daughter.

Here's where I'm thinking Arizona seriously needs to pump the brakes before she gets to a place where no amount of backpedaling will make things right.

We know that Arizona can be a bit presumptuous. Remember only a few weeks back when she spilled the beans about April's baby to Jackson? This seems like one of those times when perhaps she should kick back for a minute and get some perspective.

She and Callie are finally in a good place. They are successfully co-parenting Sofia, and they still genuinely care for each other as friends. If she blindsides Callie with a custody suit, there will be no coming back from that. Things will get ugly. Any semblance of a connection they had will be severed.

I'm not saying Arizona isn't within her rights to pursue such action. If she tells Callie she isn't comfortable with Callie moving Sofia across the country and Callie still tries to move forward with the plans, then by all means Arizona should fight it.

But going on the offensive without so much as trying to have a civil discussion with Callie about it first just kind of sucks. Why would she entertain this idea?

Grey's Anatomy
Image: Giphy

I'm wondering if Arizona might be reacting more out of hurt than anything else — it had to sting when she watched Callie, Penny and Sofia walk out of Sloan-Memorial like three peas in a pod. She was the odd woman out, and it's understandable that being in that position wasn't exactly pleasing.

Still, despite her own personal (and unresolved) feelings for Callie and her choices, Arizona should be considering what's best for Sofia. And while we can't be sure whether or not a cross-country move is, we can be certain seeing her moms pitted against each other in a hostile custody battle isn't.

What do you think? Would you have reacted like Arizona did?


The Catch: I'm convinced Ben's hold on Alice is bordering on abuse

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Here's what we know about The Catch's Christopher Hall Michael Thorne Benjamin Jones: 

  1. He's charming.
  2. He's handsome.
  3. He's a criminal.
  4. He's a ladies' man.
  5. He's a liar.
  6. He's manipulative.
  7. He's... a murderer?

That last one is still unclear. Agent Dao certainly believes — or, at least, wants Alice to believe — that Benjamin is a cold-blooded killer, but Benjamin insists that this isn't true. So let's leave that one aside for now.

Even if Agent Dao isn't to be completely trusted, and even if Benjamin hasn't killed anyone, he's not exactly a good person. This much is clear. He's a thief and a master of disguise. There is no way to know if and when he is telling the truth. He keeps insisting that he's still in love with Alice, but he lies about so much that we really shouldn't be taking his word on anything.

Why, then, is Alice so convinced that he's telling the truth?

More: The Catch: Why Benjamin's weird love triangle means danger for Alice

When Alice and Benjamin agree to meet up, we're led to believe that this is a setup to entrap Benjamin. Alice is wearing a wire; Dao and other FBI agents are nearby. She'll ask him the questions that will elicit his full confession and then he'll be arrested. Simple, right?

But not quite. Because Benjamin professes his love to Alice, reminding her of the fact that he offered to run away with her the very morning he ended up disappearing and stealing her company's resources. He promises her that he's always loved her and he still does, and while he may be a master manipulator, he's never lied to her. And this, it seems, is all Alice needs to decide to change course. She shows Benjamin her wire, signals to him to stop revealing incriminating details and lets him go before the FBI agents can catch him.

The scene is supposed to seem romantic. Isn't it nice that, after everything, Alice and Benjamin still love each other? But that's not what's really going on here.

More: 9 red flags your guy is "gaslighting" you and what to do

The term "gaslighting" refers to a specific kind of mental and emotional abuse in which the abuser manipulates the abused into questioning their memory and perception of reality. It is also the word that I would use to describe Benjamin's behavior here. Up until now, Alice has had no question in her mind that she was wronged by her ex. He lied to her, stole from her, abandoned her. She has every right to be angry and to seek revenge.

So why doesn't she follow through with her plan when she has the chance? It seems clear to me that Benjamin manipulated her out of it — subtly, of course, so she didn't notice it. Sure, everything he said sounded loving and romantic on the surface, but what was the point?

When Benjamin reminds Alice that he asked her to run away with him, the clear subtext is: "This is all your fault. You made me do this." When he says that he loves her, the message is: "If you're trying to bring me down, you don't love me as much as I love you." In this "romantic" scene, Benjamin abuses Alice's trust to get as far away from Dao as possible. Dao seems to see what's happening here, but Alice doesn't — not yet, anyway.

More: The Catch haters fail to understand what Shondaland is all about

Alice is a smart, strong character and I trust her judgment. But no amount of brains or brawn can stop someone from being abused, and I'm terrified that the torture that Benjamin plans to inflict on Alice is only beginning. Will he snap out of it and give her the true love and support that she deserves? Or will he continue to gaslight and manipulate her in order to get his way? Only time will tell, but for Alice's sake, I hope she stays as far away from him as possible.

Rob Kardashian and Lamar Odom return to Kris Jenner's circus

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In a newly released trailer for Season 12 of Keeping Up with the Kardashians, rumors of the return of Rob Kardashian as well as Lamar Odom, estranged husband of Khloé Kardashian, are confirmed, surprising many devoted fans who have been following the many stories of Rob's self-imposed seclusion as well as Odom's brush with death just last year.

More: Khloé Kardashian gets honest about Lamar Odom's cheating past

Odom's first public appearance was just two months ago, when he accompanied Khloé to Kanye West's Yeezy Season 3 Fashion Week show in New York City. Others in attendance observed the pair's closeness as well as the fact that Odom appeared in good health, despite the challenges of last year's recovery from his near-fatal overdose at a Nevada brothel.

More: Lamar Odom will deal with the consequences of his overdose forever

And as if Odom's return wasn't bringing enough drama to the Kardashians, Rob is also seen in the trailer, sharing an uncomfortable embrace with his mother, Kris Jenner, immediately followed by Khloé declaring, "I feel like this is the year of fun. F-U-N." I am puzzled by this concept, considering the amount of turmoil surrounding Rob's relationship with Blac Chyna, which Khloé has vocally opposed, but perhaps she is just happy to not be a widow after what happened with Odom at the end of last year. These episodes were filmed before the engagement of Rob and Blac Chyna, of course, so perhaps the fun ends at some point later in the season.

More: You'll never guess where Rob Kardashian & Blac Chyna celebrated their engagement

Kris Jenner knows how to run an entertainment empire, and the circus also known as Keeping Up with the Kardashians will undoubtedly have viewers glued to their television screens for a chance to watch all of the sisters, the brother, the boyfriends, the husbands and yes, Caitlyn Jenner, who assures viewers that she will appear in the upcoming season.

KUWK trailer

KUWK trailer

Keeping Up with the Kardashians Season 12 premieres May 1 at 10/9c on E!

Do you think it's a good idea for Rob Kardashian and Lamar Odom to appear on KUWTK?

Before you go, check out our slideshow below: 

keeping up with the kardashians then and now slideshow
Image: Rachel Worth/WENN

Zac Brown, strippers & cocaine: What we know so far about this crazy story

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Country singer Zac Brown was in for one crazy night in a Palm Beach hotel room last week, says TMZ. At 2:30 a.m., police raided his suite to find strippers, cocaine and marijuana. The bust ended in four arrests, but according to TMZ, a source said that Brown — who's been married for 10 years — was only in the room for 10 minutes when the strippers arrived. Hmmm.

More: Merle Haggard was more than a country singer — he was my home

Of Brown's companions, one man was arrested for marijuana possession and two women were arrested for possessing cocaine. Brown also had a prescription pill bottle with mismatched pills, which he later provided prescriptions for. He was not arrested, although his name remains on an event report documenting the incident. Moreover, the Palm Beach Police Department has consistently denied his involvement in the situation.

More: The future of Gwen and Blake's romance, settled by their zodiac signs

According to Fox News, the police who arrived on the scene were so excited to see Brown that they even asked for his autograph. The strippers, on the other hand, didn't know that they were working for a famous client. TMZ reports that one of the police officers mocked a stripper for not knowing who Brown was — let alone that he had a wife and kids. TMZ's sources also state that it was the police who offered to omit Brown's name from the police record.

More: Gwen Stefani's in love with Blake Shelton — and it's changing her career

Fans are convinced Blac Chyna's pregnant, but it's probably just a food baby

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Blac Chyna and Rob Kardashian haven't even been engaged for two weeks, but it's not too soon for fans to subject her to a timeless celebrity tradition: the baby-bump watch. (Blac Chyna, that means you've made it!)

In Kardashian's latest Instagram photo of the couple, Blac Chyna has what might maybe be a shadow preventing her from having a flat stomach. Maybe the poor girl is just wearing an unflattering outfit. Damn, does that thing look tight. Whatever the case may be, fans are convinced that the way she's holding her belly means that she's pregnant. Because God forbid a woman has curves.

More: Khloé's best friend Malika speaks out about Rob Kardashian's engagement

Here's the photo:

blac chyna

blac chyna

And here's what people are saying about it on Instagram:

"Is she pregnant or nahhh ???"

"She so pregnant!!!!!!!!! This is just sad!!!"

"I don't think they've been dating long enough for her to have a baby bump."

More: Kim Kardashian's Snapchat videos reveal how she feels about Rob Kardashian

According to Hollywood Life, speculation increased when the couple stopped by a Queens club and Blac Chyna wasn't drinking. There's no solid proof that she's pregnant, but sources have said that she does want to start a family one day. “Blac’s anxious to get pregnant,” one source claims to Hollywood Life. “She wants nothing more than to give Rob something he’s always wanted: a baby. Their entire worlds are wrapped around one another and they have this crazy love and affection for each other.”

More: Rob Kardashian's engagement may finally be the weight-loss trick he needs

I suck at sports, but my vagina is breaking records with my new kegel app

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Competitive sports have never been my thing. Yes, I was the little girl who couldn’t catch a ball to save her life (still can’t).

Don’t get me wrong — I’m not a sloth. Give me lots of yoga and dancing with a healthy side order of swimming or hiking in the summer, and I’m good to go, fitness-wise. Still, I’m the last person you’d ever see with a Fitbit around her wrist. I don’t really care about measuring how hard I’ve worked out; I’m mostly interested in how my body feels.

But my attitude changed when I met the kGoal, a small, insertable silicone device made to measure your Kegel skills — via video games. Now, I haven’t played any video games since I was a teenager (hi, Legend of Zelda, I’m looking at you), but when I found out that I could challenge my vagina to a workout — I was all in. The kGoal syncs to an app via Bluetooth, and you use it while it’s inside of you. This “Fitbit for your lady bits” is changing the conversation about how to do your Kegels, while teaching you to do them well and regularly. (There are other Kegel trackers on the market now, but this is the only one I’ve tried.)

More: If you're not having sex on your period, you're not living

You probably know you’re supposed to do your Kegels by now, but it’s always worth reviewing why. It’s all about pelvic floor health, which is vital to women’s wellness on so many levels — for your sex life, for pregnancy, for lower back strength, for avoiding incontinence and much more.

I talked to Marcia Brenner, a Chicago-based writer and Pilates instructor specializing in pre- and postnatal and a founding editor of Ms. Fit Magazine, about why pelvic floor health matters. “I like to think of your pelvic floor muscles like a pair of Spanx you wear inside your pelvis; they support your uterus, bladder and internal organs, as well as helping to stabilize your pelvis. Studies have shown a strong, healthy pelvic floor can make for better orgasms, and not just for women. A 2011 Duke University study found that regular pelvic floor exercises for men were more effective than Viagra.”

According to Marcia, Kegels are just one part of a multi-tiered strategy to achieve robust pelvic floor health, but an important one that’s often misunderstood.

“Kegels have gotten a bad rap lately because many OB GYN’s note a common problem with delivery is a tight pubococcygeus muscle. While some pelvic floor dysfunctions can be exacerbated by Kegels, in the vast majority of cases women don't really know how to do them, so the tightness issue isn't due to ranks of women Kegeling non-stop; more likely, tightness may be due to stress, or our increased hours of sitting, and it indicates overall weakness.”

Brenner suggests that if you really want to master pelvic floor health, you find a local pelvic floor specialist who can guide you through the practice. “Learning how to do any pelvic floor exercises correctly may simply be a matter of practice, but there's really no way to tell if you're engaging correctly without a pelvic floor specialist checking you.”

But if you’re not in the market for such a specialist right now, you might be just the kind of person to start with a Kegel app like I have. I understand the value of Kegels and have for years — but remembering to do them on a daily basis is quite another thing. Having an app to remind me has been helpful — and a lot of fun.

More: A spring juice cleanse could be just what your sex life needs

When I first got my Goal, I was perplexed by the size and shape. It looks and feels like a semi-soft silicone balloon full of air, and I wondered how it would feel inside of me. The instructions suggest that you use lube every time you work with your kGoal, and I concur — on the few occasions I’ve forgotten, I was very uncomfortable, to say the least. This may be in part because the top half of the kGoal — the part that syncs with your app — remains external, extending over your pubic bone, while the balloon shaped part is inserted.

I mentioned that I’m not athletically competitive, but that doesn’t mean I’m not competitive. Let it be known: I am extremely competitive. So the first time I inserted my kGoal and pulled up the app, I expected to kick its butt handily. (I did, after all, beat my high school boyfriend at the aforementioned Legend of Zelda in a marathon post-Christmas binge competition he launched.)

I did not kick the kGoal’s butt as I hoped, at least not at first. In fact, my early scores were so awful that I feared I had terrible, horrible, embarrassingly bad pelvic floor strength. The truth is that as simple as the games are, it takes at least a few rounds to master the basics of how to play. I had never before in my life used my vagina for such things — there was a definite learning curve.

The first game I tried was called “Shape Shift” – triangles, rectangles, squares and ovals floated down my screen at various rates of speed after I hit play. The aim is to squeeze and trace each shape with your pelvic muscles. For me, strength wasn’t the issue — I could squeeze those shapes until the sun came up — I just couldn’t figure out how to release them. Initial score: not good.

I quickly switched to another game —  “Moving Target.” This one asks you hold to different kinds of Kegels — long ones, short ones and a bunch of short, intense ones in a row — and to breathe in between and release. A band rises toward the top of the screen to show the intensity of your Kegel. Guess what? I sucked at that one, too, in a similar way. I could not control the release part of the game, and I almost cried because, goddamn it, I insist on winning things.

More: Take your masturbation skill level up a notch

The more embarrassed I felt about how poorly I was doing, the more driven I became to master the game — and it paid off. Within a week, I had improved my control (my biggest problem) and even my strength and endurance.

The newest game, and the one I’ve played the least, is called “Bricks.” Remember Breakout? This is basically vagina Breakout. You move the slider along the bottom of the screen with your Kegels, but you have to be able to release quickly to stop it from moving — and if you push it too hard, you miss the ball and you lose. If you’re like me, this will drive you nuts, and you’ll keep playing until you get it right and realize you’ve been playing Kegel video games for two hours, then sheepishly put yourself to bed.

Whether you’re a serious runner who’s obsessed with her Fitbit or someone who wouldn’t be caught dead in anything but four-inch platforms and a mini-skirt or ever go near a gym, I suggest that you get competitive about your pelvic floor health. You will have fun, and your vagina — and your partner(s) — will thank you.

Ice cream cone cupcakes will fool you in the most delicious way

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It's a cupcake disguised as a mint chocolate chip ice cream cone. It's sneaky. And yeah, that's a whole lotta frosting. But we're totally down with the joke on account of its deliciousness.

This treat is perfect for kids' birthday parties — and for young-at-heart adults. It's pretty simple to make, too. Just bake cake batter in cones, add a scoop of frosting and top with chocolate sauce and a cherry.

More: Boozy root beer-RumChata milkshake makes being an adult so worth it

Ice Cream Cone Cupcakes

Ingredients:

Cake

  • 1 box vanilla cake mix plus ingredients as indicated in directions on box
  • 2 teaspoons peppermint essence
  • 10 drops green food color
  • 2/3 cup mini chocolate chips

Frosting

  • 1 cup butter
  • 1 cup vegetable shorting
  • 4 cups powdered sugar
  • 6 drops green food coloring
  • 1 teaspoon peppermint extract
  • 1 cup mini chocolate chips

Assembly

  • 24 cake cones
  • Sprinkles
  • Chocolate sauce
  • Whipped cream
  • Cherries (with stems)

More: Chocolate coconut mudslide milkshakes

Directions:

  1. Make vanilla cake mix following manufacturer's instructions on box
  2. Add 2 teaspoons of peppermint extract
  3. Add 10 drops of green food coloring
  4. Mix
  5. Add 2/3 cup of mini chocolate chips, mix by hand
  6. Fill cake cones 3/4 of the way
  7. Bake at 350 degrees F for 12 minutes
  8. Let cool
  9. To make frosting, mix butter and shortening on high with a mixer
  10. Once butter and shortening are combined, add powdered sugar 1 cup at a time
  11. Thoroughly mix in peppermint extract and food coloring
  12. With a rubber spatula, fold in 1 cup mini chocolate chips
  13. Once cake is cooled, use an ice cream scoop to top your cake and finish with chocolate sauce, whipped cream, sprinkles and a cherry.

Before you go, check out our slideshow below.

20 outrageously hipster foods at Coachella that make us secretly wish we were going
Image: kkarmalove/Instagram

My tattoos did not ruin my body image — they improved it

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I got my first tattoo a few days after I turned 18. It was not the sun shape I'd doodled all over my notebooks through high school, which would go perfectly around my (future) pierced belly button, but a little green gecko on the outside of my left ankle. I'd gone to Hawaii once. I'd seen geckos in person. I even wore a sterling silver gecko necklace. So, it had some meaning to it, I guess. The meaning didn't matter then. I just needed the ink, the pain, the whole experience.

My second one came a few years later. I got a butterfly that was native to Washington and Alaska, like me. I'd just moved 3,000 miles away from my family at 19, up north to Fairbanks, Alaska. Getting a butterfly tattoo signified change and felt empowering. It was 1999, and I got it on my lower back.

More: 13 things I learned from getting my first tattoo

I worked at a coffee shop, and I had to bend over with my back to customers a lot. I started getting a lot of comments from men about the tattoo, sometimes with raised eyebrows. A friend of mine had to clue me in on the term "tramp stamp."

My stomach sunk a little in disappointment. This piece of artwork I'd (very painfully) had permanently inked into my skin now marked me as a slut? How did that happen?

The Urban Dictionary explains that, "Although these are often bias (sic) generalized claims, there have been sociological studies done by the American Psychological Association, Federal Bureau of Prisons, and other demographic researchers showing strong correlative evidence associating tattoos with high-risk behavior, illegal substance abuse and sexual promiscuity."

I thought back to my days of doodling future tattoos in notebooks, getting excited when MTV played one of the Aerosmith videos featuring Liv Tyler and Alicia Silverstone. Maybe I, also, associated tattoos with risky behavior, but I didn't understand how that was bad or made me a slut by default.

Over the last 20 years, I've added to the gecko and butterfly. I have visible tattoos, in a bit of defiance over never wanting an office job, even though it's pretty normal now for tattooed people to work professional jobs. I also have visible tattoos because people treat me differently. Without tattoos, I was more approachable, assumed friendlier and someone who might offer directions. With tattoos, well, you saw the above definition. My introverted self appreciated these assumptions, honestly.

I've never been one to talk to strangers, though I do get a lot of questions about the artwork on my arms. Each of my tattoos has some level of meaning to me. Most are literary. A few are to remind me to not worry, to write or to remember my inner, true self. They remind me of the things I love: be it words, Hemingway, Alaska, my kids or Shakespeare.

I'm 37, and I recently spent a couple of hours in a chair getting another butterfly tattooed on my right arm.

"I have another butterfly," I mentioned. "It's on my lower back, but I got it before they called them tramp stamps."

My tattoo artist stopped and shook his head. "Such a stupid term," he said. "I read an article the other day where a woman tattoo artist was quoted saying something about tramp stamps and hoe handles. It made me so mad."

More: The latest all-black tattoo trend isn't for the faint of heart

I nodded but asked why.

"We're here to improve body image," he said. "Our job is to make your body more beautiful, not tear it down by calling it a tramp stamp. That goes against everything a tattoo artist's role is."

Over the next couple of days, I carefully inspected my new tattoo and smiled at it a lot; a splash of color on my right forearm. I told a friend about my plans to fill in the rest.

"So, you're just gonna have both of your arms filled up?" he said.

"Yeah," I said. "That's always been the plan." I just needed life to show me the important things to love, be it a frog or a flower or a poem. I've never been into clothes or nice shoes, but my tattoos definitely give me a style all their own.


She was my best friend... until I filed for divorce from my husband

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I see her coming from at least 100 feet away. My heart skips a beat as I search frantically for a hiding place. No, too late… she’s seen me.

Will she speak?

The moment of truth arrives. As she passes me on the crowded sidewalk in front of an office building, she looks at my purse, then my face. She offers a forced smile.

“Nice purse,” she says.

“Thank you,” I reply.

Ten years of friendship, sharing laughter, tears and life experience. Ten years of having lunch together every day, with four of those years spent working together. Ten years... and it had all come down to exchanging fake pleasantries as we passed each other on the street.

More: How two families a world apart found out their daughters were twins

By the time I passed Bethany on the sidewalk, my life had become somewhat normal again. I’d gotten through the long, sleepless nights of adjusting to life alone and was dating again. While my divorce had been my decision, it was still the most stressful couple of years of my entire life.

At first, Bethany was there by my side. She was the calming force in my life. She knew I was struggling with my decision and sat with me as I cried. She was probably one of the best friends I’ve ever had besides my mom. I was sure she’d be there with me for at least 20 more years, cheering me on as I married again. Instead, by the time I met my second husband, she was long gone.

It didn’t happen suddenly, so I suppose I should at least be grateful for that. She began making excuses for not going to lunch with me. “I have too much work to do,” she’d say, or, “I’m going to lunch with some women in my office.” Soon I stopped trying. It was obvious she wasn’t interested in spending time with me.

More: Spiritual bucket list: 15 simple steps to a happier life

In the weeks that followed, I examined every moment of those final lunches we had together. I remembered her getting cranky with me as I talked about the new part-time job I’d taken to keep from being in my apartment alone at night. I was making new friends and had even developed a crush on a man who worked there. I saw myself as starting a new life.

Bethany didn’t see it that way. In the perspective that can only come with time, I can’t help but wonder if she didn’t view the shift as disrespectful to her in some way. She was the best friend she’d ever been when I was crying and devastated. Once I was excitedly talking about my new life, she was suddenly an outsider.

A few years later, a mutual friend asked her what happened to our friendship. “She changed,” she said, giving no other information. And she was right. I’d changed. I wanted to take her to the next phase of my life, but putting myself in her shoes, I can see why she saw that I no longer fit in her life.

She was a good friend. She’d been with me through the tough times. When things got easier, I suppose she felt like I didn’t need her anymore. Instead of waiting around for me to end our friendship, she chose to end it first.

Bethany found other friends and occasionally I see them together, having lunch as we once did. I’m envious of that because even though she has her faults, she’s one of those people who can make friends easily. I’m not. Unfortunately, I let my own excitement over my new life get in the way of what could have been a beautiful lifelong friendship.

More: Your cranky mom could get you fined for not visiting her enough

Can friendships survive divorce? Probably, but only if both parties continue to work at it. Friendship, like marriage, needs to be nurtured to survive.

Before you go, check out our slideshow below:

Wanderlust quotes
Image: fcscafeine/Getty Images


Stephanie Faris is the Simon & Schuster author of 30 Days of No Gossip, 25 Roses, and the upcoming Piper Morgan series. She is also a freelance writer, with her work having appeared on Cosmopolitan.com, XOJane and eCommerce Insiders, among many others.

10 things I want to tell my daughter about sex while she's still a tween

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We talk about sex in our house. A lot. Like, a lot a lot. And not because there just aren't other things that we'd rather talk about, but because the freight train of puberty is barreling down on this house like a ton of bricks out of hell or whatever your preferred cliché is. That means two things.

The first is that my kid is starting to ask me sheepish questions about sex-centric topics. Not just stuff about her body, either, but the kind of stuff that you ask when you suddenly realize that, hey, boys maybe aren't as gross as they used to be The second is that, as my daughter starts hitting developmental landmarks, I'm realizing that even though we've been chatting about sex with her since she was about 5, a lot of that involved shuffling topics around because she wasn't old enough to understand.

More: I don't want to think about what my son is doing behind that closed door

She's hitting puberty young — it will still be a few years before she'll be ready for any kind of sexual activity — but some of the stuff that I need to tell her needs to marinate for a few years in order to stick. So very suddenly, I find myself starting conversations about masturbation and birth control alongside conversations about guitar lessons and Minecraft.

It has to be done, because I need my daughter to grow up knowing certain things that I had no idea about but wish someone had told me before it was too late. Pity my daughter, dear reader, and pity me, because the only thing grosser than thinking about your parents boinking is thinking about your kid boinking. Deep breath, here we go.

1. The only invitation to sex is a literal invitation to sex.

I hate that I have to start here, because this is going to sound ominous, and really I would prefer to start with number 5 (no peeking!), but the fact is, you might not hear this anywhere else, so listen very carefully.

Your clothing is not an invitation to sex. Your body is not an invitation to sex. Making out is not an invitation to sex. Having sex once is not an everlasting, open-ended invitation to have sex again anytime. Walking alone at night is not an invitation to have sex. Wearing makeup, giving a handjobs, living under the suspicion of having once, maybe, given someone a handjob are not invitations to have sex. Having too much to drink? Not an invitation to have sex.

More: Parents share their awkward stories of learning their kids are having sex

Literally the only invitation that you will give someone to join you in getting down is saying, "Would you care to join me in some sex?"

Anyone who acts otherwise is at best an asshole and at worst a rapist. Avoid these people like herpes. Similarly, treat your partners this way and secure invitations from them to have sex, too.

2. Sex is not supposed to hurt.

Open up a romance novel or watch a sexy movie about a girl having sex for the first time, and you will almost certainly read or witness some jive noise about "pain subsumed by pleasure," or "crying out at first" or whatever, where this is weirdly supposed to be romantic and tender. The truth is that sex is not supposed to hurt. Not the first time, not anytime.

If it hurts, you're going too fast, or you and your partner may not be communicating well. You might need more lube. You might need more foreplay. What you definitely need is to speak up, stop if you have to, and you and your partner need to puzzle out how to proceed pain-free. You don't have to accept shitty, painful sex because it's "supposed to hurt for girls." It's not.

On the other hand, understand that when you have sex for the first time, it will probably not be mind-blowing and, yeah, if the excitement means you're moving really fast, there's a chance it won't be comfortable. You know your body better than anyone, and if you need to stop or slow down, say so.

3. Masturbate.

Without shame, but privately, and with a hand mirror if you need to. Learn what your body looks like, what it does and what you like, and the chances of number 2 becoming an issue for you shrink significantly. What you want is important, what you like is important, so learn what it is and then make sure that the sex you have later isn't something that you're tolerating but enjoying.

If you need some accouterments or accessories but don't want to tell me, I will give you my credit card for two hours, which should be plenty of time to find what you need, order it and wipe the history. But really, you don't need to do that. I'll take you shopping, and I will make it as not-weird as humanly possible.

4. If you're not ready to say it, you're not ready to do it. Full stop.

If you cannot ask your partner, in plain English, to touch your breasts; if he cannot ask you in plain English if you are OK with oral, then you guys are not ready to actually do those things. Really.

Consent — both giving and getting it, and doing so enthusiastically — isn't just important. It's everything. Sex is not the leviathan taboo that you think it is, but it's not nothing, either. It can in fact be a huge deal, and you need a certain maturity level to participate, so don't pass Go until you can ask for what you want for in no uncertain terms. Again, this applies to your partner, as well.

More: The 'M-word' we need to be careful using in front of our girls

5. Sex is pretty damn great. Beware the people who try to convince you otherwise.

Your vagina is not a sports car, and your virginity is not a piece of gum. We are not religious, but even if we were, I would have a very difficult time telling you that Jesus peers into our bedrooms and gets a big sad when two unmarried people go at it. Sex is not dirty. Sex is not wrong. Sex is not a thing that will taint you or that you will automatically regret.

Sex is, however, a really awesome thing that you can do with a partner or by yourself that feels pretty awesome and gives you a pretty sweet dopamine spike. It feels amazing, can sometimes be hilarious and messy, you should enjoy it, wanting to have sex is not weird. (Not wanting to have sex isn't weird, either, but whoops there I go again.)

Please do not allow someone to convince you that sex has a depreciating effect on your body or self or should have a transactional value in your relationship, because that will leave someone feeling bad, and if sex has you or someone you care enough to have sex with feeling bad, you need to reconsider.

6. Love is great, but respect is key.

OK, this is where I start getting into trouble. Because every sex talk I've ever given you starts with "When two people love each other very much," because that's like the "Once upon a time" of reproductive health talks, and also because 6 is not the age to talk about casual sex with a kid. Ten doesn't seem like that age either, but then again when it's your kid neither does 30, so I'm not going to even go there. What I'm going to tell you is this:

Sometime in your life, whether by design or not, you may find yourself having sex with someone that you do not love. Maybe that's because you don't love them yet or maybe that's because you guys are better off as friends, and you never will. Maybe you don't realize that you don't love them. These feelings are noodly and weird. As your mother, I would of course prefer that every person you have sex with is one that you love, but as a person who lives in the real world and has had sex a few times myself, I know this won't always happen. Love isn't always present. Respect must be.

Respect your partner and only sleep with people who respect you. These are people who will acknowledge and not try to circumvent your boundaries. They will not slut-shame you, and they will not slut-shame other people. They will not make you feel bad about your body, and the two of you will work together to make sex something you both enjoy. When and if you part ways, they won't dog you and you won't dog them.

7. When I say 'sex,' I mean all of the sex.

I mean oral sex, digital penetration, mutual masturbation, handjobs and anal sex. I mean all. Of. The. Sex. I think you're straight, but if you're not, I also mean the sex that you will have with your female or otherwise identifying partner. Personally, I don't really know a whole lot about that, but you've got a whole lot of nice lesbian and otherwise-oriented people in your life, and they love you, so I'm sure they'd be willing to give you the appropriate birds-and-bees talk. That will probably also be weird.

8. Practice safe sex.

Birth control is a fantastic invention; some methods, like condoms, prevent a whole spectrum of STIs, and some, like the pill, just protect against the ultimate STI: adorable babies. Use them. Practice using them. Talk about them with your partner. Do not waste your time with people who try to manipulate you away from protecting your sexual health and your future. People who do do not respect you, which should automatically disqualify them from having access to your body, and do not let yourself get carried away and compromise on this. There is no bigger mood killer than a little pink plus sign or having to disclose to every single partner you will ever have that you have herpes.

That being said, know that if you think you have an STI or think that you might be pregnant, you need to tell me or your dad right away, so that we can get you whatever you need, whether that's a shot of penicillin or some resources on pregnancy. Do not waste time screwing up the courage to tell us because you are afraid we will judge you. We won't.

9. Porn is not sex.

Porn is not sex. Porn is not sex. Porn is not sex. Porn is not sex. Porn is not sex. Porn is not appropriate for children or even teens, but the Internet exists, and you will probably find some. So let me say this: Porn can be fun (when you're older, oh my God I'm sorry I can't stop). Porn can also be problematic. Porn often shows women in demeaning situations, and outside of meaningful context, porn can give you or your partner ideas about sex that are unhealthy or downright inaccurate. Porn is not evil, but porn is also not a documentary or an instructional video or a list of required sexual acts. Porn is not sex. Porn is not sex. Porn is not sex. Porn is not sex.

10. Sex is emotional.

I know that I've been talking a lot about sex as though it's as boring and blasé as brushing your teeth. Mostly that's because when you start talking about sex in a way that makes it both dirty and cheap and sacred and venerated, that has a way of f*cking a person up and, yeah, those people are usually girls. I don't want you hinging things that you don't need to hinge on sex — an act that has so much gravitas only because people suck at talking about it. Things like your self-worth. Things like your sense of autonomy. These things are more important to your identity than the status of your V-card.

But please understand that it is not as unremarkable as brushing your teeth. It is a wonderful thing that is made more wonderful by the complexity of emotion. It has real-life consequences, and it is not meaningless. You are allowed to think of it as a big deal, and you're allowed to treat it like one. In fact, I think that you should. Because your emotions matter, whether they be happinesses or heartbreaks. Take care of yourself, take care of your partner and have fun.

Careful, respectful, consensual, satisfying, well-informed fun. I love you. Now let's go get some bubble tea.

Before you go, check out our slideshow below:

notes kids pass
Image: Imgur

Let Liam Hemsworth crush your hopes of seeing a Miley-Liam wedding

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If you were dreaming of pizza-print bridesmaid dresses and an intergalactic cat ring-bearer at the Miley Cyrus-Liam Hemsworth nuptials, don't hold your breath — because he says there is no wedding in the works.

Despite the fact that they are obviously back together, and despite the various Instagram pics Cyrus has posted showing off the fact that she is wearing her gorgeous engagement ring from prior to their 2013 breakup, and despite the fact that they quickly moved back in together after reuniting, Hemsworth just denied the couple is getting married.

"I am not engaged, no," Hemsworth told Australia's TV Week magazine in an interview that was conducted on March 31 but just released.

What what what???

Cyrus, who was recently announced as a coach on The Voice for Season 11, has been wearing the ring during her guest mentor appearances on the show this season. The couple was just spotted getting cozy together at the premiere of The Huntsman: Winter's War, supporting Chris Hemsworth, although they skipped the red carpet.

A few days earlier, they were seen at a Hemsworth family lunch together. They have not discussed their reunion after being spotted at an Australian music festival together over New Year's, and Cyrus was seen directing a moving truck to Hemsworth's home in January.

"Miley and Liam are doing amazing. She seems so grounded and happy," a source told Us Weekly. "They're going to have a long engagement. Miley is texting [Liam's sister-in-law] Elsa and other members of Liam's family again. They've seemed to welcome her in with open arms."

No worries if she doesn't have wedding planning to keep her busy, though — in addition to her gig on The Voice, Cyrus is filming Woody Allen's upcoming Amazon TV show in New York.

How to choose the perfect (and most flattering) dress for your body type

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Dressing to look and feel your best is all about focusing on the positive. Sure, most women have a few things they'd like to change about their bodies, but picking a figure-flattering dress is the perfect opportunity to celebrate the skin you're in. It's time to mentally shred that "perfect body" checklist and work with all of the beautiful features you were born with.

"There are two myths you must know when it comes to our bodies: One, there's no perfect size, and two, there's no perfect body," says Dr. Carol Parker Walsh of Vancouver, Washington, who has a PhD in human development and social psychology and is the stylist and owner behind Evolve Image Consulting. "Hopefully, this comes as no surprise, but more than not, I'm often dealing with clients who have a love, but mostly hate, relationship with their bodies. Why? Because of the never-ending challenge to find something that fits or the constant comparison with others. The key is to overcome this is to first learn to love and accept your body as-is and to learn how to dress your body appropriately for fit and balance."

With some guidance from the experts, we've put together these simple tips to help you play up your assets and embrace the physical "imperfections" that make you so unique:

Full hips and thighs

Jennifer Lopez dress
Image: WireImage/Getty Images

For pear-shaped women with full hips and thighs, the dress should shouldn't be shorter than an inch or two above the knee. Select a dress with an A-line skirt but not something too full. A short, super fuller dress will look like a tu-tu.

More: Finding my personal style with dwarfism meant breaking all of fashion's rules

You'll know you're a pear if "you often wear a different size on the bottom than you do on top," Dr. Walsh says. "Add width to your top with horizontal stripes and bright bold colors, while keeping the lower half in dark colors. You'll find a better fit if you go for two pieces as opposed to a one-piece dress."

Full waist

Oprah dress
Image: WireImage/Getty Images

If you are apple-shaped with a thick middle, you may want to elongate the appearance of your torso and draw the attention away from your waist. Select a dress with an empire or drop waist to re-define your waist line. Avoid thick belts cinched around your midsection and instead choose a chain or sash belt slung low on your hips.

"Consider emphasizing your shoulders. Creating the illusion of more width in this area will make everything below it appear more narrow. Don’t rely on padding for this (too much bulk). Instead, wear a structured jacket (ending mid-hip) to accentuate shoulders or wear dresses that cover the shoulders (cap-sleeves are great) and have enough detailing, such as a bit of puffiness or blousing, to visually balance your hip-to-shoulder ratio without adding mass," says Constance Dunn, style expert and author of Practical Glamour.

To minimize fuller arms, sleeveless and cap-sleeve dresses are best avoided. Instead, select billowy, bell sleeves that are three-quarters or even full-length to flatter your upper body.

Next Up: Small bust

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Small bust

Cameron Diaz dress
Image: Getty Images Entertainment

If you weren't endowed with ample breasts, avoid deep plunging necklines. Instead, select dresses with a scoop or bandeau neck and sequins or other adornments to add a little dimension up top. Layered necklaces are very popular right now and they can add some dimension and depth to your bust.

To draw some attention away from your bust and balance out a smaller lower body, choose a dress with an A-line skirt that falls one or two inches above your knees.

More: Asking a woman to remove her clothes is not empowering

Slim

Kelly Ripa dress
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Sweater or knit dresses are terrific options for thinner women. You can add layers to your dress, such as a cardigan or fitted jacket to give you some bulk. You can also add a thick belt to give your waist more definition. Bubble dresses are very trendy right now and can also give the appearance of a larger lower body.

For slim gals who are lean, lack curves and often have a more athletic build, Dr. Walsh recommends, "Add curves through ruffles, peplums and curvaceous patterns on your lower half."

The shift dress

Jordana Brewster dress
Image: Getty Images Entertainment

The shift is a dress, flattering on almost everyone, that hangs straight down from the shoulder. It skims your body nicely, but doesn't cling. For summer, you can find shifts in cool cotton, linen and light knits. When fall arrives, wool and heavier knit shifts will continue to be popular. Though the typical shift dress has a straight skirt, some fashion designers have created stylish shifts with a slightly A-line cut.

Dunn says, "Whether your legs are skinny, thicker or just right, there is always the question of proportion throughout the leg line. The most common imbalance in a woman’s legs is a disproportion between above the knee and below the knee. Here a woman’s upper leg (waist and thighs) will often look thick in comparison to their lower legs (calves). In this scenario, the best skirt and dress length rests at the top to the middle of the kneecap."

More: The genius way one stylist uses a beauty blender to dye hair

Whatever your body type, you can find a beautiful dress that will flatter your figure. Dr. Walsh says, "Learning your body type will help you select the right clothes to create a balanced, and when needed, curvy silhouette. You'll save time shopping and hours of frustrated moments trying to decide what to wear. Regardless of which category you find yourself, the key is to love you and let someone like me handle the rest!"

Remember to accentuate the positive and don't obsess with the negative. If you dress with confidence, you'll look and feel beautiful too.

Updated by Bethany Ramos on 4/7/2016

Kourtney Kardashian & Justin Bieber are apparently still a thing, you guys

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Have you ever gotten mad at Kourtney Kardashian for going back to Scott Disick? Get ready to feel a whole lot of emotions, because according to a new report, Kardashian is hooking up with Justin Bieber. People claims that 36-year-old Kardashian and 22-year-old Bieber have been "hooking up on and off for a few months now."

More: Kourtney Kardashian's April Fools' joke was incestuous but genius

According to the source, who claims to have insider knowledge of the couple, the two hook up when Bieber has time in Los Angeles — which means their relationship is on and off since he's currently traveling on his Purpose world tour. "They have hooked up a few times, including recently. It happens in LA," says the mag's source. "He has met her kids, but they don't hook up around the kids. It's on nights when she has help and is able to go out."

More: Scott Disick reveals if there's any hope of a reconciliation with Kourtney

The source claims their relationship is pretty casual, which seems fair as Kardashian has her hands full with kids Mason, Penelope and Reign — all under the age of 6. "Kourtney is great. Justin thinks it's cool that she is older and hot. She isn't clingy and has her own life," said the insider. "There are no bad consequences for Justin to hook up with her. She is very easygoing and just makes it fun for him to be around her.” I'm just going to sit here for a while and imagine Justin Bieber as a cast member on Keeping Up with the Kardashians.

More: Stop rolling your eyes at Kylie Jenner — she actually had a tough childhood

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