Growing up in the South, there are certain names you're inundated with so many times that they become intertwined with your own story — intrinsic to the chronicles of your coming of age.
I was raised in a sleepy Southern town by a single mother who spent her formative years on a farm. Her parents, my "Goodness" and "Papa," were the kind of quintessential, salt-of-the-earth folk you might associate with all things endearing about Southerners: hospitable, charming, honest, family-oriented and hardworking.
They also liked to raise a little hell from time to time, too.
So it's not surprising we were indoctrinated with the gospel of Haggard from an early age. After all, he was all of those things as well (with an emphasis on the hell raising in his younger years). Haggard was, in every sense of the word, the "Poet of the Common Man." As Andy Wickham once wrote in a Rolling Stone review, "Merle Haggard looks the part and sounds the part because he is the part."
He was without a doubt one of the single greatest influences on modern country music's crop of singers and songwriters.
His songs were revered as anthems of the Silent Majority, of which my family was squarely rooted. My parents and grandparents kept their noses to the grindstone and stayed out of the fray, but they shared the same frustrations as so many of the other lower and middle-class Americans the South is largely comprised of.
So we listened to Haggard. And we listened to other country artists cover Haggard or pay homage to Haggard in their own lyrics. Where I come from, the music of Merle Haggard is like the metronome people use to pace their lives.
Over the years, country music has evolved and a newer sound has emerged. But Haggard remains the cornerstone of country for many Southerners — including my grandparents, as long as they lived.
Both sets hailed Haggard as a legend. Naturally, then, so many of my memories with them are set to the soundtrack of standards such as "Workin' Man Blues," "The Fightin' Side of Me," "Okie From Muskogee" and "Branded Man."
In light of the passing of my final remaining grandparent last year, Haggard's death feels like the end of a truly special era of my life. I can't even hear the first few distinctive chords of "Mama Tried" without feeling a familiar lump well up in my throat.
In a weird way, losing Haggard feels in some small sense like losing them again. There is an indescribable ache for nostalgia in my very bones. What I wouldn't give to return, if only for a moment, to sitting on the scuffed-up parque floor in my grandma's kitchen, listening to Haggard's gravelly voice stream out of the tabletop Victrola.
I realize this may sound silly to people who don't come from this corner of the world. You may not understand Haggard's hallowed sound, especially if you're of the camp who doesn't like country music to begin with.
But for me at least, Haggard was home.
I distinctly remember (and, looking back, am borderline embarrassed to admit) listening to a song by musical duo Brooks and Dunn on repeat growing up that included the lyric "acts like Madonna but she listens to Merle" in reference to a certain type of girl.
And whatever the implication of the song was, at the time, I couldn't think of anything I wanted to embody more than the essence of that girl. A girl who was bold and brazen and modern, but who never forgot her roots.
The time of year is coming up where we all get a little heartbroken by our favorite shows. The regular season is wrapping up, and for some, that means the death of your favorite characters (I’m still not OK with Shonda Rhimes for what she did to Meredith and Derek, but that’s for another time). Fans of The Walking Dead are the latest casualties of season finale deaths, and they are not happy about it. At all.
Season 6 just ended with a mystery around who Negan killed, and some fans refuse to wait until Season 7 before they get an answer — over 1,700 fans, in fact. One eager fan took it upon themselves to start a petition on Change.org to demand answers from the showrunners.
“I would like AMC to show us who Negan killed in the Season 6 finale of The Walking Dead,” the petition reads. “We want this either in an interim episode that borders Season 6 and 7, or a short R-Rated webisode that shows us the death in all its bloody glory. Either of these are fine as long as it’s released before May 30th.”
And their efforts worked. Greg Nicotero, the show’s executive producer and director, spoke out to the fans to say he couldn’t give them answers even if he wanted to. He said, “We didn’t have anybody there because we didn’t want even somebody on the crew or somebody there to go, ‘Oh I get it, I know what’s going to happen. So I think they were all gone. We built a little rig for Jeffrey [Dean Morgan] to hit so that there would be impact with the baseball bat.”
The whole thing is comical to an outsider like me. I’m not in the group of devoted The Walking Dead fans, so I don’t know what kind of cliffhangers the show has put them through already, but it is a contract you sign when you become a fan of a hit drama. The show will give you all the juicy story lines you could ask for, but they’re definitely going to frustrate you in the meantime. If you want happy endings, you’ve got to watch sitcoms.
With that being said, though, I really hope this petition works and the fans get the answers they want. Then maybe I can start my own and Derek Shepherd will come back again.
Ninety-year-old Irene Carney rocked this red polka-dotted bikini on a cruise earlier this month after the staff at her elder care home convinced her to. The Australian woman found the stunning two-piece at a Lady Watego clothing shop near her daughter's home last month.
And why not? Any body is a bikini body — just put a bikini on your body. We're finally living in a world that — despite its flaws — is putting plus-size and mature models on the covers and pages of the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue. Fifty-six-year-old Nicola Martin made history earlier this year when she showed off some badass curves in SI earlier this year — and she's only been a model for three years.
"Whatever size or shape you are, you too can go out and get yourself a bikini and look good and feel good. You don't have to stay home and think, 'My body's not ready this summer.' It's not about that. It's about showing off what you've got right now," Griffin said.
They're a pretty cool accessory if you want to track your activity, but no one should be forced to wear them. However, incoming freshmen at Oral Roberts University were each required to buy the devices at the start of the fall semester to track their activity, steps, sleep and diet each day.
And, get this, the students are required to get 10,000 steps a day — and professors have access to the information to use in grading. The Tulsa, Oklahoma, school claims that it helps promote a more well-rounded education "by focusing on the whole person — mind, body and spirit," President William M. Wilson told local news station News on 6.
"The marriage of new technology with our physical fitness requirements is something that sets ORU apart."
However, the focus on exercise is rubbing some people the wrong way.
"There are so many different bodies out there; it just seems absurd to assign a grade to how a student uses their body," Kaitlin Irwin told The Mighty. Irwin — who doesn't go ORU — started a petition to get the FitBit requirement dropped.
Irwin is a blogger with Proud2Bme, a youth program for the National Eating Disorder Association (NEDA). She argues that the "whole body" focus isn't necessarily a good thing for students transitioning to life away from home.
"They’re transitioning from high school to college, they’re overwhelmed with academics, social life, and their own identity. Now ORU is adding another stressor," she told the website, adding that it could cause them to "develop an unhealthy relationship with exercise, their bodies and their self-esteem. It can encourage comparisons between different body types and capabilities and can take a mental toll on students."
Irwin doesn't have a problem with promoting activity; the problem is with the focus on creating "ideal" bodies. "[O]ur society is still trying to determine a person’s value and success based on their body."
Raise your hand if you’re against police brutality. Remember, police brutality is excessive force, it is police harming, and often killing, unarmed people. If you didn’t raise your hand, it could be because speaking out against police brutality, which, yes, requires a critique of the police, often leaving one branded as anti-police. After having such a brand (and a boycott to boot) for a video of her newest single, Formation, Beyoncé clarified the distinction between anti-police and anti-police brutality this week.
While the song does not actually say anything even tangentially related to the police, the music video has a few police-related scenes. The video opens with Bey on top of a police car, in what is supposed to be a flooded New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina. The video closes with Beyoncé and the cop car both sinking, vanishing into the depths of the flood. It shows police in riot gear, standing in a horizontal line, while a young black child dances in front of them. Toward the end of the video, the little boy stops dancing and raises his hands over his head, and the police mimic him, raising their hands as well. Additionally, the video briefly shows “Stop shooting us” written in black spray paint on a concrete wall.
How anyone could see this and immediately think “Beyoncé is anti-police” (and a great many people did) is still puzzling to me. Fortunately, Beyoncé did not back down from the chance to elucidate her motives.
On the subject of her video, she said, “But anyone who perceives my message as anti-police is completely mistaken. I have so much admiration and respect for officers and the families of officers who sacrifice themselves to keep us safe. But let's be clear: I am against police brutality and injustice. Those are two separate things.”
And indeed she is correct. The marches, the protests, the think pieces, the anger — in a word, the activism that has erupted in the last few years has been in response to police misconduct and the inaction to curb it. We do not want our rights violated, and when they are, we want justice. And then there is the fact that some populations of people are more likely to feel the effects of this than others.
Why can’t people critique police misconduct? Police swear to serve and protect all of us, and the killing of unarmed people over and over and over, to the tune of 1,145 total deaths in 2015 alone, deserves the ire of the American people, be they police officers or civilians.
To me, the distinction is simple: On one hand, you have people who reject the brutality that happens far too often by those trained and who have sworn to protect us and keep us safe. I believe that both the apathy in response to our stand against police brutality, as well as the brutality itself, can (understandably) breed fear, anger and a host of other negative emotions. I won’t say that there aren’t some people who seek out police to harm them, because of course there are, but this number of people who are actually anti-police is far lower than most people are led to believe, especially given that violence against police is at a decades-long low.
I was living in New York City when the unrest in Ferguson, Missouri, began to unfold. I marched in the rain and the cold, with signs and without, all to bring about awareness for those whose lives were unnecessarily lost. For the most part, the police who showed up to the protests were there to protect us: to make sure spectators didn’t harm us, cars didn’t run us over, etc. But after the unrest in Baltimore, they were different: clearly scared and treated those of us exercising our First Amendment right to assemble differently. They made arrests for no reason (one of those arrested was my graduate professor. I was terrified when I couldn’t find her) and had loudspeakers telling us to disperse.
They wore riot gear. My friends and peers linked hands with my husband and me; we all linked hands with strangers. We felt like we were holding on to each other for dear life. In all honestly, that march, though the protestors once again remained peaceful, was an absolutely terrifying experience. I envision and am actively fighting for an America where protests aren’t necessary for civil rights and livelihood. Where police aren’t scared and can even disarm assailants without a weapon. I dream of an America where unarmed people aren’t murdered and are not blamed for their own murder.
By using powerful images related to recent police killings in her video (the little boy is a young child like Tamir Rice, who was killed by Timothy Loehmann in Cleveland, and raises his hands like witnesses say 18-year-old Michael Brown did before being shot by Darren Wilson in Ferguson), Beyoncé is invoking the narrative of police brutality in her art.
Perhaps it is a catharsis, the way in which Bey feels about these incidents expressed through her art, to help her cope with and understand them, or perhaps to help clarify the array of feelings felt by those touched by these incidents — for those who are not. As someone who often writes for those very same reasons, that’s how I feel while watching her video. In between watching her slay, I feel my heart ache and stomach drop when there’s a little black child in front of police, because in America, that has meant death.
In truth, many people do not realize that their feelings about minorities are subconscious and often cannot be controlled. But when people start to do the work of dismantling their own implicit racism and sexism and everything else, they can start to appreciate tragic art, and the tragic realities in our society. I hope that happens for everyone. And soon. Let’s get in formation.
Being a vegetarian can be rewarding while admittedly challenging, but trying to go low carb on an already vegetarian diet is a whole different animal — figuratively speaking, of course. Cutting out meat and carbohydrates may seem virtually impossible, but fortunately you're not the first person to attempt the feat.
Vegetarians can be low carb too
Author Margo DeMello certainly thinks so. After losing 45 pounds herself on a low-carb diet, DeMello wrote The Low-carb Vegetarian, a cookbook to help other vegetarians plan low-carb meals.
"Tofu, seitan and a lot of the different fake meat products" make good staples, she suggests. "For the hot dog and hamburger products, though, you do have to look at the ingredients, because some do have a lot of carbs." As for vegetables, "carrots are out, and potatoes are out," says DeMello, "but I include a ton of the different kinds of greens, and cauliflower is a good substitute for potatoes or rice."
Anthony Leone agrees on the benefits of green leafy vegetables. Leone is the founder and owner of New York City-based low-carb eatery Energy Kitchen. "The best vegetables that are low-carb are the ones that are low on the glycemic index, such as spinach, broccoli, romaine lettuce, cucumbers with the skin on, etc.," he says. "The vegetables you would want to stay away from are carrots, beets ... and potatoes."
The soy advantage
Jason DeMoranville, author of The Core of a Balanced Diet, believes strongly in the benefits of soy. "As a staple food for vegetarians, you can't beat soy as the No. 1 vegetarian source for good digestible protein and low carbs every day," he says.
But what about beans? Vegetarians commonly know beans as a great protein source, but most varieties of beans tend to be high in carbs.
"Beans definitely have a place," says Les Harris, executive chef of the South Glastonbury, Connecticut-based Glastonbury Gourmet LLC. But since people tolerate different levels of carbohydrates in trying to lose weight, "the early stages of a low-carb diet plan may require the abstinence of beans for a limited amount of time."
Chef Jacki Pearson of St. George, Utah-based Green Valley Spa agrees. "Beans also provide a healthy protein alternative in moderate portions of half a cup," she says. "Even though a half cup serving of kidney beans has about 20 grams of carbohydrates, eaten in moderation of no more than one half cup serving of beans a day, the overall carbohydrate count can be kept down." A half cup of kidney beans also contains about 7 grams of fiber.
Fill up on fiber and healthy fats
Fruits are often restricted in the beginning of many low-carb diets but are allowed in later phases. Consult your low-carb plan to see what fruits are allowed.
"Eat foods rich in fiber, protein and healthy fats, such as nonhydrogenated, unprocessed coconut oil, olive oil, soybean oil and butter and no trans fats," suggests Karen Spirer, president of Karen's Fabulous Foods, a national food company that produces the Fabulous Tastes line of low-carb baked goods. "Avoid the hydrogenated vegetable proteins found in margarine and processed salad dressings. Healthy fats cause virtually no blood sugar elevation, and protein causes very little."
So what's a good shopping list to take to the grocery store if you're starting a low-carb vegetarian diet? The list below includes Spirer's and Harris' top suggestions.
Salad greens and other leafy vegetables — spinach, parsley, Boston and romaine lettuce, asparagus, artichoke hearts, arugula, bamboo shoots, beet greens, cabbage, cauliflower, celeriac, chard, collard greens, cucumber, broccoli, Brussels sprouts, eggplant, escarole, garlic, green onions, jicama, kale, leeks, kohlrabi, mushrooms (especially straw), mustard greens, okra, peppers (all varieties), pumpkin, radish, radicchio, rhubarb, sprouts (alfalfa and bean), string and wax beans, snow peas, Swiss chard, tomatoes, tomatillo, turnips, water chestnuts, watercress, yellow summer squash and zucchini.
Fruits
Acerola, avocado, blueberries, chayote, cantaloupe, cranberries, peaches, raspberries and strawberries.
Nuts and seeds
Almonds, walnuts, macadamia nuts, hazelnuts, pecans, Brazil nuts, cashews, pine nuts, sesame seeds, sunflower seeds and pumpkin seeds.
Legumes (limit on a strict low-carb eating plan)
Soybeans and soybean-derivative products, lentils, black-eyed peas and kidney beans.
Dairy
Eggs prepared in any manner as long as they are not fried in trans fats; heavy cream, low-carb yogurts; soy milk and coconut milk; hard cheese, such as Swiss, cheddar, Parmesan, Gouda, Edam, Jarlsberg, mozzarella, Muenster, etc.
Omelets, both plain and with vegetables and cheese. Experimenting with different cheeses (goat, sheep, cow) will add texture and flavor variety.
Tossed greens with nuts (almonds, macadamia nuts).
Vegetable stir-fry with bean curd and a sauce of herbs and cayenne pepper (to taste).
Low-carb pasta with herbs, broccoli, garlic and tomatoes with a grated hard cheese (Romano or Parmesan).
Low-carb pasta with cheese and a tomato sauce (without added sugar).
Grilled vegetables (asparagus, peppers, zucchini and summer squash) in a marinade of olive oil, salt and pepper. Add a soft goat cheese on a low-carb whole-grain bread or low-carb pasta.
The moment Nick Maiorano was voted off Survivor, fans ignited social media with a not-so-nice celebratory reaction. Many were thrilled that the self-admitted arrogant castaway was finally snuffed out of the competition. But is he really that cocky? Does he regret any of his comments watching them back on TV? How have his good looks helped him in life as he claimed in the first episode? He gave us all those details in our one-on-one interview. Plus, find out which other seasons of Survivor he had been nearly selected to compete on. Enjoy!
SheKnows: Some viewers celebrated your elimination on social media, many with not-so-nice comments about you. What's it like seeing viewers bash you in a public forum, labeling you as arrogant, a jerk and lots of other nasty things?
Nick Maiorano: [Laughs.] I don't mind it. That might be a confidence thing or an arrogance thing in itself. It's a TV show to me. I knew I was coming across that way in confessionals while I was out there. For some reason, I don't mind it whatsoever. It's fine. I think it's funny. You want somebody who you're gonna root for or root against. I'm OK with being either of those as long as you have something in that. You don't want to be in the middle. You don't want to be bland. It's funny. It's interesting. It's crazy, though, because people get a little angry with their strong opinions.
SK: Was your arrogance intentional in hopes of being portrayed more villainous?
NM: I wouldn't say it was intentional, and I know this sounds bad, but I know my surroundings. That's almost a non-self-aware thing to say, but I know it's a TV show. There [are] cameras around. I just opened up that part of my brain. I'm willing to go there even though I know the reaction might be sour. It's definitely part of my personality. I just happened to show it in a heightened experience.
Image: CBS
SK: But is that the real Nick we saw on the show?
NM: That's me being funny, if you know me. That's the context of it. If you don't know me, it's so understandable why you wouldn't like that person. It makes sense. That's why I can't get mad at people, because they don't know you. How dare you be mad at them for not liking that person they see on TV? It's definitely part of my personality and my sense of humor.
Image: CBS
SK: Would you label yourself as arrogant?
NM: Yeah, again, in a funny way. I'm humble in other situations that call for it, but if I'm with friends or somebody says, "Hey, Nick, you're ugly," I'm like, "No, I'm the best-looking guy in the room." I usually just tend to go the opposite of what anybody says. Debbie, for instance, was saying I should be a model. In confessionals I was saying, "Has Debbie ever been out of Pennsylvania? I'm a two in LA. I'm a two in New York City." Obviously, you don't see those confessionals. I just play it based on what situation I'm in.
SK: At the opening of the first episode, you introduced yourself as a member of the Beauty tribe to the viewers with the following words: "My life has definitely been easier because I'm better-looking than most people. That sounds terrible. It sounds awful, but it's the truth." Can you give us an example of how your good looks have actually helped you in life?
NM: [Laughs.] I would say people view you differently as far as I'm aware. If I was 5 feet 8 inches or 5 feet 7 inches and I didn't have tall, dark features, I think people treat you different. I think that's just the way it is. I think I get by, in a sense, from that first observation with people. I think it does benefit people. I don't think it's a good thing, but I think it's the reality of it.
Image: CBS
SK: For fans spewing hatred at you, what's your message to them?
NM: It's fine! Keep doing it if you want to do it. Whatever makes people happy, I'm for. If it makes you happy saying mean things, not-so-great things or just making an opinion, do it. I'm all for it. I'm never against that type of stuff.
Image: CBS
SK: What has it been like for you to watch the show and hear all the arrogant statements you made? Do you regret any of it, or has it been fun?
NM: It's been so fun for me. If anything, I think I probably got away with some things that didn't make air that were pretty ridiculous, and probably not as funny as I thought they'd be as I was saying them out there. I think I got lucky in that sense. It's been so much fun to watch, and the narrative the producers put on is phenomenal.
Image: CBS
SK: Can you give us an example of one of those things you say you got away with?
NM: I just said a lot of jokes or snarky comments on the Beauty tribe. They probably wouldn't come across that well if they would've aired. I was omitted from the story on Beauty, and I was almost sort of happy by that because of some of the silly things I was saying.
SK: Again, do you have any particular example?
NM: [Laughs.] I do, but I wouldn't want to say it. I'll leave that on the cutting-room floor.
Image: CBS
SK: Although it was definitely a blindside, did you have any inkling you might be voted off?
NM: Well, I was confident that I had fixed it on the beach. Michele, after we got back from the Immunity challenge, she had told me I was the target for the vote. I thought I had corrected it. Unfortunately, I didn't see that it was gonna be Michele and Julia who flipped. I thought it was going to be Scot and Jason.
Image: CBS
SK: So where was your downfall?
NM: My biggest downfall was the way I communicated with Michele. I just never could figure it out 24/7. There [were] times where I got it right, and there were so many times where I got it wrong. That was my fault. I put these super-high expectations on her, and that was wrong for me to do. She was never gonna live up to them, because I can't live up to them. That was my downfall.
Image: CBS
SK: You had won Immunity after the tribes merged, but it didn't matter because Neal was unexpectedly medically removed from the game. That meant you didn't go to Tribal Council with the ability to play your cards and vote somebody off. Can you make any connection to blame your elimination on Neal's evacuation?
NM: I think the immature way, or to make myself feel better, that would be a good scapegoat because it ruined momentum for the alliance. We didn't get to solidify a vote on paper. Yeah, I could say that. But no, I wouldn't say that's the reason, at all, if I was gonna be objective.
SK: Including Michele, who was the other person you were hoping to take to the final three?
NM: I think it would've been Julia by default. I didn't realize how tight Julia and Michele were because Michele was always the third person between Anna, Julia and Michele. I would've been open to Joe, Scot or Jason at that point.
Image: CBS
SK: Is there anybody you felt threatened by strategically?
NM: No, but again, that might be arrogant. I was usually in the middle of everything and knowing what was going on, where the group dynamics were and where they could go. That's all I thought about. "If we pull this person out of the group, how does the group dynamic change?" Unfortunately, that's probably not the right way to play because other people aren't necessarily thinking that way.
Image: CBS
SK: You went 22 days before making your first visit to Tribal Council, which is also when you were booted. Was there ever a desire for you to go to Tribal sooner? Were you looking forward to going there?
NM: Looking back, on day six or so when it was guys versus girls and I was eventually sort of on the outs with Tai, I realized we should've lost that challenge. One of the girls probably would've [gone] home. Supposedly, Anna and Julia wanted Michele out. That's what they told me for the first three days. I wish we would've lost that first challenge because that would change obviously everything.
Image: CBS
SK: Debbie was very vocal about telling others how attractive she felt you are. Was that awkward for you, or did you enjoy it?
NM: I enjoyed it. I don't mind flirting with anybody. I'm sure Debbie feels the same way. She can have a good time with anybody. It was only awkward for me when she would do it publicly. I don't like PDA, and especially in a game like Survivor. It puts a target on my back, and it puts a target on her back. Yeah, I would have flirted with her. It would've been a blast. We could've played together [laughs].
Image: CBS
SK: Have you been recognized by any fans? If so, what has their reaction been like toward you?
NM: A couple people have definitely come up to me, especially at the gym. They've just been super friendly. They just want to know: Is everybody really like this? That's the big question. They're basically asking, "Hey, are you really not that nice? Are you really that arrogant?" It's always funny. You have a good conversation, and they understand. "We get it. You're not this way exactly."
Image: CBS
SK: How did you get on the show?
NM: I applied three or four years ago randomly. I went through casting for Season 25 and Season 26. I was asked to eventually try out for Season 29, a Blood vs. Water season, but I didn't apply for that. Eventually, I applied again for Season 32 and I got on. I had kept in touch with the casting director, Lynne [Spillman], throughout those years off and on, and finally a slot opened up where I could possibly work.
Image: CBS
SK: Were you a fan of the show prior to getting on?
NM: When I applied, I had only seen like the Richard Hatch season a little bit when I was younger. When I applied, I just wanted to win a million bucks and to compete. It was random. Once I got an email from Lynne right away when I applied the first time for 25, I started to watch all the seasons. That's how I became an obsessive fan of it. I've seen every season, I listen to all the podcasts and interviews.
Image: CBS
What are your thoughts on Nick's comments? Do you appreciate his arrogance? Were you happy he was voted out? Do you think he was a smart strategic player? Join the conversation by leaving a comment now.
I blame my dogs' bad behavior on my husband. At least, that's the running joke in our family. My husband was the original owner of our now 12-year-old Chihuahua that gets his thrills out of biting strangers, so I’d say he shoulders some of the blame for our dog’s less-than-friendly attitude.
Let’s start with Chihuahua No. 1 and work our way back from there. Frankie, the 12-year-old bitey Chihuahua I just mentioned, spends most of his time in his crate when we have company over. Unless he meets you two, three or even 10 times, he’s probably going to nip an ankle, growl and most definitely bark like a banshee when you come into the house.
Image: Bethany Ramos/SheKnows: Frankie, always on alert
Funnily enough, he’s not a total monster. Once he establishes trust (after multiple meetings), he’s as sweet as can be. Out of our two Chihuahuas, he’s the most affectionate and absolutely loves his cuddles — so much so that I often have to pry him off my lap.
In the world of professional dog training, he appears to be damaged goods. Circling back to the blame I place on my husband, he owned Frankie with three other dogs during his first marriage. Since my husband was a young 20-something guy back then (and I must admit that I was a pretty bad dog owner in my early 20s too), he now sees that he didn’t socialize Frankie nearly enough, making him quite hostile with other dogs, children and all humankind.
But I haven’t even gotten to the best part yet: Chihuahua No. 2, Charlie. Charlie came into our home by way of adoption, and she still shows plenty of cracks in her furry facade. Charlie was owned by friends who were forced to give her up after having their first baby. When we got Charlie at 3 years old, she was hardly housebroken, since she’d been living in an apartment until that time. She also had countless bad habits that we have yet to break, like incessant barking, begging for food and still peeing a little on the carpet whenever she’s in the mood.
Image: Bethany Ramos/SheKnows: Don't mess with Charlie
Throw all the rotten tomatoes you like, but I promise that we aren’t the worst. Once my husband recognized his errors with Chihuahua No. 1, he spent months trying to correct his mistakes: clicker training, reward-based training, daily exercise, more failed attempts at dog park socialization, Cesar Millan-style dog whispering — you name it. Nothing worked. Granted, Frankie has benefited some from these myriad training methods, but his angry little attitude deep inside that makes him snap at every stranger he meets seems impossible to fix.
We, of course, tried the same rigorous training regimen with Chihuahua No. 2, to no avail. This little stubborn dog, as cute as she might be, should get an award for her ability to resist any type of instruction, if such an award existed. Like Frankie, Charlie comes from a notoriously unfriendly breed and also was not socialized as a pup. She didn’t receive any formal training until she was 3, and still doesn’t bat an eye at our house rules (and we have the pee stains on our carpet to prove it).
As we’re closing in on a decade spent chasing our own tails, I’m more than ready to run up the white flag. I can confidently say that we have tried almost everything with our yappy little dogs, and nothing has yet to stick. Considering that my pooches are entering the last chapters of their lives, at 12 years old and 10 years old respectively, the writing’s on the wall.
I’m also willing to cut them (and me) a break.
My dogs’ behavior isn’t going to get any better, as much as I’d like to pretend that the next hot-cool-new training method will finally be the one that works. As much as I love their scruffy little faces and smelly little bodies, my dogs are never going to be the kind of dogs you take out in public — or even around your friends. It isn't an ideal situation, but it is our reality and it doesn't mean I love them any less.
It’s been too long, we’ve made too many mistakes and I will accept my fate. I can’t teach my old dogs new tricks, but I can try to manage their bad habits, enjoy the years we have left and encourage any new pet owners to begin training at an early age. At the very least, I’ll try to keep my ankle-biters contained when you come over to my house.
Well, the moment I've been waiting for since 2011 is finally coming to fruition. On Thursday, it was announced that Freeform has greenlit a Greek reunion movie titled Greek: The Reunion. I know, I know. I cannot contain my excitement either.
The series, which aired on ABC Family before it became Freeform, ended in 2011 after four seasons and 74 episodes. For me, it was an extremely sad day, but thankfully the series and hopefully all of the original characters will soon be back in my life.
The revival movie is said to be a holiday movie in which the viewers will see their favorites return to Cyprus-Rhodes University for their five-year reunion. Can you believe it's already been five years? Series creator Patrick Sean Smith will also return as executive producer.
At this point in time, no cast members have been announced for the revival, but here's hoping they all are able to return. It just wouldn't be the same without the entire original cast, especially Scott Michael Foster as Cappie.
Don't get me wrong, I would be thrilled to see every single actor and actress reprise their roles, but Foster as Cappie will forever be my favorite. He stole my heart from the get-go and continued to hold it until the very end when he and Casey drove off into the sunset.
I mean, how could you not love him when he provided moments like these?
I'd be a horrible, terrible mom if I had a little girl.
I never wanted one. Since I was young, I wanted to be the mom of two little boys and dreaded the possibility of having a girl. I can hear the choir sing now: As long as your child's happy and healthy, you shouldn't care. Judge me if you will, but I'm unapologetic for wanting to have little boys as opposed to having a daughter.
I suppose it began around the age of 5. My mom was feuding with my paternal grandmother. It's a fight centered on a topic still difficult to discuss today. Born with a rare form of dwarfism called Diastrophic dysplasia, my long bones are only capable of reaching 36 inches. My grandmother, Pauline, grew fearful of the responsibilities tied to having a family member with a handicap. She fell victim to the ignorance of her time and she pushed for my mom to give me up for adoption. My dad, caught in the middle, sided with her.
You can always have more, Pauline said to my mom. My mom, whom I lovingly call G.I. Jane in my memoir, replied by serving divorce papers.
Through the thin walls of my home I overheard my parents arguing about it all. My dad begged for forgiveness and asked my mom to please forget what was asked of her. Gifts after gift arrived at our door from Pauline. I remember my mom yelling, "She can't buy our love!" And just as quickly as all the presents arrived, they were sent back. All but one package, a set of twin boy Cabbage Patch dolls. It was too late. I had peered around the bedroom corner and spotted them in the living room.
They wore yellow knit overalls and matching hats. Their hair was blonde and looped short. And their eyes were blue. They held hands in their giant yellow box and looked beautiful. I pretended to feed and wash them, took them to the doctors and then the park. When it was time for me to have surgery in order to correct my bowing bones, I took them with me to the hospital.
I never cared for the little girl Cabbage Patch dolls. I never asked for the dolls with long silky blonde hair. And I certainly never played tea party with multiple bright-eyed little girl dollies. Even when I didn't know how to pinpoint the nature of my disability, I knew these dolls were unlike me, and I struggled to relate to them.
Here's the second issue; I didn't want to relate to them.
When my friends came over to play, the way they pretended to raise their dolls involved a focus on things like playing dress up, going on picnic dates with Prince Charming and even marriage. That's not how I played. It made me uncomfortable, because even though I had many friends, I still felt a disconnected with fully physically functioning little girls.
I wanted to teach my boys how to do other things. I imagined bringing them to school and then switched roles as their teacher. I wanted to show them how to be strong when it was time for their doctor's appointments with Dr. Duck (a stuffed animal I had). These were all things I knew how to do. I cared less about pretend picnics, because I had never had the ability to go on a real one.
"Tiffy," my mom said to me in the toy store, "look at this Cabbage Patch preemie. Isn't her little gown pretty? Look, she comes with her own baby monitor." I wanted nothing to do with her. I didn't want to plan her wedding, play dress up or send her on stupid dates with Prince Charming. I kept to my boys, because it was easier.
Not every little girl dreams of doing those things. I dreamed of other things first before marriage, like being the general of my own army, being a nurse and performing open-heart surgery, sailing the ocean to find long-lost treasures. Even finding ways to make sharks pets (I was that weird girl who rooted for the great white in Jaws).
As a teenager, I made the choice to undergo bone-lengthening surgery. It was a procedure that took me out of high school and away from most of my friends. I spent 14 grueling hours on the operating table. The hope was to lengthen my bones enough to help me live independently. While my girlfriends fussed over how to straighten their hair and curl their bangs, the labels in their clothes and what time they needed to be at Roller Kingdom (where all the cool kids went to skate in my neighborhood), I was concerned with reaching the top of my head, so I could brush my hair. I stressed over reaching my feet to put my socks on. And I worried over the thought of reaching the pedals of any car to go anywhere.
The consequence was a divide not just between my friends, but also between me and the idea of what it meant to be a girl.
My definition of a woman is this: A total boss. A bitch with class who never takes the word No at face value. And I'm not afraid of that word, either... bitch. I rather embrace it, because my mom has had to be one many times to ensure I was cared for correctly in the hospital.
On numerous occasions my mom also said to me, "Don't ever be like a typical woman. They are catty. Too boy crazy." She often called the majority of them chicky-dos who cackle and gossip. Do something better with your time, she would drill into me.
She helped keep me focused on school and exercise, and showed me how to take out my own stitches. With her support I accomplished something else that many doubted would ever happen: total independence. Though it took years of hard work and rehabilitation, the surgery worked. I was able to lengthen my limbs a total of 14 inches, the most anyone with Diastrophic dysplasia has ever achieved.
After I graduated college, I met my husband, a tall Marine with tattoos that snaked up both biceps. He could crush Prince Charming with one blow of his combat boot. When he returned from a yearlong deployment, I became pregnant with our first child. Call me sexist if you must, but I remember saying out loud, "God, please make it a boy!" I even went as far as to purchase little outfits adorned with dragons, knights and baseballs.
"It's silly to buy anything until we know the sex," he said.
Inside, I felt there was no choice. I had to have a baby boy, because I'd be a terrible mom if it were a little girl. I wouldn't want to teach her to paint her nails. I didn't want to place her in pageants and show her how to vacuum, cook or make a perfect picnic basket. I would want to teach her how to put her fists up and fight against social norms. I'd push her to get on the debate team, and I'd scoff if she made homecoming queen. And most of all, I'd teach her to get a straw and suck it up, just as my mom had done when I faced pain and felt like giving in to my disability.
I would raise an absolute unequivocal Bitch.
No, I'd be a horrible, terrible mother if I had a little girl. I wouldn't raise her the way I'm "supposed" to. And I want nothing to do with it.
Turns out, someone up above agrees the world just isn't ready for me for to have a daughter. My son Titan was born 6 pounds, 10 ounces. Five months ago, I gave birth to my second son, Tristan. My boys may not be twins beautifully wrapped up in a yellow box, but they are exactly what I always wanted. And thanks to my childhood, I know exactly what kind of girl to teach them to stay away from, what kind of boss lady to bring home. I'm unapologetic about that, too.
Not everyone was excited to see the Rogue One: A Star Wars Story teaser trailer launch this morning. The problem was a female lead, rebel fighter Jyn Erso, played by Felicity Jones. For many online critics, it's disturbingly hard to process another female lead immediately after the franchise cast one this winter with The Force Awakens.
Overzealous Star Wars fans took to Twitter to blast their misogyny at the franchise. "I guess every Star Wars will have a female lead now, even Han Solo will be a woman in his movie," wrote one commenter. Another one claims the only reason the film would have a female lead is for political correctness.
Thankfully, not everyone is so scared of a woman in the pilot seat. Fans also defended Disney's choice to follow Erso's story. "If you can't handle a female lead in a Star Wars flick, then perhaps the 21st century just isn't for you," one pro-Jones commenter tweeted. Another agreed, "Amazing to see that Star Wars episode VIII: Rogue One is going to have a female lead! Felicity Jones at that! About bloody time!"
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The debate is sure to heat up as we get closer to Rogue One's December release. Will the film still gross millions of dollars even with a — gasp — female lead? Something tells us it'll do just fine.
Jill and Derick Dillard celebrated baby Israel's first birthday this week, and they marked the occasion in the most creative way. The couple wrote an open letter to Israel on their blog, sharing some of their favorite memories from their first year with their son. "Since he won't remember all the little things that are going on right now (and we will likely soon forget!) you'll see we have tried to document many of those little things," they wrote.
"On Sunday you got to try cake and ice cream for the first time with a bunch of your friends watching you (you smeared it all over your legs! lol). You are a handsome little fella, and here in Central America you stand out a little with your blonde hair and blue eyes. You are walking everywhere now and love to play soccer (fútbol) with your friends," they continued.
They shared how Israel is learning to speak and share. "You can say, "mama," "papa," "nur-nur" (when you wanna nurse) and "uh oh," as well as several words in sign language. You think that anytime you say "more" or "please" in sign language you should be given whatever you're asking for."
They even shared some of his baby fears: "You love water, as long as it's not the waves at the beach that look like they're gonna get you."
Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar also recorded a sweet video message for Israel, wearing their trademark matching shirts. Do we think the Duggars will still be on the air by the time Israel is old enough to revisit these messages? My money's on yes.
Jules Wainstein seems to fit right in on the new season of The Real Housewives of New York, but what does the cast really think of her?
Turns out, they are big fans!
Sonja Morgan said she loves Wainstein for a rather narcissistic reason: She's just like herself.
"Oh, Jules is great! Jules is great!" Morgan told Us Weekly at the Real Housewives of New York Season 8 premiere party. "She's very similar to me. She's a class clown. She's not guarded at all."
But Morgan warns that Wainstein's lack of guile could be her downfall, too. "She's an open book, and very sensitive," she explained. "So, that together can be very dangerous in our crowd."
Ramona Singer, who has known Wainstein for years, says she likes the new addition because she's hot and nice. Seriously.
"Jules — I've known before the show — and I think what I love about Jules is how she just has a fresh spirit, looks at everything optimistically," Singer said. "Always has a smile on her face, and she's not bad to look at, either!"
The only person who did not have something nice to say about Wainstein was Bethenny Frankel, who outright accused her costar of having an eating disorder on the season premiere.
"I wrote a book called Naturally Thin," Frankel declared. "This is not naturally thin. It's the kind of thin that makes people around you uncomfortable. I never had an eating disorder. I had a mother who had an eating disorder, and I've been around it, and I understand it."
I wanted to love Trainwreck. I didn’t know much about Amy Schumer at the time of its release, but the trailer was hilarious and something I related to on a personal level. Unfortunately, when I finally sat down to watch it, I didn’t like it at all.
Hear me out before you tweet angry things at me.
I fully support Schumer as a writer and an actor. Writing and acting an entire feature film seems like an impossible feat, especially for women in Hollywood. So I applaud her for getting it done.
What I don’t like about Schumer is the style of comedy she used in Trainwreck. It’s the same style that was made popular by Lena Dunham’s show Girls. And basically, it’s all about showing women being terrible people. I’m not a fan.
I get where it started. Women’s roles in movies and on TV all followed one basic concept: clueless girl can’t do anything right in her life until she falls in love. It was boring and completely unrelatable for most of us.
Creating characters who were complex with complete lives was a necessary and welcome change. But, in an effort to get away from the damsel in distress theme, Schumer and others have swung into this other theme where women are inconsiderate and kind of annoying.
The most annoying part of Trainwreck was Schumer’s character took no responsibility for her behavior, particularly when she treated her boyfriend terribly. She labeled it being independent, blamed it on her father or was downright oblivious that any of it was rude.
But here’s a general life rule: Making someone feel insignificant in your life isn’t self-love or independence. And when you’re in your 30s, your parents’ divorce can’t be the reason you’re a jerk. You’re an adult getting away with bad behavior because you don’t let people who call you out on it stay in your life.
This can’t be the new version of women we write into all of our movies and TV shows.
I don’t think Schumer will be stuck writing all her characters this way. And I don’t have a bad opinion of her in general. I just don’t think Trainwreck was a good movie.
OK, now you can tweet me angry things if you want to.
My friend's eldest son is four years older than mine. We both tell it like it is, so I look to her for what’s coming next. She’s a trove of information, or was — until her boy entered puberty, and she entered denial.
She was firm that her husband was the only man-child in their home. “Nothing's going on with him yet. He must be on the later end.” She happily ignored his physical growth, likely intimate interactions with teenage girls, and she was certain he was not masturbating. It seemed to me probable that these things were happening, but what did I know?
Now that my son is 12-1/2, Iknow what she knew. It seems my son is following hers. Actually, it seems I am following her. “No sexual maturation and definitely no jerking off are happening in my home."
While I don’t usually shy away from observing and discussing that which is in front of me, this I avoid at all costs. My fiancé and most other men I have asked agree that by the time they had enjoyed a year or two in double digits, they had enjoyed a night or two with themselves.
I’m not searching, but as a single mom and the sole parent in our house half the time, anything can happen on my watch, so it’s best to be on the lookout. I don’t happen upon any locked or even closed bedroom doors. As of yet, there’s been no unusual evidence in the hamper, no extremely long showers, and time to time when I peek my head into the bathroom to discuss dinner, it’s been fine. According to my friends, none of their sons are doing it either. Nope, nothing, nada, not our boys.
They are getting close to surpassing us in height, they need new clothes and shoes monthly, they stink, and while many of their faces are still lovably smooth, there is some actual hair under some arms. Which makes it all the more curious that we are all confident in our assertions that nothing is going on between the sheets. Or in the shower. Or anywhere else we don’t want to think about.
According to statistics from the National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior, nearly three-quarters of boys ages 14 to 17 report to having ever masturbated. And a national probability sample of men ages 14 to 94 reported in TheJournal of Sexual Medicine in 2010 showed that of males ages 14 to 15, 42.9 percent masturbated in the past month and 62.1 percent of males ages 14 to 15 masturbated in the past year.
A fiancé, statistics and my very own tween changing weekly in front of me at the kitchen table are all screaming the truth in my face. As a 41-year-old woman, I know masturbation to be a healthy part of life and sexuality. I would view it as a positive, normal and expected step in both my children’s maturity when it comes. But clearly I have a problem accepting, right now, that which is positive, normal and expected with my son. Why? If I don’t usually shy away from the awkward with my kids, if I’ve already faced sex talks with success, what am I (and all my friends) so afraid of?
It’s not the act of wanking off. Brits usually sound much classier than Americans, guess not always. I’m reluctant for my firstborn to take a big no-turning-back step into maturity. Little boys playing with their genetic natural toy is funny — “Look, Mom. I made it big.” Very young girls discovering that a touch here and there feels good is natural and harmless. Put a maturing teen together with his maturing body, and it’s no longer harmless; it’s very real and very serious.
Sex, love, disease, pregnancy, heartache, rape, sexual assault, breakups and makeups, peer pressure, porn and all the rest are part of adult life. I’m not ready for him to turn that corner. I like that his biggest problem is when we fight over bedtime and another bowl of ice cream. Small kids, small penises, small problems. Big kids, big problems, penises and more.
A heart-to-heart on jerking off isn’t my most desired evening activity, but I can handle it. I’m not avoiding it because I’m squeamish. I’m burying my head in the sand because this next phase is going to be a battlefield for the both of us, and I want to hold on to every last bit of sweet childhood that I can for as long as I can.
That’s something my fiancé, friends and I can all agree on.
Pan-fried Chinese dumplings are my favorite appetizer to order when I'm at an Asian restaurant. They're so dang good dipped in tangy, vinegar-based dipping sauce.
Image: Nancy Foster/SheKnows
Well, guess what! You can make them in your very own kitchen.
Image: Nancy Foster/SheKnows
To start, to a large bowl, add ground pork, egg, green onion, garlic, ginger root, sugar, soy sauce, sesame oil, cornstarch, salt and pepper.
Image: Nancy Foster/SheKnows
Then just mix all ingredients together. Super easy.
Image: Nancy Foster/SheKnows
I like the way the dumplings look when using round wonton wrappers (gow gee wrappers), but sometimes I can only find square ones at the store. So I used a cookie cutter to make them round. But feel free to use the square wrappers if you like, or maybe you'll get lucky and find the round ones in the grocery store.
Image: Nancy Foster/SheKnows
Brush water around the edges of the wrapper.
Image: Nancy Foster/SheKnows
Add about 1 teaspoon of the meat mixture toward the top of the wrapper, leaving empty space around the edges.
Image: Nancy Foster/SheKnows
Fold the wrapper in half over the meat.
Image: Nancy Foster/SheKnows
Pinch the edges together tightly.
Image: Nancy Foster/SheKnows
Set the dumplings on waxed or parchment paper.
Image: Nancy Foster/SheKnows
Cover them with a damp paper towel to prevent them from drying out while making the remaining dumplings.
Image: Nancy Foster/SheKnows
Once the dumplings are assembled, you can freeze them at this point until you're ready to cook them. To freeze, keep the dumplings on that same pan or plate, and place the whole thing in the freezer just long enough for the dumplings to start to freeze. Then transfer the dumplings to a large Ziploc freezer bag, and place them back into the freezer to continue freezing. Par-freezing the dumplings before putting them into the bag should help prevent them from sticking together when frozen.
Image: Nancy Foster/SheKnows
When you're ready, you'll need to cook your dumplings in batches. Heat a large skillet on medium heat, and add the canola oil (2 tablespoons of oil per batch in a large skillet). Wait a moment for the oil to heat up, and then add the pot stickers. Let them cook until the edges start to brown (about 3 or 4 minutes).
Image: Nancy Foster/SheKnows
Then very, very carefully, add the water to the pan. Be super careful, because the hot oil will pop. So stand back while pouring in the water.
Image: Nancy Foster/SheKnows
Once the water is in the pan, bring it to a boil.
Image: Nancy Foster/SheKnows
Cover with a lid, and turn the heat down slightly.
Image: Nancy Foster/SheKnows
Let cook until the meat inside the dumplings is thoroughly cooked (about 8 to 10 minutes). When the water evaporates, the dumplings will brown just a bit. Watch the dumplings closely, and don't let them cook too much after the water evaporates, or they'll burn. Transfer the dumplings to serving dishes.
Image: Nancy Foster/SheKnows
In a medium-size bowl, mix together all the sauce ingredients.
Image: Nancy Foster/SheKnows
Serve the dumplings while warm with the balsamic vinegar sauce.
1 (12-ounce, approximately 50-count) package round pot sticker (gow gee) wrappers or square wonton wrappers
1/4 cup canola oil (Amount may vary depending on the size of the pan and number of batches needed for cooking all the dumplings. Use about 2 tablespoons of oil per batch made in a medium-size to large-size skillet.)
1/2 cup water, for adhering edges of wonton wrappers
2 cups water, for cooking the dumplings. (Use approximately 1 cup water per batch of dumplings made in a medium-size to large-size skillet. Depending on the number of batches, another cup of water may be needed.)
Cilantro sprigs, for garnish (optional)
For the balsamic vinegar sauce
2 tablespoons balsamic vinegar
1/4 cup soy sauce
1/2 teaspoon sesame oil
1/4 cup rice vinegar
1-1/2 teaspoons sugar
1 teaspoon peeled and diced ginger root
1 pinch dried red pepper flakes (optional)
Directions:
For the dumplings
To a large bowl, add the ground pork, green onion, garlic, ginger root, soy sauce, sesame oil, egg, sugar, cornstarch, pepper and salt. Mix all the ingredients together.
On a large plate, lay a wonton wrapper, and with your finger or a pastry brush, add water around the edges.
Spoon on approximately 1 teaspoon of the meat mixture toward 1 side of the wrapper, leaving empty space around the edges.
Fold the wrapper in half over the meat.
Pinch the edges tightly together. Set the dumplings on a cookie sheet or large plates lined with waxed or parchment paper.
Repeat the process to make the remaining dumplings. Lay a damp paper towel over the completed dumplings so they don't dry out while you are making the remaining ones.
Cook the dumplings in batches. Heat a large skillet on medium heat, and add the canola oil (about 2 tablespoons of oil per batch). Let the canola oil heat for just a moment, and add the dumplings. Let them cook until the edges start to brown.
Very carefully, add the water to the pan. Be careful, and step back when adding the water, because the oil is hot and will spatter.
Once the water comes to a boil, cover with a lid, and turn down the heat slightly.
Let cook until the meat is thoroughly cooked (steamed), about 8 – 10 minutes.
Remove the lid; the water should be evaporated by then. Let cook for just a moment to brown the bottoms of the dumplings.
Remove from the pan, and serve warm with the balsamic vinegar sauce.
For the balsamic vinegar sauce
To a medium-size bowl, add all the ingredients, and whisk together.
Image: Nancy Foster, design by Tiffany Egbert/SheKnows
Some 200 million people use Instagram, the addictive photo-centric app, to share their photos with friends and strangers alike. And while most play around with the many filters for fun, some users have found ways to make a serious living off the social media outlet.
Using mainly their phones, these photographers are often earning thousands of dollars per photo just by uploading and sharing them on their personal feeds. So how do they do it? What makes their Ludwig-filtered photo of the Brooklyn Bridge more lucrative than yours? The answer boils down to sponsorship interest.
Over the past five years since Instagram's inception, brands have become more and more interested in advertising through Instagrammers. There are two reasons for this — one, because it allows them to reach a more targeted audience in a way that doesn't feel like advertising, and two, because it's much cheaper than traditional advertising. It's especially helpful if the brand in question is looking to target a millennial audience (aka age 35 and under), because they make up 90 percent of the app's users.
As such, the Instagrammer business has grown exponentially and several social media companies have begun to emerge as liaisons between popular users and brands. Much like managers of successful actors, these companies foster a roster of these photographers, helping to match brands with the ones that complement their style.
One such company is Dash Hudson, which is described by its CEO Thomas Rankin as a "one-stop marketing platform." Rankin tells SheKnows brands seek out certain Instagrammers "to help them tell the brand story. Brands benefit because their products get featured in original content, in an organic way, and presented to a new audience."
What are brands looking for in an Instagrammer?
According to Rankin brands are looking for two things when it comes to choosing an Instagrammer — someone who has a strong, unique voice, and a large audience. Now what they mean by large can vary from company to company, but many social media agencies are now looking for users with 10,000 followers or more.
A prime example of this is Instagram star Brian DiFeo, who joined Instagram a few weeks after it launched in 2010. While he had little to no photography experience, the app and its users fueled his passion for it. As far as his "influencer status," that developed rather organically.
"Instagram asked a few of its users to start Meetup groups, so I hosted an Instagram Meetup in March 2011," he told SheKnows. "About 50 people came and 5 people presented on mobile photography and the Instagram community. Over the course of 2011, the Meetup group grew to include hundreds of people, which led to brands asking to sponsor our events. I also became a suggested user, and Instagram featured me in a blog post."
By 2012, he was asked to take photos for Fashion Week, and a month later, he started his social media agency, Mobile Media Lab.
How do I get my photos noticed?
According to both Rankin and DiFeo, it's all about delivering consistently compelling, creative content, and following up by engaging with the targeted community. DiFeo told SheKnows, "if I post a photograph for a travel brand, I will go to the #travel tag (and similar tags) in order to engage with all the recent photos that used that tag. The theory is, the people who just posted with that tag are probably looking at Instagram at that moment so if I like and/or comment on their photo, there is a good chance they check out my account and like what they see."
Of course, DiFeo's exemplary photography skills don't hurt either.
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Not to mention having an adorable puppy.
What does it take to get picked up by an social media agency?
At Mobile Media Lab, DiFeo says, "we are open to any talented content creators who has something unique about their account: a passion, a theme, a talent, or an interest." Of course followers in the five figures helps considerably.
As far as Dash Hudson goes, Rankin feels similarly, but a "growing, engaged audience" is the emphasis, as well as a "professional collaborative attitude" for both photographers and brands.
How do I make sure my feed doesn't start looking too commercial?
You always want to pair yourself with brands that complement your feed. That way, your followers won't feel like they're being advertised to. However, backlash can happen because you have to be candid when your taking photos for sponsors. It's all about being as subtle and creative as you can be, while still getting the job done.
What's the best way to approach this business if you're just starting out?
Difeo says posting consistently good work, and remaining actively engaged with the community is key. "Make sure you have an email in your bio so brands and agencies can contact you. I suggest you sign up for all of the influencer networks out there, which will increase the amount of job offers you get. Keep posting your best images, and be consistent in posting (once a day is good)."
On the other hand, Rankin suggests not to push it if it doesn't happen right away. "Don't overthink it or try too hard. Be yourself and create something meaningful, and hopefully you will find an audience that digs what you do. Only then, and only if it makes sense, should you think about turning it into a business."
Dating in college as a virgin was an emotional battlefield. It felt like I had this horrible secret I needed to keep hidden at all costs or I'd lose any chance of finding a boyfriend. It didn't help that my alma mater, Northwestern University, was fervently anti-dating. You either hooked up with people, or you were magically in a relationship — there was no in between.
I joke that Northwestern operated like Tinder years before Tinder was a thing. Most guys I met my freshman year were in a fraternity, and that meant they were of one of two mindsets — they were looking for their future wife or a one-night stand. Since I was looking for neither a husband nor a quick fix, I often found myself going home alone on a Saturday night. After a year of this and watching all my friends go through crazy and fun (-looking) experiences with guys, my virginity started to become a heavy burden. While part of me was more than ready to give in to the hookup culture and just get it over with, the other part was determined to make that first time special.
Thus, I ended up losing my virginity to what I thought would be a one-night stand but ended up becoming an unnecessary relationship. The guy — let's call him Tim — was an amazing drummer who was never not sans girl on his arm. My friend who played music with him told me he liked me two days before he and his roommates were having a party. Thus the stage was set for my de-virginizing.
I arrived two hours late, quickly downed four shots of vodka and approached him. Within minutes we were in his tiny room populated by a large marimba and other drum accoutrements. I'll skip over the dirty details — let's just say he did not expect to have sex that night, but I was on a drunken mission with very little training under my belt. It was awkward, then uncomfortable, then painful, then awful. I sneaked out early that morning and shame-sprinted back to my dorm to pass out. I woke up to a voicemail from him saying last night was fun (euphemism) and would I like to go to dinner sometime. This might've been a happy ending if I'd actually liked him like that (which I didn't) or if he hadn't felt obligated to date me because I gave him my virginity. This "relationship" went on for months, until I got up the courage to say, "Who are we kidding?"
Now imagine this somewhat weird, virginity-losing experience 10 years in the future. Suddenly it's not so adorably sad and teen movie worthy. Older adult virgins live lives that are far less funny than Steve Carell's in The 40-Year-Old Virgin. It's lonely, anxiety-producing and usually doesn't come with a happy ending.
The Kinsey Institute recently published a study on how adult virgins experience the dating world today in The Journal of Sex Research. When they asked 5,000 people on a wide age spectrum whether or not they'd date a virgin, most who'd had sex said no. This simple survey question confirms the fear most adult virgins have, which in turn makes them even more reluctant to date, thus perpetuating the cycle.
But it gets worse. Even though a much larger number of college-age students are in fact virgins, the survey found that the majority of younger virgins were not interested in dating other virgins. So you can see how I could've developed a bit of a complex around my own virginity when I was in college. Similar to job hunting, people are generally reluctant to go with inexperience no matter how desirable the candidate might look on the outside.
While the percentage of Americans who remain virgins past 30 is relatively low (1.9 percent, according to the CDC), if you're currently in the dating world, you should be aware that they're out there. And if they don't come clean about their virgin status until right before you get sexually involved, don't hold it against them. You know it was probably the only way you'd end up in such an intimate situation with them in the first place, and if they were comfortable enough with you to make it that far, the awkward sex might be worth it.
"There was a chance that [a] f***ing piece of glitter in my eye could actually kill me," she wrote in a series of nine detailed updates and photo albums posted to Imgur, adding that it was caused by craft glitter and mold coming together to make "horrible moldy babies" in her eye.
"I beg you, please wear eye protection when dealing with glitter."
The extremely graphic photos document the whole process over the past year, from the first doctor visits to her most recent post talking about her prosthetic eye.
"I wish I could say I got the prosthetic and lived happily ever after with no issues," she wrote on her latest update, posted earlier this week. "That's not the case."
Her big eyes made creating the prosthetic difficult — and her insurance company wouldn't cover a "cosmetic" item.
"The prosthetic is a piece of acrylic sitting on top of muscle and Erica-insides that aren't used to being touched," she wrote. "It's also not breathable or any of that good stuff. Which means there's rubbing. So much rubbing. Which leads to irritation and infection. It's not uncommon that it does this glamorous swelling and crusting combination."
Diaz stays positive despite the setbacks, adding that she now does an "awesome Fetty Wap" impression, referring to the rapper who also lost an eye.
Losing her eye also put things into perspective. She wrote that she quit performing several years ago because she was "too fat and too geeky and too funny looking and wrongwrongwrong (sic)."
"Then I lost my eye and very easily could have lost my life. Over glitter," she continued. "I am generally an upbeat person but when you've always thought you were a sideshow freak in the looks department and now the reflection you're looking at is a bald fat cyclops — well it messes with your head."
Her husband and friend helped "guide her back" to her love of music — and now she has an awesome perspective on her individuality and what she has to contribute to the world.
"I didn't get any taller. I didn't get any thinner. I didn't get any more normal, shit if anything losing an eye made me even more of the odd one out. I'm not like everyone else," she continued. "I never will be. But there I am, up there with the band back doing the things I love to do."
"So yeah, I lost an eye but it was the sucker punch that I needed to remember who I was."
Paris and Prince Jackson are maintaining a close bond with their late father, Michael Jackson, in a very permanent way: with tattoos.
To celebrate Paris' 18th birthday, the brother-sister duo hit up Justin Lewis at Timeless Tattoo in Los Angeles for some ink. While they did not get matching designs, they both chose art that will always remind them of their dad.
Prince chose an Egyptian design for his back, the deity Anubis, whose role was to usher souls into the afterlife after he weighed their hearts (symbolically, of course) to determine if they were worthy of the realm of the dead.
What does this design have to do with MJ? Michael had a deep fascination with Egyptian mythology, even heavily featuring such imagery in the theme of his video for the song "Remember the Time."
Paris went in an entirely different direction. She had the words "Queen of My Heart" inked on her arm in Michael's handwriting.
Paris Jackson tattoo 1
Paris Jackson tattoo 1
Paris Jackson tattoo 2
Paris Jackson tattoo 2
She explained, "'Queen of My Heart' in his handwriting. To everyone else he was the King of Pop. To me, well, he was the king of my heart."
And surprise! Not content to just honor one important loved one, Paris tattooed her other arm with a dedication to her grandmother, Katherine Jackson, who was revered by Michael and gained custody of his children after his death.
