OK, real talk: You tell me I will be indulging in a $35,000 Thanksgiving dinner, and my reaction will be something like this: 

GIF credit: Giphy

Now don't get me wrong — I am in no way opposed to someone treating me to a $35,000 dinner, but there is no reason in the world a turkey dinner needs to cost anywhere north of, say, $25. Hell, our family meal for 12 costs only a couple of hundred, and we don't exactly mail it in.

But if you have an influx of cash and are so inclined, Old Homestead Steakhouse in New York City is happy to take your money in exchange for a Thanksgiving meal full of food world buzzwords. Yes, you can count on the wagyu beef and the caviar, but there's another benefit that just might be priceless to those younger members of the family who happen to be taken by large-balloon spectacles. And no, I'm not talking about a scary clown making "things" out of latex. Shudder.

Photo credit: bikephotomusic/Flickr

On that note, happy Thanksgiving! I hope your meal is as tasty as this $35,000 extravaganza.

More fun Thanksgiving reads

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I had just delivered our fourth child and while Facebook had been my primary new-parent tool in announcing her birth and receiving well-wishes from family and friends, I also noticed something disturbing about my log-ons.

They were slowly taking over my life.

Of course, I was obsessed with posting pictures of our new addition and gobbling up the "She's so beautiful!" comments, even though let's face it — most newborns all pretty much look the same, gorgeous as they are to us, their mothers. And of course, I've always enjoyed the excuse of breastfeeding a baby to indulge in aimless Facebook scrolling into all hours of the night.

But considering that my baby did something adorable (in my eyes) approximately every 0.4 seconds and considering she also nursed approximately every 0.8 seconds, I was spending a lot of time on my phone. I'd wake up, stumble to the rocking chair to feed the baby and fumble my hand around on the dresser in the dark for it, I'd look at it first thing in the morning and I'd never not have my phone at my side during the day.

It had almost become a point where my phone was my lifeline to the outside world, an escape from the harsh reality of being the solo adult home all day in a house full of little kids. I knew, logically, of course, that I had become addicted, but I didn't know how to stop. I mean, it's not like I could sit there and feed my daughter and do nothing!

In an ironic turn of events, Facebook itself gave me the answer I had been looking for. Disgusted with myself for the repeated, "Mom, are you listening to me?" frustrations lobbed my way via my older kids and fed up with the repeated demands that I download some ridiculous messenger app, a radical idea occurred to me — what would happen if I simply deleted Facebook from my phone?

Could I survive without it? Would my fingers know what to do when I held my phone without automatically clicking over to the standard blue-and-white box? What did life pre-Facebook even look like? I blearily could remember signing up for my first Facebook account, way back when the site actually was for college students, but still, eerily could not recall how I spent my days without constantly checking Facebook.

The more I thought about it, the more excited I got. No more temptations! No more mindless scrolling when I honestly have better things to be doing! No more "who commented on whose picture" and "invite me to play one more Farmville game and you're dead" throes of rage! I deleted the Facebook app and immediately felt a sense of freedom I didn't know I was missing.

Of course, I'd be lying if I said I still wasn't "connected" during the day. Social media is here to stay and I owe a bit part of my career to it, so I'm not complaining. But I finally realized that I don't need to be plugged in all day, every day to still enjoy the good parts about Facebook or Instagram or whatever new app will pop up.

It felt so good to delete that app and no longer feel lured to click, scroll, comment and share endlessly. Because that's the real draw, isn't it? There's always something fresh, something new and something super-duper exciting just around the corner.

Except of course, that, I was missing the real excitement that was right in front of me all along. And wouldn't you know it? My baby really is as cute as I made her out to be in all those Facebook pictures.

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Herself.

Harsh! Did Bette Midler just call Ariana Grande a "whore"?

Grande, of course, responded to Midler's whore comments yesterday in the nicest way we could possibly imagine, which must have made Midler feel like a terrible person. Terrible enough that she's calling herself names now.

In Grande's Twitter response, the young singer said that she's always admired Midler. The pop star even accompanied the post with an image of Midler flaunting a sexy and skimpy bikini back in the day, saying she wishes that version of Midler would return, instead of the one who throws shade.

Ariana Grande's reported diva 'tude makes life coach quit

And while Midler did make a point to compliment Grande's voice in her tweet, she didn't exactly apologize for her "slither" couch comments. And she definitely didn't take back the whore comment. She just agreed with Grande and called herself a whore, too.

5 Times Ariana Grande's "Love Me Harder" video makes us cringe

Uh, we don't really think that was Grande's point. What we think the singer meant is that Midler shouldn't be judging what society deems as acceptable behavior for women these days.

We're just going to go ahead and say there are a ton of singers these days doing way worse things than Grande. If Midler was going to call out the young and scandalous, she could have picked a much better target. (We don't need to name names. We're sure you can come up with some on your own.)

Don't worry, Bette, we still love you!

Do you think this battle between the old and new whores is over now? Or, will Grande comment again on Midler's sort-of apology tweet?

7 Fresh theories about American Horror Story: Freak Show's Pepper

The Indian actress happens to be the Guinness World Record holder for smallest woman — at 20 years old, she's only 23 inches tall.

"When people see me on TV, they become very happy because they don't have to interact with me," Jyoti told ET through a Hindi translator. "When they start interacting with me they ask me questions like I'm a baby or treat me like I'm a baby and hold me like I'm a baby, and that's what they do wrong, really."

Amge is a newcomer on American Horror Story; she joined the cast as part of the current season, Freak Show. Her small stature is due to a kind of dwarfism called achondroplasia, ET reports.

Let's dissect the AHS Season 5 top hat theories, shall we?

The young actress' small size comes in handy for her role, which she said she enjoys.

"In American Horror Story she has to act but it's not normal acting," her translator explained to ET. "She has to get in cages and boxes and other things and pumpkins and that's the most fun part about working in this show and she doesn't know what's about to happen from episode to episode."

Freak Show is the fourth season of American Horror Story. Set in a small 1950s town in Florida, it follows a cast of misfits trying to make a living as a carnie show. Despite the sensitive subject material, Amge's translator said she's not offended by the role or the season's title.

"She didn't have any reservations because even though the name of the show is Freak Show nobody is a freak here," her translator said.

AHS' disturbing trend of violence against women needs to stop

American Horror Story: Freak Show airs Wednesday nights at 10 p.m. on FX.

Most notably, wondering why our skin is flaking off like snowfall. We caught up with women's health and anti-aging expert Dr. Susan Lin to find out how to troubleshoot dry winter skin with five tips that take less than five minutes each.

1. Hang a wet towel over your door

Moisten a bath towel before bedtime, and hang it over your door frame before going to sleep at night. Doing so emulates the effect of a humidifier, for a fraction of the cost. "A simple wet towel works to hydrate the air," explained Lin, which can prevent dry patches from forming.

2. Seal your lotion with oil

After using a moisturizer on your dry patches, seal it in with a product like Vaseline or coconut oil. "You can use any petroleum jelly, natural oil or vitamin C serum," said Lin. Oils hold in your skin's natural moisture, which can revitalize dryness overnight.

3. Ban hot showers

It's tempting to warm up in a blazing hot shower, but Lin advises against the practice. "Wash with cooler water in your shower," she said. "If you must use hot water, keep your shower short to prevent further dryness."

4. Choose a non-lathering soap

Lathering is synonymous with cleaning, right? Nope, says Lin, lathering just strips the skin of its protective outer layers. "Use natural soaps fortified with essential oil instead. Moisturizing soaps shouldn't lather."

5. Reap the benefits of toner

Finally, if your skin still resists moisture after you troubleshoot, Lin suggests that you invest in one or two products that can tone and rejuvenate the skin from the inside out. "A balancing toner both exfoliates dry, flaky skin, while soothing underlying irritation," she said. A good toner also avoids the irritation that can occur with harsh exfoliants. She suggests MD Skin Balancing Solution for deeply troubled winter skin.

Now get out there and enjoy the snowfall — you know, the variety that doesn't come from your skin.

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This Corgi is nothing if not persistent. First, she circles the pumpkin, bouncing around in an attempt to size up her opponent and suss out the situation. Then, she goes in for the kill, trying to find any part of the pumpkin she can get inside her mouth. But, when the pumpkin starts spinning, so does the puppy's mind when she can no longer make contact with the pumpkin's stalk.

Despite finally getting the pumpkin upright again, the puppy continues to be bested by the pumpkin's rolling ability, and we continue to be bemused at how long we could actually continue to watch the puppy and the pumpkin go at it.

Final score: Pumpkin — 1, Corgi — 0. Where do we sign up to live stream the rematch?

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It turns out, the way we dry our hands could negate all that sing-happy-birthday-twice sink scrubbing. Research from the University of Leeds shows that hand dryers that blow air spread germs all over the bathroom and all over you. And while "fecal transplants" may be making the news for helping to cure digestive problems, the truth is most of us still want to keep poo — especially other people's — as far from our mouths as possible.

So this, my friends, is pretty bad news. Yes, we've been focusing all our germ prevention tactics on the wrong thing.

The researchers put Lactobacillus, a harmless bacteria not normally found in bathrooms, on volunteers' hands and instructed them to wash and dry their hands as they normally would. Airborne germ counts were 27 times higher around hand dryers in comparison with the air around paper towel dispensers. Even worse, the bacteria lingered well past 15 minutes post-dry session.

And it didn't matter what type of hand dryer it was.

All types of hand dryers were germ-sprayers. But you know those high-powered jet engine dryers? They may dry your hands faster but it turns out they also spread your germs faster and farther than older "warm air" methods.

Eek. Take it from Professor Mark Wilcox, lead author on the study:

Next time you dry your hands in a public toilet using an electric hand dryer, you may be spreading bacteria without knowing it. You may also be splattered with bugs from other people's hands.

In other words, use the towels.

Will you do things differently in public restrooms now?

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This cider also has a little kick to it from a spice mixture that's quick and easy to make. I like it because it's not too sweet, and the hint of citrus is a nice complement to the apple and cinnamon. So make yourself some of this cider, put on your fuzzy slippers, and get comfy and cozy. You deserve it.

Spiced citrus apple cider and green tea blend recipe

This hot and spicy apple cider is made with green tea, lemon, orange and a blend of spice and cinnamon. It's the perfect drink for a cold winter day or night.

Serves 3

Prep time: 15 minutes | Cook time: 20 minutes | Total time: 35 minutes

Ingredients:

• 2 cups prepared green tea
• 4 cups apple juice
• 1/2 lemon, juiced
• 1/4 cup orange juice (no pulp)
• 3 slices dried apple rings (for the cider and garnish)
• 2 slices orange
• 1 slice lemon
• 2 cinnamon sticks (for the spice bag)
• Zest from 1/2 a lemon
• Zest from 1/2 an orange
• 1 teaspoon whole allspice
• Small piece of cheesecloth and cooking twine
• 3 cinnamon sticks, for garnish

Directions:

1. Heat a medium-size pan on low heat, and add the green tea, apple juice, lemon juice and orange juice. Stir together.
2. Add the slices of orange and lemon and the dried apple rings to the pan.
3. In the middle of a small piece of cheesecloth, add the cinnamon sticks, lemon zest, orange zest and allspice. Pull up the corners of the cheesecloth, and tie them together to make a small bag.
4. Add the spice bag to the pan.
5. Let cook for about 20 minutes, until the cider is hot.
6. Serve hot, and garnish each cup with a stick of cinnamon and dried apple ring.

More apple cider recipes

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It was my first Christmas with my first son, and he was almost a year old. I was beyond excited. I grew up in a stressful and lonely home. I couldn't wait to make new memories with my son and turn a fresh page on the holiday fights that plagued my family in the past.

Maybe it's because I was pregnant again that first Christmas, but I was surprised at how irritated I felt when other family members crossed my imaginary boundaries.

My ex-pastor, father-in-law wanted to give a long sermon from the Bible, as he had done with his family for the past 35 years. I used to find the tradition heartwarming and the sign of the true loving family I never had. That year, as a new parent, I found it annoying and overbearing. Didn't he understand that we were new parents and wanted to create new traditions? What if we didn't want to teach our kids the same religious beliefs? (We don't.) 

After sitting and stewing and turning it over and over in my head, wondering why I was feeling like such a pregnant asshole on Christmas, I realized: This is my family now. Grandparents are still an important part of our extended family, but what my husband and I decide for our sons matters most of all.

After talking with my husband, he sent an email to his dad to clear the air. My kind father-in-law was ultimately receptive since he couldn't have read my mind in the first place. In our new tradition, we now take turns reading the Bible and Santa stories, with much less emphasis on a 30-minute, Christmas morning sermon.

I assumed I wouldn't care how we celebrated Christmas as new parents, but I did. I assumed other members of my family would read my mind and pick up on my cues, but of course, they didn't.

Family tradition is a beautiful thing, but it's fluid, and it changes with each new generation. Growing up in a dysfunctional family, family tradition means even more to me now. It's for me and my kids, and I don't want to share it. Until they have kids of their own.

More on holidays

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Photo credits: Reddit, Girl Code, 4 GIFS, Oprah, Chevron room, Taylor Swift, The Simpson's, Rachel Bilson 1, Rachel Bilson 2, Kate, Jennifer Lawrence, Tina Fey, Cinderella, Emma Stone, Nicki Minaj, blue, black and white, pink, yellow, neutrals

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Here's what happens when Jurassic World and Hunger Games collide (GIFs)

The Hunger Games: Catching Fire is the latest flick to get a dub-over by the folks at the Bad Lip-Reading YouTube channel, and it's everything.

Just in time to save you from Thanksgiving family awkwardness, you can let your eyes feast on a different sort of (hilarious) awkwardness, like a lot of weird singing, panting, humming, awkward chanting and, of course, Gale trying to get Katniss to make out — all set to your favorite scenes from Catching Fire.

11 Reasons I saw Mockingjay three times this weekend — and will see it again

It's enough to make you want to ditch Thanksgiving altogether and just queue up The Hunger Games on Netflix, but since you should probably spend the day with family, this will have to do. Don't worry — it's short, so if you can only sneak away into the bathroom to give it a watch, just under five minutes won't look too suspicious. Better yet, get the whole family in on it and laugh together.

In case you can't watch this right now, here are the highlights:

Gale telling Katniss she would love to make out:

Both: [Awkward humming/singing/chanting/panting]

Gale: We shouldn't make out at my sick party.

Katniss: …I didn't want to.

Gale: No. You'd love it.

Creepy little girl:

Creepy Little Girl: I'm gonna crush your trachea in your sleep.

Katniss: (Horrified look)

Katniss and Peeta start a band:

Haymitch: Listen, you guys are gonna start a band, and I'm gonna help you. Something like a future sound. Like cool xylophone with drum power.

Peeta: We'll have to think of a name for us.

Haymitch: Yeah, that's right, so let's go with Jimmy Toucan and the Flip Out.

Peeta: But that sucks.

Katniss: It's really bad.

Haymitch: OK, well, let's hear your pick.

Katniss: Obsidiots.

Haymitch: Hmm… OK. It's pretty jammin'. It's got a good vibe.

Katniss: They may as well just give us album of the year right now.

Peeta: Sounds good. Let's do it.

Mockingjay, Part 1: Why you're going to be underwhelmed

Take a break from that turkey, because some things are more important.

12 Celebs who surprisingly believe in aliens

Multiple news outlets are reporting that Fox has officially given the green light to an Independence Day sequel, set to begin production in May and be released sometime in 2016.

That means Independence Day 2 will hit theaters almost 20 years after the original, so we have to wonder how it will stack up to the classic Will Smith film that came first. It was previously announced that Will Smith wouldn't be returning for this movie, which is a pretty huge bummer.

PHOTO: Will Smith posts awesome birthday tribute to his wife

Still, there's nothing like aliens to kick off the summer blockbuster season, which this film will likely do — it's speculated that it will be released around June.

Roland Emmerich, who directed the first film as well as numerous other blockbuster action flicks like Godzilla, The Day After Tomorrow and White House Down, will return to direct as soon as Fox seals that deal. Casting won't start until after Emmerich is officially locked in, ComingSoon.net reports.

The outlet also reports that although there has been speculation of a trilogy or more, Fox has only given the go-ahead to the single film (so far). It was previously reported that two sequels would be filmed back-to-back, but now, it looks like the fate of a third movie depends on the success of the second — though if it can do half as well as the original, which grossed more than $800 million worldwide, it's probably a done deal.

The movie has a few other action movie big names on board, including writer Dean Devlin, who helped pen the original, and Carter Blanchard, best known for his 2009 series, Good vs Evil.

Razzie Awards winners: Kim Kardashian, Will Smith and more

Will you check out Independence Day 2? Tell us in the comments.

INTERVIEW: MasterChef's Graham Elliot on Krissi and Jessie's culinary catfight

Judge Joe Bastianich, who has been with the show since it began, announced he is stepping down after the third season of MasterChef Junior, which premieres Jan. 6.

Bastianich is one of three judges on the show, including superstar chef Gordon Ramsay and restaurateur Graham Elliot. According to Daily Digest News, producers are currently seeking a replacement for Bastianich.

The producers of the show released a statement saying Bastianich played an "integral role in the success of MasterChef and MasterChef Junior," and that even after he's gone, he will "always remain a member of the MasterChef family."

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The show will definitely not be the same without Bastianich, but this opens up a chance for another famous chef to fill his position. Guy Fieri, anyone? Or, my personal favorite, Scott Conant of Chopped fame.

Bastianich is departing the show so he can focus his time on his own pursuits, including the Batali & Bastianich Hospitality Group, which he co-owns, and his own endeavor, Eataly. He said in his announcement about leaving MasterChef that it had "been a pleasure working alongside Gordon and Graham on five seasons of MasterChef and three seasons of MasterChef Junior."

Bastianich isn't leaving television altogether, either. He will remain a judge on the spin-off show MasterChef Italia, is expected to appear on the second season of CNBC's Restaurant Startup and will have a hand in a number of food-related shows on Italian networks.

The best and worst of celebrity chef products

Will you keep watching MasterChef and MasterChef Junior without one of their original judges? Who would you most want to see replace Joe Bastianich on the show? Tell us in the comments below.

To be fair, this is not the first weird beauty thing. There's been urine, bee venom, "vampire" blood, placenta and even a highly toxic bacteria that could kill you (that's Botox, by the way), and those were just in the past couple of years. But beef fat, also known as tallow, is the most recent trend to jump from your plate to your face. And it might just be the grossest yet.

Now before you get all horrified, here are some facts: That stuff has actually been used as a natural emollient for eons. Back in the days when nothing was wasted, our ancient foremothers used tallow to make candles, soap, cleaners and, yes, lotions and even lip balms. All natural, you say? Indeed. There are no harsh chemicals like sulfates and phthalates, and using cow parts does sound a lot more wholesome than oil-based petroleum products (that's what Vaseline is!).

And while you could, I suppose, just buy a nice steak and smoosh it around — dinner and a spa treatment! — most people render the fat first, a process which clarifies it, and then use it as a base for other ingredients, like herbs, scents and other emollients. Proponents say you must use only the fat of grass-fed and pastured cows, as their higher nutrient profile will enhance your skin, and the fat, factory-farmed animal is full of harmful hormones and antibiotics. They say the end result is a smooth, non-beef-scented, light face cream. (And hey, if you start with a milk facial and follow it with a whipped cream body butter, then you'll get the full bovine experience!)

That said, a lot of the claims on breathless blogs and beauty sites may not be true. While beef fat is definitely moisturizing, any other sells — like saying it's anti-inflammatory or antimicrobial or anti-aging — don't have any science and very little experience to back them up, LA-based dermatologist Karen Stolman told Racked.

"Tallow is made up of fatty acids, so it would only fit in the emollient category," Stolman says. Because of its molecular structure, the antioxidants that exist in tallow sit on the surface of the skin and are unable to penetrate to where they can do the most good.

Still, when it comes to smearing something on my face — a necessity for cold winter weather — this sounds intriguing. Black smelly goo, or Sunday dinner? It's a hard choice!

Would you try this?

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Give leftover turkey an ethnic spin:

1. Turkey cranchiladas recipe

Bet you never had turkey and cranberry sauce like this before. Plus, turkey cranchiladas is just an awesome name for a dish.

2. Shredded turkey taquitos recipe

Chicken is so last month. Use turkey to make seasonal taquitos.

3. Turkey and stuffing summer rolls with Thai sweet chili sauce recipe

These turkey and stuffing summer rolls are the ultimate lightened-up Thanksgiving leftovers dish.

4. Turkey and stuffing wontons with cranberry dipping sauce recipe

How to make turkey better: Deep-fry it in crispy wonton skins.

Or add it to a hearty, comforting bowl:

5. Turkey curry recipe

A little Indian flavor gives a whole new life to your turkey.

6. Turkey and cheese chowder recipe

Since you probably didn't consume enough calories on Thanksgiving, the only logical thing to do is to make super-cheesy turkey chowder.

7. One-pot leftover turkey soup recipe

For those of you looking for a slightly less cheesy and caloric option, turkey and wild rice soup is the perfect choice.

Better yet, pile it high on a sandwich:

8. Turkey dip recipe

When you have the opportunity to make a recipe that calls for a bowl of gravy as the dipping sauce, you take it.

9. Turkey Reubens recipe

The classic Reuben, with all its delicious Russian dressing and tangy slaw, gets a delightful Thanksgiving makeover.

10. Turkey-mashed potato breakfast sandwiches recipe

The morning after Thanksgiving never looked so good. #PutAnEggOnIt, and everything is better.

Use up a little bit of everything in these dishes:

11. Leftover turkey shepherd's pie recipe

Because if you want to make comfort food even better, then you put it into individual dishes and top it with mashed potatoes.

12. Thanksgiving leftovers pizza recipe

You can throw pretty much anything onto this Thanksgiving leftovers pizza. I mean, pizza is never bad, amirite?

13. Mini sausage stuffing turkey burgers recipe

Turkey and stuffing turned slider, with cranberry sauce spread, of course.

Don't forget the leftover sides and sauces:

14. Cranberry Dutch baby recipe

This cranberry Dutch baby is the best argument against canned cranberry sauce ever.

15. Brussels sprouts and cranberry grilled cheese recipe

A grilled cheese sandwich just might be the way to get me to eat Brussels sprouts.

16. Leftover sweet potato and bacon frittata recipe

After all that cooking, a breakfast that comes together in minutes is the perfect choice for Friday morning.

17. Savory sweet potato-goat cheese grits recipe

I might make extra sweet potatoes just for these cheesy grits. Mmm.

More on leftovers

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America is not a welfare state, and it's in no danger of becoming one. The vast majority of "welfare spending" is for entitlements for the elderly and disabled, like Medicare and Social Security. Government assistance for families and children is a tiny percent of our nation's GDP, and many of these benefits are in place to provide assistance for a Middle America that tends to shun them.

Unfortunately, most people tend to think of government assistance as welfare checks or food stamps. This is simply not true. Although I could turn this article into a dissertation-length explanation of the thousands of government assistance programs that exist, I want to highlight just four government programs that may benefit your middle-class family. Just remember that most of these programs vary by state, so call 211 for local referrals.

Child Care & Development Fund. Child care eats away at the budgets of many families, but these same families usually can't afford for one parent to stay at home to watch the kids. Single moms, in particular, may benefit from government-subsidized childcare so that they can actually afford to work. If you enroll in your state's child care assistance program, you can expect to pay a weekly co-pay for child care, while your state foots a portion or majority of the bill. Another benefit? The only child care centers that can accept payment are those that are evaluated by the state to provide quality early education.

Women, Infants & Children. The government wants pregnant women and children under the age of 5 to eat healthy foods. Why? It costs the state less in the long run if people choose foods that make them healthy. Sign up for Women, Infants & Children (WIC) to receive free or reduced-cost fruits, veggies, milk and cheese. The agency also helps with hospital-grade breast pump rentals to support breastfeeding moms.

Social Security Disability. Many children are born with disabilities or developmental delays, which can create an enormous cost burden for families (particularly if one parent has to quit work to care for the child). Your child may qualify for a monthly check through Social Security Disability to help support your family, and his or her enrollment will also guarantee that your family can reduce medical costs through a secondary enrollment in Medicaid. In my state of Texas, one of the coolest benefits of Medicaid is a tertiary enrollment in the Medicaid transportation program, which allows parents to reimburse the enormous costs of commuting back and forth to the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit or medical appointments. These benefits aren't based on income.

Early Childhood Intervention. If your child has a disability or developmental delay, you're likely aware that you can spend tens of thousands of dollars on early interventions. Early Childhood Intervention exists to remove this cost burden and to deliver physical, speech and behavior therapy to your doorstep. Sign up for trained therapists and social workers to visit you in your home from your child's birth to third birthday in order to mitigate costs and time burden.

These programs are just a sampling of the many interventions that are available to the average American family. Reach out to 211 or a community social worker to find out more.

More about programs for kids

Secrets to parenting a child with developmental delays
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1. It's all made with the same stuff (kind of)

Just as you would do when purchasing your own food, you need to know about your dog's chow before tossing it into the cart. Regardless of price or brand, there are a few key things that you should be analyzing and looking for prior to feeding it to your four-legged best friend. You don't want to feed your dog with unnecessary additives or by-products.

A few potentially harmful ingredients include:

• Propylene glycol: This ingredient is also found in antifreeze and can prove toxic if ingested in large amounts over time.
• Ethoxyquin: Veterinarians have found that dogs that consume this chemical preservative over time are more at risk for various cancers.
• Corn and soy: These ingredients don't have any real nutritional value for your dog and can prove harmful over time.
• Most grains: These products are used primarily as fillers, and while some are OK, your dog is a carnivore and should have a diet consisting primarily of protein.

Speaking of protein, your dog needs real meat, not meat by-products. Look for foods that include chicken, beef, lamb — not poultry or chicken parts. A one-word ingredient typically means that's what is really in it. If you see a filler word, then it's likely your pet food has fillers in it. A "meat meal" is relatively OK as it is still something that your dog needs nutritionally. The meat should also come first in the ingredients list. Just like human food contents, the ingredients listed are weighted from greatest amount (listed first) to the least. Veggies and fruits are the next most important nutritional sources to look for.

2. Bargain brands don't sell to your vet

Picture this: You get a new puppy and take him for his first vet visit. You're a loving pet parent, so you ask your vet what food is best for him. You leave the office with three to five sample packs of dog food. Do you know what your dog needs? Nope, but you do have a brand! Don't use it. Instead, when you take your dog to his next check-up, ask for ingredients rather than brands. That way you know what to look for when walking down the pet food aisle.

3. It's inexpensive

Let's be honest, the best thing about bargain dog food is that it's a bargain! Not only are you saving money, you're also saving time. It's located where you regularly shop, and it allows you to spend more time and funds on your furry friend instead of his ridiculously expensive chow.

Great bargain brands to consider:

• Earth's Pride
• Kirkland Signature
• Trader Joe's
• Taste of the Wild

These brands use protein as their primary ingredient and use minimal fillers, such as by-products and grains.

Brands to watch out for:

• Old Yeller
• Ol' Roy
• Alpo
• Gravy Train

Unfortunately, these brands list corn and fillers as their primary ingredients and, in many cases, include meat by-products rather than real meat.

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The best thing about this video is how pleased all of its participants are with themselves when they realize they're... we don't want to say "nailing" foreign English accents because that would be misleading, so we'll say they're sounding more than vaguely how they would if they were British or Australian (except for "mobile phone" — that one seemed a little less convincing than the others). They're laughing up a storm, and it's pretty cute.

If these guys ever need some razor blades Down Under (yes, we know that doesn't sound good) or they're desperate to blame any car crash they're involved in on Michael Caine, they're set!

But, guys, the big question is this: Did this group of jolly accent samplers look sexier with an Australian accent?

More accent attempts

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Emma Watson's American accent was a challenge
Watch Anna Faris fake a bad British accent in What's Your Number?

So many moms today love home births, but man, for me, I loved my hospital births. I don't mean I love medical interventions and sure, the idea of staying home in comfortable surroundings is definitely appealing, but I chose the hospital route four times and I honestly don't regret it.

I will admit that I've never been married to the idea of having a "perfect" birth. I always wanted to have a safe delivery for both myself and my child, and how I got there was less important to me than it is for others. I did choose a VBAC for my three births after my initial C-section (both because I wanted to experience vaginal birth and I also didn't want another major surgery), but that was the extent of my birth plan.

In fact, after I had my babies, I loved the rest of the stay. Being able to hunker down in a quiet, homey room, with my family and my new baby, was vacation-like, and dare I say it? Resort-like. My meals were brought to me (and forget the old adage that hospital food is nasty — I happen to like it), I had a sweet TV that played movies and people brought me presents and treats.

In the hospital, I had help just a beep away, and a baby nurse would change my infant's diaper while I tried to poop. Nobody would care if I dropped clots in the shower, and I could kick all of my sheets onto the floor because of night sweats and they would be picked up by someone else. I could snuggle with my newborn and leak colostrum all over my nightgown, and I could get a new one with no fuss or fanfare.

Also, when you already have a child, you can spend your time in the hospital focusing completely on your newborn baby. You can sleep when she sleeps, and you don't have to wrangle your toddler off the changing table or try to keep him entertained when you're nursing your newest babe. You will likely miss your older kids, but those precious few days are all about you and your new baby.

I'm not disparaging home birth at all, and I know that many moms have all these luxuries and more when they stay home for labor and delivery. And I also am aware that not every hospital provides a comfortable experience. Liking a hospital birth is definitely not a popular confession, but there you have it — I liked birthing in a hospital and if I were going to go down the whole pregnancy-and-baby road again, I'd happily have another hospital birth. Am I alone here?

More on having babies

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1. Kiehl's moisture kit

I'm currently obsessed with the Kiehl's Creamy Avocado Eye Treatment, and love everything I've ever tried from them. On Black Friday you can order this kit of moisture-rescue products for $33 (normally $70). It includes their Ultra Face Cleanser and face cream, Powerful Strength Line-Reducing Concentrate, Midnight Recovery Concentrate, Creme de Corps and their Ultimate Strength Hand Salve.

2. Foreo's face-cleansing tools

These magic face cleaning machines are like a hip new spin on the classic Clarisonic (and yes, they kinda look like sex toys). As of Nov. 24, visit mineallmine.foreo.com to get the promo codes. On Black Friday they will offer a different deal every two hours.

3. Benefit's One Hot Mamba! set

The two-piece set will include the Bella Mamba Box O' Powder and lip gloss for $18. You shop the deal online at Ulta. Can I take a moment to be cheesy and encourage you to reap this benefit?

4. L'Occitane's free gift

Make any purchase on usa.loccitane.com and no matter the dollar amount you spend, you'll receive three free hand creams including their bestseller Arlésienne shea butter hand cream and the floral Roses et Reines Hand Cream.

5. Tarte Lip & Lash goodies

Yet another powerhouse brand that, if you've never it tried before, Black Friday presents the perfect time to jump on their bandwagon. Ulta is offering a package deal: $19 for a full-size mascara, faux lash fibers (got New Year's Eve plans?) and a full-size lip gloss.

6. Weleda skin & body products

Get 30 percent off anything at usa.weleda.com through Dec. 1. A personal favorite of SK? The Weleda Skin Food.

7. Vichy foaming sunscreen

Vichy's foaming sunscreen kinda blew my mind but they make several products to choose from. On Black Friday you can get 15 percent off $35, 25 percent off $75 or 35 percent off $125 (Code NOIR14).

Hint: On Cyber Monday spend at least $50 and get $10 off (code: CYBER14). Shop here.

8. Zoya nail polish

Get three nail polishes for $20 starting Black Friday through Cyber Monday. Choose from their dream boxes here.

9. La Roche-Posay special skin care

They offer an array of amazing skin care products that focus on dermatological disorders such as eczema, psoriasis and severe skin burns.

20% off $75
25% off $100
30% off $125 

10. LAQA & Co

I fell in love with lip crayons thanks to them, but they also sell adorable nail polish shades and their whole site will be 25 percent off for Black Friday.

11. Too Faced makeup

If you buy Too Faced's Better than Sex Mascara, you earn 50 percent off any second item. If it's better than sex, why not?

More Black Friday shopping

54 Black Friday deals you won't want to miss
How sales associates will try to bully you on Black Friday
Where you can and can't shop on Thanksgiving