With increasing numbers of children being diagnosed with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, parents have questions about why this is happening, whether their child's diagnosis is accurate and whether or not they need to be medicated. Now, a new study may have some answers, including why children who are the youngest in their class tend to be diagnosed more frequently than their older classmates.

The authors of the study, published in the Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry, reviewed data from multiple studies involving a total of more than 14 million children in 12 countries and found it was more common for the youngest children in a classroom to be diagnosed with ADHD and put on medication to treat it.

But why is this the case? According to the study's lead author, Dr. Martin Whitely, a research fellow at the John Curtin Institute of Public Policy based at Curtin University in Australia, there are no biological markers or physical tests for ADHD, so in most cases, the diagnosis is based primarily on teacher reports of a child’s behavior in the classroom.

More: ADHD Is So Much More Than Bad Behavior

“It appears that across the globe some teachers are mistaking the immaturity of the youngest children in their class for ADHD. Although teachers don’t diagnose it, they are often the first to suggest a child may have ADHD,” Whitely said in a statement. “Our research shows that the ADHD late-birthday effect occurs in both high prescribing countries, like the USA, Canada and Iceland, and in countries where ADHD is far less common, like Finland, Sweden and Taiwan. Our findings challenge the notion that misdiagnosis only happens in countries where there is a high rate of prescriptions for ADHD.”

Of the 17 studies that were reviewed as part of this research, only two — both conducted in Denmark — didn't show this correlation. However, a majority of Danish boys who would be the younger students in class are held back a year, so the authors of this study note that it's unclear whether this this prevents or just disguises the effect.

“Further research could help us determine whether allowing parents to decide if their child is ready to begin school helps reduce this and other late birthday effects. It could be that it helps the delayed-entry child but other children suffer,” Whitely said in the statement.

More: Here's What It's Really Like to Be a Mom With ADHD

But there may be a way to more accurately diagnose children with ADHD. According to the study's coauthor, professor Jon Jureidini, a child and adolescent psychiatrist from the University of Adelaide, the findings of this research emphasized the need for parents, teachers and physicians to be aware of the potential impact of relative age in a classroom on diagnoses.

“Mistaking perfectly normal age-related immaturity for ADHD is just one of many problems with the label. Children who are sleep deprived, bullied, have suffered abuse or have a host of other problems, often get labelled ADHD,” Jureidini said in the statement. “Not only does this result in them getting potentially harmful drugs they don’t need, but their real problems don’t get identified and addressed.”

L.L.Bean knows the only way to promote the launch of its Small Batch Bean Boots is with craft beer. Yes, you read that right: craft beer. According to Food & Wine, the iconic outerwear and sporting goods company is teaming up with Fogtown Brewing Company, Mast Landing Brewing Company, Orono Brewing Company, Rising Tide Brewing Company and Threshers Brewing Co. — all of which are from L.L.Bean's home state, Maine.

More: Chili's Is Serving a Pumpkin Spice Margarita — Just in Time for Halloween

“Introducing #BeanBootsandBrews, a collaboration between L.L.Bean and Maine craft breweries!” L.L.Bean wrote in an Instagram caption, which served as the official announcement for the venture, on Friday.

“Five amazing brewers [...] will be unveiling outdoor-inspired small batch beers, to complement our new fall collection of Small Batch Bean Boots,” L.L.Bean continued in their caption.

While we don’t know specifically what kinds of craft beers will be released, it appears in the promo video posted on Instagram that two of the brews are pale, two are amber and one looks to be a dark stout.

Starting on Friday, the beers will be available at the breweries for a limited time. While this may seem like a surprising collab, it’s not really, if only because craft beer is all the rage in Maine. So much so, in fact, there are now more than four-dozen craft breweries in the state. Plus, the press release states that Maine is home to more breweries per capita than any other state.

According to the release, “[T]he collaboration is a celebration of Maine craftsmanship and the unique quality of small batches.”

“L.L.Bean and Maine brewers are known around the world for their focus on quality and innovation,” said Sean Sullivan, executive director of the Maine Brewers’ Guild, in the release. “It’s been a pleasure to see what can happen when seemingly disparate industries collaborate, exchange ideas, and create new products to share.”

More: All the Delicious Scotch Cocktails You Need to Warm Up This Fall

For those who aren’t avid L.L.Bean followers, each season, the brand launches a limited number of Small Batch Boots that combine their signature style with a fresh design; this new collaboration with a select group of Maine breweries is nothing short of inspired.

The Small Batch Bean Boots will be available at L.L.Bean retail stores and at llbean.com.

Kate Hudson and Danny Fujikawa are taking some time after the birth of their daughter, Rani Rose, to cement their family bond. On Oct. 13, just a little over a week after Rani's birth, Hudson shared a super-sweet video of Fukijawa seemingly entranced by his daughter, which is a feeling that most new parents can probably understand.

More: Kate Hudson Just Gave Birth — Here's What She Named Her Daughter

As reported by People, Hudson set the short video to the song "Not Alone" by Patty Griffin. She filtered the video in soft, warm colors, which adds to the tender moment of Fukijawa touching Rani's hair and hands and kissing her on the forehead.

"Kind beautiful man, your pure love is such a gift," Hudson wrote in the caption, followed by the hashtag #daddysgirl and a two-heart emoji.

The video is the first time we've seen Fukijawa with Rani Rose, though Hudson shared a newborn picture of her in the hospital, captioned "our little rosebud," as well as a photo of Rani on her shoulder a few days later, captioned, "The early morning calm" with the hashtag #babybubble.

On Oct. 3, Hudson announced Rani Rose's birth in an Instagram slideshow made up of text images showing her full name and the reason behind it. “We have decided to name our daughter Rani (pronounced Ronnie) after her grandfather, Ron Fujikawa," Hudson wrote. "Ron was the most special man who we all miss dearly. To name her after him is an honor.” Per People, Fujikawa's father Ron passed away in 2012. 

People also notes that Hudson's two sons are "so excited" to have a little sister, per a source close to the family. “They’ll be protective and sweet to her always," the source said. They added that Hudson has "always wanted a daughter so this is really a dream come true.”

More: Celebrity Moms Weigh In on Overcoming Mom Guilt

We're sure Hudson and Fujikawa have taken dozens of photos and videos of their daughter and we appreciate that they've chosen to share these particularly sweet moments with the world. It's clear that they are enjoying the "baby bubble" and we hope they're having fun while they're in it.

With awards season right around the corner, it can be tough for moviegoers to decide what they want to see on the big screen when there are so many excellent choices available. Some, of course, stand out as must-sees — and according to Anne Hathaway, if you're on the fence about whether or not to see Bradley Cooper and Lady Gaga in A Star Is Born, it's time to take the plunge. 

More: Why Some Think Lady Gaga's New Film, A Star Is Born, Should Have a Trigger Warning

Currently considered 90 percent "fresh" on the film review site Rotten Tomatoes, the 2018 remake of the 1937 film (which has been remade two times previously between then and now too) has struck a chord with viewers, including Hathaway. In an Instagram post featuring the movie poster, she left a glowing review encouraging people not to just see this film, but bask, no, "luxuriate in appreciation" for its beauty. 

After remarking on how fast the entertainment industry moves and how easy it is to get obsessed with a movie during opening weekend before rapidly moving onto the next, Hathaway wrote, "We are so fortunate- a ton of worthy, excellent movies are going to come out between now and the end of the year, and our plates are going to become increasingly full. That said, I think A Star is Born is so special, so ambitious, so audacious and so brilliantly human that it shouldn’t just be a news story for one weekend."

She added, "I saw this film back in August at the Venice Film Festival and I still walk around feeling lucky I was in that audience. This film surprised me in the best possible way; it even killed some cynicism that I didn’t know had snuck into my heart. I loved it. I hope you see it. Bravo @ladygaga. Bravo #bradleycooper. Thank you. Encore." 

More: Lady Gaga Speaks Out About the International Mental Health Crisis

With praise for the film at such a high, from Hathaway as well as others, it seems like A Star Is Born is definitely in the running for nominations come awards season in 2019. We'll have to wait and see how it shakes out against other new and upcoming releases, but we have a good feeling.

Nicole Kidman is one of the most powerful women in Hollywood today, but had her earlier years in entertainment been different, that might not be the case. In a new essay for the Women and Power issue of New York magazine, Kidman opens up about her marriage to Tom Cruise — something she rarely talks about — and admits that being with him for more than a decade kept her safe from the kinds of sexual harassment that blacklisted many of her less-protected peers.

More: Nicole Kidman Will Be Honored at the Hollywood Film Awards for a Good Reason

Kidman doesn't shy away from this fact in her essay. "Being married to Tom Cruise at 22 is something I'm always reluctant to talk about, because I'm married now to the man who is my great love [Keith Urban], and it almost feels disrespectful," Kidman writes for New York magazine. "That said, I got married very young, but it definitely wasn't power for me — it was protection."

"I married for love," she continued, "but being married to an extremely powerful man kept me from being sexually harassed. I would work, but I was still very much cocooned. So when I came out of it at 32, 33, it's almost like I had to grow up." 

Kidman and Cruise divorced in 2011, 11 years after they tied the knot. Kidman doesn't go into detail about specific instances when being married to Cruise provided the protection she alludes to, but this is fairly in line with Kidman's behavior overall about this topic. As Entertainment Tonight notes, Kidman comments in her essay that she has definitely experienced her own #MeToo moments since, though she would rather cope by channeling those experiences into her work than exposing them in detail for the public.

"I'm open and raw. I want to have my well of experience and emotion tapped into — used, and I'm not just talking about sexual harassment," she wrote. "I'm talking about loss, death, the full array of life. But it has to be by the right people so it's not abused again."

As a vocal member of Time's Up, Kidman has been outspoken about how important it is for women to tell their own stories — and for the conversation around domestic violence and sexual assault to change. As a coproducer and star on the HBO series Big Little Lies, she tackles these topics directly in her work; she also tackles them as a goodwill ambassador for U.N. Women and a staunch feminist who works for women's rights behind the scenes.

More: How Nicole Kidman's Role in Destroyer Affected Her Relationship With Keith Urban

Kidman choosing to make these comments at this particular moment in time, when sexual assault is a hot topic not just in Hollywood, but also in politics, education and more, is huge. Kidman has such a large platform on which to speak and the fact that she is choosing to use that platform in order to be candid about her own experiences in Hollywood as well as how those experiences were colored by her relationship to a powerful man just might push the conversation another step forward. In this fight for safety and equality, every step counts.

Kim Kardashian West is so over the critics who flip out when she lets daughter North, 5, wear makeup. Last month, Kardashian West posted a video of North on Instagram wearing a new lipstick shade from her mom's KKW Beauty collection — and Kardashian West called out the haters before they could hate on her.

“Relax Mom Shamers it’s coming off in a few mins,” Kardashian West captioned the clip. “I needed a bribe to get [her] out of the door... you feel me?!?!?!”

More: Chrissy Teigen Laughs Off Playground-Phobic Mom Shamers

Kardashian West was also derided by online commenters for permitting North to strut her tiny stuff in a Los Angeles fashion show sporting a crop top, sunglasses and bold lipstick. 

Now, it's one thing to be the famous offspring of selfie-obsessed Kim Kardashian West and controversial sourpuss, rapper and designer Kanye West, but it's quite another to be a cosmetics-obsessed 6-year-old kid growing up in a normal-ish anonymous family. These days, more and more little girls (think 5 to 12) are grooving on hardcore cosmetics and very high-end makeup looks — including heavy contouring.

The New York Post reports, "[T]hese mini divas are social-media savvy, hip to the latest techniques, obsessed with the coolest cosmetic brands and fans of beauty influencers. With professional makeup brushes clutched in their tiny hands, these darlings are copying sophisticated online makeup looks with grown-up powders and potions at home. And they’re even making money doing it."

More: Busy Philipps Shuts Down a Mom-Shamer Brilliantly

Say what? Long gone are the days of lemonade stands and bake sales, mama friends. Check out Molly, 7, who is racking up the big bucks (a cool $12,000 is likely her take for this year) making cosmetics tutorials on YouTube (under her mom's username, Courtney McCutcheon) and on the Instagram account @lipgloss_and_crayons.

Molly spoke with The Post herself about her love of makeup. “My favorite products are lipstick and glittery eye shadow. And I really like blush because it makes my cheeks stand out.”

McCutcheon sees nothing wrong with her daughter's diva-esque lifestyle. “It was awful, people were calling me a child abuser,” she said according to the same Post article. “They were saying it’s going to ruin her skin and she’s going to have acne. People were telling me I should be arrested or I’m going to go to hell, or that she should play with Barbie dolls or she should be outside.”

But McCutcheon thinks this is totally age-appropriate for 2018. She also says she only lets her daughters wear a teensy bit of glitter and glitz and gloss outside the home. This is purely inside play: “Molly begs me to do videos and likes creating content. It’s innocent and she’s having fun," McCutcheon stated.

Zara would agree. She is a second-grader in Atlanta with the online handle Yoshidoll. Want to guess how many Instagram followers this girl has? More than you ever will: 208,000 as of this post. She, like Molly, also has a popular YouTube channel. *Gulp*

Zara's mom, Ellarie Noel, is a beauty influencer. She says, “My daughter has her own Caboodle full of stuff she gets to wear at the house." But Ellarie Noel also says she only lets her daughter wear makeup at home (and for eye safety doesn't let Zara do her own mascara). Also like Molly, Zara's making some serious change. Sponsored videos featuring hair products garner the kid $20,000 annually. Um. Wow.

Zara's most popular YouTube video is “Transforming Into My Mom!” which has received more than 3.4 million views. “I look like Beyoncé!” crows Zara in it. “Girl, don’t push it,” her mom responds.

But is there a dark side to all this colorful modeling and adultification (and, arguably, sexualization)? In the same article, the Post quotes Diane E. Levin, professor of applied human development at Boston University and author of So Sexy So Soon. 

“The risk is that little girls focus on appearance, buying the right things and looking the right way, instead of developing a broader range of interests and skills,” Levin told the Post. “Developmentally, they’re objectifying themselves.”

And there are other concerns as well. “One of the dangers is interacting on the internet with trolls and escalating problematic sexualized behaviors,” Levin states. Urgh.

By the way, we're aware there are plenty of little boys who also love makeup — it's just easier to find the girls on social media. And we're not sure what to make of any of it. Harmless and possibly lucrative fun? Scary premature dive into adulthood? There's something just... alarming about a second-grader with a full face of perfect makeup. Or is that just us?

Mira Sorvino frequently lends her voice to causes that help other people, whether it's serving as an U.N. goodwill ambassador to combat human trafficking or speaking out on behalf of people who have experienced sexual violence via the #MeToo movement. In addition, the Academy Award-winning actor has also teamed up with #MoreForMBC: A campaign to raise awareness and funding for metastatic breast cancer research.

Sorvino has lost two of her best friends to the disease, including Champagne Joy — a well-known MBC activist and creator of #Cancerland, a peer-to-peer support group for people with the terminal condition. 

"She introduced me to all the issues and the fight that had been taken up by this community to try and bring more attention and more funding to research to find a cure to metastatic breast cancer, because it is the only kind of breast cancer that kills you," Sorvino tells SheKnows.

In short, metastatic breast cancer (also referred to as stage 4) is breast cancer that has spread to another part of the body — including the liver, brain, bones or lungs — according to the National Breast Cancer Foundation. The NBCF also notes that nearly 30 percent of women diagnosed with early stage breast cancer will develop metastatic disease.

And despite general decreases in cancer mortality rates in the U.S., the Metastatic Breast Cancer Network reports that the number of MBC deaths in America has hovered around 40,000 per year since 2000. 

More: After Infertility, I Was Scared of a Breast Cancer Diagnosis — Here's Why

“All the focus on [breast cancer] early detection and prevention, it’s good, but it hasn’t actually addressed the death caused by this terrible, terrible disease," Sorvino says. "Only 7 percent of research dollars go towards research to find a cure for metastatic breast cancer, which is crazy. I mean, that’s just nuts." 

This is why Sorvino decided to partner with Lily's Thriver Movement and #MoreForMBC campaign: to help close the gap in awareness and funding for research for this type of breast cancer. 

"We want more awareness. We want more action. We want more national focus on finding a cure for this horrendously ugly disease," she explains. "Breast cancer is almost marketed as a pretty disease — like there’s something kind of cute about some of the advertisements this month, something light, something almost frivolous, and we’re saying it’s something ugly. It’s a horrible killer of women and 113 people die every day due to this disease, and two of them are some of my best friends in the entire world."

Sorvino says that her work spreading awareness of MBC does have ties to the current #MeToo and #TimesUp movements.

"I do see everything as sort of interconnected," she explains. "I feel like this is the year of the awakening of women’s consciousness and awareness and society realizing that we as a gender have been underserved by our society [and] by our country. And I think that this extends into the health care sphere, that this horrendous disease that is so deadly and so prevalent and so ongoing has really not gotten the attention it needs, and we’re not going to take it quietly anymore. We’re going to really ramp up our response to it until we find a cure for this killer of women."

More: Eva Longoria Opens Up About Motherhood & Breast Cancer Awareness

As another part of the #MoreForMBC campaign, fitness expert and yoga instructor Anna Kaiser developed the "Thriver" yoga pose and flow specifically for the MBC community to meet patients’ unique health challenges. Since MBC is incurable, people living with the condition can feel left out of breast cancer conversations centering on survivors because they know they will eventually die of the disease. Instead, the word "thriver" is used for both the MBC community, as well as Kaiser's new yoga pose.

"We want to help make their life more comfortable and as fulfilling as possible for the time that they're here," Kaiser tells SheKnows. 

If you'd like to help, Lilly will donate $100 (up to $225,000) for every social media post a person shares of themselves or someone else doing the Thriver yoga pose using the hashtag #MoreForMBC. 

On Monday, Kensington Palace confirmed the Duke and Duchess of Sussex, Prince Harry and Meghan (née Markle) are expecting their first child together. Now that the world knows another royal baby is on the way, Prince Harry is openly talking about Meghan's pregnancy.

More: Meghan Markle Hints at Another Royal Baby Soon

The couple is currently on their two-week royal foreign tour, during which they first visited Sydney, Australia. During their trip Down Under, which is timed around their attendance at the 2018 Invictus Games, which begin on Oct. 20, Harry made a speech and sweetly included his future child.

In a video tweeted by Omid Scobie, a royal commentator and contributor, on Tuesday, Harry is heard saying, "It’s great to be back in Australia, and especially even more so, this is my wife’s first trip here, so I’m very excited to show her this incredible country of yours."

Then, he added, "We also, genuinely, couldn’t think of a better place to announce, uh, the upcoming baby, be it a boy or girl, so thank you very much," becoming somewhat shy when talking about Meghan's pregnancy. This is the first time he's opened up publicly about becoming a father.

More: All the Celebs Who Are Pregnant Right Now

Adding dad to his résumé is something Harry's thought about for a long time. He told ABC News in 2012, "I've longed for kids since I was very, very young. I’m waiting to find the right person. Someone who is willing to take on the job."

And that person is obviously Meghan. As you can see in the photo below, they are going to make the best parents ever.

On Twitter, the palace announced the pregnancy officially on Monday, saying, "Their Royal Highnesses The Duke and Duchess of Sussex are very pleased to announce that The Duchess of Sussex is expecting a baby in the Spring of 2019.... Their Royal Highnesses have appreciated all of the support they have received from people around the world since their wedding in May and are delighted to be able to share this happy news with the public."

Here's hoping Harry and Meghan make more speeches and talk about their baby because it just makes this even more exciting.

Witch movies of the '90s will always hold a special place in my heart. In particular, Practical Magic — which came out a full 20 years ago, in 1998 — remains one of my all-time favorite movies to this day. 

More: Nicole Kidman Will Be Honored at the Hollywood Film Awards for a Good Reason

The cast is impeccable. Although the film is from early in both Sandra Bullock's and Nicole Kidman's careers, they are both effervescent as Sally and Gillian Owens, respectively, opposite Stockard Channing and Dianne West as Aunt Fran and Aunt Jet, who are at turns frightening in their power and doting in their care. This cast of women embodies the importance of women-only safe spaces and provides a dynamic, compelling narrative about the danger of abusive men and the power of women banding together to cast them out.

Practical Magic is billed as a romantic comedy, but it spends the majority of its 1 hour, 44 minute runtime exploring a far more compelling relationship: Sally and Gillian's sisterhood. It's a movie about witches with a rare happy ending that props itself up on horror to make its emotional beats land. In 20 years, it's taught me some incredibly important life lessons. Below are just a few of the most resonant.

1. Love comes in many forms

It can seem like finding a romantic soulmate is our One True Purpose in life, but truthfully, it's not. Although the Owens sisters seem deeply preoccupied with finding romance in Practical Magic, the emotional core of the film is their strong familial relationships.

Practical Magic provides romance in spades, but it also tackles abuse, grief and the importance of finding people who will support you and love you no matter what, even when life is as bad as it can possibly be. Although this film shows blood family with strong ties, creating those ties with others is completely possible, too. Genuine connections that exist outside of romantic love are integral to our growth and stability as people, which this film demonstrates beautifully through its core cast of characters. In particular, the moment when Sally lies with Gillian as she struggles to fight off possession by her abusive ex-boyfriend shines a light on just how powerful sisterhood can be.

2. Everyone has a little bit of magic in them (no, really)

One of the best moments in Practical Magic is when Sally activates the PTA phone tree to ask for help in casting out Gillian's possessor. When the women of the town arrive bearing brooms (and, in one case, a vacuum) to help cast the spell and create a circle of protection, not knowing anything about the practicalities of witchcraft, it's a powerful demonstration. In this moment, these women are setting aside all of their differences to support one of their own in her time of need. In the process, they realize that for all their quaking about magic being unnatural, they all have a little bit of magic in them. 

More: Jenna Dewan Is Ready to Star In a Practical Magic Sequel

3. You can't avoid tragedy

Life is unpredictable, which means that bad things can happen as easily as good or neutral things. Trying to avoid tragedy — like young Sally does when she dreams up an "impossible" man so that she'll never fall in love and will never deal with heartbreak — only ends up hurting us more. Fearing death and attempting to avoid loss won't make the likelihood of those events any lesser. It will just make us feel worse when they inevitably happen and we blame ourselves for not doing more to keep them at bay.

4. Abusive relationships can do irreparable damage

Kidman's character actually breaks my heart in this movie. Leaving an abusive relationship is hard — so hard, in fact, that according to the National Domestic Violence Hotline, most survivors leave their abusers seven times before staying away for good. In 2017, HuffPost reported that 55 percent of women murdered between 2003 and 2014 in at least 18 states were victims of domestic violence. In Practical Magic, Gillian's abuser, Jimmy (played by Goran Visnjic), is murdered, but he doesn't even leave her alone once he's dead — thus cementing the fact that abuse is real, persistent and terrifying. Gillian is lucky to have such a solid and powerful support system in this movie; not all survivors are so lucky.

5. Adulthood changes the way you see the world

Would that we could all stay kids forever, but growing up definitely gives us new perspectives on childhood fears and experiences. Since Practical Magic follows the Owens girls from childhood to adulthood, we get to see them grow up, grow apart and reunite. Who they are and who they thought they would be are very different women, which is honestly a good thing — the ability to look back on our experiences and learn from them is huge. Having people to remind us of who we were is great, but it's not always possible. In any case, being an adult is usually different from how we thought it would be as kids, which Sally and Gillian have to grapple with throughout the film.

6. Sometimes we have to make mistakes in order to learn

As tough as it is to accept, making mistakes is how we learn to do better. Hopefully, our mistakes aren't so big that we can't fix them or come back from them, but life is unpredictable. When things don't work out — whether it's relationships, spellwork or moving to a new town — we have to pick up the pieces and keep going. 

More: 9 Awesome, Random Facts About Sandra Bullock You Never Knew

7. Other times, we have to know when to let go

Raise your hand if your aunts are cool enough to drink margaritas and dance around your childhood home with you. One of the most iconic scenes in Practical Magic is the tequila scene, which admittedly ends on a dark note — but out of context, it illustrates something really important: Sometimes, you just have to let loose and ignore the bad stuff for a little while.

8. Being "normal" is way overrated

"Being normal is not necessarily a virtue; it rather denotes a lack of courage." Practical Magic certainly isn't the only film to touch on this, especially where witches are concerned, but it's one that really embraces the fact that normalcy is relative. By the end of the movie, the Owenses are no longer feared by the townspeople (at least, not as much as they were), and happily ever after includes having some semblance of belonging among people who don't practice magic every day. This movie encourages everyone to embrace their oddities and wear them proudly.

The pain and fatigue symptoms associated with endometriosis can be devastating. They might not be life-threatening, but for many patients, they certainly affect your ability to live a normal life, let alone thrive. Plenty of surgical and medical treatments are available, but for many, relying long-term on NSAIDs and opioid drugs while awaiting a long-term solution is not ideal. 

Many of the women with whom we spoke found relief in natural, complementary treatments. When used in conjunction with traditional medicine, the following natural methods can help reduce symptoms — and in some cases, reduce the inflammation that contributes to the pain associated with endometriosis. 

Acupuncture

Acupuncture is a treatment derived from ancient China, where it was used to treat a number of ailments, including endometriosis. When you're in pain, sticking needles in your skin might sound unnecessary, but studies have shown that acupuncture can ease chronic pain. Plus, it comes with relatively few complications. 

“Acupuncture has been an effective treatment for pain relief and release of scar tissue,” says endometriosis sufferer Sasha, 39. “I see my practitioner while I have my period and the session lasts around an hour. I have the traditional acupuncture treatment under a heat lamp followed by a massage of the abdomen. After the second month, there was a noticeable difference, and by the third month, I had the least amount of pain I’ve had in a long time. This was combined with some dietary changes.”

Dietary changes

As endometriosis progresses, sufferers often become aware of their personal dietary triggers, which often include dairy, gluten and caffeine. These ingredients don’t cause endometriosis, but they can worsen a flare-up by encouraging inflammation. “Years before getting my diagnosis I realized wheat was something that did not agree with me,” says Kirstie, 25. “By cutting wheat out of my diet, I had better digestive health and was able to manage the constant nausea, constipation and vomiting I struggled with. 

“My GP at the time was skeptical, and I've been subjected to a lot of eye rolling from people, assuming I am jumping on the trendy ‘clean eating’ bandwagon. But a wonderful endometriosis nurse I spoke to assured me that dietary changes do help women with endometriosis, and after speaking with lots of other sufferers and reading work by established and well-regarded endometriosis surgeons, I know that diet does have a huge effect on my health and can be my best tool when it comes to managing this disease.”

Physiotherapy

When Ellie, 26, had endometriosis excised from her ovaries and peritoneum, she was surprised to find she was still in pain. “I thought I was going to be in pain forever,” she says, “but then I met my physiotherapist. She examined me and noticed I had a hypertonic pelvic floor. She could actually feel a knot in the area where I had the most pain. She explained that pain from endometriosis causes us to inadvertently tighten up our muscles, which can worsen pelvic floor conditions and mimic the pain caused by endometriosis.”

Chiropractic

Chiropractic adjustments manipulate misalignments of joints, which are believed to cause disorders with organs, nerves and muscles. It may not be the first thing you think of when you have widespread pelvic pain, but for Laura, 28, it works. “For me, the quickest and most effective form of treatment for an endo flare is chiropractic adjustments," Laura says. “During my flares, the majority of my pain is in my lower back, pelvic area and hips. Anytime I would have a bad endo flare, I would make a point to get into my chiropractor as soon as possible. I always felt instant relief after being adjusted. Although some pain was still there, it was much more tolerable. I am unable to handle the horrible side effects of pain medication.”

Reflexology

Reflexology may sound like a glorified foot massage, but many of its proponents swear it’s much more than that. Purportedly, the practitioner targets specific reflex points that correspond to specific organs, and this provides the patient some pain relief. It’s also really relaxing, and we know that reducing stress can reduce pain. 

“I found reflexology a massive help since getting diagnosed with endometriosis,” says Elysha, 34. “I have been having it for over two years and it helps with my aches and pains. I get it done once a month, and the practitioner works on my ovaries, bowels and other areas. It has worked for me long-term.”

CBD oil

In a survey conducted for SheKnows, 11 out of 100 endometriosis sufferers said they found symptom relief from cannabis, including medical marijuana and CBD oil. This is a surprising statistic, given that cannabis is not legal in every state or country. Cannabinoids are also anti-inflammatory, which means you’re not just masking symptoms but treating them. 

“CBD oil was a game changer for me when it came to relief of my endo symptoms,” says Laura. “Not only did it provide pain relief, but it also helped calm me down during a flare — anyone with chronic pain knows, when you're having a bad flare, it gets to you mentally and brings a lot of anxiety and mental turmoil with it. The CBD has a great calming/relaxing effect (not like getting high).  

“If you are familiar with CBD oil but haven't tried CBD suppositories, I highly recommend it. It quickly relieves severe pelvic pain — sends it straight to the source! I took CBD oil faithfully twice a day to combat the endo symptoms, and during a flare day, I would up my dosage and use the suppositories. I use past tense because thankfully, since my excision surgery three months ago, I no longer suffer from regular endo flares!”

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If Chrissy Metz has it her way, This Is Us will be getting a very special guest star very soon: Olivia Munn. But could Munn make an appearance on the NBC drama anytime soon? Let’s examine the evidence.  

On Sunday, both Metz and Munn were honored at the first annual #GirlHero Award Luncheon at Beverly Hills’ SLS Hotel — Metz for being an outspoken advocate for body positivity and Munn for speaking out against a sex offender being cast in the film Predator (in which she stars). 

More: Chrissy Metz Opens Up Her Real-Life Family Heartbreak

While at the event, Metz couldn’t contain her excitement at the idea of Munn making a cameo on This Is Us. “Oh, my God, cutesies!” she told Entertainment Tonight in regard to the idea. 

Metz said her “wheels are turning” trying to figure out a way they could write Munn into the Pearson family (or at least on the fringe of it). “I mean, I can’t tell you [how it could work] because then it would give too much away about what’s about to happen.” 

Still, it’s obvious Metz would happily bring Munn into the fold, and we’re not mad at that one bit. The feeling is mutual too. “I would love that! I’m a huge fan of that show and of Chrissy’s, so I’ll do anything with Chrissy,” Munn gushed.

She even came up with a plan B in case the This Is Us cameo doesn’t come to fruition. “We can just do our own movie,” she suggested. Netflix, are you listening?! 

But, logistically, would this work? Could Munn squeeze a guest appearance into her schedule? After all, she's already worked with Metz's on-screen brother, Sterling K. Brown (in the aforementioned Predator). 

While we’re holding out hope, it seems dubious. 

In addition to her role on the TV series Six, Munn is currently filming a TV series called The Rook, which is slated for release in 2019. She also has three movies in various stages of production: The Buddy Games, Violet and Die in a Gunfight. 

More: Sterling K. Brown Supports Olivia Munn for Speaking Out Against Predator Actor

But hey, perhaps she’ll have an opening in 2019. By then, maybe Metz will have figured out the perfect way to incorporate a character played by Munn. What better way to kick off the new year than with two of our favorite girl heroes hanging out on-screen together? 

Congrats are in order — and no, we’re not talking about Prince Harry and Duchess Meghan of Sussex's pregnancy news (although that is cause for celebration too). No, today’s big news belongs to Pippa Middleton and her husband, James Matthews, who just became parents!

On Monday at 1:58 p.m. local time, Middleton gave birth to a newborn son weighing 8 pounds, 9 ounces in the Lindo Wing at St. Mary's Hospital in London. As of now, a name has not been released. But per the Daily Mail, “Everyone is delighted and mother and baby are doing well.”

The public has been on baby watch since Middleton and Matthews confirmed in June she was expecting. When she was photographed at the wedding of Princess Eugenie and Jack Brooksbank, it was widely speculated Middleton might go into labor any time. That suspicion reached a fever pitch just prior to her actual delivery when Matthews was spotted heading into the hospital on Monday evening. 

As reported by People, Middleton’s sister, Kate Middleton (now the Duchess of Cambridge), and brother-in-law, Prince William, issued a statement expressing their excitement over the news: “The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge are thrilled for Pippa and James,” the couple reportedly said in the statement via Kensington Palace.

More: Pippa Middleton Revealed Her Favorite Pregnancy Workout

Pippa Middleton and Matthews, a hedge fund manager, got hitched on May 20, 2017 — so, yes, just over a year to the day before Prince Harry and Markle’s May 19, 2018, nuptials. When Middleton and James got engaged back in 2016, a source for People claimed the couple was looking forward to settling down and “having children and leading a quiet life.” 

And so it begins. Congrats to the happy couple! 

We can't think of a scarier experience for parents than having a child become so sick an ambulance is required to transport the child as quickly as possible to a hospital. In fact, HGTV Flip or Flop cohosts Christina El Moussa and her ex-husband, Tarek El Moussa, are likely still getting their heart rates back down to normal. Fortunately, their adorable son, Brayden, 3, is already recovering well from his recent urgent trip to the hospital for a serious case of croup.

More: Christina El Moussa Says Her Divorce from Tarek El Moussa Felt Like 'Drowning'

Croup — if you and your offspring have been lucky enough to avoid its clutches — is an upper-respiratory infection that "obstructs breathing and causes a characteristic barking cough" according to the Mayo Clinic. If you've ever heard a child with a croup cough, you're not likely to forget it anytime soon. Trust us on this.

Yesterday, Tarek El Moussa posted a shot of Brayden in a hospital bed on Instagram. He captioned the post, “So my Big Boy has Croup over the weekend while he was with grandma. It is always very scary to see your child having a hard time breathing. 911 was called and he was taken to hospital in an ambulance. I’m sharing this to remind people it’s okay to ask for help in scary situations. The police and fire department are trained to help in these situations. Thank you to all that protect our families, communities and also country. And... of course... Brayden still looks cute." (He does.)

El Moussa's ex-wife, Christina, also posted a photo of Brayden yesterday with his face buried in the family's (also very cute) French bulldog's fur. Her caption did not mention Brayden's hospitalization specifically but simply said, "Reunited and it feels so good." Commenters were quick to make the connection, though, wishing Brayden well and sympathizing with Christina.

One commenter wrote on her post, "Croup is awful. My son had it... every year, multiple times, until he was almost 8 1/2. Nothing makes you feel as helpless as watching a child struggle to breathe. Hugs to you, Mama. Steam and crank the ac in the house."

Christina and Tarek divorced in January after splitting in December 2016. They also co-parent a daughter, Taylor, 8. Christina El Moussa is currently dating British TV host Ant Anstead — and she's got no problem with a little post-divorce PDA on social media. Hubba-hubba.

More: Will Christina El Moussa Remarry This Year?

Just like those of us who spend our days earthbound, astronauts on the International Space Station like to unwind by watching a good movie. Their moviegoing experience is probably a bit different from ours, though — they can float around, chill out and enjoy their movies in a way the rest of us aren't used to. 

So, what kind of movies do these space cowboys like? All kinds, according to this extensive list, which includes lots of comedies, biopics and crime dramas. While there are some natural picks on the list — including Gravity and The Right Stuff — some of the movies surprised us.

More: October Movies We're Most Excited For

1. A Room With a View

Instead of looking at the most spectacular views of Earth and the moon from the Space Station, sometimes the astronauts would rather watch a period drama set at an Italian hotel where the lead characters' room has no view at all. Maybe that's the thematic appeal — humans love a nice view. The film does have great actors, like a baby-faced Daniel Day-Lewis and Helena Bonham Carter, so it's definitely worth watching.

2. Chitty Chitty Bang Bang

This campy kids' movie from 1968 has terrible special effects and goofy songs, but it may provide a taste of nostalgia if the astronauts remember it fondly from childhood. Also, it's about a man with a fantastical dream of having a flying car, and if there's one thing we know about astronauts, it's that they're dreamers, too.

3. Divergent

This film is based on the wildly popular YA novel by Veronica Roth and is set in a dystopian future where everyone is divided into five factions. But the film's heroine, Tris (Shailene Woodley), somehow doesn't fit into any of those groups, rebelling against her government as she fights to protect her individuality. It's a thrilling watch, to be sure, but we were definitely surprised to see a YA-inspired movie pop up regardless.

4. Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb

This film from 1964 is about a paranoid U.S. general who goes rogue and deploys a nuclear attack on the Soviets. It's a statement against nuclear proliferation and a satire of the U.S. military, poking fun at the people in charge. Definitely more highbrow fare than other movies on this list, but hey, it's good to see NASA catering to all tastes. 

5. Hall Pass

This movie, starring Owen Wilson and Jason Sudeikis, is about two husbands experiencing rough patches in their marriages who both get a "hall pass" to be with another woman. The premise makes for a bawdy comedy that's no doubt fun to watch after a tough day, especially when that tough day is happening in space. 

6. It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown

We all loved the Charlie Brown cartoons when we were kids, so it's really sweet to know that the astronauts also want to take this trip down nostalgia lane — and they can do it whenever they want.

7. Meet Me in St. Louis

Great musicals like The Sound of Music, Mamma Mia! and Les Miserables are all available for viewing on the ISS, but for some strange reason, this Judy Garland film that centers on the 1904 World's Fair also makes the list. Is there something we're missing? Maybe this movie offers a mental escape from the fast-paced technological environment and work that takes place on the space station. Or maybe it's the "Technicolor romance of gaiety and song" the trailer boasts about.

8. Planes, Trains and Automobiles

It seems a little ironic that people currently orbiting Earth would want to watch a film about such mundane transportation methods, but we do agree that Steve Martin and John Candy are hilarious dudes.

9. Tom Thumb

Who’s watching this movie about a boy the size of a thumb, based on the fairy tale by Hans Christian Andersen? This one has us scratching our heads. Maybe when you're out in space, you feel the vastness of the universe and can relate to the little guy.

10. Alien, Aliens, Alien 3 and Alien: Resurrection

These movies are terrifying when you watch them on Earth, but watching them in space is another story. Wouldn't they give the astronauts nightmares?

11. Wayne’s World

This movie is another one with sentimental value, especially if you saw it when you were a teen or in your early 20s. The humor isn’t exactly the sophisticated stuff you’d think astronauts would like, but maybe watching Wayne and Garth, a couple of slackers, helps them relax. Party on, astronauts.

12. Zoolander

Ben Stiller plays a dumb-as-a-doorknob fashion model who gets conned into carrying out an assassination attempt. Although Zoolander is not a very sophisticated movie, we will admit there are a lot of great cameos, including David Bowie, Natalie Portman and even Fabio. Not surprisingly, the sequel that came out 15 years later didn’t make the list.

13. West Side Story

“I want to live in America!” So the song goes. At its core, this film is a story of immigrants and celebrates their dream of living in America. Lately, though, the United States’ policies on immigration and resulting family separations have been in the news, so it seems a bit controversial to include this film on the list.

14. Dumb and Dumber To

While we love the rubber-faced zaniness of Jim Carrey and Jeff Daniels, this movie is just banal slapstick humor... and it’s outdated. With really funny movies like The Princess Bride and Monty Python and the Holy Grail available, we’re surprised this made the list, especially since the first Dumb and Dumber did not.

15. The Lego Movie

We get it, this is a super-fun movie, but with all three The Godfather movies, North by Northwest and Casablanca available on the ISS, we’re just surprised astronauts also want to watch this movie about kids' toys.

More: Which Netflix RomCom Should You Watch Next?

16. The Runaways

Starring Elle Fanning as Cherie Curry and Kristen Stewart as Joan Jett, this film tells the story of the all-girl band The Runaways and their coming of age while touring together. The movie is great, but it’s just about such an obscure band that we were surprised to see it on the list. Movies about more famous musicians, like Walk the Line, The Doors and Amadeus, didn't make the cut.

Through her wellness and lifestyle brand, Goop, Gwyneth Paltrow has endorsed a variety of nontraditional health practices, like coffee enemas and putting a jade egg in your vagina. But there’s at least one wellness trend she won’t try: blood facials.

In a video interview that is part of Glamour U.K.’s first-ever digital cover, Paltrow said the so-called "vampire facials" — which involve having your own blood plasma spread on your face — are “a little maybe too extreme” for her.

But there are plenty of other products and trends Paltrow is on board with, some of which she unpacked from a bag full of her go-to health, wellness and beauty items. First out of the bag was a vibrator called The Tennis Coach. Though she’s unsure of exactly how the product got its name, her main point was to stress the importance of women owning their sexuality.

“I think it’s a really important subject,” she told Glamour. “I think women feel much better and are much happier and integrated when they’re having good orgasms.”

Next, Paltrow shared her most important bedtime ritual: taking a bath with essential oils.

“I cannot sleep unless I’ve had a hot bath,” she explained, adding that she stays in the tub for “a good 20 minutes,” and that there’s a couch next to it in case her kids want to come in and chat with her mid-soak.  

More: Gwyneth Paltrow Discloses the Hottest Health Trend of 2017 — Sleep

The final product in her tote was the Goop medicine bag, which, naturally, contains an assortment of crystals. The $85 rock collection comes with a booklet that describes what each crystal is purported to do, like using sodalite for health communication and quartz for grounding. Paltrow said her go-to crystal is amethyst because “it’s good for sleep and grounding and meditation.”

And while she’s staunchly pro-crystal, she is very much anti-leech. Paltrow shared that she has a friend who uses leeches as a health treatment — a practice that was widely used everywhere from ancient Greece to 19th-century America and Europe until it started to fall out of favor around the 1830s when physicians realized there were better ways to heal people.

More: We Can't Believe We Have to Say This, But Don't Put Wasp Nest in Your Vagina

But like blood facials, leeching is also off the table for Paltrow: “I would never do that. It’s too far for me,” she told Glamour. In other words, don’t expect a leech kit to appear on Goop anytime soon.

Halloween in the U.S. tends to be a garish affair. There are rotting zombie faces, ghoulish Frankensteins and bloody vampires everywhere.

But Starbucks Japan has gone a different route with their Halloween Frappuccinos this year, and we've got to say we're pretty jealous of these elegant offerings.

More: How to Make Your Favorite Starbucks Bakery Items at Home

For the naughty among us, there's the Halloween witch Frappuccino. Made with a blended crème base Frappuccino, this drink is a dark apple-chocolate flavor, with apple compote, dark chocolate syrup, apple and caramel cookies blended in and a cloud of whipped cream on top.

For the sweet, there's the Halloween princess Frappuccino. It is also a crème base Frappuccino, this time "milk sweet apple" flavored. Basically, sweet cream and apple compote are blended together to make the drink, which is topped with a swirl of whipped cream and pearlescent pastel sprinkles.

More: Here Are the Go-To Starbucks Orders of 20 Celebs

We've always loved both sides of Halloween, both the spooky and the silly, so these new offerings really speak to us. In the past, Starbucks USA has had some fun Halloween offerings (vampire and Frankenstein Frappuccinos), but we're looking forward to seeing what they have this year. Maybe they can take a page out of Starbucks Japan's book and give us something that speaks to the elegantly spooky side of Halloween. Then again, we'd also just settle for anything that has those gorgeous sprinkles on top.

How often, really, do you brag about yourself? Does the idea of pointing out your own accomplishments sound like something fun and fulfilling? Or are you totally uncomfortable with the thought of it? If you lean more towards the latter, Shonda Rhimes is out here trying to change your mind. As she made clear during Elle's Women in Hollywood event on Monday night, she loves to brag about her accomplishments — and she wants you to do to start doing the same.

More: Shonda Rhimes Tells Elle Magazine Why She's Fighting for Diversity on Television

During the event, Rhimes received the Luminary Award. During her acceptance speech, the showrunner addressed women’s unwillingness to shine the spotlight on themselves. 

“In a world in which women of all colors are constantly forced to battle with men for equity and inclusion, we [Rhimes and Ellen Pompeo, her Grey’s star] had the good fortune to work in an environment that we had nurtured and built with enough of our sweat and tears over enough years that we no longer needed to battle men to get to the top of a mountain,” Rhimes said. “We just built our own mountains and then we realized all we simply had to do was equalize and include one another.”

She brought this up, she explained for two reasons. “One, I'm awesome. And I work with a ton of other equally awesome women. And women do not brag enough.” 

Quite the opposite, in fact. When faced with a chance to acknowledge something great they’ve done, women often shrink. 

“The other day I came to this conclusion that men brag and women hide. Even when they don't deserve to brag, men brag, like Trump and Kavanaugh. When men do deserve to brag they are good at it. They do it so well. Men brag about everything. Even things that aren't things,” Rhimes said. 

More: How Shonda Rhimes Changed Kerry Washington's Views About Powerful Women

The Shondaland mastermind pointed to Pompeo as an inspiration, referencing Pompeo’s no-holds-barred interview with The Hollywood Reporter in January. In the piece, Pompeo “told the world she was the highest paid woman in dramatic television” and “she deserved it.” 

In a word, said Rhimes, Pompeo bragged. There was some pushback, but there shouldn’t have been. 

Then Rhimes did a bit of well-deserved bragging of her own. “I am the highest paid showrunner in television,” she said after mustering up her nerve. “How’s that for girl power? … I am and we are awesome. Which is another way of saying we have power and we are powerful women. And when we say we have power we are really saying we deserve to have power.” 

Rhimes underscored the importance of empowering each other, giving a shout-out to many of the important women in her own life — including “my nanny, who is basically the single most important working woman on the planet.”

It was on this note that Rhimes ended her immodest, amazing speech. “Come together, work together, brag together, be powerful together, and whenever we can we should be lifting other women up. Because lifting someone up is what lifts us. That is the point.”

Read Rhimes’ full speech here.

Everyone on the planet now knows that Meghan Markle, now the Duchess of Sussex, will spawn a new royal in the spring of 2019. The big announcement was made with great fanfare on Monday. Palace officials said very little, though — which is why we were tickled pink (or blue?) to find that ET dug up an old Hello! interview with Meghan in which she makes a surprising (and possibly revealing) confession about the baby on the way.

More: Prince Harry Discusses Meghan Markle's Pregnancy in the Most Bashful Way

"I’ve always coveted the Cartier French Tank watch," Meghan, then an actor, said to Hello! way back in 2015. "When I found out Suits had been picked up for our third season — which, at the time, felt like such a milestone — I totally splurged and bought the two-tone version."

We're pretty sure this is a shot of the now-Duchess of Sussex sporting the Tank watch in 2013:

But get this! Meghan had more to say about the treasure: "I had it engraved on the back, 'To M.M. From M.M.' And I plan to give it to my daughter one day. That’s what makes pieces special, the connection you have to them." Of course, in order for the inscription to continue making sense, said baby girl would need the initials M.M. 

If you take a peek at Cartier's site, you'll see there are a few versions of the Tank Française ranging from $3,200 to $8,100. In other words, Meghan may be a little psychic. Because that's a hella royal gift for any baby.

More: Meghan Markle & Prince Harry Expecting Their First Child Together

If Meghan wore the precious watch in 2013, this is definitely a dream that's been in the making for a long time. But how do we solve the riddle? Another M.M., but only if it's a girl? What if it's a boy? Will he score the Cartier watch — or have to settle for one of his Uncle William's out-to-pasture polo ponies?

Honestly, this is an adorable side of Meghan we hadn't seen before. We picture her scribbling future baby names inside her seventh-grade notebooks in the very back so her science teacher won't notice when she hands in her homework. Mary Meghan? Mia Michaela? Maeve Millicent? Marvin Montague?

We just have one more question: Seriously, where do we place our baby name bets?

Busy Philipps' new memoir, This Will Only Hurt a Little, drops some major revelations, but arguably one of the more surprising anecdotes is the story of her connection to the 2007 Will Ferrell film Blades of Glory (she helped come up with the idea for the film) and how one of the film's stars, Amy Poehler, helped her get the credit she deserved for making Blades of Glory happen in the first place.

More: Busy Philipps Claims in Her Book That Former Costar James Franco Assaulted Her

In her book, Philipps (who has a “Story by” credit now) describes how she and her then-boyfriend, Craig Cox, came up for the idea together. At the time, she was filming White Chicks in Vancouver, and because of this, the two spent a lot of time indoors watching ice-skating on TV. So, they fleshed out a storyline, looping in Cox's brother, Jeff Cox, to nail down a script. The thing is, as Philipps recalls, once the script was done, the brothers allegedly decided to cut Philipps out of the equation and sell it themselves. 

Not cool, dudes.

“I had a hard time recovering,” Philipps writes in This Will Only Hurt a Little. “It wasn’t the script. It was that I’d been so easily thrown out, like trash. I was in the way of their success, I guess? Collateral damage. And in order for them to do this insanely shitty thing to me, they vilified me and told me I was crazy.”

More: 6 Questions With Busy Philipps About Motherhood, Friendships & Finding Self-Love

But Philipps also reveals that she got a boost of confidence from none other than Poehler following the ordeal. She writes, “Amy Poehler grabbed me. ‘Girl,’ she said. ‘Seth Meyers told me the story of what those dudes did. FUCK ‘EM! You rock and are so talented. Come here! Sit at our table!” 

Among Philipps' other anecdotes, according to Entertainment Tonight, are tales of meeting Courtney Love in the most Courtney Love way, being bolstered by Lady Gaga after the 2016 election, the truth about Chad Michael Murray, how Sharon Stone predicted her success and more. But all things considered, this anecdote in particular might just be our fave.

When you first get the call letting you know that a loved one is ill, a million things go racing through your mind: What’s the prognosis? Should I drop everything and go to them right away? What will the treatment plan look like?

That was certainly true earlier this year when I found out my mother had leukemia. Immediately, I began to reshape my life around her diagnosis — taking trips from New York City to her home in Cleveland, reading as much as I could about the condition and getting to know her team of medical professionals. I always knew caregiving — especially from a distance — was going to be a challenge. But what I didn’t anticipate was the guilt that came along with it.

And no, I’m not referring to anyone in my family making me feel guilty that I don’t live in Cleveland and have the ability to be a local caregiver. I’m talking about the guilt that pops up every day when I’m doing seemingly normal things.

The feeling is twofold. First, there’s the guilt I feel because my mother is sick and I’m not. If I’m enjoying myself somewhere, she’s back in Ohio probably not feeling very well. And there’s another layer specific to our situation: When I was 7 years old, I had a blood disorder that for all intents and purposes looked like leukemia but wasn’t a form of cancer. I recovered in a few months. My mother, on the other hand, also ended up with a blood disorder, but hers is cancer. I know this is nothing either of us can control, but it’s hard to wrap my head around.

More: Why Caregivers Should Not Forget About Self-Care

Then there’s the guilt that comes from spending time or money doing something other than caring for her. To be clear, since her diagnosis, my mother has stressed that she wants me to do the things I’d normally do — including taking several trips I had planned before she got sick. In fact, when I mentioned the possibility of canceling them, she firmly told me she wanted me to go and would be upset with me if I didn’t. But despite having her blessing, I still felt guilty going on a vacation and spending my time away from work and New York doing something other than helping her.

The same thing goes for spending money. Any time I’m out to dinner with friends or doing any other sort of leisure activity, I’m constantly second-guessing my decision and thinking I should have probably saved the money for my next flight to Cleveland or to cover some of the mounting medical costs.

Given that I work in the health and wellness space, I’m very familiar with the concept and importance of self-care. I know that if we don’t care for ourselves, it makes caring for others much harder — but knowing this doesn’t make the guilt go away.

Why the guilt?

To understand how guilt plays a role in caregiving and get some tips for how to deal with it, I spoke with Karen Whitehead, a social worker specializing in helping overwhelmed and anxious adults and caregivers.

“Guilt can come into play with caregivers in many ways,” she tells SheKnows. “Caregivers may feel guilty that they're not doing enough for their loved one or they may feel guilty that they make a choice to prioritize themselves or other family or friends.”

Generally, feelings of guilt implies that someone has intentionally done something wrong, Whitehead explains, but in a caregiving scenario when you’re spending time and energy helping another person, it may be hard to pinpoint why you feel like you’ve done something wrong.

“In caregiving, often what's been done wrong is the caregiver has violated his/her own expectation of how he/she thinks things should be — what ‘should’ be done,” she says. 

In other words, caregivers feel guilty because they think they should be doing more, but Whitehead points out that this "should" is often an opinion rather than the fact of the situation. “Most people who are being cared for want their family member or friend to have a life and take care of themselves,” she adds. 

It’s also important to realize this guilt isn’t always a negative thing; in fact, Whitehead says it can be a motivator too, prompting us to be more engaged in caregiving than you might otherwise be. The downside of this, she notes, is that, unfortunately, when guilt is the motivator, it can often lead to resentment.

What are some ways to combat guilt?

Speaking from my own experience, juggling everything is hard enough without having to deal with the guilt, so I was eager to get some tips for how to work through it. 

Whitehead says that to combat guilt, we should recognize we may be trying to achieve perfection or the unavailable option of "doing it all," which just isn’t realistic.  

“If you as the caregiver are burned out or trying to do it all, how much good can you do taking care of Mom or Dad?” she says. “Taking care of yourself will give you more energy to take care of and prioritize the tasks in your life.”

More: 6 Things I've Learned From Being My Mother's Caregiver

It’s also important to bear in mind that self-care means more than sleeping well, exercising or getting a massage every once in a while. It's about finding a balance by nourishing yourself, not only physically, but emotionally, intellectually, socially and spiritually. That could mean going out with friends, attending a work function or making a choice to honor your own needs will help you sustain caregiving longer.  

“Instead of saying, ‘I feel guilty,’ try ‘I regret...,’” Whitehead suggests. “’I regret that I can't come see you today,’ rather than ‘I feel guilty I can't come see you today.’ Regret acknowledges the sadness caregivers feel when they realize they can't do it all.”

Honestly, she’s right. A lot of the guilt I feel is really sadness that I can’t do it all. It’s just easier to attach those feelings to something more tangible, like taking a vacation or going to a show, than coming to terms with the fact that it’s hard to do stuff for both my mother and myself. At this point, I’m not sure if that will alleviate these feelings, but at least it’s a start.