Dealing with my kids' constant demands is one of my least favorite parts of parenthood. Someone always needs another snack or expects me to know where to find their bike helmet or needs help putting on pants that they decided to take off completely, underwear still attached, inside-out in order to use the restroom.
I didn't sign up for this parenting gig expecting to be a butt-wiper, 24-hour concession stand and water boy, and I want to believe there will be a day (someday soon, I hope) when my kids will not need me quite so much. Therefore, I am trying to actively make sure I am doing my best to raise independent kids.
Here are a few tips on how to make your kids more independent so you can get a little break from their constant neediness (or at least train them to get their own snacks).
Start a chore chart: Begin chore charts early on to start teaching your kids that you are not their maid or butler. Making their bed, cleaning their rooms and even making a simple snack for themselves are all things they can do given enough time and practice.
Get in a routine:Visual routine cards can help young kids get into the habit of completing their morning and evening routines without so much nagging from you.
Learn their vitals: Now is the time for kids to learn their age, phone number and home address — and it doesn’t need to be hard when you use fun games or songs.
Remember: Patience is needed for progress. Teaching kids to do things for themselves at this age takes a lot of time and repetition. It is way quicker and easier to just do things for them, but give them the time and space they need to gain independence.
Ages 7 – 10
Start the alarm: Buy your kid an alarm clock and take the morning wake-up call off your to-do list.
Time to speak up: Ordering at restaurants, answering questions, ordering pizza on the phone — it’s time to make sure your kid knows how to hold conversations with adults and convey their message clearly.
Begin personal planning: Move on from the visual routine and let your kids start mapping out their days and weeks with more detail. A great way to get them interested in planning is to let them take the lead on some vacation activity-planning.
Remember: Resist the urge to save the day. Kids are going to make mistakes and want to quit, but instead of swooping in a fixing it for them, give them the space they need to figure out solutions on their own.
Be budget savvy: Now is the time to start a checking and savings account and giving your kids a little more freedom with their money. Teach them how to balance a checkbook and introduce them to the inner workings of the family budget.
Make appointments: Does your kid need a haircut or dentist appointment? Have them pick up the phone and make the call.
Dinner duty: If the 8- to 13-year-olds on MasterChef Junior can whip up a croquembouche, your kid can probably handle making a casserole every now and again. Give them some weekly dinner duties and let them find recipes they feel equipped to master.
Remember: They can do a lot more than your think. As the little kid years fade away, they want to test out what it’s like to “be grown up,” so make room for them to grow in maturity by upping their freedom appropriately.
Ages 15 – 18
Get a job: Whether it’s babysitting on the weekends, starting an online business or slinging hot dogs in the Target food court (even less glamorous than it sounds, I assure you) it’s time to start working for someone other than mom and dad.
Get a license: When you’re talking independence, no step is quite as monumental as setting out on the open road. Want to make the experience extra empowering? Make them pay for part (or all) of their vehicle purchase, teach them to negotiate the price, ensure they are covering maintenance and completing all the legal paperwork themselves.
Own your finances: As your kids get ready to enter the real world, they should be doing more than managing a mini-budget. Let them take control of their finances completely. Transfer money to make them pay for their own extracurriculars, get them into good savings habits (including retirement) and have them take charge on paying some of the household bills (and if they incur late fees, make them foot the bill).
Remember: Even though they may be on the verge of adulthood, they aren’t all the way grown yet. As frustrating as it may be to see them make simple mistakes, keep in mind that it’s better for them to blunder big-time at home than out in the real world.
Our feelings about having kids might be not right now or far in the future or not ever. Or maybe you absolutely know you want to get pregnant—and soon. Either way, it’s important to know the signs of infertility, because they can often indicate a larger problem that can affect your overall health, whether kids are your goal or not. “If you think there’s something wrong, listen to your body. Talk to your doctor whether you want to get pregnant or not,” advises Meike Uhler, MD, a fertility specialist with the Fertility Centers of Illinois.
We’ve compiled a list that’s by no means exhaustive—for more information, you should always talk to your doctor in person—but it does hit on some of the biggest signs that should perk up your ears and let you know it’s time to make an appointment.
Your Periods are Unusually Painful
Just so you know, you shouldn’t have to clear your calendar when your period’s coming because you know you’ll be in bed in agony. In fact, it may be a sign of endometriosis, says Dr. Uhler. And we’re not talking a little cramping here and there, but “enough pain that it affects your lifestyle. You can’t go to work or do the things you normally do,” she says. The condition, which happens when the lining of your uterus (endometrial tissue) grows outside of it, affects up to half of infertile women, according to the American Society for Reproductive Medicine. Hormonal birth control pills are one treatment. Talk to your doctor if period pain is messing with your ability to live comfortably—it doesn’t have to be your normal.
Your Hands and Feet are Always Cold
If your extremities are constantly icy, the answer isn’t to wear gloves and fuzzy socks. Get your thyroid hormone levels checked ASAP. Cold feet and hands are one sign of hypothyroidism (or an underactive thyroid gland), says Dr. Uhler. That can lead to irregular ovulation and affect your menstrual cycle. A blood test will tell your doctor if your levels are normal. Other signs: constipation, forgetfulness, dry skin, and being unusually tired.
Your Period is MIA—or Constant
While you might feel lucky to skip a period (or five), that can be a sign of what docs call “ovulatory dysfunction.” Your ovary has to release an egg in order to be fertilized, and if you’re not ovulating at all, you won’t get your period, explains Dr. Uhler. If you have cycles that are longer than every 35 days, you should get checked out, as well as if your period is MIA altogether. Also, keep a heads up if you get your period too frequently—that’s every 21 days or less—because it may be another sign of an ovulation problem.
If you’re not pregnant or breastfeeding, nada should be coming out of your nipples. If they are leaking fluid, it may be a sign of a condition called hyperprolactinemia, which means that you’re body is producing too much of the breastfeeding hormone prolactin. Causes can range from thyroid problems to medications to a (normally) benign tumor on your pituitary gland. When prolactin levels are high, it affects your hormonal balance and may tell your ovaries to go on hiatus. Don’t be shy about mentioning any weird symptom to your gynecologist—trust us, they’ve heard it all. A simple blood test can ID this problem, and medications can treat most cases.
You’re Very Overweight
If your BMI is 30 to 40, you qualify as obese, which can compromise fertility, according to the American Society for Reproductive Medicine. They note that obesity is the cause of six percent of infertility. Reproductive hormones can be stored in body fat and mess with the area of your brain that tells your ovaries it’s go-time, so if you’re trying for a baby or know you will be in the next several years, talk to your doc if you’re concerned that your weight could lower your odds of conceiving.
You’re Sprouting Facial Hair
Hair growing profusely in places you wouldn’t expect (like your face), or losing it in surprising places (like your head) are hallmark symptoms of PCOS, or polycystic ovary syndrome (it’s also marked by acne and screwy periods). The condition means your reproductive hormones are out of whack, which can impair your ovaries’ ability to make or release an egg. “PCOS is one of the most common, but treatable causes of infertility in women,” according to Womenshealth.gov. Meds like birth control can help manage the condition, as can reaching a healthy weight.
You Have a History of Gonorrhea
The common sexually transmitted disease can come with a few symptoms: burning while you pee, an abnormal amount of vaginal discharge, and bleeding mid-cycle. But, unfortunately, according to the CDC, most women don’t have symptoms. The STD can lead to pelvic pain, infertility, and cause scar tissue that blocks fallopian tubes, which prevents the egg and sperm from meeting in the first place. If your OB doesn’t mention screening for gonorrhea during your annual appointment, and you’re worried you might be at risk, be sure to ask to be tested.
If that Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life's cliffhanger involving Rory is still bothering you, allow Milo Ventimiglia to help ease your pain.
While chatting with Build, Ventimiglia dropped a major detail about the identity of Rory's baby daddy. If you recall back in January, the This Is Us star told Variety at the 2017 Golden Globes about who he thought the father of Rory's child is, "I don't think it's any of the three guys at all." He then added, "I don't know. You know what? I haven't really sat around and thought about it, wondered who it was. So, I'll be surprised as anyone else is."
Well, now he is clearly changing his tune and has definitely given it some thought (or was told by Amy Sherman-Palladino herself). He told Build, "No, it is not Jess’ baby. I feel like everybody’s like, 'But what if he came out with a pompadour, leather jacket and a smart brain?!'"
So, there you have it. Though, that would be quite the entrance — and also somewhat amazing. A Jess baby with a pompadour, wearing a leather jacket and having the love of books? Who wouldn't want to see that? However, that doesn't seem likely whatsoever.
According to Ventimiglia, Jess and Rory did not have some tryst off-screen (like some have suspected/hoped for) resulting in a pregnancy. You know what this means? She probably got pregnant by Logan. Yes, she also had sex with Wookiee guy and Paul is also a potential candidate, but really? Would ASP make these two insignificant characters the father of Rory's baby? We don't think so. It would be kind of a bummer if either Wookiee guy or Paul ended up being the father. We would definitely be making a phone call to Maury Povich to make sure.
We're not gonna lie, we are glad that Jess doesn't appear to be the father. Our apologies to all those Jess and Rory 'shippers out there. As much as Jess and Rory have a connection, not to mention the fact that he still very much has feelings for her, Logan is the only one who makes sense as the father.
Rory and Logan remained in contact over the years and even had a not-so-serious relationship on the side. Seeing as they were sleeping together, Logan has to be the baby daddy. Even though they ended things and Logan was with someone when Rory said goodbye to him, a pregnancy could be a way to unite them for good. If you're a Logan fan, then you are probably hoping this will come true if new episodes ever happen.
Furthermore, if Logan is the dad, then it's like Rory's life is mirroring her mother's. In most ways, Logan is nothing like Christopher, but the two have many similarities. So, it's kind of like when Lorelai got pregnant by Christopher. That definitely is something ASP would do — bringing everything full circle.
We'd like to thank Ventimiglia for being so candid about all of this. It's something that many fans still wonder about. Now that there is talk Netflix just might bring back Gilmore Girls for more episodes, theories of what a second season could look like or would include are surely going to be created, including the unmasking of Rory's baby daddy.
While Jess and Rory supporters are mourning Ventimiglia's comment and trying to get over all of the shock they surely are experiencing, we'll be over here hoping what he said is very much true. Logan, we got your back.
Yesterday, President Donald Trump announced that he would preserve federal payments to Planned Parenthood — if they stopped providing one of their crucial medical services: abortions.
Just to recap: Federal funding currently does not fund abortions at Planned Parenthood. This is not news. This is something we have known for a long time and many people have been extremely vocal about.
“As I said throughout the campaign, I am pro-life and I am deeply committed to investing in women’s health and plan to significantly increase federal funding in support of nonabortion services such as cancer screenings,” Trump said yesterday in a statement to The New York Times. “Polling shows the majority of Americans oppose public funding for abortion, even those who identify as pro-choice. There is an opportunity for organizations to continue the important work they do in support of women’s health, while not providing abortion services.”
Ignoring the fact that Trump was vocally pro-choice until running for the Republican nomination (because hey, as Americans we have the right to decide that a woman’s autonomy is negotiable, right?) this statement is beyond troubling.
His argument hinges on the fact that according to an uncited poll, a majority of Americans oppose public funding for abortion — even those who identify as pro-choice. But again, here’s the thing: Federal funding is not used to pay for abortions. So if that’s what he’s basing his decision on, good news — Planned Parenthood will remain funded!
Unfortunately, that logic relies on facts and Trump following through with previous commitments, which as we’ve seen repeatedly have no place in the White House or this administration.
Senator Kirsten E. Gillibrand (D-NY) theorized that the president had made this statement only so he’d later be able to claim that he had made an offer to Planned Parenthood and that they were being unreasonable and unwilling to negotiate.
“The Trump administration needs to stop playing political games that would put access to the full range of safe reproductive care at risk, or they will get the fight of their lives,” Gillibrand said told The New York Times.
Amen, Kirsten.
Meanwhile learn more about what defunding Planned Parenthood actually means:
About 11 to 20 percent of new mothers in the U.S. experience postpartum depression; 10 percent suffer from postpartum anxiety.
New motherhood is often cited as a stressful, if magical, time in which the mother begins to form long-lasting bonds with her new baby. However, for mothers suffering from postpartum depression and anxiety, achieving that post-childbirth bliss is incredibly difficult.
Postpartum depression and anxiety can be triggered by a variety of issues (see a full list below), but often has to do with the rapid drop in hormones a mother experiences after giving birth. Drastic hormonal shifts like this often result in severe mood swings — one of the symptoms of postpartum depression. Lack of sleep also contributes to postpartum mood disorders. The physically and mentally exhausting experience of caring for a newborn baby, particularly in an unstable or unsupportive environment, can exacerbate symptoms of PPD.
PPD makes it more difficult for a mother to establish a connection with her baby, oftentimes leading to a cycle of even more shame and guilt. While some may mix up the symptoms of PPD with those of baby blues, there are some notable differences. Both are mood-affecting and bring on feelings of sadness, irritability and other symptoms of depression, but unlike PPD, baby blues only last up to two weeks after childbirth. It is important not to trivialize depressive feelings or physical symptoms of depression after childbirth, as what might be brushed off as simply baby blues could be the start of postpartum depression.
Those suffering from PPD may also experience severe anxiety and fear, more severe than the expected new-mom butterflies. Postpartum anxiety incites feelings of constant worry and fear, changes in sleep and appetite (much like depression) and panic attacks. These come with physical symptoms as well, such as an “inability to sit still” and “dizziness, hot flashes, and nausea.”
Warning signs of postpartum depression and anxiety
If depressive symptoms have been present for longer than two weeks after childbirth, this is a sign the a new mother is suffering from more than just baby blues. If depressive symptoms begin to hit after the first two weeks of childbirth, this is also a sign of PPD beginning to develop. It’s important to also note that while exhaustion, fatigue and losing interesting in things that were once pleasurable may be normal side effects of having a newborn baby at home, they can also be red flags for PPD. If symptoms begin to get in the way of taking care of yourself or your baby, they should be addressed with a doctor.
A drastic change in appetite and inability to sleep can also indicate impending PPD and anxiety. In an interview with U.S. News, mother Allison McGill said that two months after giving birth, she began experiencing severe anxiety regarding her son’s well-being at all hours. She was rarely sleeping, as well as eating less. When McGill sought treatment one month later, her mental health professional recognized these symptoms as PPD and anxiety and also pointed to McGill’s past struggles with anxiety as an indicator of her likelihood to be affected by the condition postpartum.
Those who fit the below risk factors for PPD and anxiety may want to discuss a treatment plan with their doctor during the pregnancy so they can be prepared in case a postpartum mood disorder does hit.
Risk factors for postpartum depression and anxiety
Many women who suffer from postpartum depression and/or anxiety also have a personal or familial history of the conditions. About one-third of women suffering from postpartum depression have dealt with depression prior to becoming pregnant and another one-third also suffered from depression throughout their pregnancy.
One of the biggest indicators of a mother suffering from postpartum mood disorder is if she has had an episode during a previous pregnancy. Outside stressors such as being in an abusive relationship, financial instability, experiencing a recent traumatic event, lack of emotional support and substance abuse issues are also significant risk factors for postpartum depression and anxiety. Having an unplanned pregnancy or a pregnancy the mother is unsure of following through with increases the chance of PPD and anxiety as well. Access to reproductive health care and family planning services is vital to decreasing the number of PPD cases associated with unwanted or unplanned pregnancies.
According to Postpartum Progress, only 15 percent of new mothers suffering from PPD receive treatment. If symptoms haven’t decreased in several weeks, are making everyday life and taking care of a baby difficult, or are triggering thoughts of suicide or harm, it is imperative to seek help.
The effects of untreated postpartum depression and anxiety are not just damaging to the mother’s life, but can be potentially harmful to the new baby as well. It is never the mother’s fault for experiencing postpartum mental illness, but it is vital that she receive professional help. If you or someone you know needs treatment, check out the resources below.
In our new series, Pregnancy Diaries, we ask expecting women to jot down every pregnancy-related detail of their lives for a week. Work-related conundrums, struggles with IVF, and a whole lot of nausea, ahead. To kick off the series, we have a 28-year-old Carroll Gardens resident who consults for her husband’s company. She’s 35 weeks pregnant.
Number of kids: Just this little boy on the way!
How long did it take you to conceive? I was on the pill off and on for ten years, and I went off of it in the spring of 2015, but my husband and I didn’t start trying until that December. We were blessed to get pregnant on the first try, but that pregnancy sadly ended in miscarriage in February 2016 (the baby passed at 8 weeks, and I started to miscarry at 9 weeks and 3 days). I was grateful to have been able to miscarry at home with no complications. I grieved that loss for about three months, and then was ecstatic to get pregnant again in April.
Any other details relevant to your pregnancy? This pregnancy has thankfully gone very smoothly. I had low progesterone at the beginning of my pregnancy, so I was on supplements for the first trimester. I also had low levels of the protein PAPP-A when I had my nuchal scan at 12 weeks, which means that I need additional monitoring from 34 weeks until I have the baby. Additionally, I had pretty bad nausea for about 18 weeks with plenty of vomiting. I started feeling the baby move around 15 weeks, which is apparently very early. We found out that the baby is a boy at 20 weeks.
Day 1
8:45 a.m. — I wake up later than I would have liked to, as I was up a lot of the night obsessing over all of the things we have to do before baby comes, and the fact that we haven’t decided on a name yet. Naming a human=so daunting! I haven’t been sleeping well for weeks anyway, due to hip pain and constant trips to the bathroom, but this anxiety-riddled insomnia has left me even more drained than usual.
My husband and I have a business meeting at 10 am (I consultant/freelance with his company), and since he’s been working from basically from 9 a.m. to 11 p.m. every day to wrap things up before he goes out of town for a few days (he’s leaving this evening), I wanted to take some time to connect over coffee before we leave. I drag myself out of bed; quite literally (getting out of bed when you weigh over 200 lbs and have no core strength is quite the feat), and head down to chat with my man before we head out for our meeting.
12 p.m. —The meeting went well, and now I’m headed to the hospital where I’m having my and baby’s first “non-stress test.” At my routine nuchal scan at 12 weeks, I was found to have a low PAPP-A count. Low PAPP-A (a pregnancy-related protein) can be associated with placental problems later in pregnancy, so starting today, I have to go to the hospital weekly to monitor the baby’s heart rate and get a sonogram to make sure he’s healthy and growing properly.
While baby boy is having his heart rate recorded, I answer e-mails and work on my “Baby” folder of to-do lists in my beloved Wunderlist app, which makes me feel way more organized than I actually am. I need to assemble the bassinet that the baby will sleep in for the first few months, put the infant bassinet attachment onto my stroller, and figure out how the heck our infant car seat works. My nesting instinct has been going totally haywire for the past few weeks, and I’m just dying to have everything perfectly in place so I’m ready—or as ready as I can be!—whenever baby boy decides to make his debut.
“I’m up early—to pee of course. My bladder was doing remarkably well for awhile, but that all changed about a month ago.”
1:45 p.m. —Good news: Baby is looking great! He showed off for the nurses by moving a ton. Very proud of my active little boy. The bad news: the appointment took almost two hours and I’m starving by the end. I treat myself to a cab home to get myself in front of my fridge as quickly as possible, and have leftover homemade soup and cheese and crackers for lunch. After eating, my body is screaming at me to take a nap (a common occurrence now that I’m deep into the third trimester), but there’s work to do. I work on researching sources for an upcoming article I’m writing, and prep for a work phone call at 4 pm.
5 p.m. —After finishing my work call, I head out to run some errands. My final stop: picking up the rug for our nursery at UPS. On my way out, a man who had been in the UPS store asks if I need a cab. I said yes, and he tells me that he’s a taxi driver, takes my rug for me, loads it into his green cab, and proceeds to drive me the few blocks home, free of charge. He even carries the rug up the stoop to my front door. I feel like the luckiest lady ever. Merry Christmas, indeed! It’s incredible how kind New Yorkers can be, especially to a pregnant lady that looks like she’s about to pop (aka me).
7 p.m. —I make some fried rice for dinner and try to go to bed early, but end up waiting up for my husband, who’s landing in Miami around midnight. Once we chat, I finally go to sleep.
Day 2
5 a.m. —I’m up early to pee, of course. My bladder was doing remarkably well for awhile, but that all changed about a month ago. Now I’m up at least three to four times a night. Usually, I’m able to get back to sleep pretty quickly after peeing, but tonight I’m sleeping alone for the first time in a long time, and my anxiety ends up catching up to me. Since I had a miscarriage before this pregnancy, I’m pretty constantly worried that I will lose this child, and the closer I get to meeting him, the scarier it is. I’m so close to motherhood I can almost taste it, and I’m falling more and more in love with my son every minute. I end up letting out the emotion in big, pathetic sobs, which actually feels pretty good. I call Neil and he helps to reassure me that Junior is just fine, and he’s going to make it here. Amazingly, baby boy is up and moving with me from 5 am to 7 am (he’s usually only awake for 30 minutes to an hour at a time), which is so reassuring. I read for a bit and eventually make it back to sleep.
8 a.m. —Alarm goes off. I lead a middle school girls’ youth group at my church, and I’m supposed to meet my co-leader for breakfast to discuss how things are going, but I get a text that unfortunately she woke up sick. I feel awful for my friend, but grateful to get some extra rest. I decide to snooze until 10.
10 a.m. —Up and at ‘em, but not feeling rested in the slightest. Drag myself up and have some coffee and bran cereal with blueberries. My doula texts to check in with me, and I tell her about my night of panicked tears about she baby. She sweetly says that I should have called her, and that she’d try to come by and visit with me that evening. I tell her not to worry, but that I appreciate her care and concern. Having a doula is seriously the only thing that has given me any chill about childbirth; this woman is the best. I hop into an Uber and head to Park Slope for my doctor appointment.
11 a.m. —At the doctor, I leave a urine sample. It’s comical how you get so used to peeing in a cup and giving blood blood over the course of your pregnancy. I have my blood pressure and weight recorded. Blood pressure normal, and I weigh 210 lbs. I’m not normally very concerned about what I weigh (I don’t own a scale and only get weighed at the doctor), but I have to say, hitting 200 lbs was kind of shocking for me, as was surpassing my husband’s weight. At the same time, I know that all that matters is that the baby and I are healthy, so I shake off the scale shock.
I get shown to a room and am told to strip down below my waist, because today I have to get my vagina and anus swabbed for Group B strep, which is a bacteria that’s harmless for mothers but can be very harmful to babies if it’s present at delivery. If I test positive, I’ll have to go to the hospital early on in labor so I can be given antibiotics. I’m definitely hoping to avoid that, because antibiotics suck, and I’m hoping to labor at home as long as possible.
Image: Getty Images
11:30 a.m. —Waiting, waiting. Despite the fact that I’m wearing only socks and a long-sleeve t-shirt, my room feels like it’s about 90 degrees and I am sweating. In reality, it’s probably more like 75, but at this point in pregnancy, if I’m in a space that’s heated past 60 degrees, I am basically pouring sweat. Very thankful to be super pregnant in the dead of winter and not in the humid heat of a New York City summer.
The midwife comes in, gives me my swab, and does a quick ultrasound to check the baby’s heartbeat, which is chugging away. I’m grateful that my practice does these quick ultrasounds every time. There’s nothing better than getting glimpses of my sweet baby.
Before leaving, the midwife asks about who will be joining me for labor. I answer that it will be my husband and my doula. She asks if I’m hoping to go without pain meds, and I say yes, and we discuss it a bit. She eventually says, “Well, let’s see if you can do it,” but quickly corrects herself to say, “I mean, you CAN do it.” Hell yeah, I can! …I think. Yikes.
1 p.m. —Head home for lunch, work, house cleaning, and Christmas gift ordering. I had every intention of getting all of my holiday shopping done by November this year, since I’ve been working part-time and had no excuse. Well, here I am, once again, madly ordering items at the last minute, and very likely going over budget. I have got to get better at this Christmas thing.
3 p.m. —I take a break from my laptop to open up and assemble a couple of pieces for the nursery that arrived. I open up the rug that I picked up last night, and am pleasantly surprised by how perfect it is; it’s a vibrant blue/teal color, but it’s nicely distressed so that it appears to be vintage. I open up and assemble a lamp that I ordered from Urban Outfitters, and it’s so annoyingly packed that my entire living room ends up covered in pieces of cardboard and tiny styrofoam particles that fly everywhere like electrostatic snow. This is especially annoying, because bending over is basically impossible these days, so cleaning up this mess will literally be painful.
“Since I had a miscarriage before this pregnancy, I’m pretty constantly worried that I will lose this child, and the closer I get to meeting him, the scarier it is.”
5:30 p.m. —I head out for an early dinner with my best friend. I’m really looking forward to seeing her and talking to her about the baby anxiety that I had last night, since I know she’ll make me feel better. She generously listens to me go on and on about how scared I am to lose this kid, especially now that I am so close to meeting him. She says many wise things to me, but one that stands out is: “Tara, what’s your job right now?” I reply, “To love my kid?” She nods. I realize that I have no control over how long I’ll have with my son, but I know that I can love the heck out of him and enjoy him every minute that he’s here. I head home for the night feeling infinitely calmer.
Day 3
10 a.m. —Wake up after another pretty restless night of sleep feeling crappy. Even though my anxiety has lessened, I still feel restless, and having my husband away doesn’t help—I’m just so used to having a sleep buddy. I have some coffee and breakfast. At least it snowed the night before, which is pretty and happy-making.
11 a.m. —A new friend texts and asks if I’d be up to get tea that day, and I suggest that she comes over to my place for tea that afternoon. Then, I freak out a little bit, because I remember that my living room is covered with styrofoam snow and packing supplies that I never cleaned up! I decide that there’s no time like the present to whip this apartment into shape, which I need to do anyway because I have friends coming over the next day for a mini baby shower that they’re throwing me. I pick up, wipe down, and vacuum the whole apartment, then take a shower and get dressed.
2 p.m. —My friend comes over, and it’s great to see her. We enjoy our tea with pastries that she brought, and chat the afternoon away. Eventually dinnertime rolls around, so we order food and chat some more. I appreciate having the company while my husband is away having a “babymoon” with his brother instead of with me, since I’m past the point of being able to travel. I try not to hate him when he sends me a picture of him drinking a pina colada at an outdoor bar in Key West…hey, the man works hard. He deserves it.
8 p.m. —My friend heads home and I fit in some work and reading in before heading for bed.
Day 4
8:30 a.m.—I get up, get ready, and head to my 10:30 church service in Park Slope. The service is awesome, as always; amazing teaching, incredible music, and a great community of people with lots of kids running around. It’s the best part of my week.
12:30 p.m. —Get out of church and head back to my neighborhood to meet a friend who is generously traveling from the Upper East Side to Brooklyn to have brunch with me. As much as I like to believe that I have it in me to schlep to Manhattan and back these days, in reality, walking even a few blocks is kind of a struggle.
1 p.m. —I meet up with my friend at my and my husband’s store, Regular Visitors, in Boerum Hill. We just opened the store last month, and we’re so grateful that it’s been doing well. It’s a modern general store with a coffee bar and a newsstand, and it makes me so happy to visit, browse our products, and just take in the atmosphere. I love seeing our neighbors stopping in to enjoy the store as well. While I’m there, I pick up a couple of products from our women’s accessories line, Odeme (a hair band set on an oversized brass safety pin, and a seafoam-green nail polish), for the holiday party that we’re having for the youth group tomorrow night. The girls are super-excited for the party and Secret Santa gift exchange; they absolutely light up my life.
1:30 p.m. —My friend and I head over to Building on Bond, a great little neighborhood spot, for brunch. After brunch, we head to my place so I can give her a tour; she hadn’t seen the new, bigger apartment that we moved into in preparation for baby. She heads home, and I start to prep the house for my friends to come over for the shower.
5:30 p.m. —My friends from church arrive to start setting up for the shower. They decided on a brunch-for-dinner potluck theme, so one of them brings an egg and sausage casserole, another brings a peach French toast casserole, and other ladies bring supplies for mocktails, fruit, and bacon. We have such a nice time sitting around my dining room table and chatting. They generously give me a wonderful plush book, Are You My Mother?—and of course I start to cry as soon as I look at it—and a gift certificate to a nail salon around the corner from me for a little pre-labor pampering. After we eat, we go and sit in my living room and chat, and then they take turns praying for me, the baby, the labor process and my marriage. The whole evening is just so special and sacred, and I feel so loved and cared for and grateful.
10 p.m. —They all eventually head home, and my husband arrives from the airport right as they’re walking down my stoop. I heat up leftovers for him and we relax and catch up a bit before heading to bed.
Image: StyleCaster/Getty Images
Day 5
8:30 a.m. —I get up, have breakfast and coffee, and do boring adulting things like checking e-mails, calling UPS customer service, and working on my online banking and my Mint.com account. I check in with my editor about a freelance story that’s coming up, then take a shower, get dressed, and start prepping things for my handyman, who’s coming at 1:00 to help assemble our nursery furniture.
1:00 p.m. —Make a quick lunch from things in our almost-bare fridge. Get a notification that our handyman has to reschedule because his previous job is taking too long. I’m disappointed, but glad that I have extra time today to get work and to-dos done. I use the rest of the afternoon to clean, work, and write thank-you cards to all of the generous friends and family that keep showering our lucky kid with awesome gifts.
4:00 p.m. —I take a break to chat with my husband’s sister, who had her baby boy only a couple of weeks ago. She tells me the story of her birth (woman is a rockstar!) and tells me how things have been going so far with getting into a routine with newborn Graham. Listening to her positive outlook on her birth story and first few weeks with baby is so reassuring; it really takes some of my anxiety away.
5:00 p.m. —I head out to the store to pick up cookie-baking supplies for the youth group holiday party tonight. I grab ingredients for triple ginger and salted chocolate chip cookies, plus sparkling cider, and UberPool over to one of the girls’ homes in Park Slope.
9:30 p.m. —The party was a success! We had such a fun time baking, exchanging presents, and playing games, but when it’s all over, I’m pretty worn out, and a little queasy from eating too many cookies. (Don’t tell my doula, who forbade me from eating sugar for the remainder of my pregnancy since my baby is already measuring pretty big. It’s the holidays, right?!). I arrive home and am asleep by 11 pm, which is much needed.
Day 6
7:30 a.m. —I wake up feeling much better, even though I slept as restlessly as ever. Make a mental note that early to bed and early to rise is WAY better than late to bed and late to rise. Have coffee, breakfast, and finish the last couple of thank-you cards in the huge stack that I’ve been working on.
9:30 a.m. —I get ready and head into Manhattan to meet a lovely old friend for brunch, and then head to my therapist’s office for my first appointment in four weeks. I’m so grateful to see her and empty my brain of all of the hormone-fueled craziness that’s been swirling around for a month.
1:30 p.m. —After therapy, I run into a Starbucks for a small chai latte before getting on the train back to Brooklyn. As I walk the rest of the way to the train, I realize that I have to pee AGAIN, even though it’s only been about fifteen minutes since I last used the bathroom. I remember that the Herald Square Gap has a bathroom and run in, only to be glibly told that the bathroom is no longer available. I almost start crying, because is it really that hard to just let a super-pregnant woman use your employees-only bathroom? I hold it together and hop on the train, praying that the trip goes quickly.
2:00 p.m. —Make it back to my neighborhood and dash into Regular Visitors, which happens to be right above the Bergen Street F stop, to use the bathroom. Thank the Lord. Pop in to say hi to the hubs and the RV sales team and browse around a bit, happy to see that inventory for some products is running a bit low—Christmas shopping is in full swing!
3:00 p.m. —Get home and meet the woman who’s cleaning my house this afternoon. As much as I usually try to do all of the cleaning myself, doing serious scrubbing on my hands and knees just ain’t happening these days, so I’m grateful that I’m able to pass off those duties. While the apartment gets cleaned, I work on the various stories that I have in the works—reaching out to sources, doing market research, etc.—and order even more Christmas gifts, because somehow the holiday shopping never seems to end.
“Is it really that hard to just let a super-pregnant woman use your employees-only bathroom?”
7:00 p.m. —Head out to meet a friend for dinner. We end up having an amazing heart-to-heart over a delicious dinner at Rucola [Link: http://www.rucolabrooklyn.com/%5D, one of my favorite restaurants of all time, but we don’t end up leaving until 10:30…which is pathetically the latest that I’ve been out of the house in a really long time.
12:00 a.m. —Finally head to bed.
Day 7
7:30 a.m. —Wake up early, and despite my semi-late night, I’m feeling pretty good again. I have breakfast and coffee, do the dishes, and clean out the fridge. Doing the dishes and cleaning out the fridge are so difficult that eventually I bring over a chair to sit in while I scrub the shelves in the fridge—so much bending over! I had no idea how difficult the simplest tasks could become when you’re carrying a 7 lb meatloaf in your body.
9:00 a.m. —I sit down to prep for an interview that I have with a makeup artist later this afternoon. As soon as I sit, baby boy starts wriggling around and kicking. Enjoying and observing his movements and even interacting with him by poking back when he pokes me is just the best thing that’s ever happened to me.
10:30 a.m. —I had lunch plans with one of my oldest friends (buds since 6th grade!), who is also pregnant and due six weeks after me, but she texts to tell me that she has to cancel. I’m bummed—I love hanging out with this friend and talking all things pregnancy and babies with her, since I don’t have a ton of close friends that are currently pregnant—but also relieved, because my short-ish night of sleep has caught up to me. I decide to allow myself a rare nap, telling myself that I only have about four weeks to focus on self-care before baby arrives.
12:00 p.m. —I get up and feel much better. I get dressed and head out for a Chipotle lunch and a big grocery shop at Trader Joe’s. At this stage in the game, I’m basically wearing maternity leggings and Ugg boots every day, which is not at all exciting or cute. I didn’t think I’d get to a point where putting on even maternity jeans and flat shoes would be uncomfortable, and yet…here I am. Thankful that I work from home so my co-workers don’t have to watch me descend into to total sartorial abandon.
2:30 p.m. —I arrive back home, unload the groceries, make a cup of tea, and have my interview with my lovely makeup artist friend. Then, I catch up on e-mails, my online banking, and my Mint.com account. Balk at the amount of money I’ve spent this month on furniture and other items for baby, childbirth prep, and Christmas gifts. A perfect December storm. Yikes.
4:30 p.m. —Start prepping and finish cleaning for my church Life Group, which is being held at my house tonight because our usual hosts just had a baby. Life Group is like a dinner party every week, where a group of us get together, one person or couple cooks, and we hang out, pray, and discuss world events or Bible chapters that we’ve been studying. Tonight, a couple is bringing Boeuf Bourguignon and haricots verts, and I’m making brown butter and sage mashed potatoes. Yum. We have a great time eating and chatting, but of course I start to crash around 9:30. By the time everyone leaves around 10:30, I barely have the energy to help Neil clean up before I head upstairs to head to bed.
We don't know about you, but we look stressed out if we have a drive-thru order that's particularly complicated. So we're not really sure how a birth photographer was able to capture such serene and ridiculously photogenic shots of a mom and dad during the front-seat car delivery of their newborn.
baby catching photo
baby catching photo
Also? We really hope you guys went for the optional Dupont coating on the car upholstery.
Stephanie Knowles, a birth photographer from Jacksonville, Florida, had a pretty banner day on the job recently.
Tiny Parker Strunk was born on the same day as Amalia Millepied (Natalie Portman's little girl), but lucky for us, his story is not steeped in the same stiff brew of privacy, so we and the rest of the world totally get to enjoy his car birth photo shoot.
Parker (an extreme sports devotee in the making) was not having any of that whole waiting-to-get-to-the-hospital thing. That's for boring chump babies. So he opted to try to get an unfettered view from the front seat (no doubt knowing his immediate future has him stuck in dullsville rear-facing car seats for a while).
“It all happened so fast,” Parker’s mom, Lauren Strunk, told Us Weekly. After she went into labor at home, Lauren texted their birth photographer, Stephanie — who very wisely decided to meet the family at home and trail them to the hospital just in case.
That "just in case" thinking scored the family some remarkable shots. As the couple zoomed up to the hospital, Lauren realized Parker was already on his way out — and trying to work the gear shift. Her husband, Noah, slammed the car into park, while photographer Stephanie bolted from her car just in time to catch Noah doing some serious catching of his own.
“Parker was born so fast that his dad had to literally catch him after his shoulders emerged,” the first-time birth photographer said on Facebook. “What is so powerful to me is his mother, out of instinct, grabbed [Parker] by the arm after she delivered him. She doesn't even recall doing it.”
She probably also doesn't recall looking like a Botticelli painting. What gives?
Stephanie captured the birth, vernix and all, and also caught a beautiful shot of Parker lying contentedly on his mom's chest.
new baby photo
new baby photo
“The baby was so CALM laying next to the mother, so content,” Knowles also wrote. “In the wildness of all that happened this was such a quiet moment in the car, so peaceful." Yes! Seriously! What magical vitamins cause such magazine-ready birth superpowers? We looked like half-drowned rats smeared in blood immediately postpartum. We're a little jealous of this ridiculously attractive and profoundly grounded couple. We won't lie. Our kids get drowned rat pictures; Parker gets a Guggenheim photo exhibit. Not fair.
Noah Parker van Rhyn Strunk is now home, chilling with his older brother, Harrison, and pouting because he's not allowed to get his driver's permit for at least 15 years.
There are the celebs who are all talk about their activism. And then there are the ones who are making a real difference.
Chance the Rapper, brand new multiple Grammy winner and Chicago native, has been fighting for politicians to give more funding to Chicago's schools for a long time. But since they won't do it, he will — he just announced that he's making a $1 million donation to Chicago public schools.
"This isn’t about politics. This isn’t about posturing. This is about taking care of the kids," he said during a Monday press conference at Westcott Elementary School on Chicago's south side. He also presented Westcott with an additional check for $10,000 during the presser.
We're all here for Chance's generosity, which grabbed the attention of former first lady Michelle Obama, who wrote on Twitter, "Thanks @chancetherapper for giving back to the Chicago community, which gave us so much. You are an example of the power of arts education."
Chance's donation came after he had a meeting with Illinois Governor Bruce Rauner about a bill Rauner vetoed and the $129 million deficit in Chicago schools' budgets that resulted from the veto. He was frustrated by the meeting and by a phone call with Rauner that followed over the weekend, but urged his supporters not to be disheartened after dealings with Rauner didn't go as planned.
"Chicago Public Schools and I did not lose today. Please don’t let that become the narrative. Monday morning I’ll have a plan," he tweeted.
The money for Chance's $1 million donation will come from his spring tour, which starts April 1. He's also urging other wealthy Chicagoans to donate to public schools alongside him.
Co-stars Matthew Rhys and Keri Russell may play Soviet KGB spies on The Americans, but based on their approaches to parenting, we're thinking only one of them could hack a poker-faced espionage career in real life.
Sorry, Matthew. It's not you.
Russell (formerly of angsty Felicity fame) and Welsh actor Rhys are parents to new baby Sam, born last May. Rhys chatted about life as a new dad on Live! with Kelly this Monday and revealed that he is kind of a nervous wreck, while Russell is unflappable.
“I’m the one going, ‘What about…’ and she goes, ‘Shut up it’s fine,'” Rhys said during his TV appearance. This is Rhys' first child, while Russell has two older kids from another relationship (son River, 9, and daughter Willa, 5).
Matthew Rhys video
Matthew Rhys video
The couple has been together since 2014, having met on the set of The Americans. We actually have never watched the show, but now we kind of want to just to hear the accent of a Welsh actor who's playing a Russian spy playing an American.
(Interesting side note: These days Rhys is speaking only his native tongue of Welsh to his 9-month-old son. He said, “His replies, you would think he was speaking in Welsh as well. Quite a guttural language!”)
Rhys seemed amused by his own baby panic and partner Russell's opposite, mighty chill take on all things Baby Sam. “There was a moment recently when I said, ‘He has a very heavy cold and we’ve got to take him to the doctor,'” Rhys said. “She’s like, ‘He has a cold, I’m gonna get my hair blown out.’ I go, ‘I’m gonna take him to the doctor.’ She went, ‘You take him to the doctor and when the doctor tells you he has a light cold, text me.’”
From classic bombshells like Sophia Loren to today’s stars like Angelina Jolie, the desire for full, kissable lips is nothing new. When I was 16, I was nicknamed "helia" which means "lips" in Greek. The teasing got so bad, I vowed to surgically reduce their size when I got older. It only dawned on me a decade later that the boys were actually crushing on me and that the shape of my mouth was highly sought after, but not easily duplicated.
Today, however, lips augmentation facilities in La La Land are as easy to find as a medical marijuana dispensary, making full lips simply a few needle pricks away. Meanwhile, reality stars like Kylie Jenner, selfies, social media, and the slew of CandyLipz videos of teens sucking on an apple-shaped hand-operated lip enhancement tool, are making lip augmentations extremely popular and are also increasingly appealing to those still in their formative years.
Girls as young as 14 are getting lip fillers, Dr. Kenneth Steinsapir, a board-certified cosmetic surgeon in Beverly Hills told SheKnows. And he should know: He’s enhanced approximately 8,000 lips.
“The more that celebrities admit to having lip injections and the more attention this particular procedure gets in the media, the more accessible it becomes,” added Dr. John Zannis, a North Carolina board-certified plastic surgeon.
“The danger is that the procedure is complicated. Not just anyone can do a lip augmentation,” Zannis explained.
Seemingly so. An increasing number of jobs border on botched. I even spotted the dreaded "trout pout" on a few men.
Surely, wearing labia on your face in lieu of lips isn’t viewed as sexy, but how full is too full? Are we suffering from dysmorphia? Is shelf lip the fault of the doctor, the patient, the filler, or a combination of all three?
I admit all the helia hoopla had me intrigued. I’d developed ugly vertical lines on my top lip (aka bar codes) and lost volume with age. Could I get treated without falling victim to a lip-fill crime? To help myself and others, I decided to gather as much information before undergoing a needle. I wanted subtlety because wasn’t that key?
“In practice, we want our patients to look as natural as possible,” Steinsapir shared. “We want others to notice, but no one to know that the lips were treated. Always remember that it is the injecting physician and not the product that makes the result.”
Despite our "bigger is better" society, I assumed that even if a patient were to insist on emphasis, a qualified expert would turn those requests down.
Case in point: Dr. Brent Moelleken, a Beverly Hills plastic surgeon, recalls giving a lip job to a famous female actor. When she returned for another hit, he turned her away, telling her she looked good as-is. The star ended up getting more filler administered in Paris. How did he know? He saw her flapper plastered in a tabloid where they were making fun of her faux mouth.
"I call it the Creep Effect," Moelleken said. "They go home and eventually get used to their new change and end up wanting more and more."
Image: CSA Plastock/Getty Images
Dr. who?
Just because someone is holding a syringe, it doesn’t automatically make them qualified, Steinsapir cautioned.
The first thing to contemplate are proper credentials. I searched for a board-certified plastic surgeon or at the very least a registered nurse. I definitely did not want to get these services in a salon. Be prepared to make a couple of trips just to consult with a doctor if you cannot get answers over the phone.
Another crucial criterion is experience. I wanted someone who had dedicated at least three to five years to training and learning techniques in the art of all things injectable.
Since you are asking someone to shape your face, do not automatically go for the lowest cost. Even if you land a doctor, remember that they don’t teach sculpting in medical school, Steinsapir reminded me. An injector who is a doctor and also trained in the aesthetic core — dermatology, facial plastic surgery, oculofacial surgery — is more likely to strive for facial symmetry, balancing the eyes and the nose in relation to the mouth.
“It’s all about the math. We’ve all seen the lips done that look off-balance. It just doesn’t look pretty,” Rand Rusher, a registered nurse with over 20 years of experience in all specialties relating to surgical and dermatologic medicine, told SheKnows.
Meanwhile, take a good look at the doctor and their office. Do they have an eye for detail?
When I visited Steinsapir, I noticed art in his office along with a thorough demeanor. I got the sense he was an artist or aficionado. Indeed, he was a photographer and sculptor. These talents can only help.
I ultimately chose Steinsapir because he met all the criteria of an ultimate pro. However, I felt comfortable with the others I'd interviewed and have been treated successfully before by Gessler for eye bags.
"There are a variety of fillers and each one offers unique properties and characteristics. But there is no one "best" filler that can do everything well,” said nurse practitioner Carrie Gessler of Dr. Leif Rogers' medical office in Beverly Hills.
“Our two go-to fillers are Volbella and Restylane Silk. These two fillers are FDA-approved for lip augmentation. Both are lighter for a natural look,” she noted.
Too much filler or a bad choice equates to a bumpy, overfilled appearance. An amateur may not realize that commonly used fillers do not precisely stay put. For instance, so-called “smooth” fillers tend to migrate after placement.
Before and after
It’s a digital age; examining before and after shots of other patients for symmetry and reasonability is a must, Gessler added.
And they should also take before and after shots too. “The practitioner should have you animate (smile and frown) to have an idea how you look with movement,” Gessler said.
I appreciated that Steinsapir was conservative with the syringe. He made a series of miniature injections on the border of my lip and then massaged and sculpted the filler with his fingers, taking into consideration my natural assets. My lips look fab and unless I told you, you would never know.
Here are some other things you should know before getting lip injections.
Get ready to freak out because a new Game of Thrones Season 7 teaser has dropped. It's a short clip, but it's explosive if it is implying what I think it's implying: Things are going to get wild in Westeros.
So, Huffington Post picked up a teaser distributed by Watchers on the Wall, the premiere source for all Game of Thrones-related news. HuffPo quickly lost their shit over the new teaser, as did I — an eternal Game of Thrones fangirl — when I saw the mere seconds-long teaser. It was simple. It was ominous. It was effective.
The only thing happening in the teaser was the great close-up of Oathkeeper. The sword, known for its distinctive hilt, is currently in the care of Brienne of Tarth on Game of Thrones. The teaser implies that it may be changing hands soon, as the hand grasping the sword was a bit more freckled and pudgy than Brienne's hand. While it's easy to believe that this teaser is footage taken directly from Season 7, something seems a bit off to me.
Game of Thrones Teaser S7
Game of Thrones Teaser S7
The biggest clue that I think this teaser is really just a behind-the-scene clip of a props master handling the sword is the hand holding Oathkeeper as well as the presence of a sharpening wheel, which is blurry and in the background of the shot. This feeling that we're simply seeing a prop rather than actual footage is supported by the fact that the phrase "In Production" flashes on the screen before the clip begins.
That said, there are few ideas circulating as to why Oathkeeper would play such a prominent role in the only piece of new Game of Thrones material currently circulating on the internet. While each of these few theories is viable, the teaser just doesn't seem to back them up. But, let's just throw them out there for the hell of it and see if anything sticks, shall we?
Brienne was gifted the sword by her secret best friend Jaime Lannister, the original owner of the sword, which had been forged from a sword once owned by the Starks. In Season 6, when Brienne attempted to return the sword to Jaime, he told her to keep it. My feeling is that if Oathkeeper is coming back in Season 7 and it's being shown prominently in this teaser, then Oathkeeper may find a new owner in Season 7. For Brienne, this could spell big trouble and maybe even death.
Oathkeeper is Lightbringer & that means we may know who ends up on the throne
One Reddit user pointed out that Oathkeeper could be Lightbringer, the sword used by the prophesied Azor Ahai. Now, the mythology behind Azor Ahai is intense AF, but basically, this dude upends all devious plotting currently in the works in Westeros and he is the new king. He has yet to appear on Game of Thrones and there are plenty of theories behind Azor Ahai's entrance onto the Game of Thrones stage to keep us occupied. But just know that if Oathkeeper does end up changing hands or even changing form, it could signal that a long-fabled character is about to enter the mix.
Rather than Oathkeeper literally heralding change, the sword could simply be an omen of big changes and battles that will be fought to bring about that change. Now that the sword is out of Jaime's hands and in the hands of a character who has sworn themselves to the Starks' service, we could read Oathkeeper's appearance as a sign the Lannisters are in trouble. That would certainly be backed up by reports that once Daenerys arrives in Westeros, she will team up with Jon Snow and they could battle Cersei in Season 7.
No matter which way you slice it, though, this new teaser is so tantalizing. What does it all mean? It looks like we'll have to wait to find out.
Emma Watson is kind of everywhere right now, which has led us to this unfortunate moment in our lives. We now get to read about her pubic hair grooming habits.
For Into The Gloss, Watson opened up her makeup bag and (over)shared all about every single product she uses in her life, and it's a lot to take in, but nothing is as TMI as learning that Belle oils her pubes on the regular.
"I use Fur Oil," she said. "I’ll use that anywhere from the ends of my hair to my eyebrows to my pubic hair. It’s an amazing all-purpose product."
Watson also went into all kinds of detail about every single ingredient that's in every one of her products, which got annoying real quick. Apparently, she wants everything that ever touches her body to be completely organic or all-natural or whatever. Let me just say, I once bought all-natural deodorant in a fit of desperation because the only store within walking distance of my house was a hippie co-op and it didn't do shit — I smelled like hibiscus flowers for about 33 seconds before I smelled like B.O. so.
The one thing that Watson and I do agree on is baths. She takes at least one a day, but actually shoots for two or three, which just means she's living my best life. Except Lush bath bombs are probably full of chemicals that Watson won't allow to touch her lily skin, which would simply not be OK for me. Homegirl needs to chill out and enjoy the chemical-laden finer things in life.
When my first daughter was born, we named her Dylan. And she was bald. Very bald. For a very long time. So everyone thought she was a boy. I would dress her up in pink, but everyone still thought she was a boy. I couldn't clip on a barrette or bow (because of that previously mentioned no-hair thing) and headbands just weren't her jam.
But maybe all I needed was some $9 Girlie Glue to glue a bow onto my baby's skull. (Although honestly, I was having so much trouble just trying to get out the door with my baby, her infant seat and an elephant sized diaper bag (without my nursing bra hanging out) that I'm not sure I would have had the focus to glue something onto my child.)
Apparently, there are people out there happily gluing bows and other hair accessories to their baby's bald heads. Because, as the company tagline says, "It’s never too early to be girlie!" Unless, I don't know, you don't want to be girlie or boyish. You just kind of want to be a baby.
According to the website, "Girlie Glue is an all natural accessory glue, created to stick bows onto babies' heads. Accessorizing babies and toddlers with bows has never been easier or more comfortable."
I guess this baby looks comfortable enough. But mostly it looks like she's wondering, WHAT IS ON MY HEAD?!
Girlie Glue baby head
Girlie Glue baby head
A determined baby could definitely rip off a glued-on bow. Have you ever seen how quickly a baby can undo anything? It's like they are all going to the infant gym when they are supposed to be sleeping.
And what, exactly, is in this Girlie Glue? I mean, are parents slathering rubber cement on their children's skin? The company writes, "Girlie Glue is made with agave nectar and other natural ingredients and dissolves with water so it can easily be washed off at the end of the day with a baby wipe or wet washcloth." OK, but I would like to see an actual ingredients list. I could not find one on Amazon or the Girlie Glue website.
But listen: This stuff isn't just for kids. When you're bored accessorizing your baby's head, you can get your pets involved!
One customer wrote on Amazon, "This stuff really works on my cat Pippa!"
Image: Amazon
Still feeling crafty? Girlie Glue says it can also be used to stick on fake mustaches. Because if you can't have fun putting mustaches on your infant, why did you become a parent in the first place?
And apparently, "The longer you own Girlie Glue, the more uses you will find for it!"
Before you know it, you'll be gluing goatees onto poor grandma Barbara while she sleeps. And if you do, please send us pictures. Thanks.
With spring break just around the corner and warm weather on the way, everyone’s making plans to travel to new places and to relax with family and friends. And like most travel plans, some of these will include flying. But sometimes, flying can be a real headache — pun intended.
Two of the biggest issues that people — 1 in 12 people, to be exact — can face during flights are sinus pressure and headaches, and there never seems to be a way to get around it. But luckily, that’s about to change.
At Aalborg University in Denmark, a master’s student in medicine with industrial specialization named Sebastian Bao Dinh Bui is working hard to crack the case of flight headaches. A major player in the phenomenon is cabin pressure, which fluctuates greatly during takeoff and landing, according to Bui, which “may cause tissue damage and inflammation in the sinuses. This releases the substance PGE2, which can make the blood vessels in the brain expand and thus cause head pain.”
With the rising and landing of the plane during travel, followed by rapid changes in pressure each time, PGE2 can also combine with the stress hormone known as cortisol. There are many cases of people experiencing severe anxiety or stress during flights, and that’s a condition that definitely creates the perfect bodily environment for ailments like headaches and migraines. With elevated stress levels and blood vessels contracting and expanding at will, the cycle continues with each flight and it makes the experience uncomfortable and unpleasant every time.
But now that researchers have been able to narrow down the cause of said headaches, they’re able to start searching for a cure to end this uncomfortable inconvenience. According to the students involved with this research, the migraine medication Triptans was administered to some subjects, who experienced successful results since the medicine helps to prevent blood vessels in the brain from expanding, which is a major cause of the head pressure that some people feel.
With continued testing and a step in the right direction, Bui projects that new answers and results should come about before the end of the year, with his major project beginning this spring at Aalborg Airport.
We really feel for any mom-to-be who is tired of waiting for her baby to arrive.
We also really feel for those of us who have nothing better to do than sit around and watch live-streaming video of a giraffe named April as she prepares (sloooooooowly) to give birth to a calf.
You didn't know this was a thing? What, do you have, like, a job or something? Sick parents to care for? Everyone knows April is ready to pop out a giraffe calf. Poor April's been gestating this terrifying giraffe fetus (I mean, think about it, that's a lot going on all up in there) for nearly 15 months, and some people have been losing sleep waiting for the blessed event to finally happen. We wish we were kidding.
Very, very pregnant Erin Dietrich feels a deep connection to April the giraffe — and finds it pretty hilarious that people are riveted by a live stream of a giraffe very much not giving birth. So the South Carolina mom of almost four decided to express her solidarity with April's exhausting wait by donning a giraffe mask, leggings, a sports bra and — the pièce de résistance— a lovely string of pearls. Dietrich filmed herself at the same zoo angle poor willowy April's been subjected to for weeks. For eight deeply compelling and inexplicably comical minutes, Dietrich wandered aimlessly around her pen — er, sorry, master bedroom — and did a few squats and dance moves. And lay down. THIS IS ART, PEOPLE.
The best part? (Or the scariest part, as a commentary on the internet age and its possible liquefying effect on our brains?) In just hours, Dietrich's parody of April the Giraffe's live-stream video scored 13 million views. It's now at 27 million.
Hey, remember the days when humans got bored and went out and cured smallpox and built rocket ships and stuff? No, we don't either.
If you like comparisons, BBC reports that only 20 million people have checked in with April's zoo cameras. Sad trombone for a sad giraffe.
Even sadder: Poor April's due date has passed, which is bad enough when your gestation period is nine months. Try 15 months of this crap. We watch April's live stream now like it's a suicide watch. Keep the faith, April. (You too, Erin, but we're less worried about you. You've got your sense of humor. April looks pretty damn morose.)
Tinder's really been showing its true colors lately, and we're into it. Not only did the dating app recently ban a bigoted man from swiping for life, but tomorrow, in honor of International Women’s Day, Tinder will launch a Twitter campaign to support pro-woman causes. The first 2,500 people who Tweet using the hashtag #FundHerCause will get $100 to donate to a female-centric charity of their choice.
Here's how it works: Starting tomorrow morning, March 8, at 9 a.m. ET, the app will send those who Tweet @Tinder with the cause they care about — like women's rights or education — a code to unlock a $100 donation to one of 12 pro-woman charities that were chosen in partnership with Pledgling, including Planned Parenthood, Becky's Fund, UN Women and more.
You don't have to mention which specific charity you want Tinder to give to; just tell them what matters most to you (in 140 characters or less), and you'll be able to select a charity from their list that furthers that cause.
While we're definitely grateful that apps like Tinder exist for dating hookups, we're more psyched about the charitable hookup they're providing women tomorrow — so, props to the masterminds behind this feminist campaign.
One day without a shower and thin hair goes from so-so to so greasy. And, in all honesty, the greasiness starts creeping in only a few hours post-shower. Boooooo.
2. Say hello to scalp sunburn.
Yes, it's a thing. If you have thick hair, you've likely never experienced the unholy sensation that is your scalp burning. Don't even get us started on the peeling.
Air Curler, Bumpit, Hot Buns... we've tried every gimmick on the market to give us that thick-haired look. Alas, we haven't enough hair to even hide the bumps and sock buns.
4. Every single hair product in our arsenal says some variation of "volume."
Extra body? Check. Added volume? Check. Voluminous? Check. Bedhead? Check.
5. It takes three hair ties to put hair in a bun, yet it still falls out.
Buns are a major challenge with thin hair. So it's especially annoying when, after much manipulation, you finally get a bun you're halfway happy with, only for your thin hair to slip through the hair band after an hour.
6. Speaking of buns, they're comically tiny.
I mean, like, really little. They look like ping pong balls. You know, of hair. And a messy bun? Yeah, right. Thanks for the chuckle.
7. Normal hair loss causes major anxiety.
While we realize everyone loses something like 100 hairs each day, we're 97 percent certain the amount we lose every single time we take a shower is triple that. Or perhaps the loss is merely multiplied because we know we can't afford to lose any of it.
8. Napping is a death sentence for a cute 'do.
Thin hair does not respond well to sleep. If you think you've got a cowlick, you've never seen a thin-haired girl after she rolls out of bed.
9. We have a life mantra: it's "wash the roots, condition the ends."
There is no other way. All other advice is irrelevant.
10. It's more than just a surface level problem
Almost everything can affect hair fullness — stress, nutrition, sleep, hair care products — so we're always on the hunt for simple ways to help improve it from the inside out.
11. It looks oh so good after being blown out...
But it leaves your hair feeling like straw. Heat styling is the thin-haired girl's biggest frenemy.
12. See also: Does not hold curl.
Well, it does when you use an entire can of hairspray, which is pretty much how we roll.
13. Tangles are the bane of the thin-haired girl's existence.
Seriously, how can so little hair end up so majorly matted? Going swimming leads to serious contemplation about getting a Demi Moore in G.I. Jane buzz cut.
14. All we want for Christmas is extensions.
When all our friends were asking their parents for cell phones or designer jeans for holidays, we were asking for faux hair. That'll do a number on your psyche.
15. Thick hair envy.
Rapunzel. The entire cast of Pretty Little Liars. Shakira. We love you, but we kinda hate you, too. Don't take it personally — we're just bitter about your enviably thick locks. Shave them and we'll call it even. Just joking! Sort of. OK, not really. OK, not at all.
Oh, you just rocked a big messy braid? If a rat tail and a cornrow met, fell in love and had a baby, that's what my messy braid would look like — the offspring of a rat tail and a cornrow.
17. We're legitimately concerned about female pattern baldness.
For real. We actually check for bald patches after showers. And when we pull our hair up. And always.
18. One word: static.
Static is an entirely different beast when you have thin hair. You know those orbs with electric currents you put your hand on? That's basically what thin hair with static looks like.
19. That one thing people are always saying.
"Wow, you have really thin hair!" Really? Hmm, I hadn't noticed. Thank you for pointing that out.
What if, in your next meeting with your boss, he or she recommended that you dedicate some on-the-clock hours toward sex in order to improve your work performance? According to Forbes, that's exactly what one Swedish manager did for 550 employees recently, and a new study backs up the idea that more sex at home might be exactly what you need to kill it at work.
The study, which followed 159 married employees over a two-week period, found that those who made sex a priority at home unknowingly gave themselves a next-day advantage at work. The researchers discovered that people who have active, healthy sex lives tend to like their jobs more, experience an increase in work performance, and actually be more productive.
“We make jokes about people having a ‘spring in their step,’ but it turns out this is actually a real thing and we should pay attention to it,” said Dr. Keith Leavitt, an associate professor in OSU’s College of Business and expert in organizational behavior and management.
If you look at the science, it makes sense: Sex triggers the release of dopamine, a feel-good neurotransmitter, as well as oxytocin, the so-called "cuddle hormone" that we associate with love and affection. This rush of chemicals makes sex a natural, instantaneous mood booster (in case you hadn't heard already). And its benefits extend well into the next day — whether that means the ability to concentrate on boring budget reports or the desire to bond with your boss or co-workers over watercooler chat.
Unfortunately, the researchers also found that bringing work-related stress home can negatively impact your sex life. Sure, it sounds obvious, but it's a good reminder that once you walk in the door after work, it's smart to silence your phone, set thoughts about your to-do list aside and focus on QT with your S.O. “Sex has social, emotional, and physiological benefits, and it’s important to make it a priority,” Leavitt said in a report. “Just make time for it.”
And if you find yourself feeling guilty about enjoying yourself rather than drafting that meeting agenda, remember that prioritizing sex may be just as good for your career as being glued to your laptop — or even better.
Oh, look: Ed Sheeran is back in the news for talking about Taylor Swift. Again. Is anyone besides me starting to get the vibe that Sheeran's press tour for his new album is more like the Sheeran-talks-about-Swift press tour?
Also, he's getting progressively more douchey as this tour goes on. What is with this frat bro tool image he's trying to have lately? In the latest news, like the classy guy he is, Sheeran talks about going on tour with Swift and hooking up with a whole bunch of her friends.
"Taylor's world is celebrity," Sheeran told Patrick Doyle of Rolling Stone. "I was this 22 year old awkward British kid going on tour with the biggest artist in America, who has all these famous mates. It was very easy... I would often find myself in situations waking up and looking over and being like, 'How the fuck did that happen?'"
Did anyone else roll their eyes at how incredibly skeevy that was?
Oh, and it gets worse: According to Doyle, Sheeran was drunk when he showed up to the interview.
Remember sweet ginger Ed Sheeran? The one who wrote ice love songs and posed in silly Instagram selfies with his fans? Say goodbye to that, because the Sheeran we get now sings about how a woman is only as good as her hot bod, bangs his tour mate's friends and brags about it while drunk. He went from sweet lil' cutie pie to hard pass real quick.
Then again, we did just elect a dude to the fucking presidency who bragged about sexually assaulting women, so maybe the Ed Sheeran we're getting now is exactly the Ed Sheeran we deserve.
In honor of International Women’s Day, we’re highlighting some of the most badass, boundary-breaking women we know. At the top of our list are ladies, like the five below, who have pushed the envelope to achieve major success in traditionally male-dominated fields, including technology.
The tech boom has simultaneously simplified and complicated our lives in massive ways—our smartphones insta-deliver news, entertainment, communication, food, and even dates, but basic systems like the presidential election are now vulnerable to digital hacks. Another gripe people have with a tech-fueled world is that it’s not creating the number of jobs you might expect, given how it rules our lives.
I talked to five women about the careers they’ve created in the tech space. Jobs at Tinder, Candy Crush, and other digital mainstays might not be easy to come by, but the people who do them drive our everyday experiences. And to hear them tell it, tech is becoming increasingly friendly to ambitious women who are determined to break in. Below, find out more about how they did it—and how you can, too.
"It sucks that women in the gaming world get targeted by trolls on a larger scale than men."
“I’ve always played and loved games, but didn’t think about it as something I could work with until I was around 20. I found a school focusing on game design and everything fell into place. My days can look very different, since I work with a couple of different games and a lot of different teams. In a week I can work on stories for new episodes, themes for different live events in the games, and new gameplay features. My office has a very relaxed vibe. There are definitely stressful periods, like any job, but there is a lot of playing around and fun events surrounding the industry. My biggest challenge has been, and still is, to not become my job. Working in a creative environment you constantly put yourself out there, and feel a personal attachment to the work you deliver. I’ve learned is that if I have an off day, that’s OK—and normal.
While I’m outnumbered by men in my industry, I’ve never felt underestimated by the people I work with. Where I have felt underestimated is rather in some toxic communities surrounding gaming. It sucks that some ‘dudebros’ doubt that I work in the industry, that I like games, or say I should be a ‘booth babe’ instead of a designer. It sucks that women in the gaming world get targeted by trolls and hate on the internet on a much larger scale than men who say or do the same things. It can be hard, but there’s no better way of fighting that toxicity than from inside the industry. If you’re interested in going into gaming, make sure the school you go to has an internship period—that way you’ll experience the industry and get to know people. See if there are any game dev meetups in your area and get to know people in the industry. Learn a little about everything! Make some art, try out 3D modeling, write some code or script, create some sound effects. If you don’t have the opportunity or tools to do it, then you can at least read about it.”
"It’s not as simple as ‘build a website and they will come.’"
“I first learned of virtual assistants as a result of reading a romance novel. It was a few years later before I explored it in more detail. I started as a general administrative virtual assistant and have, over time, evolved and now I only offer bookkeeping services to small businesses. Most of what I do in a day is bookkeeping related-paying team members, reconciling bank statements, preparing financials, etc. I work at home, so most days I’m in comfy clothes. The biggest challenge was getting my first client—it’s not as simple as ‘build a website and they will come.’ I often considered throwing in the towel and finding a corporate America position. My best advice, if you want to be a VA, is to get tech savvy and don’t ever quit learning! Be brave and reach out to established virtual assistants and see if they’d be willing to hire you as an intern.”
"We all need to do our part to mentor and encourage other women."
The Tinder Exec
Rosette Pambakian, 33, VP of Communications and Branding at Tinder, Los Angeles, CA
“Growing up, I always aspired to make a difference somehow. It may be cliché, but I believe creating connections across the world is making that difference. Experiencing friendship and love is so powerful, and I’m proud to work at a place where I get to help people do that. Every single day at Tinder is different. Our company and product is constantly evolving, which is what makes my job so exciting. One day I’ll be in Europe meeting with reporters, the next day I’ll be discussing branding strategy with other Tinder executives, and the next day I’ll be in the office planning product releases for the upcoming year. The tech industry can be difficult, though. People work long hours and pour their hearts into products that may not work out in the long run. Instead of letting that intimidate us, we use it to push ourselves to be our best. I often spend more time in the office than I do at my own house, so the people I work with really feel like family.
I think the tech industry is a great place for women to succeed and stand out, and the Tinder workplace is such a creative, fun environment that fosters creativity and collaboration. It’s empowering to work in a male-dominated industry and come to the table with results and ideas that are just as impactful, if not more so, than what the men are doing. The industry is evolving, and more and more women are thriving in tech, but we all need to do our part to mentor and encourage other women. If you’re looking to go into tech, my best tip is that if there’s no risk, there’s no reward. I said yes to a few huge moves in my career that propelled me to where I am today. I knew there were risks when I joined Tinder, but I also knew that there was a possibility for a great reward.”
"When you can work from anywhere, you end up working everywhere."
“I quit my job and left the UK when I was 23 on a one-way ticket to Egypt, which was when I realized I wanted to live abroad full-time and be able to travel the world whenever I wanted. I started looking for how I could work online and I came across virtual assistance, which became my source of income and passion, and led me to create a virtual assistant assistant training program. An average workday for me involves working through items that my team needs assistance with; planning and implementing projects for clients; devising new ideas for online launches and products; blogging and vlogging. For me, it’s all about the lifestyle: working online, living the dream, breaking away from the 9-to-5, being your own boss, earning more money, doing what you actually enjoy. It’s about working around your lifestyle, rather than the opposite. In any service-based industry, particularly when you have your own business, the challenge is to make plenty of time for yourself. When you can work from anywhere, you end up working everywhere, so it’s not unusual for me to check emails in the middle of the night, work on weekends, and hours just roll into other hours. You have to find the right balance.
Virtual assistance is one of the fastest-growing online industries, mainly because the demand is growing so much. I don’t think anyone, man or woman, can make you feel outnumbered or underestimated unless you allow it. It’s about focusing on yourself, developing your skills, delivering value, and having the confidence to go out there and do your best because you know you’re worth it. My best advice is to find a role model, someone who you can look at and say, I like what they’ve done, I like their lifestyle, and I want to learn from them. So many people offer online courses, training, and mentorship—myself included!—so take advantage of resources, hold your head high, and go for it. Never wait for everything to be perfect—there will never be a perfect time, place, circumstance, financial situation, family situation. There’s now, so work with it!”
"As a woman, you’re naturally outnumbered."
The Engineer
Anna N. Schlegel, 48, Senior Director, Globalization and Information at NetApp and author of Truly Global, Silicon Valley, CA
“I never set out to be in Engineering! I fell into it through different high-tech job assignments in Silicon Valley, and taking risks within these companies. I started working with Cisco in the 90s, and from there I went on to working at Xerox, VMware, and NetApp. I have been a general manager and CEO for two globalization companies. An average day at my current job entails a lot of global calls with Europe and Asia to align, evangelize, and monitor our program goals; talking to our suppliers and agencies; and reporting back to executives on progress, or escalations and wins. NetApp has repeatedly been ranked as a great place to work which is hugely important to be able to work within a respectful environment. There’s a lot of room to innovate.
High-tech engineering environments have low numbers of gender diversity. As a woman, you’re naturally outnumbered. The key is to work in groups where all participants value your opinion and prepare yourself to be part of environments where you will be the minority. Unconscious Bias trainings can help. Find out who’s leading gender diversity in your company and try to volunteer to help change with our companies. For women looking to become engineers, my advice is to learn how to present in public; communicate succinctly in writing, calls, and presentations; join forums of your craft to hear how others resolve similar issues; and find mentors and talk to them regularly.”
