Many of us grew up imagining ourselves as one of the Disney princesses, but now that we have little princes and princesses of our own, do you know which Disney mom best reflects your parenting style?
More: 40 celebrities whose baby names we want to steal
Take our quiz to see if your true mom style is more fairy godmother, evil queen or something in between.
disney mom quiz
More: 10 Disney princess movies hiding powerful messages for kids
You've no doubt heard the adage, "You can't teach an old dog new tricks," but if you have an old dog yourself — or are thinking about getting one — you'll be happy to hear that just isn't true.
I have a 10-year-old dog myself, and I'll be the first to admit that I've been pretty lax with training him. Sure he can sit (when he wants to), and sometimes he even stays for a few seconds, but that's about as far as we ever got.
It's never been an issue until recently. Now, it's no longer just me, my husband and our unruly min-pin, Max. We've added two kids to the mix, and they don't pair well with an untrained dog. He steals the food from their hands and darts out the door when they're too slow to close it. Let's just say it's not working.
So I talked to a few dog trainers to find out if I'd waited so long that all hope was lost, and I was pretty excited when they both essentially told me that it's never too late.
More: Here are 10 of the smartest dogs in the world — does your pup make the list?
In fact, dog behavior specialist and trainer, Blake Rodriguez, owner and founder of Dream Come True K9 in NYC, says training an old dog can actually be less work than training a young one.
"People want the puppy that starts from scratch, but that's a lot of work," he said. "An older dog has the potential to be easier than a puppy."
He went on to say that puppies, known to be full of energy, often need more attention and focus than most people can give.
"Puppies' energies just don't match up to training," he added.
According to Rodriguez, the biggest challenge with training an older dog is actually its loyalty — one thing dog lovers love most about canines. The problem is, dogs aren't just loyal to people; they're also loyal to habits.
"They don't know what's good or bad, they just know what works and what doesn't," he said.
That's why, when you suddenly change the rules or routines on an older dog, they take a while to come around.
"To the dog, this is something that worked. They see no reason to change it," Rodriguez added, explaining that though it may take some time and patience, your dog will likely come around to your new way of thinking.
More: Do dogs dream? And if so, what about?
Jodi Hass, owner and master trainer of Root Training in Highwood, Illinois, says one major difference between training an older dog and a young one is the reward system that works.
"Puppies want treats, and adult dogs want petting or praise when they've done well," she said. "In senior dogs, they really just want verbal acknowledgement."
That claim is backed up by a recent study published in Social Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience that found as dogs age, verbal rewards work better than treats — likely because as dogs get older, their relationship with you takes precedence over food. Turns out, you are more than a food dispenser to your dog. Kind of warms your heart, doesn't it?
Hass quickly pointed out that one big hurdle with training older dogs often comes in the form of physical limitations.
"With an older dog, we always have to find out first what the physical limitations are, and then we train to that weakness," she explained.
She said that since many older dogs have issues with backs, hips and other joints, some of the more physically challenging tricks and training exercises are off the table, but there's still plenty they can do.
More: Don't ignore your dog's bad smell — it could signal a serious health issue
Those physical limitations also play into the way you should train your dog.
"With a puppy, we train in short bursts through the day because of their short attention spans," Hass said. As the dogs get older, she extends to longer durations, but then brings it back to short bursts throughout the day for senior dogs because they tend to tire out faster.
"A puppy takes more patience," added Hass. "An older dog will not take quite as long unless there is a history of abuse or neglect."
Rodriguez is firm in his belief that old dogs are just as trainable as puppies — if not more. "The brain stays young forever," he added.
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You can't live other people's lives for them. Obvious and true, but it's a lesson you never stop relearning. It isn't easy being born under a sign that cares so much. However, everyone needs to find their own way and in their own time. It's how we learn. Meanwhile, Uranus in Aries is making you feel like there might be more to life than just punching holes in people's emotional walls and shining some light into their darkened corners. Perhaps the message of the stars this week is to stop worrying so much about others and to start living your own life for a change.
More: What show you should watch based on your astrological sign
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It's rare that you feel tempted by forbidden fruit, but you will on Nov. 4 when you pick up on some intense vibes emanating from your best friend's beau or your boss's client. He knows that you know that he's interested. This could lead to days of Sturm und Drang as you wrestle with the pros and cons. Most people would bed the guy and be over it, but you have a conscience and a heart. What does that mean for you? It looks like that forbidden fruit may remain out of reach, but rest assured that you won't be far from his thoughts.
More: What show you should watch based on your astrological sign
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You have this strange idea that if somebody likes you, there's something wrong with him. Girlfriends will say that this is a self-esteem problem, but it actually has to do with the fact that you see yourself as being brighter than most. Either you attract guys who are smarter (making them potential intellectual bullies) or guys who are dumber (which means you'll eventually lose respect for them no matter how firm their six-packs are). There is a third category, you know, which are guys who genuinely like you. This describes the person you're seeing now — that is if you're clever enough to clue in.
More: What show you should watch based on your astrological sign
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The sun/Neptune trine on Nov. 1 says that it's now or never when it comes to deciding on the future of a certain relationship. For weeks, you and your paramour have gone back and forth about whether you want to commit to each other or not. There's been a lot of talk about extenuating circumstances, past hurts and wanting to be sure about your feelings, and it's pretty much led you around in circles. Well, there's really only one way to find out if you're meant to be together, and that's by taking the plunge. Don't let this opportunity slip away like water through your fingers.
More: What show you should watch based on your astrological sign
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You say that you and your partner have insurmountable differences, yet neither of you looks like you're ready to call it quits. Maybe it's pride that keeps forcing you to lock horns, or maybe you each have a competitive streak. In any case, you'll frustrate as much as bedevil one another, and believe it or not, this could be the secret to your relationship. Too many relationships fall apart because there's no underlying need to be together. Your need to get the last word in edgewise may not seem very romantic, but it will keep the fire going long after other romances have cooled.
More: What show you should watch based on your astrological sign
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You're not officially looking, but it will still feel nice to experience that spark on Nov. 4. This is when your BFF introduces you to a buddy, cousin or colleague. It's not really supposed to be romantic, but you and this fellow will sense the rapport immediately. Maybe it's the quirky view of the world you share, the interests you have in common or the fact that you're both so swift on the uptake. In any case, it doesn't look like either of you is free to pursue matters further, but exchange numbers anyway because you never know when things might change.
More: What show you should watch based on your astrological sign
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A strange loneliness seems to follow you wherever you go nowadays. And it's not like you're bereft of loved ones and friends. If anything, they're more in your life (and in your face) than ever. No, what really tugs at you is this feeling that you don't seem to belong anywhere. This leaves you yearning for someone to come into your life and rock your world. That could very well happen over the next couple of weeks; however, there still has to be a "you" in the equation or you could be swept up in a drama that's all show and no story.
More: What show you should watch based on your astrological sign
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An extraordinary sun/Neptune trine on Nov. 1 says that it's time for a fresh start. This could inspire you to tear up that old scorecard, to turn over a new leaf or pack your things up in the back of the van and move across the country with him. Everyone is guilty of focusing more on the grudges than on the gifts that come with a relationship, which is why the current wave of watery energy rolling through your horoscope is both timely and replenishing. This promises to wipe the slate clean and allow you and your lover or spouse to begin again.
More: What show you should watch based on your astrological sign
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It's hard being a Sagittarius because you believe that the life you're supposed to be living is happening somewhere else. It's why you dream of long journeys, spiritual pilgrimages and exotic destinations. Wanderlust is great, but it can also lead you to overlook the love that stands just outside your door. It's something that you will want to keep in mind when Venus forms a trine to Uranus on Nov. 4. He may not speak another language or have a billion stamps on his passport, but that doesn't mean he won't want to hold hands with you while you watch the Travel Channel together.
More: What show you should watch based on your astrological sign
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You like being part of a power couple. You work just as hard for his career as you do for your own. You're proud of his accomplishments and know that you play an invaluable role in his success. Lately, he's gotten a lot of praise and attention. You know that he appreciates all that you do, but he doesn't really show it. In fact, you kind of feel taken for granted. Don't feel ashamed about bringing this up this week. Not only will it keep a nonissue a nonissue, it will also be fun thinking up new ways for him to express his gratitude.
More: What show you should watch based on your astrological sign
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Aquarians are attracted to people's minds. People born under other zodiac signs may be drawn to bodies, souls or passions, but for you, an engaging conversation that challenges you to dig deep into your knowledge and curiosity will always win out. This is something you always assumed was harmless, but on Nov. 4, you'll find yourself the target of envy and enmity when your special friend's girlfriend or wife tries to put the kibosh on your friendship. It's distressing, but consider laying low for awhile until she gets over herself. You really do care about him and don't want to cause any unnecessary trouble.
More: What show you should watch based on your astrological sign
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You're capturing the attention of a higher-up this week thanks to Venus arcing over your solar midheaven, but make sure that it's the right kind of attention. You have an ability to make an impression that carries a long-lasting ripple effect. This enchants people and makes them want to get to know you better. It's great if you want to get to know them too, but awkward if you don't share the same feelings. If that's the case, look for a way to diffuse a budding attraction on Nov. 4 before things go too far or you could find yourself out of your depth.
Ever since Kate Middleton's sister, Pippa Middleton, announced her engagement to hedge-fund manager, James Matthews, the rumors have been running wild about Kate's reaction to the event.
For one, some reports claim that Kate is out to sabotage Pippa's big day in revenge for Pippa making headlines for being so darn gorgeous when Kate married Prince William.
The suggestion that Kate would stoop so low is, quite frankly, ridiculous — but the gossip mill started churning this theory out even harder after recent whispers that Kate won't be part of the wedding party in Pippa's effort to thwart the Duchess of Cambridge's attempts at ruining her wedding.
More: Pippa Middleton has had it with everyone labeling her a 'party girl'
As it turns out, it's starting to look like Kate really isn't going to be a bridesmaid as her sister ties the knot, but one royal expert says it's for good reason.
"Kate would upstage her sister," says veteran royals correspondent Judy Wade, via People magazine. "It’s a tricky situation for Pippa. She would want her sister by her side, as who else would she trust to make things go well? But if your sister is a future Queen, she is going to upstage the bride and draw attention. Kate would want to be in the background as much as possible."
More: Details behind Prince Harry & Pippa Middleton's romance are scandalous
Now this theory makes so much more sense. Instead of trying to sabotage the wedding, Kate is trying to make the day all about Pippa — not her own family. As People points out, it's exactly what Princess Diana did when Sarah Ferguson married Prince Andrew back in 1986.
Before you go, check out our slideshow below.
There's nothing better than a day at the spa with your girls, but booking a spa can be hard on your wallet. Make it super easy (and less expensive) by creating the ultimate spa day for your BFFs right in the comfort of your own home.
And what's a spa day without an adult beverage, right? Mimosas are perfect for any time of the day. Make a batch to serve, and try swapping your regular OJ with a low-acid orange juice for a spa-worthy cocktail that goes down a little more smoothly.
Gather your favorite products, call your best girls, and enjoy a day designed for relaxing.
This post was sponsored by Simply Beverages.
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We didn't see this coming, but it turns out Zayn Malik had some really good reasons behind leaving One Direction — and it goes far beyond stress and creative differences.
In passages from his upcoming autobiography Zayn obtained by The Sun, Malik reveals that he was suffering from a serious eating disorder that was actually a danger to his health while he was traveling and performing with his former bandmates before their split in March 2015.
More: Law & Order creator is so over solving crimes — he's more interested in Zayn Malik
"When I look back at images of myself from around November 2014, before the final tour, I can see how ill I was," Malik writes in his book. "Something I’ve never talked about in public before, but which I have come to terms with since leaving the band, is that I was suffering from an eating disorder."
Even more heartbreaking is what triggered Malik's disorder — it wasn't appearance, but a deep feeling that he wasn't in control of anything in his life.
"I didn’t feel like I had control over anything else in my life, but food was something I could control, so I did," he writes. "I had lost so much weight I had become ill. The workload and the pace of life on the road put together with the pressures and strains of everything going on within the band had badly affected my eating habits.
"It wasn’t as though I had any concerns about my weight or anything like that, I’d just go for days — sometimes two or three days straight — without eating anything at all. It got quite serious, although at the time I didn’t recognize it for what it was."
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We so often joke about popstars — and how they like to tantrum about ridiculous things — that it's easy to forget they are usually just very young people, trying to come into their own. It sounds crazy, but Malik opening up about his stuggle with an eating disorder almost makes us feel a little more sympathetic when it comes to Justin Bieber's outlandish behavior. Maybe next time we're quick to judge Bieber for his actions, will remember Malik's words about his own suffering while in the public eye.
Zayn will be available for purchase on Nov. 1 here.
Before you go, check out our slideshow below.
Drinking a delicious mulled wine is about as festive as the holiday season gets. Nothing screams "Christmas" like carols and a spiced warm beverage — but let's be real; the price tag on those little mulling spice tins in gourmet shops can leave you with some serious sticker shock.
The good news is, the same mulling spices can easily be made at home, and you probably already have most of the ingredients in your pantry.
Allspice and cloves give mulled cider and wine that lovely, warming aspect — and when they're combined with cinnamon, citrus peel and ginger, the result is nothing short of magic.
More: Beer-roasted pork and more cozy fall recipes that feel like a warm sweater
Serves 8 to 10
Before you go, check out our slideshow below.
I started having the flashbacks just hours after my first child was born. I hadn’t slept in days and was so relieved that the fear, pain and tension of my surprise 37-week induction was behind me that I should have passed right out like my husband dozing on the hospital cot next to me. But I couldn’t sleep because I kept reliving the experience, from that first horrifying cervical check to the vomiting and fever to the realization that my epidural hadn’t taken that well to watching my husband cry from the stress of seeing me in so much pain.
The flashbacks didn’t stop after I left the hospital, either. For months, it seemed like I couldn’t get to sleep until I had successfully relived every single stop along the five-day journey from my hospital admittance to getting discharged from the hospital.
My experience (while anecdotal) made me nod in recognition when I saw the American Society of Anesthesiologists' recently released preliminary research that for some women, epidural anesthesia may reduce the likelihood of postpartum depression.
More: 10 things you should know about getting your first epidural
In the study, researchers reviewed the medical records of 201 women who had epidurals and assessed their pain during labor. Researchers found that the higher the “improvement in pain” scores, the lower the women’s risk of depression six weeks after childbirth.
“Labor pain matters more than just for the birth experience. It may be psychologically harmful for some women and play a significant role in the development of postpartum depression,” says Dr. Grace Lim, director of obstetric anesthesiology at Magee-Womens Hospital of the University of Pittsburgh Medical Center and lead investigator on the study. However, more research needs to be done to determine which women are more likely to experience severe labor pain and who would most benefit from pain-control strategies to reduce the impact of pain on postpartum recovery.
All I can say is that with my second child, while experience and a “broken-in” body helped, so did better pain control — unlike with my first epidural, the second time, I couldn’t tell at all when I was undergoing contractions (which is not a complaint). All I know is that my second delivery engendered a lot less fear, a lot less pain and no flashbacks whatsoever.
Obviously, everyone’s childbirth journey is different and no one should ever be shamed for her choices when it comes to labor and delivery. Epidural or unmedicated, no childbirth process is a walk in the park. However, this new study may show what many women already know — that the effects of childbirth, especially the pain and fear, linger long after the child has been born. Mitigating those effects isn’t necessarily just about pain relief in the moment, but down the line as well.
More: Yes, I had an epidural. No, my childbirth wasn't pain-free
Kim Kardashian West clearly still isn't over her terrifying ordeal in Paris.
More: Yes, people seriously think Kim Kardashian West would stage her own robbery
It's been nearly a month since the social media star was bound, gagged and robbed at her Paris apartment, and she still hasn't returned to her normal self. Kardashian West has hardly been seen out in public since it happened, and she's been pretty much silent on social media.
In fact, on Monday night, she seemed to be returning to her old ways. She made a few pretty innocuous posts on Facebook — two posts linking to articles on her website, one with old family Halloween photos one with last-minute costume ideas and one of her famed selfies featuring her LuMee lighted phone case.
More: Kim Kardashian West may not attend an event honoring her late father
But within a few hours, Kardashian West had deleted all the posts and retreated once again into complete social media silence. Considering how much of her empire has been built on dominating social media, it's concerning, to say the least, that she doesn't seem interested at all in returning to the public life she lived before her robbery.
On the other hand, though, who can blame her? It sounded like a truly terrifying ordeal, and Kardashian West needs to take her time and heal in her own way, even if that means building a completely over-the-top panic room in her gated community mansion.
We never thought we'd say this, but we miss Kim on social media. Here's hoping she's able to heal and return to being her old self again.
More: Khloé Kardashian says Kim's robbery served as a major wakeup for the family
Before you go, check out our slideshow below.
Netflix is very aware of the love for Stranger Things' Barb, and they made sure that she got her fair share of Halloween love.
WARNING: Spoilers ahead for Season 1 of Stranger Things! Do not continue reading unless you are prepared to re-live some of the best and most tragic moments from the show.
More: Finally there's proof Stranger Things' Steve is actually Jean-Ralphio's dad
The show released a trailer dedicated to the missing Barb. In a news report from Hawkins, Indiana — the setting from Stranger Things — reporter Brenda Wood recounts Barb's harrowing disappearance.
"[She’s] the kind of girl who notices if you’re wearing a new bra and can really rock a pair of mom jeans. Or as we call them now, jeans," Wood said describing the teen.
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Fans also paid homage to Barb, who met her tragic end in the Upside Down, on Halloween with some rocking costumes.
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More: 27 moments in Stranger Things that gave us major '80s flashbacks
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JK! This is actress Shannon Purser who played Barb in her vampire Halloween costume last night.
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All the hubbub around Barb just makes me wonder if she will somehow be incorporated into Season 2 of the show. After all, "stranger things" have happened in this series.
More: The Stranger Things kids saved the 2016 Emmys with their nonstop coolness
Before you go, check out our slideshow below.
When I asked parents what their No. 1 tip for holiday travel with kids was, the most common answer by far was “don’t.” But for parents who don’t have the luxury of staying home between Thanksgiving and New Years, there are some surprisingly low-fi but ingenious ways of getting through your family journey.
Hosting Thanksgiving can be a ton of fun, but it can also come with a lot of stress. Particularly when you get to the store and realize that chestnut and Gruyère stuffing you had your heart set on is actually going to cost more than your monthly internet bill.
Thankfully (pun intended), hosting a Thanksgiving feast doesn't have to be expensive. In 2015, the average cost for the whole shebang came out to about $69 for 10 people. If that doesn't seem possible to you, take heart — these tips will help you keep the budget for your Thanksgiving meal in check so you can spend more time enjoying your dinner and less time manically refreshing your banking app to make sure you'll have money for coffee when you go back to work on Monday.
1. Prioritize
Figure out which dishes are most important to you, and spend your money there. Passionate about getting a pricey organic, free-range turkey? Serve cheap side dishes, like mashed potatoes, candied yams and rolls. Likewise, if turkey's not really your thing, consider getting a smaller, cheaper bird or even just turkey breast, and then go all out with your sides.
And don't forget alcohol, which can get pricey. If you don't know cabernet from Pouilly-Fuissé, you may as well get boxed wine and decant it before your guests arrive. But if wine is your passion, spring for the good stuff while scaling back on the rest of your meal.
2. Comparison shop the easy way
You know that wrinkled bundle of grocery store circulars you immediately throw in the recycling bin every week? Now's the time to start getting familiar with them. Different stores will have different Thanksgiving items on sale, and it's worth shopping around for the deals.
If you hate sorting through all that paper, there's an app for that. Check out Flipp, which gathers all the local store circulars for you on your phone and lets your search for specific items and build your shopping list all in one place. You can link your loyalty cards to automatically add the savings — which means you don't have to carry around a bunch of coupons with you.
Figure out which of your local stores has the best deal on turkey. Some stores give you a free turkey when you spend a certain amount of money, while others have two-for-one deals, which can be helpful for larger gatherings.
More: 22 turkey recipes to suit any taste this Thanksgiving
3. Know what to DIY and what to buy
We got the grocery shopping-insider scoop from savings expert Lisa Lee Freeman. She tells us markups on pre-cut veggies can be up to 300 percent or more. The worst offenders are chopped onions, kale and green beans. But she says broccoli florets and Brussels sprouts are worth it "because they cut out the stuff you don't want anyway, such as stems."
She also recommends skipping the salad dressing and making your own. "Just mix together one-half cup balsamic vinegar, one teaspoon Dijon mustard, one clove chopped garlic, salt, pepper and two-thirds cup olive oil." Shake it all up in a jam jar to make it extra-easy.
Another tip from Freeman: "In the weeks before Thanksgiving, start stocking up during the evening shops. Odds are, you'll find markdowns on baked goods, meats and other perishables later in the day. All of these items will last weeks in the freezer." Sneaky!
5. Host a potluck
If you're on a tight budget, consider hosting a potluck. Most people want to help out by bringing something to Thanksgiving dinner anyway, so take them up on their offer this year.
And don't forget, you can ask people to help out with something other than elaborate side dishes — if they're not much of a cook, they can help with the alcohol, pick up some pie from a bakery or grab a pack of heat-and-eat rolls from the store.
6. Do your research
Plan ahead. Choose your recipes a few weeks before Thanksgiving so you can figure out exactly which ingredients you'll need. Going to the store with only the vague idea that you need "stuff for Thanksgiving" will definitely result in you spending money on things you don't need while missing other ingredients entirely and having to make an additional trip to the store.
You can also save money by researching your wine ahead of time. Rather than arriving at the wine shop nervous and flustered, which will leave you vulnerable to the upselling of pushy employees, take a look at these wines under $20. Go to the store with a list, and you'll know exactly what you're getting.
More: 21 slow cooker recipes for the easiest Thanksgiving dinner ever
7. Eat your leftovers
Don't let you leftovers go to waste! You'll be paying the same amount up front for your groceries, but making sure you gobble up every last morsel of your meal will ensure it was money well spent — you won't need to buy food for the days following your feast. Not sure how to put your leftovers to good use? Check these out, to start.
8. Buy in bulk
You won't want to buy everything in bulk (no one needs 10 turkeys), but if you're purchasing items for your Thanksgiving meal that you usually have on hand anyway, you might as well buy in bulk to save some money in the long run. For instance, paper towels, chicken or turkey stock, bags of potatoes and onions or extra toilet paper for your guests can all be bought in bulk. You'll end up using all of it, even if it's not on the day of your meal.
Also keep an eye out for deals on wine. Many stores have bulk discounts when you buy six bottles or a full case, so keep that in mind when you go shopping.
9. Skip the streamers
No one goes to Thanksgiving dinner for the decorations. You can save a ton of money by skipping them all together, but if you want to spruce things up a little bit, look to nature. Pine boughs, dried grasses, pinecones, colorful leaves — all make for eye-catching decor that costs nothing.
10. Turn down the temp
With the oven running all day and a house full of guests, chances are you can turn down the thermostat. It seems small, but every penny counts, and you could save on your heating bill.
More: 15 gorgeous Thanksgiving table ideas that are easy to DIY
Día de Muertos (November 1 and 2), or "Day of the Dead" as you may know it, is a Latin-American holiday that remembers the dead by celebrating life. You've probably seen some of the traditional imagery, like the ever-popular sugar skulls that seem to be everywhere this time of year.
Many Latin-American families prepare altars in their homes to honor their deceased loved ones, and they fill the shrines with skull decor, marigold flowers, candles, favorite foods of the departed and drinks. There is even a special type of bread made for the day called pan de muerto, or bread of the dead.
It's a holiday that brings the living and the dead together to celebrate the memories of loved ones through art and cooking. And just looking through Instagram snaps of everyone's celebrations is giving us major #inspo for throwing our own Día de Muertos feasts.
More: Dia de Muertos: A day of remembrance and celebration
See some of the beautiful altars and foods from Day of the Dead.
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These bright and festive altars are brightening up our chilly fall.
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We love the use of colorful florals in this shrine.
More: Celebrate Day of the Dead with everything from pumpkin mole to sugar skulls
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Bread of the dead and Mexican Coke (naturally) become the ofrenda, gifts of food and flowers that pay tribute to the deceased.
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These cookies in the shape of a marigold, pan de muerto and sugar skull are almost too cute to eat!
More: Use up leftover candy to make this Halloween cookie candy pizza
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These overflowing shrines are filled with all kinds of festive treats that are traditionally supposed to be enjoyed by both the living and the dead.
Here's even more sugar skull inspiration from Muy Bueno.
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On a recent idyllic late-summer afternoon, my wife and I took our 2-year-old Declan to a nearby festival. As my cherubic curly-haired son entertained himself with glitter, paper and markers at an arts and crafts station, I scrolled through my Twitter feed — only to find it full of vicious anti-Semitic invective.
I am Jewish, as is my family, and because the world can be an awful place, this has caused me problems as of late, in part because I’ve been writing a lot about Donald Trump, who may have a Jewish daughter, but is also a huge favorite among people who hate Jews. I recently wrote an article that criticized the 1993 film Falling Down on political as well as aesthetic grounds, and found myself the subject of a whole lot of anti-Semitic criticism from people apoplectic because they thought I was attacking white people in general. It did not seem to matter to these Falling Down-loving anti-Semites that they were defending a film starring and directed by Jews, but who ever said hatred had to be logical?
Earlier that day, before my Twitter timeline began filling up with Nazi imagery and vicious slurs, I made the mistake of writing a tweet reading “Hey anti-Semites! Most Jews are proud of their faith, so calling them “Jews” really isn’t a very effective insult,” although I later deleted it because I got tired of being called an oven-dodging faggot Jew piece of shit, and I really did not want this hatred to spill over onto my family.
More: A Jewish mother's Christmas memories
I spend way too much time engaging with hatemongers and bigots online, and there was part of me that thought that deleting the tweet was tantamount to giving in or giving up or letting bigots win. Yet, reading the hateful things that anti-Semites wrote really darkened my mood and threatened to ruin a lovely evening. I blocked and deleted as much as I could until my timeline was finally purged of all poorly written wishes that my family die horrible deaths for being Jews.
Starting a Tweet “Hey anti-Semites” is like saying to the world, “Hey hateful bullies! Gather round, I have something to say that will enrage you!” I deleted the tweets and blocked the anti-Semites, sending them (at least one of whom has been retweeted by Donald Trump) away as quickly as possible. But still, I was struck by the strange position I was in.
In the ugly virtual world of Twitter, I was fighting off a rash of vicious anti-Semites, many employing Nazi imagery and rhetoric. In real life, meanwhile, I was beaming with pride as I watched my beautiful Jewish son enjoy a perfect summer evening while the sounds of a David Bowie tribute band could be heard in the distance.
This juxtaposition made me think about the moment in the not-too-distant future when I would have to explain the nature and tragic resilience of anti-Semitism to my blissfully oblivious boy, who knows only kindness and acceptance and love, and not the sometimes-inconceivable cruelty of humanity.
I will have to have the Holocaust talk with my son the same way my single father had it with me when I was about 4 or 5. I suspect every Jewish child remembers the Holocaust talk and the profound impact it had on their psyche and their understanding of the world. I remember being surprised and overwhelmed and deeply shaken. I could barely comprehend the hatred that would make someone want to kill everybody in the world who was born like me, a Jew in a world where that has sometimes been a death sentence.
After that talk, I could never forget, even for a moment, that there are people in the world who would hate me and my family and people like me, not because of anything that we did, but because of who we are, because of the blood running through our veins and the traditions of our ancestors.
For Jews, “the talk” invariably revolves around anti-Semitism and the Holocaust, but every religion and culture has their own form of evil to confront. These days, my heart goes out to Muslim parents who have to explain to their children why the screaming crazy orange man on the television keeps saying such horrible things about them and wants to keep people from being able to immigrate solely because of the God they pray to.
But it goes beyond that. Every parent must help their child understand the nature and incredible power of evil in our world so they will be both able to fight it and able to defend themselves against it. And while there’s part of me that wants to shield Declan from these people and these ideas, I know we have to remain vigilant at all times because the hatred and fear and anti-Semitism that fueled the Holocaust never really went away. It has just taken different forms, some of which I encountered in my Twitter feed that strange early evening.
More: Teach your child about other religions
The world my son will grow up in is different than mine. Facebook and Twitter make it possible for people to berate, threaten and bully strangers in ways unimaginable to previous generations, and to do so behind a mask of anonymity. That alone seems like a good reason to keep him off social media for as long as possible, but if we as parents don’t teach our boy about evil and anti-Semitism and the Holocaust in as gentle and sensitive a manner as possible, then there is a good chance that he’ll learn about it in a more bracing and traumatic way.
Anti-Semitism and hatred and bigotry have changed considerably since I was a boy. These days, it tends to happen online more than IRL, so when my wife and I talk to Declan, our conversation will be informed by the changing nature of hatred, particularly as it relates to technology. So we will tell Declan to watch out for anti-Semitism in its ever-changing, ever-mutating forms. And I will instill in him a lesson my father never instilled in me for understandable reasons: Never be afraid to unfriend and block. Sometimes that’s the key to remaining sane in a world overflowing with hatred and craziness.
Last week I was helping my four-year-old daughter get dressed for school. Maybe helping is a glossy generalization. We were waging war.
More: I'm a 42-year-old who shops in the juniors' section and I get body shamed
I’m sure you’re familiar with that inevitable daily battle over whether or not it is appropriate to wear a swimsuit 24/7 or shorts in subzero temperatures. On this particular day, she was suspiciously docile. We’d already shimmied into her typical fashion fodder of anything with a skirt.
My daughter shares my preference for dresses and twirly skirts. We like fabric that hangs loosely and leaves us free to move, patterns and colors that swirl and communicate our energy with every step. Pretty much anything with a waist leaves us feeling constricted and bloated, as if we’ve been tethered to our clothing.
Even in winter, it’s dresses all day, all the time. Dresses with leggings and boots, dresses with bare legs and sandals but above all, dresses. Pretty and forgiving and every inch our style.
That morning, she’d chosen a dress with a white lace bodice, no sleeves, and a full, pleated skirt in carnation pink. But then she began to pull on leggings underneath. Brown ones edged in pink lace.
“It’s going to be pretty warm today,” I reminded her, puzzled. “You don’t need to wear leggings.”
“I want to, Mama,” she said softly. “I don’t want anyone to see my underwear.”
I paused. This was new, and I wondered where it had come from. She’d never been embarrassed about revealing anything, never spent a minute of hesitation over being modest. My red flags started waving wildly.
“Why are you worried about that?”
The story came tumbling out in fragments, bits and pieces that fell together. A boy at school had cornered her in a secluded part of the playground. He’d tried to lift her dress to expose her underwear. She’d held firmly to her skirt and refused to budge until he lost interest in teasing her and walked away. But now she was afraid.
My vibrant, brilliant, aggressive, little tornado of a girl whose stubborn demands imposed her will on everyone in her life. She was afraid of being exposed and embarrassed. I was furious.
But not for the reason you might think. I was angry because we all have experiences like this one. Every single woman I know. Experiences that teach us that our bodies are a source of shame.
Boys standing behind us in line, pinching shoulders to check for the tell-tale snap of a bra strap. Schools policing the length of our skirts and shorts, churches imposing rules about modesty and virginity that seek to shame us into compliance.
I knew my daughter would be exposed to this eventually because every woman is. I just didn’t want her to have the heavy weight of public judgement descend so soon.
“Don’t wear leggings,” I said firmly. “You wear what you want. You love dresses. If that boy is going to act inappropriately, that’s his problem. Not yours. Don’t let him take that away from you.”
She looked at me skeptically. And I could see the thought some of you are probably having right now. Isn’t it easier to just wear the leggings? It solves the problem doesn’t it?
No. No, it doesn’t. The problem isn’t my daughter who loves to wear dresses. The problem isn’t even the boy who teases and torments. That boy has simply learned from someone, somewhere that embarrassment and shame can be weapons of power.
The problem is, in fact, us. All of us. We waste so much energy trying to ensure nobody dances outside the lines of propriety. We’re all guilty of throwing the weight of that heavy judgment around and allowing it to squash the confidence of our children. Especially our daughters.
More: I'm a competitive athlete and even I get body shamed
My husband made a comment recently about a woman wearing something inappropriate at a restaurant. My ten-year old son overheard and I could see the wheels turning, the light sparking behind his eyes. He was taking notes, marking for future reference the complex maze of rules that we impose on each other for acceptance. He was studying the language of societal shame. I shook my head in response to my husband’s comment and responded a touch louder than usual.
“I’m glad she feels comfortable wearing that. She’s just enjoying her body and wearing something she loves. There’s nothing wrong with that.”
But I recognize that this is a battle I will have to wage over and over again. Not just with others but also within myself. Even though women are most frequently the victims of shaming, we are also often on the front lines of enforcing rules about modesty. We’ve internalized this dialogue about embarrassment over our own bodies to such an extent that we no longer recognize its source.
We fail to see that our attitude is only one step removed from the biblical judgement of Eve, discovered naked in the Garden of Eden and shamed as the culprit of a plot to tempt man into sin. It’s archaic and offensive. And it makes me sad. We have to face so many struggles as women. Why can’t we just support each other?
I was in the Costco parking lot this past weekend, unloading groceries into the back of my car. I was wearing a dress, and so was my daughter. We’d chosen matching floral patterns with bright colors and lots of flouncy ruffles.
An older woman approached me, and I turned towards her pleasantly, assuming she might be looking to grab my cart before going into the store. Her tween daughter was at her elbow, waiting patiently.
“That’s a pretty dress, honey,” she said, her voice hoarse and rushed. “But you really shouldn’t wear it in public. Much too short.”
I was stunned. I stood there, a forty-year-old feminist blinking in the sunshine, flooded with embarrassment. The woman had already hustled away, as if she’d dropped her grenade into my lap and didn’t want to be caught in the explosion. I glanced at the back seat, where my daughter was belted in, thankfully oblivious to the interaction. I shouted after the woman’s retreating back.
“You have a nice day, too!”
I was shaking, livid with anger. Because that woman had tried to shame me, tried to shift the judgment from her shoulders onto my own. But her shame doesn’t belong to me. I was angry that for even a moment, I had felt the hot wash of embarrassment.
Society has been trying to hand that burden of modesty to me for decades, insisting the lines of my body are a source of public domain. But my body is my own and I won’t let you take it from me. I’ll wear my short, flouncy skirts and throw my middle finger back at any judgement I get for it.
I want my daughter to see she’s so much more than the length of her skirt. Her body is her own. To enjoy and yes, even to flaunt if she chooses. And I won’t allow anyone to tell her to cover it up in a mantle of modesty. That burden of shame was never ours to bear.
Our bodies were designed for the pleasure of living and loving. I’m not embarrassed to own up to every inch of mine and I’m going to do everything in my power to ensure my daughter feels exactly the same way.
Part of what makes Alec and Hilaria Baldwin's marriage and parenting skills work is their differences. Though at one time, Alec might have been opposed to the patient, gentle, kid-centric way Hilaria looks at being a mom, he's open to the approach nowadays — and he knows when to take a backseat. "You know what our house is? It's one long, endless psychotherapy lesson in Spanish," Alec joked in a new interview in Elle Decor published today. "I'll go out to work and the whole time my wife is psychoanalyzing our children: 'But why do you feel this way? Why?'"
And though he may be lighthearted about it, Hilaria doesn't deny that she's all about taking the time to let her children have the room to express their feelings. "Well, you do it your way, I'll do it my way, and we'll see how they turn out!" she told him. "Kidding. I just feel like kids learn by example, and if you want to teach your kid to be kind, you can't be mean at them."
By acknowledging their contrasting methods, they can play off each other instead of competing — and it's clear they value each other's opinions, rather than being convinced that their way is the best way. "Do you think I'm too 'Namaste'?" Hilaria asked Alec during the interview. His response was golden (and perfectly diplomatic): "No, I think you're very patient," he said.
Alex and Hilaria Halloween 1
The pair, who are 26 years apart in age — Alec is 58 to Hilaria's 32 — know that their age gap affects the way they see things. They're also from totally different cultures: Hilaria spent much of her childhood in Spain, and Baldwin grew up near New York City and hasn't strayed far from there since. (Plus, you know, he's super-famous.) "It's a generational thing," Alec said. "I'm a lot older, and when I grew up there was none of this bargaining and negotiating you do with kids now. Making them understand. My father was like 'Oh, I'll make you understand!' My mother used to hit us with a curtain rod, you know, people used to hit their kids with kitchen utensils. But [Hilaria] is the best mommy, she respects them, she honors them."
Hilaria Baldwin taking kids to school
And so does Alec, who has become more grounded and focused on family since he met Hilaria in 2011, Elle Decor reports. When the topic of conversation veers toward social media — and the trolls that come with it — Alec noted that lashing out is no longer worth it to him. "Getting angry doesn't solve anything," he said. These days, if a hater has something mean to say about Hilaria, who is very active on Instagram, she writes that angry response, shows it to Alec or someone else, and deletes it. "If you get angry, they win," Alec said.
Hilaria Baldwin: Leo 1 month old
At the end of the day, Alec lets Hilaria rule the roost, which contributes to the harmony of their parenting techniques — and their marriage. "He realizes that I'm there with the kids the majority of the day, and he's very, very good at letting me be the alpha," Hilaria said. "Well, I've just never been spoken to the way you speak to me sometimes," Alec replied. "It's really just incredible."
Justin Theroux posted an Instagram pic that seems to not-so-subtly throw some major shade at Brad Pitt, and the internet definitely noticed.
More: A timeline of Brangelina's divorce: Why did Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie split?
Theroux's photo shows the image of a woman biting her middle finger against a background that hates on a bunch of things in the world with the F-word preceding them all. Politics, haters, the NSA, cocaine and Facebook are all among the targets. Oh, yeah, and Brad Pitt.
In big pink letters next the girl's head, the wall reads, "Fuck Brad Pitt."
Justin Theroux instagram photo
Since Theroux is married to Jennifer Aniston, Pitt's ex-wife, the assumption was immediately that this post had deeper meaning.
More: Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux rumored to have had a secret wedding
The backlash was so immediate, in fact, that Theroux felt the need to comment.
"And NO this post is NOT ‘shading’ anyone because I’m not 11-years-old,” he said in a hashtag in the caption of the post. “I mean, seriously.”
Rather, Theroux said he meant the photo as a comment on his "current election mood," but he should have known that with his wife's ex-husband's name so prominently displayed in the photo that he was going to cause a bit of a stir.
Despite the backlash and the internet's obvious belief that Theroux did actually mean a bit of shade to be thrown, Theroux hasn't removed the image as of publication of this article.
More: Justin Theroux reportedly almost died on his honeymoon
Personally, I think he probably didn't mean it to have anything to do with Pitt, but the fact that Pitt's name was listed so prominently should have encouraged Theroux to steer clear of the image whether he meant to throw shade or not. Theroux and Aniston have spent so much time and effort already proving that they don't care about anything Pitt does that anything linking them is just adding unnecessary fuel to the fire.
Before you go, check out our slideshow below.
It feels like this election is bringing up so many topics that we have our own stories about—not only assault, but also how we've lived with sexism and racism.
As reported in The New York Times, the accusations made against Donald Trump by several women have prompted many others to tell their partners about their own sexual assault and harassment histories.
We asked women what experiences this election had caused them to think about, relive, or share with their loved ones. This is what they said.
"Every single woman I know, including myself, can remember the first time she was touched or spoken to by a man in a sexually inappropriate way. For me, it was my upstairs neighbor who locked the elevator one day when we were alone and fondled me. I was 8 or 9. My friend Judy was at the bus stop on 14th street. She was 11.Women learn to navigate the world around men. We walk around them instead of into them on the street, since they usually won't move. We avoid being on elevators alone with men we don't know. We keep an eye and feelers out on crowded subways to avoid that boob or butt grab that men pretend happened accidentally. And we have whole communications network in place when we go on dates, so we come home alive and unscathed.This election is bringing all of this up again because we all know men like Donald Trump, who think they are so rich and powerful that they can do what they want. And we all remember when we first had to deal with sexual assault." — Lynda Lippin
"I'm discussing the election with my teenage daughters. It's not so much what I have to say to them, but rather what I'm hearing them say. They have strong feelings, even though they may not fully understand the complexity of all the issues. It's been great to hear them start developing their own viewpoints, and I'll watch closely as their opinions evolve as they better understand the world around them. I may not always agree with them, but I'm looking for minds at work." — Susan Jensen
"The morning I heard the recording of Trump's conversation with Billy Bush, I stopped dead in my tracks and didn't regain full composure for two days. It was like a scab had been ripped off a third-degree burn, It brought back every single minute of both the times my ex-husband raped me. It reminded me of the fact that he "offered" me to another man and did everything in his power to convince me to let him watch while I had sex with his friend. I wanted to vomit." — Trease Shine Hinton
"The weekend after the infamous Trump video was released I had a lengthy conversation with my much-older fiancee regarding misogyny and the pervasive rape culture. It took a good couple of hours back and forth, gently yet relentlessly, explaining the plight of women. It was only when I brought up a situation in which he had been embarrassed and humiliated that my sweetheart finally understood what we as women go through almost every single day. It's not a complete win as two weeks after that conversation I"m still having to clarify and explain, but....it's a start." - Stacy Millican
More: What women still need to hear from Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump
"It's uncomfortable. I called out a male friend because he insisted Bill Clinton's accusers were "doing favors" for him and were opportunists. I shut him down saying I guess I should feel 'lucky' I was assaulted by a non-rich person because then I'd have a rep as a golddigger too. That ended that conversation." - Tina Bassett
"What I have discussed is voting for the lesser of two evils. I voted for Hilary however I do not care for either candidate professionally or personally. After society rightfully hanged Bill Cosby out to dry for his wrongdoing, it amazes me that Trump has gotten this far. But with Hilary excusing/accepting Bill's sexual behavior it amazes me she can criticize Trump." — Kimberly Wright
"The treatment of women in this election as it relates to harassment, consent and abuse has made me revisit some ugly instances in my past including: a college professor whose behavior was wildly inappropriate and made me uncomfortable, the ex boyfriend who was mentally and emotionally abusive, and all the times in my life i've felt demeaned and mistreated simply because I'm a woman. It's SUCH an important topic to discuss and have an open dialogue about; especially for our younger generations." — Ali Arnone
"This election is forcing me to have more candid conversations with my sons about sexual harassment, 'boy talk' and how people react to the allegations against Trump." — Crysta Icore
"I've been looking more closely at sexual-harassment and how often it happens. I've had several conversations with my boyfriend about it and it's been helpful to him to see it from a woman's perspective. For example, recently while running at 10 AM someone pulled up and tried to pick me up for prostitution. It is absolutely ridiculous how often these things happen, how it's impossible to be taken seriously when it's reported and how men do not understand how disrespectful they are. I feel like I want to world to know it's not okay the way women are treated, but I also feel helpless and am curious how much my effort would impact society, if at all." — Sarah Lu Howard
"Earlier in the election I wrote a blog post immediately following the clash between two members of Black Lives Matter and Bernie Sanders. When it came to racism, non-black allies were learning ways to offer more effective support. Many of us were mourning and supporting one another through a tragic wave of the killing of unarmed black people by police officers. It just so happened that I was on social media that night and experienced some of the cruel backlash. The timing couldn't have been worse." - Tonya GJ Prince
"The many instances of unwanted sexual advances, touch and even assault have bubbled up for me. I'm sharing these experiences with my husband for the first time, because I historically categorized them as banal/commonplace. I'm also sharing experiences with my female friends, many of whom I've been friends with for years, yet we've never discussed sexual assault in the past." - Shannon Gaggero
We've never met a piece of chocolate we'd pass up, but artisan vendors are seriously taking the chocolate game to a whole new level.
Though the fruits of an artisan chocolate maker may be a little harder to find, the effort is well worth it. Their small-batch confections are above and beyond the mass-produced candies we are so used to eating. If you are looking for a chocolate-eating experience that is truly gourmet — and obsession-worthy — do yourself a favor and seek out some of these brands. Just be warned — you'll never look at a Hershey's bar or Reese's the same way again.
More: We've got the hookup on unexpected — yet yummy — chocolate flavor combos
Patric chocolate
Patric Chocolate is a small chocolate producer in Columbia, Missouri, that prides themselves on "doing it all from bean to bar to bonbon," according to their Instagram account. Due to their hand-selected beans, their craft chocolates are as complex as the highest-quality wines.
The only hitch with Patric is that their treats are not always readily available, but you can sign up to be on their monthly bar-release newsletter on their website.
Lake Champlain chocolates
You might have seen a box of Vermont's Lake Champlain Chocolates floating around out there at one point or another — but did you know that Lake Champlain is actually healthy chocolate? Well, as healthy as candy can be, anyway. Lake Champlain is proud to use preservative-free, all-natural ingredients to create a wealth of truffles, hot chocolate mixes and chocolate bars that are kosher as well. Did we mention their Maple Crunches are to die for?
More: Chocolate butter is the new Nutella and we'll show you how to make it
Vosges
Vosges' mission statement is "Peace, Love, and Chocolate," and that's a motto we can really get behind. The company was started by Katrina Markoff in her Chicago apartment and has blossomed into an imaginative, playful vendor devoted to coming up with wild pairings like chocolate and chilies, chocolate and flowers and chocolate and bacon.
"We harness the power of storytelling to open minds, spirits and palates through the medium of esteemed chocolate, inspiring us all to interact with the world in a new and creative way," their website reads.
And boy, do they live up to their words — with creations like the Smokehouse BBQ Potato Chip Bar and Coconut Ash & Banana Super Dark chocolate bar, Vosges is not to be missed.
More: Luscious low-carb chocolates that will truly fill your choco cravings
If you recognize the name, that's because Payard is the creation of legendary confectioner François Payard. His café in New York serves his famous chocolates and cakes, and now you can purchase his creations online to enjoy at home. His amazing truffle selections are not cheap — a 16-piece box will run you $36 — but they are worth every penny.
Christopher Elbow chocolates
Christopher Elbow is an artisan chocolatier based in Kansas City, Missouri. He is a classically trained chef who has worked as a pastry chef for big names like Emeril Lagasse. Now Elbow works like a mad scientist creating everything from bourbon chocolates to melt-in-your-mouth candied fruit squares — and even an amazing variety of drinking chocolates.
Before you go, check out our slideshow below.
Originally published February 2013. Updated November 2016.
John Oliver video
Many people assume that school segregation issues were solved in 1964 with the Civil Rights Act, which invalidated all laws surrounding "separate but equal." However, over 50 years later, there are still school districts that are racially segregated, included many in the North, with New York City at the top of the list.
In Sunday's "This Week Tonight" segment, John Oliver points out that despite its long history of racism, the South is actually working hard to provide equity within its school system. Perhaps it's because they are actively fighting against an overtly racist past or simply because they can rightfully acknowledge that every child deserves a quality education. Whatever the reason, the South is doing better here. (Not great, but OK).
The North, however, is failing students of color — particularly black students — when it comes to education. In New York City, for example, the schools self-segregated due to factors like discriminatory housing practices and selective admissions processes. And as Oliver points out, NYC has seen its fair share of racism. "Of course racism exists in New York," he says. "Have you never seen West Side Story?"
More: College's segregated housing for black students makes a whole lot of sense
In his segment, Oliver notes studies that prove that racial diversity in schools has only positive effects on children of color and no negative impact on white kids. Whereas segregated schools actively put black children at a disadvantage, as in many cases, predominantly black schools have less experienced teachers and less funding, among other challenges. As Oliver reminds us all, “funding tends to follow white people around the way white people follow the band Phish around.”
NYC might present itself as the melting pot of this country, but its public schools certainly don't reflect that. Because of a variety of factors, when the public schools are zoned, they do so within specific neighborhoods, resulting in schools that are either predominantly white or predominately black. And Oliver points out the obvious in his segment: "If you just assign kids to their neighborhood schools, and their neighborhoods are segregated, you will have a segregated school.”
And while a simple solution would be to create districts with diversity prioritized over neighborhoods, one of the biggest issues is that white parents are actively fighting to keep the schools the way they are (i.e., segregated and benefiting their white kids).
And that is what it comes down to in the end. White parents need to be the ones to speak out and say "Hey! Not everyone is getting an equal shot at a good education and we actually have the ability to potentially fix this." But this isn't happening, and people need to start explaining why. Because answers like "I don't want my kid to have to walk an extra 10 blocks to get to school" are frankly bullshit when you stop and realize that those 10 blocks mean black children being able to access schools with strong curriculum, highly qualified teachers, arts and music programs and so much more.
More: Why teaching black history should not be limited to Black History Month
I understand that we all want what is best for our children, but think about what we're doing when we send our children to segregated schools. For many, schools are microcosms of the larger world. So when white kids don't see kids of color in their day-to-day lives, sitting next to them reading poetry or solving algebra equations, then they risk starting to see them as "others" and not as peers or friends. They also lose out on benefits they never realized they needed.
Yes, this will be uncomfortable to talk about, especially in predominantly upper-class white neighborhoods. Because that is where the change will have to occur. So what can we do about this? And more important, what can you do about this? Take a second to think about your own child's school and the racial diversity it has (or doesn't have). Look at surrounding school districts and compare them to your own. Listen to experts, like U.S. Education Secretary John King, as they call upon parents to help solve this problem. Listen to parents of color to see what they suggest.
I know we can do better. So, let's get to work, parents. Let's actively make our schools better for every child. As Oliver says as he ends his segment, "The benefits of truly diverse schools are obvious. The problem is often just our willingness to do it at all."
