Kelly Clarkson was not kidding when she said she didn't want to have any more kids.

Since first becoming pregnant in 2013, she has never shied away from talking about how difficult, miserable and so not glowy her experiences have been. So it's not a shock that she announced she made her husband get a vasectomy shortly after their second child was born. You go, girl!

On Jenny McCarthy's SiriusXM show, the 34-year-old singer announced that her husband/manager Brandon Blackstock had a vasectomy and she got her tubes tied after welcoming their second child, son Remington Alexander, in April.

"This will never happen again," Clarkson said she told her husband while pregnant for the second time. And she definitely made sure it wouldn't.

More: Giving birth was traumatic enough — I don't ever want to have more kids

Clarkson opened up about her difficult first pregnancy on CBS This Morning in November, saying, "I have to get IVs and fluids because I get so dehydrated. It's really bad." She also spoke on The Ellen DeGeneres Show in 2013 when she was pregnant with her first child, saying, "It's so bad. It's so bad. I know it's, like, so gross. And that's the thing, too — you're not attractive when you're pregnant. Everybody tells you [that] you glow and you're hair is pretty and you're nails are pretty. That's total crap. My nails are short, my hair still falls out, like, it's not all lush and beautiful and I have no glow. Unless it's, like, something left over from a bad throw up. It's horrible."

Clarkson sounds like me in 10 years.

More: These pregnancy emojis tell it like it really is, mesh panties and all

The Grammy winner laughed while telling McCarthy, "I literally told my OB-GYN while open on the table, 'If I get pregnant again, I will find you.'"

Clarkson is not alone, though, as other celebrities have expressed having similar experiences. Kate Middleton also had severe morning sickness and Kim Kardashian told E! News, "I'm not going to sit here and lie and act like it's the most blissful experience. It's awful."

Thankfully, celebrities like Clarkson and Middleton have highlighted the less glamorous side of pregnancy, which is probably how most women really feel. I'm sure throwing up multiple times a day doesn't make them feel like a glowing Greek goddess, either. (Unless they have their glam squad around, which they probably do.) 

More: Rob & Chyna have some serious #pregnancyproblems

But it goes to show you — a mother will do anything for her child. Whether it's sitting in a hospital with an IV drip or wearing potentially the ugliest of maternity clothing because you don't fit in anything else, a mother's love has no limits, before and forever after giving birth. Clarkson even penned a children's book, River Rose and the Magical Lullaby, inspired by her first child and daughter, River Rose. Now that's #momgoals.

It all started when another mother, with a child only two weeks older than my own, said very matter-of-factly, “Well, we actually have only given her two baths since she was born.” I simply nodded along (oh, yeah, your 1-year-old has had only two baths in her entire life — no wonder she’s nervous about going in the water!).

It was only afterward, when I started thinking about it, that I had questions. Was this some new parenting trend I hadn’t yet heard of? I’d heard of delaying the first bath, but was there some reason that some parents might avoid bathing as much as possible for the entire first year?

I Googled my little heart out. I found nothing.

Perplexed, I asked a few other parents. They weren’t totally sure either, though a couple said their kids just didn’t have many baths early in life because it wasn’t necessary (which caused me to have a minor existential crisis, staring down the possibility that some babies might not put as much peanut butter as possible directly into their own hair). As we tried to puzzle out the various reasons it might be, someone rather innocently asked what the actual mother had said about it. It made sense; go back to the source — right.

“Oh, I didn’t ask her.”

And that got me thinking. I was just curious; I don’t actually care how often anyone bathes their children, provided they don’t cross the line into abuse or neglect (and this child looked fine; clean enough, happy, nothing to be concerned about). And yet, I still didn’t feel like I could ask this mom. I still didn’t feel I was allowed to say, “Oh... Huh... That’s interesting. Why?”

Why in the world would such an innocent question feel taboo?

I think the answer lies in our experiences as parents, specifically our experience of being constantly judged, constantly given unsolicited advice and constantly shamed for doing it “wrong.” The fact is, even though our bath-time routines might be different, I practically am that mom. Our kids are exactly the same age, and as such, we are going through a lot of the same bullshit right now, both with the exciting developmental stages toddlerhood offers and the reactions we get — from other people — to our parenting. And other people, parents and non-parents alike, are constantly reacting. I know firsthand what it feels like to be judged just because I broke down and got disposable diapers or because I did baby-led weaning or because I’m still breastfeeding... or whatever.

Because I’ve gone through all of that, I also know that simple, “innocent” questions are often anything but. “Oh, why did you choose to do it that way?” might look just fine in text, but most of the time, when you have it said to you as a parent, it definitely does not sound fine. It sounds like an accusation, and it sounds that way because it is. The person is trying to be polite, but really they’re asking you to defend your parenting choices because they think your choices need defending.

Depending on who the asker is and how close they are to you, what may seem like an innocent question to the uninitiated can quickly turn into either a lengthy lecture or a passive-aggressive jab (“Bill and I just didn’t feel we needed to do all of that”). Ditto for “oh, that’s interesting.” Sure, "interesting" can be good, but imagine the word “interesting” the way your great-aunt says it because she’s been taught that it’s rude to say “that’s the stupidest idea I’ve ever heard!”

I empathize with that mother. If she has an extended family that’s fairly mainstream in parenting practices, she’s probably already gotten an earful about how often her child ought to be bathed. She’s probably, like me, dealt with enough backlash for her various parenting decisions. Her hackles are probably up. I mean, of course her hackles are up!

So I didn’t ask. I do not ask. I do not ask other mothers questions about their parenting. Unless I know for a fact that I can be super clear that I am enthusiastically only asking for more information because I support them, as in, “Wow, you cook everything from scratch? Can I have your homemade graham cracker recipe?” I keep my mouth shut.

Because however curious I might be, I don’t want to ever become part of the endless noise of judgment. Mothers, you see, we are up against enough of that, and I’m scared of adding to it. So I’m going to keep right on not asking those questions.

When confronted with the awful reality of how black people were treated in the age of slavery and then during the Jim Crow era, many white people take solace in the knowledge that they would never sit idly by and watch black people be mistreated today.

More: TRL takes a stand for the minority vote because protests aren't enough

It's easy to look back on the anti-slavery effort or the Civil Rights movement and feel superior, but in doing so, white people tend to forget that racial segregation is alive and well today — and that, just as many failed to take action during the height of Jim Crow, they are now content to look the other way as minorities are victimized by law enforcement officials and the prison system at large.

Admittedly, I've been complicit in all this. I've always recognized that it's not all rainbows and sunshine for the black community, but until I saw the new Netflix documentary 13th, I didn't realize the true gravity of the situation.

More: Why saying All Lives Matter really is a huge problem

The premise of 13th is that the mistreatment of black people in America is far from over. People may no longer be allowed to own slaves or force passengers to sit at the back of the bus based on their skin color, but that doesn't mean the problem is over. Instead, it has taken a new form: mass incarceration.

More: #BlackLivesMatter cofounder on why the movement is more vital now than ever

Brought about largely during the 1980s and 1990s and shockingly accelerated since 2010, our nation's system of mass incarceration keeps far too many people behind bars due to minor crimes, or in many cases, no crimes at all. Once they're released, former inmates' freedoms are further stifled by stigma, along with an inability to secure housing or employment upon submitting to background checks. Many others are denied the right to vote.

13th paints an incredibly bleak picture, but there are signs of hope. As the documentary points out, the age of the smartphone has made mistreatment more visible than ever. The media shock factor has been repeatedly used through the ages to jolt people into action, and now, live social media feeds and other tools are being used for the same purpose. Social media also has a way of humanizing a population that society has spent far too long criminalizing. The road to redemption will be a long one, but an informed and passionate citizenry can accomplish great things.

What are your thoughts on the United States' system of mass incarceration? Comment and share your opinion below.

I love Shark Tank and I love cookies, so the only thing that could make my evening better would be a pack of delicious chocolate chip cookies from the Cookie Kahuna himself, Wally Amos. I had to settle for watching the Sharks eat cookies instead, but Amos' infectious personality made that nearly as enjoyable as chowing down on cookies myself.

More: EXCLUSIVE: Kevin O'Leary gets brutal with a Shark Tank poem

You may recognize Wally Amos' last name — he is the Amos from the renowned cookie brand Famous Amos. Unfortunately, while his original brand is still a force to be reckoned with, he's suffered repeated business failures.

Amos is back with a brand-new cookie brand, but unfortunately, he no longer has the ability to use his name or likeness for marketing purposes. It's definitely going to be an upward battle for him; in addition to the typical challenges of starting a business, he faces many significant marketing roadblocks. Perhaps worst of all, he doesn't appear to have acquired any business sense over the years, as became immediately evident while he spoke with the Sharks.

More: Shark Tank's Sharks go overboard with health product critiques

At $50,000 and a 20 percent share, Amos' asking price was remarkably modest, yet he couldn't convince any of the Sharks to play ball. They all spoke highly of his achievements as an entrepreneur, but then expressed doubts about his latest brand, which several Sharks believed will go out of business soon if he doesn't get his costs under control.

Despite having endured yet another disappointment, Amos kept a huge smile on his face. He's the type of never-give-up guy you know will be just fine, even if he never manages to sell another cookie. He has all the cookies he can eat, and really, what more could anybody want in life?

More: Shark Tank's NoPhone is an insult to real entrepreneurs

I would love to see more people like Wally Amos on Shark Tank. I get that the majority of the entrepreneurs who hit up the show are new to the game, but I'm sure there are plenty of other big names who want the opportunity for a comeback. Hopefully, if any other notable figures appear on the show, they will make a better pitch, because if there's one thing better than cookies on Shark Tank, it's a Shark Tank success story.

What did you think of Wally Amos' appearance on Shark Tank? Should the Sharks have made him an offer? Comment and share your opinion below.

Sometimes, listening to our mom gut is the most important skill we have as parents. If I hadn't trusted my instincts that something was wrong when my son began twitching, he may never have been diagnosed with a complex neurological disorder his doctors had missed for years.

The first time I took him to the doctor for strange head and neck movements, he was 7 years old. He’d fallen awkwardly on our backyard trampoline, and his neck had bothered him since. Throughout the day, he would flail his head backward in what looked like a weird attempt at popping his neck.

When I asked him why he did that, he told me it was because his neck hurt. At the physician’s office, an X-ray revealed no damage, but just to be safe, he prescribed our son a neck brace to help with the pain. It would be close to a year before the neck flails subsided, but in their place, my son developed a new, annoying habit: quick snorts through his nose, usually done in twos, all day long.

More: Don't hate on moms who turn to the internet for medical advice

At first I thought he was coming down with something, so I did the typical mom things. I rubbed Vicks on his chest and upper lip, used a dehumidifier in his room at night and, to his frustration, asked him to blow his nose repeatedly throughout the day. None of it worked, so once again I brought him back to the doctor’s office. “Allergies,” I was told and given a prescription for Zyrtec and Flonase, neither of which stopped the incessant sniffling.

Eventually he added a new and equally bothersome symptom: throat clearing. I tried everything to help him, including lots of cough drops, but nothing short of yelling “stop!” would make the cough go away for more than a few moments. I was thankful that when he slept, in a room right next to mine, the constant sounds coming from his nose and throat retreated.

After four months or so, the sniffling and coughing went away, but the neck flailing returned. I was at a loss.

“You’re going to hurt your neck if you keep it up,” I warned him.

“I’m fine,” my son — by then almost 9 — replied.

Then, a month later, a new behavior emerged: forced blinking. He had just recently gotten a prescription for glasses, and I thought the blinking was related. When I took him back to the eye doctor, they did a thorough exam and found nothing wrong.

“He’s probably just adjusting to the new glasses,” the optometrist said.

More: Why are toddlers being treated for ADHD?

This pattern carried on for another year. I trusted the doctors and assumed my son had bad allergies that medications didn’t help, chronic neck issues from the trampoline fall and that he was struggling to get used to his glasses. Everything was so easy to explain away that I had no idea something else might be going on.

By the end of third grade, another pattern emerged, one that wasn’t as easy to tolerate as the annoying noises — my son was getting in trouble in class for talking out of turn or making sounds while the teachers were instructing. This trend continued through a move and a grade change and required multiple parent-teacher visits. I truly thought I just had an overly talkative child.

By the time he turned 11, he'd begun doing something strange that was harder to dismiss. Whenever he’d talk, he’d touch his chin to his chest. At the time, he was slightly overweight, and his neck had a few fleshy grooves that, if he wasn’t diligent about wiping, would get sticky with sweat. When I questioned what he was doing, he said his neck felt uncomfortable, and so I let it be at first. But a week later, as we stood in the living room talking, I noticed him doing something I couldn’t ignore. As he spoke, the left side of his neck clenched, forcing his artery to show through the skin, and at the same time, he grimaced.

“Stop doing that,” I said, alarmed.

“I can’t!” was his reply.

I looked into his worried brown eyes and knew something was very wrong. I gave him a hug, and after he went to bed, I decided to do some research.

On Google I typed "boy, neck clenching, facial grimace" and hit “enter.” The results that popped up on my screen brought everything into focus.

Tourette's syndrome.

I read through lists of symptoms, like head flinging, nasal and throat clearing, random vocalizations, tapping, exaggerated blinking, facial grimacing, neck clenching and, very rarely, coprolalia — repetitive, involuntary cursing.

I couldn’t believe it. All the years he’d been exhibiting symptoms of Tourette’s, and no one was able to tie them together. Allergies, neck pain, vision problems — all excused as normal behavior by qualified physicians.

The next morning I called our son’s pediatrician and scheduled an appointment. We were seen the same day, and the doctor looked through my son’s record while examining him and seeing the facial tics firsthand.

“I have a feeling you may be right, Mom,” the doctor said to me and suggested a visit to a pediatric neurologist to confirm the diagnosis. What followed over the next month was life changing for my son. The neurologist, the head of pediatric neurology at Walter Reed, instantly recognized that my son had Tourette’s. She explained that many kids will experience the worst tics during puberty, but many will grow out of them once the developmental stage is done.

“You’ll have to wait and see,” we were instructed.

Tourette's syndrome is not fully understood by the medical community, but it is believed to be a genetic condition passed on from an affected parent. It is often misunderstood by the public, in part due to media representations of Tourette’s being the “cussing disease.” In truth, coprolalia, the repetitive use of obscene language, affects only roughly 10 percent of all patients diagnosed with the disorder. Fortunately my son’s vocalizations never included profanity.

More: When to get a second opinion for your sick child

It has now been five years since my son’s diagnosis, and he has learned to manage his disorder and to educate others. A few months ago at work, a customer asked my son, “What’s wrong with you?” He calmly replied, “I have a neurological condition called Tourette’s. How can I help you today?”

While it’s been hard to watch my child deal with the sometimes painful tics (using a muscle repetitively causes strain and inflammation, which hurts), it’s also been amazing to see his grace and maturity while he teaches others about his disorder.

The next time you see someone making strange faces or noises, try to imagine you’re in their shoes. The next time you hear someone joke about Tourette’s being a “cussing disease,” try to educate them about what Tourette's syndrome actually is, and by doing so, you'll be making the world a more accepting space for kids like my son, who have to live in the world with this uncomfortable, highly visible disorder that can be difficult to manage.

Two words. That is all it takes to lose your individuality. The moment the words “I do” come out of your mouth it is automatically assumed that you and your significant other will be glued at the hip until death do you part. I am not against marriage — I married my husband at 23 years old. I am merely speaking out for the women who are judged for fulfilling their passions while leaving their husbands at home. Because I am one of them.

I dread the wide eyes, blank stares and endless questions when I tell someone that I am traveling without my husband. The questions double when I throw in the fact that I take my toddler on my globe-trotting adventures.

But here's the reality: Travel is part of who I am. I made the decision that I would not give up my desire to see the world for anything or anyone, and now I am blessed to show my little girl the world by my side.

Here are some of the reactions I frequently face:

“Why doesn’t your husband go with you?”

He doesn’t enjoy traveling. It is as simple as that. Why drag someone along that doesn’t want to be there in the first place? To be completely honest, I'd rather travel without my husband. I am the type of traveler that wants to be fully immersed in a new culture and constantly explore my surroundings. My husband isn't. Traveling alone gives me the freedom of creating my own itinerary and not having anyone slow me down. Solo travel lets me wake up in a foreign land and do exactly as I please. I only answer to myself. Doesn’t that sound like a breath of fresh air?

“Won’t you be lonely?”

Of course I will miss him, but I won’t be lonely. I’ll blame this on being an only child. I can’t think of one time in all my travels that I have felt lonely. Foreign places completely consume me. I become so engrossed in discovering a new city or country that I forget about everything else. Travel gives me the gift of being present in the moment and disposing of my worries back at home .I also believe that time apart strengthens our marriage and makes us appreciate each other more. Distance really does make the heart grow fonder.

“Doesn’t he care that you are taking your daughter with you?”

I am almost certain that every parent would care if their partner was whisking away their child to another country. My husband has every right to worry and he most certainly cares. That being said, it doesn’t mean he would stop us from traveling. He misses our little girl dearly while we are on our adventures, but he also realizes how fortunate she is to be seeing the world at such a young age.

“I can’t believe your husband is letting you go.”

This statement really bothers me. It suggests that I need his permission to travel solo. Yes, I am a married woman. I am also my own person. I would not be who I am today without my lifelong history of traveling the world. My husband knew this about me before we said our vows and was aware I would travel with or without him. I am fortunate to be married to a man that accepts my constant wanderlust and supports my endeavors. He doesn’t “let” me travel alone — he accepts me for who I am.

Marriage doesn’t dissolve your individuality and should not halt your passions. Traveling solo as a married woman has given me the opportunity to discover who I am when I am not with my husband. It gives me the chance to completely focus on myself and the location that I am exploring. The amount that you learn about yourself while traveling solo is phenomenal. You will learn how confident, brave and self-reliant you can be and will bring these qualities back to your daily life. Waking up alone in uncharted territory with nothing to do but explore is one of the most invigorating feelings in the world. Unless you venture away from your comfort zone and face the judgement, you will never know how traveling on your own could potentially change your life. Stop waiting around. Stop worrying about what others will think. Just go. Spending your life waiting will only end with unaccomplished dreams and regret.

I travel without my husband because I would not be the same person he married if I gave up my dreams. If your heart is yearning like mine to discover new cultures, meet new people, try different foods and explore foreign lands, then make an effort to make it part of your life.

Break away from the stereotypical married life and join me off the beaten path. I’ve never been happier.

Originally posted on A Traveling Bond.

Halloween is just around the corner, which means it's time to overload on candy. But you can skip the wimpy stuff — we've rounded up the richest, most decadent dark chocolate candies and some dark chocolate makeovers of your classic Halloween favorites. You can tell yourself it's "healthier" because of all those extra "antioxidants." But between us? I think we know it's all about tasting the dark side.

1. Kit Kat Halloween Darkness

Classic Kit Kats get a dark chocolate makeover in this bag of snack-size Halloween candies. (Google Express, $3)

More: 3 super-easy dark chocolate desserts

2. Dark chocolate pumpkin truffles

Gourmet dark chocolate-pumpkin spice truffles are decorated like pumpkins. (Moonstruck Chocolate, $55)

3. Dark chocolate spider truffles

Decorated with orange spiders, these extra-dark chocolate truffles are a must-try. (Moonstruck Chocolate, $50)

4. Fair Trade dark chocolate minis

Equal Exchange fair trade dark chocolates are a fun and ethical Halloween treat. (Equal Exchange, $30)

5. Pure dark chocolate skull

Make a big impression with this 70 percent dark chocolate skull. (Dean & Deluca, $25)

More: 5 dark chocolate recipes that will make you swoon

6. Silver gianduja skulls

Silver-dusted dark chocolate skulls filled with a cream made from hazelnuts, macadamia nuts and almonds are an elegant Halloween treat. (Dean & Deluca, $12)

7. Dark chocolate graham book of spells

Graham crackers coated in dark chocolate and delivered in a fun book of spells container make for a spookily delicious Halloween gift. (Harry & David, $30)

8. Dark chocolate Reese's Miniatures

Dark chocolate is the only way I can think of improving Reese's Peanut Butter Cup Miniatures. (Walmart, $4)

9. Dove Dark Chocolate Pumpkins

Smooth and creamy dark chocolate pumpkins are a Halloween candy even grown-ups will love. (Google Express, $4)

10. Dark chocolate coffin box

Dark chocolate skull truffles paired with seasonal flavors make for a gourmet Halloween. (Williams-Sonoma, $42)

11. Justin's Halloween Dark Chocolate Peanut Butter Cups

Organic and vegan, these dark chocolate Halloween peanut butter cups are a delight for everyone. (Google Express, $10)

More: 11 dark chocolate dessert recipes to make you drool

“I don’t understand where you’re injured. Is it your L5, your L4?”

The Master Sergeant sitting across from me is the picture of confusion.

“No,” I say. “It’s my sacrum. I fractured and displaced my sacrum.”

He still looks confused. Despite the x-rays and doctors’ notes I’ve turned in, convincing the cadre that I’m injured has proven difficult.

“I don’t know where that is, but you need to get off profile and get back to training," he told me.

He dismisses me, and all the frustration I’d been holding back rushes through me. I’m not in a cast, I don’t use crutches, and the fact that I can walk makes people assume I’m okay. If only that were true.

Breaking my back was not part of my plan. I joined the Army National Guard to pay off student loans, gain leadership experience, and make a difference in the world. My injury changed everything. Forget about running or sit ups, just sitting and standing leave me feeling like I have the flu because my body hurts so much. But pain is felt not seen, and to outsiders I appear perfectly fine, just slow moving and stiff.

The pain starts at my tailbone, wraps around my left hip and races through my spine before infiltrating my thoughts and shooting harsh words out my mouth. Chronic pain isn’t easy to live with, but the burden of having to prove your pain to doctors and friends makes it worse.

Saying “no” to movies because I don’t feel like sitting or “no” to festivals because my hip is out make having a social life unpredictable, if not impossible. Considering their point of view, I can understand why friends struggle with my excuses. If Facebook and Instagram have taught us anything, it’s that life is judged by appearances not reality, and I appear fine.

A cure, a miracle, a pain free life is what I’m after, but the shuffle from doctor to doctor leaves me discouraged not hopeful. VA medical care is like unwinding a tangled spider’s web, and it takes over three years after my injury before I’m seen by a VA doctor to discuss treatment. Guilt winds its way through me as I pass amputees and Agent Orange victims in the hallways. Shouldn’t I just be grateful I’m alive and with all of my limbs? Is this why the doctors don’t listen to my complaints? Pain shouldn’t be a competition, but too often, I feel like it is.

Now four years out from the injury, doctors tell me they aren’t certain what’s going on, but that the pain is normal and I should just try to live normally. Have I tried yoga or Motrin?

Painful moments are supposed to be learning situations, and if so, my injury has taught me this: The proper response to someone in pain is empathy. True healing only comes when those in pain are understood and can openly share their feelings with others and not be judged.

I am skeptical by nature, especially when it comes to supplements. It’s not that I don’t believe that alternative treatments work — my dog benefited greatly from acupuncture — but I am hesitant to give my dog a supplement that hasn’t been backed up by research. I worry about side effects, medication interactions and plain old effectiveness. If it doesn’t work, I don’t see the point.

So when a friend suggested that I try turmeric for my dog’s arthritis, I tried not to roll my eyes. I wanted to help my dog’s arthritis, not season her with a cooking spice. To my surprise, a little research revealed that there might be something to my friend’s suggestion after all.

The active ingredient in turmeric is curcumin. It is what makes the spice yellow and also what gives the tasty spice its health benefits. Curcumin has the potential to combat a variety of health issues. So far, studies have mostly been in vitro, aka in a petri dish, which means that a lot more research needs to be done before we can conclusively say that it works. But people (and now people's pets) aren't waiting for studies to tell them what they already know is true — turmeric helps ease the symptoms of a lot of health issues.

More: Pot for pets sounds great, but it's missing one crucial component: science

So how can turmeric possibly help your pup?

Turns out, there are quite a few ways.

1. Curcumin has potent anti-inflammatory effects. Since inflammation is associated with arthritis pain, this could mean that turmeric for dogs could help with arthritis. Quite a few studies have shown that turmeric helps manage osteoarthritis in people and can reduce the symptoms of osteoarthritis. More important, preliminary studies suggest the same benefits could also exist for dogs.
2. Curcumin has shown promise as an anticancer compound in dogs. As far as I am concerned, anything that can help fight cancer is worth a try.
3. Curcumin may decrease pain in people at higher doses, kind of like ibuprofen. So far, no studies have come out about the effects of curcumin on pain in dogs, but this is still promising for pets.
4. Some evidence suggests that curcumin may decrease blood pressure, but more research is needed to confirm this.
5. Turmeric could help slow some of the effects of aging on the brain thanks to the antioxidants in curcumin.
6. Curcumin could help fight liver disease and increase digestive functionality, helping with inflammatory bowel diseases and digestion.

Side effects of turmeric for dogs

Curcumin is not absorbed very well by human and animal bodies, which means that you would need to give your dog a relatively high dosage of curcumin for it to have an effect. Pairing it with piperine, a black pepper extract, can help increase the absorption, but I was worried about the dosage level and what effects that might have on my dog.

There isn't a lot of information available about turmeric's side effects, but it can be assumed that dogs may experience some of the same side effects that people taking turmeric supplements may experience. Turmeric could possibly cause stomach upset, blood thinning and diarrhea, and it could potentially cause a drug interaction with other herbs or medications.

How much turmeric should you give your dog?

Sprinkling turmeric on your dog’s food is probably not the best way to go. If you want to try giving turmeric as a supplement for your dog, put down the spice jar and pick up the phone. Talk to your vet or find a holistic vet who can help you find the right dosage and supplement brand for your dog, and make sure that your dog actually has a condition like osteoarthritis before you start treating them on your own.

More: Pets and supplements: Hyped up or helpful?

So will I try turmeric for my dog? I haven't decided, but I plan to bring it up with my vet at my dog's next visit. Since I am not a vet, here is my turmeric disclaimer: Supplements like turmeric might help your dog, but they are not a replacement for veterinary care. Your dog is like curry — a little turmeric adds flavor, but the curry needs a lot more than spice to make it tasty.

More: When the time comes, I will choose hospice care for my pets

I live with my parents in the suburbs of the pulsating city of Mumbai, India in a compact two bedroom apartment. One night, around 10:30 p.m. or so, my parents had retired to their room and I was winding down for the day. It was quiet with the occasional murmur of traffic outside. Suddenly, a blood-curdling scream pierced the silence of our home. It was a heavy, sort of a gritting, grunting sound — like someone was screaming into a microphone at the top of their lungs.

The sound seemed to emanate from my parents’ room from my father’s side of the bed. I rushed into their room, inquiring if he was OK. Whatever it was seemed to be sitting right beside him and shrieking its heart out. My mother was sitting upright on the bed. She had heard the scream too. Strangely enough, my father was sleeping peacefully. We woke him up and relayed the incident to him. He looked at us with a funny expression and said he had heard nothing at all.

More: 8 Haunted houses that are actually really haunted

The grunting noise continued over the next four or five nights, usually occurring between 2-4 a.m. It seemed to “follow” us as we walked around to investigate its source. It seemed to confine itself to the passageway connecting the living room and the bedrooms. It never ever felt scary — it was more like someone in deep trouble was asking for help. The intensity of the sound kept reducing over the next few days, going on for a few minutes and then dying down. Only my mother and I heard it — my father was still blissfully unaware. When we described the sound to him, he would brush it aside saying he didn’t believe in such things.

One day, a cousin came to visit us. We didn’t tell him about the recent set of incidents. After his first dinner with us, we chatted and then went to bed, my cousin taking the couch. The next morning, the cousin said he'd had a good night sleep – except he'd heard a heaving, hissing sound well into the night and thought it came from the passageway.

More: The true haunted house story that made me a believer in paranormal activity

The sounds continued. When we told my brother, he got in touch with a spiritual guru, who told us to perform a Homa (traditional Hindu prayer ritual) every day. He gave us a mantra to repeat during the course of the Homa. We are not particularly religious and do not believe in rituals, but we decided to follow his advice in hopes of getting rid of this phenomenon.

Father, Mother and I would gather around our homa kunda at a particular time of the day, light a little fire and offer ghee, oil and other materials; while chanting the mantra given to us. This prayer seemed to work, as the noise gradually reduced to a feeble purr and then faded out altogether. We haven't done the Homa for a very long time and thankfully the screaming never resumed.

Our house was peaceful and quiet again. We started to relax in the thought that it was all over.

But then one night, again around 2 a.m., we were shaken out of our slumber by a weird, intermittent drumming sound coming from my mother’s side of the bed. It would go on for about a minute and then stop, only to restart after a couple of minutes. At first, we tried to explain it away as some external sound, like rats or bats, the pitter-patter of rain, the leaking air-conditioning system of the person living on the floor above us, and so on. However, it soon became clear to us that it was indeed coming from inside the house, from behind my parents’ bed. The next time it happened, I decided to investigate further. I shined a flashlight at the location of the sound. I could see nothing, but the drumming continued unabated.

More: 8 Spookiest haunted mansions to ever hit the real estate market

I’ve tried recording the sound but nothing unusual can be heard during playback. Even my father swore that he heard the sound that night, but the recorder captured nothing.

There’s a little corner near the bathroom, which has a small wash basin and a mirror above it that sometimes gives me the chills. We've been enveloped by a thick cloud of perfume that couldn't be explained. We sometimes hear sudden crashing sounds at home. One evening, we had invited friends over at our place and as we chatted, we heard this loud crash – like a huge pane of glass had shattered to smithereens, right next to where we were seated. We all heard it, but couldn’t see anything unusual. Obviously shaken up, our guests quickly wound up the conversation and beat a hasty retreat.

Our electronic gadgets unexpectedly developed major faults and we’ve had to change them quite a few times over the past few years. Our Tulsi (holy basil) plants have never been able to survive for more than 10-15 days at most. Most Hindus maintain Tulsi plants within or outside their homes – they usually grow quickly and in abundance. Our plants have been dying over the past few years and all our attempts at planting and nurturing new saplings have failed miserably.

Whatever it is, I've tried to communicate with it. Around midnight, I sit in meditation and ask it to talk to me, if I can help it in some way. No success. Still, I have asked it not to show up physically – I don’t think I could take the shock of it.

Our building used to be the site of a mill. We don’t know much about its history – it is possible that some workers passed on here. There is also the fact that I come from a big family. Both my mother and my father have nine siblings each, so you can well imagine the size. There have been a lot of unnatural deaths in the family – suicides, accidents, plane crashes and what have you. Maybe some of them are still trapped in here with us.

When you're a mom, you deal with more poop than you know what to do with. There's poop in eyebrows, poop on your hands and poop in crevices and nooks and crannies you probably will never be able to get totally clean.

More: Eat, drink, poop: Teaching kids about health

It's gross. It's smelly. But poop is also a part of life and it can tell us more than you might think about a baby's health.

Interestingly enough, even as recently as a decade ago, doctors thought that newborn poop was sterile. We now know that not only is the newborn digestive tract ripe with bacteria but the bacterium in our guts as babies pretty much sets up our health for life.

More: TMI: Gross things nearly every mom has done

"Researchers from the University of Valencia in Spain found that newborn meconium does contain a few common gut bacteria," explains Bridget Boyd, MD, director of the newborn nursery and assistant professor in the Department of Pediatrics at Loyola University Chicago Stritch School of Medicine. More recent research has focused on the newborn gut colonization and how it can differ for breastfed and formula-fed babies, with breastfed babies showing more diverse colonization that may be important for lowering the risk of serious medical conditions, such as asthma, allergies and type 1 diabetes.

Beyond the bacteria that actually may be the source of life for us humans, a baby's poop is also a great indicator of your baby's health. "The color of newborn stool can be anywhere from light to dark brown," explains Dr. Stan Spinner, chief medical officer of Texas Children’s Pediatrics. "Foods or liquids often affect color and older babies tend to have light to dark brown stools." A newborn's poop could even signify if the mother had been abusing alcohol during her pregnancy, with a chemical that could indicate the potential for learning disabilities down the line.

And that's just the beginning of what you can tell from a baby's bowel movement.

The colors of your baby's poop will change quite a bit in the first months, from the first meconium poops immediately after birth — which are black and tarry and can last three to four days — to an army green color and then to a yellow soft substance that appears to have little seeds in it.

As solid foods are introduced, stools can range in color from yellow to green or brown, but Dr. Boyd encourages parents to not focus on color of poop so much as the consistency. "The most important part of baby poop is [that the] consistency should be soft," she says. "Babies may go several days without stooling but just as long as they are comfortable and stool is soft, there is no reason to worry. After about 4 to 6 months, a breastfed baby may only stool one time a week, and this can be normal."

The only real worrisome colors for poop are red, black or white:

Red

Red indicates a fresh source of blood and needs to be addressed ASAP. "Stools with blood or an appearance of 'jelly' in an infant with acute extreme irritability or vomiting are cause for concern, as this could represent an intestinal obstruction and should warrant immediate evaluation," says Dr. Spinner. He also recommends that parents who may suspect a milk allergy in their child inspect their stool for blood, as that can be a common complication.

Black

Poop which appears black looks that color because of old, dried blood. "Dark black stool may represent blood from the upper gastrointestinal tract and should be addressed quickly," explains Dr. Spinner.

White

If your baby has white in his or her poop, Dr. Boyd says it could mean a problem of the biliary system and it needs to be checked out by a healthcare provider.

Lin-Manuel Miranda brought Broadway to Saturday Night Live — and theater nerds everywhere are loving it. The Hamilton creator-writer-star and all-around beloved artist didn't just stick to his musical theater roots while hosting SNL. He owned them.

More: What it feels like to finally see Hamilton: An American Musical

In what will no doubt be one of the most viral sketches of the night, "Crucible Cast Party," Miranda and the Nasty Gals — Kate McKinnon, Aidy Bryant, Cecily Strong, Vanessa Bayer and new cast member Melissa Villaseñor — brought us to a cast party following a high school production of The Crucible, and it was glorious.

The awkward flirting, constant musical theater references and braces should be familiar to anyone who went near theater in high school. And Miranda fans were overjoyed, if not a bit disturbed, by the opportunity to relive their high school years.

More: Lin-Manuel Miranda's emotional Tonys acceptance speech brings our nation to tears

"Crucible Cast Party" wasn't the only sketch to celebrate musical theater. Miranda re-worked Hamilton's "My Shot" for his opening monologue, and references throughout the show to Rent, Footloose and Grease 2 delighted theater kids. There was even a sketch based on The Music Man, and some of Miranda's SNL portraits were Singin' in the Rain themed. Even the commercials were Broadway-themed, with many of the ad breaks filled with commercials for current Broadway productions. In other words, it was clear that Saturday Night Live definitely knew its audience tonight, and the entire episode felt like a love letter to theater kids everywhere.

More: Sorry, haters, Alec Baldwin's Donald Trump on SNL was damn near perfect

Of course, the episode wasn't all musical theater. The Trump Tapes scandal featured heavily in the show, taking over the cold open, which poked fun at Trump's apology video, and making up a good half of the "Weekend Update" jokes. Other highlights included a delightful Stranger Things sketch, appearances by Tina Fey and Jimmy Fallon as two undecided voters and a superb digital short starring Kate McKinnon as Trump campaign manager Kellyanne Conway called "A Day Off with Kellyanne Conway."

Before you go, check out our slideshow below.

These incredible baby boy names all end in O, and true to the gorgeous sound of that rotund vowel, they are super suave and flow easily.

More: 15 pregnant mom freebies you need to snag ASAP

You'll find a ton of different naming styles represented in this list of 50 baby boy names. Many of these have a Spanish, Italian, or Japanese background, coming from places where naming conventions are a little different than what you'll find in the U.S. (vowel-ending baby names for boys aren't that huge here, as there are only a few in the top 100 names of 2015). The names, though, are beautiful, and have a unique flow that makes them ideal for whatever middle name you pick out to pair with it.

You'll also find a few literary and pop culture names, such as Draco, Neo and Iago, and an old-fashioned but super cool name as well (Otto). And we've also included a few names that have been made famous by celebs, such as Banjo (son of Rachel Griffiths) and Rocco (son of Madonna).

No matter what baby name you choose, it's the perfect one for your little boy. Check out this awesome group of 50 names and add a few to your baby name list.

More: Regal baby boy names that are royally perfect for your little guy

• Adriano
• Akito
• Alfonso
• Alto
• Amado
• Atilio
• Banjo
• Benicio
• Bosco
• Cairo
• Cato
• Cipriano
• Ciro
• Colorado
• Demarco
• Dino
• Django
• Domingo
• Donato
• Draco
• Elmo
• Ezio
• Falco
• Fiyero
• Gino
• Helio
• Iago
• Ivo
• Kygo
• Leto
• Liko
• Luno

• Mako
• Marco
• Maximo
• Neo
• Nicco
• Osmo
• Otto
• Paulo
• Quinto
• Remo
• Reno
• Rocco
• Santo
• Spiro
• Sulo
• Suvo
• Tovio
• Zeno

Before you go, check out our slideshow below.

I threw up every day for 9 months when I was pregnant with my daughter six years ago. The medical term for severe morning sickness is "hyperemesis-gravidarum" and until Princess Kate made it evening news, many people didn't understand how incapacitating it is.

For the first three months, I was bedridden and every morning felt like Groundhog’s Day meets The Hangover. I was supposed to be euphoric but I existed in a torturous, sick twilight zone where my 5am alarm clock was a combination of barfing and diarrhea at once. I used the bathroom garbage pan as my secondary receptacle.

More: I have hypochondria and it's not the joke people think it is

Most books predicted the morning sickness would end by week 14. By week 15, I scoured the Internet for stories of how it would end by 20 weeks and when I was still throwing up at week 30, it had become part of my routine. I hurled all over New York City — behind a dumpster near the Rockefeller Christmas tree, in Central Park on St. Patrick’s Day, and in a cab on the way to my sister’s apartment uptown. I ended up in the ER several times for IV fluids and an overpriced prescription for the anti-nausea medicine, Zofran, which replaced the nausea with blinding migraines... which led to more nausea.

No matter what I ate, it made me nauseated. If something worked to appease me once, it rarely worked a second time. I puked every day, with the last time being minutes before my emergency C-section.

My doctors promised the nausea would end as soon as she was born and it did. I didn't remember what it felt like to feel normal anymore. I didn’t know what it would be like to enjoy food again. It had been a trigger for my intense misery for 9 months. For the first few months, I reminded myself it was the pregnancy which made me throw up, not food. But my brain didn’t believe me — it was scarred (and scared).

More: I hate my panic attacks, but I hate the medication that stops them, too

You don’t read about PTSD from endless puking in What to Expect When You’re Expecting but after four years of self-analysis and Sherlock Holmes-ing my varied neuroses together, the shoe seemed to fit. Six years later I'm easily nauseated and still dread many foods, afraid they will cause vomiting. Whenever I smell anything from my pregnancy (which through the course of three seasons in New York City, was EVERYTHING), my hyper-sensitive gag reflex would be stimulated sending me into a spiral of puke paranoia.

One of the symptoms of PTSD is avoiding situations that remind you of the event or trigger memories of the traumatic event. This becomes complicated when food is the evil instigator. Some people suspected I had an eating disorder, but I was never worried about getting fat. In fact, for the first time in my life, I didn’t obsess over my body image. On the contrary, I made silent deals with the Nausea God that I’d take 20 pounds if only he took away nausea.

Sometimes I think this diagnosis is no different than any of my other mental health challenges. I experience a cocktail made of equal parts OCD, hypochondria, anxiety, and panic disorder. The common denominator is fear of death and of losing control. I feel slightly victorious now that I’ve started understanding the mysterious complexities because it has shown me there is hope. However, I equally feel frustrated and impatient. Relief only seems achievable the day I don't feel this phantom nausea.

More: I worry I'm living vicariously through my kids by giving them the opportunities I never had

It looks like Sean Penn is off the market once again. After the 56-year-old actor was spotted kissing 24-year-old Leila George on the beach in Hawaii on Wednesday, the pair took a major, public step in their relationship and walked the red carpet together at a special event celebrating Penn in Los Angeles on Thursday.

On the red carpet, George wore a black dress and a bright red wig covering her blonde hair. She also posted a tweet teasing the event with Penn, saying, "I'll be doing a tiny bit of reading October 6th @LACMA come check out An Evening with Sean Penn."

More: Charlize Theron & Sean Penn have an awkward day at Cannes

The pair's relationship seems to be heating up rather quickly. They were also spotted out together on Friday night when photographers caught George and Penn getting dinner in Malibu.

George even recently shared an Instagram photo recording in the studio with Penn. She captioned the pic, "In the studio today recording the audiobook of Pappy Pariah's men-noir 'Bob Honey: Who Just Do Stuff' for @audible_com."

More: Sean Penn and Minka Kelly caught looking like more than friends

So, who is Leila George? Aside from being an actress, she's also the daughter of Law & Order: Criminal Intent star Vincent D'Onofrio, 57.

George's acting career is definitely on the rise. She recently starred in the television movie Mother, May I Sleep with Danger alongside James Franco and Tori Spelling. The Australian-born actress' new film, The Long Home, also stars Ashton Kutcher, Josh Harnett, Robin Lord Taylor and Franco.

More: Charlize Theron finally addresses her unexpected split from Sean Penn

Sean Penn was linked to Minka Kelly earlier this year, following his breakup with Charlize Theron in 2015 after five years of dating. Penn was previously married to Madonna from 1985 to 1989 and to Robin Wright from 1996 to 2000. Penn has two children with Wright: daughter Dylan Frances, 25, and son Hopper Jack, 23.

Before you go, check out our slideshow below.

The Bachelor's Ben Higgins and Lauren Bushnell traveled to Las Vegas for a joint bachelor/bachelorette party over the weekend, leading fans to believe the engaged couple may be headed down the aisle very, very soon.

More: Ben Higgins & Lauren Bushnell are in couples counseling, but don't jump to conclusions

The latest Bachelor and Bachelorette classes seem to be closer friends than any other previous contestants. Bushnell invited Bachelor Nation members Ashley Iaconetti, Amanda Stanton, Haley Ferguson and Emily Ferguson to Sin City for a celebratory weekend, and Higgins brought along Tanner Tolbert, Jared Haibon and JJ Lane.

Iaconetti, Stanton and Haley all shared photos of spending a girls' day by the Wet Republic pool at the MGM Grand Las Vegas during the couple's fun weekend, hashtagging the snaps #byebyebushnell. The bro squad also shared some photos together at Skyfall Lounge. Tolbert even captioned a pic, "I fell in love on #TheBachelorette - with these guys... Reunited for Ben's Bachelor Party in #Vegas."

More: Why are they casting women so much younger than Nick Viall on The Bachelor?

After some separate guys' and girls' activities, the group reunited to celebrate at JEWEL Nightclub. Bushnell posted a photo of her wearing a gorgeous white sequined dress and posing with Higgins at JEWEL, writing, "So much fun celebrating with my amazing friends but sooooooooo happy to be reunited with this handsome guy."

Despite Iaconetti and Haibon's rocky relationship history on Bachelor in Paradise, the pair seemed to get along well during the Vegas trip. Iaconetti even posted a selfie with Haibon and Tolbert on Instagram.

More: Ben Higgins and Lauren Bushnell have already been together for a year

Higgins and Bushnell returned to Vegas after just celebrating their one-year meet-iversary on the Strip two weeks ago at the iHeart Radio Music Festival. The engaged couple's new reality show, Ben and Lauren: Happily Ever After, premieres Tuesday, Oct. 11 on Freeform.

Before you go, check out our slideshow below.

There are no drab-looking s'mores invited to this party. Just fancy ones that are dolled up with colorful candy coating and festive Halloween candy sprinkles. These yummies can be made ahead of time. Just warm them ever so slightly in the microwave before serving, and you're in for a real treat. Decorate with bright pink and orange candy melts — or black or green.

And of course the best part is digging in.

More: Spooky ghost pizza

Halloween s'mores recipe

Serves 12

Prep time: 30 minutes | Cook time: 5 minutes | Inactive time: 20 minutes | Total time: 55 minutes

Ingredients:

• 12 full graham cracker sheets, halved
• 24 large marshmallows, roasted
• 6 (1.55-ounce) milk chocolate bars, halved
• 1 cup orange candy melts (melted according to instructions on package)
• 1 cup bright purple candy melts (melted according to instructions on package)
• Halloween candy sprinkles

Directions:

1. Lay 1 milk chocolate bar (halved) on top of a graham cracker (halved).
2. Lay 2 roasted marshmallows on top of the chocolate bar.
3. Top with another graham cracker (halved), and carefully push down to even out the roasted marshmallows over the chocolate.
4. Repeat for the remaining graham crackers, chocolate and marshmallows.
5. Line a large cookie sheet with parchment or waxed paper.
6. Dip half a s'more (diagonally) into the melted candy coating, and lay it on the lined cookie sheet (leaving room for the remaining s'mores). While the candy coating is still wet, add the candy sprinkles. Repeat for the remaining s'mores.
7. Let chill in the refrigerator for about 20 minutes or until the candy coating is set.
8. Just before serving, very, very slightly warm (try 6 seconds at a time; not more than approximately 12 seconds) in the microwave.

More: Scary black cat cupcakes

It's a catchphrase with which the military spouse is all too familiar: You knew what you were signing up for when you married him.

But the truth is, I didn't. No one does. Not even the spouse who has been a soldier herself. It's impossible to fully understand the ramifications of joining your life with someone who is also married to the military, of raising a family under the inherent uncertainty of this life, until you're in the thick of it.

More: Let's get one thing straight: My military family does not 'have it made'

Sure, I knew that deployments and PCS's were inevitable and that I would have to make sacrifices in some vague, nondescript way. But I really had no idea what that would look like, what it would feel like. I did not foresee that my own career would be put on hold. I had no idea the ways in which doing so would lead me to question my identity and my own self-worth. I didn't know how difficult it would be to plan a family around this chaos or that I would ever have to consider the possibility of giving birth without my husband by my side. I had no idea the degree to which constant upheavals impact a marriage and one's own mental health. I didn't know the heartache of missing loved ones for months, and even years, on end.

It was impossible to know the depths of loneliness that come with a deployment or the reserves of strength it takes to endure. I could not have known how hard it would be to answer questions from a toddler about why Daddy has to go away and what exactly Daddy does. I did not comprehend the feeling of dread that would become routine any time the news was turned on during the course of a deployment. I could not have guessed the number of tears I would cry alone in a big, empty bed.

But I also did not know the the adventure that awaited me.

More: Military brats unite — 10 signs you were raised in the service

I had no idea I would explore the world and immerse myself in new cultures. I could not have conceived of the many friends who would meet us along this journey or the ways in which they would become a rock during the hard times. I had no idea such strong bonds could be built over such a short period of time.

I did not know that we would one day be welcomed to celebrate Thanksgiving with veritable strangers as our new home sat empty, awaiting our things, or the seemingly infinite kindness of others who have walked in our shoes. I couldn't have known the sense of camaraderie and support I would find in a life that can so easily be isolating. I had no idea the ways in which hardship strengthens one's character and requires an ever-evolving understanding of one's own world view. And I certainly could never have foreseen the ways in which this life forces me and my husband to communicate better, to love without reserve and to acknowledge every blessing.

It's OK that I didn't know. I couldn't have known.

Being a successful military spouse doesn't mean I'm not upset by the curveballs or frustrated by the unforeseen sacrifices. I breathe... and remember, I am human. We so often build ourselves up to be these pillars of strength because, for some reason, we've been taught it's unacceptable to show weakness. It's as if we see ourselves as an extension of military culture and continually strive to be "better, faster, stronger" on the home front. But nobody is perfect and it's okay to acknowledge the struggle. Because it's real.

More: 10 Signs you're raising kids in a military family

The life I imagined the day I said my vows probably looks very different from my reality because, the truth is, this lifestyle is incomprehensible until you're a part of it. But when I take a step back and look at it, would I really have it any other way?

Originally posted on BlogHer.

I’ve always turned to reading as a way to escape reality during the dark days when I wanted to take my mind off of my illness. But I’ve also turned to reading as a way to approach reality head on and try to come to a better understanding of my physical health and mental wellbeing. Recently I’ve been reading This is How: Help for the Self by Augusten Burroughs to help me make sense of my life with lupus. It’s one of those self-help books for people who don’t like self-help books. But then I read his chapter titled “How to be Sick” and it broke my heart, because his advice about coping with sickness is written solely for people who get diagnosed with an illness.

Reading that chapter takes me back to all of those long years before my lupus diagnosis when I knew for sure there was something really bad happening inside of me but no one could tell me what it was. I felt like I couldn’t mourn the way you get to mourn when you’re diagnosed with something. I felt like I couldn’t turn to people for support the same way others could. Which support group should I seek help from when I don’t know which disease it is? I would often find myself at a bookstore staring at the health and self-help section blankly, wondering if someday there would be a place for me on the shelf, aching to be able to pick up a book that was written for me. I lingered in some somber purgatory. And I stayed there for years, tossed around by doctors, misdiagnoses, questioning glances and awkward shrugs. I kept wondering how something so agonizing could be omitted from self-help books. Shouldn’t there be a how-to guide on how to manage the absurdity of it all?

More: Video reveals the words nobody with a chronic illness wants to hear (WATCH)

Augusten Burroughs writes “The first thing you understand is that when something is new the novelty or newness itself carries weight. This makes the message weigh more. Bad news is even worse when you are first told of it. The diagnosis will never be as terrifying as it is the first day it is given to you.”

But that advice isn’t universal because for some people that day never comes. Or at least it feels like that day will never come. They know they are sick. They know their bodies and they know something isn’t right anymore. One day they wake up and their normal is gone, replaced with a deep ache they don’t recognize. Or slowly, over the course of a few months or years, that feeling that they know as normal will become distant, and that deep ache will creep in so gradually that they won’t notice at first. They’ll think it’s a virus, food poisoning or something simple like a pinched nerve that will un-pinch itself soon enough. But the normal doesn’t ever come back. And even though they know something inside of them has veered off track, doctors dismiss them. If they don’t see proof right away they are waved out of clinics and told to go home.

For those people, they never get to experience the dread of the diagnosis. And that’s probably the worst thing of all, if you think about it. Because at least when the diagnosis happens, as harrowing and violent a shift it is, you’re given the time and the resources to comprehend that disaster and you’re given the proper encouragement to heal. Being sick without a diagnosis is like driving a car and seeing a transport truck coming right for you. You grip the wheel in anticipation of the horrific crash, but it never comes. You just get stuck in this loop of fear and impending disaster. You can’t attempt to recover from the crash until the crash happens. It’s that simple. The thing needs to shatter before you can pick up the broken pieces.

More: Chronic pain means I won't be able to keep up my running habit forever

And then to just pile more bricks onto your heavy, aching shoulders, people start telling you that you’re making it all up. It’s in your head. You deliberately veered into oncoming traffic. You must have wanted to live like this. It’s nothing. It’s always nothing; a want for attention is all.

I think it comes down to a lack of empathy. Not enough people stop to imagine that person as their sister, mother, uncle, or friend. They certainly don’t want to think about the fact that it could just as easily happen to them.

“Once you’re in it, it’s okay,” Burroughs says of a diagnosis.

To feel like I am privileged because I was diagnosed with lupus is absurd, but it’s honestly how I feel. I’m one of the lucky ones, I always think, when I read comments on my blog written by people who just want to know why. I just wish they could find a doctor who will listen to them and see them as a person with hopes and dreams.

I guess what I’m really getting at is this: I understand. If you are that person I am writing about, know that I believe you. Don’t second-guess your instincts. Don’t listen to the people who tell you “but you don’t look sick.” I know you are sick. I know you don’t want to be sick. I understand that what you are going through is really hard, and it’s amazing really that you haven’t given up or fallen into a million pieces. And even if you did I wouldn’t blame you, because this is a battle that you shouldn’t have to fight. You should only have to fight against your disease. You shouldn’t have to spend all of your energy battling disbelieving doctors. You shouldn’t have to scream for help. You are important. You deserve answers and I really hope that you get them someday. But even if you remain undiagnosed, you are still one of the sick ones. You are as much a part of this community as someone with a diagnosis.

More: Selena Gomez's lupus confession should remind us not to judge others

If you’re searching and need something to hold onto while you’re stuck in this limbo, please pick up a copy of Furiously Happy by Jenny Lawson, she will give you the support and community you need when you’re struggling. It’s not a hundred different books to choose from but it’s one very special one with lots of heart and encouragement.

And just know this: If the day comes when you are diagnosed it will not feel like the beginning of your death; it will feel like the beginning of a hopeful new chapter.

You are strong. You are believed. You belong here.

This post was originally published on The Mighty and BlogHer.

What if your everyday purchases had the power to do good? What if buying a pair of shoes or new bag could contribute to social change?

These companies have taken the “shopping for good” idea to heart by using a one-for-one model, where a company donates a product to those in need for each product bought. These companies all give back to communities in need and additionally have partnered with Goodshop to give back to a nonprofit or charity. It’s a never-ending cycle of giving back and doing good!

Warby Parker

Need a new pair of eyeglasses or shades? With free home try-ons, you can find a stylish pair that fits you just right, save money using these coupons from Goodshop (that also donates 10 percent of what you spend to your choice of nonprofit) and donate a pair to someone in need all through Warby Parker. The company donates a portion of monthly profits to also train people in developing countries to give basic eye exams and make eyecare available to their communities. That’s a lot of giving back for one company!

Glasses.com

Another site to shop for trendy eyewear, Glasses.com sells all the top designers and styles. In addition to free shipping and returns, you can receive up to 40 percent off your order and use other great deals to save money while donating 8 percent to your favorite cause. The best part is that Glasses.com provides a pair of glasses to someone in need for every pair purchased and works with noprofit OneSight to staff charitable clinics and make vision care accessible to the 1.1 billion people around the world that don’t have access to eye exams.

Out of Print

You can show off your appreciation for great literature and help fund literacy projects and book donation programs with Out of Print, an online store for clothing, accessories and, of course, paper goods. Every product features a book cover or theme from literature and, appropriately, donates a book to a community in need with their partner program, Books for Africa. You can find some great deals to save money on your next purchase.

Better World Books

Looking for a new book to read or just a way to save money on your next literary purchase? Better World Books has over eight million used and new titles. They support book drives and collect used books through a network of over 2,300 college campuses and over 3,000 libraries. For every book purchased, the company donates one to their partners, Books for Africa or Feed the Children. Furthermore, when you use Goodshop coupons, 2.5 percent of your spendings are donated to your favorite cause.

WeWood

If you’re old school and still wear a wristwatch, consider checking out WeWood. These handsome and earth-friendly wooden timepieces are made from scrap-wood and for every watch purchased a tree is planted, with the company’s goal of planting 1 million trees by 2020. 5 percent of what you spend is donated to a nonprofit, so if it’s time to get a new watch, why not help restore Mother Nature?

The Company Store

Did you know one of every 50 children will experience homelessness before the age of 18? The Company Store works to bring comfort to homeless children by donating one comforter to a homeless child in the U.S. By partnering with Family Promise, a leading nonprofit dedicated to helping homeless families, the company is continually working to help children in shelters and has given thousands of comforters every year since 2011. You can help bring comfort to a child by purchasing your new down comforter, duvet, sheets or more while donating 2.5 percent of what you spend to a charity.