My friendship love affair with the so-called "brazen hussies" of the world began in kindergarten. My teacher assigned me a seat next to a pocket-sized blonde who looked like Tinker Bell but had the mouth of a pirate. While my plan was to pretend I didn't have a bladder that first week of school, she'd stand up in the middle of story time and announce to 23 5-year-olds that she had to pee.

Before our teacher gave her permission to go, she's be halfway out the door with a bathroom pass attached to a string dragging on the floor behind her. If the boys required a verbal ass-kicking, she could slay them in three words and win back the toys they stole from us. One day, while coloring pictures in our phonics books, I looked over and noticed Tinker Bell had taken a purple crayon to all of our perfectly nice, beige two-dimensional phonics people. After that, I made it my mission to become her best friend.

More: The very best advice Michelle Obama has dished up over the years

Tink now lives in Massachusetts with her wife and three children, where she continues to defy stereotypes and pee whenever the hell she damn well pleases. The world needs Tink — and quiet introverts like me need bold, nervy and, yes, vocal women like Tink. You are the peanut butter to our chocolate. We're both delicious enough on our own, but put us together and we become the most mind-blowing of combinations.

Tink eventually moved from our neighborhood and changed schools. Over the years, we grew apart. But other Tink-types would replace her and it didn't take long for me to realize I mesh well with vocal women. While I refused to settle my gaze within 10 feet of my junior high school crush, my daring BFF was moseying up to hers every morning in the gymnasium and slipping him love letters. She couldn't have cared less whether he felt the same way about her.

The important thing was that she felt the love and she was going to make him know she was the best thing to ever walk in Doc Martens. I didn't understand how she could be so bold and she couldn't fathom why I'd waste precious time pining in secret and penning poetry about this boy when I could find out, that very afternoon, where I stand and simply move on if my love was unrequited.

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Smart girl.

In the years that followed, other strong, but totally not silent types, would enter my universe and fill it with adventure and life lessons. People would always label me the "quiet one" and call my friends the "crazy ones" or the ones with "big mouths." Most couldn't understand why we chose each other at all. Each time I brought a new friend home and my mother heard that laugh — the uninhibited, throaty, gorgeous laugh all "wild" girls share — she would raise her eyebrows and tell me in private that they were going to get me in trouble. Their moms, on the other hand, loved me, which pissed off my friends to no end. "It's because you're quiet. She has no idea how you really are."

I sometimes wonder what my brazen friends got out of our friendship deal. Loyalty, maybe, and trust. The knowledge that whatever they confided in me was never repeated. I gave them a white room where they could paint their thoughts in bold, squiggly streaks of crimson and, when I contributed my own, they appeared in straight lines of China blue. Neither style nor shade is better than the other and we both purged in ways that were comforting to us, without judgment and without competing for the brighter color.

And I love them — their madness, their ability to live on 11 and shout "fuck you!" and throw their arms around someone without wondering if there will be a consequence.

But I can't help but feel they've given me so much more.

The co-worker-turned-friend who realized I admired her lax attitude toward casual sex and her amazing stories, but encouraged me to honor myself and not aim to be a person I'm not.

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The friend who told me I'd be crazy not to wear that short red dress on my first date with my husband.

The friend who pointed me in the direction of therapy when she noticed I was running away from past issues. Being the "quiet one" isn't the same thing as being the "emotionally bottled-up quiet one" and she was honest enough with me to not allow me to become a shadow of myself.

The bold sister-in-law who wouldn't let me stoically suffer in silence in the hallway of a hospital when I was in labor — who told my doctor to get his F-ing act together.

Brazen, outgoing women, we love you, we need you, we honor you. Never change.

Nothing screams America quite like fireworks on Independence Day. Thousands will gather together all over our great nation to watch gorgeous displays of light splash across the night sky, possibly set to patriotic music or in the backyard with friends. Those songs that sing of rockets' red glare and bombs bursting in air remind us of the wars our country’s military fought for freedom and justice. Yet many of our veterans will be avoiding those fireworks for reasons they may not even be aware of, and you can help them out.

I’ll never forget my first Fourth of July after returning from Afghanistan. I had been back for four months but still hadn’t really been able to sleep well at night. I purposely avoided going to the Army base for the fireworks or downtown because I just didn’t want to deal with the crowds, another element of the holiday weekend that is difficult for some veterans.

More: This soldier had to go to bizarre lengths just to attend a baby shower

Crowds were way too unpredictable and cramped for any real comfort level, and I definitely did not consider them fun at that point. I stayed home and actually fell asleep really early after coming back from a cookout with friends. When I woke up, I was under my bed. I was totally confused about my new location, but it didn’t take long to figure it out. I knew it was the fireworks.

Logically, I knew that it was America’s birthday and that I was safely in my home. Yet my mind and body were still in Afghanistan, doing what they knew to do in order to keep me safe. The fireworks went off, and I instinctively sought cover. Fortunately I went on sleeping, and no harm came to me or anyone around me. Reintegration comes differently for everyone, though. Dealing with post-traumatic stress looks different for people also.

This holiday weekend, be emotionally present for those around you who are attempting to overcome invisible hurdles in their lives. Before you start with the huge neighborhood parties with wine and cocktails and fireworks, take a second to look around for those veterans or military family members that may be adversely impacted by what others consider fun.

Make sure you have a quick conversation, email blast or Facebook post with those in your neighborhood concerning fireworks and a time for the festivities. Try to coordinate fireworks displays with other neighbors so that it can be all at once instead of dragging on into all hours of the night. You may think it won’t make a difference, but it could actually speak volumes for someone dealing with some difficult past experiences.

More: 10 things you're going to have a harder time getting than a gun

For my veterans and others dreading this weekend and all of the revelry, I hear you, and I know your pain. It does not last forever. All wounds heal, but the scars will remain, so take your time. It took about five years for me to get excited about going to see fireworks again, and I still cannot watch any movies about the Afghanistan or Iraq wars — I just won’t do it.

Set your boundaries, and respect your own healing process. Most of all, seek help from your local veteran-focused nonprofit if you are ready to start making a drastic change in the direction toward your new normal.

This holiday is really about Americans coming together to achieve great things. In that same spirit, come together in your own communities to keep everyone informed on the festivities and fun fest. Our flag has gotten a little bit battered and bruised over the years, and the country surely is not perfect now, but it’s still our America.

That’s a cause to celebrate.

Before you go, check out our slideshow below:

Run out right now and buy some glitter stars so you can make these layered 4th of July spiked Jell-O shots. This recipe comes to us from NYC's Monarch Rooftop Lounge executive mixologist Genese DeBeaux. I suppose you could make nonalcoholic versions for the kids if you've got a clever system for keeping them separate. But come on, don't you think the grown-ups could use some Jell-O shots fun?

More: 11 layered shot recipes and how to pour them

4th of July spiked Jell-O shots recipe

Yields 20 – 30

Ingredients:

• 2 cups vodka (or spirit of your choice), divided
• 1 package red Jell-O (flavor of your choice)
• 1 package blue Jell-O
• 1 package unflavored gelatin
• 3 cups water, divided
• 1 (14-ounce) can condensed milk

Directions:

1. Starting with the bottom layer, heat 1 cup of water to a boil, and dissolve the package of red Jell-O completely. Add 1 cup of vodka (or spirit of your choice), and then fill the shot glasses 1/3 of the way with the mixture. Let set 1 – 2 hours in the refrigerator.
2. Heat 1 cup of water to a boil, and dissolve the package of unflavored gelatin completely. Add the condensed milk, and stir, mixing well. Let the mixture cool for a few minutes, and then pour it over the red layer another 1/3 of the way. Let set 1 – 2 hours in the refrigerator.
3. Heat 1 cup of water to a boil, and dissolve the package of blue Jell-O completely. Add 1 cup of vodka (or spirit of your choice), and then fill up the shot glasses the rest of the way. Let set 1 – 2 hours in the refrigerator.

More: The Pop Rocks Jell-O shots your 4th of July bash absolutely needs

Worried that Starbucks is getting annoyed by all the rainbow drink orders? Think again! One look at the coffee chain's Instagram proves it is fully on board with the trend.

The rainbow drinks are totally perfect for summer when you aren't exactly craving the roasted, toasted flavor of iced coffee but still want something cool to drink. They're usually a blend of tea, flavoring and nondairy milk. Of the few I've tried so far, the black tea + matcha + coconut milk Green Drink is my favorite.

More: Someone needs to tell you: You're drinking the wrong-colored Starbucks drink

But an anonymous Starbucks employee sent us a tip on what the next hot color will be, and it could totally blow the rest of the rainbow out of the water.

That's right, y'all — get ready for Clear Drink! A refreshing blend of water and ice, the drink is the most Instagrammable creation this side of the clear waters of the Caribbean. Imagine how envious your friends will be when they see this sparkling, diamond-esque beauty pop up in their feed.

More: People love Starbucks' Purple Drink, but no one actually knows what it is

All you have to do to order one is ask your barista for water and ice. Luckily it's pretty simple, so even if they don't know what Clear Drink is, they should still be able to get it right. And best of all? It's totally free.

Of course, if Clear Drink's not your thing, you could always go with the elegant Brown Drink — it even has caffeine to keep you alert in the summer heat.

At least it feels like that's where we're headed, doesn't it? With a new color coming out seemingly every week, it's only a matter of time before someone tries to co-opt water as part of the trend. And when they do? You can say you saw it here first, folks.

More: Put down that Frappuccino, because Starbucks just created something better

OK, who had a month in the "how long will it take the media to squeeze a baby name out of Keri Russell" pool? Time to collect your prize! Russell gave birth back on May 30 to her third child, but she managed to hide both the name and the gender until this week.

And while we're using the word "prize" very loosely here, the name The Americans actress and co-star Matthew Rhys chose for their new little guy (yup, she gave birth to a boy) definitely falls under winning baby names out of Hollywood.

More: Little Women star's happy pregnancy news comes with scary risk

In an interview with Matt Lauer on The Today Show, Russell says they've named their first child together (her third) Sam.

Go ahead, and let your "aww" out. This one falls firmly on the list of cute baby names from Hollywood we wouldn't mind stealing for our own kids.

With a base in Hebrew, the nickname for Samuel means "sun child" or "bright sun," and if you're into numerology, apparently people with this name "have a deep inner desire to use their abilities in leadership and to have personal independence." Pretty auspicious for a little guy, don't you think?

More: No kid should come home from day care looking like this

And despite it sounding common, Russell and Rhys likely won't have to worry about their son meeting a dozen other Sams on the playground. While Samuel was 23rd on last year's most popular baby names list from the Social Security Administration, the nickname falls all the way down at 554th, proving that sometimes a small twist on a popular name can set your kid apart (without setting them up as a target for the mean kids who pick on unusual names).

Russell also has two daughters, Willa and River, who welcomed home their new baby brother, who, according to Mom, is "big and fat and nice."

Exactly how a baby should be!

Congratulations to the whole family.

Before you go, check out our slideshow below:

When Boy Meets World ended, it was one of the saddest finales of my little heart. I knew that Cory and Topanga would continue on as the happiest married couple there ever was, but I was worried about the rest of the characters. Specifically, I worried for Shawn.

More: INTERVIEW: Girl Meets World cast talks Boy Meets World

Who would finally make him want to give up his bad-boy tendencies? Would someone finally give him the family he’s always wanted? How does he wear that leather jacket in the summer?

I had a lot of questions.

It looks like I’ll finally get the answers to most of my questions.

More: Girl Meets World: 6 reasons you absolutely need to watch

In the newest episode, Shawn (played by old-school heartthrob Rider Strong) asks his best friend Cory to help him pop the question to his on-again, off-again love Katy (Cheryl Texiera). He explains that he’s deeply in love with her and wants to spend the rest of his life with her.

I don’t know what it is about watching one of my childhood crushes get married that makes me so happy. I mean, I’m a grown woman who fully understands that this is a TV show, but I can’t help but be obsessed with it. Even if it isn’t Angela, the first woman to tame Shawn and show him unconditional love, it’s someone who can definitely create a family with Shawn.

More: Girl Meets World: Angela's back, but she shouldn't get back with Shawn

See? I care way too much.

I have to admit that I haven’t been watching Girl Meets World since it started airing, but I might have to start. Between the Shawn Hunter proposal and the constant nostalgic throwbacks to Boy Meets World (including the opening credits), it seems like a show that’s really dedicated to pleasing its older fans who are there for Boy Meets World, as well as get new fans who are experiencing these iconic characters for the first time.

Also, I need to keep watching because I still don’t know how Shawn manages to wear a black leather jacket during the summer.

It's been years since I have swum in the water with my children. "Mommy doesn't swim," my daughter said the other day like it was common knowledge. Something everyone knew. And yet I do. Or I did. Before children and stretch marks and thigh self-consciousness made me want to cover up all summer long. So when Jennifer Weiner posted her call on social media for moms to actually wear their bathing suits, get into the water with their kids and show their kids that their bodies are OK, it resonated.

See below:

I will admit that half the reason I don't swim is hair related. The reality is that the other half is body related. I'd just prefer to stay in shorts, because things jiggle and move in ways they never did when I was in my 20s, before kids.

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The truth is, I have never been very comfortable in bathing suits. Not since puberty. They just offer so much information about my body. Our town pool sometimes feels like we are all putting our bodies on display, and that makes me feel self-conscious around parents I typically see in a much more "clothed" scenario. Bathing suits feel sexy and revealing, and when I am with my kids, I want to feel neither.

But my daughter's words — and Weiner's post — have made me realize the kids pick up on my reluctance. And it will be passed down if I don't start showing up. And taking off the shorts.

My body isn't perfect. I have had three kids. I have stretch marks, and my metabolism isn't what it once was. But I am active. I am a yoga teacher and runner who appreciates my body for all the things it can do, including the miraculous feat of bringing my three children into this world. A bathing suit is just a piece of fabric. It is revealing, but it doesn't reveal the truth. Washboard abs and ripped arms are lovely to behold, but the body of a mother is a whole other kind of amazing. Why are we hiding that from the world? From our children?

More: Well, Bethenny Frankel just got really real about her health issues

I am spending the next couple of weeks at my family's lake house, and I plan to swim. No more hiding under cover-ups and shorts. Thank you, Jennifer Weiner, for telling me what I should already know: My body is exactly as it should be. And it's a miracle.

So, is Alexander Skarsgård really ready to pop the question?

More: Alexander Skarsgård mysteriously dresses up in drag for red carpet (PHOTOS)

Skarsgård has been dating Alexa Chung since 2015, and although the two are seriously private about their relationship, rumors have been flying about whether they're planning on taking the next step in their relationship.

And Skarsgård was forced to confront those rumors when he appeared on Bravo's Watch What Happens Live to promote his new movie, The Legend of Tarzan. A viewer who called in during the show told Skarsgård that she had read in a tabloid that he's ready to get down on one knee, and asked him if there was any truth to the report.

Skarsgård, who appeared caught off-guard by the question, replied, "Wow, I hope I'm invited. Wow, thank you."

More: Who's hotter: Alexander Skarsgård vs. Joe Manganiello

Host Andy Cohen decided to dig deeper, though, asking, "Are you getting married in the next year?"

Skarsgård answered, "Not that I know of. But if it's in a gossip magazine, I guess it's probably true, so [I'd] better get started."

This isn't the first time Skarsgård has said something in an interview that made him seem happy about his single life. In another recent interview, he denied having any desire yet to settle down.

"I'm not married. I don't have kids," he said "I feel OK about it. No midlife crisis yet."

But that doesn't mean family isn't important to Skarsgård, who says he's extremely close to his Swedish father and brothers.

"Almost all my siblings live within a four-block radius, and every night my dad will cook for whoever swings by," he explained. "There's a big dinner party almost every night of the week."

More: PHOTO: Alexander Skarsgård drops trou in the South Pole

Do you think Alexander Skarsgård and Alexa Chung are headed toward marriage?

In between enjoying meals at Sur, Yolanda Foster's ex-husband Mohamed Hadid has been developing a home so big, so ugly and with such potentially dangerous construction that all the neighbors hate him for it. The Daily Mail reports that we almost learned more about the situation in a profile in Vanity Fair, but editor Graydon Carter mysteriously pulled the story.

More: Yolanda Foster's ex defends their children after Lyme disease claims

The Daily Mail tells the "saga" of how Hadid is now facing criminal charges for the development of the 300,000 square foot mansion. Joe Horacek, a neighbor and entertainment lawyer, is quoted throughout as the leader of the opposition to the construction. "He created a monster both for himself and his neighbors," said Horacek. "But unfortunately, it is us neighbors who are being punished more than him." The house has reportedly caused small landslides in the neighborhood, and Hadid is now removing parts of it, perhaps to satisfy local demand. Hadid is due in court next Friday on three misdemeanor counts relating to construction.

More: Don't ask Bella Hadid about RHOBH — she isn't interested in watching it

As for Vanity Fair, which has yet to comment on the accusations, The Daily Mail is comparing it to Carter's decision to kill a story on Gwyneth Paltrow after she sent a mass email asking friends to pull the magazine's access. For Vanity Fair, it may be more valuable to have access to Gigi and Bella Hadid, Mohamed's daughters, than one journalistic story on their father.

More: Zayn Malik and Gigi Hadid have big, really big plans for their future

MSNBC Morning Joe host Mika Brzezinski, 49, has "quietly split" from her husband, Jim Hoffer, an investigative reporter at Eyewitness News WABC-TV. The couple wed in October 1993 and are parents to daughters Carlie and Emilie. When the news was confirmed by an MSNBC spokesperson, many people expressed surprise that their 22-year marriage has come to an end. But why do we tend to equate a long marriage to a strong marriage?

More: 50 things I've learned from being married 50 years

There’s no shortage of celebrity couples who’ve gone their separate ways after lengthy marriages. In 2010, 73-year-old Morgan Freeman divorced wife Myrna Colley-Lee after a 26-year marriage. Robert Redford and Lola Van Wagenen were married for 27 years before making the mutual decision to divorce in 1985. And high school sweethearts former Vice President Al Gore and Tipper Gore separated in 2010, just after their 40th wedding anniversary.

Is there some unwritten rule that after you’ve been married for a significant length of time — say, 10 years — you’re in for the long haul whether you like it or not? When all of the above couples announced their splits, the world went into a state of shock. It’s the same in non-celebrity land. We’re far more surprised to hear of a 20-year-married couple separating than one who tied the knot only five minutes ago.

More: Let's stop pretending being married at 40 is the only way to be happy

A long marriage can be a really strong marriage, but not necessarily more so than one where the ink is still drying on the marriage certificate. There are far too many variables to make this a black-and-white issue. Don't we all know long-term-married couples who simply tolerate each other? They stay married for a wide range of reasons: finances, kids, fear of the unknown. And they are all perfectly legitimate reasons. Love and relationships and marriage are complicated beasts, and what works for one person may not for the next. On the flip side, we all also know long-term-married couples who appear to be just as crazy in love as they were when they were in the first flush of romance.

Longevity can bring a great sense of trust, security, a deep love that evolves over time and endures no matter what is thrown at a couple. But it can also bring boredom, resentment, complacency and panic. Surely what gives a marriage its strength — crucial to its survival — is the relationship between the two people? It either has all the necessary ingredients, or it doesn’t. There’s no expiry date, but there's no probationary period either.

Getting divorced after 22, 25 or 50 years is nothing to be ashamed of. Of course it's going to be painful. But it could also be the chance to find your next great love.

More: You might be missing these signs that you're a toxic partner

Planning to bring something to that Fourth of July cookout? Fantastic. Just don't trouble us with America's Least Wanted Dishes.

Flag cake

Nobody thinks you’re clever.

Crudités

Do I look like I came here to fuck around? Your barbecue invite means I have to spend two hours in traffic. When I walk through that door, I’m heading straight to the grill, putting a hot dog inside a hamburger and dunking that bitch in ranch dressing and potato chips. I came to win. I don't need your passive-aggressive baby carrots looking at me while I'm doing so.

Simple grilled vegetables

There will be those people who eat nothing but grilled vegetables at the party to keep up appearances and be forced to suffer as they watch everyone else have a good time with hot dogs. Parties are not supposed to be real life. Force your perpetually dieting friends to live a little. And make them get some carbs into their system, because those people are going to be the ones hitting that vodka-soaked watermelon hard.

More: 21 grilled chicken recipes in flavors you didn't even know you want

Your world-famous whatever

It’s not world-famous! You don’t get to decide what’s famous! Someone, get on Twitter right now, and be like, “Hey, Russia, you guys ever had Dave’s dried-out chicken wings covered in Goya adobo? He says it’s world-famous.” How’s it going to feel when you get schooled by your 12-year-old nephew with an iPhone, Uncle Dave?

Warm French lentil salad

So you think you’re better than me now?

Anything covered in barbecue sauce

I hate being sticky. I hate having barbecue sauce all over my face. I hate having my face attacked by bees. I hate running in circles in your yard while trying to eat chicken when I’m not screaming at the top of my lungs that I’m being murdered by bees.

Food made to look like bald eagles

You’ve already failed just by thinking you’ll be able to pull this off.

More: 16 struggles only condiment addicts will understand

Deviled eggs

Why are you putting hard-boiled eggs in the hot sun? Better question: Why are you giving people copious amounts of alcohol in the hot sun, then feeding them hard-boiled eggs?

Slow-smoked pork shoulder

Unless you are a professional or a serious hobbyist, you do not know how to do this. You will spend two weeks on Facebook hyping this up and then stage a countdown the moment the first guest walks in the door. It will taste like ashes burning, and everyone will be forced to pretend they like it. You know it’s terrible and that you’ve wasted eight hours of your life, and you will know everyone is lying to you. They will all talk about how disgusting it was on their way home and how sorry they are for you. You will sit up that night, alone, eating the leftovers, hoping to make the experience worthwhile. Every bite is a reminder of your hubris, your failure. You can hear everyone laughing at you in your head. You head into the living room and turn on the television. A program about competitive barbecues is on Travel Channel. You cradle your face in your hands, trying to muffle your sobbing so as to not wake the children.

Fireball Jell-O shots

Goddamn it, you’re not in college anymore, Uncle Dave! Put your shirt on!

Orzo salad

Oh my God, why? Why are you doing this to me? Why are you making a salad with teeny-tiny pasta and itsy-bitsy vegetables, then giving it to me with a flimsy-ass paper plate and a plastic fork and expecting me to eat it off my lap in a lawn chair. It is not 2003 anymore, so I know your ass has attempted to do this at least once, and you’re kidding yourself if you think this is not going to end up on my pants. Then again, maybe that’s what you want. Maybe you’re pissed I rock a side dish better than you. So we’re starting the party like that, are we?

More: 20 Independence Day desserts that make your 4th sweeter

Bring this instead

Hamburgers and hot dogs

This is what I expect when I come to your barbecue. You want to get fancy with a grilled lobster-stuffed lamb breast, go right ahead. But the hot dogs and hamburgers had better be there, or I'm making my husband pee in your bushes. I'd do it myself, but you know how it is being a chick and having to squat and bushes being pinchy and all. I'm incredibly jealous of dudes' ability to pee on things. You people are probably lucky I can't do this.

Grilled shrimp

It shows you’re willing to spend the extra money on me because you care. I love that about you.

Guacamole

Whatever amount of guacamole you were intending to make, please make 10 times that amount. There’s nothing worse than getting to a party and learning you missed the guacamole. In fact, if all you made was the hamburgers, hot dogs and 46 gallons of guacamole, I’m pretty sure everyone would agree that it was the best barbecue ever.

Happy Fourth of July, everyone! Eat well.

In great news for the Fox Austin Green clan, their publicists and their fans, Megan Fox and Brian Austin Green decided to move onwards and upwards and forget about that whole separation thing. According to People, they've called off their divorce and are prepping for baby No. 3.

More: Forget acting — Megan Fox is investigating the truth behind the pyramids

As soon as the news broke that Fox was pregnant — and speculation ended over the daddy-to-be — the couple began spending time together again in public. They spent a much-photographed vacation together in Hawaii, and seemed very much the happy Hollywood couple. Now, insiders say they're giving the marriage a second shot.

"Brian and Megan are living together in Malibu with their boys," a source told People. "They have been getting along and seem very happy. They are just waiting for the baby to arrive."

More: Megan Fox and Brian Austin Green had a very modern marriage problem

They already have two children, Noah Shannon and Bodhi Ransom, and have been married for five years. "During their separation, Brian always hoped Megan would change her mind about the divorce and he is very happy that she did," the source says. "They both worked hard to figure out their marriage and things seem great."

Kudos to the couple for working through some very difficult issues with the added pressures of the paparazzi. Now, how to explain to their youngest child that their parents were about to be divorced when mom got pregnant?

More: Megan Fox accidentally disses Ellen DeGeneres for her age

One day, someone will tell my child that they were my second choice. They might not use those words — they might not even be speaking directly to my child — but they’ll say something, somehow, that suggests it. They’ll be wrong.

My fiancé and I realized we had serious long-term potential fairly early. A few months into dating, we got to talking about kids, not in a “what will we name them?” way, but more in an abstract, figuring-out-each-other’s-stances way. That conversation led to a heartening discovery: We were both deeply interested in adopting.

More: Here's what happens when a mom takes photographs of herself giving birth

We each had slightly different reasons: I was vaguely afraid of pregnancy, and similarly nervous about passing on a few mild genetic issues. He felt like the world had enough people, and he didn’t personally want to add to that. We shared our largest motivation in common: There were kids who needed families, and we both wanted, so badly, to be that for someone.

The conversation came up a few more times before we got engaged, and by the time we were planning a wedding we both knew for certain that one day we’d adopt. Once we got engaged, it seemed more normal to talk to friends or family about it, and I discovered something I’d never expected:

People are weird about adoption.

No one’s been exactly negative about it. My mom expressed a vague disappointment that she wouldn’t get to see our “pretty babies,” but she was clearly saying it in jest and was obviously completely on board. A friend made a similar joke, and noted that family resemblance was one of her driving motivations for even wanting kids. An older family member said it far plainer: “Why would they adopt if they can have their own?”

More: 19 DIYs every mom should have in her arsenal

I don’t mind these reactions themselves or the people who made them, but the ideas behind them worry me. Adoption is pegged as a second choice, something people only turn to when they discover they’re infertile or when they don’t have a partner with whom they can reproduce.

This isn’t to speak ill of people who adopt for those reasons — they’re perfectly good reasons, after all — but the cultural undertone that adopted children are a consolation prize makes me ache.

You can see this online, too. Nearly every article talking about the adoption experience mentions this in some way or another. There’s the story of a mom whose first social worker — who was pregnant at the time herself — discouraged the would-be adoptive mom from creating a nursery. When the author asked if the worker had a nursery set up in her own home, she responded in the affirmative, stating it was because her baby was a “sure thing.”

Then there's the oft-seen “adoption is not the same as having a child of your own,” which pops up in internet comment sections. A similar sentiment tops Show Hope’s piece about misguided things people say to adoptive parents: “Do you have any children of your own?”

I know what all of these comments intend to mean, but I also hear what they’re saying: Adoption’s a fallback. If you can have biological children, you should. They’re better. More real. More yours.

That’s nonsense.

I want to adopt because one day, a person will be in a situation they weren’t ready for. For whatever reason, they’ll decide to have the baby anyway. That child will need a family. It will need parents who want it more than anything in the world, and the chips will fall in a way that lands that baby in my arms.

More: Reborn pregnancies are a real thing, and they're kind of heartbreaking

That child, just like every adopted child, will not be a next-best thing. They will be the love of my and my fiancé’s lives. I’m not a mother yet, but I can already see one of the biggest, most important jobs I’ll have once I am. One day, someone will tell my child that they were my second choice. If I’ve done my job right, my child will know better.

One person was present at the deaths of both Whitney Houston and Bobbi Kristina Brown — and law enforcement does not think it's a coincidence.

A grand jury has been probing what, if any, involvement Nick Gordon had in the drowning death of Bobbi Kristina, and a source says that if charges are brought against him in that case, chances are good that Gordon will be investigated in Houston's death as well.

More: Bobby Brown has no problem pointing fingers in his daughter's death

"There are obvious similarities between the way they both were bruised and drugged in bathtubs — and Nick was nearby both times," the law enforcement insider told Radar Online.

Gordon's friend and alleged drug dealer is prepared to testify against him in both cases if it gets that far.

Max Lomas claims he and his girlfriend, Danyela Bradley, witnessed Gordon beating Bobbi Kristina twice on the evening they eventually found her floating facedown in her bathtub. Bobbi Kristina's estate has sued Gordon for $40 million in a wrongful death suit, alleging that after he beat her, he gave her a toxic cocktail of drugs that knocked her out and contributed to her death.

More: Bobby Brown is blaming more than just Nick Gordon for Bobbi Kristina's death

Houston was found under similar circumstances: floating lifeless in a bathtub at the Beverly Hills Hotel with bruises on her body. An autopsy found cocaine in her system.

Bobbi Kristina's father, Bobby Brown, discovered that she too had bruises all over her body when she was admitted to the hospital, but he initially thought they were from a minor car accident she had been in days earlier. Bradley, who was in the car with her, disputes this.

"I have spoken to Danyela again about Bobbi Kristina not having any bruises after the accident," her sister Lidiane Guedes said. "She said Bobbi Kristina had no bruises visible or otherwise! If Bobby Brown wants to ask me about this, I will be more than happy to talk to him."

The investigation continues.

More: Bobbi Kristina Brown, Whitney Houston murder accusations heat up

Before you go, check out our slideshow below.

In further proof that Jessica Simpson's Instagram is one of the best celebrity feeds out there, she shared a bunch of photos from her son Ace Knute's third birthday party. The theme? Dinosaurs. The cake? A massive volcano. The events? Hanging out in bathing suits and playing with prehistoric toys, not to mention your pop star and NFL parents. Doesn't sound too bad for only three years on Earth.

More: Jessica Simpson makes a loaded statement about her marriage to Nick Lachey

Ace Knute wasn't the only young Simpson to join in on the fun. His older sister, Maxwell Drew, helped celebrate. Simpson told People that the siblings get along well, although they have a classic younger-older dynamic. "She definitely lets her brother know that she’s the oldest and that she is in charge,” she said. "Ace is finally starting to stand up for himself."

More: Jessica Simpson's husband gets oddly cozy with her mom

As E! Online points out, Simpson's party day outfit is a Dolce & Gabbana number that cost a casual $1,700. Your child's birthday is basically your birthday, so why not treat yourself? Good for you, mama.

Simpson has teased that she's been spending plenty of time in her basement-turned-home-studio, so we may see some new music from the pop star sometime in 2016. Could we see Ace and Maxwell roaring on a track?

More: Jessica Simpson gushes over her daughter's latest accomplishment

You thought you were doing the right thing all of these years. You've been saying "no" to butter and watching in horror (and envy) as your co-workers slather their corn muffins with the delectable saturated fat, all the while attempting to convince yourself that hummus or, my God, worse, Vegemite, is a superior spread substitute. You've been led to believe even a pat of butter a week will lead to heart disease, diabetes, the Bubonic plague and the burning in hell for all eternity. You're not at fault for thinking butter is the culinary Lucifer.

But it's all been a lie. Lies!

A new study published in PLOS ONE is proving, once and for all, that there is zero link between butter and diseases, like cardiovascular disease. And, get ready to clutch your pearls and popcorn with extra butter, because it gets better: After analyzing the health data of 636,151 people in 15 countries, the study found butter can actually help decrease one's risk of getting diabetes. A person who enjoyed one tablespoon of butter each day — and let there be no question, that only pure enjoyment has been experienced by this maverick, who DGAF — has a four percent lower risk of diabetes than the rest of us health-conscious fools.

More: Skim milk is a great, big lie, just as you always suspected

As with most studies, there's far more to the findings than: Butter is a delicious miracle, all hail butter, let's eat more butter and live longer. In fact, for each of those tablespoons of butter eaten every day, researchers found a one percent increase in all-cause mortality (as in, death from anything that can possibly kill you). Now, it isn't clear whether the butter itself is to blame — the theory going is that people who eat butter on a regular basis are probably also ignoring all of the other annoying health warnings about not eating aforementioned muffins, pancakes, fried steak and pecan sticky buns.

Overall, the study calls the association between butter and mortality, cardiovascular disease and diabetes "small or neutral." Instead of thinking of butter as the horrible ex your therapist told you to stop stalking on Facebook for the sake of your mental health, it's more like that guy who always fell asleep in your Western Civilization class and whose name no one could remember. Butter is kind of just there — there are far better choices and there are worse choices, like margarine in stick form. Margarine in stick form is the devil incarnate.

This important health reminder from the study pretty much sums up what we've learned: " ...These results suggest that health effects of butter should be considered against the alternative choice. For instance, butter may be a more healthful choice than the white bread or potato on which it is commonly spread. In contrast, margarines, spreads, and cooking oils rich in healthful oils, such as soybean, canola, flaxseed, and extra-virgin olive oil, appear to be healthier choices than either butter or refined grains, starches, and sugars."

More: What happens to your body when you cut dairy

We should still opt for olive oil or ghee over butter, but from now on, when someone you're dining with recoils in fear when you add a sliver of butter to your roll, you can be like, "It's cool, it's just butter. PLOS ONE told me so."

If you asked fans of Rachel Brathen, aka Instagram's famous yoga_girl, what her three favorite things are, they'd probably tell you yoga, Insta and her pet goat Penny. On Friday, we learned that those fans would be very, very wrong.

More: I don't work out because I want to look good

Brathen took to her 1.9 million followers on Instagram, to express her frustration with the inauthenticity of social media. It's something many of us have felt, or at least have recognized, but to see someone of her stature speak — or snap — like this, is almost a shock.

She touches on the hypocrisy of sponsored Instagram posts, the exploitation and sexualization of women in "fitness" photos and sad state of photos that get likes, in a caption nearing 500 words.

Brathen writes, "I look at this social media world and don't fucking know what's going on. In one way there is a lot of beauty here. When I'm authentic I get authenticity back and it's the most powerful thing. But some days I look around and a part of me goes WHAT ARE ALL THESE PEOPLE DOING?! Every post I see is skinny people in yoga poses with a Gandhi quote pasted below. Or a girl's ass, hashtag #squats. Or fake cross promotions. Or hidden ads for weight loss teas or dating apps. I HATE ALL THIS SHIT."

More: 7 yogis you'll want to stalk on Snapchat

She expands on her frustration, which includes the fact that people seem more focused on bikini photos than charity. Uh, yes, that does sound A) very believable and B) awful to deal with on a daily basis. She continues, "Did you know that every time I post a real, authentic post with WORDS and FEELINGS I lose 2-6 thousand followers? Per post! I get the lowest engagement on posts that promote philanthropy and social missions. It kills me that @109world [her yoga website] is struggling while people like Kylie Jenner is making millions selling lipgloss to teenagers."

She ends with a call to action for her fans, and others with strong Instagram followings, to use their powers for good instead of simply to make money or make others feel like their lives need to be more photogenic. "I have dedicated my influence to making this world a better place," she says. "I run a global non profit, an animal rescue, and a platform for healing. Everything I've ever promoted has gone to better the world because I feel so strongly that using this influence for anything else would be plain ridiculous... If you have an IG account with any sort of influence, what are you really doing here? Why am I so alone in ACTING to make a change? I feel so unmotivated right now. I don't want to succumb to sharing the bullshit that gets 'likes' but it's so discouraging to see massive declines in interest whenever I share something real. Don't you ever wonder about our purpose here? Well... I do."

As Cosmopolitan points out, Brathen rarely works with brands and makes a point to be encouraging to her followers rather than "make them jealous." Instead of selling, say, diet tea, she makes her living teaching yoga in Aruba and in conferences around the world.

In the garbage world that is social media, her account is one of the rare beacons of positivity, that also happens to have millions of followers. Let's hope that she's just having a bad day and looking to inspire change, not delete her account. The photo has gotten almost 23,000 likes so far, which, thankfully, is three thousand more than her last bikini pic.

More: The benefits of hot yoga are not to be ignored

Amber Rose claims that more than 20 women have told her that Kanye West's fashion protégé Ian Connor assaulted them — and Connor's reaction is far from helping his case.

Rose, who dated West before he married Kim Kardashian, revealed in an interview with The Daily Beast that 21 women have contacted her about being assaulted by Connor. Seven women have formally come forward online.

More: Lady Gaga's new tattoo honors sexual assault survivors

"Because I have my SlutWalk, all of the women [who've accused Ian Connor] have reached out to me as well. They want to come to my SlutWalk and tell their story on my stage," Rose said. "I have that platform for them to do so. I'm not a lawyer. I can't prosecute anyone or say, 'What she's saying is exactly the truth.' I wasn't there. Honestly, seven came out and I'm pretty sure 21 women have reached out to me so far. So I'm assuming there are more [stories] coming out. It's innocent until proven guilty, but when you have 21 women from all over the world that do not know each other but have similar stories, it gets to the point where it's like… enough."

Rose is not the first person to bring these allegations to light. Several alleged victims have stepped forward to tell their own stories in recent years. But rather than defending himself like a mature adult, Connor decided that shaming the messenger and victim blaming were his best options.

More: Bill Cosby's daughter releases a statement you've got to see

Connor also worked for Rose's ex, Wiz Khalifa.

We are not in the business of disbelieving women when they say they have been victimized. We will concede that it would suck pretty badly to stand accused of a horrendous crime if you were, in fact, innocent. However, if that is the case, better to let your legal counsel handle it than dig a deeper grave for yourself by reacting the way Connor did. This has quickly become a case of "Methinks he doth protest too much," and it's not a good look.

More: Amber Rose shuts down slut-shamers with self-empowering tirade

Before you go, check out our slideshow below.

Squirting has officially been a thing for a few years now — mostly thanks to the ubiquity of porn. Whether you’ve done it spontaneously or have never heard of this popular sexual activity, I want to bust some myths before I get anywhere near the "how-tos."

Female ejaculation is not a party trick and it’s not something you should do because your boyfriend wants you to. Taking that a step further — you shouldn’t do anything in bed because your partner thinks it’s cool, or because he wants to show off his sexual prowess.

More: Everyone is a little sexually fluid, including you

Sometimes sexual trends are just that — trends. You don’t have to rock the sexual equivalent of this year’s patchwork skirt — it’s not a look that works for everyone. Squirting entered the sexual lexicon in the last few years and has gone rather mainstream. (We know this because of how often it’s searched on PornHub.) A lot of (mostly young) men are really excited about what it means — for them — if they can make their partner squirt. The question is — are you curious about what it means for you?

Remember, if you haven’t done it yet and don’t plan to, you’re not necessarily missing out — but on the other hand, it could be your sexual holy grail. If you have tried it and felt "meh" about it — that’s perfectly fine, too.

What squirting actually is

So, what is squirting, exactly? Scientists are still a bit confused about what’s happening inside the vagina during "female ejaculation" — or colloquially speaking, squirting. When women experience spontaneous squirting, which happens more often than you may think, they often feel like they’ve peed (because so much liquid is expelled). This can lead to major embarrassment, especially for younger, less sexually experienced women. Rest assured — squirting is not peeing.

Even though it’s still unclear exactly what’s in female ejaculate, one thing we know is that it’s not urine, even though it can occasionally have some urine mixed in.

The other major squirting myth is that it’s the equivalent of an orgasm, or always happens simultaneously with an orgasm. That’s certainly not the case. Squirting can happen before, during and after an orgasm, but it sometimes it does happen at the same time, which can cause an intense sensation of pleasure and release.

More: Lessons learned from 31 days of orgasms

Although research is nil (scientists, please get with the program), squirting is thought to be the result of liquid coming from the Skene’s glands, which come through the urethra — this is why there is a lot of confusion related to peeing in the realm of squirting.

OK, I'm ready to squirt — how do I get there?

Squirting seems to happen when the G-spot is stimulated at the same time as the clitoris. Ladies, your G-spot is NOT a myth, but you might have trouble finding it, because not all women have access to their G-spot. If you’ve tried with toys or your partner, but can’t seem to locate it — there’s nothing wrong with you! The vast majority of women orgasm solely from clitoral stimulation — and that’s perfect as it is.

If your G-spot is accessible, it’s most likely found on the upper wall (closest to the belly) of the vagina, near the opening. Your partner can easily find it by making a “come here” signal with his or her pointer finger while it’s inside of you. Toys can also get to this spot, and sometimes (but rarely) the penis can hit it in the right place. This will entirely be a matter of how you and your partner "fit" together, and again, if he or she doesn’t hit you in that spot — there’s nothing wrong with either of you. But this kind of targeted arousal of clit and G-spot at the same time tends to be the thing that gets women squirting.

One of the major keys to squirting is relaxation — it’s very hard to do if you’re tense. You also need to be genuinely aroused — very aroused. So, this is something you should only attempt with a partner that you feel very comfortable with, and it’s worth talking about beforehand. It’s also wise to put down some towels, because you could create something of a tsunami on the mattress. (Not all women expel that much liquid, though — you might just have a small amount.) Also — empty your bladder (you should always do this before and after sex, no matter what.) Again, squirting is not peeing, but in order to squirt, you should bear down (as if you’re about to urinate!) while getting close to orgasm.

More: I learned to have a better orgasm from a virtual vagina and so can you

If you try this and you don’t squirt, but it feels divinely awesome — why stop doing it? You’ve just found a new way to experience pleasure, and that’s a win no matter what. You might also find, with practice, that squirting eventually happens. Like with all things sexual, you never know until you try (and try again). It might happen once and not again, or it might happen after trying a bunch of times — like an orgasm, it’s not necessarily something you can be certain of — you just have to be open to it.

Goal-oriented sex can make you feel really bad about sex, especially if you don’t meet your intended goals. So remember that not everyone can, or should, squirt. Your pleasure can come entirely from elsewhere. Some women love to squirt as an adjunct to their orgasms because it provides a sense of release that they’ve never felt before. But you’re not some women — you’re you.

Do you squirt? Do you plan to try it out with your partner? Please share your most slippery thoughts in the comments, to help us celebrate the #summerofsex.

Soccer might be the most famous sport in the world, but I'd argue that the sport of selfies is overtaking it — and that's not just an anecdotal observation. According to orthopedists, more and more people are coming into their offices with carpal tunnel and other arm injuries as a result of constant picture taking.

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"In recent years we've been seeing an increase in carpal tunnel syndrome and tendinitis from overuse in teens, where 10 to 15 years ago it was mostly scraped knees and falling off a bike," Dr. Charles Kim, a musculoskeletal rehab specialist at Rusk Rehabilitation at NYU Langone Medical Center, told Elle. "We are actually seeing a lot more distress injuries in younger patients because of the way they use technology."

And adults, too. NBC Today host Hoda Kotb revealed to the magazine that she went to the doctor to alleviate her phone-associated pain.

"I went to the orthopedist and he said, 'Are you playing tennis or ping-pong?' And of course I'm not, so I told him I was taking selfies," Kotb told Elle. "When you take the picture, your arm is up, bent in a weird way and you just click, click, click — think about how many you take: 20, 30 or 40. Selfie elbow, everyone has it!"

More: You can officially stop feeling guilty about eating all that butter

But don't assume that this whole phone-related injury thing is new — it's actually been a problem since the days of Blackberry phones (remember those?!).

"People would get tendinitis in their thumb because they were on their Blackberries all the time," Dr. Jordan Metzl, a sports medicine physician at New York's Hospital for Special Surgery, added to the magazine. "You get tennis elbow from playing too much tennis — or having poor form — and you get selfie elbow from taking too many selfies. You put too much stress on the muscle and it irritates the area where the muscle comes off the bone and you get this inflammatory response."

Of course, taking selfies isn't only an injury risk — it's a death risk, too. A German tourist, Oliver Park, was killed at Machu Picchu in Peru after he fell off a cliff in a selfie attempt. A recent study by Priceonomics found that 54 people, most of them men, have died from taking selfies since 2014. Yikes.

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