If you think you only meet "the one" one time in your life, think again. A new British study shows that the word is a misnomer, as you actually meet "the one" three times in your life. To some, this study might seem heartening — more than one shot at love! — others, like me, find it a bit depressing.
I know it seems like a childish and naive thing, but I have always believed firmly in the power of "the one." I come by this belief naturally. My husband and I grew up together in a small town in the Midwest and then both ended up in Boston after college. It was serendipitous. We didn't plan it. It just happened. It's hard for me to believe that is not part of a larger plan when things happened so perfectly to help us be together.
It feels like we were made for one another. And while I am sure that any person in a happy marriage would say they can't imagine being married to anyone else, I truly feel like all my husband's quirks fit perfectly with my own and there is no other human on this planet with whom I could connect so deeply. Besides, it's terribly unromantic to imagine we could have been happy with just "anyone," isn't it?
Over the years, I have come to realize my marriage is unusual. I accept that. Not everyone believes in "the one" because they didn't feel that they found it themselves. Last year, a friend told me that he felt he could have married any number of women and still have been perfectly content and happy within his marriage.
The truth is, that makes me sad. It's hard to say that without sounding condescending or judgmental and for some people, it might very well be true. But the love that I share with my husband is so central to my life and so important to my happiness and well-being, I know for certain I could not share that with "just anyone."
All that said, not everyone views marriage the way I do. I recognize that. For some people, a marriage is just one of many relationships. For some, especially those who married older than I did (I was married at 25), they had very full lives going into the marriage and the marriage is just one piece of the larger puzzle. There are as many ways of "doing marriage" as there are people getting married. There is no one right or wrong way to do it.
But for me, the notion of "the one" is comforting. And I truly do believe that in this world of billions, my husband and I found one another because our souls were meant to connect in a way they couldn't have with anyone else.
There are few directors quite as prolific as Woody Allen. He makes nearly a movie a year, and has since 1966 — many if not most of which have garnered critical acclaim. It makes sense that Allen has Hollywood admirers, but what these Allen loyalists seemingly ignore are the disturbing accusations made against him. Allen was accused of sexual abuse by his daughter Dylan Farrow in 1992, and though the charges were never pursued, Farrow and her family stand by the accusations. Still, Hollywood hasn't taken away any power from Allen — he's still making movies, and rounding up some of the biggest names to star in them. It seems that the only check on his power comes in the form of jokes, one of which was made by emcee Laurent Lafitte at the Cannes Film Festival, where he was introducing Allen's film Café Society, starring Blake Lively. According to Variety, Lively was offended by the rape joke at Allen's expense, but perhaps she should be offended by the director's ability to work in Hollywood unscathed instead.
According to reports, Lafitte's joke happened early on in the introduction of Café Society. Seemingly likening Allen to Roman Polanski, who fled the United States following a conviction for sexual assault, Lafitte praised Allen for making movies in Europe "even if you are not being convicted of rape in the U.S." Naturally, the joke made the audience at Cannes uncomfortable — though Allen, never one to care much about what the media thinks of him, was unfazed. His leading lady Lively was offended, however, and told Variety so.
"I think any jokes about rape, homophobia or Hitler is not a joke... I think that was a hard thing swallow in 30 seconds. Film festivals are such a beautiful, respectful festivals of film and artists and to have that, it felt like it wouldn’t have happened if it was in the 1940s... It was more disappointing for the artists in the room that someone was going up there making jokes about something that wasn’t funny."
Ordinarily, I would agree with Lively. Rape is not something to laugh about, and making a careless joke about it is insensitive to survivors everywhere. However, intentionally or not, Lafitte was doing something that I consider important: making sure that the Hollywood elite does not forget about Allen's accusations. Because frankly, it really seems like they have. In fact, it was only on May 5, just days before the joke was made, that Farrow's brother Ronan Farrow published a piece in The Hollywood Reporter stating that he believed his sister's accusation and was disgusted by the willingness of the entertainment industry to ignore her alleged abuse. The fact that Allen can still operate in Hollywood, cast A-list actors and be universally praised is just one example of how we silence his accuser.
It's disheartening that one of Hollywood's brightest stars is more comfortable criticizing a joke at Allen's expense than Allen himself. Allen will continue to do what he wishes in the industry, so I don't see the harm in reminding the world of what he was accused of.
Was the joke at Allen's expense inappropriate? Sound off in the comments.
Picture this: You break up with your super hot boyfriend, and start dating another super hot guy a few years later. Then, boom — out of the blue, your newly single ex gives you a call, professing that he's still pining for you. Sounds like a crazy awesome dream, right? Well, according to Hollywood Life, this is Vanessa Hudgens' dilemma — with none other than her ex, Zac Efron. Efron reportedly wants Hudgens back, and it's making us wonder if Zanessa could live to see another day.
According to Hollywood Life, the very taken Hudgens, who has been dating The Carrie Diaries cutie Austin Butler for over four years, has been receiving calls from her High School Musical co-star and ex Efron in which he complains of being brokenhearted over his most recent ex, Sami Miro. Apparently, this is not sitting very well with Butler, who has probably seen a photo of Efron's abs in the last few months. Fortunately for Butler, he's got a two things on his side: the fact that Hudgens is very much in love with him, and the fact that, hot bod or no hot bod, Efron reportedly treated Hudgens like total crap at the end of their relationship.
Hudgens may be rolling her eyes at Efron's phone calls, but you have to admit that she's in a pretty choice position. She is seemingly very happy in her current relationship, and the fact that Efron is once again wishing he was at her side has to be a confidence boost. The best part is that it doesn't seem like Hudgens is going to be jumping off the Butler ship to swim over to Efron island: she has a good thing going, and an ex isn't going to get in the middle of that.
Let this be a lesson to all of the ex-boyfriends out there. You only have one shot to be good to your girl, so don't mess it up. You may regret it big-time later.
Would you give Zac Efron another chance if you were Vanessa Hudgens? Sound off in the comments.
Blake Shelton and Gwen Stefani recently debuted their new duet "Go Ahead and Break My Heart" on The Voice, and everyone's been talking about it ever since. So if you liked the track, we have even more good news, because according to Entertainment Tonight, the couple will be performing their hit song again later this year, but this time at the Billboard Music Awards.
We already can't wait, and Shelton probably can't either, because he told ET backstage that the hardest part of the performance was to try to keep from smiling "while we're singing it because we can't believe this is happening. We still can't believe this is happening. It's cool to be witness to something that's this honest and fun."
And while we loved seeing Stefani and Shelton onstage together, it turns out there was way more hotness backstage — and Stefani's new picture proves it.
Taking to Instagram, Stefani posted a selfie with not only Shelton, but also Adam Levine and his wife Behati Prinsloo (and seriously, this might be too much hotness for one picture). Stefani captioned the picture with a simple kissing-face emoji and has given fans relationship goals.
Gwen Stefani Instagram
Gwen Stefani Instagram
Comments on the picture include one from yourgirlcaro who wrote, "OMG THAT DOUBLE DATE."
"I want to have a triple date with you 4!!" lishohman shared.
"Love these people!" no.more.koolaid wrote. "Wish I could be part of that squad."
And zevgillesania also shared their thoughts, writing, "Adam's so cute & behati too! Sorry Blake & Gwen but they stole the moment here!"
Are you as impressed with the selfie as the fans are? Are you looking forward to seeing Shelton and Stefani perform their duet again at the Billboard Music Awards? Share your thoughts with us in the comments below.
When it comes to dating, I’m at a disadvantage — I don’t want to get married or have kids. I used to wait a few dates to drop the bomb, but I don’t like to waste anyone’s time, so now I’m upfront with this admission. Like, “Hi, my name is Charyn and I don’t want to procreate or walk down the aisle. Are you cool with that?” within the first 15 minutes.
Before I was legally able to drink, I dated a now-wildly successful advertising creative director. (I turned 21 while we were together.) He was several years older than me, driven and knew what he wanted from life. I was still feeling my way out in the world but knew marriage and babies were a no-go. Sure, we were in love. We shacked up, had incredible sex and danced into the wee hours of the night every weekend at Philly’s after-hours clubs. We clicked and had fun. Still, it didn’t stop me from waking up in cold sweats one night, panicking that the relationship was headed into too-serious territory. I quickly ended things to avert having “that” conversation. A conversation that would often turn into a cut-and-run scenario.
Some boyfriends were convinced I’d fall in love with them, change my mind and we’d live happily ever after. Sure, I fell head over heels in many of those instances, but mind-blowing sex and an incredible connection was never enough to get hitched. (Though the idea of a professional quality knife set does make a wedding registry slightly appealing.)
About a decade later, I found security in the long-term history with a childhood friend, which, in retrospect, never should have taken a romantic turn. Believe me, I loved this guy deeply and pondered the prospect of a lifetime partnership at great length, but he wasn’t a perfect fit, or even an almost-perfect fit, like the half-size too-small shoe you force your foot into because it was 50 percent off at the Neiman Marcus sale. Our relationship strode along for a handful of years, because selfishly, I needed the stability.
The split was every bit as messy as I feared. I did everything in my power to sabotage our relationship and make it impossible for us to ever be friends. It worked; we haven’t spoken since. And I’m scarred with the indelible image of him crying on the staircase of our apartment complex saying, “I wanted to marry you.” It still makes my heart ache to think about that moment. See the pattern? One step toward walking down the aisle, and I take 10 steps back. I’m always the one to leave when things come within sniffing distance of wedding and babies talk.
Now, as a 40-something, baby making is less of an expectation. I’m dealing mostly with divorcees who have grown kids of their own. Marriage though is still a hot topic. Second (or third) chances at love and all of that. I totally get that my life plan doesn’t play well with (most) others. Mating and marriage aside, I’m also a writer who has freelanced the better part of the past two decades and spent much of that time traipsing around the globe. My lifestyle is not for everyone. I get it. On rare occasions, everyone’s on the same page and things proceed simpatico. I’ve been fortunate to have a few loves in my life where there’s a certain lightness in knowing that my partner isn’t going to try to change my mind. When these relationships have ended, it’s had absolutely nothing to do with kids or marriage.
Many people take issue with women who opt out of motherhood and marriage. It makes one a selfish, misguided person, doomed to a life of loneliness and regret. Or so I’ve been told. Repeatedly. If I’ve learned anything about taking this path, it is that there’s no swaying the fervent believers. No, I won’t “change my mind.” And when people pry for an answer, I tell them the truth: I love my life exactly the way it is. I have a super supportive circle of friends. My rescue dog satisfies my minimal maternal needs. I still have relationships, long and short-term. I volunteer and give back to my community. I travel every chance I get. I love what I do for a living. I may not “have it all” (who does?), but I have more than enough to be happy.
Don’t get me wrong, I like kids. I adore my nieces and nephew and many of my friends’ kids — in low-commitment, when-I-please doses. But sippy cups and baby slings terrify me; I really don’t feel the need to make slippery, raw egg white-like mucus magic in my easy bake fetus oven. It’s a responsibility that under pressure, I could probably meet and maybe even succeed at, but why mess with success?
As for relationships, I’ve managed long stretches of togetherness, which in some states would qualify as common-law marriage. I’m not afraid to couple up — I just have no interest in making it official. Perhaps it’s because religion plays no role in my life and my parents are deceased so I have zero familial pressure. Whatever the reason, I’ve never wanted someone to put a ring on it or to proclaim my love in front of the masses. Bling and broadcast just aren’t my style.
Getting married or making babies is a highly personal decision and I’ve learned through repeated first-person experience that it can be a dating deal-breaker, but it doesn’t make you damaged goods. I pinky swear promise. It’s a big world out there with lots of opportunities to meet people who are the cheddar to your grits. You may have to seek a bit more to find, but believe me, it’s worth it. We all don’t have to have the same happily ever after.
Let me first start by saying that I thought the finale was true to showrunner Shonda Rhimes. Meaning that it was too good and too clever for words.
But I'm also so frustrated with the show. And by frustrated, I mean I can't wait for the next season because I think my head is going to explode if someone doesn't finally deal with Rowan and Jake.
Freaking Jake!
(Olitz all the way!)
I know, I know, we don't really know if he's working for Papa Pope still or is just acting as his mindless puppet now more than ever, but Jake's not dumb. I'm totally thinking he's in on it, and it's making my blood boil!
The passion this show has spurred in me is unrivaled (except maybe by Game of Thrones), and it makes me simultaneously want to curse Rhimes and obsess over her genius writing.
Puppet master Papa Pope struck again, and we didn't ever see it coming.
Olivia made all these grand gestures to "save" Jake, which we did see was destined to end really, really badly.
Meanwhile, Fitz made a simple gesture to Olivia that meant so much more. He knew about the abortion! And instead of calling her out, he told her he missed her. He sacrificed his own curiosity because he was reinforcing the power of her choice. Now that's love. That's a gesture I can get behind. It was bigger than any VP ticket promise.
Of course, Olivia didn't recognize it for what it was. At least, not yet. Instead, she went back to dealing with Jake and Rowan and only ended up getting deeper in bed with Command and not even knowing it.
Even if Jake isn't working for Command anymore, Olivia's decision to involve him in Mellie's campaign was reckless and not very smart.
Taking to Instagram on Thursday, Jackson shared a photo of herself with a pasta loop surrounding her tongue ring. She captioned the image with, "Almost like ring-toss. But with noodles and needles."
Paris Jackson Instagram
Paris Jackson Instagram
Ever since she turned 18, Jackson has been in and out of Los Angeles' Timeless Tattoo & Body Piercing, and she's pleased with the handiwork of body piercer Chris Saint, but unfortunately, a lot of her fans are not as thrilled.
Comments on the picture have been pretty negative, with remarks like "Not more please" and "love you but stop doing all this tattoo stuff just to fit in."
Jdohertyswa4 also weighed in on Jackson's piercing, writing, "paris quit the piercings and other self destructing things to your body, try and be your true self without all the costumes...." before adding a second comment, "Go out and make a change, help others, you have the means. Quit the silly self mutilations, listen to your dads lyrics...."
Thepottersbizniz was also pretty harsh, commenting, "Oh well, all of this looks like wasting your life."
"Woah, I'm not judging her, I actually really can't say love her cuz I don't know her but let's say like her as a person, but I feel like she has gone completely mad with the tattoos and piers and all," _redhead_99 shared.
We get it: Tattoos and piercings are not for everyone, but what they are is a means of self-expression, and no one should ever be told that they have to change who they are to simply fit in with society's traditional standards of beauty, now should they?
What do you think? Share your thoughts with us in the comments below.
The next time you take a look around your house and realize there's a child-sized toilet in your living room or pray that the brown stuff your kid just licked off of his fingers is in fact chocolate, take solace in the fact that you're far from alone. Here are this week's funniest tweets from parents. We're all in this together.
Kylie Jenner and Tyga have called it quits, and according to the reports about their split, this time it's going to be for good. But momager Kris Jenner is stepping up to the plate and coming to her youngest child's rescue.
A report from Hollywood Life claims that Kris wants Kylie to move back home for a while because she's worried about her being heartbroken and alone.
"Kris thinks Kylie needs to take a major break from Tyga. She's suggested that Kylie unplug for a while and come stay with her at her house. She's worried about her and doesn't think she should be alone right now," an insider told the publication.
Shortly after the news that Kylie and Tyga split, Kylie shared with fans via Snapchat that she had returned to her family home — and this is reportedly exactly what Kris wants.
"She wants to baby her, cook for her and make sure she's getting plenty of love and support right now," the insider added. "Plus if Kylie is staying with Kris, there's less of a chance of her seeing Tyga. Kris really wants Kylie to have her space from him right now and collect her thoughts."
There's no word on what exactly caused the breakup, but the Kardashians seem to be pretty angry with Tyga, because according to the publication, Rob Kardashian (who is now engaged to Tyga's ex and baby mama, Blac Chyna) has warned the rapper to keep away from his sister.
"Rob doesn't want Tyga bombarding his sister with phone calls, showing up at her house, sending her gifts, none of that. He's explained to Tyga that Kylie needs time to be alone and to breathe," a source told Hollywood Life. And Rob has apparently even demanded that "Tyga respect his wishes."
Well, at least the Kardashians are rallying around Kylie and showing her their support. While the family may make a lot of controversial decisions, you can never say that they aren't a close-knit family.
If you thought Donald Trump and his followers were alone in unearthing some hidden racism in the United States, not only are you mistaken, but you also may have forgotten about George Zimmerman and those who support him.
Just when you thought he could not be more repulsive, Zimmerman has outdone himself yet again. This time it's not him making money off of his subpar paintings or being arrested for his increasingly aggressive behavior. This week we learned that Zimmerman was reportedly auctioning off the gun he used the kill 17-year-old Trayvon Martin back in 2012, describing it as a “piece of American history.”
There's been a lot of back and forth over the success of his auction, with at least two sites kicking the gun off their site, but at one point bids were reportedly in the $65 million range.
Whether he'll find a place to sell it and get that money or not, Zimmerman's plan is to donate the proceeds of the auction to fight against racial equality activists like Black Lives Matter who he believes mean to do police harm. Critiquing the police for excessive force is not violent, nor does it equate to their violence, but Zimmerman somehow has not received the memo. And unfortunately, he is not the only one.
While the murder of Trayvon Martin and subsequent acquittal of his murderer, George Zimmerman, roared through mainstream media just four years ago, many activists yelled loudly about how despicable he was. Though Zimmerman took the human life of a minor, that was still defended by many under the guise of “well he was just standing his ground,” or because Martin was a “thug” who got suspended from school once.
Since 2012, Zimmerman has been arrested at least four times, though his arrests and incidences with the police both preclude his murderous encounter with Trayvon Martin and extend beyond arrests.
Personally, I have found Zimmerman to be repulsive from the time I learned he murdered a minor child, but it has taken four years, more arrests and general disarray for some people to buy into the notion that Zimmerman is less than ideal. Right after Zimmerman murdered Martin, a Kickstarter raised more than $300,000 in support of Zimmerman. This particular tidbit of disgusting and particularly racist use of funds from supporters surprised me back in 2012, but in a 2016 that sees Donald Trump as the Republican candidate for president of the United States, is it really still surprising that there are unsavory racist bigots in our midst?
I assume the disconnect in relation to acquittals is that people hold the idea that because someone was acquitted that they are therefore innocent, which is to say that being found "not guilty" means that wrongdoing could not be proven in a court of law. However, it seems we often conflate "not guilty" to "innocent," which is inaccurate: One can be both acquitted in a court of law while also not being innocent (or even being guilty).
In a world where Trayvon Martin no longer lives because a man named George Zimmerman decided to take his life, the latter's attempts to explode back in the limelight — rather than disappear into remorse and obscurity — illuminate how little regard he has for that life he took. Indeed, it seems that his seemingly trivial actions like painting or selling the gun he used in a murder prove that not only is he not sorry for what he did, but he revels in it.
If the logic of Zimmerman’s supporters is followed to its end, and Trayvon Martin wearing a hoodie and having been suspended from school prior is excuse enough that he be executed, what do Zimmerman’s five-plus arrests, all for violent crimes like assault and murder, and obvious moral deficiencies say for where he should be? If you are willing to kill a child and then auction off the murder weapon, what kind of person does that make you? When we look at the George Zimmermans and Donald Trumps in our society and that they are readily followed, it is easy to spot the problems we have yet to solve.
Following the simple directions, children create fun, hands-on letters using glue and string to help them memorize the shapes. Once ready, they make the perfect material to hang in alphabetical order for even more letter practice. For kids who already know their letters, it can be a great way to practice spelling or just make a fun sign for their room.
The entire book is filled with games that help children thrive in school, while they just think they're having fun.
Note: This craft needs to be created over the course of a few days to allow for drying. Consider starting with the letters in a child’s name or a specific grouping of letter formations, like E, L, T, I, H.
It wasn't until my daughter was 7 years old that she was officially diagnosed with celiac disease after years of struggling with a seemingly "mysterious" illness. As you might have guessed, the auto-immune disorder most often associated with a gluten-free diet was hardly the first thing the doctor brought up. But once that official diagnosis was made, after Lauren's biopsy was positive, all of our lives changed in a big way.
Lauren has been living gluten-free ever since.
Image: Monica Beyer/SheKnows
Lauren was born in 2002 and was a healthy baby, toddler and preschooler. She did, however, have a few incidents that were never explained when she was pretty small — small enough to cry and stay awake, but not be able to tell us exactly what was wrong. She went to the emergency room with severe stomach pain a few times but we never got an answer as to what was ailing her. The only thing that kept me from seeking more answers at this time was the fact that the incidents were very isolated, seemed unrelated to an acute illness and didn’t continue to distress her.
This all changed, however, when she started kindergarten. The year started off fine, but within a month or so the school nurse called to inform me that Lauren had a stomach ache. Nothing serious, nothing severe, but bad enough to come home from school. No vomiting, no stool changes, just a vague, yet painful, stomachache.
The school nurse never had any suggestions for us — her usual question was, “What do you want me to do?” After a few of these episodes, I began to suspect that there was a little more going on than what appeared on the surface. Yes, kids get stomach aches a lot, and often they are just that — stomach aches — but sometimes, there is a serious reason behind them.
Investigating the issue
The first doctor visit was entirely unproductive. He believed if it wasn't stress or nerves, that she may be lactose intolerant, so he suggested she go on a lactose-free diet and see if there was any improvement. We dutifully took her off dairy completely and imagined improvement, but after a month or so she continued to complain of stomach pain. So, back to the doctor we went.
This time, he seemed to take it a little more seriously. They took abdominal x-rays and did a slew of blood work. Test after test, however, came back normal. He put her on Zantac because he thought she may have acid reflux, so we tried it out for a few months — ultimately rejecting the notion since although it seemed to help at first, after a while we realized that it was just wishful thinking.
Finally, after months of trial, error and random medical tests that yielded nothing, her doctor suggested one more blood test — a celiac disease panel. I agreed even though I didn’t have a clue what celiac disease was. He didn’t sound optimistic that it was the answer, but I was hopeful that we’d arrived at an answer several weeks later when the results came back “mildly elevated.”
Getting a diagnosis
We were referred to a pediatric gastroenterologist about an hour away at a large children’s hospital called Children’s Mercy. By this time, Lauren was in the first grade and I was expecting my fourth child, who was due on Christmas Day. This doctor also didn’t sound like she expected her to come back positive for celiac disease, but she wanted to repeat the blood tests to rule it out. Lauren again had to endure a blood draw, but our wait this time was only a week or so.
When the call came, I was pretty cheerful — I really didn’t expect Lauren’s test to be positive, so I was quite surprised when the nurse on the phone told me her results were indeed indicative of celiac disease. The test was the tissue transglutaminase antibody, IgA class, also known as tTG IgA. With this lab, the result in non-celiac patients should be under 20 — hers was over 100. “Oh,” I said, with an air of intense sadness. I felt a lurch in my stomach — I closed my eyes.
I wanted a diagnosis, I wanted to know that there was something wrong, something that we could fix — but the news was still a blow. She let me know that while the blood test was a step in the right direction, we should still schedule a biopsy for a 100 percent confirmation. It was scheduled for the following week, when I was 9 months pregnant — a week before Christmas.
Acceptance
Once I got that phone call, I knew that she had celiac disease. I knew the biopsy would be positive, and it was — she had microscopic damage to the villi in her stomach and small intestine. This damage was from her body reacting to the gluten in foods and damaging itself — this is why celiac disease is known as an autoimmune disease. I wanted her to have the biopsy so we could have documented proof that she would always have on file, and would hopefully help with compliance as she gets older. It was an easy procedure — the worst part was the IV — and it was over in just a few minutes.
I began checking out what going gluten-free meant, and at first I was definitely overwhelmed. All her favorite foods contained gluten — crackers, pizza, macaroni, Goldfish and Pringles. I wondered what she would eat. It took a lot of rethinking about food on everyone’s part to gradually begin to normalize a gluten-free diet for her. We substitute gluten-free items, like pasta and pizza crusts, when she wants something like that, but we also strive to emphasize foods that are naturally gluten-free, like fruits and vegetables.
My gluten-free girl
Image: Monica Beyer/SheKnows
It has been a long road, but honestly, it also seems like she’s always been gluten-free. We’ve discovered all sorts of cool new recipes and every day there are more food labels declaring the contents to be devoid of gluten, and local and national chain restaurants are also getting into the act. There is even a bakery and restaurant in a nearby town whose entire menu and facility is gluten-free.
If you are headed down this road for your child or yourself, you are definitely not alone. There is more information out there about celiac disease and eliminating gluten than I even had at my fingertips three years ago, and you may find that one of your friends or family members has already gotten rid of it in their diet. It was sad to find out my child had an incurable autoimmune disease, but the good news is that it can be completely controlled with diet and any damage that has occurred will reverse, so she’s as good as new now — and I’m so glad we know.
When I was in college, a friend teased another girl for getting a urinary tract infection. She spat the word out in a scandalous whisper as if it were a dirty disease. UTIs happen every day. They are caused by bacteria (often from intercourse) making its way into a woman's urethra. And the sad truth is, she could have been talking about me. I get them all the time. I estimate I have probably had close to 100 UTIs since I became sexually active.
They run in my family. My mom gets them frequently. My sister has been hospitalized twice for kidney infections. I've had several hospital IVs plugged into my veins in desperate attempts to flush everything out of my system and get me to be able to pee again without hysterically crying.
And the worst part: Being prone to a UTI takes all the sexy out of sex.
I have a prescription for nitrofurantoin, which I take twice a week. Cranberry pills are my bae. When I feel one coming on, I drink more water than a deprived camel lost in a desert sandstorm. I’ve got this prevention plan down pat.
Given my prevention measures, here’s a brief synopsis of what it’s like to have sex with me: sex ---> finish ---> BYE. Oh, you wanted to cuddle? Kiss me? Talk? Sleep? I got priorities, bro, and they include staying away from the emergency room tonight. You’re still breathing heavy, and I’m in the bathroom urinating my heart away, pissing away bacteria as passionately and quickly as I piss away money on makeup. (A story for another day.)
Super sexy, huh? I know. Call me. ;-*
Oh, and don’t even get me started on alcohol. Alcohol plus a UTI equals me screaming at my boyfriend for hours, blaming him for not keeping me away from the Mike’s Hard Lemonade. Sugar, FYI, hates your infection more than you do, and it will exacerbate it so rapidly you will sober up faster than Justin Bieber refused to answer Selena Gomez questions in his 2014 deposition.
But… I digress. As you and your “normal,” infection-less urethra can imagine, this sensitivity makes for quite the uncomfortable conversation whilst entertaining suitors. How do you explain leaping out of the room post final pump?
After some practice, I say straightforward real talk is the only way to go. My boyfriend should understand. He should not want to see me in post-sex pain. In fact, he should carry me to the toilet on his shoulders. Yep. Like a fucking queen.
Again, I digress. This is a real medical issue that real women deal with. Sometimes real sex isn’t like movie or television show sex. Sometimes as soon as it’s done, you find yourself sprinting to the restroom for an epic pee in an epic attempt to take care of your own health, and you leave the guy hanging for a while. Real doctors and real biweekly prescriptions are involved. Not to mention, it’s 2016, people! It’s time to erase the stigma that women are “dirty” or “don’t douche enough” (quite the contrary, actually, as doctors advise not to douche if you’re susceptible to infection) or are “too sexually promiscuous” or — my favorite — “deserve” to get a UTI for being “slutty in bed” simply for getting an infection.
We know better. Whether we are men or women, let's educate ourselves on all outcomes of sex, should we feel responsible and mature enough to have it.
Last month, Castle fans were informed that their favorite lead actress, Stana Katic, would be leaving the show. As if this wasn't bad enough, fans were also informed this week that the show would not go on.
After eight seasons, ABC's Castle is officially over, and Katic, a.k.a. Kate Beckett, has an important message for her fans.
Taking to Twitter during the early hours of Friday morning (May 13), Katic shared a handwritten note thanking her fans for their unwavering support.
"Dear Castle fans, cast and crew: Your devotion to our show has carried us for these unforgettable eight seasons," she wrote. "I'm lucky to have met and worked with and for the lot of you. I will always be grateful. Big hug, Stana."
But Katic was not the only person to react to the news, as Seamus Dever, who you may know as Detective Kevin Ryan, also reacted when he took to Instagram to share a photo of the cast — and it's clear from the comments on the post that many fans are sad that this is the end of the road.
Seamus Denver Instagram
Seamus Denver Instagram
"Thank U for 8 wonderful seasons #Castle was the best show on TV. The balance chemistry was great," geniey43 wrote.
"Am gonna miss this gang of talented people. I thank you all for such joy and entertainment," bonnbon40 gushed.
"What a beautiful family! Thank you for the last 8 years. Castle has truly been one of the best shows. I am sad it ends but glad it ends with all of you together. I wish you all the best for the future! I hope great things happen," nanou0111 wrote. And merle0102 also shared thoughts on how much the show will be missed, writing, "Thank you for 8 wonderful years! I'm gonna miss the show a lot!!"
Are you sad that this is the end of the road for Castle? Or do you think it wouldn't have been the same without Stana Katic anyway? Share your thoughts with us in the comments below.
When you think of a female celeb who has a hard time staying upright on her feet, even money says Jennifer Lawrence comes to mind. The Oscar winner has an amazing history of falling down in public, usually in a super fancy dress at a super fancy event (that time she totally ate it on the stairs on her way to accept her Academy Award, amirite?).
But move over, JLaw. There's a new faller in town, and her epic tumble is better than all of Lawrence's combined: Meghan Trainor.
Trainor was performing her new single, "Me Too," on The Tonight Show when it happened. She made it all the way through the song, including a truly impressive dance break in her giant heels. But as the last notes faded away and Trainor gripped the mic stand at the end of her performance, the first wobble came. We couldn't tear our eyes away as we watched the all-to-familiar ankle wobble that we know when combined with stiletto heels is preceding an epic fall. And fall Trainor did.
Meghan Trainor falls onstage
Meghan Trainor falls onstage
In the video, you can hear her let out a little scream as she hits the floor, taking the microphone with her. It's glorious. If you want to watch it all day, we won't judge you.
But what's even better is how The Tonight Show host Jimmy Fallon handles it. Instead of poking fun during Trainor's hilariously embarrassing moment, he gets down on the floor with her. They lay there together as they talk about her new album. Classy move, Fallon. Check it out below (and watch Trainor's performance, too, because it is ah-mazing):
Meghan Trainor falls onstage full video
Meghan Trainor falls onstage full video
Every lady we know has a story about taking an epic fall in a pair of heels. Kudos to you for doing it (somewhat) gracefully, Meghan.
Potty training is no walk in the park, as any parent who is going through or has already gone through the process of convincing their child to eliminate waste into a terrifying gigantic bowl that roars when you flush it will tell you. It's hard enough to get a 2-year-old to sacrifice their bodily waste to the porcelain god, so the idea of getting a baby who's just 4 months to get down to business seems practically impossible.
Still, some parents do try it, to varying levels of success, through a process called elimination communication, and Kandi Burruss of badass breastfeeding and Real Housewives of Atlanta fame is one of those people. She's posted a few pictures of baby Ace with his bum on the bowl, along with an invitation to haters to step off if they dislike the idea of it.
It would appear that more than a few people have impolitely declined that invitation. They've accused Burruss of everything from being too lazy to forcing her child to grow up too quickly.
kandi burruss potty training ace
kandi burruss potty training ace
In actuality, elimination communication isn't new, and Kandi Burruss isn't even the first celebrity to give it a shot. Because the practice comes part and parcel in attachment parenting, other celebrities who advocate AP, like Mayim Bialik and Alicia Silverstone, are also big advocates for putting babies on the porcelain throne.
Still, elimination communication is even older than the rise of widespread baby wearing and baby-led weaning. In many cultures, you're more likely to raise a halfhearted shoulder in a shrug than a judgmental eyebrow if you mention that you put your infant on the toilet before they can walk. Places like India and China are chock-full of parents who use EC for one reason or another, and they've done it for a long time. Even Americans used to toilet train their kids before 18 months of age. Now we typically wait until kids are between 24 and 36 months.
The idea behind the practice is that babies are capable of communicating when they have to go before you find a special surprise in their diaper, and even the skeptics among us know this to be true. Think of a baby's screwed-up pooping face, which is cute but usually most often observed right after you've spent an hour buckling them into a car seat.
Once you learn the signals and signs, from there it's just a matter of getting your tot to the toilet so the magic can happen. Professional potty whisperers claim that they can even get their kid to eliminate on cue by making a sound or gesture that signals "go time."
Does it work? It must. In developing countries, you'll see bare-bummed babies on hips all the time with no accompanying blowout, so those moms must be doing something right.
The list of pros on the infant toileting pros and cons list has other biggies too, like the fact that EC produces less landfill waste (no diapers) and can keep a baby rash free and comfy in their nethers (again, no diapers).
As far as cons go, while there's no reason to suggest — as some of Burruss' parenting expert critics guest posting in the comments section of her Instagram insist — that EC is detrimental to a child, the American Academy of Family Physicians has said that there's no benefit to toileting a child before 26 months of age. So at worst it's woo, not child abuse. It's not as though she's having Ace eliminate over a shark tank ringed by pyrotechnics.
The other con, obviously, flies in the face of people shouting down Burruss for being lazy. EC is a commitment. It takes time and dedication, and getting your kid to the toilet and cooing at them about how wonderful their peeps and poops are is hardly as easy as changing a diaper.
It's like so much of modern parenting today: a lot of extra work for maybe some benefit. Just like breastfeeding, baby wearing, hand-mashing your own organic baby noms and banishing the good old playpen, elimination communication is work. It's also work that, unless you are Kandi Burruss' personal carpet and upholstery cleaner, affects you in exactly zero ways. She's not asking you to do it.
Different strokes, everybody. Burruss says EC has worked for her before. If it works for her again, then congratulations. Then she's just a lady bombarding her followers with pictures of her (cute) kid on the toilet. Let she who has not posted one of those throw the first stone.
I've learned to avoid the postings on Facebook groups about animal shelters. I can't logistically adopt another animal, and seeing those little faces staring out at me stabs me right in the heart. But it's not just the photos. It's the people who gripe about the expense of adopting an animal.
"$300? For a mutt?" they'll write. "That's too expensive."
Three hundred is too expensive? I wonder what would have happened to my dog, Sawyer, if he'd ended up in a house like that. After all, I spend thousands each year to keep him alive, and at just 4 1/2 years old, I'm hoping he'll have years more life in him. And I'll keep paying.
It's not that I enjoy shelling out wads of cash that I could just as easily put toward paying down my mortgage or funneling into my daughter's college fund, but Sawyer is a part of my family and after an ordinary nap ended with his eyes rolled back in his head, his jaw foaming and his body jerking violently, I had to make a hard choice.
Our older dog we'd raised from a puppy had just succumbed to cancer a month before, and my emotions were still raw. Sawyer was the source of comfort our whole family needed. I work at home, so I was just a few feet away when I saw his head jerking during his nap. At first I thought he was dreaming, then I saw the foam coming out of his mouth, the urine spraying.
I screamed and ran to him, crying, "Please, no! Please, I can't do this again. Please, I can't lose another one."
In minutes it was over, and I ran to call the vet's office. "It sounds like a seizure," they said, confirming what I'd already guessed. "You'd better bring him in."
I clipped a leash to a dazed Sawyer's collar and took him out to the car for a quick drive to their office. The vet confirmed what the receptionist had said and gave me the option of trying a "let's see" approach. Epilepsy is common in dogs; however, since sometimes a canine will have one seizure and then never again, she said, there's no sense putting a dog on expensive medicine if they don't need it. Relieved, I agreed, and took him home, where he got a long bath (unable to hold his bowels or his urine during the seizure, he stunk to high heaven) and a lot of treats.
A week went by. Then a few more days. We thought he'd be fine.
Then we woke up Sunday morning to find dog pee all over his favorite spot. We guessed that he'd had a seizure that night while we were sleeping. He went on to have three more that day.
One seizure in a dog is OK. Four in one day? Not remotely OK. The Canine Epilepsy Network recommends calling a vet immediately if a dog has three seizures in a day or one seizure that lasts more than five minutes.
Back to the vet we went, where Sawyer was officially diagnosed with idiopathic epilepsy and prescribed an anti-epileptic. He has to take it every day, twice a day, for the rest of his life. Stop dosing him, and the seizures could come back worse than before. And so every day for the past year, he's gotten two pills, twice a day. They make him sleepy, a little dopey and ravenously hungry. We joke that it's like pot for dogs.
But getting him his twice-daily fix isn't cheap.
The first time we picked up his medicine from the pharmacy, we were charged more than $90 for one month's supply. Usually the rate is around there, sometimes a little less, sometimes a little more. I budget roughly $100 for that and the hot dogs we buy regularly to hide the medicine in (at our vet's suggestion) so he'll swallow it.
That alone puts us at around $1,200 a year. Then you add in the other costs customary to caring for a dog on a yearly basis: food, treats, toys, regular vaccines, flea and tick preventatives, and the number is likely pushed over $2,000.
It's about double the estimated cost of owning a dog for a year, but in the more than 13 months since he started taking the medicine, we've watched his eyes roll back, his mouth foam and his body convulse just one time. Every other moment, we've had our happy, healthy, goofy dog.
He may be expensive, but he's ours. And we want to keep him as long as we can.
Celebrity chef Gordon Ramsay revealed during an interview with James Corden that he and his wife, Tana Ramsay, are expecting their fifth child together. The couple may need to brush up on changing diapers and car seat installations, as there is a whopping 14-year age gap between their youngest daughter, Megan, and their new baby.
Gordan Ramsay's family
Gordan Ramsay's family
When asked on The Late Late Show about handling four teenagers in the house, Ramsay, 49, casually made the pregnancy announcement.
Ramsay, pictured below with his son Jack, went on to say that the due date is in September — and they are expecting another girl.
Gordon Ramsay and son
Gordon Ramsay and son
“I'm really nervous. Obviously I'm happy with another girl," he said. "Four girls. Four weddings. Four sweet 16s. Four boyfriends… Um, so."
Ramsay is known for his colorful language, throwing out swear words on camera like it's a sport, so can we expect the baby’s first word to be just as colorful? He laughed off his reputation for cursing, calling it the industry language and insisting he doesn’t swear at home... well, most of the time.
Ramsay and his wife will have plenty of help and built-in babysitters, with all the older siblings around. Youngest daughter Tilly may not have time to help with her baby sister much, as she has her own cooking show called Matilda and the Ramsay Bunch, which airs on a BBC children’s station.
I'm not a Type A hiker, but I believe in the power and convenience of a well-stocked daypack. In addition to the usual essentials like a compass, first-aid kit and headlamp, I carry a few favorite items that I consider indispensable. I have back and neck problems and am very conscious of the amount of weight I carry while hiking, so nothing on my list weighs more than a few ounces.
I used to hike with just a knife, mainly to save weight. Then the tiny Leatherman Squirt changed my world. It has a knife blade, but also has pliers (can easily crimp a tent pole repair sleeve or double as tweezers for splinter removal), scissors for opening stubborn snack packaging, a bottle opener for a post-hike beer and lots of other features that come in handy.
2. A waterproof notebook
Rite in the Rain notebook. I have yet to come up with a brilliant idea, but in the event that I do, I can safely write it down regardless of weather. Rite in the Rain paper makes sure journal entries and trail notes stay dry in a downpour.
3. A tick-removal tool
The Tick Key weighs almost nothing and literally unlocks a tick embedded in skin. Bonus: The Tick Key works for removing dogs' ticks too.
4. A loud whistle
The saying goes, "If someone can hear you, someone can rescue you." Some new packs come equipped with a rescue whistle on the sternum strap. I prefer to carry a safety whistle anyway, since an emergency might separate me from my pack and therefore my whistle (if it's built in).
5. Bandana
I almost always have my hair covered by a bandana while hiking. I feel less vulnerable to bugs, it keeps hair off my face and can also be a handy first-aid item in the event of a broken bone or bad cut.
One of the ways I save weight while hiking near a water source, like a river, is to bring a Sawyer filter. It fits over its own pouch or adapts onto a bottle or hydration bladder and almost instantly makes water safer to drink. I use the filter to stay hydrated while not having to carry more than one small bottle of water at a time.
7. Hiking pole
I usually only take one pole, and it suits my needs just fine. My pole is height-adjustable and can be helpful for balance on rough terrain. If I sprain my ankle or acquire some other common hiking injury, I can either use the pole as a crutch or a splint.
8. Duct tape
Duct tape fixes almost everything. Whether your water bottle springs a leak, you roll your ankle or the sole of your shoe separates from the upper, duct tape can at least temporarily put you back in business. I keep a couple feet of it wrapped around my hiking pole for easy access.
Some sort of plastic shovel or trowel is another bathroom kit essential, because you never know what could happen with high-fiber trail mix.
11. A supply of toilet paper
I either strip some at home or bring a small, camping-specific roll. No need to waste pack space on a cardboard tube.
12. A sealable plastic bag
A quart-size bag with a secure zipper works best. I keep my toilet paper in it and then use the bag as a carryout package for dirty paper and wet wipes. That may sound gross, but it's not nearly as bad as leaving those nasty items for another hiker or wildlife to find.
13. Bring your own bathroom
The pStyle is the biggest prize in my wilderness bathroom kit. It's a simple plastic chute that works wonders. Squatting to pee is awkward, makes tired legs even more tired and can leave your business wide open to biting insects and unseen poison ivy. With the pStyle, I pee with less hassle and less nudity.
Spending time in the woods is one of my favorite adventures. I hike every chance I get and record some of my adventures on my blog. I live just a few minutes from the Florida Trail and have covered many miles through its swamps and forests.
In a sneak-peek video for Sunday's episode, we learn that Meri and Janelle Brown, who have been at odds with each other for some time, are taking a huge step toward repairing their broken relationship: They're in therapy together.
"I'm totally excited they're going to go into therapy together," Christine Brown says in the clip. "For them, it's really exciting. It's good. It's a big, huge, scary step. It really is."
She continues, "There are so many relationships. When one is off, it really is off. It really makes everything off."
Meri has been at the center of the catfishing scandal that's been rocking the family for nearly a year. It's created plenty of tension, and Janelle seems to have more problems with Meri than do some of the other wives. The video shows the pair meeting with family counselor Nancy Hunterton, who asks them to do some role reversal in an attempt to get to the bottom of what's creating so much bad blood between them.
Acting as Meri, Janelle says, "When I want to talk about something and you just shut down, I just think that you're not interested in what I have to say or you're not paying attention to me, because you just sit there."
She continues, "You just sit there and you just blow me off. I really want to work this out, I really want to talk about these things but you're not even talking, you're not even willing to address it. You check out."
Meri is quick to acknowledge that Janelle has it exactly right.
"I get really frustrated when she does and my wall will go right up," she says. "It's like, fine. I'm done."
