Straight Outta Compton was an incredible movie. It told the story of a group of teenagers from Compton, California, who formed a group called N.W.A. and then created an entirely new genre of music: West Coast gangsta rap. The story is important and fascinating, and people still found a reason to complain about it. Because of course they did.
Their biggest concern was that Straight Outta Compton didn’t touch on the violent past of Dr. Dre, N.W.A.’s famed producer — specifically, how he’s abused women.
Most assumed that because Dr. Dre was a producer of Straight Outta Compton, he cut all the pieces of his past that made him look bad. These viewers claimed that he painted himself in the best light possible and made the movie inaccurate. And maybe Dr. Dre did take some creative license by omitting his troubles, but if that’s the only thing you take away from Straight Outta Compton, I strongly urge you to watch it again.
The movie gave the backstory and the cultural context of a tumultuous time in American history, and it allowed unprecedented access to see exactly what it takes to create a musical genre. A type of music was created by teenagers. That’s huge. That’s Beatles big.
Straight Outta Compton had three hours to take its huge audience from the formation of N.W.A. to Aftermath while also explaining the Los Angeles riots and the AIDS epidemic. What Straight Outta Compton did was explain that "F*** the Police" wasn't just a bunch of hoodlums whining about laws. People were really frustrated with the state of their neighborhood.
Keeping out Dr. Dre's past wasn’t a deliberate choice to rewrite history; it was a decision to focus on what mattered to the biggest number of people — the music and the cultural impact it made on California and beyond.
If the movie was a biopic of Dr. Dre and omitted the facts of his legal trouble, then yes, it would be an obvious misrepresentation of the truth. But in order to tell the story of N.W.A. and what they meant to hip-hop, it simply doesn’t matter. And what Straight Outta Compton taught everyone about that period in history is so much more important than mistakes Dr. Dre made as a young man.
Well, another beloved character on Once Upon a Time just ended up in the Underworld, though fans shouldn't freak out just yet. Warning: If you've yet to watch Sunday's episode and would rather avoid spoilers, read no further.
"Her Handsome Hero" opened up with Emma having a dream and/or vision of Snow getting attacked (and possibly killed) by some type of beast. The vision slowly started to come true, which Regina interpreted as Emma attempting to work out a specific issue.
Emma translated this as feeling major guilt for dragging all of her loved ones to the Underworld — especially Henry — rather than going alone. She is worried that someone will die, which will then make Emma feel even more guilt. Obviously, Snow tells her that's ridiculous, because Emma didn't force anyone to accompany her.
After coming to that realization, Snow, Emma, Regina and Hook ended up facing the beast by hitting it with both Regina and Emma's magic, but it didn't turn out quite like they expected. The episode came to quite the surprising close when they stumbled upon Ruby, aka Red, in Hades' world.
Yes, she is the so-called "beast." Snow looked to Emma and said that she doesn't think her vision was a warning or an issue she was working out but a way to come to Red's rescue.
So, what does this all mean? Is Red really dead? Should fans start weeping for yet another character's demise? It's hard to say for certain because the story of how Red ended up in the Underworld hasn't been unveiled. That said, based on the promo for next Sunday's episode, it looks like viewers may learn where and what Red's been up to and whether she's truly dead.
There's a good chance Red is very much still alive and was dragged to the Underworld some other way. I mean, look at how everyone else from the Overworld traveled there. Until I hear the words "Red is dead," I'm going to remain positive about her fate.
Teen Mom star Kailyn Lowry looked confident showing off her post-plastic surgery body at the MTV Movie Awards this weekend. Despite backlash the reality star received from fans for getting the surgery, Lowry looked stunning on the red carpet.
It's been less than three months since Lowry got a Brazilian butt lift and a tummy tuck. In January, she and fellow Teen Mom stars Brittany DeJesus and Briana DeJesus underwent plastic surgery by Dr. Michael Salzhauer, aka "Dr. Miami."
Salzhauer told People that Lowry reached out to him. He also defended the cast's choices to get plastic surgery, even at a young age.
"If you have kids when you're a late teen and you're done having kids, at least for a while — you pretty much missed your whole teenage years," he said.
Some fans took to Twitter to bash Lowry for undergoing plastic surgery.
Knock that plastic surgery off, your not a Kardashian.
Knock that plastic surgery off, your not a Kardashian.
negative tweet #2
negative tweet #2
negative tweet #3
negative tweet #3
Others supported the reality television star.
I actually think it's awesome that your being so publi
I actually think it's awesome that your being so publi
kail positive #2
kail positive #2
kail positive #3
kail positive #3
In March, Lowry opened up about her recent personal struggles and triumphs, including a tragic miscarriage, her husband's service in the military and her upcoming college graduation.
"I'm just in such a good place right now," Lowry told People. "I really just hope that people see how much I'm trying to grow and mature as a person and as a mom. So, I'm hoping that shows on the show, and I'm hoping that I see it in myself."
Though tonight's episode really focused on how much Ben needs to get some professional help, I actually think it's Willa who needs a doctor the most, out of all the Warrens — and the pretend Warrens, as is the case with Ben/Adam.
Willa found Ben after he had escaped from Doug, and rather than getting him help and going to the police, she concocted this wild story that he's actually Adam. And then, when she changed her mind about the morality of that situation, she made an even worse decision morally by paying the kid off and leaving him. Uh, we're talking about a child who was held by a psycho. The same psycho who killed her brother. If Willa's first instinct was to go for the politics of the situation rather than catch the guy who killed the real Adam, she's got some serious, irreparable issues.
Now, as bad as all of these facts make Willa look, I honestly don't think she had bad intentions. I still have that vivid image of her hiding under her desk for hours and can't help but feel bad for the girl. Troubled is a good word for her. But morally, she isn't evil.
She really thought she was doing the right thing and figured everyone would win. Ben would get a happy (though not so healthy) home, her mother would look good in the spotlight, their family could repair from the loss, and with Ben/Adam's help, they might be able to catch the real bad guy (aka Doug). Unfortunately, these happy ideas weren't reality.
Especially because poor Hank was wasting away in a jail cell while Willa contemplated the best course of action. And yes, Hank definitely has his own set of problems that he was so desperate to fix he was willing to become impotent, but I still feel for the guy for some reason.
It will be interesting to see if and how Willa will redeem herself from this point on the show. Especially because if Claire is getting wasted, things aren't looking so hot for the family or her campaign.
Do you think Willa's actions with Ben were understandable? Or does the girl need to be in a mental institution?
Melissa McCarthy delivered a seriously inspiring speech at the MTV Movie Awards this weekend when she became the first woman to win the Comedic Genius Award.
The Boss actress gave a special shout out to her mom and thanked the numerous funny women who, she says, inspired and informed her career.
"I may be the first woman to receive this award, but am certainly not the first one to deserve it," McCarthy said on stage. "I am a walking human patchwork of other remarkable funny women who I loved and studied over the years. I am only here because Carol Burnett, Jane Curtin, Phyllis Diller, Whoopi Goldberg, Madeline Kahn, Lucille Ball, Gilda Radner, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Diane Keaton, Tracey Ullman, Bette Midler, Lily Tomlin and my mom, Sandy Lynn McCarthy, taught me not to fear being the butt of the joke or told me not about being likable or perfect and to lovingly go for the kill."
McCarthy continued, "And I just want to thank MTV for this incredible award. It means so much to me, and I want to thank every single person who buys a ticket for one of my movies or watches my show because it is — you are absolutely the single reason I get to keep doing what I love so much, and in all honesty, I really can't ever thank you enough for that."
She ended her speech with a shoutout to a different "Boss," saying, "So, thank you, and just one more thing, just a little P.S.: Who knew Bruce Springsteen could get even cooler?" referring to Springsteen's decision to cancel his concert Sunday night in North Carolina over the state's new anti-trans equality law.
The entirety of The Real Housewives of Atlanta Season 8 has consisted of Kenya Moore and Kim Fields going at each other's throats. From commercial snubs to hurtful rumors, there has been plenty of fuel to fan the flames of conflict between the former Miss USA and the Facts of Life star. Just when it seemed like the pair had finally run out of things to bicker over, they upped the ante by engaging in possibly the dumbest "discussion" in Real Housewives history.
Fields joined Moore and Sheree Whitfield for lunch, and from the very beginning, it was clear that she wasn't going to stick around for dessert. What began as a bizarrely courteous exchange between the two quickly devolved into the usual Kenya Moore conversation. Moore predictably went on the attack, accusing Fields of speaking ill of her behind her back while the RHOA gang was in Washington, D.C. Moore broke out the term duplicitous to describe how she felt Fields was acting toward her. This garnered an incredibly sarcastic "Ooh, good word" response from Fields. The war of words had officially begun.
Moore wasn't about to sit back and let Fields treat her like an elementary school child getting good marks from the teacher in English class. She rightfully called out Fields for being condescending, and Whitfield, who had a front-row seat for this spectacle, agreed. Whitfield wondered if Fields' time as a Hollywood actor might explain why she's "actin' a fool." Fields attempted to smooth things over by offering, in her words, a "mea culpa," which Moore hilariously mocked: "Oh, that's a big word!"
Once again, Moore felt as though Fields was talking down to her by using expressions that people often learn in high school. After Fields walked out on the conversation, Moore did her usual behind-the-back name-calling, referring to Fields and her hairstyle as "Toodle," which she later explained as "Tootie doing a poodle." Viewers on Twitter made it known that they thought this entire argument was quite possibly the dumbest thing they've seen all season.
RHOA's dumb argument
RHOA's dumb argument
RHOA I Can't
RHOA I Can't
Tootie's Poodle
Tootie's Poodle
The RHOA reunion was pretty crazy, but Secrets Revealed was even better, as it highlighted several of the show's most ridiculous moments. Sadly, tonight's exchange between Moore and Fields may be the last we see, as Fields is rumored to be finished with Bravo.
What did you think of Kenya Moore and Kim Fields' latest argument? Comment and share your opinion below.
Those delicious oats you serve each morning weren't always as easy to find (or to make) as they are today. In fact, it was quite a process to get them to America — and to your breakfast table.
Watch this video to find out more about the origin of your favorite oat and some of its tasty counterparts. Then make yourself a bowl, and appreciate it for the masterpiece it is.
I have been known, from time to time, to indulge in a good 16 and Pregnant marathon, and during that time, I have rewatched Jenelle's episode. Yes, the first time we met Jenelle, when she thought she and Andrew, Jace's father, might be together forever, when she admitted to not having thought about what it would mean to have a kid, and when she impressed us all by texting during labor. I would like to think that we were, on some level, prepared for her to return to our screens in Teen Mom 2, but can one really be ready for such a thing?
Jenelle and her mom, Barb, have always had their issues. From what we've seen on the show, they seem to mainly orbit around Jenelle not being the most responsible creature on the planet, particularly when it comes to Jace, but also in regard to the dudes with whom she associates. We've witnessed many the dramatic screaming match between Jenelle and Barb and, more often that not, Barb's been right. On Sunday's episode, though, Barb made some moves that had Teen Mom 2 fans wondering if maybe they were seeing or hearing things, because, for a second, Jenelle wasn't totally wrong.
Something that happens constantly on this show is one parent trying to get their kid to say something disparaging about their other parent (Chelsea and Adam are particularly guilty of this). Barb, who has primary custody of Jace, has definitely done her share of this as well, but on the latest episode, she skipped all that and went directly to lying to Jenelle about Jace not wanting to come to her house, saying he said he was too tired, when in fact he told Barb he DID want to go.
Jace is apparently always tyrannical when he returns from Jenelle's, but it seems really underhanded to lie to Jenelle, and counterproductive if she wants to create a better relationship with her daughter, which might be in Barb's best interest when and if Jenelle gets custody of Jace back.
In another questionable move, Barb ignored all one thousand of Jenelle's phone calls. The whole world knows how to make Jenelle mad, and Barb seemed to really be interested in continuing to needle her until she snaps — is it with the hope that the more times Jenelle freaks out at her, the less likely she'll be to actually get custody back? Whatever her motivation, fans were less than pleased about Barb's behavior.
TM 1
TM 1
TM2 2
TM2 2
TM2 3
TM2 3
We saw Barb pull another sketchy move last week, when she picked a fight with Jenelle after meeting her new boyfriend for the first time. It's not the best look for Barb to be inciting Jenelle, nor is it necessary — it will be hard for Jenelle to get custody back. Barb is likely acting out of frustration —after all, she's been dealing with Jenelle's predictably awful behavior for years — but also out of a fear that she might actually lose Jace. Still, though, Barb — maybe consider some different tactics.
Since the advent of I Am Cait, the docuseries in which Caitlyn Jenner explores what it means to come out and be out as a transgender woman, Kardashians and Jenners have found ways to appear on the show. Already in Season 2, we've seen Kim, Kylie, Kendall and, on last week's episode, Scott Disick (at this point, he's more or less a Kardashian, depending on what day it is).
On Sunday's episode, Kris Jenner, Caitlyn's ex and momager of the Kardashian/Jenner empire, joined Cait and her friends in New Orleans. Cait was super nervous about seeing Kris, considering how long it's been since they talked and how things went when they did — and when they did meet, things were weird on multiple levels. There was the inevitable gang-up on Cait about her conservative politics and how they irritate and confound almost everyone she knows, plus her less-than-stellar ability to listen to other people when they talk. It was uncomfortable to watch Kris pick at Cait, and yet, when Kris talked with Cait's friends about being trans, everything got worse.
Before I go any further, a couple of things: First, I am 93 percent certain that the producers had something to do with the questions Kris asked and with the way Cait's friends responded. Second, the way I feel about how all this went down has much to do with the fact that I think that a cisgender person seeking to engage meaningfully with trans folks has to do a lot of their own work on trans issues and identity in advance and not rely on trans folks to educate them, in the spirit of not treating trans folks as though they were zoo animals or aliens.
Kris misgendered Cait a few times during the episode, and once, after she said she was going to kill "him" after dinner, Jenny Boylan called her on it. Kris apologized and said, "You've got to keep correcting me." No, Kris, it's not actually Cait's or Jenny's job to remind you to use correct gender pronouns — that's on you. Using the right gender pronoun doesn't get you a cookie; you do it because it's how your friend/ex-partner asked to be identified. Fix it and move on.
Earlier in Sunday's episode, the ladies discussed genitalia and the question of surgery. There were different opinions, of course, because transgender folks are individual and complicated just like everyone else, not a monolith. Chandi said she didn't mind if people asked about genitals as long as they did so with manners (i.e., not the first time they met her). Candis said she thought it was always inappropriate to ask, since it's no one's business.
At dinner in New Orleans, though, Kris thought it would be cool to ask about "the bits and pieces that are below the belt." Cait responded with "Oh my God," and the rest of the crew looked horribly uncomfortable. Kate Bornstein explained to Kris that genitals have very little to do with identity, and Chandi patiently clarified that not all trans folks feel the same way about surgery. I'm sure they have each had to answer this question about a million times before.
One of the motivations for the team's road trip in this part of the season is to bring into focus issues that trans folks are facing across the country. Cait and her friends have taken it upon themselves to educate people about being trans, but there was something deeply disconcerting about Kris asking about surgery and being given an answer when she could have easily done some work in the form of individual conversations. It would have meant that the dinner scene wouldn't exist in this episode, but I think we all would have survived. The questions ensured that the focus was on Kris, not on Cait and her friends and their experiences — but then again, the whole point of Kris being in this episode was to bring attention to her, and so she was going to act as inappropriately as possible. In other words, this episode was in no way a model of how to have a conversation about identity. Consider it an example of what not to do.
We have all heard the stories or lived them: that person on Facebook who is a loud, bigoted, uneducated and ignorant voice — a racist friend you haven’t talked with in years or an embarrassing homophobic cousin who makes posts that are contrary to another person’s livelihood, simply because they do not agree with that person’s humanity.
For me, it was different. My best friend from high school dumped me for being an activist. This is someone with whom I went through the awkward transition of middle school to high school — boyfriends and breakups, acne and algebra.
We were not on bad terms when it happened, although truthfully, I am actually not even quite sure when it happened. It was the winter of 2014, and America was in the midst of another civil rights movement as the events in Ferguson, Missouri, continued in a downward spiral.
I talk about racism on Facebook. I do my best to educate, talking about how my lived experiences coincide with the data. Systemic inequality is a mean phrase, and it is even meaner for those who live through it.
In December of 2014, I went to wish my friend a happy birthday on Facebook, only to find that we were no longer friends. I texted a mutual friend to ask whether or not she knew anything about this situation before I confronted my now former friend (because why overreact when Facebook is just being glitchy?).
I subsequently got a text from my old friend, whom I passed notes with in chemistry and giggled with through Spanish, telling me that my posts about white supremacy and racism “got to be too much." She later admitted she found them “annoying," even though she cares “deeply” about the subject.
I’m still very bothered by this, likely because being dumped by someone I know quite well and who used to be dear to me, all because my posts on racism, white supremacy and anti-blackness made her, a white person, feel uncomfortable, does not equate to her caring about the perils of racism, like she thinks. Being uncomfortable and deleting someone for talking about these things is a selfish act done only to help one’s own self.
Our text conversation consisted of her trying to justify why her actions were correct and necessary, and me trying to explain that this is part of a larger problem. She did not want to hear what I said. She did not think she was wrong. And as hurt as I still am, it would take her understanding the enormity of her actions for me to forgive her. But she probably won’t, because racism will never personally affect her. It's a hurtful betrayal, perhaps more biting than the hate mail I’ve gotten from strangers.
Well-meaning people often think that because they have a black friend, think (certain types of) racism is wrong or do not consciously hate people of color that they are not perpetuating racism or any oppression. This Good Person complex is harmful in actually eliminating racism (or any “ism”) and makes creating equality difficult, because very, very few of us think or want to think about how we could be complicit. Well-meaning folks can themselves be racist, homophobic, transphobic, sexist, etc., a) without intending to, and b) without harboring negative feelings toward marginalized groups.
People work pretty hard to keep their friend groups, Facebook feeds and even their own minds clear of things they disagree with. This psychological phenomenon is known as cognitive dissonance and happens (subconsciously) when information makes us so conflicted and uncomfortable, that we are willing to do anything we can — even lose friends and deny objectively factual information — to get that information away from us: out of sight and out of mind. Indeed, it is the “good” and “normal” people who must be complicit in order for this to continue on any level, be that individual or systemic (think about slavery, or Jim Crow, for examples of this in action).
Something I want both my former friend (and anyone else willing to listen) to know is this: It does not harm you to listen to someone talk about how racism and oppression destroy lives — be it their lives, or those of many people in the Unites States and worldwide. Conversely, people are harmed by oppression virtually every day. When someone speaks, listen. If they seem angry, consider why.
If you would not delete someone for talking openly about their infertility, their cancer, the death of a child or parent, rape or other issues, both systemic problems and individual — ask yourself, why would racism be an okay reason to stick one’s head in the sand? If it is uncomfortable to read about it often, can you imagine how uncomfortable it is to experience, both directly and indirectly, in everyday life? Choosing to end a relationship rather than quietly unfollow (something the unfollowee would never know about) is a statement, and it is more closely related to that bigoted family member we all have than it is to someone fighting for the rights of all people.
Learning to cook a new cuisine can seem daunting, but probably not as daunting as cutting back on your monthly takeout budget. Luckily, by adding some of these ingredients to your shopping list, it'll be easier than ever to add your favorite Thai flavors to dishes you already love.
Whether you marinate some pork chops in red curry paste and coconut milk, add a dash of fish sauce to the slow-cooker next time you make beef stew or go all in and tackle the perfect pad thai, having some of these essential Thai ingredients in your kitchen will make life a whole lot tastier.
1. Fish sauce
Fermented, salty and funky, fish sauce is the backbone of Thai cuisine. Its smell alone may be off-putting, but once it's cooked and combined with other robust Thai ingredients, it adds a deep umami flavor to your food.
If you don't eat fish, you can substitute light soy sauce or golden mountain sauce, a fermented soy product.
Fragrant makrut lime leaves are used to season dishes similarly to bay leaf — most of the time you remove the leaves once the dish is cooked. If you can get your hands on makrut lime leaves, stock up and keep them in the freezer. You can try dried makrut lime leaves, too. If not, try subbing lime zest in recipes that call for the ingredient.
3. Galangal
Often substituted with ginger in the U.S., galangal is an aromatic rhizome that tastes like a citrusy ginger. If you can't find it fresh, dried will do.
4. Thai chiles
Small but potent, Thai bird chiles pack a fiery punch. You can find them at the grocery store, Asian markets or the farmers market — but if you strike out there, you can substitute them with serrano peppers.
5. Garlic
From curry pastes to stir fries, having garlic on hand is essential to recreating your favorite Thai dishes.
6. Shallots
Sliced thinly and tossed with aromatic salads or ground in a mortar and pestle with herbs and chiles to make curry paste, shallots are an easy-to-find essential Thai ingredient.
7. Thai basil
More pungent than the Italian basil you're probably familiar with, Thai basil has notes of anise and licorice, and is incredibly fragrant. You can substitute it with Italian basil in a pinch, or a combo of fresh Italian basil and dried Thai basil.
Used as a garnish or added to soups and stews, fragrant cilantro is a commonly used herb in Thai cooking. Find fresh cilantro, or tubed cilantro paste, at most large grocery stores.
9. Curry paste
You can make red, green, panang and yellow curry pastes at home... but if we're being realistic, it doesn't hurt to have a jar or two of the pre-made stuff around for busy nights. Stir fry veggies, meat or tofu with a spoonful of curry paste for a quick meal, or simmer with coconut milk for a flavorful stew.
10. Rice noodles
Springy rice noodles are the backbone of dishes like pad thai and pad see ew. Most are simply soaked in hot water until softened, then stir fried. Check the international aisle of your grocery store for Thai rice noodles, or look online.
11. Tamarind
Tamarind, a tart-sweet fruit pulp, can usually be purchased as a paste or in a concentrated liquid form. Some recipes use lime mixed with brown sugar, or ketchup, as a substitute for tamarind.
12. Palm sugar
The reduced sap of a palm flower, palm sugar adds a depth of sweetness not attained with refined white sugar. If you can't find palm sugar, try coconut sugar, brown sugar or maple sugar instead.
13. Lemongrass
Lemongrass is a highly fragrant herb that, you guessed it, smells like lemons. Lemongrass is added to curry pastes, as well as to soups and stir-fries. You can find fresh lemongrass at some grocery stores and Asian markets. Also check for lemongrass paste in a tube by the herbs at your grocery store, or frozen lemon grass in the freezer aisle.
14. Coconut milk
Creamy, slightly sweet coconut milk is found in many Thai dishes, from curries to soups. Coconut milk helps temper the fire of Thai chilies and curry pastes while balancing sour and herbal notes, too. Canned coconut milk should be easy to find in your grocery store — check the international aisle.
It’s unnerving how jealous I get thinking about the alone time my husband gets during his commute — and how much I long for that sort of quiet contemplative time. It seems silly, frivolous... that is, until I’m peeing with the door open while my two preschool-aged children fight over who gets to flush the toilet. Alone time of any sort, even in the mundane context of driving to and from work, is a need that goes largely unfulfilled these days.
On the hard days when I’m clock-watching, waiting for my husband to come home, I imagine how I would spend that time, perhaps listening to a favorite podcast without cries from the back seat over a dropped sippy cup or taunting over who got bigger apple slices for snack (NO ONE! I CUT THEM EXACTLY THE SAME!). Maybe I would blast my favorite song, or listen to Missy Elliott without turning down the volume to zero every time a bad word popped up. Maybe I would sing along with the obscenities. Loudly.
Sometimes I'll get the rare chance to drive to the store and back alone, and I won't even turn on the radio, I'll just bask in the silence. I’m hyper-aware of what precious little time I have alone, and I try my best to take advantage of it. I’ll stay in the shower just a few extra minutes listening to the hum of my own thoughts, uninterrupted. I’ll wake up in the middle of the night for a glass of water and stand in the dark, quiet living room for a moment, taking it all in.
My husband doesn't realize how these little moments of solitude are luxuries to me, because his life involves so much unnoticed alone time. He has a whole life that is clearly separated from fatherhood, and all the noise that comes with it. I, on the other hand, am always coupled with our children. He doesn’t understand the loudness wrapped up in the constancy of motherhood, because he does not live it.
There is no quiet time built into this job. Yet for all my jealousy, I know I would not switch places with my husband if given the chance. On a hard day? Maybe. But on the whole, I chose this life for myself because it’s what I wanted — in spite of the volume, in spite of how hard it is.
I’ll long for these days when the house is quiet. So I’ll take the noise for now, and enjoy the small voices in the backseat during my commutes.
If Facebook is any indication, it can often look like everyone's living it up on Mother's Day with flowers and a five-course brunch. But if Mother's Day has become a holiday that brings more bad than good, you're certainly not alone. There are many adult children estranged from their parents who find this to be a difficult day to celebrate.
Unfortunately, there aren't a lot of resources for estranged adult children who need support. If you're struggling with estrangement this Mother's Day, remember to take care of yourself. Here are a few strategies for getting through the day.
1. Allow yourself to grieve
Most of the estranged adult children I know are survivors of abuse, both physical and emotional. Yet they have an incredible burden placed on their shoulders: the directive to forgive — whatever the cost — that abuse in the name of filial harmony. It is sometimes easier, they tell me, to say that their mother (or father) is dead. There are fewer questions that way, and no one asks you to justify yourself.
It can be helpful to let yourself mourn the loss of your parent. Or, more accurately, mourn the loss of having a parent you could have mourned for. Be sensitive to those who have lost a well-loved mother, but give yourself permission to grieve. Someone who has lost a loved one has many happy memories to draw upon for comfort. Estranged children often don't. That is a loss, pure and simple.
Another common feeling among adult estranged children is the feeling of being cheated. Maybe your childhood was nonexistent. Maybe your parents have taken financial advantage of you or destroyed your past, healthy relationships with other people. Sabotaged your career, destroyed your self-worth. Get pissed if you need to. Throw something. Smash something. Don't hurt yourself, and don't hurt anyone else, but you're allowed to have feelings, so feel them.
3. Distract yourself
Everything — and I do mean everything — is shouting at you this time of year to show your mother how much you care. All manner of products, from water bottles to mattress stores, are plastered with pastels and flowers and are branded for Mother's Day. It's impossible to avoid them all, but you can work on distracting yourself. Stay inside if you need to. Paint a picture. Polish the silver. Count blades of grass. Make a blanket fort. Weather the storm. If you have to work on Mother's Day, especially at a service-oriented place that's celebrating the day, call off if you need to and can afford it. Stay away from social media if you can help it.
4. Choose to celebrate someone else
There are likely other women and men whose positive influence and general awesomeness have touched your life you can celebrate. Thank your mother-in-law, your high school math teacher, a college roommate, the nice man at the liquor store who always makes sure your favorite beer is chilled. Turn Mother's Day into Other People Are Also Awesome Day, and celebrate that way.
Why? Because you're awesome. You've endured a hell of a lot, you've survived, and maybe you even have a child of your own. Take back Mother's Day, and celebrate what an awesome mom you are. You probably grew up thinking you were not lovable or worthy of love. You are. Bask in that.
Even if you aren't a mom, take this day to pat yourself on the back, whether you are male or female or otherwise. Chances are you parented yourself anyway or parented your parents, so in a way, all thanks goes to you. Make a list of your best qualities. Read them out loud. Buy yourself snacks and a card and all of the Mother's Day detritus, and hoard it.
6. Recognize (and reject) triggering situations
Estrangement is extremely difficult to understand for people who aren't going through it. Sometimes you'll be greeted with pure projection — "How selfish can you be? I don't even have a mother!" And sometimes you'll encounter a well-intentioned amateur family therapist — "It's never too late to make amends, you know."
Do not let people bully you, even if they don't know they're doing it, into engaging in a conversation where you are triggered by past abuse or seeking their permission to end a toxic relationship. Practice saying, "You might not be trying to hurt me, but you are. Please stop," in a firm voice with a meaningful glare. Say it a lot. Walk away.
Here's another thing to repeat to yourself, as many times as you need to, until it sinks in: "I am not alone." You aren't. There are places online and in real life where you can connect with people who are struggling with estrangement, and if you're comfortable doing it, you should absolutely make use of them. You can start with ASCA, or Adults Surviving Childhood Abuse, visit the RaisedbyNarcissists or parentlessbychoice sub-Reddits, or check for local support groups that can help.
8. Know when you need to call for backup
Fresh estrangement is a new kind of pain. The loneliness is staggering. You may suffer from PTSD. If you ever experience suicidal ideation, seek help immediately.
If you suspect someone might be considering suicide or you have struggled with those thoughts yourself, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
Joe Giudice can't quite give interviews about his experience behind bars just yet. Thankfully, his lawyer James J. Leonard has no qualms about opening up to People about his client's new life in prison.
"I visited with Joe on Friday and he is doing as well as can be expected," said Leonard. "I would say that he is adjusting very well. I know that he misses Teresa and their four daughters immensely, but Joe will get through this, just like Teresa did."
Giudice's mother and sister visited the prison last week, but People reports that Teresa Giudice is having difficulty obtaining visitor privileges due to her own legal issues. Leonard's confident that it won't be a problem for long. "Teresa will be visiting with the girls as quickly as she is approved by the prison, which should be within the next week," says Leonard.
The lone bright spot in the prison yard: Giudice isn't the only Bravo star there. Apollo Nida, The Real Housewives of Atlanta star Phaedra Parks' estranged husband, is also serving time at Fort Dix for bank fraud and identity theft. Leonard says Nida "was an absolute gentleman and helped [Giudice] get acclimated." Two reality show husbands suffering through prison together? Now that would make a good series.
On Mother's Day, and especially as a mother of young children, it really is the thought that counts. This is the one time of year when your kids are going to bring you their best and their brightest — the adorable drawings, poems or paintings that they've put hours of work into.
We've rounded up the sweetest homemade Mother's Day crafts in case your partner (or your kids) needs an idea for what to get Mom this year:
This craft from I Can Teach My Child is more than a bouquet of cupcake liner flowers — each one offers a coupon Mom can redeem for things like a free hug.
Supermodel Bar Refaeli is showing off her two babies on Instagram: the one in her belly and the one coming to a store near you, i.e. her new business venture.
Refaeli, who announced her pregnancy on New Year's Eve, made another special announcement today. She is launching a swimwear line in collaboration with Israeli activewear brand Hoodies.
"Coming soon... A baby & My swimwear collection BAR for @hoodiesil (sic)," she wrote.
Refaeli, who is about five months pregnant, chose a daring thong bikini for the announcement and is seen cradling her baby bump. But oddly, that swimsuit isn't even part of her line — it is from L*Space by Monica Wise, according to Vogue.com.
The supermodel is expecting a baby girl with her husband Adi Ezra, and the announcment came just four months after their wedding. She previously enjoyed a long romance with Oscar-winning actor Leonardo DiCaprio.
Her baby bump came not a moment too soon, as she had previously said she couldn't wait to have a large family.
"I think this will be a decade of family," she told Hello! Fashion Monthly. "A lot of (moms) could read this and think, 'Yeah, try having one first.' Hopefully, I'll have a big family, but I'll take it one by one."
Refaeli is thought to be due in September. No word on when her swimwear line will be released.
A very special guest star is coming to NCIS. According to The Washington Post, first lady Michelle Obama will appear in an episode alongside Mark Harmon. Anyone else think FLOTUS will give Gibbs a run for his money?
Details surrounding the scene and episode have yet to be unveiled, but it's definitely going to be an exciting one. Seeing as NCIS films in Los Angeles, it will be great to see scenes filmed in Washington, D.C., where the show takes place.
According to photojournalist Greg Mathieson (via The Washington Post), Harmon revealed that he would film inside and outside the White House Monday. The 64-year-old actor also reportedly told Mathieson that, yes, Michelle Obama would be part of a scene as well.
The news was also confirmed by Dennis Smith, who appears to be directing the episode. I think it's safe to say that he (and probably everyone else involved) is overjoyed to film in D.C. and with FLOTUS.
So, what kind of role do you think Obama will play? I'm going to assume she'll be portraying herself, but I wonder how she'll factor into the episode?
It appears that Harmon will be the only one filming with Obama, so does anyone else think Tony, McGee, Abby, Bishop, Ducky, Palmer, Vance and everyone else back at NCIS will be jealous of Gibbs' encounter with the first lady? I can only imagine how they'll react.
After 13 seasons, it's about time a major political figure like Obama appeared on NCIS, don't you think?
As the first deaf star to dance on the reality competition show, DiMarco hopes to spread awareness about what it means to be deaf.
During his vlog on People, DiMarco explained via a translator that he and his partner Peta Murgatroyd are "doing a samba for Tarzan," says the model. "I feel feel like the two of us have a lot in common... Tarzan, growing up, had a different culture. And Tarzan knew and was very aware of his own culture until other people came in and actually told him that he needed to change."
He continued, "Tarzan was upset about this but what Tarzan actually did — he took a look at their culture and understood what they had to offer, but he knew that his was different and he wanted to go back to his own culture, which correlates with how I was raised. I was raised in a deaf family. I embody deaf culture and I know what is best for me and for future generations. There are so many different cultures out there but it's all about mutual respect. Let their cultures thrive because they know what's best for themselves."
DiMarco's dance tonight will be even more poignant given that the star announced last weekend that he is launching the Nyle DiMarco Foundation, which seeks to provide resources to deaf children and their parents.
If you haven't heard the news, according to Ian Somerhalder, The Vampire Diaries may be ending after Season 8. While appearing at Walker Stalker Con 2016 in Nashville, the TVD star declared, "We have decided to do one last season to really do the story justice." He added, "My role is shifting in the show and we have a lot to do, basically."
I'm sure die-hard fans are heartbroken, especially since that means Damon and Stefan Salvatore just might be leaving the small screen sooner rather than later. Well, before fans cry too many tears, it hasn't been confirmed. Reps for The CW told Entertainment Weekly that "no decision has been made" about whether or not the beloved vampire series will officially conclude after Season 8.
TVD ending
TVD ending
I hate to put a dampener on the good news that there is still hope for TVD to return for another season, but I'm going to say something I never thought I'd ever say and something that may upset fans: It's time for TVD to end.
It pains me to even say those words, but it's something I've come to terms with. Before you become too angry with me, hear me out.
I've been a longtime fan and one who couldn't wait to see dark Damon, Stefan's hero hair and how badass Caroline would become with each new episode. I would never miss an episode and, of course, had to watch each one live to avoid spoilers.
Sadly, with Season 7 I have found myself dreading new episodes and losing interest in whatever is happening. As much as I still care about the original characters, I don't care about the story lines. Not to mention, I don't care about the new characters. I know my passion for TVD has changed, especially when I don't live in fear of spoilers, and if I am spoiled, I don't mind. Unlike my old self, I also let new episodes sit in my DVR for a few days before I decide to finally press play. When it comes time to watch, I only half pay attention.
Now, some of you might be wondering, why don't you just stop watching? Well, I ask myself that very same question. To be honest, I can't bring myself to. Damon, Stefan, Caroline, Bonnie, Matt, Alaric, Enzo and whatever other familiar favorite pops up have a strong hold on me. I just can't quit them.
To be honest, I've had a feeling for a while that the series would be coming to an end, so I figured I might as well keep watching, since the end is probably around the corner. I've come this far, so why give up now?
As they say, all good things must come to an end. Yes, that includes this. Like many series, I'd like for TVD to close on a high note (if it can turn around strongly in seasons 7 and 8), rather than being dragged out and continuing down a boring road.
But let's say it does get renewed for Season 9, then what? Where can it go from here? I don't know if it can ever go back to what it once was. Obviously, series grow and adapt with time, like TVD has. However, it hasn't grown in a positive way. At least for me it hasn't.
I also can't forget to mention that Kat Graham said she is exiting after Season 8, which means there will be even fewer female characters. I hope (and assume) more women will be added to the show if it gets another life, but if not, I'm not sure I can keep watching. As much as I love all of the male characters (and I adore them — a lot), I don't know if I can get on board with a lack of female empowerment.
Furthermore, it seems like more and more original characters are leaving and are ready to move on to newer projects. How can TVD be TVD without the characters who made me fall in love with the series to begin with?
Whatever happens or doesn't happen, the curtains need to close on TVD before it becomes even less interesting than it already is in Season 7. Don't get me wrong, I will be sad when that day does come, but it's time.
The Vampire Diaries airs Fridays at 8/7c on The CW.
Rob Kardashian may be planning his return to reality TV, but he won’t be doing it with his family. The only brother in the Kardashian family has been noticeably absent from Keeping Up with the Kardashians for the last few seasons, saying he’s uncomfortable being in front of the camera at his current weight. But his attitude has completely changed now that he’s in love and engaged to Blac Chyna.
The pair, who has only been public about their relationship for the last couple months, is considering taping their entire wedding for viewers to enjoy. It’s a family tradition that both Kim and Khloé have taken part in. But rather than be excited about their little brother’s wedding, the sisters and Kris have stayed mostly silent about the whole thing.
It’s no secret that Blac Chyna creates some complicated family dynamics, but if I had to guess, I’d say the hurt that Rob’s sisters are feeling is less about her and more about his actions. The family spent the last few years doing everything they could to motivate Rob to get his life together. They’ve offered to exercise with him, Khloé’s opened her home to him and they’ve all tried to get him help for his emotional struggles, but he never acted like he was ready to change.
And then he fell in love and everything was different.
Now he’s the happiest guy in the world, ready to lose his extra weight and get in front of the cameras, all at the cost of his relationship with the women who have been supporting him for his whole life.
I don’t know what any of the Kardashian sisters are thinking, but as an older sister, I know this would be heartbreaking.
Khloé, who is usually the most honest and open on social media, posted a heartfelt Instagram post basically saying no matter how much you love someone, you can’t make them be better. She wrote that, “This is in fact their life to figure out on their own and in their own time.”
Most people think that this was a direct response to Lamar Odom’s recent behavior, but she could also be talking about Rob and how he’s been treating his family for so long. No matter who it’s about specifically, Rob could take a little bit more initiative to mend relationships with his family before he jumps back on TV to get married.
What do you think? Does Rob owe his family more respect or should they just be happy that he’s found love?
