Whether you're new to baking bread or an old hand who's always looking for tips to make your life easier, you've got to read these nine tips straight from the bread-baking masters at King Arthur Flour.
I've been a fan of King Arthur Flour for a long time. Its recipes are second to none in terms of complete and easy-to-follow instructions, and if I may say so, its flour really is superior to the cheap store brands I used to use. I was thrilled to get the chance to pick the brain of Katie Walker, King Arthur Flour's spokeswoman and baker extraordinaire in her own right, for her top tips for bakers of bread, spreaders of butter and sandwich-makin' fools.
1. Always read the recipe twice
According to Walker, it's imperative you always read the recipe twice. This is actually good advice for anything you're making, but bread in particular can reach a point of no return. You don't want to have to throw out an entire recipe because you misread the amount of yeast to use.
2. Premeasure your ingredients
It's called cooking mise en place, and it's just as vital with bread as with anything else. Measure out all your ingredients before you get started. You can put them into different containers as needed (bowls, teacups, whatever you have). This helps ensure that you have enough of everything you need before you get started and that it's ready when you are.
3. Get a baking scale… and become a power user
Baking ingredients are almost always best measured by weight (ounces, grams, etc.), not volume (cups, teaspoons, etc.). But the great thing about measuring by volume is that when you do measure ingredients together, you can use the scale's tare function to put them all in the same bowl immediately. Definitely cuts down on cleanup!
4. Use an oven thermometer, make some toast
You need to know if your oven is properly calibrated and whether it has hot spots (it probably will).
You can purchase an oven thermometer for a few dollars, and it can really help you "diagnose" your oven. If your oven thermometer tells you it's hotter or cooler than it should be, you should have a technician out to recalibrate.
Once you're sure your oven is properly calibrated, you should check it for hot spots. Pretty much all ovens have hot spots. How do you know where they are? Make some toast. Just put several pieces of bread on your baking sheet, and let it ride for five or 10 minutes. When you pull it out, any darker pieces will represent your hot spots, meaning you may need to either put more delicate things in a different area or even turn your bread part of the way through baking. There's probably not much you can do about hot spots, unless you have a convection oven (where the air can circulate), since it's probably the way the oven was manufactured (that is, all ovens will have them), but knowing it can really help you know when to turn your baked goods.
5. Use parchment (or silicone baking mats)
Depending on how often you bake, using precut parchment or a silicone mat is a great tip. It keeps your baked goods from sticking to the pan without the use of excess fat and keeps your pans looking like new.
If you bake infrequently, use parchment. Walker recommends precut parchment for its ease of use. She also says parchment can be used multiple times before having to throw it away. If you're a hardcore regular baker, you might consider a silicone baking mat instead, which has the same effect with less waste.
6. Measure it right
Walker advocates weight measurement, but if you have to measure by volume (as many recipes require), do so correctly. With things like flour, she recommends the "fluff, dust and scrape" method. That is, after fluffing your flour, you then spoon it in and level it off.
7. Keep your ingredients the right temperature
Walker stresses how important it is to have your ingredients the right temperature. Everyone knows yeast has to be added to the right temperature of water, but if it applies to your recipe, butter should be either cold or softened as instructed, because it can affect your recipe. She recommends that any recipes calling for eggs without any specific instructions use eggs that are room temperature.
8. Take baking classes
If you have them available in your area, baking classes are invaluable. Walker notes that, if available in your area, King Arthur's classes are so good she takes them herself. But if they aren't, sometimes seeing someone actually doing it or having someone there to correct you can be the best learning tool.
9. There's no such thing as failure
According to Walker, you can't be afraid to fail. You'll screw it up, sure. But think of it as a learning experience. If you give up after you mess up, you'll never really learn. Keep researching and trying.
Walker recommends beginning bakers to start with easy recipes. She actually suggested a recipe for beginners that I've made several times: no-knead crusty white bread. Ridiculously easy.
Jodie Sweetin doesn't just have her eye on that Dancing with the Stars mirror ball — she is also hoping to nab husband No. 4.
Having just celebrated the fifth anniversary of her sobriety, Fuller House star Sweetin says she has learned from her mistakes and hopes to make a far better future for herself.
"We all have our demons," she told Us Weekly of her addiction to alcohol and drugs including, but not limited to, crystal meth. "When we finally learn to let them go, we get to live and be free."
If anything, she knows how lucky she is to have two healthy daughters and a new fiancé after three failed marriages.
"I've got everything I could want," she said. "I look back at things that have happened in the past, and I look at where I'm now, and it's crazy. If anything, my life is a lesson to never give up."
Sweetin met Justin Hodak through mutual friends in 2014, and he has a unique perspective on her past struggles, because he is an addict, too.
"He was 11 years sober in December," she explained. "We turn to each other for support. We both have our own lives and things we're excited about, but we combine that, where we have this great relationship."
So great, in fact, that the two are planning their wedding. Will the fourth time be the charm? He definitely asked the right way: he went to her daughters first.
"He's so different and, really importantly, I'm different," she said. "Every day we're choosing to be together, choosing to build a life together. I haven't always had the best luck in relationships, and I've learned a lot of lessons. I want to be married. I don't think there's anything wrong [with] admitting that it didn't work before and trying again."
If you have a cat, you're probably aware of cat tents, or cat teepees, as they're sometimes called. These little sleeping dens are all the rage these days because they look cute and don't take up too much space. However, they're not the cheapest of pet accoutrements.
That's a pretty sizable chunk of change to drop on a basic sleeping spot for your kitty. I mean, I know they're your fur baby and all, but come on — one has to also pay the rent.
However, I have some good news for those cat owners who don't mind getting a little creative. You can easily make a cat tent yourself in no time using stuff you already have lying around the house.
Supplies:
1 size Large woman's or size Small men's T-shirt
2 square pieces cardboard that are at least 12 x 12 inches
Glue
2 wire hangers
A wire cutter (although you don't absolutely need this)
Pliers
Heavy-duty tape (preferably duct tape)
A cat (or 2)
Safety pins (at least 5)
An old sweatshirt (or towel)
Instructions:
Start by gluing together the 2 pieces of cardboard, and let dry fully before moving on to step 2.
Either use wire cutters to cut the hook off both your hangers, or just twist the hangers open using pliers.
Bend the wires into gentle curves.
Poke holes into all 4 corners of the cardboard base.
Take 1 wire, and stick it into a corner of your cardboard base. Take the other end of the wire, and stick it through the hole diagonally from the one you just pushed the wire through. Repeat with the other hanger. The 2 hangers should cross in the middle.
Pull a bit of the wire ends through, and bend so the ends are flush with the base. This will keep your hangers in place.
Secure the ends with tape.
Secure the area where the wires meet at the top with tape.
Slowly inch your T-shirt over the wires and base until the neckhole of the T-shirt is positioned between 1 of the openings made by the wires.
Using safety pins, secure the T-shirt bottom and sleeves to the base.
Not too bad, right? The only thing I was worried about was the size of the opening. No matter how I stretched it, I couldn't get it bigger than that. However, my cats didn't seem to mind.
Image: Ally Hirschlag
It took my cat Bill a minute before he decided it was safe to go all the way in, but he did do it eventually. I decided to leave the back of my tent open because I have two cats who often like to battle over new sleeping spaces, so I thought it best to give them an escape hatch.
That's all there is to it! You can absolutely play around with the hole size and shape of the tent (since it's made of bendable wire). And the best part is, it didn't cost you a dime to make, unless you ran out of tape before embarking on the project (like I did).
Kim Kardashian must be a James Corden fan, because she's getting in on the Carpool Karaoke game. Kardashian drove around with Lil' Kim and her former publicist Tracy Nguyen last night, singing to some of the rapper's most famous hits. Kim Kardashian knows the words to "Benjamins," you guys.
The videos come just in time for the release of Lil' Kim Season, a mixtape made up of previously released tracks and remakes of popular hip-hop songs. "It always seems like it's a time every year when everyone's either playing my music or paying homage with some of my most iconic looks," she tells Billboard of her album concept.
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Lil Kim spoke to Billboard about returning to music after a hiatus for motherhood. "For a long time, my focus was my baby,” she says. "I wasn't thinking about music at all, and my focus was just raising my baby. Now that she's 19 months and she's going to be 2 this summer, she's motivating me to do music again. We play music all the time and she's always dancing." Of course, it also helps to have other famous moms — we see you, Kim Kardashian — in your corner when you're promoting a new album.
Beyoncé? Athletic wear designer? It's news to us too, but it was apparently rumored back in 2014. Queen Bey just officially announced the line called Ivy Park, to be sold at Nordstrom, Husdon's Bay and Topshop, starting April 14. The brand already has 36,000 followers on Instagram, so let that be a testament to the powers that be Bey.
Go to the website, and you'll be greeted with flashy videos of women (including Bey) getting sweaty and an entire soundtrack to complement the montage. You'll also be haunted with flashbacks to when she dropped her album in 2013 without a word. You had no notice. No time to request a day off so you could listen on loop with no distractions, and only an Instagram post and press release to explain what happened and how on Earth this slipped past you.
She's sneaky, that one. This time she gave you 15 days to dream up all the details. How much will it cost? How many pieces will there be? Are there colors? Are there patterns? Bodysuits. Leotards. Will there be leotards?
Here's the trailer that tells you everything we know and she has an interview in Elle that hits stands April 6th. As for the rest, gather your camping gear and survival kit. Head to the nearest Bey-approved retailer (listed above) on April 13. All you can do is wait. And stalk the Ivy Park Instagram.
We've all got ideas about what kids ought and ought not to eat and drink, and right at the top of the no-no list, most parents agree, is an abundance of sugary stuff. Of course, in practice, keeping your kids out of the sugar bowl isn't as easy as it might seem — there's sugar in everything, for one thing — but that doesn't mean it isn't a priority for a lot of parents of young kids.
So why, then, is Ashton Kutcher's declaration that he and wife Mila Kunis are sticklers on not giving their daughter, Wyatt, sugar being met with groans and eye rolls?
The topic came up when Kutcher appeared on Jimmy Kimmel Live, where he gave a quick recap of the world's most adorable family's Easter festivities. He mentioned that he didn't think his 18-month-old was ready to chase the sugar dragon yet, so he and Kunis filled a plastic egg with raisins instead. The little one dug the treat, the sugar bomb has yet to detonate, and everyone made it through unscathed, so what's the big deal?
Well, according to the Internet, the big deal is that by depriving a toddler of treats loaded with sugar, her parents are dooming her to a life of sadness and a childhood completely devoid of magic. Poor thing!
Somehow, though, we're pretty sure Wyatt will make it out of her Dickensian, sugar-free childhood pretty OK. For one thing, it's not like they've banned something strange that children need, like putting the kibosh on plain water and placing her on an all-coconut-milk diet to align her chakras or something. Their no-sugar stance isn't "oh, celebrities" wacky — it's not even regular-person wacky. It's a good goal.
And while the old adage about hyperactivity and sugar is dubious at best, there are plenty of reasons to limit a kid's sugar intake, including preventing obesity, lowering diabetes risk and keeping those pearly whites cavity free. Most pediatricians recommend keeping sugar intake for kids at a scant 5 to 15 percent of their entire caloric intake, which includes naturally occurring sugar from foods like fruit.
That brings it around to the next reason it's fruitless to worry about little Wyatt's poor little rich girl existence. The two of them aren't feeding her gruel. They did give her some raisins, which are — hold on to those pearls — pretty sweet themselves.
And a toddler doesn't know the difference. If the sweetest thing she ever eats is a raisin, then as far as she's concerned, dried, wrinkly grapes are the height of decadence. She doesn't exactly miss what she's never had, so everyone can feel free to crank down the concern by a full notch or two.
Banning sugar, especially early on, isn't some act of stringent Cromwellian cruelty. It's actually pretty laudable, and most parents try to hold out as long as possible. If these two have the resources, the wherewithal and a willing toddler, then more power to them!
But does his retraction even matter at this point? Aside from the fact that Trump made yet another shocking statement and the fact that we're all feeding into his reality-show media strategy by talking about this, he did bring up an important point, albeit one he likely didn't intend: Women are already punished for their reproductive choices, a fact I saw over and over and over again in my jobs as a rape crisis counselor and at a battered women's clinic.
I spent two years trying to help women in almost every conceivable horrible situation, and if one thing was clear, it was that no matter what choices they made, they were being punished. I watched women who'd been raped, abused, beaten, tortured — including some women who'd attempted suicide to escape their desperate situations — make the most heart-wrenchingly impossible decisions, knowing they'd be punished no matter what they decided. And that's not even including the guilt they punished themselves with, the worries and what-ifs.
I saw teens who decided to keep a baby punished with economic hardship and shamed by their families. I also saw teens who gave up a baby for adoption punished with shame and regret.
I saw women who'd given birth in "ideal" situations (married, stable, healthy) punished economically by losing money, career advancements and retirement accounts. And this happened to some extent regardless of whether they chose to stay home and care for the children or if they chose to return to work.
I saw women who were sexually assaulted and then punished for doing something as minor as drinking at the wrong party, hence being held responsible for the crime against their own bodies.
I saw women forced to decide whether they wanted to keep a pregnancy that resulted from rape. If they said yes, they were punished with daily reminders of their trauma. If they said no, they were punished with pain and social stigma.
I saw college girls punished for being sexually active, called sluts while the men they slept with got high-fives.
I saw women fleeing abusive relationships who had their own fertility used against them, with partners who impregnated them as an attempt to continue to keep them weak and dependent.
I saw gay and queer women punished for simply having sexuality.
I saw women who were sex workers punished in innumerable ways, both physically and mentally, for doing a job that many were forced into in the first place.
And I saw children, both born and unborn, punished for the atrocities foisted on their mothers. Because when the mother suffers, so does the child. Always.
I'm not saying I have all the answers or that any situation — particularly when it comes to things dealing with our sexuality, pregnancy and abortion — is black and white. Almost nothing, I discovered, fits tidily into a box of right or wrong. But one thing is quite clear: You don't have to punish women, because we already are.
"Has your adoption agency called you yet ?" he asked. I was sitting breastfeeding my 4-month-old baby girl, enjoying the sun streaming through our windows, when the phone rang. It was our lawyer.
"No, they haven't. I was just waiting for them to call and give me a court date. Do you have the date?"
We were eager to finalize the adoption of our baby girl and make her truly ours, according to the law, not just our hearts.
My 4-month-old baby girl had been placed in our home for adoption at the age of three days. We were told the adoption would be quick and easy. Her birth mother had terminated her parental rights before leaving the hospital and the birth father a few weeks later. She had some special needs that made her "hard to place." When our daughter was just 3 months old, I gave birth to our son. As soon as my milk came in, I began breastfeeding our daughter as well. She transitioned from bottle to breast with no issues at all. We worked hard on attachment in her first few months. I carried her in a sling during the day and she slept with me at night. Anticipating the day I would begin to breastfeed her, I was the only person to give her bottles. By the time I got the life-altering phone call she already felt like my own flesh and blood.
"Your daughter is part Native American. I already checked and her birth father has family members registered with the Choctaw Tribe."
Relief flooded over me. He didn't understand.
"She's legally free," I said. "Her birth father has relinquished his rights".
"It doesn't matter" he said, his voice tense. "Being legally free is a state law. The Indian Child Welfare Act is federal law; it supersedes everything else."
And with that, the rug was pulled out from under us. Our world was shattered.
The Indian Child Welfare Act of 1978 was created in a time when many Native American children were being moved from their own homes to allegedly "better" white homes. The law gave Native American tribes the right to make decisions for Native American children who came into state care. It was a terrible time in adoption history and the law was necessary then.
I frantically called the adoption agency and was told it was true. And beyond that, if the tribe decided we couldn't adopt her, she would be removed immediately. We were not a licensed foster home and couldn't become licensed because we had "too many" children in the home. Too many to foster, but apparently not too many to adopt.
"So they would move her to a Native American home?" I asked. I was still in a state of shock. I was trying to find my footing.
"Probably not. There are not many Native American foster homes".
"So, if there are no Native American homes, we could keep her... right?"
"No. The tribe has a right to say she cannot be adopted by a white family. Even if they have no Native American home to move her to."
We were devastated. We were terrified. My husband and I were afraid to even have that conversation. Would we fight for her? Or give her up now, when she could be moved to a new (likely long-term foster) home at a younger age? What if we didn't agree with each other? What if one of us wanted to fight and the other didn't?
It all made no sense to me. Her birth father had relatives registered with a Native American tribe and was not even registered himself. That was enough to have our daughter moved out of our home (her adoptive home) into a non-Native American foster home?
Our lawyer got to work immediately. By law, he had to contact every band of the tribe and get permission for us to adopt her. If any band said no, she would be moved. Immediately.
Because of my own experiences, I have watched the recent case of Lexi's removal from her foster parents, Rusty and Summer Page for similar reasons, with interest. Seeing another family live through one of our greatest fears has been difficult and made me think closely about the situation. This is not a case in which public opinion should be a driving factor in individual cases. Facebook and Twitter should not be determining the fate of this child.
That said, I do think that the Indian Child Welfare Act needs to be updated. While I understand why the law was made, I think some new requirements would be beneficial. Why move a child from a white adoptive family to a white foster family as they did in Lexi's case? How about if a tribe decides to remove a child from a non-Native American home, they are required to provide a Native American home?
In our case, the Choctaw tribe signed off on our adoption and our daughter is now a beautiful, lively, active 10-year-old. She knows and is proud of her Choctaw heritage.
But I know the anguish Lexi's foster family faced. I know that the foster care system is broken in many, many ways. I know that Lexi's story is gut-wrenching for everyone involved. Perhaps, instead of using Lexi as a public pawn that pulls at heartstrings and is soon forgotten, we can use her story as a stepping stone to once again open up the conversation about adoption, foster care and the Indian Child Welfare Act.
Can men and women actually be friends? That seems to be the eternal question, especially in a society that espouses the (heavily stereotyped) notion that "men are from Mars and women are from Venus." So what does it take for healthy friendships to form between genders? We turned to our favorite Raging Feminists to find out how to make it work.
What does it take for women and men to be actual friends?
"Mutual respect, honesty, compatible values, empathy, generosity — you know, all the things that it takes for a person to be actual friends with any other person, regardless of gender. I mean, I'm as big a When Harry Met Sally fan as anyone, but that movie really has some toxic messages about the way that men and women relate, doesn't it? Personally, I value my closest male friendships as deeply as I value my closest female friendships. The idea that women can't have real friendships with men is entirely heterosexist, and we need to stop pretending it's not." — Carrie Nelson
"I think it's really quite simple: They both have to want be, without subtext or expectation. Believe it or not, some of my best friends are men (Ha! I know, right?), and that's all we've ever wanted from each other." — Helen Androlia
"Although gender vastly defines us, it isn't our sum total. As long as you're authentic to yourself, you can be friends with anyone. Sexual tension can be just that — tension; you don't have to ever act on it. Or maybe you do once or twice to get it out of the way, and on with the friendship." — Jill Di Donato
"Nothing more or less than a total absence of misogyny and sexism. I have a lot of close male friends, and it only works (long term) if there is strong mutual respect on both sides. If both people are straight, it helps to be mature enough to handle whatever fleeting sexual attraction you might feel for each other. As a straight woman, I have some strong friendships with both straight and gay men — they enrich my life immeasurably! If it made my husband uncomfortable, I'd be pretty sure I chose the wrong husband. (One of the things that attracted me to him in the first place is that he has some close women friends, strong and amazing women, and they vouched for him!)" — Kate Tuttle
"I find it to be very similar to same-gender friendships. Mutual respect, loyalty (but willing to call you on your shit when necessary), kindness, etc. Respect can include, 'If you find yourself developing feelings, I hope you will respect me enough to either a) talk about it without being creepy, or b) if you know it's not going to be reciprocated for whatever reason, don't make it weird.'" — Sara Habein
"Zero attraction or a whole lot of restraint." — Amanda Lauren
"Friendship is some combination of fun, shared interests, trust, empathy and a bit of pixie dust. BUT, if you're crushing on someone who wants to be platonic friends, and you're hanging around with the sole hope that they'll eventually come around and sleep with you, all the while accusing them of putting you in the 'friend zone'? Not friendship. It's basically saying, 'I don't actually value you or our relationship unless we're also having sex.' Also, 'friend zone' is not a real word and should be stricken from the vocabulary." — Therese Schechter
"More than anything else, it requires men to manage their own sexual desires. As a woman who had testosterone running her endocrine show for about 25 years, I know how incredibly overwhelming those bodily signals can be. (Estrogen produces bodily signals that are similarly overwhelming, but in my experience to date over the last year and a half or so, much less difficult to recognize and manage.) With a testosterone-dominant hormonal makeup, I had to put real, serious, conscious effort into interacting in a non-sexualized context with women I was attracted to in any way (e.g., as another similarly intelligent person or one who shared an interest). I had to deliberately and consciously fight to not automatically sort them into 'sexually desirable' and 'sexually undesirable' piles in my mind, but to instead throw that system of classification out entirely. I had just started to see some real benefit to that practice, through continued conscientious application of it, when I realized that I was a woman, and started HRT. Once I had an estrogen-dominant hormonal makeup, the fight stopped. I still engage with other women in the non-sexualized context that I did before, I just don't need to work at it to do it, and I place the origin of that conflict squarely on testosterone." — Seranine Elliot
"It requires setting ground rules and defining the relationship at the onset of the friendship. It also means having a conversation about expectations and revisiting the friendship if it matures into something more than a platonic relationship." — Rudri Bhatt Patel
"I've had many straight male friends for decades, one from age 4(!), from junior high and even from my college dorm freshman year. They're like the brothers I never had, even though I have a brother; the relationships are steady, constant as the North Star, there's no drama and never has been. We're equals, and depending on what's going on, we can be in a multiple email flurry one week, radio silence the next, but I don't ever need to wonder where I stand or feel judged on anything but my personality. It's liberating! They're also as spontaneous as I am, and less than a day's notice is typical on both sides for getting together — something that would drive me crazy in a romantic relationship." — Debra A. Klein
"Ha! I have no idea. I've never had any hetero male friends who weren't my hetero male partner's friend first. I have male co-workers with whom I am friendly, but as a childhood sexual abuse survivor, I've always been suspicious of men — even men who clearly do not deserve my suspicion. I think that's an unfortunate consequence of early conditioning, but I also imagine I'm not the only one. Many of my high school male friends came out of the closet after high school... So I don't know what that means." — Amanda Adams
"For women and men to be true friends to each other, we need to forget the stereotypes we have been taught — stop seeing each other as 'woman friend' and 'man friend,' with all the assumptions that brings, and start seeing just FRIEND. Just someone I respect. Just someone whose company I enjoy. Just someone I want to be happy and who wants the same for me.
Of course, I'm pansexual, so all friendships come equally fraught with the potential for unrequited attraction. I need to decide that being friends is more important than sexual tension... Or realize when it actually makes a friendship better." — Bex vanKoot
"In order for a man to properly befriend a woman, he must possess the proper point of view. This can only be gained by a quest to the highest mountain in the Far Off Hinterlands, where one will gain the Flower of Insight. Upon returning, the man must seclude himself from society and nurture the flower to life using his blood mixed with water from the nearest river that has been blessed by a priest or priestess. When the flower has grown into its full bloom over the course of six weeks, the pollen can be placed on the tongue, and the man is permitted to leave seclusion and speak to the woman he would like to befriend without the haze of sex clouding his behaviors." — Seraphina Ferraro
Did Lamar Odom think he would ever see the inside of the Staples Center again?
Odom attended his first Los Angeles Lakers games since his overdose in Nevada last year, and fans and friends came out in droves to welcome the former player back courtside. Odom was a guest of Kobe Bryant, reports CBS Sports, who called it a miracle that Odom lived to see the game at all.
"In Vegas, he was [on death's doorstep]. To see him walking around now, like nothing happened, it's really a miracle. It's beyond good to see him," said Bryant.
With friends in such high places, is it only a matter of time before we see Odom suiting up in Lakers gold? After his time spend in a coma last year, there's no word on whether he is up to the physical demands of playing pro ball, or if he even wants to return to the pressures of the NBA.
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With seven seasons as a Laker under his belt, it's a fair bet that we'll be seeing more of him courtside this season.
Do you think Odom is gearing up to get back into the game, or is he just being a good fan? Let us know in the comments.
I met 67-year-old Khristie Leigh Kennison when I was staying at a rural bed and breakfast in the country with my boyfriend. She was also staying there and we got to talking. Khristie then began to speak about being transgender. The next weekend we returned and I asked her if she would be interested in being interviewed for International Transgender Day of Visibility (March 31). She was delighted at the opportunity to finally be able to share her unique and courageous journey as a male-to-female transgender person.
When did you first realise you were transgender?
To me, life is a fancy dress party from start to finish. I was cross-dressing from about 5 years old, and then at high school I was probably very underdeveloped from a male point of view, though my father pushed me into being a rugby player and doing the “boy things."
I suppose more when I was in my mid to late 20s, where there was this unbelievable compulsion to cross-dress, and it wasn’t out of a sexual-gratification type of feeling. It was just that I felt natural — I just felt more myself.
I’ve always felt I was both [male and female], though [now] I prefer the term two-spirit person to describe who I am.
Image: Miya Yamanouchi/SheKnows
When did you make the decision to come out?
I really didn’t come out... until I was 63, when I approached my GP doctor, who was a very soft, sensitive person I felt comfortable talking to about this. And it was interesting, ’cause he was saying, “But you’re 63, the same age as me, are you sure you wanna do this?” and I said, “Yeah, but I can’t keep on living that way. I can’t, I’ve gotta be me.”
So I asked my doctor, could he prescribe some estrogen for me? We started on just 1mg a day, and we did blood work all the way through. The name Khristie came to me 20-odd years ago. It just had the right song — the music of it, the play of the vowels of the word.
[Coming out] was something that I’d laboured with for a long time, especially with having had two unplanned children and given that I am only attracted to — and always have been only attracted to — females. I’ve never been attracted to a male. But the difficulty was with my children. I didn’t want to upset anybody, which is similar to what Caitlyn Jenner said in her interview in America… I waited till they were 36 and 32. My daughter accepts me, and my son doesn’t… but that’ll come around, time’ll be the healer there.
Yes, I would’ve loved to have come out earlier, but another part of me says no because I would’ve maybe never had those two beautiful children and may have not even had the relationships I had with those beautiful women as well. I would’ve maybe not have been accepted by them.
What sort of discrimination have you encountered as a result of coming out as transgender?
A lot of us have been bashed, and a lot of us cop to verbal harassment and discrimination as well, and that hurts just as much as the physical. It’s just such a foreign thing to the majority of men in our society that you’d want to cut off the phallic symbol of life, because that’s their definition of masculinity. It’s the penile expression of life, so to speak, and they can’t even come to grips as to how anybody would want to take that and invert it.
Back when I was a teenager, I was a real pretty, pretty boy. I was too pretty a boy, and I ended up with a dislocated jaw, expressed two fractures… And then some of them would have a realization: “Oh, mate, I shouldn’t have done that,” and I’ve gone, “Well, hey, don’t do it to anyone else again, please.”
Although I get on well with most women and all my best friends have been women, I’ve experienced physical violence mainly from women, where they’ve said, “No, you don’t belong in this box.” Many women feel threatened by transgender women… if we can overcome that, that’d be a big one.
What advice would you give to other trans women or transgender people in general?
A lot of transgender people believe they have to look exactly like a woman, and it’s not about that (and that’s also the beauty aspect of society now as well)… and a lot of transgender people I have met are of the belief that if you can’t pull it off, then, well, you just should forget about it — and that’s not what it’s about.
We should be accepted whether we still look a bit male-like or somewhere in between or maybe even more beautiful.
A lot of transgender people want to rush the whole process. For M-to-F trans people, it’s like, “I gotta go out and get a boob job, ’cause that’s what’s possible. I want to have a vagina as quick as possible,” you know? But no, no, no, no — it's not like that. Just take it step by step. I’m still pre-op. I’m in no rush. The only thing is, all the clinics in Bangkok say — well, here’s a bit of a pun for you — that their “cutoff date” [for the actual gender reassignment surgery] is 65, and I’m close to 67 now… but I don’t feel it.
If you look at the statistics on the Net, there are an incredible amount of people in postoperative regret — especially the younger ones, who have gone the whole path of sexual reassignment surgery.
A lot of transgender people think they have to go and validate their whole being a transgender person by having a relationship with a heterosexual male. No, it doesn’t have to be that way. And all the statistics out there say your partner may be another transgender person or they might be a cisgender female... But have an open book, don’t have a closed mind about it.
I’ve seen the same with F-to-M transgender people as well. Somewhere you’ve just gotta find the right person… don’t have any expectations that you have to go and do that to feel acceptance.
How can transphobia be eliminated?
I think it’s an education thing... There needs to be a more visible presence of transgender people in the media. Additionally, all health-care professionals need to be more aware and educated about how to work with us.
I suppose people like myself, who are older and can understand it and have been through years and years of this, can help the younger generation with the acceptance and validation and affirmation of who they really are and how to be proud of who they are and to help [them] realize [they're] not some sort of genetic, or whatever, "freak" or someone that’s just too different. You have to have this acceptance for yourself before you’ll get it from other people, and together, somewhere, we’ve all gotta come back together again.
I’ve always said I wish I could win Powerball or Lotto so I could set up a transgender centre out this way in western Sydney — somewhere out west here. There needs to be a safe place, a refuge for trans people of all ages... a place where parents who suspect their children are showing signs of being transgender can go to feel comfortable to get support and information in a totally nonjudgmental environment. It’d be a place where health practitioners... treat us with respect and not as someone who’s some sort of sexual freak. It’s about everybody feeling comfortable the whole way through.
What message do you have to people out there in the community who are transphobic?
If I got to sit next to someone who was transphobic, I’d treat them as equal, try to have empathy and understanding and compassion for them as an equal soul.
We all have a right to be here and to be treated equally in society. I accept you as being who you say you are, just accept me as being who I am... and I’m not that much different at all. I understand why and where you’re coming from, but I’d just like you to hear my story.
I love the flavors of Middle East: fresh parsley, lemon and garlic. One of my goals when I'm cooking is to keep the essence and flavor of a recipe while increasing nutrition and decreasing calories. This goal helps me maintain healthy weight, meet my daily nutrient needs and still eat with joy and pleasure.
Here is my take on the classic dish tabbouleh. My recipe skyrockets nutrition levels while preserving the essence of the traditional taste. Folate, magnesium, potassium, vitamin C, vitamin A, iron, calcium and omega-3s are just a few of the nourishing vitamins and minerals this recipe offers.
My way decreases the calories by almost a third, taking it from close to 300 per serving to just over 100. Be sure to measure the olive oil — it's one ingredient that could amp up the calories if you don't measure.
Low-carb tabbouleh salad
Serving size: 1 cup
Serves: 16
Ingredients:
1 cup cooked ancient grains (farro, spelt or kamut)
2 medium lemons, seeded and juiced (about 1/2 cup)
1/4 cup sweet onion, diced
1 head cauliflower, pulsed in a food processor until very small
1 crown broccoli, pulsed in food processor until very small
Toss all ingredients together, salt to taste. For best flavor, allow to sit overnight and come to room temperature. Once you have salad prepared, add grilled or roasted chicken, seared tofu, garbanzo beans, avocado, seafood salad or any addition that sounds tasty to you.
Always have fun and get creative with your food, as using a variety of colors, textures and flavors will enhance the eating experience and ensure good nutrition. Happy eating!
There's no doubt that Snow and David love their children, but they continue to repeat the bad habit of leaving their kids. Of course, it's out of love and channeling their inner heroes to always do the right thing. However, it definitely happens way too often — and probably more than they like.
First, to save Emma from Regina's Dark Curse, they sent her away through the wardrobe and separated themselves from their firstborn. They definitely paid the ultimate price for that, but it all worked out in the end.
Snow, David and Emma have never been closer. However, can the same be said for Neal, the Charmings' son? Now that they are off on a crusade in the Underworld, what's to become of their second born?
While chatting with TV Line, Josh Dallas (who plays David) said that it just might come back to haunt them. He admitted, "Yeah, it’s not the best parenting choice. It’s not a great thing that they left him behind, and they’re feeling that." Dallas also added that not only are they "being pulled in many, many directions," but their decision to leave Neal behind "might bite them in the ass."
Is this some type of foreshadowing? Or is Dallas just speculating? Now that they are kind of trapped in the Underworld and still figuring out a way to defeat Hades, things certainly aren't looking up for any of them. You know what that means? There's always a chance that Snow and David will be separated from Neal forever. I highly doubt that will happen, but it's a possibility, especially if one or both of them can't escape the fiery realm.
OUAT co-creator Adam Horowitz also dished to TVLine about their situation and said, "There certainly are consequences to that sort of headstrong jump into the Underworld, where they left a child behind. There are some really emotional things they’re going to have to deal with because of that."
They are putting themselves in a tough position, because not only are they trying to be there for Emma and help her save Hook, but they are also doing the one thing they never wanted to do ever again — separate themselves from their child. "They don’t want to make a mistake like they did the first time with Emma," Dallas told TVLine.
Well, here's hoping Snow and Charming get out of the Underworld safely so they can return to Neal. Until then, answer me this: Who the heck is taking care of Neal?
Gwen Stefani is doing her best to keep tight-lipped about her burgeoning romance with fellow The Voice star Blake Shelton, but that's just because she's going to let her music do all the talking.
"I feel like I’m in an amazing songwriting place; instead of being closed off, I’m thinking about positivity and how I can do something creative," Stefani said. "I’m just doing what I want to do. It’s so incredible to be in that zone. I’m always looking for the next song, and now I don’t have to be insecure or write about heartache."
"You have to understand where I came from. My parents fell in love in high school, and I grew up in a very conservative home — family was sacred," she explained. "When I met Tony [Kanal, bassist for No Doubt and Stefani’s first boyfriend], I was only 17, and I instantly was obsessed. It was the only relationship I had really ever had. And when we broke up, I met Gavin. I was so naive; I never even lived with a guy."
Regardless of whether Stefani and Shelton last two more weeks or 20 more years, we're excited to hear how their relationship influences Stefani's next solo project.
What do you think? Are Shelton and Stefani destined to be together forever, or is this a rebound relationship?
A Florida court dropped the mic on skim milk today after it ruled against Ocheesee Creamery in a court case dating back to 2012. The dairy took issue with Florida's labeling laws, which state that the translucent, vaguely milk-flavored water otherwise knows as skim milk must clearly have an "imitation milk product" label on it unless vitamins are added back in after the skimming process.
The dairy argued that consumers understand that skim milk is just milk with the milk fat skimmed off, so they should be able to skip the unappetizing disclaimer, to which the court basically said, "Exactly." They clarified that because consumers don't understand that skim milk isn't even milk — a designation reserved for milk that has the vitamins found in milk fat. They assume they're getting a milk product when they are in fact getting a glass full of lies.
This is bad news for skim milk lovers, of course, which is OK, because no one really loves skim milk. Skim milk is a burden, and mostly you drink it only because you want to do stuff like make smoothies with dairy or drink six lattes a day without consuming inordinate amounts of fat, which makes those things OK, right?
Turns out if you cut full-fat milk to slim down or because everyone knows that skim is better for you than whole milk is, you've been gagging down the stuff needlessly for ages.
As nutritionists begin to rethink fatty foods and sort fats into "good" and "bad," it would appear that the evidence is mounting in fat's favor. That doesn't hold true just for a meal of salmon and avocado. Some of this evidence supports whole milk as a healthier choice too.
In fact, a study in 2013 compared full-fat and no-fat milk drinkers and found that not only did literally none of the research suggest low-fat dairy is better, but high-fat dairy is less likely to contribute to obesity than low-fat dairy is. We'll give you a moment to curse your middle school health teacher, who is probably the reason you subjected yourself to way too many years of barely palatable moo juice.
Count it among the number of things that are good for you one day and bad for you the next, but this new research appears to be sticking this time around. The idea is that a calorie isn't universal and that calories devoid of nutrients (like what you'd find in imitation milk product) are no better — and in fact could be worse dietary-wise — than those that have nutrients (what you'd find in whole milk).
If this is shattering your worldview, you're not alone. Personally, if I could afford it, I would hire not a housekeeper or chef, but a full-time barista who would live in my kitchen and make me lattes until my heart finally collapsed. To combat my crazy, dairy-heavy habit, I've been buying gallons of skim for years, and I'm not sure my family has ever even tasted another kind of milk. The real kind.
So much time wasted. So many lattes that might have been creamier. So much lost.
Because at the end of the day, I always knew. I knew this was not milk, but garbage milk, and yet down it went, a vehicle for what I really wanted: double-strength shots of espresso. I drank it, and I bought it, but deep down this was me:
That event your teen has been dreaming of all year long is a night most parents don’t even want to think about. When you factor in all the bells and whistles that go into a memorable prom night, you just know you’re going to be looking at a hefty bill a few months later.
Not to play the Scrooge card on this one, but it’s really hard to get in the prom spirit with your teen when you know that every event add-on and extracurricular activity is going to cost you. Lest you think we’re exaggerating or have fallen too far on the penny-pinching side of the fence, we’re happy to break it down for you.
In the past decade alone, not long after the parents of this generation graduated high school, prom costs have moved from affordable to exorbitant. A prom in the ‘80s or ‘90s might have meant a corsage, a new dress and a sweet borrowed ride, if you were lucky. Today’s proms have become much more involved than a one-night-only affair (promposals, anyone?) with a heftier price tag to match. The annual Visa high school prom cost survey estimated that a promposal alone could run $324, with $919 spent on the average teenage prom-goer. This total is down 6 percent from the previous year, but still.
There’s got to be a way for teens to attend prom without blowing a grand.
Fortunately, there is. We’ve rounded up the prom industry experts, along with a few parents who are sick of these sky-high prom expenses, to put you on the right track:
1. The dress
There are several special organizations that have been created to support students who may not be able to afford to attend or even dress for prom, and Becca’s Closet is one of them. Through local chapters of Becca’s Closet, girls in financial need can get dresses, shoes and prom accessories for free.
For teens who are simply looking to cut costs (since some prom dresses can cost as much as a wedding gown), checking out a dress rental or exchange site can help to minimize expenses.
2. The flowers
Considering that a boutonniere or corsage could run you anywhere from $10-$25 each, this is the perfect time to teach your teen how to comparison shop. Trae Bodge, TV's "smart shopping expert" and mother of a tween, recommends calling around (or enlisting your teen to call) local florists to find the best prom flower deals. “A good thing to remember with corsages is that wrist corsages tend to be more expensive than pin-ons because they are more complex,” says Bodge.
The best way to save money on the pre-prom beauty prep is by checking out the alternatives. “If you have a cosmetology school nearby (like Paul Mitchell), you can have your hair and makeup done by a student for a fraction of the price. Seniors have a lot of experience and can be very easy to work with,” says Kim Collins, style expert and SVP at PromGirl.com. Collins also recommends watching how-to YouTube videos for hair, makeup and nail inspiration — as long as your teen practices the look with a friend or family member a few times before the big day.
As for that sun-kissed glow that has now become illegal with the nationwide teen tan ban, Collins advises teens “use self-tanner at home and pass on expensive (and dangerous) tanning. Not only will your pockets thank you, so will your skin. Again, be sure to do a test run well before prom and make sure you find a tanner you love.
4. The tux
There’s a fork in the road when it comes to teen boy prom attire. Does your son want to go black tie or casual? If it’s a black-tie prom, then you will probably need to rent a tux for one night only, since it is unlikely to be used again. Comparison shopping and keeping a lookout for coupons at local tux rental shops is your best bet, says Bodge. If his prom style is more casual, purchasing a new and stylish suit may be a better choice since it can be worn on more than one occasion. Bodge recommends checking budget-friendly and teen-friendly stores like Macy’s or Forever 21 first.
To put on the finishing touches, this is one time when it can literally pay to be thrifty. Start by checking out local garage sales and estate sales for unique and vintage finds, including costume jewelry. And if you don’t want to leave the house — and commit hours to hunting through the bargain bins — you can easily find what you’re looking for online. Search for trash-to-treasure trinkets and one-of-a-kind accessories on resale sites like Craigslist, Etsy and VarageSale. There are also plenty of easy tutorials for adorable DIY jewelry that your teen can wear again and again, like this upcycled (and expensive-looking) color block bracelet.
6. The transportation
Fresh and flashy prom transport may be one cost you can’t skimp on — since most teens won’t agree to pull up to prom in a minivan. But, but, there is a way to get around the steep prom limo price. “Instead of paying for a limo for several hours, take an Uber,” says Collins. “Limos often have at least a two- to four-hour minimum, which seems like a waste since you only need a car for the short trip to the event.” Even better, PromGirl has its own special Uber code that can score you a free trip when used on a 2016 prom night: For new users, code PROMGIRL2016 is valid for a free Uber trip (up to $20, first-time users only). For existing users, code PROMGIRLPOOL is valid for a free UberPOOL trip (up to $20, first-time POOL users only).
7. The pictures
We’re living in an Instagrammed world, so you’d think taking prom pics would be a snap. (See what we did there?) Unfortunately, this is where most parents run into problems. As much time as they spend on Instagram and Snapchat, your teen may still want hard copy photos that they can frame and preserve for years to come. “These days, you can take beautiful photos on your cell phone, so there’s really no need to invest in the pricey photo package at the school or local photo studio,” says Bodge. “Volunteer your photographic skills or call in a favor with a friend or family member who takes pretty pictures. Then, visit a drugstore like CVS or Walgreens to create any number of fabulous photo keepsakes, like photo albums, canvases, mugs, posters — just about anything!”
Leave it to the precocious, ever-intelligent Girl Meets World star Rowan Blanchard to take a devastatingly scary and humiliating moment and turn it into an important life lesson.
"I remember I was at a movie with my friend, and we were both in skirts... we were waiting outside the movies for my dad to pick us up, and this grown man came over and was like, 'You guys need a ride anywhere?'" Blanchard described. "I was 12 years old and my friend was 15. And I just remember sitting there feeling my heart sink into my stomach. It was such a surreal moment. Because I always see that happening in front of me; I always see girls getting catcalled. But up until that point, I hadn't experienced it. And it was like I was out-of-body for a second. I had seen that in movies, on TV, on the news. But when it happens to you, it's like, 'Oh, crap, this is real; people look at me this way. And people look at other girls this way.'"
Rowan Blanchard instagram 1
Rowan Blanchard instagram 1
Blanchard admits that she felt some self-loathing at first, and even blamed herself for the inappropriate actions of the much older man because she felt she was asking for it by wearing a skirt.
"You can't escape it," Blanchard said of the pervasive sexism that she sees existing in our world. "There's really nothing you can do except endure it and try and speak out about it. So that's what I tried to do. Because it started consuming me... And it just started overwhelming me."
But eventually, Blanchard worked out her feelings about the event and how it opened her eyes to the world — and used it as motivation to help bring her message to others.
"I started putting things on Twitter, Tumblr and Instagram, because I realize that I have a following, and most of the people who watch our show, I would say, are girls," she continued. "And I didn't want them ever going through that. I just started doing it because I couldn't bear it anymore."
Everyone has an opinion on breastfeeding. Throw the words "extended" and "tandem" into the mix, and the discussion can get pretty heated. But really, the only thing anyone needs to do is look at these amazing photographs of a Texas mom feeding her two daughters. All you see is beauty.
Chelsea Craig is a proud tandem-feeding mother of Addilynn, who is almost 4, and 16-month-old Emilynn — although that wasn’t something she specifically set out to become.
"I realised early on in motherhood that my relationship with breastfeeding could not be planned," she told <em>Kidspot</em>. "Instead, I allowed it to become a journey. Some days that journey is hard and I want to quit, but others that journey is beautiful. Breastfeeding allows me a time to be present with my girls where nothing else matters."
When Craig commissioned photographer Mae Burke to shoot herself and her girls, her only request was that the images captured them "living life."
So when the girls became hungry, it was only natural for Craig to feed them, and Burke simply carried on snapping.
"[Craig] approached me for a typical session in which I capture candid interactions between her and her children," Burke told SheKnows. "I am aware before the session of whether or not my client would like breastfeeding images, should their child want/need to nurse during our time together, and just like all of the other intimate moments I am photographing, I simply continue shooting."
As a renowned breastfeeding photographer, it wasn't the first time Burke had captured tandem nursing moments, and she shared what she has learned from the experience.
"The connection that comes with breastfeeding one child is different than capturing a mother bottle feeding one child. Not better, or deeper, but different. The connection that comes with breastfeeding two children at once is different than nursing one alone. Not better, or deeper, but different," she said.
Burke, a mom of three herself, has nothing but praise for the breastfeeding moms who go in front of the camera. "Women in general have to give up a certain amount of vulnerability to get in front of the camera," she said. "Mothers, who may be feeling out of sorts in their new body, have an extra layer of vulnerability. A breastfeeding mother has another layer of vulnerability to break through due to social attitudes, and a tandem nursing mother has yet another layer of vulnerability to be exposed as what she is doing is normally met with unkind words and discouragement."
This is exactly what makes her so protective of her client: "If she chooses to have her images shared online, I get anxiety about all of the negativity that will be sent her way. They have welcomed me into a very sensitive and vulnerable place, and I don't want that trust to have been misplaced."
This particular extended tandem nursing mom is used to a wide range of reactions from people, and she simply wants it to be understood that her way of nursing is perfectly normal for her and her daughters.
"This is how my girls feel nurtured and connected," said Craig. "I don’t nurse to prove a point, and I don’t nurse to declare my superiority. I nurse for my girls.”
"I have found that once people see us nursing, their understanding shifts. It is as if the picture in their mind was so foreign they couldn’t understand it," she added. "Seeing it, especially in beautiful pictures, allows them to see past their assumptions and into reality. And this is our reality. It is not for everyone, but it works for us."
Asian dishes are in most of our quick-dinner-option rotations, but we usually order them takeout. After all, it's cheap, faster and more convenient. Wouldn't it be great to have your own arsenal of quick Asian recipes that you could easily cook yourself? To start off, here is a 30-minute recipe that is very easy to follow, using fresh ingredients with good nutritional value.
Since Asian dishes are almost always accompanied by rice or noodles, it's no surprise that this dish pairs perfectly with steamed white rice. Prepare it ahead of time or while cooking this stir-fry.
Image: Rowena Dumlao-Giardina/SheKnows
Stir-fried shrimp and asparagus in oyster sauce recipe
1-1/2 pounds asparagus, hard ends discarded, sliced to about 1/2-inch pieces
1 garlic clove, minced
2 pounds shrimp, shelled and deveined (leave about 4 intact for garnish)
3 tablespoons soy sauce
2 tablespoons lemon
1 tablespoon oyster sauce
Pepper, to taste
Fresh parsley, coarsely chopped, for garnish (optional)
4 cups steamed white rice, for serving (optional)
Directions:
In a small bowl, mix the cornstarch with the 2 tablespoons of water until the mixture becomes a paste.
In a medium-large saucepan with olive oil over medium heat, sauté the asparagus, tossing for about 5 minutes, and then add the garlic. Toss for another minute or until the garlic turns fragrant.
Add the shrimp, and cook for about 3 minutes or until they are almost cooked through.
Pour in the soy sauce, water, lemon and oyster sauce, and let boil while mixing with the asparagus and shrimp.
When the sauce is reduced by half, season with pepper, and then add the cornstarch mixture. Mix until the sauce thickens.
There was so much more going on with Neal Gottlieb's medical evacuation from Survivor that we didn't see on TV. During our one-on-one interview with Neal, he explained why the doctor didn't discuss giving him antibiotics, revealed what medical treatments he received and told a funny story about the mistake Jeff Probst made shortly after he was pulled from the competition. Plus, he answered the question everybody has been clamoring to know. Why didn't he give his ally, Aubry, the hidden Immunity Idol instead of taking it home? His answers might surprise you.
SheKnows: When you saw that boat approaching the beach and Jeff Probst got off, did you know your time was up?
Neil Gottlieb: Oh yeah. I knew that the executioner was there for me. There was no doubt. Earlier in the day, before going to the Immunity challenge, I packed up all my stuff. I thought I was getting pulled from the challenge. I was surprised that I got to go back to camp that day. I thought maybe they weren't viewing it as seriously as I felt like they were. But then, it was clear that boat was for me. I wanted to go run and hide in the woods to make them drag me out of there. I figured that might not be the best way to get my second chance.
Image: CBS
SK: What made you think they were going to pull you from the game? Was there more we didn't see?
NG: The infection was deep. It was wide. It was disgusting. Being a fan of the show, I've seen Jonathan Penner go out with a knee infection. We saw James the giant gravedigger go out with an infection. They take those seriously. It's one thing to have a big abscess on your back that's not going anywhere. That will take a long time before it kills you. Knees, joints are different. They made it clear it was of utmost concern.
NG: That's the weird thing. It came from within. On day 15 after the challenge, I suddenly, out of the blue, got what felt like a pimple on my knee. It was a little deeper. It just came from within. It really hurt then, so I requested the doctor come out. He lanced it and nothing really came out, but it just kept on growing. It was big. It was a big, friggin' hole in my knee.
Image: CBS
SK: When Probst came to your beach, had somebody requested medical attention at that moment, or was it truly an unexpected house call?
NG: It was an unexpected, unpleasant surprise. I had some inkling they might come, because usually after challenges you get medical attention if you want. What they didn't show was the doctor had squeezed the one on my back with both hands. It was one of the worst experiences of my life. Imagine a grown man squeezing your back, basically tearing the flesh. Blood and pus squirted out and it looked like a Civil War battlefield. It was absolutely disgusting. It was absolutely horrible. At the challenge, when Jeff was asking me about Mount St. Neal, he also had me pull up my shirt to show him the wound on my back. I had to take the bandage off for that. I figured, "Oh, I will get medical attention after this." They were like, "We can't do that right now. We'll take care of it later." I didn't really think about it again until the boat showed up.
Image: CBS
SK: So you're on the boat and out of the game. What happened next? What kind of medical treatment did you receive?
NG: The funny thing about what happened next is we started going out when Matt, the producer, turns to Jeff and says, "You didn't tell them there's no Tribal, did you?" Jeff said, "Oh, shit," and jumped back in the water and had to go back. That scene was actually spliced together from two different moments. Then they brought me around the corner to a bigger boat to the mainland. From there it was about a four-hour drive to the hospital. I found myself, around midnight, laying there looking at the ceiling in a Cambodian hospital as a man digs into my knee and scrapes out all the dead, infected flesh. But it was fine. They had me on IVs on and off for two days. On the third day, they brought me to a nice hotel. That next morning I ran four miles on a treadmill. The morning after that I ran five miles on the treadmill. I was fine. I wasn't in pain. I wasn't immobilized. I was fine. I was ready to win that thing.
Image: CBS
SK: What made the difference between your injury and the one we saw with Aubry? The doctor opted to give her antibiotics for her infection, so why wasn't that an option for you?
NG: They actually did have me on antibiotics. I can't remember if it was day 15 or day 16, but they clearly didn't do the job. Aubry's infection was just in the middle of her leg. It wasn't by a joint. Same thing with the one on my back. It was big, disgusting and had dead, black flesh, but they weren't going to pull me for that one. It was the fact that it was so deep and right by the knee joint that they were concerned.
Image: CBS
SK: A lot of viewers reacted to how nasty it was to watch the close-up shots of your injuries. What was it like for you to see it on TV?
NG: It was fun. I lived through it. It was pretty gross, but I don't really get grossed out by things. I appreciate that it was disgusting, but it doesn't stir any gut-wrenching feelings for me or anything like that. It was actually kind of cool. Somebody took a photo of my back right before it got cleaned out. I had only gotten one quick view of that picture about a year ago, so it was kind of neat to see that as disgusting as it was.
SK: Now we need to get to the question I'm sure you've been asked about a billion times already.
NG: Let me guess! The Idol!
SK: How did you know that was coming?
NG: [Laughs.]
SK: What happened there? Why didn't you give it to Aubry? Did you forget about giving away in the moment of being removed from the competition, or was it because you wanted to have a souvenir?
NG: No, I didn't forget. I ultimately decided to have a family heirloom. I was thoroughly convinced that I was going home. Aubry and I had our romantic sunset talk on the beach about Idols and our future together. At one point in that conversation she said something about being willing to slit my throat. Knowing there was a good chance I was getting pulled the next day, it just wasn't what I wanted to hear. That put me off a little bit. By day 19, it was pretty clear that Aubry was the one who was going home. So my death gave her life. I kind of felt like I didn't owe her anything. Now it seems so silly, but at the time it was the one physical thing of this game, this experience that I love so much, that I could hold on to. I could clench on to this one little piece of this dream that was otherwise being stripped right away from me. So, that's what I decided. But what you didn't see is that I didn't not give her the Idol as far as other people saw. I gave her my sports coat on the way out, and I reached into my pocket and grabbed something that I put into that pocket. There might have been the threat of an Idol that I gave her, but sometimes the threat of something can be worse than the thing itself. I didn't necessarily completely screw her. Or maybe I did. Maybe I put a target on her back with nothing to back it up with.
NG: I had stuff to make fake Idols. There was stuff I cut off the sign as we were abandoning the old camp. The funny thing about my bulge being discussed on national television, is that the Idol was never in that pocket for a second throughout the entire game. That bulge was some cloth and shells. It wasn't an Idol, and it was never an Idol.
Image: CBS
SK: With the anticipation that you were going to be pulled from the game, had you told Aubry prior to leaving that you would give her the Idol, or was she truly surprised you left the game with it in your possession?
NG: It's funny. We never actually said anything as far as I remember. I just asked her if she wanted stuff to make an Idol with and I gave her my coat. I don't think we ever said anything about it. I'm sure she was like, "What the f*** just happened? That son of a bitch left the game and didn't give it to me? What the hell is wrong with him?"
Image: CBS
SK: If you could do it over again, would you make the same decision to take the Idol home with you instead of giving it to Aubry?
NG: I regretted it as soon as the boat started pulling away. It was like, "What did I just do? Why didn't I give her this stinking thing?"
SK: Where is that Idol sitting at this very moment?
NG: I just picked it up from my desk and put it in my hand. I brought it into work today so my employees could see it. It's been stashed away on my boat for the last year. It's nice for it to see the light of day. Finally.
Image: CBS
SK: Had you not been medically removed from the game and Tribal Council would have taken place, who was going to get voted off?
NG: I think there was a very good chance that Aubry would've gone home that night.
SK: Would you have played your Idol?
NG: I don't know. When you do the math and look at the numbers, it seemed unlikely they were going to split the votes four and three knowing we have four votes. It's pretty unlikely they're going to put the vote on me because they feared I had an Idol. They were probably going to put the vote on Aubry. I probably would've held on to it. I wasn't playing to finish in the top 10. I was playing to win.
Image: CBS
SK: Earlier you said you and Aubry had a romantic chat on the beach. Is there a romance between the two of you?
NG: No. No. No. Aubry and I each have partners that we love dearly. We just had a very special relationship in the game. We had a lot of respect for each other. We had a lot of fun out there. She's an entirely capable person. She didn't know all that much necessarily about finding food out there, but she was such an eager learner. Debbie called me the truffle pig because I was so good at finding food. I probably got 75 percent of our food most days. She called Aubry the truffle piglet. They were game. They were willing to go out there and learn to find food themselves. I had an infection on my leg on the side they wanted me to keep dry earlier on, so Aubry and I would go climb on the rocks, I'd point things out and she'd dive in and go get it. She's great. We just had a really special friendship out there.
Image: CBS
SK: Being a fan, how did you get on the show?
NG: It's funny. When the show started, I was a cubicle dweller and I just wasn't thrilled with who I was. I went on this journey of going into the Peace Corps and starting a business, becoming confident and not getting bad haircuts. I kept on watching the show and one day I felt like, "I think I can get on this thing." Then, the craziest thing happened. I went out on an OKCupid date with somebody who used to work for the show; at the time she still did. We ended up becoming really good friends and she connected me with casting. That was my in as far as making sure they gave my video a good look. It took applying twice, but I got on. I had my dream come true. Then, I discovered the dream wasn't to get on Survivor. The dream was to win it. That's still the dream, and I believe I will make that happen someday.
Image: CBS
What do you think of Neal's comments in this interview? Do you think he was selfish for not giving his hidden Idol to Aubry? Did anything he said surprise you? Would you like to see Neal compete again in a future season? Join the conversation by leaving a comment now.
