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5 Golden rules for taking care of yourself

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The truth is that we usually have no one to blame for our stress but ourselves. We're in charge of our lives, our workload, our energy and our day. We get to say "yes" and we get to say "no." We have financial choices, social choices and choices on how we choose to spend our time.

How you feel at the end of your day? Do you feel excited, satisfied and energized? Great! Do you feel exhausted, frazzled and overwhelmed? Time to fix it by taking responsibility for your own well-being!

The 5 golden rules for taking care of yourself:

1. Stop the blame game!

If you find yourself tired and overwhelmed, resist the temptation to blame others. It's a habit that has little value. Blaming others gives away your power. Take back your power, and realize that the buck stops with you. You are responsible for ensuring that you feel good.

2. Be unapologetic

Right next to blame sits its ugly cousin, guilt. Guilt points its bony finger at you when you try to do something good for yourself, rather than wearing yourself out as you've been conditioned to. Guilt will keep pushing you beyond the boundaries of what's good for you.

Guilt is all about self-worth. Why would you feel guilty about taking care of yourself? If your best friend came to you complaining that she felt overworked and exhausted, you'd tell her to take some time out and set some boundaries. You might suggest she tell her kids that she isn't actually running a taxi and maid service, and explain to her neighbor that she no longer wants to spend the best part of her Sunday gossiping.

You are important, so treat yourself like a good friend.

3. Plan ahead

Building a habit is the key. In order to do that, you'll need to practice some self-discipline. It's not good enough to just check into a day spa once, feel better immediately afterward — and then jump back onto the crazy merry-go-round of life.

Decide on a regular time and activity and stick to it. If you have nothing planned, leave the house anyway. Sit with a coffee and watch the world go by, or take yourself out on a walk. This needs to be a non-negotiable appointment with yourself.

4. Get organized

Most people don't work nearly as many hours as they think they do. They're simply overwhelmed —their world is spinning out of control. It's largely all in their heads. No, I'm not implying they're making it up. I'm saying that mental stress makes things feel bigger than they are.

If you can get more effective in your day and more organized in your life, the mental noise will quieten down, and you will become even more effective and organized. The key to being more effective is to have a good idea of your core values and priorities. This makes it easier to make good choices for self-care.

5. Practice saying "no"

Saying "no" is one of the best skills you'll ever learn. It is the favorite word of those who excel at self-care, so practice it! Set yourself a goal to develop this important skill.

Why not make it a game? Say "no" to the next question asked of you, or to everything for an entire day. You can always go back and say you changed your mind later.

Practice saying "no" and doing it gently and tactfully. Some people have developed this art to the point where you feel like they're doing you a favor when they turn you down. That's how good YOU want to get!

These five golden rules for taking care of yourself hold the power to transform you. Practice them daily — and be kind to yourself.


4 back-to-school lunch winners, as picked by a nutritionist

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I don't even have a child in the house, but each fall, I make it a mission to pick up some new swag for myself in the spirit of the new school year (and to console myself over summer's end). This year, I had quite a haul of treats for packed lunches, after-school snacks and the little extras we don't necessarily need, but put a smile on kids' (or our own) faces.

Pure Organic Bar

Cue heaven music sung by angels: I have finally found it! A snack bar with an ingredient list I can not only pronounce, but would fit into a single tweet. This bar has everything we nutritionists look for in a quality snack, minus the funky aftertaste most protein bars have (thanks to cheap, processed soy). At 180 calories, this an all-natural and clean bar that would make the perfect pick-me-up before soccer or football practice.

Trader Joe's Peanut Butter and Jelly Nonfat Greek Yogurt

What says "back to school" like a good, old-fashioned PB&J? Ditch the processed white sandwich bread for this ultra-convenient makeover starring Greek yogurt . This stuff is so delicious — I don't know how they did it with so little sugar, but I'm glad they did!

Collapsable Double Compartment Lunch Box Food Container

I love Eco Vessel's leakproof, collapsible and BPA-free lunch box. And for those you who are stumped by what to do about your own lunch, I have a brilliant solution that will cost you $0 and require minimal prep work: Pack your leftover dinner. Seriously! And this lunch box can take your food straight from fridge or freezer to microwave. Fully stocked on Tupperware you say? Does your collection come with a detachable spork? Didn't think so.

Rubber Barber Eraser Set

I am such a sucker for quirky school/office supplies. These erasers sure beat the classic pink nubs on the old number 2's, and they're a cute non-food treat to tuck into your kid's lunch box or backpack.

2015 MTV VMAs live winners list

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*Winners are bolded.

Video of the Year

  • Beyoncé — "7/11"
  • Ed Sheeran — "Thinking Out Loud"
  • Taylor Swift ft. Kendrick Lamar — "Bad Blood"
  • Mark Ronson ft. Bruno Mars — "Uptown Funk"
  • Kendrick Lamar — "Alright"
Ed Sheeran

Ed Sheeran

Best Male Video

  • Ed Sheeran — "Thinking Out Loud"
  • Mark Ronson ft. Bruno Mars — "Uptown Funk"
  • Kendrick Lamar — "Alright"
  • The Weeknd — "Earned It"
  • Nick Jonas — "Chains"

Best Female Video

  • Beyoncé — "7/11"
  • Taylor Swift — "Blank Space"
  • Nicki Minaj — "Anaconda"
  • Sia — "Elastic Heart"
  • Ellie Goulding — "Love Me Like You Do"

Best Hip Hop Video

  • Fetty Wap — "Trap Queen"
  • Nicki Minaj — "Anaconda"
  • Kendrick Lamar — "Alright"
  • Wiz Khalifa ft. Charlie Puth — "See You Again"
  • Big Sean ft. E-40 — "I Don't F*** With You"

Best Pop Video

  • Beyoncé — "7/11"
  • Ed Sheeran — "Thinking Out Loud"
  • Taylor Swift — "Blank Space"
  • Mark Ronson ft. Bruno Mars — "Uptown Funk"
  • Maroon 5 — "Sugar"

Best Rock Video

  • Hozier — "Take Me to Church"
  • Fall Out Boy — "Uma Thurman"
  • Florence + the Machine — "Ship to Wreck"
  • Walk the Moon — "Shut Up and Dance"
  • Arctic Monkeys — "Why'd You Only Call Me When You're High?"
Walk the Moon

Walk the Moon

Artist to Watch

  • Fetty Wap — "Trap Queen"
  • Vance Joy — "Riptide"
  • George Ezra — "Budapest"
  • James Bay — "Hold Back the River"
  • FKA Twigs — "Pendulum"

Best Collaboration

  • Taylor Swift ft. Kendrick Lamar — "Bad Blood"
  • Mark Ronson ft. Bruno Mars — "Uptown Funk"
  • Wiz Khalifa ft. Charlie Puth — "See You Again"
  • Ariana Grande & The Weeknd — "Love Me Harder"
  • Jessie J + Ariana Grande + Nicki Minaj — "Bang Bang"

Video with a Social Message

  • Jennifer Hudson — "I Still Love You"
  • Colbie Caillat — "Try"
  • Big Sean ft. Kanye West and John Legend — "One Man Can Change the World"
  • Rihanna — "American Oxygen"
  • Wale — "The White Shoes"

Best Art Direction

  • Taylor Swift ft. Kendrick Lamar — "Bad Blood" (Charles Infante)
  • Snoop Dogg — "So Many Pros" (François Rousselet, Jason Fijal)
  • Jack White — "Would You Fight for My Love" (Jack White, Jeff Peterson)
  • The Chemical Brothers — "Go" (Michel Gondry)
  • Skrillex & Diplo — "Where Are U Now" with Justin Bieber (Brewer)
Where Are U Now? Skrillex video

Where Are U Now? Skrillex video

Best Choreography

  • Beyoncé — "7/11" (Beyoncé, Chris Grant, Additional choreography: Gabriel Valenciano)
  • OK Go — "I Won't Let You Down" (OK Go, air:man and Mori Harano)
  • Chet Faker — "Gold" (Ryan Heffington)
  • Ed Sheeran — "Don't" (Nappy Tabs)
  • Flying Lotus ft. Kendrick Lamar — "Never Catch Me" (Keone and Mari Madrid)

Best Cinematography

  • Flying Lotus ft. Kendrick Lamar — "Never Catch Me" (Larkin Seiple)
  • Ed Sheeran — "Thinking Out Loud" (Daniel Pearl)
  • Taylor Swift ft. Kendrick Lamar — "Bad Blood" (Christopher Probst)
  • FKA Twigs — "Two Weeks" (Justin Brown)
  • Alt-J — "Left Hand Free" (Mike Simpson)

Best Direction

  • Taylor Swift ft. Kendrick Lamar — "Bad Blood" (Joseph Kahn)
  • Mark Ronson ft. Bruno Mars — "Uptown Funk" (Bruno Mars and Cameron Duddy)
  • Kendrick Lamar — "Alright" (Colin Tilley & The Little Homies)
  • Hozier — "Take Me to Church" (Brendan Canty and Conal Thomson of Feel Good Lost)
  • Childish Gambino — "Sober" (Hiro Murai)

Best Editing

  • Beyoncé — "7/11" (Beyoncé, Ed Burke, Jonathan Wing)
  • Ed Sheeran — "Don't" (Jacquelyn London)
  • Taylor Swift ft. Kendrick Lamar — "Bad Blood" (Chancler Haynes at Cosmo Street)
  • A$AP Rocky — "L$D" (Dexter Navy)
  • Skrillex & Diplo — "Where Are U Now" with Justin Bieber (Brewer)

Best Visual Effects

  • Taylor Swift ft. Kendrick Lamar — "Bad Blood" (Ingenuity Studios)
  • FKA Twigs — "Two Weeks" (Gloria FX, Tomash Kuzmytskyi, and Max Chyzhevskyy)
  • Childish Gambino — "Telegraph Ave." (Gloria FX)
  • Skrillex & Diplo "Where Are U Now" with Justin Bieber (Brewer, Gloria FX, and Max Chyzhevskyy)
  • Tyler, The Creator — "F****** Young/Death Camp" (Gloria FX)
VMA Spotify playlist

VMA Spotify playlist

10 Reasons your parents need a senior dog

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Now that your parents are empty nesters, they are likely feeling the absence of you kids no longer living there. More important, the identity they shared of two people raising smaller people is no more, so who are they now? According to the Mayo Clinic, it is very common for your parents to start to feel a bit out of sorts, even sad and lonely.

After all they have done for you, it's time to help them through this next chapter of their lives. If they're responsive to the idea, might I suggest getting them an older dog? Notice that I didn't say, "a dog," but "an older dog" — and there are many reasons for that.

1. Your parents are done with babies

The next baby your parents want to see is their grandchild, whom they can hand back to you and then go home and watch Stephen Colbert — so the last thing they'll want is a puppy. Puppies are just like babies in that they need constant care, constant feeding, constant cleaning up after and ridiculous amounts of training. Having a puppy is a lot of work. An older dog is likely already trained and well behaved. Older dogs eat on an easier schedule than puppies do, too.

2. Senior dogs are often from good homes

According to The Humane Society and many well-respected dog trainers, senior dogs often end up in shelters because people die unexpectedly and have not designated where their dog should go. Sweet older dogs find themselves in shelters through no fault of their own. They have not misbehaved, they don't chew furniture, nor have they been aggressive. They are simply good boys and girls who no longer have someone to love and care for them. Your loving parents could save their lives by giving them a happy home once again.

3. Like your parents, they are frequently overlooked

Breeders and shelters know that everybody wants puppies and sadly, it's the senior dogs who go unnoticed. This is a phenomenon in our youth-obsessed culture that pertains to people as well as dogs. This is why it's even more important for aging parents to support adopting aging dogs.

4. Older dogs settle in more quickly

Senior dogs are already used to being part of a pack. They know how to behave. They understand what will be expected of them, and they don't need to re-learn commands. They already know "sit," "come" and "no." The basic commands are old news for them — and despite being old dogs, they might even know a few tricks!

5. They prefer a couch to a dog park

Several professional breeders — who know their breeds very well — have told me that many breeds' true personalities do not emerge until the dog is six years old or older. I've even seen this in my own dog. As he's approaching middle age he is getting more mushy, more loving, and more like a couch potato who just wants to sit at my feet and just be. I will still throw a ball for him, but I've noticed his need to chase, chew and play is much less than it was just two years ago.

Older parents who don't have the kind of energy they had when they were younger would prefer a dog whose energy can match theirs.

6. There are no surprises

You'll often hear it said that an older dog is an open book. The dog who shows up the first day for duty is the guy who will always be there for them. Senior dogs aren't still growing and changing, which means you will be able to predict their behavior and their temperament much easier and right away. Living with a predictable dog is very important to aging parents — trust me.

7. The act of getting a senior dog raises your self-worth

There is no question that you become a hero the minute you decide to adopt a senior dog, and doing heroic things can raises your own self-esteem. Whether the dog is from a shelter or a breeder with a breed rescue, you are still saving that dog's life. Every time your parents look into those adorable eyes they will feel good about themselves for bringing this vulnerable creature into their home and creating a loving nurturing environment for him or her.

8. They need something to care for

After about a month of celebrating having the house all to themselves, many parents realize that having something to care for gives them purpose. The act of feeding and walking their senior dog will make them feel not only needed, but also useful.

And having a dog rely on you for its day-to-day care is not the same as raising a child who can talk back and stay out at a friend's house all night without telling you. Instead, that dog will shower them with unconditional love. As a matter of fact, sometimes I'm pretty sure my parents love their dog more than they ever loved me, for these very reasons.

9. The dog will appreciate them more than you ever did

Rescue dogs don't understand why one minute they were in a loving home — and suddenly, they're in a strange place. They just want to go back to being part of a family, part of a pack. Lots of anecdotal evidence suggests that dogs do know when they've been saved. That kind of gratitude will go a long way in helping your new senior dog bond with your parents quickly.

10. They're crazy cute!

This one needs no explanation. It's simply true!

I'm totally unfair about gift giving, and here's why that might be okay

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And I don't know that my unevenness has a specific algorithm, but it certainly is rooted in some sort of subconscious rubric that I haven't yet committed to a spreadsheet. I'm sure it's not unlike a Words With Friends scoring mechanism:

  • You called/texted me in the last month: 1 point
  • When you called/texted me, you didn't ask for anything: 2 points
  • You got good grades on your report card (C's are not good… let's just be clear): 5 points
  • You are gainfully employed (a lemonade stand or any legal hustle counts): 10 points
  • You are generally thought to be a kind and good person: 3 points
  • You are nice to my son even when he's driving me to drink (and I happen to be a non-drinker): 6 points
  • You babysit my children for free so I can sit in the car and take a nap: triple word score!

The problem with this algorithm is that this is the first time I've made it known and public. So when one sibling gets a $50 gift from me and another gets a $20 gift, they're surprised. And more often than not, angry.

In many ways, it's not unlike a will.

  • I decide during my lifetime who will get my money.
  • I neither communicate why or how I'm allocating my inheritance.
  • When I die, everyone sits in that cramped attorney's office waiting to hear what they will receive.
  • When the announcement is made, some people feel like they have hit the lotto, and others feel like they've been robbed by a modern-day stick-up gang: Tanya & the Takers. Except it's my money, so I didn't officially take it from them. I just never gave it to them.

So why do I feel guilty that I do more for some people than for others? Should I eliminate all emotion from the equation, publish my Words with Friends matrix above, and ensure that everyone is clear on my giving criterion? Will that approach eliminate the surprise and anger, or just create debate about the inherent unfairness of my criteria?

Everyone gives according to their own psychology — mothers with babies asking for money on the street get more from me than single people. Obviously, there are thousands of charities in the world because of the clear marketplace for different causes that appeal to different people with different emotional pulls and attachments.

So maybe the question should not be: How much did you give, and to whom, and in what measure (equal or unequal)? And instead, we should ask, "Did you give at all?" As long as the answer to that is "yes," the rest is up for you to decide.

Here's how to find out what your kids will learn in class this year

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First, remember each state has a department of education where you can usually find state learning standards by grade level. Find your state's department of education website, and once you're there, just use the map to go to your state to learn about your state's curriculum by grade level.

For example, my daughter attends school in South Carolina, and will be a rising seventh grader. On the South Carolina Department of Education page, I can see all kinds of resources — including state learning standards for all subject areas.

I click on my daughter's grade level for social studies, and see that this year she will be studying Contemporary Cultures: 1600 to the Present. In Virginia, students are studying U.S. history to 1865, while in Ohio, seventh graders study world history, beginning with ancient Greece and continuing through global exploration.

Each state also has a list of resources for parents that will be helpful for your child throughout the school year. Ohio has its resource page divided up by school levels: elementary, middle and high school.

You can also use Google as a tool to take a more direct route to find out what your child is learning in school this year. Just type "(My state's) learning standard for (your child's grade)" into the search box. For example, my search for “Georgia's learning standards for seventh grade” yielded results that told me seventh graders there study the social, geographic and economic histories of Asia and Africa.

If you're a homeschooler, this information can also help you prepare your own curriculum for your child, because you can align what you teach your child with what her peers are learning in public school.

Now that I know that my South Carolinian seventh grader is about to learn about modern world cultures from 1600 to the present in her social studies class, I'll look for books and websites with fun games for us to explore together.

Some excellent resources for educational games and activities:

Reactions to Miley Cyrus's nude pre-VMAs selfie are really surprising (PHOTO)

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On Sunday morning, Cyrus took to social media to air her grievances about having to be up at an ungodly hour to prepare to host the 2015 MTV Video Music Awards.

She captioned the snap, "When yiew da host so you gotta get to the vmas early AF!!!!!"

Miley Cyrus VMA Nude Selfie

Miley Cyrus VMA Nude Selfie

More: 8 Times Miley Cyrus proved she actually is a good role model

And while most fans would think nothing of this bare-all selfie — we are all basically immune to shocking behavior from the 22-year-old artist — people have been having reactions that surprise us more than the photo itself.

One commenter said, "Very sad Miley has potential but she has to go the thirst bucket route."

This is hardly new or different behavior for the "Wrecking Ball" singer, so I don't really she how she is acting "thirsty."

More: Miley Cyrus throws shade at Nicki Minaj right before the VMAs

Many commenters posted about how ashamed her father must feel or how she is letting her family down. One said, "If I were her Dad, I’d be ashamed to mentioned her appearance tonight.. The music world has change from talent to exhibitionism and Cyrus is a sad example."

I do believe, if we looked through history, we would see exhibitionist activity clearly on display throughout a lot of it. And Cyrus's family posted several throwback photos of the former child star with captions saying things like, "It's almost party time!"

Billy Ray Cyrus VMA tweet

Billy Ray Cyrus VMA tweet

So it is safe to say that Miley's family is very proud of her.

If this were the first time we were seeing wild and crazy Miley after her Hannah Montana days, it would be different. But everyone expects this from her, so what are people getting all bent out of shape about?

More: Miley Cyrus makes Robin Thicke sound like a creep

What do you think about Miley's pre-show post?

Vmas fashion slideshow

The Originals' deleted scene reveals more about Hope's powers

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More: Grant Gustin says he'll never play a cooler character

The clip shows Camille tucking in Baby Hope the night of Hayley (Phoebe Tonkin) and Jackson's wedding. The newly minted Mrs. Kenner arrives home just in time to say goodnight to her baby girl.

But it's Camille who has been waiting to see Hayley.

"Hayley, I keep going over this moment in my mind," Camille tells her. "Last night, right before the explosion on the way to the house the car's engine stopped, like magic. I think it saved our lives. I don't want to speculate, but Hope is part witch. Do you think she did that? Do you think she saved us?"

More: The Originals Season 2: Two surprising characters are coming back

We don't get to see Hayley's reaction, but the new mama no doubt already has an inkling that Hope is on her way to becoming one powerful force to be reckoned with. And no one should be surprised. She's practically got a little of every supernatural power within her: werewolf, vampire, witch.

Check out the full deleted scene over on TV Line's website.

Hopefully this is a good sign that we'll learn more about Baby Hope's powers in Season 3. It sounds like she's capable of quite a lot, and we've just scratched the surface. Not to mention that she's quite cognizant — if she did, in fact, know to save their lives from that explosion, which it's safe to say she did. Little Hope might just be the most powerful supernatural being we've seen on the show yet, and she's not even a year old. Now that's girl power. (Sorry, I couldn't help myself.)

More: The Originals crossovers and 12 other things we need from The CW renewals

The Originals Season 2 DVD will be released on Tuesday, and the new season of the show airs Thursday, Oct. 8 on The CW.

Which questions from the show do you most want to see answered in Season 3?


Amber Rose makes a big statement with her VMAs outfit

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The model walked the red carpet at the 2015 MTV Video Music Awards wearing a bodysuit covered in body-shaming terms so many women hear every day on the street, including "hoe," "golddigger," "slut" and more.

Amber Rose bodysuit 2015 MTV VMAs

Her entourage also wore outfits with similar slurs about LGBTQ community.

Rose's bold look comes just months after her Twitter fight with Khloé Kardashian after the reality star called her out for being a former stripper. The outfit aligns with her desire to take the power out of those words women — both young and old — hear so often.

“I can be the face to help girls have the confidence to move forward,” Rose said on The Doctors in May. “I’m a mom. I had a baby. I’m proud of my body. I worked out. And no one is ever gonna get me down ever again.”

Vmas fashion slideshow

4 Waters that work wonders for your skin and body

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About 60 percent of your body is water, and it's crucial to replenish the supply as much as possible. We should drink it plentifully every day — but unfortunately, most of us slack from time to time and opt for tastier drinks to quench our thirst.

Whether it's adding mint for a fresh taste or dropping lemon juice in warm water, these four healthy and tasty ways to hydrate will have your skin and body thanking you.

1. Fruit-infused water

Kentaroo Tryman/Getty Images

Kentaroo Tryman/Getty Images

If you haven't already jumped on the fruit-infused water bandwagon, give it at try. People often mix in herbs to boost the nutritional benefit, and adding fresh mint with your berries is a work of art in itself. Drinking water has been shown to boost your metabolism, and helps you detox by aiding digestion. Just a few fruits and herbs worth mentioning to add to your water are:

Oranges provide vitamin C.

Blueberries, strawberries and raspberries are chock-full of antioxidants.

Ginger may help fight nausea and ease muscle soreness after a workout.

Mint contains vitamin A, which may strengthen skin tissue.

2. Aloe vera water

Manuel Waechter/Getty Images

Manuel Waechter/Getty Images

Known as the "plant of immortality" by the ancient Egyptians, aloe has been used for centuries to aid everything from arthritis to acne. Aloe vera is also used for medicinal purposes to treat burns, and some studies have shown that it's got promise to treat skin conditions, prevent cavities and help with liver damage. Offered as in water or as pure aloe juice, this is a refreshing and hydrating drink — but don't make your own, as too much aloe can cause cramping.

3. Lemon water

Martin Barraud/Getty Images

Martin Barraud/Getty Images

Drinking warm lemon water in the morning does a body good, which in turn does your skin some good as well. Lemon water has a fair share of vitamin C, a natural antioxidant that fights free radicals, which are damaging to our skin. Key word: natural. It's safe and healthy (though you should drink it through a straw) — and the more you drink, the better you might feel and look. Drinking this water can be a good method of fighting aging (fine lines, wrinkles) because it can build collagen. It's also good for your digestion, and it's a natural pick-me-up. So the next time you're at home or a restaurant, don't forget to add some slices of lemon to your drink.

4. Coconut "water"

Svitlana_Pimenov/Getty Images

Svitlana_Pimenov/Getty Images

I'm not that crazy about the taste of coconut water, but this drink has numerous health advantages. It's actually a juice, not a water, but it's got more potassium, magnesium and calcium and fewer calories than most juices, clocking in at 45-60 calories for eight ounces. (It also has sodium, if you're watching that.)

Coconut water can also act as a great skin tonic, giving dull and dry skin the boost it needs. It contains cytokinins, which can with blood circulation and promote tissue growth — this may help fight pre-mature wrinkles and aging. You can also use coconut water to cleanse your skin. The best part is that it usually has no bad side effects.

5 Things about Pharrell's wife, Helen Lasichanh, you never knew

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According to Williams, Lasichanh stole his heart from the start. But it took a little more than some smooth lines for her to give him a shot. Here's five fun facts about the woman who made Pharrell give up his bachelor ways.

She'ss a model and designer

In fact, Lasichanh regularly makes Huffington Post best-dressed lists and has garnered some serious love from them along with other news outlets.

More: Reactions to Miley Cyrus's nude pre-VMAs selfie are really surprising (PHOTO)

Pharrell had to be super patient to win her over

When Williams and Lasichanh met, she had a boyfriend and wouldn't look twice at the handsome musician. He had to settle with just being friends with her for two and a half years, until she became single again, and even then he had to work hard. According to an interview with Oprah, she played hard to get, not even responding to half his texts! Looks like her ploy worked, though, because Pharrell doubled down on his determination until she fell for him.

She and Pharrell made the most adorable mini-Pharrell

Lasichanh and Williams have a son named Rocket Ayer, who will probably be the most fashionable young man in his kindergarten class. Seriously, look at that face!

Rocket Williams

Rocket Williams

Williams wrote a song for Rocket that you can hear on the soundtrack to Despicable Me. It's called "Rocket’s Theme" and is all about how happy Rocket makes his parents.

More: Pharrell will begin influencing kids even more with new business venture

She was a volleyball player

Lasichanh was a star volleyball player at St. Thomas University in Miami. Can't you just imagine her model face fiercely staring down opponents on the courts? Talk about intimidating!

She and Pharrell are besties

Williams has said that everyone should marry their best friend, and he told Today that "every night is like a sleepover" when it comes to his marriage to Lasichanh.

Vmas fashion slideshow

Don't have that all-important career mentor yet? Here's how to fake it

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This has always been my struggle. Early in my career, I couldn't find the right fit with potential mentors. Each time I tried, the meetings felt awkward and forced. Rather than give up, I decided I'd build my own virtual mentor by taking little bits of a lot of people over the years. I did this by focusing on two things.

Observe the badasses

Many of us women are very good at noticing small details in behavior and speech. This gives us an advantage when it comes to observing people. We can watch and listen, then analyze the whole environment and outcome.

My career took a huge leap after spending a year observing the division lead for my group. I didn't report directly to her but we worked together on many of my initiatives. I was a sponge, watching how she ran meetings, how she would craft emails to push a project through the system, and how she managed the larger team. She was a badass: She knew all her stuff down cold, and she wasn't afraid to go head to head when needed. I walked away after a year of watching her having grown more professionally than I did in the previous five years.

Thought starters when observing a role model:

When challenged, what is their "go-to" response or reaction? Does it work all the time?

What things do they do to get other people to support their projects?

How do they interact with people senior to them? With their peers?

Ask lots of questions

Many of us have a fear of asking questions; heaven forbid that someone think we don't know something. Letting go of the belief that I had to be perceived as knowing everything was a game changer. It gave me permission to go out on limbs and learn things I never would have been able to before. I've asked CEOs how they've negotiated deals, developers to explain a code module, and a 20-something how she got so many Instagram followers.

Designing beautiful presentations and layouts was not one of my strengths. Luckily, I had the chance to work with an amazing designer in one of my roles. Over the course of two years, I asked him a jillion questions. I'd ask him why he selected a specific image, have him show me the tricks he used every day, and talk to him about his design philosophy. He accelerated my career by teaching me skills that made me stand out.

Thought starters when asking questions:

What does this person know about that you don't?

How can you apply their expertise to your skills/situation?

Building your own mentor takes time. As you learn and observe people, you'll add new pieces to your virtual mentor. It could be after a year or after 15 minutes with someone inspiring. The important thing is to keep building it and refining it as you find things that work for you.

As promised, this strategy will avoid awkward and forced relationships. And who knows, it may lead you to a great real-life mentor relationship.   

Pretenders' lead singer has heartbreaking take on her sexual assault

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More: Bill Cosby's barely legal mistress speaks out on the rape allegations

Instead, we should be aiming our anger at how heartbreakingly common Hynde's reaction is: She blames herself for her sexual assault.

The Pretenders lead singer, in a recent interview with the Sunday Times, recounted her reaction to the incident in which a member of an Ohio biker gang took then-21-year-old Hynde to an abandoned home and threatened her with violence if she didn't perform sexual acts.

"You can't paint yourself into a corner and then say, 'Whose brush is this?'" Hynde, now 63, told the Times. "You have to take responsibility. I mean, I was naïve."

She continued, "Technically speaking, however you want to look at it, this was all my doing, and I take full responsibility," Hynde said. "You can't f*** about with people, especially people who wear 'I Heart Rape' and 'On Your Knees' badges... Those motorcycle gangs, that's what they do."

More: Runaways bassist Jackie Fox's rape allegations are heartbreaking

But it gets even worse than that.

"If I'm walking around, and I'm very modestly dressed and I'm keeping to myself, and someone attacks me, then I'd say that's his fault," Hynde said. "But if I'm being very lairy and putting it about and being provocative, then you are enticing someone who's already unhinged — don't do that. Come on! That's common sense. You know, if you don't want to entice a rapist, don't wear high heels so you can't run from him."

Of course, victim blaming is a central idea in rape culture. The truth is that rape is only ever one person's fault: the rapist's. But ideas like Hynde's — that the victim should have done more to deter the assault — are shockingly common, even if they're wrong. Lucy Hastings, head of Victim Support, said as much to The Guardian.

"Victims of sexual violence should never feel or be made to feel that they were responsible for the appalling crime they suffered, regardless of circumstance or factors which may have made them particularly vulnerable," Hastings said.

More: Why a personal rape alarm could be sending the wrong message

Do you agree with Hastings? Head down to the comments and let us know what you think.

Weekly horoscopes: Aug. 31–Sept. 6

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aries

taures

gemini

cancer

leo

virgo

libra

scorpio

sagittarius

capricorn

aquarius

pisces

More on horoscopes

Weekly love horoscopes: Aug. 31–Sept. 6

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ARIES (March 20-April 19)

You need to take a long hard look at why you don't want to push for a leadership position. You say that you don't want the pressure and responsibility that comes with it, but is that the real reason? Chances are you're dealing with more stress by being in the number two spot. The only way that you're going to discover if you're cut out for this sort of thing is to step up to the plate and give it your best shot. Life has enough hurdles as is. Don't be the obstacle to your own success.

Next: Taurus horoscope

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TAURUS (April 20-May 20)

You're ready to reassert yourself after weeks of withdrawing into the background. Part of you knew better than to hand the reins over to an associate who was out of her depth, but you were told (and in no uncertain terms) that you needed to learn to delegate responsibility. Well, you delegated it, and she dropped the ball. Although it will be a major hassle cleaning up this person's mess, your professionalism will win you renewed respect as well as added cachet. It also ensures that a boss or supervisor will think twice about meddling with you again.

Next: Gemini horoscope

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GEMINI (May 21-June 20)

Don't be afraid to ask people to repeat themselves this week. The sun/Neptune opposition is bound to make everybody fuzzy headed, and you don't want to say that you understand things when you actually don't. There's no such thing as a dumb question — especially since that “dumb” question will probably save you from making a grave mistake on Sept. 1 and 4. Also be critical about accepting technical sounding terminology at face value. If it appears more than twice in an email or in conversation, then that's a good clue that a supposed expert is trying to cover his ass.

Next: Cancer horoscope

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CANCER (June 21-July 21)

The time has come to shift the balance of power back to yourself. You've tried doing things somebody else's way, and it's clearly not working. But the stars aren't saying you have to do this overnight. Take the next few weeks to take back the reins. Being a Cancer, you know that the best transitions are the ones that you make slowly but surely. Not only will you accomplish what you set out to do without calling attention to yourself, but by the time you're done, loved ones and coworkers won't even know that there's been a change.

Next: Leo horoscope

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LEO (July 22-Aug. 22)

Try not to let money woes get the better of you this week. The sun's opposition to Neptune is bound to make you feel like you can't get ahead no matter what you do and that everything feels like an exercise in futility. Yet this is more reflective of your mental state than it is of your actual circumstances, as you will see on Wednesday when a sun/moon trine brings good news regarding a sale, loan or some kind of funding. The road to recovery is arduous, but you need to know that you are making progress.

Next: Virgo horoscope

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VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

This is going to be a wonky week. The sun in Virgo opposite Neptune in Pisces will make you feel like somebody upstairs slipped a mickey into your early morning orange juice when you weren't looking. Everything becomes a blur when Neptune is strong. It will be hard to shake this feeling of being off balance, which is why you would be well-advised to avoid any big meetings, confrontations or decisions. You simply are not in the right headspace for it, and you won't be until after the effect passes — which will be on Sept. 8.

Next: Libra horoscope

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LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

Venus comes out of retrograde on Sept. 6. Venus is the planet of attraction in astrology, and when she's behaving herself, then she attracts the things that you like into your life. However, when she's not behaving herself (like when she's retrograde), then she will attract all of those things you don't like — like false friends, needy exes and perv grandpas who can't keep their hands to themselves. Thankfully, this bad spell will come to an end this week, and you can go back to hanging out with people who help make your life a beautiful place to be.

Next: Scorpio horoscope

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SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

Reach out to people outside your inner circle. You could use some fresh insights now, and sometimes acquaintances can see things in you that close friends miss. They might recognize a hidden potential, encourage you to try something different or they might simply tell it like it is because they don't have a long history with you. Acquaintances aren't as emotionally invested as friends can be in you staying who you are. They won't be freaked out by you pursuing something that's out of character. Sometimes a change of social scene can bring a healthy shift in perspective.

Next: Sagittarius horoscope

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SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22 -Dec. 20)

You have always been blessed with potential. In fact, you have more raw talent and natural ability than most people could ever dream of. It's amazing how many things come easily to you. Yet developing that untapped potential into something concrete and ultimately profitable takes discipline, focus and perseverance. An Olympic athlete doesn't become a medalist without daily practice. You will want to keep this in mind during the time that the sun is in Virgo (from now through Sept. 22). Virgo isn't about practice makes perfect. Virgo's message is that one must practice in order to perfect.

Next: Capricorn horoscope

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CAPRICORN (Dec. 21-Jan. 19)

A remarkable sun/Pluto trine on Sept. 5 will serve as a cosmic reminder that when the going gets tough, the tough get going. Pluto is the planet of ordeals and the transformations that arise from them. Although it raises the stakes and toughens the course, Pluto also shows what perseverance and endurance can bring. Pluto's trials by fire force you to call upon strengths you didn't know you had and to use them. This will lead you to take back the power in your life and to turn the tables on a person or situation that's been bullying you.

Next: Aquarius horoscope

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AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 17)

It's time to address some unsavory topics with a spouse or business partner. Thankfully, you were born under an air sign, which means that you're a big believer in talking things out. Airing grievances is never easy, but you'll find that the other person is just as committed to sorting out the dirty laundry. What you will get by the end of the week is acceptance, understanding and a revised game plan that you can both live with. It may take a while to get back into the groove of things, but rest assured that everything will work out.

Next: Pisces horoscope

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PISCES (Feb. 18-March 19)

It may feel like you're surrounded by nitpickers who appear hell-bent on poking holes in your dreams and aspirations, but in truth, they're here to help you be the best that you can be. Children of Jupiter (that's anyone born under Pisces or Sagittarius) don't take kindly to criticism. That's because Jupiter is the planet of emperors, which means that you tend to wave away advisers as if they were irritating flies. Nevertheless, there's a lot of wisdom to be gleaned in what's being said on Sept. 3 and 4, and you should listen to it.

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Jessa Duggar talks about her future reality TV plans

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More: Jessa Duggar's new gig is making a lot of women unhappy

After a new interview, we have a slightly better idea. The former 19 Kids and Counting star's future definitely includes more kids, and it just might include a return to reality TV.

Duggar, who is currently expecting her first child with her husband, Ben Seewald, opened up to Us Weekly during an appearance this weekend at the Southern Women's Show in Charlotte, North Carolina. She told reporters about her plans for adding even more bundles of joy to her already growing family.

But how many bundles of joy, exactly, are in the cards for this couple? Seewald joked that he wanted to show up his wife's famous family by having at least 20, but according to Duggar, that still remains to be seen.

More: Why the Duggars are way worse role models than the Kardashians

"Well, I’m not giving birth to that many, but we want to adopt," Duggar said, adding that, during her current pregnancy, she's been fighting cravings for ice cream and smoothies.

And as their family continues to grow, is there a reality series in store for the Seewalds and their potential 20 kids?

"I don’t know," Duggar told Us Weekly. "if people want to watch us, I don’t mind, but I want to live a peacefully quiet life and just serve the Lord and if people find that interesting, then awesome, but I won’t seek that out myself."

In the meantime, Duggar and Seewald seem to be enjoying married life as expecting parents, and they pointed to the advice they follow to keep their marriage as harmonious as possible.

"We all have selfishness in our hearts, it’s in our nature," Seewald said. "But always thinking more about the other person and how we can make their life easier is important."

More: Jessa Duggar's latest Instagram post looks like it's directed at Josh

Would you watch a new reality show featuring Jessa Duggar and Ben Seewald? Or have you had your fill after several seasons of 19 Kids and Counting? Head down to the comments and share your thoughts with us.


Kim and Kanye make a touching offer to a man who needs a kidney

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More: Khloé Kardashian proves North West can hang with the best of them (PHOTOS)

It all started earlier this month, when 26-year-old Kanye fan Matt Neal posted to a Facebook page with an unusual plea, offering to trade his pair of rare Yeezy Boosts — West's shoes, which are sold out online and currently going for around $900 a pair on eBay — for a functional kidney.

Shoe blog Sole Collector picked up on Neal's story after seeing a post he made on the WDYWT (What Did You Wear Today) Facebook page, where Neal, a resident of Ann Arbor, Michigan, shared with other members of the page that both of his kidneys are failing and he's been on dialysis now for two years.

More: Kim Kardashian source denies rumors of baby No. 2's name

"S/O is a kidney that has been abused by being a hype beast," he wrote. "BIN: One working kidney from a true sneaker head."

Neal also tells members of the group that although he's on the waiting list for a kidney transplant, those on the list in Michigan can wait anywhere from five to seven years for a new organ.

Unfortunately, Neal's proposed deal is illegal — federal law prohibits offering money or merchandise in exchange for an organ. Regardless, Kardashian and West caught wind of the post and offered to personally give Neal a pair of the rare kicks should his trade go down.

Even though that would be breaking federal law, the power couple's interest in the post did get enough people interested that plenty of Yeezy fans have been offering kidneys to Neal for free.

"I’ve been in tears twice now because all the love and support that I’m getting from random strangers!!" Neal posted later in the day.

More: Poll reveals parents don't want Miley Cyrus influencing their kids

Would you trade a kidney for a pair of Yeezy sneakers? Head down to the comments and sound off: Does that kind of trade show crazy devotion? Or is it just crazy?

Justin Bieber's comb-over hairdo stole the MTV VMAs spotlight (PHOTOS)

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Bieber and Trump

Bieber and Trump

Obviously, he has a Donald Trump vibe going on, but the most famous comb-over in the world wasn't the only thing Justin Bieber seems to have taken inspiration from. Here's a list of all the things Justin's hair reminded us of...

This dog

Bieber Dog

Bieber Dog

This guy

Hay Wig Bieber

Hay Wig Bieber

More: Reactions to Miley Cyrus's nude pre-VMAs selfie are really surprising (PHOTO)

Lego my hair spray!

Lego Movie Hair


Image: Giphy.com

Magic

Magic Hair


Image: Giphy.com

More: 5 Things about Pharrell's wife, Helen Lasichanh, you never knew

Ramen noodles

Ramen Noodles


Image: Giphy.com

This angry sloth

Angry Sloth

Angry Sloth

This sexy cow

Blonde Cow


Image: Giphy.com

Kpop star G-Dragon

G-Dragon


Image: Giphy,com

Kate Gosselin

Bieber and Kate Gosselin

Bieber and Kate Gosselin

More: 8 Times Miley Cyrus has proved she actually is a good role model

Vmas fashion slideshow

Miley Cyrus’s VMAs hair draws unexpected hate for cultural appropriation

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And now that the show is in full swing, it isn’t Miley's outfits that are drawing hate — it's her hair. And people are angry at the "Wrecking Ball" singer for what some are claiming is cultural appropriation, going to far as to say she has teamed up with disgraced NAACP leader Rachel Dolezal.

Yeah, remember the white woman who pretended to be black? Her.

Tweeters are claiming that Miley's new locks aren't just clearly extensions but that the dreadlock look-a-likes are cultural appropriation, saying either that Cyrus looks like Dolezal or that Dolezal must have done her hair. Dolezal was able to pass as African American in part because she wore "black" hair styles woven into her Caucasian hair.

More: Reactions to Miley Cyrus's nude pre-VMAs selfie are really surprising (PHOTO)

Cyrus Dolezal tweet 1

Cyrus Dolezal tweet 1

Cyrus Dolezal tweet 2

Cyrus Dolezal tweet 2

More: Rachel Dolezal has nothing to say to people who don't think she's black

Cyrus Dolezal tweet 3

Cyrus Dolezal tweet 3

Then there is the mildly appropriate and utterly hilarious:

Cyrus Dolezal tweet 4

Cyrus Dolezal tweet 4

While extensions are nothing unusual on the red carpet (or anywhere else, for that matter), I think it is a bit harsh to be making the Dolezal-Cyrus comparison. Cyrus's hair appears dreadlock-ish at best and in my opinion does not appear to be appropriating a black hair style. Do I just not get it? This is a legitimate question. And if I don't get it, this is a sincere call for someone to, please, explain.

Dragging her outfits into the conversations are completely fair game, but do you think Miley's hairstyles from the MTV VMAs are cultural appropriation?

More: 8 Times Miley Cyrus has proved she's actually a good role model

Don't Be Tardy shames Brielle Biermann's dreams of being a mother

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Kim Zolciak is constantly chasing after little kids (and teenagers who act like little kids), so the last thing she needs right now is to add grandchildren to the mix. When Kim very awkwardly asked Brielle Biermann's boyfriend Slade whether he and his gal might make the Real Housewives of Atlanta alum a grandma, she was surprised to learn that her daughter and potential son-in-law were very very amenable to the idea... perhaps too amenable!

More: Brielle Biermann is spoiled with a capital "S"

To Kim's shock, an excited Brielle declared that she would love to be a young mom, just like Ms. Zolciak was nearly two decades ago. Suddenly realizing that her daughter was serious about having kids in a few years, Kim made it obvious that she did not approve of this plan.

Kim's response is not surprising; based on what we know about Brielle, the young woman will not be ready for kids in a few short years. Brielle is just not mature enough to handle the responsibilities of parenthood. Remember, this is the same person who crashed four of her parents' cars in quick succession. Driving ability might not be a direct indicator of future parenting skills, but given Brielle's history, the thought of her with kids remains very unsettling.

More: Brielle Biermann becomes the victim of cruel internet bullies

To be fair, Brielle spent the first portion of the episode insisting that she had no interest in hanky-panky with Slade. She also claimed that she did not intend to become a teen mom. So, if she really does mean what she says about being a young mother, she wants to at least be a 20-something before establishing a family. If her life goes as currently planned, she'll be "married with one on the way" in five years. For a normal gal, this wouldn't be so bad, but the thought of Brielle with a kid in five years is still a bit concerning.

More: Kim Zolciak shocks fans with her extreme new curves

Don't Be Tardy's Twitter fans are not big on the idea of Brielle becoming a mom before the year 2020. Ideally, she would wait at least a decade, because when it comes to emotional maturity, she has a lot of catching up to do. A few of the show's fans hope that Brielle is joking about young motherhood, but others maintain that this is not a joking matter.

Brielle joking

Brielle joking

Brielle has whole life

Brielle has whole life

Some fans didn't take issue with Brielle, but rather with Kim's sudden decision to crack down:

Kim Zolciak parenting

Kim Zolciak parenting

Brielle does have a way of trying to mess with her mom, but she seemed just genuine enough in this particular scene to leave fans feeling a bit concerned. Maybe she'll be a decent mom one day, but it will be best for everybody if Brielle and Slade (or whoever her future baby daddy happens to be) wait a long time before popping out babies.

Images: Bravo

Do you think Brielle Biermann will be ready to have kids in a few years? Comment and share your opinion below!

Pharrell and his wife do their best Britney and Justin at the MTV VMAs

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Matching denim outfits at the MTV VMAs

Images: Jeffrey Mayer/Wire Image/Getty Images and Jason Merritt//Wire Image/Getty Images

This year? Pharrell Williams, 42, and wife Helen Lasichanh, 35, are the ones on that JT and Brit look. And, as usual, they look super cool.

While Perry and Riff Raff wanted a clear throwback to the early 2000s, Pharrell and Lasichanh keep their looks effortlessly modern with denim overalls and a button-up (her) and matching jeans and a jacket (him), both topped off with black hats.

More: 5 Things about Pharrell's wife, Helen Lasichanh, you never knew

Pharrell Williams at the 2015 VMAs

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