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Keira Knightley is pregnant, shows off small baby bump

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Actress Keira Knightley had that special glow during the Moet British Independent Film Awards on Sunday. Multiple sources, including Page Six, are chalking that glow up to the fact that she is more than three months pregnant with her first child.

The 29-year-old star showed off a hint of a baby bump in a cream-colored Rocha gown as she mingled at the event. The Pirates of the Caribbean star did not drink any champagne, despite the fact that it was flowing as they were the main sponsor of the event.

Pregnant Keira Knightley baby bump

Image: Daniel Deme/WENN

"Keira and James are thrilled," a family member told Star magazine. "This wasn't planned, but that is how they wanted it."

The pregnancy is good timing for the couple, who married last year, as Knightley has just finished filming a movie. "She will be able to relax and settle into family life in London," a friend reports.

Although no news as to the gender of the baby just yet, the star did tell Glamour in an interview this year that if she had a daughter, she would advise her against being an actress, calling the constant rejection "heartbreaking."

"It can be completely heartbreaking for most people who do it, because the amount of rejection is enormous. And it doesn't matter what kind of person you are, it's impossible for that not to take a toll. So I would say to my daughter, 'Be a doctor or a lawyer — something stable and useful.'"

The actress has been trying to hide her changing figure to conceal the baby news. "Keira and her stylist have been putting together looks that hide her growing bump," the source reveals.

Now that the news is out, be prepared to see more of Knightley's growing bump, as she earned a SAG nomination for best supporting actress for The Imitation Game.

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Pumpkin pudding and cheese pie puffs are an easy holiday appetizer

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2 pumpkin cheese pie puffs

I'm really liking frozen pastry cups, because I can make treats like these and feel like a fancy baker, when in reality all I do is open the box, put the frozen little discs onto a cookie sheet and pop them into the oven. Then it's like magic how they puff up. And the good news is that there's a little circular disc in the middle of the cooked pastry that needs to be removed so the filling can go in the middle. The cook gets to snack on those circular discs; it's a requirement. How great is that?

These make wonderful desserts that can be made ahead of time. Even if just the pastry is made in advance, it saves time when it comes to assembling them. So give these cuties a try the next time you need to make a dessert — or even if you just feel like making a sweet treat.

3 Pumpkin cheese pie puffs

Pumpkin cheese pie puffs recipe

A quick and easy dessert that is semi-homemade. These pastry cups are filled with pumpkin pudding and cheese pie filling. Quick, easy to make and can be made ahead of time.

Yields 24

Prep time: 15 minutes | Cook time: 30 minutes | Total time: 45 minutes

Ingredients:

  • 1 (9.5 ounce) box 24 frozen puff pastry cups
  • 1 (3.4 ounce) box pumpkin spice instant pudding and pie filling
  • 2 cups cold milk
  • 1 (8 ounce) package cream cheese, softened
  • 1/4 cup plus 2 tablespoons granulated sugar
  • 3 cups Cool Whip topping
  • 1 tablespoon ground cinnamon

Directions:

  1. Preheat the oven to 400 degrees F.
  2. Lay the frozen puff pastry cups on a cookie sheet, and bake according to the instructions on the box. Let cool, and remove the small discs in the middle of each pastry cup to make room for the filling.
  3. To a medium-size bowl, add the pudding mix and milk according to the instructions on the box.
  4. Whisk together, cover with cellophane, and chill in the refrigerator.
  5. To a medium-size bowl, add the cream cheese and sugar. Beat with a hand mixer until light and fluffy.
  6. After the pudding hardens up a bit and has had time to chill (about 30 minutes), add 1/2 the pudding to the bowl with the cream cheese mixture. Reserve the remaining pudding.
  7. Whisk together the pudding and cream cheese mixture until the pudding is incorporated and it's light and fluffy.
  8. Spoon in a couple of tablespoons of the reserved pumpkin pudding into the cream cheese mixture, and swirl it with a spoon a couple of times, just enough so that the orange color of the pudding is swirled into the lighter-colored cream cheese mixture. There will be some pudding left over.
  9. Spoon the cream cheese and pudding mixture into each puff pastry cup.
  10. Top with a dollop of Cool Whip.
  11. Serve with a light dusting of cinnamon on top.

For tons of great recipes, like our I <3 Comfort Food page on Facebook.

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Tom Cruise is crazy for selling this gorgeous Colorado home

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It seems that Maverick isn't quite cut out to be a mountain man. Former Top Gun star Tom Cruise has opted to list his Telluride, Colorado, mansion for lack of use. The Scientology advocate is said to have purchased the home with plans to build a bunker to protect his family against alien invasion. However, there is no word as to if the bunker ever came to fruition. Not included in the real estate listing, it's safe to assume that Tom may have ditched the idea when he and Katie got together. Formerly living in New York City together, Holmes and Suri now reside in Calabasas with the Kardashian crew.

Wow, being married to Tom Cruise sounds awful, and Katie Holmes confirms it

Telluride cabin

Photo credit: Zillow.com

An astonishing piece of real estate, the secluded cabin is located only 12 minutes from historic and beautiful downtown Telluride. Surrounded by gorgeous Colorado mountains, forests, sunrises and sunsets, the cabin is built with bleached cedar timbers, dovetail joinery and native stone. Built with the finest craftsmanship, it's a wonder that the actor would want to part with such a magnificent property. The perfect winter getaway in one of the nation's most beloved ski towns, it seems Tom prefers the big city life compared to the serenity of wide-open spaces. You know, we never did quite see our Maverick as a mountain man anyway... Can you imagine him in a full-grown beard and flannel?

Yeah, me either.

6 Best mountain lodges for a winter retreat

Telluride, CO

Photo credit: Zillow.com

Telluride, CO

Photo credit: Zillow.com

Telluride, CO

Photo credit: Zillow.com

Telluride, CO

Photo credit: Zillow.com

Telluride, CO

Photo credit: Zillow.com

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Jane the Virgin and 6 other surprising Golden Globe noms that should win

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More: Selma's Ava DuVernay's Golden Globe nomination just made history

Jane the Virgin: Best TV Series, Musical or Comedy

Did you ever think you'd see the day when a CW show was nominated for a Golden Globe? Well, Jane the Virgin has broken through that barrier and we couldn't be happier for this sweet, funny and poignant series. We think it deserves to take home the trophy because of its completely different style and amazing acting.

Allison Janney: Best Supporting Actress in a Series, Mini-Series, or TV Movie

After being nominated four times and losing for the hit drama The West Wing, Janney finally got nominated for her work on Mom. It's a bit of a surprise that a comedy like Mom would get a nomination. But we think Janney has the chance to win the award as she's spectacular and deserves it for her work playing a mom who's had some challenges to becoming a good mother.

Quvenzhané Wallis: Best Actress in a Motion Picture, Musical or Comedy

The biggest surprise about this nomination is that Annie hasn't been receiving the kind of word of mouth a movie wants to get before it's released. But whatever the problems with the film, we think Wallis is a talented actress who deserves to win. She blew us out of the water with her performance in her other films, such as Beasts of the Southern Wild and 12 Years a Slave.

Game of Thrones: Best TV Series, Drama

The surprise is that this epic series has never gotten a nod for best drama series by the Golden Globes. We're happy that error has been corrected this year. We think it has deserved to win because the beauty and scope of this series is like nothing that was ever seen before it. It broke ground in many ways and it deserves to be acknowledged for that.

More: George Clooney to be honored at the Golden Globes

Alan Cumming: Best Supporting Actor in a Series, Mini-Series, or TV Movie

The Good Wife has had its fair share of nominations and this year is no different. What did come as a surprise for us was seeing Cumming's name among the list of nominees for best supporting actor. Cumming is nothing short of a revelation on The Good Wife. He constantly surprises us in his role as Eli Gold, a character that is so far from Cumming's real-life persona that it has been a joy to watch him step into the skin of someone else. If that doesn't deserve a win, we don't know what does.

Gina Rodriguez: Best Actress in a TV Series, Musical or Comedy

Yes, we already talked about Jane the Virgin above, but now it's time to give the show's star her due. The quirky CW series would be nothing without Rodriguez in the lead role as a young woman accidentally impregnated and forced into becoming a real-life virgin mother. We think Rodriguez deserves to win for the way she portrays Jane's take on her new life. Rodriguez's Jane is both innocent and wise all at once.

Transparent: Best TV Series, Musical or Comedy

Not that long ago, a series about a transgender woman would never have been pitched in Hollywood, let alone made. But thankfully, times have changed and Jeffrey Tambor's turn as the lead character in Transparent has become one of our favorite performances of the year. The surprise isn't that a show with a transgender lead character was nominated, but that a show produced by Amazon was. The face of TV is changing daily and now includes those series that don't air on your standard networks. We think it deserves to win because it is fantastic, but we hope it will win to push the envelope on the definition of a TV series.

More: Amy Poehler hangs on to Golden Globes gig, text buddies

Check out the full list of Golden Globe nominations below

Best Motion Picture, Drama

Boyhood

Foxcatcher

The Imitation Game

Selma

The Theory of Everything

Best Actress in a Motion Picture, Drama

Julianne Moore, Still Alice

Rosamund Pike, Gone Girl

Reese Witherspoon, Wild

Felicity Jones, The Theory of Everything

Jennifer Aniston, Cake

Best Actor in a Motion Picture, Drama

Eddie Redmayne, The Theory of Everything

Steve Carell, Foxcatcher

Benedict Cumberbatch, The Imitation Game

David Oyelowo, Selma

Jake Gyllenhaal, Nightcrawler

Best Motion Picture, Musical or Comedy

Into The Woods

Birdman

The Grand Budapest Hotel

St. Vincent

Pride

Best Actress In A Motion Picture, Musical or Comedy

Julianne Moore, Maps to the Stars

Amy Adams, Big Eyes

Emily Blunt, Into the Woods

Helen Mirren, The Hundred-Foot Journey

Quvenzhané Wallis, Annie

Best Actor in a Motion Picture, Musical or Comedy

Michael Keaton, Birdman

Bill Murray, St. Vincent

Ralph Fiennes, The Grand Budapest Hotel

Christoph Waltz, Big Eyes

Joaquin Phoenix, Inherent Vice

Best Animated Feature Film

The Lego Movie

How To Train Your Dragon 2

Big Hero 6

The Book of Life

The Boxtrolls

Best Foreign Language Film

Ida (Poland/Denmark)

Force Majeure (Turist) (Sweden)

Gett: The Trial of Viviane Amsalem Gett (Israel)

Tangerines (Mandariinid) (Estonia)

Leviathan (Russia)

Best Supporting Actress in a Motion Picture

Jessica Chastain, A Most Violent Year

Keira Knightley, The Imitation Game

Patricia Arquette, Boyhood

Meryl Streep, Into the Woods

Emma Stone, Birdman

Best Supporting Actor in a Motion Picture

Ethan Hawke, Boyhood

Robert Duvall, The Judge

Edward Norton, Birdman

J.K. Simmons, Whiplash

Mark Ruffalo, Foxcatcher

Best Director – Motion Picture

Ava DuVernay, Selma

Wes Anderson, The Grand Budapest Hotel

Alejandro González Iñárritu, Birdman

David Fincher, Gone Girl

Richard Linklater, Boyhood

Best Screenplay – Motion Picture

Wes Anderson, The Grand Budapest Hotel

Gillian Flynn, Gone Girl

Alejandro González Iñárritu, Nicolás Giacobone, Alexander Dinelaris, Armando Bo, Birdman

Richard Linklater, Boyhood

Graham Moore, The Imitation Game

Best Original Score – Motion Picture

Alexandre Desplat, The Imitation Game

Jóhann Jóhannsson, The Theory Of Everything

Trent Reznor, Atticus Ross, Gone Girl

Antonio Sanchez, Birdman

Hans Zimmer, Interstellar

Best Original Song – Motion Picture

"Big Eyes" — Big Eyes

"Glory" — Selma

"Mercy Is" — Noah

"Opportunity" — Annie

"Yellow Flicker Beat" — The Hunger Games: Mockingjay – Part 1

Best TV Series, Drama

Downton Abbey (Masterpiece)

The Affair

Game Of Thrones

House of Cards

The Good Wife

Best Actress in a TV Series, Drama

Viola Davis, How to Get Away With Murder

Claire Danes, Homeland

Julianna Margulies, The Good Wife

Robin Wright, House of Cards

Ruth Wilson, The Affair

Best Actor in a TV Series, Drama

Kevin Spacey, House of Cards

Clive Owen, The Knick

James Spader, The Blacklist

Dominic West, The Affair

Liev Schreiber, Ray Donovan

Best TV Series, Musical or Comedy

Orange Is the New Black

Girls

Jane the Virgin

Transparent

Silicon Valley

Best Actress in a TV Series, Musical or Comedy

Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Veep

Edie Falco, Nurse Jackie

Gina Rodriguez, Jane The Virgin

Lena Dunham, Girls

Taylor Schilling, Orange Is the New Black

Best Actor in a TV Series, Musical or Comedy

Don Cheadle, House of Lies

William H. Macy, Shameless

Ricky Gervais, Derek

Jeffrey Tambor, Transparent

Louis C.K., Louie

Best TV Movie or Mini-Series

Olive Kitteridge

Fargo

The Missing

True Detective

The Normal Heart

Best Actress in a Mini-Series or TV Movie

Jessica Lange, American Horror Story: Freak Show

Maggie Gyllenhaal, The Honorable Woman

Frances McDormand, Olive Kitteridge

Allison Tolman, Fargo

Frances O'Connor, The Missing

Best Actor in a Mini-Series or TV Movie

Martin Freeman, Fargo

Matthew McConaughey, True Detective

Woody Harrelson, True Detective

Billy Bob Thornton, Fargo

Mark Ruffalo, The Normal Heart

Best Supporting Actress in a Series, Mini-Series or TV Movie

Kathy Bates, American Horror Story: Freak Show

Uzo Aduba, Orange Is the New Black

Joanne Froggatt, Downton Abbey

Michelle Monaghan, True Detective

Allison Janney, Mom

Best Supporting Actor in a Series, Mini-Series or TV Movie

Bill Murray, Olive Kitteridge

Jon Voight, Ray Donovan

Matt Bomer, The Normal Heart

Alan Cumming, The Good Wife

Colin Hanks, Fargo

To-die-for Nutella lasagna is the answer to my prayers

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It's the snack time witching hour, and I was already craving something to satisfy my insatiable sweet tooth when I came face-to-face with my perfect match. Nutelasagna, where the heckfire have you been all my life?

Normally I roll my eyes whenever I read about another over-the-top food mashup. Remember bacon chocolate and ice cream? Ew. The Cronut? Please (though I was mildly impressed by the sensation it caused). Pizza cake? OK, that does look sorta delish.

nutella lasagna

Image: Robicelli's Bakery

But this one, Nutelasagna, is different, I can tell. First, the description by creator Robicelli's Bakery in Brooklyn got me all hot and bothered. "It's layers of buttery lasagna noodles, cannoli custard, copious amounts of Nutella, crushed roasted hazelnuts, and chopped chocolate, with some marshmallows on top for additional sweetness," owner Allison Robicelli told Gothamist. Dear God, help me. Help us all.

But then I saw it, not quite across a crowded room, but give me time. I took one look at the picture, and my heart was aflutter. And I could drive there to see it in person!

My sweet soul mate (too soon?) is being sold on Robicelli's website by the half tray or full tray for $65 and $120, respectively, and is apparently flying off the bakery's shelves this holiday season. Online dating is great and all, but we really need to meet — which is the only way to try a single serving anyway. Brooklyn, here I come.

More on Nutella

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Driving with a buzz could kill your teen

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In fact, I shudder to think of the one or two narrow misses I had as a young adult, before I really understood what alcohol did to my body. Until I was 21, I was the "good kid" who didn't touch alcohol. On my 21st birthday, I drank three beers while tubing down a Central Texas river. When I stepped out of the river, I grabbed the keys to my car, believing that my swimming thoughts were just what my peers called a "buzz." Thankfully, my older brother stepped in and named for me what my peers wouldn't: I was drunk and completely unable to safely drive a car.

The term "buzz" is thrown around a lot in social circles, when teens and young adults don't want to name that they are incapacitated. I get that. The term "drunk" is negative and sloppy. But buzzed? That's just having a good time.

Unfortunately, buzzed is synonymous with drunk, and our teens and young adults are at increased risk of injury and death while driving if they believe otherwise. Martha Lockie, director of community outreach for the New Life House Recovery Community, explains, "Car crashes are a leading cause of death for teens, and about a quarter of these car crashes involve an underage drinking driver." The amount of alcohol consumed doesn't matter in the statistics — it only matters that the driver was under the influence of any alcohol. She adds that according to the Centers for Disease Control, 2,650 teens died in motor vehicle accidents in 2011, and another 292,000 were treated for crash-related injuries. That's roughly 600 teens dead from drinking and driving, and another 73,000 injured. This clearly bears our attention, whether we're calling it buzzed or drunk.

Interestingly, Lockie states that a key component of teen drinking behavior is the existence of black and white family rules. This flies in the face of what many parents seem to believe — that moderation and experimentation with alcohol will increase kids' understanding of the impact of alcohol on the body. It doesn't, apparently. "Parents need to be as black and white as possible, and institute hard line family rules about drinking and driving," she says. "It is statistically proven that the longer kids hold off on experimenting, the better chances they have of not becoming addicted in the future." In other words, the longer kids wait to experiment, the better chance they have of staying alive in those tenuous teen and young adult years.

So, Mom, don't be cool. Be a hard-ass about alcohol consumption to minimize the risks of your teen driving with a "fun buzz." It might just keep your kid alive.

More about teens and risky behavior

18-year-old vlogger gives young girls disgusting advice on domestic abuse
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17-year-old girl charged with running a high school prostitution ring

Kate Middleton throws major side eye at pushy New York grandma (VIDEO)

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The former Kate Middleton had a moment during her trip to New York City earlier this week when we saw a very rare occurrence: She momentarily dropped her perfect facade and, in doing so, became even more perfect.

More: Watch Kate Middleton visit Harlem for the first time ever (VIDEO)

While wrapping gifts with a group of grandmothers in Harlem, Kate and her perfectly manicured fingers slowed down for a hot second to chat with the other attendees and she was promptly told by one of the grannies to "keep wrapping!"

Sassypants Kate's reaction to the slight shut. It. Down.

Kate Middleton side-eye video

Kate Middleton side-eye video

The smile says, "Right then, carry on. Cheerio!" But the eyes say, "Bitch, please."

Slower:

Kate Middleton side eye

Image: TheCuriousMind/YouTube

Sloooooooooower:

Kate Middleton side-eye tweet

Kate Middleton side-eye tweet

Bow down, Granny.

Serial: 9 Things to know about the podcast everyone's listening to

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Though podcasts have enjoyed a pretty major amount of popularity over the past couple of years, there hasn't really been one that has kept listeners hovering around their speakers week by week to find out what is going to happen next on a radio program. However, a new true crime podcast called Serial has managed to keep listeners yearning for a new episode of the show like it's 1926 and the television hasn't even been invented yet.

What is it about the show that proves to be so riveting? Here are some interesting facts about Serial that might compel you to hop on the bandwagon and take a listen with everyone else.

More: Earl Hayes raps about murder-suicide years before death — read the lyrics

1. It's a spinoff

Serial comes from the minds behind NPR favorite, This American Life. Longtime host and executive producer, Ira Glass, is involved behind the scenes.

2. The host is a seasoned journalist

The podcast is hosted by Sarah Koenig, who has served as a producer since 2004. Koenig, who is a Peabody Award-winning journalist, also served as a political reporter for the Baltimore Sun and the Concord Monitor in New Hampshire, according to the This American Life website. She also lived in Russia for three years, working for ABC News and the New York Times.

More: Podcast of the month — The Moth

3. The show is making podcast history

The show has already surpassed 5 million downloads and streams, and Apple says it broke the record for the fastest podcast to reach the milestone, according to the Guardian.

4. It's designed to be listened to in order

Serial's website advises that you start at Episode 1, otherwise you will be lost.

5. This season follows the murder of an 18-year-old girl and the arrest of her 17-year-old boyfriend

The murder occurred in 1999 and Koenig said in a recent interview with Stephen Colbert that she was contacted by a family friend of the accused boy, Adnan Syed. The friend informed Koenig that they felt Syed was innocent and implored her to look into holes in the investigation.

6. Syed's family listens to the show

Syed's brother, Yusuf Syed, admitted to CBS News that he and his mother listen to the show, according to Mashable. "Some days I'll be like, 'Oh this is a really great episode,' some days I'll just feel so down and depressed," he said.

More: 4 Killer How to Get Away with Murder theories

7. Production doesn't know what's going to happen next, either

Each episode seems to be a cliffhanger, but that's for good reason. Koenig and her team put together the episodes as they come across information. "We're reporting this story as we write it," it says on the website. We're still pinning down information, doing interviews, following leads. So when you listen each week, the truth is you're actually not that far behind us."

8. The internet is not happy about the season ending

Serial over 3

Serial over 3

Serial over

Serial over

Serial over 2

Serial over 2

Conan on Serial

Conan on Serial

9. Stephen Colbert calls Koenig his favorite guest of all time

On a recent episode of The Colbert Report, Colbert referred to Koenig as the world's first "superstar podcaster," and the favorite guest comment is a bold statement, considering everyone who has been on his show.

10. Season 2 will happen and was funded by listeners

Just in case you get hooked, production has confirmed that there will be a second season of the wildly popular podcast. "Last week, we asked people who've been listening to Serial to chip in if they wanted a second season," it says on the show's website. "This American Life funded the bulk of Season One, but to make Serial ongoing, it needs to pay for itself. Today, we have good news: between the money you donated and sponsorship, we'll be able to make a second season of Serial."


Sons of Anarchy actor kills and eats his girlfriend's pet rabbit

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Dimitri Diatchenko, who has featured in multiple television shows like Sons of Anarchy and 2 Broke Girls, was arrested and charged for apparently eating his ex-girlfriend's pet rabbit and threatening to do the same to her, according to the NY Daily News.

More: Kurt Sutter wants heads to roll after Sons of Anarchy spoiler leak

Diatchenko and his ex-girlfriend had broken up months ago, but were apparently still living together, despite no longer being a couple. His ex-girlfriend allegedly decided they needed to live separately and no longer be roommates, which spurred Diatchenko's Hannibal-esque eating rampage.

According to E! Online and the Los Angeles Country District Attorney's Office, the actor was officially charged with one count of animal cruelty with the use of a knife and another felony count for allegedly making threats.

As if skinning and eating the pet bunny wasn't enough, Diatchenko also took step-by-step photos of the incident, which he then sent to his ex along with the threats.

More: Katey Sagal's secrets to staying smoking hot at 60

Though Diatchenko has yet to officially comment on the incident, he did post a tweet apparently denying the incident and the charges.

Dimitri Diatchenko tweet following arrest

Dimitri Diatchenko tweet following arrest

Police are still investigating, but prosecutors also confirmed to E! Online that, if convicted, Diatchenko could face up to four years and eight months in jail.

More: The Sons of Anarchy/Hamlet parallel means certain death for [SPOILER]

A bunny wasn't the only pet in the Diatchenko household. The actor also owns a English bulldog, which he shares multiple photos of on social media.

Dimitri Diatchenko tweet of his English bulldog

Dimitri Diatchenko tweet of his English bulldog

Hopefully, he likes the dog more than he liked the rabbit.

Diatchenko's other television credits include Bones, Burn Notice and Walker, Texas Ranger, and film credits, The Chernobyl Diaries and Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.

It seems his bad boy persona also translates off screen.

Tom Hanks' son Chet Haze might have the oddest Instagram ever (VIDEOS)

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Chet is the son of Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson. He recently went public about his battle with alcohol and drug abuse as a teenager, but he is celebrating life sober now.

We're super happy for Chet that he got clean and found sobriety, but we are a bit baffled by his image on Instagram. The guy loves posting videos and they might possibly be the weirdest footage to ever grace the social media site, and that's saying a lot. From his deep philosophical thoughts while walking down the street to random musings about fruit, we have to say we're intrigued by the younger Hanks.

More: Emmys red carpet recap — Tom Hanks tries to hire SheKnows

Here are some of the highlights.

Warning: Some of these videos are NSFW due to profanity.

Chet, who goes by Chet Haze, waxing poetic about being the kid of a celeb

Just Chet

Just Chet

But how are you using your voice, Just Chet?

Chet creeping around the State Department

Chet at the state department

Chet at the state department

Hey, White Chocolate, you seem like you're up to no good.

More: Tom Hanks reveals he's been living with type 2 diabetes

Giving a shout out to his fruits

Chet on fruits

Chet on fruits

Bananas and grapefruits are super sad right now.

More: Which comic book villain should Tom Hanks play?

Plugging his SoundCloud page

Chet beat boxer

Chet beat boxer

He just might have a career as a human beatbox.

Chet putting on an English accent that rivals his dad's acting abilities

Chet's accent

Chet's accent

Or is it Australian?

Gettin' down to some rock 'n' roll

Chet rocking out

Chet rocking out

White Chocolate likes him some Led Zeppelin.

Thinking about settling down

Chet settling down

Chet settling down

Not.

Chet seems to be an Aladdin fan

Chet singing

Chet singing

We're picking up a touch of Kermit in his voice.

Shout out to Big Keith at Trendsetters

Chet hair

Chet hair

His hair is pretty magical.

Chet taking time to appreciate the glorious weather

Chet on the weather

Chet on the weather

Who knew he was into the classics?

Chet has some pretty major problems in this one

Chet in his car

Chet in his car

If you can't take the heat, get your butt out of the car!

Chet being normal

Chet being normal

Chet being normal

The more you know...

How to sauté your fennel for an elegant side dish

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Fennel is also an excellent choice of vegetable in terms of nutrition. In salads, it partners perfectly with oranges, and with this simple sauté, clementines make an excellent choice to mix it with. And for an added crunch — pistachios.

These three ingredients complete this simple dish, but the trick to making the flavors come out is cooking them for a long time and letting the plate rest before serving.

Fennel, clementines and pistachios

Sautéed fennel, clementines and pistachios recipe

I like this simple dish because it doesn't require many ingredients, and it becomes tastier as you cook it longer in the saucepan. So five minutes more matters for the overall taste, and be sure to let it rest before serving.

Serves 2

Prep time: 10 minutes | Cook time: 30 minutes | Total time: 40 minutes

Ingredients:

  • 1 fennel bulb, rinsed
  • 1/8 cup extra-virgin olive oil
  • 1 tablespoon balsamic vinegar
  • 2 clementines, peeled and sliced
  • 1 clementine, juice only
  • 1 tablespoon crushed pistachios
  • Salt and pepper

Directions:

  1. Slice the fennel in half vertically, cut away the base, and then slice the fennel into strips. Clean under each layer of skin to wash away any trapped sediments. Set aside.
  2. In a hot saucepan with olive oil over low-medium heat, sauté the fennel until it starts to color.
  3. Add the balsamic vinegar, and stir it around the fennel for a minute.
  4. Add the clementines and the juice, and cook until the fennel starts to become soft. Add more olive oil if it's starting to dry up.
  5. Add the pistachios, and season with salt and pepper. Toss for another 5 minutes, and then turn off the heat.
  6. Let it rest for a few minutes before serving.

For tons of great recipes, like our I <3 Comfort Food page on Facebook.

More fennel recipes

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Branzino and fennel carpaccio

Marilyn Manson's rape scene story is confusing: Read why

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In an interview with NME, Manson said he was there, but he wasn't there, and it was something that his friend wanted to do as a "camera test," but someone else spliced it in with actual Manson footage, and Del Rey was being a real PITA about it (gee, wonder why?) but they're pals. Oh, and none of this jibes with what his rep said about it when the footage first surfaced.

"It wasn't a Marilyn Manson video," he said. "The editor of the company that put it out was somebody who's edited my videos, that video was something that was done with a camera that Eli (Roth - director), who's my friend, and I both wanted to test out, so I let him test it out… What they filmed was put in context seemingly as if it were a Marilyn Manson video, and that was in no way the intention."

Also, Lana Del Rey is a real piece of work when you're trying to get her to agree to a rape simulation.

More: Marilyn Manson pranks Spring Breakers party

"Eli and I wanted to do a music video with her but she was being such a problem," he said. "Although I still respect her, I'm friends with her. I just left, I was tired, I was not willing to make that part of the video. Eli and I originally had intentions of making a video with her, but that is not the intention that is represented in that film clip because that is not what I filmed, not for my video.

"But the people put it together with my other clips. And it really strongly stands out of place, it doesn't really make sense. I would not make a video of that nature, nor would Eli. I don't think either of us were ever intending for that to be seen, it was more of a camera test. I'm a person that would beat somebody's ass if they raped somebody that I know."

More: 4 Times Lana Del Rey acted freakishly like Courtney Love

What really doesn't make sense is that most of the footage shot by Roth, excluding the rape scene, made it into the official music video for "No Reflection." See for yourself:

Marilyn Manson No Reflection

Marilyn Manson No Reflection

Previously, Manson's rep said he knew absolutely zero about any of the footage and that it must be fanfic of sorts. "Manson did not direct this, shoot it, nor was it for a Marilyn Manson video or outtake footage made by him or to be used by him with his music," said spokesperson Kathryn Frazier. "It must be a fan video splicing up old Manson video footage with someone else's Lana Del Rey footage."

Of course, Del Rey's video for "Pretty When You Cry" is pretty horrific too, so maybe she had practice?

Tell us: Are you buying Marilyn Manson's explanation of this terrifying footage?

I couldn't hide my postpartum depression from my older child

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I had the perfect birth, a home birth surrounded by my husband, midwife, doulas and friend. My 3-year-old son joined us in the birthing tub soon after his baby brother emerged. My baby nursed well at first, and the four of us — our new little family — fell asleep together in my bed.

A few weeks later, baby and I were struggling to nurse well. Wincing at the thought of him latching on to my sore, raw breast induced tears. Nursing issues plus the fact that I was at risk for postpartum mood disorders equaled a cocktail I really, really didn't want to drink.

I took a shower and the hot tears flowed. I don't remember everything about that time, what with being in my postpartum, mommy-brain stupor, but I do remember this:

I never, ever wanted to get out of the shower.

I couldn't understand what was happening to me, yet at the same time of course I could. I had the symptoms of postpartum depression — I was physically and emotionally exhausted and thought I wasn't being a good mom. I was a doula who helped moms and babies get breastfeeding off to a great start but had issues nursing my own baby, my mother-in-law was dying and I was too tired and depressed to give my toddler the attention he needed.

I gained what tiny bit of composure I had and got out of the shower just in time for the baby to want to eat. Again. I knew I would be strong and stop the tears, though, because that's what mamas do, right?

I sat down to nurse my baby and my toddler came out to play. I couldn’t hold back the tears though I tried, and let's face it, even 3-year-olds are way smarter than parents give them credit for.

"Why you crying, Mama?" he asked.

"I'm OK," I lied, er, said.

"Mamas don’t cry," he said.

Oh, but we do, I said. I vaguely remember saying everyone cries. Sometimes we cry when we're sad, other times because we’re happy. I reassured him I was OK.

I went to the doctor and we developed a plan to curb my postpartum depression. I met with a lactation consultant, and with a lot of time and effort I was able to nurse my baby happily. Without tears.

Bottom line? It’s OK to show emotion in front of older kids. It's crucial to seek help if you even just think you may have a postpartum mood disorder.

More about babies & motherhood

The truth about prenatal depression
Postpartum pampering: Avoid new mommy burnout
What is postpartum anxiety?

Your guide to getting the perfect chocolate chip cookie is here

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Like all baking, making cookies is a science. It's not just about the ingredients you use — it's how much of each and what cooking technique you use that all contribute to the final texture. This may explain why it took me the better part of fifth grade to figure out how to bake a passable sugar cookie. (Note to beginners: When it comes to baking soda, confusing tablespoons and teaspoons will ruin your cookies. Also take note that orange food coloring and vanilla extract sometimes come in very similar bottles.)

Luckily over on Handle the Heat, they've put together an extensive guide to baking chocolate chip cookies that shows you how everything from overcreaming your butter to using an air pan can affect your cookies.

Take a look at the charts below, and get ready to finally bake your cookies just the way you like them!

ultimate guide to chocolate chip cookies

Image: Handle the Heat

You can see the methodology and read a full description of the results over at Handle the Heat. What are your top tips for getting the perfect cookie?

More on cookies

Mini hot cocoa cookie mugs are almost too cute to eat
4 Cookie-flavored holiday cocktails that are sure to wow
Christmas pinwheel cookies celebrate the season with red and green

Mommy tweets: Kate Hudson, Busy Philipps, Gisele, Anna Faris, Jessica Alba

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Kate Hudson Santa

Kate Hudson Santa

Even though newly single Kate Hudson hasn't shared any photos of her rumored new boyfriend, Dancing with the Stars dancer Derek Hough, she did share a picture as she got in the Christmas spirit with her friend, producer Heather Parry. "We've been bakin," Hudson captioned the picture, as she wears a Santa hat and nibbles on a cookie.

Hudson and her fiancé, Muse rocker Matt Bellamy, recently called off their engagement, shortly before the rumors of she and Hough began circulating. Hudson and Bellamy have a son together, 2-year-old Bingham. Hudson has another son, 10-year-old Ryder, from her marriage to Chris Robinson. Hudson shared a picture of Ryder and revealed that she is a hockey mom.

Kate Hudson hockey mom

Kate Hudson hockey mom

"I guess I'm that embarrassing mom," she captioned the photo, as she sits with her son Ryder, who has his head down. In a series of hash tags, she wrote, "he had to choose goalie" and "tough position."

Busy Philipps

If you need some ideas for your own Elf on the Shelf, you must, I repeat, you must, follow Cougar Town star Busy Philipps. The actress, who has two daughters named Cricket and Birdie, is impressing us with her elf skills.

Busy Philipps elf

Busy Philipps elf

Her two elves had horse races.

Busy Philipps elf 2

Busy Philipps elf 2

They sew Christmas dresses.

Busy Philipps 3

Busy Philipps 3

They also make Gingerbread cookies. These two elves make our elf look pretty darn lazy.

Busy Philipps elf 4

Busy Philipps elf 4

Anna Faris and Chris Pratt

I'm a huge Chris Pratt fan — and it's not just because of this shirtless picture he posted (OK, maybe that is part of it), but the actor and his wife, Mom star Anna Faris, are so stinkin' cute and their son, Jack, is equally as cute.

Chris Pratt

Chris Pratt

The Guardians of the Galaxy star shared this picture as he holds Jack, while the entire family is decked out in Seattle Seahawks jerseys. Swoon.

Jessica Alba

Actress Jessica Alba is feeling the working mom guilt, as she posted this picture of her two daughters, Honor and Haven.

Jessica Alba

Jessica Alba

"Missing these two something terrible. My heart is cracked in half," she captioned the photo using the hash tags "makin movies abroad" and "mom life."

Gisele Bündchen

Well, that's pretty darn adorable. Gisele Bündchen shared this photo of daughter Vivian Lake watching her daddy, New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady, on TV.

Gisele and Vivian

Gisele and Vivian

The supermodel shared another picture of the couple's son, Benjamin, on his fifth birthday. "Happy birthday my little man," she captioned the black and white photo. "You are growing too fast! Thank you for being the sweetest and most loving boy in the world. I love you so much."

Gisele and son

Gisele and son

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FAIL Of The Week: When Elf on the Shelf gets awkward

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1. This can't be hygienic

Fail of the week: Elf on the Shelf 1

Fail of the week: Elf on the Shelf 1

Quincy the Elf better hope no one takes a middle-of-the-night potty break and forgets to turn on the light before letting it go.

2. Beware of the zombie elf-pocalypse

Fail of the week: Elf on the Shelf 2

Fail of the week: Elf on the Shelf 2

In case the weird elf that moves around in the night doesn't creep your kid out, you can always have it being stalked by a walking dead doll.

3. This gives new meaning to the north "pole"

Fail of the week: Elf on the Shelf 3

Fail of the week: Elf on the Shelf 3

Elf Chrissy Snow moonlights as an elf-xotic dancer when she isn't scaring the crap out of children.

 4. On Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and... venison?

Fail of the week: Elf on the Shelf 4

Fail of the week: Elf on the Shelf 4

This Texan elf is a gun-totin' member of the NRA, which we somehow imagine might not sit well with the Rudolph-loving children of the house.

5. Ho-ho-Homer is in the house

Fail of the week: Elf on the Shelf 6

Fail of the week: Elf on the Shelf 6

If the company this Elf on the Shelf keeps is Homer Simpson and a bottle of whiskey, we're pretty sure he is headed straight for Santa's naughty list.

6. Chug, chug, chug... wait, what?

Fail of the week: Elf on the Shelf 7

Fail of the week: Elf on the Shelf 7

This lush little elf enlisted two tropical Barbies to help him with a little binge drinking.

7. Well, this is awkward

Fail of the week: Elf on the Shelf 8

Fail of the week: Elf on the Shelf 8

"You can't expect him to live forever with his sister and the nipple-twisting that goes on there."

8. This is what happens to an elf who is an Oilers fan

Fail of the week: Elf on the Shelf 10

Fail of the week: Elf on the Shelf 10

Oh, Hudson, you can't hit the Crown every time the Oilers lose. That'll earn you a one-way ticket to Elf-aholics Anonymous.

9. We knew there was a flaw in this plan

Fail of the week: Elf on the Shelf 11

Fail of the week: Elf on the Shelf 11

Seriously, who thought this would work out well?

10. This message is brought to you by Nicki Minaj

Fail of the week: Elf on the Shelf 12

Fail of the week: Elf on the Shelf 12

We're not even sure what's going on here, but we're fairly certain it involves an elf, a Barbie orgy and some possible butt implants.

11. Tsk, tsk, tsk

Fail of the week: Elf on the Shelf 13

Fail of the week: Elf on the Shelf 13

Clearly, no one told Carlos that you can catch cellulitis by using improperly sanitized hot tubs.

12. The most interspecies game of spin the bottle, ever

Fail of the week: Elf on the Shelf 14

Fail of the week: Elf on the Shelf 14

The logistics here are kind of confusing, but still... Eeyore seems relieved they aren't playing pin the tail on the donkey.

13. Somebody get this elf a gastroenterologist, stat

Fail of the week: Elf on the Shelf 15

Fail of the week: Elf on the Shelf 15

Fireball really did have some tummy issues. Perhaps he's lactose intolerant.

14. Got milk?

Fail of the week: Elf on the Shelf 16

Fail of the week: Elf on the Shelf 16

Apparently if an Elf on the Shelf uses a breast pump, the byproduct is peppermint. Who knew?

15. Um, eww

Fail of the week: Elf on the Shelf 17

Fail of the week: Elf on the Shelf 17

These parents clearly do not share our irrational germ phobias or gag reflex — we may never eat another chocolate chip again.

16. An elf after our own hearts

Fail of the week: Elf on the Shelf 18

Fail of the week: Elf on the Shelf 18

While this elf is entirely inappropriate for the under 21 set, we sure do feel like we've found a kindred spirit in the little guy.

17. Ole!

Fail of the week: Elf on the Shelf 19

Fail of the week: Elf on the Shelf 19

We're not experts, but this festive fellow appears to be a direct descendant of the piñata.

18. Santa's homicidal little helper

Fail of the week: Elf on the Shelf 20

Fail of the week: Elf on the Shelf 20

Are we seeing this right? Is this elf murdering his marshmallow friends? How are the parents going to explain this diabolical peep show?

19. We feel ya, girlie

Fail of the week: Elf on the Shelf 21

Fail of the week: Elf on the Shelf 21

We're not sure what's more disturbing — that the parents want their little girl to take a picture with an elf while it poops or that they don't think it might be a bit confusing for their daughter to see them pick up poop and eat it. At least she has her priorities straight.

20. Potty humor gone awry

Fail of the week: Elf on the Shelf 22

Fail of the week: Elf on the Shelf 22

Aside from the privacy issues arising out of spying on poor Star while she poops, we're pretty sure the fact that her "peppermint patties" melted may be a cause for alarm.

21. Poor Bob

Fail of the week: Elf on the Shelf 23

Fail of the week: Elf on the Shelf 23

If an elf loses his magic when the kids touch him, what happens when the dog tries to decapitate him?

22. You are so not funny, Ruby the Elf

Fail of the week: Elf on the Shelf 24

Fail of the week: Elf on the Shelf 24

Ruby the Elf should give a little more consideration about where the kid of the house's loyalty lies before she stages an elaborate — and apparently heartbreaking — prank.

23. Option D: This elf business is for the birds

Fail of the week: Elf on the Shelf 25

Fail of the week: Elf on the Shelf 25

Oh, to set a precedence for disappointment at such a young age... Nothing like failing to meet your kids' expectations and crushing their little dreams to kick off the holidays.

24. A different kind of Christmas package

Fail of the week: Elf on the Shelf 26

Fail of the week: Elf on the Shelf 26

This is one present that was not crafted in Santa's workshop, that's for sure.

25. Mr. Tinsel Cane is the stuff nightmares are made of

Fail of the week: Elf on the Shelf 27

Fail of the week: Elf on the Shelf 27

Who has time for cutesy notes about how Santa's watching? These parents went for the terror factor with thinly veiled threats from their inappropriate elf.

26. Elves gone wild

Fail of the week: Elf on the Shelf 28

Fail of the week: Elf on the Shelf 28

Visions of sugar plums are certainly dancing through this elf's head.

27. When Santa's away, the elves will play

Fail of the week: Elf on the Shelf 30

Fail of the week: Elf on the Shelf 30

Well, Christmas tree lights do have an alluring glow about them. Elves need love too, right? Still, these parents better be ready to have the birds-and-bees talk on Christmas morning.

28. We're guessing her name is Candy

Fail of the week: Elf on the Shelf 31

Fail of the week: Elf on the Shelf 31

Points to the naughty parents who devised this R-rated vignette in a way that somehow manages to make objects as mundane as a paper towel holder and a candy cane feel seedy.

29. The Barbie-mobile has been defiled

Fail of the week: Elf on the Shelf 33

Fail of the week: Elf on the Shelf 33

In this crime of passion, Barbie is totally complicit. Next year, they may need to borrow the nativity manger for a forthcoming bundle of Barbie-elvish joy.

30. He who holds the squirt gun is guilty

Fail of the week: Elf on the Shelf 34

Fail of the week: Elf on the Shelf 34

Bratz... Barbie... Tinkerbell? Say it isn't so!

31. Someone's going to be angry in the morning

Fail of the week: Elf on the Shelf 35

Fail of the week: Elf on the Shelf 35

Uh-oh. This naughty little Elf on the Shelf got shave-happy with a set of clippers, and it might earn him a one-way ticket back to the North Pole.

32. Too much?

Fail of the week: Elf on the Shelf 36

Fail of the week: Elf on the Shelf 36

Christmas is a time for R and R. Unless you ask this Christian Grey wannabe elf. If you ask Charlie, Christmas is a time for S and M.

33. Ruby's got 'tude

Fail of the week: Elf on the Shelf 37

Fail of the week: Elf on the Shelf 37

And, well, Ruby's 'tude has turned into poo. In a shoe.

34. Someone's been watching too much Dexter

Fail of the week: Elf on the Shelf 40

Fail of the week: Elf on the Shelf 40

Creepy? Yes. Overboard? Probably. But, admittedly, we've gotta give these parents props for attention to detail in staging Sir Elfington's shenanigans.

35. Break the internet

Fail of the week: Elf on the Shelf 41

Fail of the week: Elf on the Shelf 41

Cheecha the Elf beefed up the holiday spirit this year in true Kim Kardashian fashion.

36. For those who don't enjoy sleep

Fail of the week: Elf on the Shelf 44

Fail of the week: Elf on the Shelf 44

Because, seriously, can you imagine trying to get any shut-eye with this creepy little guy around?

37. This could derail potty training, for sure

Fail of the week: Elf on the Shelf 45

Fail of the week: Elf on the Shelf 45

If the parent in charge of this elf's goal was to scare the shit out of everyone, we'd say mission accomplished.

More funny fails

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Star Wars character names revealed in the most clever way

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First, let's talk about how absolutely cool the way in which J.J. Abrams and Lucasfilm decided to reveal these character names is. The retro look of the images is reminiscent of Topps trading cards; all that's missing is a stick of powdery pink gum to chew on as we stew over the images.

More: 25 Star Wars gifts for your favorite Jedi warriors this Christmas

While there's no evidence that Topps will be actually be releasing trading cards for this, chances are good that if they did, the cards would be snapped up in a heartbeat. The original 1977 Star Wars movie series collection is worth a small fortune now.

But on to what these new images tell us.

Oscar Isaac is Poe Dameron

Poe Dameron

Who is Poe Dameron? Does this X-Wing fighter get his name from the notoriously macabre author Edgar Allen Poe? We want to know more, so much more, about Isaac's character, but it seems we'll have to wait.

The cool rolling droid is called BB-8

BB-8

What else will we learn about this quick-moving droid? Only time will tell. For now, though, hats off to Abrams for creating a droid with instant personality.

Crossbar light-saber man is Kylo Ren

Kylo Ren

It seems obvious from the trailer that this is one of the film's villains — he's introduced as the trailer's narrator mentions the dark side awakening, and his unusual light saber is red. But other than that, much about this character remains a mystery. At least now we have a name to go with that dark shroud.

Daisy Ridley is Rey

Rey

Who is Rey? Why doesn't she have a last name yet? Is it possible that Abrams is saving her surname for a later big reveal? We have no idea, but just look at that determined face as she steers her speeder through the desert. Daisy Ridley's Rey is a woman on a mission.

John Boyega is Finn

John Boyega as Finn

Not all of the fans are responding favorably to the name Finn. It's a name more belonging to classic Americana than sci-fi adventure film. And once again we've got a character without a last name. But that's not all that's mysterious about Boyega's character. For instance, why would a Stormtrooper be on the run? Is he in disguise? We're willing to bet there's a lot more to Finn than meets the eye. Just look at this additional card:

Short Stormtrooper

Doesn't one of those Stormtroopers look a little shorter than the rest?

More: Star Wars — six funniest fan-made spoofs of the new trailer (VIDEOS)

Additional cards

Millenium Falcon

In case the Millennium Falcon's appearance in the trailer wasn't enough for you, you can now study it here in detail. We're not sure why Abrams decided to give it its own trading card, but then again, doesn't Abrams always try to bring mystery to his projects? The X-Wing fighters from the teaser trailer get a card too.

X-Wing Fighter

And if you're wondering if the numbers on the cards mean anything, the answer is yes. Abrams told Entertainment Weekly that the numbers on the cards are significant, but he didn't give any more detail than that. Lost fans are probably slapping their foreheads in consternation at his admission, while others will rush out to play these numbers in the lottery. Knowing Abrams' penchant for puzzles, though, we're pretty sure more clues will eventually be released.

In the meantime, we can watch the trailer for the gazillionth time in excited anticipation.

Images: Lucasfilm Ltd.

Star Wars: The Force Awakens

Star Wars: The Force Awakens

Pinecone cheese ball is the perfect starter for your holiday menu

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pine cone cheeseball

You can make this up to two days ahead of time and just decorate it before you get ready to serve. If you want to keep this vegetarian, then you can skip the bacon and add in some crumbled veggie sausage. Or just omit the meaty ingredients completely, and add in some raisins or other dried fruit or nuts.

Holiday pinecone cheese ball recipe

Inspired by Pinterest

This easy and impressive cheese starter for your holiday feasts will add a touch of the outdoors to your dinner table.

Serves 16

Prep time: 20 minutes | Inactive time: 3 hours | Total time: 3 hours 20 minutes

Ingredients:

For the cheese ball

  • 16 ounces softened cream cheese
  • 1/2 cup freshly grated Parmesan cheese
  • 2-3 tablespoons white wine
  • 6 strips cooked bacon, crumbled
  • 1 teaspoon dried thyme
  • 1 lemon, zested

For garnish

  • Slivered almonds, for decorating
  • Fresh rosemary, as garnish
  • Assorted crackers, for serving

Directions:

  1. In a mixing bowl, combine all the ingredients for the cheese ball.
  2. Using a hand mixer, beat the cheese mixture until smooth and creamy.
  3. Divide the mixture into 1 large oval shape or 2 smaller oval shapes, and place onto waxed paper. Use your hands to shape the cheese into a pinecone shape, and then transfer to plastic wrap.
  4. Gently wrap the pinecones in the plastic wrap, and chill them in the refrigerator for several hours to firm up.
  5. When ready to serve, arrange the pinecones on a serving platter or cheese board, and decorate with the slivered almonds.
  6. Garnish with the fresh rosemary, and serve.

See all our holiday articles

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Brad Pitt wants Rihanna to get a job and stop being so lazy (VIDEO)

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The saying goes, "It's funny 'cause it's true," but we're hoping Pitt was being facetious when he totally roasted Rihanna at her Diamond Ball to benefit her charity the Clara Lionel Foundation.

During Pitt's intro, he basically called the superstar singer lazy, questioned her life choices and beseeched the other stars in the room to help get her on the right track.

More: Rihanna "wanted to kill everybody" when she watched Home

Brad Pitt introduces Rihanna at the Diamond Ball

Brad Pitt introduces Rihanna at the Diamond Ball

"I've often asked the very question that you yourself are asking right now: What the f*** went wrong?" Pitt said, showing the crowd a childhood snapshot of the star. "I give you exhibit A: Yes, look at that young girl before you. All full of hopes and dreams. Living a humble existence in the Barbados parish, her whole life ahead of her.

"And what happened? It's not a pretty story. Like so many others, Rihanna landed on the unforgiving streets of New York at the young age of 16, and soon fell in with a bad crowd — a bad crowd led by the dubious nefarious character known as the Jay Z. For those of you not in the know, the Jay Z was an evil impresario known for churning out hit records, and ripping insane lyrics and fresh beats. Needless to say, it was all downhill from there."

More: Tom Ford just wants one thing — more naked Rihanna

Pitt went on to describe Rihanna's numerous accomplishments, including 13 No. 1 hit singles, 54 million albums sold, seven Grammys, 11 Billboard Awards, 90 million Facebook fans, 40 million Twitter followers and one entry on Time magazine's Most Influential 100 list — and implied it wasn't enough.

"With all the billions of people in the world she's only managed to help a few hundred million or so have a better life… I hate to see such potential squandered," he joked. "I believe it's important that we view tonight not just as a wonderful fundraiser for a great cause, but as an intervention.

"If we don't act quickly and decisively and help this young lady find direction and purpose, I fear this will be Rihanna by this time tomorrow," Pitt continued, showing an fake photo of Rihanna photoshopped into an overweight woman eating junk food on a couch. "I ask that we stand together, by her side, and show her our support and our love and say to her the hard words, 'Rihanna, put down that sandwich, get off your ass and do something. Goddamn it, just do something with your life.'"

It was all very tongue-in-cheek, of course, especially since the "roast" reads more like an incredibly impressive résumé.

More: Rihanna's return to Instagram was not what we were expecting

Rihanna looked absolutely flawless at the event, posting a couple of photos to Instagram to show off her gorgeous gown and stunning necklace.

Rihanna Diamond Ball 1

Rihanna Diamond Ball 1

Rihanna Diamond Ball 2

Rihanna Diamond Ball 2

Awkward! Angelina Jolie's reaction to seeing Amy Pascal is priceless (PHOTO)

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Angelina Jolie bumps into Amy Pascal

Angelina Jolie bumps into Amy Pascal

Jolie and Pascal faced each other while at the Hollywood Reporter Women in Entertainment Power 100 Breakfast on Wednesday, just two days after the incriminating emails were made public.

Pascal and fellow film executive Scott Rudin carried on a heated online conversation in which they made some unfavorable remarks about Jolie, her movie and director David Fincher. Apparently, Jolie wanted the famed director to lead her in a Cleopatra film, but Rudin wanted to use Fincher for his Steve Jobs flick.

More: Angelina Jolie scares kids

"She is upset about us giving [Fincher] Jobs. She wants to talk," Pascal wrote in the now-infamous email conversation. "She'll survive it. I don't want to waste my time on this."

Rudin then got upset and told Pascal to "shut Angie down before she makes it very hard" for them to get Fincher to do the Jobs film.

More: Angelina Jolie gets the royal treatment with major honor

"There is no movie of Cleopatra to be made (and how that is a bad thing given the insanity and rampaging spoiled ego of this woman and the cost of the movie is beyond me)," Pascal continued. "And if you won't tell her that you don't like the script — which, let me remind you she doesn't either — this will just spin even further out into Crazyland but let me tell you I have zero appetite for the indulgence of spoiled brats and I will tell her this myself if you don't."

Then he added, "I'm not destroying my career over a minimally talented spoiled brat who thought nothing of shoving this off her plate for eighteen months so she could go direct a movie." He also called her a "camp event and a celebrity" and said "the last thing anybody needs is to make a giant bomb with her that any fool could see coming."

More: 4 Photos of Angelina Jolie comforting a fan will make your day

Both Pascal and Rudin have each released separate apologies for their comments, saying their remarks were "insensitive" and "inappropriate." However, by the look of Jolie's face in the photo, it looks like she was obviously none too pleased to be called a brat and worse.

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