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Sayreville locker room hazing reportedly had a disturbing sexual element

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When I first learned about one school board's decision to cut an entire football season short to investigate an unspecified hazing incident, there was a lot that wasn't entirely clear to me. I appreciated that the school district was actually taking action, but I had to wonder what it was that could be deemed so heinous that it warranted such drastic measures.

Whatever it was, I decided, it had to be pretty severe. The members of the school board had to have known they would face major backlash for this, so I doubted it was an overreaction. Turns out, it's even worse than I thought.

The description of the hazing over at Nj.com is pretty chilling, and reading it turned my stomach, so I will go ahead and issue a trigger warning here for sexual assault:

"It would start with a howling noise from a senior football player at Sayreville War Memorial High School, and then the locker room lights were abruptly shut off.

In the darkness, a freshman football player would be pinned to the locker room floor, his arms and feet held down by multiple upperclassmen. Then, the victim would be lifted to his feet while a finger was forced into his rectum. Sometimes, the same finger was then shoved into the freshman player’s mouth."

These allegations come from a parent of a player on the team, and if they are true, then this is indeed criminal sexual assault, and I stand by what I originally said, that there is no place for even the appearance of tolerance of this kind of behavior. To ignore it or brush it off or even say, "Eh, we'll figure this out later," and allow the season to go on is to say to everyone else that the sexual assault and humiliation of another player is less important than the outcome of the athletic season. It condones it.

It's also important to address it because, amazingly, we still live in a society that refuses to believe boys can be raped or assaulted and that casts agonizing amounts of shame onto the young men who are. Being rectally penetrated as a joke that you didn't consent to being the punch line in is in no way a normal part of growing up as a teenage boy, and no one should be asked to accept it or to laugh it off.

As you'll recall, the investigation into these hazing incidents has already revealed that they "took place on a pervasive level, on a wide-scale level and at a level in which the players knew, tolerated and in general accepted."

Which of course leaves one question I'd want answered if it were a child of mine on this team: What about the coach? If the harassment was this entrenched in the culture of this particular team, how could the coach not have known about it? If he did, then why did it take a complaint on the part of at least one of the people he was responsible for to get this looked into?

Even with all the information that has come to light, there's still an awful lot that needs to be answered for.

More on bullying

7 Bullying resources for parents
Bullying in schools: What you need to know
How much bullying is really bullying


Make an elegant weeknight meal with seared scallops and bacon Brussels sprouts

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Thought doesn't mean difficult, though. This scallop dish combines Brussels sprouts and bacon for a delicious-tasting meal that is really quite simple to make. There are three steps and three things to cook (the longest of which is getting those Brussels softened up), but the recipe itself couldn't be easier, and in the end you have perfectly seared scallops atop a bed of caramelized Brussels sprouts with salty bacon bits.

Dinner in a pinch can still be gourmet. Scallops are one of the simplest seafood options out there.

Seared scallops with bacon brussels

Seared scallops with bacon Brussels sprouts recipe

Sea scallops are seared in butter and bacon grease to get the perfect caramelized exterior and served on top of Brussels sprouts with salty bacon bits.

Serves 4

Prep time: 5 minutes | Cook time: 30 minutes | Total time: 35 minutes

Ingredients:

  • 1 pound sea scallops, rinsed and pat dry
  • 4 slices bacon
  • 1-1/2 pounds Brussels sprouts, trimmed and sliced in half lengthwise
  • 1/2 cup chicken broth
  • 2 tablespoons butter, divided
  • Salt and pepper

Directions:

  1. Heat a large skillet over medium-high heat.
  2. Add the bacon, cook until crispy, and then set aside on a paper towel to drain. Reserve the bacon grease in a small bowl.
  3. Return the skillet to the heat, and add 1 tablespoon of the butter and the chicken broth. Scrape up any brown bits on the bottom of the pan, add the Brussels sprouts, cover, and cook for 5 minutes.
  4. Remove the cover, and continue cooking another 7 to 10 minutes, until the liquid has cooked off and the Brussels sprouts start to turn golden brown on the bottom.
  5. Transfer the Brussels sprouts to a serving bowl, and set aside.
  6. Season the scallops with salt and pepper.
  7. Add the bacon grease back to the skillet along with the remaining tablespoon of butter. Once the butter has melted, place the scallops into the skillet, and cook for about 3 to 5 minutes per side until golden brown and crispy.
  8. Place the cooked scallops on top of the Brussels sprouts in the bowl, chop the bacon, sprinkle it on top, and serve.

More scallop recipes

Baked scallops with cheese
Peach bourbon BBQ scallops

No-fuss 10-minute scallops with Champagne sauce

George Clooney buys something only the mega-rich can dream of

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The previous owner, London banker Omar Bayoumi wasn't able to offer much information on the buyer, but he did confirm his property was sold recently.

Bill Murray's presence was the only wedding gift George Clooney got

A town resident couldn't keep his mouth shut though. @dan_bcfc tweeted, "George Clooney has bought a house in my village and was drinking in my local last night. We're going to become best mates." The attention must have been too much for the loose-lipped tweeter because he locked his account from prying eyes.

Clooney is familiar with the area after shooting The Monuments Men in Fingest last June. The property is located on four acres and was built in the 17th century. It has nine bedrooms, a gym with a steam room, a boathouse, a library and even formal gardens that lead to the water.

The townspeople are excited to have celebrities move in the area. They are even thinking about Clooney and Alamuddin's children if they expand their family.

Brad Pitt says he's more of a loner than George Clooney

Marisol Frost told the U.K. publication, "It's nice that he has chosen Sonning and we will make them very welcome. The primary school is also very good — if they decided to have any children."

There are even quaint activities to do in town.

Sarah Hele shared, "We have the village show every year and the Scarecrow hunt every two years. The village rounders match is also great fun and the schoolchildren do a lovely nativity play in the local church. We are a small, friendly community where people get involved. It's a great place."

Now that Clooney has taken care of the wedding and the humble abode, when will the baby-bump watch begin?

Demi Lovato has a few choice words about Nick Jonas' package

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But he one-upped that photo earlier this week when he continued his annual trend of making our jaws drop with his new photo shoot for Flaunt magazine. However, there's one female he's not winning over with his abtastic new photos and that's his friend and collaborator Demi Lovato.

Nick Jonas tweets (very buff) picture of his abs

Asked about what she thinks of his Calvin Klein-esque photo shoot, the former Disney starlet threw a playful jab at the JoBro. "He looks really buff and he looks awesome, but he needs to keep that s*** in his pants," she laughingly told Access Hollywood. "I don't want to see that." We're going to go out on a limb and say that Demi is probably in the minority of women that feel this way.

For those that don't know, Lovato and Jonas are longtime friends and collaborators. Not only did the JoBro serve as musical and creative director for Lovato's Neon Lights tour, but he also recorded a song with the starlet called "Avalanche," which will reportedly be featured on the Dec. 2 re-release of her self-titled album Demi. It's just one of the two duets that the duo have worked on.

Nick Jonas' shirtless pics proves two things: He's hot and society's biased

During a recent chat with MTV News, she said, "I came to the studio, heard his new music and was obsessed, and then it just evolved into this song that we recorded together on one microphone at the same time and it was very stripped down, very acoustic and it was a song called 'Afterglow.'"

Nick Jonas' "Jealous" video is so odd, but we can't look away


Do you agree or disagree with Demi's playful thoughts on Nick's photo shoot? Tell us in the comments below.

Thanks, but we don't need a video to teach us how to drink whiskey

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Photo credit: YouTube, @Buzzfeedvideo

They guzzle the Jack Daniels, it burns their throats and we're all supposed to collectively giggle because... wait for it... girls can't handle their manly booze.

I guess the video's producers have never had the pleasure of attending a decent December NFL tailgate. Or any bar in Dayton, Ohio for that matter. I'm pretty sure we ladies caught the word on Jack Daniels shortly after Boardwalk Empire times.

So, thanks ever so much Buzzfeed for helping us — the chick collective — expand our palate to the drink of choice of the angriest dude at the bar. But maybe you could help us reach a little farther than for a cheap shot.

Maybe you could help us figure out how to race cars

Photo credit: YouTube, @ABC News

Or, how to throw a fastball...

Photo credit: YouTube, @The Answer 3

Or how to sell out stadiums?

Queen Bey

Photo credit: Crasstalk.com

And while you're at it, got any tips on how to make it all the way to the Supreme Court?

Notorious RBG

Photo credit: 38.media.tumblr.com

Or, maybe, outer space?

Outter space

Photo credit: YouTube, @psypad

So thanks, Buzzfeed, for showing all us ladies what whiskey is all about. I don't know about you, but after all that I need a drink.

will and grace

Photo credit: Tumblr

Cheers!

Buzzfeed video "Women Drinking Whiskey for the First Time"

Women Drink Whiskey

Women Drink Whiskey

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Ashton Kutcher introduces his other baby

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Kutcher made his first public appearance since the birth of his daughter Wyatt, and the actor didn't hold back from cracking the baby jokes.

Ryan Gosling and Eva Mendes give their baby girl a sweet nickname

"I'm excited to be here to introduce my other new baby, the Yoga 2," Kutcher said of his latest tech venture.

Lenovo's Yoga 2 Pro is a new tablet that boasts a built-in 50-inch projector. Kutcher signed up as a product engineer about a year ago in the new venture with Lenovo.

Kutcher didn't just introduce the tablet. He, of course, threw in some witty remarks about being a new dad. "My kid is only eight days old, she's not quite reading yet, but when she gets there, I'm sure I'm going to be projecting bedtime stories all the time," Kutcher commented after introducing the new product.

Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher planning a post-baby wedding

Kutcher and his fiancé Mila Kunis welcomed baby Wyatt on Sept. 30.

Now that the couple is adjusting to family life, their next big adventure seems to be planning a wedding.

"I never wanted to get married," Kunis admitted during a recent interview with W magazine. "From the age of 12, I prepared my parents for no marriage. Then things changed — I found the love of my life. Now my theory on weddings is: Don't invite anyone. Do it privately and secretly. My parents are OK with that. They're just excited that I said yes."

Celeb bump day: Mila Kunis, Kourtney Kardashian, Scarlett Johansson, Xtina

Kunis and Kutcher initially met back in 1998 on That '70s Show, but the two didn't officially get together until summer 2012. Though the couple has been notably private about their relationship, a source close to the two did tell Us Weekly that Kutcher "always had a thing for her."

Gina Neely's tips for sneaking veggies into weeknight meals (VIDEO)

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Partnering with Green Giant for its Fresh Take on What to Make campaign, Gina has been passionate about healthy eating ever since losing weight last year. Although originally known for Southern-style cooking show Down Home with the Neelys, the soon-to-be-divorced Food Network star now opts for a healthy salad, roasted salmon and sweet potato as her go-to dinner. Speaking with SheKnows exclusively about the difficulty of creating easy, vegetable-heavy weeknight meals, Gina shares her top 5 tips for sneaking in veggies.

  1. Watch the exclusive Mom vs. Food video above, in which Gina discusses what you should always have on hand to make easy weeknight meals.
  2. Let kids participate in the cooking process, which makes food more fun for them. Have them pick out a new vegetable to try in the store or decide which veggies should go on top of a gourmet pizza.
  3. To make a new meal out of leftovers, keep chicken broth, canned green beans and peas in your pantry and some carrots on hand. Then simply throw it all into a pot, and make soup.
  4. If you have only 15 minutes, then make whole-wheat pasta, and have the kids pick out the veggies to add (like spinach and cherry tomatoes). Then sprinkle with minced garlic for flavor.
  5. Always have a few go-to recipes and the ingredients to make them. In the recipe below, you can use Green Giant Steamers to add veggies to individual pot pies.

Gina Neely Chicken Pot Pies

Photo credit: Green Giant

Gina's quick 'n' easy chicken pot pies recipe

These individual-sized chicken pot pies are easy to throw together for a quick dinner.

Serves 5

Prep time: 5 minutes | Bake time: 12-15 minutes | Total time: 17-20 minutes

Ingredients:

  • 1 (10.2 ounce) can Pillsbury Grands Homestyle Buttermilk Biscuits (5 count)
  • 1 (12 ounce) package Green Giant Steamers broccoli, carrots, cauliflower and cheese sauce
  • 2 cups cooked chicken, chopped
  • 2 tablespoons chicken broth
  • 1/4 cup shredded Parmesan cheese

Directions:

  1. Heat the oven to 375 degrees F. Microwave the vegetables as directed on the package.
  2. Meanwhile, roll out each biscuit into a 5-inch circle. Press 1 biscuit into each cup of a 6-cup jumbo muffin pan, overlapping the top edge of pan.
  3. Divide the chicken equally into the biscuit-lined cups. Top each cup with the vegetable mixture. Sprinkle each with Parmesan cheese.
  4. Bake for 12 to 15 minutes or until golden brown. Loosen the edges with a metal spatula to remove the pot pies from the pan.

More healthy weeknight meals

Miniature macaroni and cheese cups
Spicy enchilada quinoa casserole

Steel-cut oat bean chili

I'm tired of Halloween becoming a teen skankfest

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When I was a kid, we used to scour the closet to create Halloween costumes that were creative and fun. Nowadays, and I'm guilty of it as well, parents automatically go to the party store to find a ready-made getup for their kids... and the pickins are getting a little sexy for my comfort zone. While I admit that regardless of my child's age, I'm ultimately responsible for what they wear, the options for sexy Halloween costumes all the way down to the grade school size are frightening. And, I think it's sending girls the wrong message.

Here are a few costumes my daughter won't be wearing.

Girls' flirty Harley Quinn costume

Flirty Harley Quinn costume | Sheknows.com

At first I thought I had got it wrong and it was actually for adults. But it only comes in junior sizes and is even called a teen costume on another site. I wouldn't even wear this, let alone my daughter at any age. (Party City, $45)

Teen size Troop 10/31 Girl Scout costume

Girl scout costume | Sheknows.com

I'm sure the Girl Scouts organization hasn't approved this cringe-worthy costume for teens; and frankly, I think they should petition for it to be pulled from the shelves. This sexy Halloween costume is at least two steps backwards in the message parents are trying to send girls by participating in the Girl Scouts. Shame on you, costume makers. (Candy Apple Costumes, $40)

Major Flirt girls costume

Major Flirt costume | Sheknows.com

So wrong on so many levels, trivializing the women who serve our country with a sexy Halloween costume is bad enough, but to make it a child's size and call it "Major Flirt?" It makes me want to hurl. (Spirit Halloween, $25)

Disco dress hot pink girl's costume

Disco Dress costume | Sheknows.com

Oriental Trading Company, I'm so disappointed in you. Not only are you proving the point that this outfit doesn't belong on a child by putting the model in heels that are too big for her, you layered fishnets under the too-short dress. I may be boycotting your oh-so-affordable merchandise from now out of pure disappointment. (Oriental Trading, $29)

Let me clarify that I don't think anyone deserves to be raped or assaulted, regardless of what she is wearing. And, I admit I've bought my share of sexy Halloween costumes, too, but never wore them around my kids. Yet, with so much talk of sexism and rape, why is it that when Halloween rolls around parents are letting girls wear as little as possible and sending them out to walk the neighborhood?

Ultimately, it's the parents we should be blaming for buying girls these short skirts and suggestive sexy Halloween costumes. Parents, stop letting your daughters dress like floozies, even if it is just one night a year. Instead teach your kids that you can have fun and be creative on Halloween without leaving little to the imagination. If they're taught to respect their bodies year-round then maybe they'll have a better chance of not becoming a victim of rape long after the candy has been put away. I'm tired of Halloween becoming a teen skankfest.

Read more Halloween tips

Gender-bending Halloween costumes
Halloween safety tips for parents
Halloween survival guide for moms of toddlers


The 8 best quotes from Amanda Bynes this week alone

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Amanda Bynes has a great excuse for shoplifting

Since getting busted for a DUI in Sherman Oaks, California, nearly two weeks ago, there have been countless stories in the media about Bynes, some of which include the rumor that she's been kicked out of fashion school and she's engaged and planning her wedding to a 19-year-old bait shop worker from Costa Mesa, California. Oh, and she was also caught shoplifting in upscale department store, Barneys, on Madison Avenue in New York City.

Wait, what? Amanda Bynes is engaged?

However, Bynes realizes she's now the talk of the town and since reactivating her official Twitter account, @amandabynes, on Tuesday, Oct. 7, the Hairspray actress has used social media as a tool to not only refute rumors, but also to make some bizarre claims and threaten to sue everyone who publishes "lies" about her.

Here are the eight best quotes from Bynes this week (so far): 

1. The tabloids dislike her and just want to insult her every day

Amanda Bynes Twitter 8

Amanda Bynes Twitter 8

2. The truth will set you free — um, what truth could that be?

Amanda Bynes Twitter 7

Amanda Bynes Twitter 7

3. She hates stalkers!

Amanda Bynes Twitter 3

Amanda Bynes Twitter 3

4. She's not insane and In Touch Weekly has been lying about her entirely

Amanda Bynes secret Twitter 2

Amanda Bynes secret Twitter 2

5. But she is getting married and she and her beau will be on the cover of People magazine

Amanda Bynes Twitter

Amanda Bynes Twitter

6. C'mon, people, she's actually really smart

Amanda Bynes Twitter 4

Amanda Bynes Twitter 4

7. She's hired the best lawyer in New York City to sue any tabloids who cross her

Amanda Bynes Twitter 5

Amanda Bynes Twitter 5

8. She's literally never given any magazine a quote — what, ever?

Amanda Bynes Twitter 6

Amanda Bynes Twitter 6

Split personalities? Amanda Bynes' original Twitter is back

And while we've loved reading Amanda Bynes' Twitter updates, don't even get us started on her suspected secret Twitter account, @PersianLa27. There are more bizarre quotes there than we care to mention!

9 Things to know about Nobel Prize-winning writer, Patrick Modiano

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Unlike the Pulitzer, given for a single work, the Nobel Prize is given in recognition of a lifetime of writing. Now 69, Modiano has had some time to work up a nice catalog, even though he was originally something of an overnight success. We'll get to that later ...

As the winner of the highly coveted Nobel honor, Modiano receives $1.1 million and a metaphorical pat on the back. (It's a very expensive way to say, "Nice work, buddy!") As mentioned, although Modiano is well known in France, his appeal has yet to spread much further than that.

Food and wine lovers guide to Northern France

In honor of the newly crowned king of the literary world, here's a little roundup of things you need to know about 2014's Nobel Prize in Literature winner.

1. He's French

Yeah, that's an obvious one. Still, I'll say it again: Modiano is French. He was born in a Paris suburb in 1945 as the country recovered from World War II. He is the 15th French author to receive this award.

2. He was an overnight French success

Modiano first rose to prominence in 1968 with his novel, La Place de l'Étoile, but he wasn't finished. In 1978, he received the Prix Goncourt, one of France's most prized literary awards, for his novel, Missing Person.

Obama wins Nobel Peace Prize

3. He's multitalented

He's written books, screenplays and even children's books.

4. He's sort of obsessed with World War II

As a child, Modiano had to watch his country struggle to survive after the Nazi disaster. The experience stuck with him, as many of his fictional works take place in Paris during World War II. Anne Ghisoli, the director of Librairie Gallimard (a leading Paris bookstore) calls him "a chronicler of Paris, its streets, its past and its present."

5. He likes playing detective

Modiano has a thing for mystery. A couple examples: Missing Person is about an amnesiac detective who travels the world trying to piece together his identity, Dora Bruder investigates the disappearance of a young Jewish girl in 1941 and Out of the Dark follows a narrator who pines after a former lover who mysteriously denies that their affair ever took place.

Photo guide to Bordeaux

6. He gets to the point

His books are usually less than 200 pages.

7. He's modest

He's not one for public events and, even though he says he's happy he received the Nobel Prize, he thinks it's "bizarre."

8. He mixes fiction with fact

According to the French newspaper, Le Monde, Modiano's most recent release, So That You Don't Get Lost in the Neighborhood, is "a deeply personal work that takes readers into the writer's psyche as he tries to decipher the mysteries of his past and dissect his memories." Raised in such a tumultuous era, I'm sure Modiano has a lot of dissecting to do.

9. He's one of those "troubled artists"

No matter his success, Modiano still sees himself as a failure. In 2012, he told Le Figaro,  "The feeling of dissatisfaction with every book remains just as alive. I had a longtime recurring dream: I dreamt that I had nothing left to write, that I was liberated. I am not, alas, I am still trying to clear the same terrain, with the feeling that I'll never get done."

More reading

Top 5 literary tours around the country
Father of in-vitro fertilization wins Nobel Prize in Medicine
Bono receives France's highest culture award

Tula baby carrier ad features same-sex couple

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To continue celebrating International Babywearing Week, Tula, a popular baby carrier brand, posted a photo of two dads and their sweet little cherub in one of its carriers, along with the words, "Love is love."

Tula baby wearing inclusive ad

Tula baby wearing inclusive ad

Some customers said the company shouldn't push its "political agenda" and that they'd never wear a Tula again. But that's what I fail to understand. When a company goes out of its way to include its diverse customer base, it's a good thing. Another argument I read is that those who support same-sex couples should let those who oppose them have their way and their say — after all, isn't free speech a guaranteed right in this country? But the problem there is that discrimination based on sexual orientation is wrong. It's just wrong.

Fortunately there were plenty of supportive comments as well as notes and photos of other same-sex partners with their little ones.

Christine Kangas writes, "This might be the best thing I've ever seen in my news feed from a company. Thank you, TULA Baby Carriers."

From Bianca Bosch: "Just found out our marriage will be recognized as of today in our state of SC!!!!! Need a tula to celebrate!"

Jennifer Clasey Mitchell notes, "I love that you show ALL types of families!!"

Rose McAfee says, "Just got my first Tula the other day for my sling library...but my wife loves it too much...will definitely be buying more from you guys. You support my family...I want to support your company."

And for those who are tossing their Tulas aside? Holly Cutroneo has this to say, and I'm sure many feel the same: "If you don't want your tula anymore because you are a closed minded bigot, I know a place that would be happy to save you from your carrier."

I fail to see how what someone's family consists of affects anyone else (except helping those who have not come out yet feel more supported). Recognizing a same-sex union won't turn the whole country gay — it just affords homosexual couples the same rights as their heterosexual peers. If a child has two moms or two dads, it just means that child is loved, just like yours is. Good for Tula for including a two-dad family. While this shows we're making progress, we still have a long, long way to go. Hopefully someday we will get there.

More on same-sex parenting

California high school students nominate a same-sex couple as homecoming queens
Talking to your kids about same-sex families
My kindergartner has two moms

Elevate your Rice Krispies Treats with pumpkin spice and browned butter

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To give these treats a taste of fall, I threw in a little pumpkin pie spice seasoning, and instead of just melted butter, I used browned butter. It brings a nice, nutty flavor to just about any dish, but it's my favorite when used in desserts. These are the perfect fall treat.

Browned butter pumpkin spice Rice Krispie treats

Browned butter pumpkin spice Rice Krispies Treats recipe

These sweet, pumpkin pie-spiced, jazzed-up Rice Krispies Treats are the perfect way to welcome fall. Plus, the addition of browned butter takes this simple treat and elevates it to a whole new level.

Yields 1 (9 x 13-inch) dish

Prep time: 5 minutes | Cook time: 10 minutes | Inactive time: 30 minutes | Total time: 45 minutes

Ingredients:

  • 4 tablespoons unsalted butter
  • 4 cups mini marshmallows
  • 2 teaspoons pumpkin pie spice
  • 6 cups Rice Krispies cereal

Directions:

  1. Spray a 9 x 13-inch dish with nonstick cooking spray. You can also line the dish with parchment paper if you prefer.
  2. Set a large, nonstick skillet over medium heat, and add the butter. Let the butter melt, and cook until it's slightly browned. You will know it's been browned when it starts to smell nutty.
  3. Pour in the marshmallows, and turn down the heat to low. Stir until the marshmallows melt and the mixture is smooth.
  4. Remove from the heat, and stir in the pumpkin pie spice.
  5. Pour the mixture into the cereal, and stir to coat.
  6. Press the cereal mixture into your prepared dish.
  7. Let the bars sit until set, about 30 minutes.

More Rice Krispies Treats

Christmas coal
4th of July layered Rice Krispies Treats

Earth-shaped Rice Krispies Treats

How to make adorable pumpkins out of buttons

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After a long hot summer, there's finally a nip in the air and that can only mean one thing — it's time to dig out our fall decor and start celebrating the change of seasons. Creating this adorable pumpkin button craft with your child is the perfect way to usher in the cooler weather. While many of those school art projects ultimately end up in the recycling bin, this is one piece of art that you'll never want to part with.

Supplies:

Button pumpkin | Sheknows.com - supplies

  • 1 (8 x 8 inch minimum) blank canvas or thin canvas board
  • Cream acrylic paint (We used Martha Stewart Craft Paint in Porcelain Doll)
  • Orange and brown buttons
  • Craft glue
  • Grosgrain ribbon in taupe
  • Ruler
  • Pencil
  • Scissors

Directions:

1. Paint the canvas

Button pumpkin | Sheknows.com - paint canvas

Have your child paint the canvas with the acrylic paint and allow it to dry thoroughly. (Apply two coats if necessary, allowing to dry fully between coats.) Measure and cut 4 (10 inch) pieces of ribbon and set aside.

2. Outline pumpkin

Button pumpkin | Sheknows.com - draw pumpkin

Lightly freehand draw or trace a pumpkin shape onto the canvas with a pencil.

3. Lay out buttons

Button pumpkin | Sheknows.com - layout buttons

Have your child use buttons to lay out a wreath pattern that completely covers the light pencil mark. (Orange for the pumpkin, brown for the stem.)

4. Glue the first layer

Button pumpkin | Sheknows.com - glue buttons

Apply glue to the back of each button and place, glue side down, onto the canvas.

5. Add more buttons

Button pumpkin | Sheknows.com - add more buttons

Once you have glued down the first layer of buttons, go back through and add smaller buttons where you have bare spots to fill the pumpkin in.

6. Glue on the ribbon

Button pumpkin | Sheknows.com - apply glue to ribbon

Place ribbon on the canvas, gluing it down as you go.

Button pumpkin | Sheknows.com - Attach ribbon

Wrap ribbon over the edge of the canvas and secure it to the back with glue.

7. Display and enjoy

Button pumpkin | Sheknows.com - Final display

Allow buttons and ribbon to dry fully before placing upright.

More fall fun

Gobble gobble: Make a paper tube turkey craft
3 Wacky pumpkin crafts for kids
Thanksgiving crafts: Gratitude garland

Dear dad at the grocery store: Stop making me look bad

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If you're a mom, you get it. We have eleventy-billion things to get accomplished every day before the witching hour, when all the people want all the food. So that's about where my head was last week when I ran into the grocery store to grab a few things before picking my daughter up from soccer. I was in auto-pilot mode — which is way easier now that I don't have small ones asking me questions like why the cauliflower isn't a soccer ball and what the heck is broccolini.

Then somewhere on aisle four, between the shredded cheese and the pickled beets, I first heard this dude. "Ooh, hey! Let's pretend we're on an African safari and let's hunt for lions!" he belted out to the two little ones hanging on to his cart. His "fun" voice sounded nothing like the voice I use when trying to get my kids through the grocery store. His was charming. Witty. Like the voice of someone who has potentially used a wee bit of Nyquil. "Come on kids! Let's go get some meat for the lions!" he bellowed. Ugh.

Not wanting to engage them at all (because, I'm on a mission), I pushed my cart past them with hardly a glance at the dad. He seemed normal enough, but he was so fun. I felt irritated. Then irritated at myself for feeling irritated. Honestly, why do I care that this dad might be more fun than I have ever been on a grocery store run? How does it really affect my role as a mom if Dad seems more fun?

I get it — dads are more involved in the caretaking of their kids than ever before. A study from the Centers for Disease Control (CDC) published in December 2013, involving nearly 4,000 fathers aged 15 to 44, suggests that modern-day dads are quite involved in their kids' lives. University of Chicago sociologist Jennifer Bellamy studies fathering, and shares that even now, the old stereotypes persist, "that dads are sort of the co-pilots in their families," and that they are absent or less involved than moms. Bellamy shares that this survey shows that fathers "are quite involved in a variety of different and important ways." So it's great that moms of this generation have a more hands-on dad to share the parenting load. We just don't want him to be the fun parent all the time.

As I continued through the store, I could hear them off in the distance. The kids were working up to a pretty excited stage, usually reserved for the playground (or birthday parties with lots of sugar). His enthusiasm was having the desired effect — by damn, he was fun. As I rounded the corner near the juice boxes, I heard him whipping up the troops to choose their favorite flavor.

And it was at this moment that I happened to catch his eye.

He didn't look extra fun or jolly or like he even knew what he was doing. He looked petrified. Like his relatively short playlist of fun distractions ran out an aisle or two ago. And he still had to make it through the chip and cracker aisle and over to produce. I gave him a half-smirk and a slight nod, as if to say, I could have told you not to do it.

He was screwed. And he knew it.

And suddenly, I wasn't worried anymore. We're all in this boat together, people.

More on dads

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Anne Hathaway can't handle the hate

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Anne Hathaway says fame really messed with her head

In a recent interview with Harper's Bazaar, Hathaway revealed the details of when she found out that "Hathahate" is a real thing. During a self-googling session while doing research for an upcoming Funny or Die skit, the actress came across an article that asked "Why does everyone hate Anne Hathaway?" and admits the information came as a shock.

"Punched in the gut," Hathaway said of the way she felt upon reading the article. "Shocked and slapped and embarrassed. Even now I can feel the shame."

And just when you think you can begin to feel a bit of sympathy for her, she finishes the statement with, "I was in crisis. Now I'd be fine, I really would be. I'd let it roll off my back, but at the time I was still partly Fantine. I was still identifying with being the victim." With that comment, we're reminded why people began to dislike Hathaway in the first place. It's not that her acting is the problem — in fact, she's fantastic. It's that her public persona lacks authenticity. We already know she's a hugely famous actress, she doesn't have to reiterate the point. By drawing attention to the fact that she is an artiste, she alienates herself from her audience and is less relatable to us normal people.

There's also the fact that she's enormously unaware of when exactly the public started to turn on her. She seems to think it happened during the 2013 awards season, when she was nominated for numerous awards for her performance in Les Misérables, and she cites a red carpet dress mishap, along with a botched acceptance speech, as the beginning of the end. "While everyone was still getting on stage, I spoke. I should have gone after everyone else," she said of jumping on the mic when the entire cast of Les Mis won the Golden Globe for Best Motion Picture — Comedy or Musical. "I own that; it was rude. People saw that as grabby, I guess. I don't know."

James Franco fires back at Oscars critics

While the 2013 Oscars certainly didn't help Hathaway's image, people began to see her as self-involved well before that night. The 2011 Oscars, which Hathaway cohosted with James Franco, might actually be a more accurate point in time in which Hathahate was born.

Anne Hathaway and James Franco host the Oscars

Anne Hathaway and James Franco host the Oscars

Franco and Hathaway's turn as Oscars hosts was panned by critics and lay audiences alike. Word that a feud had sparked between Franco and Hathaway spread like wildfire. People even began to speculate that Franco became so annoyed with Hathaway's pretentiousness during the show that he was actually trying to bomb both of their performances just to mess with her.

And though many are convinced that thinking of Hathaway as a genuine human is impossible, she reveals that there are actually specific reasons for her behavior. She admits she was "weirdly presentational" when she won the award for Best Supporting Actress. "One of the things I've been accused of is being inauthentic. And they were right — but not for the reason they thought." According to Hathaway, she's terrified of addressing crowds. "I really struggle with it — it makes me incredibly anxious," she said. "People treated me a certain way. But I've grown from it. This whole thing has made me a way more compassionate and loving person. And I don't feel sorry for myself."


Girls' guide to relationship texts: What to say and when to say it

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If I addressed it all right now, you would be reading a book. For now, here are a few dating scenarios and how you should respond... over text.

Situation #1: You had a great first date and want a second

Response: "Thank you so much for last night. Your upcoming trip to Bali sounds like a blast. Before you go out there and get caffeinated by arguably the best coffee on Earth, I would love to see you again."

Why: Men are like dogs (in a very good way), they need to be rewarded for good behavior. He took you out and paid (yes, he paid... and you didn't even offer to go dutch, because you are the woman), show some gratitude. Texting him after lets him know that he did a great job. Then bring up something brief that you talked about, so that he can relive a fun part of the date for a moment. Finally, let him know that you would love to see him again. Men are just as insecure as women and get nervous about asking us out if they aren't sure that we will accept. Don't make him sweat it. Let him know you're interested. But don't ask him when he is available. He is the man. Let him take the next initiative and ask you out.

Situation #2: You're regretting a drunk make out session

Response: "Last night was, honestly, a bit of a blur. I'm sorry. Definitely didn't mean to lose control like that. I hope you aren't too hungover and are able to have a great day and a fantastic rest of your week."

Why: You don't want to put him down. But you do want to acknowledge that it was a mistake. Wishing him a great week is saying that you won't be talking to him again that week. It's a gentle brush-off.

Situation #3: You kissed a good guy friend

Response: "Well that was totally unexpected! Enjoyable, but unexpected. I hope our moment of extra closeness doesn't put a damper on our friendship. You're fantastic and I don't want to lose you as my friend."

Why: You are both feeling a little awkward and maybe wondering if that kiss meant something more than just a momentary slip of the tongue. Don't be sarcastic or dismissive, but do let him know that, while it was nice, you hope you can still be friends.

Situation #4: You just met his friends or family for the first time

Response: "Thanks for inviting me to dinner last night with your friends/family. Your dad/buddy is hysterical. I really enjoyed talking to him. Gave me a little more insight into you too, which was nice."

Why: Meeting the friends or family is a step forward in your relationship. Let him know that you enjoyed it, comment on the fact that you connected with one of them, then bring it back to him.

Situation #5: You had first-time sex with your new guy

Response: "Thanks for coming last night. Really enjoyed having you in my bed. Already looking forward to next time... "

Why: Be a little sexy. Not slutty or pornographic. Just sexy. Let him know that you enjoyed it and that you want more.

Photo credit: Hero Images/Getty Images

Girls' guide to relationships texts: What to say and when to say it

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If I addressed it all right now, you would be reading a book. For now, here are a few dating scenarios and how you should respond... over text.

Situation #1: You had a great first date and want a second

Response: "Thank you so much for last night. Your upcoming trip to Bali sounds like a blast. Before you go out there and get caffeinated by arguably the best coffee on Earth, I would love to see you again."

Why: Men are like dogs (in a very good way), they need to be rewarded for good behavior. He took you out and paid (yes, he paid... and you didn't even offer to go dutch, because you are the woman), show some gratitude. Texting him after lets him know that he did a great job. Then bring up something brief that you talked about, so that he can relive a fun part of the date for a moment. Finally, let him know that you would love to see him again. Men are just as insecure as women and get nervous about asking us out if they aren't sure that we will accept. Don't make him sweat it. Let him know you're interested. But don't ask him when he is available. He is the man. Let him take the next initiative and ask you out.

Situation #2: You're regretting a drunk make out session

Response: "Last night was, honestly, a bit of a blur. I'm sorry. Definitely didn't mean to lose control like that. I hope you aren't too hungover and are able to have a great day and a fantastic rest of your week."

Why: You don't want to put him down. But you do want to acknowledge that it was a mistake. Wishing him a great week is saying that you won't be talking to him again that week. It's a gentle brush-off.

Situation #3: You kissed a good guy friend

Response: "Well that was totally unexpected! Enjoyable, but unexpected. I hope our moment of extra closeness doesn't put a damper on our friendship. You're fantastic and I don't want to lose you as my friend."

Why: You are both feeling a little awkward and maybe wondering if that kiss meant something more than just a momentary slip of the tongue. Don't be sarcastic or dismissive, but do let him know that, while it was nice, you hope you can still be friends.

Situation #4: You just met his friends or family for the first time

Response: "Thanks for inviting me to dinner last night with your friends/family. Your dad/buddy is hysterical. I really enjoyed talking to him. Gave me a little more insight into you too, which was nice."

Why: Meeting the friends or family is a step forward in your relationship. Let him know that you enjoyed it, comment on the fact that you connected with one of them, then bring it back to him.

Situation #5: You had first-time sex with your new guy

Response: "Thanks for coming last night. Really enjoyed having you in my bed. Already looking forward to next time... "

Why: Be a little sexy. Not slutty or pornographic. Just sexy. Let him know that you enjoyed it and that you want more.

Photo credit: Hero Images/Getty Images

32 Uses for dish soap that you probably haven't thought of

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Cleaning

  • Mopping — Add a few drops of dish soap to a bucket of water and your floors will sparkle.
  • Surface cleaning — You don't need special cleaning solutions for your countertops and walls. Just add a few drops of dish soap to warm water and scrub them clean.
  • Stainless steel — Stainless steel cleaner is so expensive (and unnecessary). Use water and dish soap to clean your appliances, being careful to wipe with the grain. Green Works is a great soap to keep things natural and gentle. If you think it needs a little something extra, polish with baby oil and a paper towel.
  • Appliances — The rest of your appliances, both large and small, can also benefit from a simple wipe down with dish soap and water.
  • Cabinets — Cabinets are hard to clean. Not only does your kitchen probably have a ton of them, but they get dirty. Grease and spills from your kitchen tend to stick to the wood, covering them in a nasty film. Thankfully, there's no better grease fighter than dish soap, so a few drops of this in a bucket of hot water should do the trick.
  • Marble and granite — Most people think natural stone is hard to clean, because expensive cleaners to tend to build up and leave a haze behind. Stop overthinking it and use a simple solution of dish soap and water to leave the surface clean and clear — no haze required.
  • Windows — You don't need window cleaner to get streak-free windows. Just mix up some water and dish soap and wipe away the dirt and fingerprints.
  • Clean the bathroom — Save some elbow grease the next time you clean your bathroom. Pour equal parts of dish soap and white vinegar into a spray bottle and shake to mix. Spray the mixture on your bathtub, sink and toilet, and let it sit. Rinse away after about 15 minutes and your surfaces will be clean — no scrubbing needed.
  • Clean soap scum — Pour dish soap on soap scum and let it sit overnight. In the morning, wash it away and soap scum will wipe away with it.
  • Lubricant — Fix a squeaky door by using dish soap to lubricate the hinges.

Laundry

  • Grease stains — That shirt is not ruined forever. Just rub the spot with dish soap and let it sit overnight before washing as you normally would.
  • Wash delicates — Use a tablespoon of dish soap in a sink of warm water to hand wash delicate clothing.

Beauty

  • Manicures — Natural oils stick to your fingernails, making it hard for your nail polish to stick. That shortens the life of your manicure, no matter how expensive that polish is. Mix a drop of dish soap in a bowl of warm water (as warm as you can stand it), and let your hands soak for about five minutes before you apply your polish.
  • Washing hair — We've already established that dish soap fights grease like nothing else. That goes for your luscious locks, too. If you're having a particularly greasy day, wash your hair with dish soap and follow up with your regular shampoo. Use caution if you color your hair, though, because...
  • Lightening hair — The next time you overdo it with the home hair color, wash your hair with dish soap to lighten up a shade or two.
  • Wash your face — Dish soap cuts through grease on your skin just like it does your hair. Use a mild, non-scented dish soap, and don't do it every day or you'll dry yourself out.
  • Cure poison ivy — Poison ivy spreads when the oils from the blisters spread on your skin. Wash the affected area with dish soap to dry up the oils.
  • Prevent glasses from fogging — Rub a drop of dish soap on the lenses of your prescription glasses or sunglasses, then wipe clean (no rinsing!). The film left won't be visible, but it will prevent fog from appearing.
  • Wash hairbrushes — Mix a teaspoon of dish soap with a cup of hot water and soak your hairbrushes. Rinse them and lay them out to dry.
  • Clean jewelry — Mix a drop or two of dish soap into a bowl of seltzer water and drop your jewelry into the bowl. After the bubbles have done their magic for about five minutes, swish them around, then pull them out. Scrub gently with a soft toothbrush and rinse clean.
  • DIY ice packs — Fill a freezer bag with dish soap and freeze it to create your own ice pack. It stays frozen longer than water and can be re-frozen. These thin ice packs also work great in lunchboxes.

Outside

  • Clean your grill — In a large plastic tub or trash bag, mix one cup of dish soap with two gallons of water. Set the grill in the mixture and seal, for at least 12 hours. Scrub with a wire brush and rinse.
  • Clean your wheels — It's not easy to remove brake dust from the wheels of your car, but a mixture of warm water and dish soap will do the job with just a light scrubbing.
  • Kill weeds — Stop pouring chemicals on your lawn and use a homemade mixture instead. Mix a teaspoon of dish soap with a cup of salt and one gallon of white vinegar. Pour the mixture into a spray bottle and apply it to any pesky plants.
  • Remove oil stains from concrete — Those pesky drip stains have a way of ruining your garage floor or driveway. Shake a thick coating of baking soda on the stain, then cover in dish soap. Let it soak for a few hours, then scrub with a sturdy brush. Repeat as necessary.
  • Clean patio furniture — Outside furniture gets nasty. Mix a few drops of dish soap into bowl of warm water and wipe it clean in just a few minutes. Rinse with the garden hose and you're done.
  • Clean tools — Soak dirty tools in a mixture of dish soap and water to remove grime and grease. We know, tough guys have dirty tools, but it'll help keep them from rusting, too.
  • Bubbles — Have some outside fun by making your own bubbles.

Remove pests

  • Kill ants and roaches — There's no need for toxic chemicals to get rid of ants and roaches. Pour a teaspoon of dish soap into a spray bottle and fill it the rest of the way with water, then shake to mix. Spray it on the creepy crawlies to kill them almost instantly.
  • Kill fleas — Mix a few drops of dish soap into a spray bottle of water and spray it on carpet and upholstery. The soap will dry up the fleas, and after about 15 minutes you can vacuum away the residue. You can also bathe your cats and dogs in dish soap to kill fleas on contact.
  • Trap fruit flies — Mix two or three drops of dish soap into a bowl of white vinegar and leave it on your counter or table. The vinegar attracts the flies, and the soap keeps them from flying out of the water.
  • Guard houseplants — Mix a drop of dish soap into a spray bottle with water and mist your house plants to keep them free from bugs.

This post was sponsored by Green Works.

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Cesar Millan's Los Angeles home gives new meaning to "in the doghouse"

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Cesar Millan shows off his Los Angeles home

Cesar Millan shows off his Los Angeles home

Ushering cameras into the five-bedroom Southern California digs, Millan cheerfully announces, "Hello, I am Cesar Millan, and this is my pack. This is my house. Come on in!"

Yep, the pack he's referring to is his four dogs — although we're going to give him the benefit of the doubt and assume he also means his girlfriend, Jahira, and his 14-year-old son, Calvin.

Although Millan clearly adores his doggies, they don't have quite the free reign you may have imagined. They aren't allowed to jump on the cream-colored couches, and the only pup that sleeps in a bed is a Chihuahua called Coco, who cuddles up to Calvin at night.

Millan's favorite room, though, has — how do you say? — gone to the dogs. Well, one dog to be exact: Millan's former co-star, his beloved late pit bull, Daddy, who the room is dedicated to.

And when Millan and the dogs really want to relax, they just head to the beautiful backyard or the converted garage.

"So you know how musicians have their own studio at home?" Millan says of the garage. "Well, my dogs have their own little place where they have their toys and they have their food and everything. They know that this is their place. They love it."

More on living a pet-friendly life

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Why bans on plastic grocery bags are sweeping the country

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This summer, Safeway announced an initiative to reduce paper and plastic bag use by one billion by the end of 2015. Toys "R" Us has gotten in on the action with recyclable tote bags featuring children's artwork, with proceeds going toward Save the Children. Target gave away 1.5 million reusable bags on Earth Day 2013, and to date their shoppers have avoided the use of 475 million plastic bags.

But besides encouraging these large companies to go green, what are the benefits to you and your community when you trade disposable bags for reusable ones? Here are four fantastic reasons to make the switch once and for all.

1. Your individual carbon footprint shrinks

Each year, an estimated 500 billion to 1 trillion plastic bags are consumed worldwide. That's over one million plastic bags used per minute. But by opting out of plastic bag usage, you drop those numbers significantly, giving both the planet and your green conscience a boost.

2. Your family creates less mess

Did you know that the average family accumulates 60 plastic bags in only four trips to the grocery store? Even more astounding: The average American family takes home almost 1,500 plastic shopping bags each year. If you're anything like us, you hang onto those bags too, for "just in case" scenarios (just in case I need a baggie for dog-walking messes, just in case I need to throw away a dirty diaper, etc.). But just think of the shelving space you'll win back by getting rid of all that plastic. And the same goes for plastic sandwich baggies, too. Check out Edible Silicon Valley for how to tote a zero-waste lunch box.

3. Your community rides the green wave

Not only has California become the first state to enact a statewide ban, but there are currently hundreds of U.S. cities with plastic bag bans, and many more on the way. Plastic bags are quickly becoming a thing of the past, and reusable bags are taking their place.

4. You can save the earth, and flaunt your style

OK, so here's where the rubber meets the road. Maybe you've already made the switch, but you're still dealing with that tangle of random reusable bags in your car trunk... you know, the canvas one you got from your company's 5K, mashed in a ball inside the one from your gym, mashed in an even larger ball inside a holiday-edition freebie from your gas station? Yeah. Here's a solution for all that: Urban Market Bags, which are not only super chic, but come in multiple bags to a pack, thereby solving your thousand-mismatched-bags-wreaking-havoc-in-your-trunk problem. Oh, and they come in a ton of cute colors, too.

As women consumers, we wield enormous power. Our shopping habits get noticed, and this is one small lifestyle change we can make that has a huge global impact. Why not do it in style?

Photo credit: RonTech2000/E+/Getty Images
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