Breed at a glance

• Smart
• Courageous
• Loyal
• Great guard dog
• Family oriented

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Overview

Famously known as the dog that played Hooch alongside Tom Hanks in the movie Turner and Hooch, the Dogue de Bordeaux is a French breed whose name means Mastiff of Bordeaux. Also referred to as the French Mastiff, this very tough dog was bred as a protector, hunter and fighter. Meant to fight animals such as bears, jaguars and bulls, the Dogue de Bordeaux makes for an excellent guard dog. Regardless of its tough exterior, this is an excellent dog for a family.

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Breed standards

• AKC group: Working Group
• UKC group: Guardian Dog Group
• Average lifespan: 8 - 10 years
• Average size: 120 - 145 pounds
• Coat appearance: Short and fine
• Coloration: Fawn or mahogany with black or red masking
• Hypoallergenic: No
• Other identifiers: Powerful, muscular body with thick skin; wrinkled face; hazel to brown eyes; muscular legs; and thick tail
• Possible alterations: May have white markings on the body.

Is this breed right for you?

Extremely family-friendly, the Dogue de Bordeaux has a much tougher exterior than it does demeanor. Calm and content, the dog will only be aggressive if its home feels threatened or if it is not socialized with other animals as a puppy. Requiring training and a good leader, this breed will become rough out of instinct if not taught how to behave properly. Relatively calm indoors, it will do OK with apartment life but will need regular exercise. A loud snorer and big drooler, the Dogue de Bordeaux is prone to many health problems, including epilepsy, heart problems and hip dysplasia.

A dream day-in-the-life

This affectionate breed will likely wake up in one of its family member's room, although it will probably spend most of the night ensuring the home is safe from any harm. Enjoying a long walk, it'll settle in close to the ones that it loves. A calm and easygoing dog, the Dogue de Bordeaux will enjoy occasional rubdowns and play sessions while it keeps alert for anything out of the ordinary outside of the home.

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Now, I know what you're thinking: Who cares? I can eat tacos and drink vodka any day of the week. And while I tend to agree, I can't help but find myself completely freaking out with joy over this over-the-top foodie holiday. It might be because I'm half Russian (hello, vodka!) or maybe because I'm half Cuban (OK, tacos are Mexican, but close enough), or it might just be because the thought of a perfectly roasted al pastor taco paired with a well-shaken dirty martini is enough to make anyone's mouth start to water.

Therefore, I am renaming Oct. 4 to now be known as #IrinaEatsAllTheThingsAndDrinksAllTheThings Day. Now, if you're even a fraction as excited as I am about this silly little foodie holiday, then here are nine reasons you need to get out there and celebrate this Saturday:

1. You haven't truly lived until you've had a real corn tortilla.

The process for sourcing your own masa harina (flour made from specially treated corn) isn't quite as difficult these days as making your own, which means you can make your own corn tortillas from scratch pretty easily. Of course, there are a few places across the country that are still doing it the traditional way, and I loved learning how the popular Tortilleria Nixtamal (located in Queens, New York City) is doing it right.

2. The battle of "where was vodka invented?" is pretty funny to watch.

As far as we know, the first production of the distilled beverage was either in Poland in the 8th century or in Russia in the late 9th century. Both countries lay claim to it, and just watch what happens if you put a Russian person and a Polish person together in a room to go at it (trust me, I know). These days, I opt for the Polish brand Wyborowa Wódka (which has been around since 1823) when drinking it neat.

Photo credit: Alina Goncharova/Hemera/360/Getty Images

3. At the end of a long day, a well-made taco is like a warm hug.

So you've had a rough day or maybe even a rough week. You know who is there to embrace you in delicious comfort? Tacos. Whether you opt for vegan breakfast tacos, slow cooker chipotle pork tacos, fried avocado tacos, sausage pizza tacos, Korean street tacos, spicy sweet potato tacos… Wait, what was I saying? Oh yes, tacos. They make your life a little better, period.

Photo credit: Giphy

4. A vodka watermelon is perfect for any time of year.

I know you know how to make one and probably do it all summer long (I mean, I can't be the only one, right?), but why stop there? Especially if you live in one of the warmer states, vodka watermelon is a great party favorite for any time of year. Personally I love making it with Prairie Organic Cucumber Flavored Vodka in the spring and Vermont Spirits Gold Vodka (made from maple) in the fall.

Photo credit: Giphy

5. Tacos love you so much they even come in dessert form.

How many foods do you know that love you so very much that they will even change the very core of their being and become a sweet, sweet treat for you instead? You won't be able to resist trying dessert tacos in the form of fruit tacos with chocolate tortillas, homemade choco tacos and even mini tacos made out of cookies. They're sweet, because tacos care.

6. The holiday punch is coming back, and vodka is here to help.

Confession: I recently had the chance to try a holiday punch made with Hangar 1 Vodka, cucumber slices, Cocchi Barolo Chinato, verjuice, lime juice, honey syrup and sparkling wine, and it blew me away. Since then, I've noticed the resurgence of the holiday punch and even bought myself a bunch bowl. Trust me on this one, there's no better way to spend this season than with holiday punch.

Photo credit: margouillatphotos/iStock/360/Getty Images

7. You can celebrate with tacos for takeout or in a restaurant too.

Whether or not you live in one of the most taco-crazed cities in America (and believe me, NYC absolutely does not belong at the bottom of this list), everyone and anyone can enjoy a taco even if they're not wanting to cook one up themselves. Most restaurants these days have some form or other of this treat, and coupled with your favorite vodka drink is a good way to celebrate.

Photo credit: Estately

8. A perfectly shaken martini will class up your girls' night.

It wasn't until I started having regular girls' nights with my friends that I realized the power of a perfectly shaken martini. Sure, wine and margaritas are always nice, but there's just something about a shaken martini in a pretty glass that always makes everyone feel right at home. If you've never made one, then watch this helpful (simple) video — and get ready to play around!

9. Because vodka tacos are a thing that seriously needs to happen.

OK, I have to say it: Why are vodka tacos not a thing yet? How long have we known about this perfect combination of National Taco Day and National Vodka Day but stood by and not taken action? Seriously, I'm not trying to get all Gretchen Wieners with you, but between the dirty martini salsa, this vodka and citrus cured salmon and the new hybrid Vodquila, we should be able to make this happen.

Photo credit: Giphy

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So we cave, spend far too much money on perishable decorations, but hey, at least our houses look magazine perfect for a month. But guess what! You can totally eat some of these decorations, and I'm not sure there's anything cuter or more perfect for fall than a pumpkin pie inside of a pumpkin.

The best part about these (besides the cuteness factor) is they actually make a much better shell than pie crust does. There's no spilling over the sides or burning edges to deal with. The pumpkin itself is perfectly cooked and soft by the time the filling sets in the oven, and you get a little slice of actual pumpkin with each bite. Plus, they're the perfect portion control for pie. Win-win.

Pumpkin pie in a pumpkin recipe

Pumpkin pie filling is poured into an actual mini pumpkin or squash and baked to perfection. With each forkful, you get a bite of pie and pumpkin.

Serves 4

Prep time: 15 minutes | Bake time: 60 minutes | Total time: 1 hour, 15 minutes

Ingredients:

• 4 small pumpkins (sugar pie pumpkins or golden nugget variety are best)
• 2/3 cup sugar
• 1 teaspoon cinnamon
• 1/2 teaspoon ginger
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 1/4 teaspoon ground cloves
• 1/4 teaspoon nutmeg
• 2 eggs
• 1 (15 ounce) can pumpkin puree
• 1 (12 ounce) can evaporated milk
• Whipped cream or ice cream, for topping

Directions:

1. Preheat the oven to 375 degrees F.
2. Cut a small slice off the bottoms of the pumpkins so they sit flat. Cut off about 1/3 of the top, and scoop out the seeds and flesh in the middle for the filling.
3. In a small bowl, combine the sugar, spices and salt.
4. In a large bowl, whisk the eggs. Add the pumpkin, and whisk until incorporated. Add the sugar and spice mixture, and mix again. Slowly add the evaporated milk, and stir until combined.
5. Pour the filling into the hollowed pumpkins, leaving about 1/2 inch of space from the top so the filling has room to expand while baking.
6. Place the pumpkins into a baking dish, and bake for about 60 minutes, until the pumpkins are cooked and the filling is mostly set.
7. Remove the pumpkins from the oven, and let them sit until completely cooled. The filling will set more as it cools.
8. Top with whipped cream or ice cream, and serve. The pumpkin itself is also edible!

More pumpkin pie recipes

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Statue of Liberty

How cute is this? This Statue of Liberty costume from MilkandCuddles.com is not only easy to make, it requires no sewing. Simply take a green, twin size fitted sheet and wrap it around your kid, safety-pinning it over the shoulder to fit. To make the tablet, simply wrap a green pillowcase around a book. Finish off your look with the hat (she bought hers for $1 at Target) and you are ready for trick-or-treating.

Photo credit: MilkandCuddles.com

Superhero cape

If you have some colorful sheets lying around, these superhero capes from Skirtastop.com would be the perfect Halloween costumes. Follow her easy tutorial (although she uses fabric in hers, a sheet would work just fine) to create a personalized cape for all of your superheroes.

Photo credit: Skirtastop.com

Mummy

Mummify your kids by simply ripping up an old bedsheet and tying it around their arms and legs. Add on white paint to their faces and black around the eyes to create that "slightly undead" look.

Olaf the snowman

Is your child crazy about the movie Frozen? Thought so. You can make her the perfect Olaf the snowman costume out of a white bedsheet. The eyes and buttons in this costume were made out of felt while the carrot was drawn on freehand. Check out the tutorial for more detailed instructions.

Photo credit: Savegreenbeinggreen.com

Princess Leia

This adorable Princess Leia was made out of a white bed sheet, while her hair piece was made out of a brown t-shirt. You can also make the R2-D2 costume from a cardboard box, which she creased to make it more rounded, while the helmet was made from a metal mixing bowl.

Photo credit: Costume-Works.com

Toga... or an angel

Creating a toga out of a sheet would make the perfect Halloween costume for your little Caesar. Check out the tutorial at Kartwheels.org to transform a plain bedsheet into a great costume.

This same outfit can also be used for an angel. Simply swap out the laurel crown for a halo and add in some angel wings.

Photo credit: Kartwheels.org

Grapes

When life gives you grapes, you pull your sheet off of your bed and make a costume out of it, right? This costume is so fun and just requires a purple sheet, some purple tights and a whole bunch (get it?) of purple balloons. You can even have the entire family wear this costume and go as a grapevine. Check out the website for the complete tutorial.

Photo credit: Coolest-Homemade-Costumes.com

Ghost

We couldn't do a bedsheet costume roundup and leave out the traditional ghost costume. This mom simply cut out holes for the head and arms, ripped the ends and placed a white beanie on her son's head. The white makeup with the black eyes gives it the final ghostly touches.

Butterfly wings

These butterfly wings are so dreamy and would make a fun DIY project. You can buy these for around $16 at MagicCabin.com — or you can make these out of colored bedsheets. Use paints or markers to add in the detail.

Photo credit: Magiccabin.com

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We love food trucks — we really do. What can be better than a gourmet restaurant that packs up and comes to you? Still, it's not always sunny in food truck land. Between the thrill of finding a food truck and the thrill of eating your meal, a lot can happen, and it ain't all good. Of course, no one will tell you that your food truck meal comes with a side of waiting, raining and whining, but we've got the pictures to prove it.

Stage 1: Hunger

Photo credit: Giphy

Like so many meals, the rumbling in your tummy gets your butt out of your chair and looking for food. Sure, you could hit the vending machine or call out for sandwiches, but today you've decided you're going out to eat.

Stage 2: Excitement

Photo credit: Giphy

You're on your way to the same old place when you see it. A food truck. Something new. Something different. Something close! No walking! No driving! What could be better?

Stage 3: Pride

Photo credit: Giphy

Of course you feel a sense of pride! Food trucks are where the cool kids eat. Celebrity chefs open them, celebrity diners eat at them, and now it's your turn to be seen at one.

Stage 4: Realization

Photo credit: Giphy

And that's when you see it: the line. That's the problem with being trendy — everyone else is doing it. Still, you're committed, and you get your number. That's right, you're number 7,431.

Now serving: 4.

And that's when things really start to go downhill.

Stage 5: Worry

Photo credit: Giphy

See, there's the problem with food trucks. That rhythmic drumming you heard walking up to the truck wasn't some haute new techno band. Nope, that's the diesel generator that powers the whole operation. Even better, it's now spewing hot smog straight into your lungs.

Now serving: 8.

Stage 6: Mother Nature attacks

Photo credit: Giphy

Your ability to breathe isn't the only thing affected by all that smog. Somehow the food truck's gasses have created a Clooney-esque perfect storm directly over you, that is dumping ice-cold water on your head and blowing gale-force winds into your face.

On the plus side, numbers 100 to 6,786 get blown away by the storm, meaning you're going to get your food a lot faster.

Now serving: 6,912.

Stage 7: Daydreaming

Photo credit: Giphy

At this point, you've been waiting in line over a day, and the dangerous drop in your blood sugar has got you wishing violence on the people in front of you, the food truck chefs and anyone who's ever looked at you funny.

Now serving: 7,346

Stage 8: Envy

Photo credit: Giphy

Near where you stand in line, dreaming of karate-chopping your mother-in-law, who once said eating at a food truck was "a good idea," sits a teen eating a dry turkey sandwich on two stale slices of bread.

And you decide he's the luckiest man in the world.

Now serving: 7,431.

Stage 9: Ordering

Photo credit: Giphy

All's right with the world, because they finally call your number. You're about to eat, right?

No, of course not, because this lady is taking your order, and she's getting really annoyed that they don't service "rice" every time you try to order a burger and "fries."

Stage 10: Empty wallet syndrome

Photo credit: Giphy

Finally you just order the chicken salad because you're hungry and you just don't care anymore. Then they hand you a bill roughly equal to the amount Donald Trump spends on toupees. You really start to question why you were put on this Earth if all you're going to do is suffer.

Stage 11: More waiting!

Photo credit: Giphy

Well, sure, they still have to cook the food, but surely you won't need to wait more than a minute or two, right?

Wrong. You hear the words that spell your doom: "Number 4. I got an order for number 4."

Stage 12: What are they building in there?

Photo credit: Giphy

They have your money. All you can do is wait and wonder what kind of exotic ingredients they're putting into your chicken salad...

Stage 13: The moment

Photo credit: Giphy

On the third anniversary of starting your food truck adventure, after you've chewed every piece of gum in your purse and begged for the crumbs from that kid and his turkey sandwich, you hear it.

"I have a steak wrap for number 7,431."

Your first thought is that you didn't order a steak wrap, but that thought is immediately beaten up by your all-consuming need to EAT. FOOD. NOW.

Stage 14: It's amazing

Photo credit: Giphy

And that's the worst part. You wanted a burger and fries. You ordered a chicken salad. You got a beef wrap (with rice, no less), and it may just be the best beef wrap you've ever eaten. You can't get enough. There's sauce dripping on your fingers, steak stuck in your hair, pita smeared on your face, and you don't care. This food is amazing!

Stage 15: You can't move

Photo credit: Giphy

You eat twice as much as you thought you could because you didn't realize the beef wrap was bigger than your head, and it was so good you didn't want to stop eating.

Stage 16: We're doing it again tomorrow!

Photo credit: Giphy

And that's when it hits you. Smog, pouring rain, angry wacked-out-Nicki-Minaj-looking order taker, weird kid and his nasty turkey sandwich — it was totally worth it! Sure, you've been declared legally dead by your loved ones, and the clothes you're wearing went out of style and came back into fashion while you were in line, but the food was amazing.

And that's the crazy part. You're actually thinking about doing it again. Even though tomorrow you're going to have to find this truck and probably drive across town…

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Let's do it again!

Us Weekly recently spoke with Super Troopers star Steve Lemme about the sequel and what's being planned. It sounds like we should expect the entire Broken Lizard comedy group to return, which is definitely the best news ever. Lemme also teased that the entire gang is trying to grow mustaches for their parts. (So, obviously, we're dying to see this.)

During the interview, Lemme explained that the biggest hold-ups were legal rights and making sure they had a movie that wouldn't let down hardcore fans of the original. We're sure whatever they've come up with is going to be brilliant. Since not many details have been released, we thought we'd do a little daydreaming about how they could update Super Troopers and make it just as awesome.

Awesome Bill and Ted phrases you can use in any situation

We're going to need...

An amazing opening sequence

How do you possibly compete with the way they pulled over that car of stoners? We think it'd be awesome to see the boys throw on all that tactical gear our police forces have now and raid something really stupid. Maybe they could bust into the diner an hour before opening in order to get breakfast before everyone else?

A new spin on the meow game

Just the other day we were wondering what would happen if we played the meow game the next time a cop pulled us over for speeding. We'd love to see what the officers do when they pull over a car of hipster college kids and the driver starts inserting "meow" into his conversation. Or if our band of misfit police officers put on disguises, got pulled over by rookies and then tried to play the meow game with them.

October movie picks

The return of the chugging game

Last time, we watched Jay Chandrasekhar chug an entire bottle of maple syrup, and it was the most disgusting and awesome thing we'd ever seen. Yes, we know the maple syrup worked because they were in Vermont. But the best way to top it would be a chugging contest with something equally weird or insane. Our money is on Sriracha. Please?! (We also think that the soap-eating incident should be upped by someone "eating" a urinal cake.)

Bulletproof cup

Of course, who can forget Lemme's bulletproof cup scene? It was a total Jackass moment, and we loved every second of it. It'd be awesome to see it go wrong, though. What if he tries to make a fireproof cup and then gets third-degree burns on his junk? Sounds like two hours' worth of ointment and aloe jokes!

Sure, many times sequels are letdowns, but we can't wait for this one. Are you excited for a Super Troopers sequel? Let us know!

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Melissa says, "In my cookbook, there are a lot of really yummy, homey dishes. It’s so hard for me to pick just two! But I’m going to go with what my friends have me cook the most. My fried chicken. I’d enter it into a contest, and I’d win. For the other, I have a tuna noodle casserole in there that is incredibly popular. I tend to go for the savory stuff. If you like sweet stuff, the peach cobbler is rockin’."

Morocco, with its beautiful, diverse landscapes, busy cities and many cultural vibes, also has many things to offer when it comes to food and ingredients. Located in the northwestern corner of Africa, Morocco is heavily influenced by not one but many cultures when it comes to its cuisine. Think couscous, dates, figs, lamb and lots of spices. One thing I have learned is that this type of food is very flavorful, and that's exactly what I love about it. Nothing bland or boring here. I came up with this easy slow cooker recipe that has many of the flavors of Morocco in it. Beans, potatoes, fresh herbs and dates are among the list of ingredients for this easy family meal.

Slow cooker Moroccan chowder recipe

Serves 6-8

Ingredients:

For the chowder

• 1 (15 ounce) can garbanzo beans, drained and rinsed
• 1 large sweet onion, diced
• 1 red bell pepper, diced
• 2 small sweet potatoes, diced
• 4-5 fresh garlic cloves, minced
• 1/2 cup dried lentils
• 1-1/2 cups chicken or beef broth

For the base sauce

• 1 (14.5 ounce) can diced tomatoes
• 1 bunch fresh cilantro
• 1 (1 inch) chunk fresh ginger root
• 2 tablespoons sweet paprika
• 1 tablespoon dried cumin
• 1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
• 5-6 large pitted dates
• Salt and pepper, to taste

For the topping

• Plain yogurt and fresh cilantro as garnish

Directions:

1. To your Crock-Pot, add all the ingredients for the chowder.
2. To a food processor or high-speed blender, add all the ingredients for the base sauce.
3. Blend on high until the mixture is smooth and there are no chunks. Give the sauce a quick taste, and adjust any seasonings as desired.
4. Add the sauce to the slow cooker, and mix everything well. Set the Crock-Pot to cook on low for 6 to 8 hours or on high for 4 to 6 hours.
5. Once the chowder is done cooking, ladle it into bowls.
6. Garnish with a spoonful of creamy yogurt and fresh cilantro. Serve warm.

Tip: If you want meat in this dish, then try adding ground lamb, beef or chicken, and cook as directed.

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Re-create these bread puddings at home with whatever seasonal fruits and spices you have on hand or that are in your local markets. Seasonal flavor inspiration is everywhere, so go out there and find it.

1. Pumpkin pie bread pudding with bourbon icing recipe

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This pumpkin pie bread pudding with bourbon icing is a great dessert to bring to your holiday parties.

2. Pumpkin bread pudding with maple rum raisin syrup recipe

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The best part of this pumpkin bread pudding with maple rum raisin syrup is that syrup. Sweet, boozy and oh so perfect with the pumpkin.

3. Pumpkin bread pudding pie recipe

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Probably the most ingenious idea this season is to put pumpkin bread batter inside pie crust, like this pumpkin bread pudding pie.

4. Cranberry-pumpkin croissant bread pudding recipe

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What better way to use day-old croissant than in this cranberry-pumpkin croissant bread pudding recipe?

5. Cranberry and coconut bread pudding with whiskey sauce recipe

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Crazily enough, this cranberry and coconut bread pudding with whiskey sauce is gluten- and dairy-free but still as delicious as the regular kind.

6. White chocolate-cranberry bread pudding recipe

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The white chocolate sprinkled throughout this white chocolate-cranberry bread pudding adds great texture and flavor.

7. Cranberry bread pudding with rum cream sauce recipe

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Sometimes the sauce makes the dish, like in this cranberry bread pudding with rum cream sauce. Rum cream sauce? Yes, please!

8. Boozy gingerbread-eggnog bread pudding recipe

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The gingerbread spices in this boozy gingerbread-eggnog bread pudding recipe really warm up the dessert and make it ideal for serving on chilly nights when you're craving something sweet.

9. Apple cinnamon bread pudding recipe

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The simple combination of fresh apples and spicy cinnamon makes this apple cinnamon bread pudding a classic seasonal flavor.

10. Skillet apple butter bread pudding recipe

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There's nothing like this gooey, sweet and delicious skillet apple butter bread pudding. With only five ingredients plus the whipped cream and caramel topping, this is perfect for when you need a perfectly quick dessert.

11. Panettone apple bread pudding recipe

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We're loving the use of the traditional Italian holiday sweet bread to make this panettone apple bread pudding.

12. Lighter caramelized pear bread pudding recipe

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This lighter caramelized pear bread pudding recipe is great for when pears start popping up at local markets.

13. Pecan pie bread pudding recipe

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Imagine your favorite holiday pie turned into custardy, delicious bread pudding! This pecan pie bread pudding is it.

14. Cinnamon-caramel bread pudding recipe

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Combine spicy cinnamon with sweet, sticky caramel, and you've got this amazing cinnamon-caramel bread pudding, perfect for a holiday treat.

15. Eggnog breakfast bread pudding with cinnamon whipped cream recipe

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Who wouldn't want to wake up to this eggnog breakfast bread pudding with cinnamon whipped cream? We know we would.

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Drew and Jonathan opened up the doors of their Vegas home and invited People mag (and us all at home by proxy) in to take a gander at their totally gorgeous home. There were the modern touches you'd expect from the brothers — they did a full renovation, incorporated a chevron pattern on the walls and lifted the ceiling by 20 feet. But then there were the less conventional touches — they collect swords and they are the only house in Vegas with their own commercial-grade water slide.

The place is a modern den of luxury while still being kind of bachelor-pad fabulous. I guarantee you I would not have a whole floor of my home dedicated to video games, nor would I be cool mounting and displaying my nerdy collection of weaponry. That all said, if these two were all "Becca please move into our house and live with us forever," I'd be lying if I said I wasn't sorely tempted. Granted, my reasons are not entirely decor based if you feel me.

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Please meet Cleo and Forbi. They are the most unlikely and ready-for-prime-time animal duo out there. Because this cat and owl met when they were both young creatures, they were able to overcome their natural inclination to hate each other, leading to this beautiful lifelong friendship. Someone write them a theme song so I can go ahead and memorize it already, OK?

Even though from reading the caption I knew that these two are buds, I still kind of held my breath when the kitty reached out playfully to pat the owl with one paw. I was all, "Ah, claws! Bird! Flee!" But this kitty is the master of the soft touch, and the owl clearly loved bumping up against his favorite buddy. I love these two. Let the fan-casting begin. Which celebs would you pick to voice these animals in a movie about their unusual love?

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Peanut butter. Dogs. They go together even better than peanut butter and jelly, even though I will fully admit that they are infinitely less delicious. But taking a video of a jar of peanut butter sitting next to a jar of jelly isn't exactly going to make scintillating film.

Cue the puppies and peanuts! This video of oodles of different dogs eating peanut butter in slow motion is way more cute and way more compelling than it should be. I cannot. Look. Away.

Are you craving peanut butter after watching this? I will totally admit that I am, even if that's vaguely weird. It definitely reminds you just how crucial it is to really savor what you enjoy. That's right, it took a bunch of slobbering dogs to make me be all "awww, today hasn't been so bad because earlier I had froyo!" It's the little things, Dawg.

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The Pinheiros River in São Paulo travels through the largest city in the Americas, and it is beyond polluted. Loads of factories use it as a receptacle to dump waste, not to mention all the other various debris that collects there on a daily basis. It's not a river you'd relish going into, that's for sure.

One local artist wants to change that by drawing attention to the problem of the river's polluted state, and he is doing it in a unique way: with topless sculptures. The artist has erected statues of four life-size figures staring out at the murky river in the hopes of generating a conversation about how to change the river's current state.

One of the figures, the one garnering the most notice, is a topless blonde woman. Talk about making a splash. I would argue that there are more effective ways of forcing change, but hey, at least this has got us talking, right?

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Photographer James Mollison has done something truly remarkable with his collection of photographs: He's captured the wide breadth of the childhood experience, and he's done it without saying a word. Mollison traveled the globe, taking vivid, striking portraits of children and then taking equally vivid photographs of the places where they sleep. It's a series of photos that you might not realize is having an impact on you all at once. Its effect is gradual, like the changing tides.

Some of the photographs are not surprising: the pageant girl with the pretty pink room, the football-playing boy whose abode shows the single-mindedness of his obsession. But then are other images, like the child who spends his nights on a couch under an open sky or the 4-year-old who looks far too old for his age who sleeps on a mattress in a field. It's a shocking disparity of experiences, one that will make you thoughtful, sad and totally grateful for all that you have.

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When Sophie kept inexplicably escaping from her crate each day, her owner grew curious as to how the petite pup could possibly be unlocking the crate door.

Per her normal routine, she puts Sophie in the crate, assuring her that she isn't alone. Her good buddy Twitch the German Shepherd was there to keep her company.

And, unbeknownst to their owner, a whole lot more.

After peering around to make sure the owner was gone, Twitch pulls the towel off of Sophie's crate, and then  — in what we can only imagine is record time — jiggles the lock open and frees his friend.

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But according to Subway, we ladies have more important things to worry about — like dieting so we can fit into our Sexxxi Bratwurst / Slutty UPS Woman / Scandalous Sailor costumes, amirite? Not!

If you're like me, then no, that is in fact not something you are worrying about. Or at least it wasn't until you saw Subway's latest pathetic commercial, which not only tries to scare women into dieting for Halloween but also tries to convince us that fast-food subs are healthy.

In the commercial, co-worker No. 1 looks on incredulously as her co-workers eat burgers for lunch. "But wut about ur Halloween body?" she asks. Then comes a montage of her dressed in every stereotypical "sexy" Halloween costume there is while she talks about how important it is to shape up in time to wear them on Halloween.

Never mind that this stance basically implies people with larger bodies can't possibly be sexy (spoiler alert: they can) — the fact that it doesn't include any men in costume shows that Subway knows it will be more successful in convincing women to hate their bodies and buy a low-cal sandwich than it would men. Probably because women are already preconditioned by society to feel insecure about their looks thanks to having advertisments just like this one shoved down our throats 24/7 from birth till death.

Women are already told to worry about bikini season, keeping off the holiday pounds, working on our post-baby bodies, banana rolls, wrinkles and a veritable s*** ton of other manufactured insecurities that are the backbone of the beauty and diet industries. Do we really need to start worrying about how we'll look in our Halloween costumes? And do those costumes really always have to be something "sexy"?

It may come as a surprise to Subway that a lot of women eschew these types of costumes for, y'know, regular costumes. You can be a witch without being "slutty." And you can wear a costume whose sole purpose isn't to look like weird, themed lingerie and still feel sexy too. Sexiness is about feeling self-confident and having agency over your body and your desires, and even if you're dressed as a naughty Little Bo Peep, if you're obsessing over how your body looks in your costume, then you probably won't feel sexy. And I doubt eating a preservative-laden turkey sandwich at Subway is going to solve that.

So thanks for trying to turn one of the most fun holidays of the year into an insecurity-riddled sexual pageant, Subway, but no thanks. If I want to feel sexy for Halloween, I'll do it my way, and the only thing I'll be eating to prepare myself for the spookiest day of the year is candy (you have to test it for the trick-or-treaters, obviously).

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Gérard Depardieu has an insatiable thirst for wine

Aside from the fact that he's considered one of the world's most prolific actors, Depardieu is also known for his controversial antics, which include peeing on an airplane floor, defecting to Russia, enjoying wine in excess — and now we can add former male prostitute and gravedigger to the list of ways to describe him.

In his new autobiography That's the Way it Was, which was excerpted in the Daily Mail on Sunday, Depardieu confesses the sins of his youth, writing that as a teenager on the streets of Châteauroux, in central France, he worked as a male prostitute, and later he took his profession to the streets of Paris.

"I've known since I was very young that I please homosexuals," Depardieu said in his autobiography, adding that when men approached him for sex, "I would ask them for money."

Gérard Depardieu pee incident was "humiliating"

The Green Card actor also admits that he occasionally took advantage of his clients and they'd get more than they bargained for.

"At 20, the thug in me was alive and kicking," he wrote. "I would rip some of them off. I would beat up some bloke and leave with all his money."

Anderson Cooper gets the giggles during Gérard Depardieu report

Depardieu's thuggish behavior continued and landed him in jail for three weeks for stealing a car. He also admitted that he and another man used to dig up freshly buried bodies to steal their jewelry and shoes.

Yet Depardieu does not appear to be concerned with the public's opinion of him and will happily refer to himself as a hooligan. Speaking of his friendship with Russian president Vladimir Putin, he wrote, "We could have both become hoodlums. I think he immediately liked my hooligan side... the fact that I had occasionally been picked up off the pavement dead drunk.

"Like with me, nobody would have betted a penny on him when he was 15."

When it comes to Halloween costumes, we have a few rules at our house:

1. Make our own costumes
2. Try not to spend more than $20 per costume
3. Generally avoid licensed characters
4. Costumes have to be simple

Here is a roundup of costumes that fit our strict rules.

Adorable baby fish

This baby fish costume would take some time to make, but it's as simple as cutting out circles from felt. Anyone can do that.

Super simple snail

This little snail may be slow, but making the costume will not be.

Ridgeback dino

Want a near-instant costume? Simply add dinosaur spines and a tail to existing clothing.

Out of This World Robot

Robot costumes are classic and take just a few items from the recycling bin. This costume from Paging Fun Mums finds the balance between simple and adorable.

Gnome time to lose

Garden gnomes are adorable, and your little one will be the hit of the block with this equally adorable and easy costume.

Perfect poodles

This simple poodle costume uses items you probably already have lying around the house: leggings, a white shirt and some felt.

Fluffy cotton candy

Don’t be fooled by how adorable this costume is; it is surprisingly sweet and simple to make.

Rainbow beauty

Your little one will brighten up the sky, or at least the street, when she dons this beautiful cascade of rainbows this Halloween. Even better? This costume uses extremely inexpensive materials.

Silly scarecrow

A scarecrow is meant to scare away crows, but with this sunshiny costume, your little one will only be scaring away bad moods. With just a few modifications, you can create this costume entirely from your child's existing wardrobe.

Light as a Macaron

The French Macaron is two airy cookies sandwiching a delicious filling. No filling could be cuter than your little angel. This costume looks impressive and takes just a few materials to create.

Paulo Frazao had no idea what he was in for when he adopted his new kitten. He knew for sure that he was getting a cuddly buddy (God willing and whiskers crossed), but he had no idea that he'd also get proof positive that the saying "curiosity killed the cat" was absolutely true. Luckily, his curious kitten escaped any sort of harm, but that's not because it lacked ingenuity.

When Paulo returned home, he discovered that his kitten had used an empty grocery shopping bag to create his own hammock. Sound like too much of a tight squeeze? That's what claws are for! The kitten employed a little feline DIY prowess and bam! Instant kitten-approved hammock. My kitten Batman is forever getting into things he shouldn't be. His latest dangerous hang-out spot is underneath every rug in the house. Walk around at your peril, dudes.

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Orlando Bloom says he and Erica Packer are only pals

According to Woman's Day magazine, via the Daily Mail, the Kingdom of Heaven actor has been turning up the charm to get a date with Margot Robbie. In fact, Bloom is apparently going to great lengths to try to woo the Wolf Of Wall Street star by "showering Margot with gifts" and flowers.

"Orlando has been bombarding her with flirty text messages and phone calls. He's turning on the charm and practically begging her to hook up with him," a source told the magazine.

Orlando Bloom, Justin Bieber fight embarrasses Miranda Kerr

Apparently the actor has even shared a kiss with Robbie, at The Golden Globes after-party in January (although we don't remember that). So, what's the problem? They are clearly attracted to each other if they've already smooched.

But there's one person standing in Bloom's way: Robbie's current boyfriend, assistant film director Tom Ackerley, who she met on the set of the film Suite Française in June. And it doesn't look like the blond beauty is intending to part ways with her beau anytime soon — even for a hunk like Bloom.

But that's not to say there is no hope for Bloom, because apparently, Robbie has had a crush on him since her school days. But although she's flattered with his supposed advances, she just wants to see where things go with Ackerley.

Has Orlando Bloom found himself a hot new model?

That's OK — we're sure there are plenty of women who would gladly be the target of Bloom's affections.