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No Cameras Allowed: Watch how one man snuck into many, many music festivals

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No Cameras Allowed

No Cameras Allowed

Concert tickets are pricey these days. Music festivals are even more expensive, but James Marcus Haney didn't want to miss out just because he was broke. This sly Mumford and Sons fan decided to scheme his way backstage at Coachella to experience the festival like a VIP.

Celebrity trendspotting at the Coachella Music Festival >>

Typically, we'd scold the young man for his unlawful behavior, but the fact that he videotaped some super-amazing footage makes us think this petty criminal is quite the talented filmmaker.

His modus operandi for getting into festivals without tickets? Copycat wristbands, fake badges, cutting through fences, hopping walls and distracting security guards were all techniques he employed. But we should also mention that the Jay Z fan acted with confidence. Sometimes, simply acting as if you belong somewhere will get you in.

But Haney wasn't always lucky. In this clip, we see several security guards kicking him out, saying "those wristbands aren't good for anything."

Leonardo DiCaprio busts a move at Coachella >>

Maybe this documentary will be a wake-up call to the music industry that live concerts can really break the bank. We know the music industry has been struggling to remain profitable since the digital revolution, but a three-day general admission festival pass can run over $600! We love music, but that's a lot of Benjamins.

Beyoncé brings back the wet curls look at the Grammys >>

Now that Haney's set to be exposed as a faker, fraud and counterfeiter on national television, we wonder if he'll still be able to use his charm and crafty skill to sneak into more festivals. Judging from the fun and intimate footage in this clip, we hope he does.

No Cameras Allowed airs Friday, Aug. 29 on MTV.

Have you ever snuck into a concert or finagled your way backstage without a pass? Have you ever met your musical idol? Were they as awesome as you thought they'd be? Share your story with us in the comments section below.


Russell Brand's The Trews: Intimidating, must-watch videos

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Courtney Love turned down Russell Brand because he's stinky >>

"This YouTube channel is going to analyze media, it's going to dismantle media, it's going to create a new frequency of truth," the Forgetting Sarah Marshall star says in a video on the channel's homepage. "That's why we called it The Trews." Brand's videos are quite intimidating, prolific and some are lengthy to wade through, so here are our top must-see Trews episodes.

Russell Brand, J.K. Rowling win big in libel lawsuits >>

1. "Climate Change Debate: Which is the Hoax?": The actor tackles the topic of climate change and whether or not it is a hoax, as well as the difference between climate and temperature.

Russel Brand Trews: Climate Change

Russel Brand Trews: Climate Change

2. "Gay Marriage: What's Really Wrong with it?": Brand talks about the fact that certain media outlets are saying the most contentious issues that face our society today are gay marriage and abortion.

Russell Brand Trews: Gay Marriage

Russell Brand Trews: Gay Marriage

3. "Does Fox News Want Us To Be Racist?": Katy Perry's ex analyzes Bill O'Reilly's views about immigration in America and how the Obama administration is handling it.

Russell Brand Trews tackles Fox News

Russell Brand Trews tackles Fox News

4. "Middle East Conflict: What Should We Think?": The oft-controversial comedian talks about Fox News' coverage of the conflict between Israel and Palestine.

Russell Brand Trews on Middle East conflict

Russell Brand Trews on Middle East conflict

5. "Am I A Freemason?": In this installation, Brand answers fan questions and responds to inevitable negative comments and backlash, as well as one watcher's accusation that he is a member of the Freemason spiritual group.

Russell Brand Trews responds to backlash

Russell Brand Trews responds to backlash

What do you think of Brand's opinions presented in The Trews? Love them or hate them?

All videos credited to Russell Brand

13 Baby zoo animals to make you squee

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The unimpressed giraffe

baby giraffe

baby giraffe

"You didn't bring me a snack? Not impressed. Not impressed at all."

The guy that's not sure about his buzz cut

Baby elephant

Baby elephant

"They told me the buzz cut would feel nice during the summer, but I think I look like a doofus."

The sloth that's just chillin'

Baby sloth

Baby sloth

"What's up? Why are you in such a hurry?"

The drunk baby tiger

Drunk baby tiger

Drunk baby tiger

"Another round!"

The unlikely duo

Unlikely duo

Unlikely duo

"Be casual. I think we've been caught."

The baby lion that just needs to cuddle

Baby lions cuddle

Baby lions cuddle

"Who said cats and dogs don't get along?"

The smug baby hippo

Baby hippo

Baby hippo

"Go ahead and look — I'm sexy and I know it."

The penguin that just loves life

Baby penguin

Baby penguin

"Welcome to my planet. It's nice here. Bring a jacket."

The ticklish gorilla

Baby Gorilla

Baby Gorilla

"Hey, what is this thing — oooooh!"

The koala baby that just needs to nap it out

Baby koala

Baby koala

"Nothing beats the armpit of a tree. Now leave me alone."

The alert baby seal

Baby seal

Baby seal

"Holy moly, this water is frigid. Are my eyes giving it away?"

The chimp that is uncertain about its reverse mullet

Baby chimp

Baby chimp

"I knew I should have requested a side bang."

The surprised polar bear

Baby polar bear

Baby polar bear

"Mom, you're embarrassing me!"

More about pets and animals

Dog passes out from overwhelming joy
Two boys prove there's hope for humanity by saving a baby deer
9 Ways cats are born to be stealthy ninjas

EXCLUSIVE CLIP: Daniel Radcliffe tortures himself in new film What If

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Wallace (Daniel Radcliffe) feels burned by his previous relationships. The breakup with his last girlfriend, a fellow medical student, was so painful he dropped out of medical school because he couldn't stand to be near the woman who ripped out his heart.

Daniel Radcliffe has a huge crush on Katy Perry >>

When Wallace meets the quirky Chantry (Zoe Kazan), he feels like perhaps he may have the strength to love again. There's only one problem — Chantry lives with her boyfriend Ben (Rafe Spall), creating a no-love zone.

In our exclusive clip, Wallace is seeking advice from his friend Dalia (Megan Park), about whether or not to ask Chantry if she has any romantic feelings for him.

Dalia urges Wallace to open up to Chantry, telling him to examine both the pros and cons of such a conversation. Watch the clip to find out if "putting his junk inside her trunk" makes for the best- or worst-case scenario.

We think it's terribly exciting to see Daniel Radcliffe spiffed up in a suit, living in the world of Muggles and dealing with real-life problems like heartache and love. Radcliffe has really grown as an actor, unlike many child stars who grow up without honing their acting skills and simply relying on their fame. Radcliffe seems very comfortable in his own skin and has a soulful, geeky charm about him.

Harry Potter and MMA star David Legeno found dead >>

In Radcliffe's next project, he does a 180-degree turn and plays Igor in a new film version of Frankenstein, also starring James McAvoy as Victor Von Frankenstein and former Harry Potter pal Freddie Fox as Finnegan.

What If opens in theaters Aug. 8.

The new Doctor Who gets big welcome with theatrical release

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The new season of Doctor Who is almost here, and BBC America is planning to do it up in style.

Peter Capaldi's taken over for Matt Smith, and to celebrate our first look at the Twelfth Doctor, whose season begins on Aug. 23, BBC America is rolling out the red carpet with tons of special features for fans.

VIDEO: Doctor Who returns with an identity crisis >>

First up is the Doctor Who Takeover Week marathon beginning on Aug. 18, with a poll available to vote for your favorite episodes beginning on Aug. 6 to choose which ones will screen on the final day of the marathon. Comedian Chris Hardwick also will be hosting a live pre-and-post show before and after Capaldi's first episode, which is set to feature special guests (including writer Mark Gatiss) and plenty of behind-the-scenes footage.

BBC launches full Doctor Who teaser starring Peter Capaldi >>

The real excitement, though, is the live theatrical showings! The BBC is partnering up with Fathom Events to give fans an exciting experience to welcome the new Doctor on the big screen. Not all the details have been revealed yet, but there will be 12 viewings in 12 cities beginning at midnight on Aug. 23 (just in case you've forgotten that this is the Doctor's 12th regeneration) in celebration.

Doctor Who adds a new character: Will Clara get a new boyfriend? >>

A midnight viewing with other fans is the perfect way to show your Whovian pride, but just in case you miss the first round, the event spreads to 550 theaters throughout the country on Aug. 25, and there will be 15 minutes of exclusive content seen only by the lucky attendees. For information on where to buy tickets and to see which theaters are participating, check out Fathom Events.

There's always something a little bittersweet about saying goodbye to a favorite Doctor, but welcoming in the newest one is always a blast, and it's sure to be made better when surrounded by other fans.

Can't wait to see Peter Capaldi's take on the Doctor? The new season begins Aug. 23 on BBC America.

What we learned from Disney's Into the Woods trailer

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Into the Woods is Disney's adaptation of the 1986 Stephen Sondheim play by the same name. The box-office version brings us some of Hollywood's biggest players — Meryl Streep as the witch, Johnny Depp as the wolf, Anna Kendrick as Cinderella, Emily Blunt as the baker's wife and Chris Pine as Cinderella's prince.

Star Wars Episode VII script details leak: Read if you dare! >>

IMDb hints at the plot of Into the Woods with this description: "A witch conspires to teach important lessons to various characters of popular children's stories including Little Red Riding Hood, Cinderella, Jack and the Beanstalk and Rapunzel." Those of us not familiar with the play quickly gather from the teaser that this story mishmashes fairy tale characters — but that's about all it tells us.

Investigation reveals Disney employees arrested in child sex ring >>

Do we finally get to see these legendary characters on the other side of their fairy tales? Does Cinderella make the wicked stepmother and stepdaughters her slaves and then divorce the prince? The trailer leaves us wondering this and more. Where is Johnny Depp? Will younger audiences enjoy seeing their fairy tale heroes and heroines in such a dark tale? Will the Christmas release of this highly anticipated film be a blockbuster phenomenon for Disney or will it tank like Depp's The Lone Ranger?

See the trailer for yourself, but don't be surprised if you are a bit underwhelmed.

Dads respond to Frozen, and it's not what you expect >>

Disney Into the woods trailer

Disney Into the woods trailer

Mommy tweets: Gwen Stefani's breastfeeding selfie, Alicia Keys, Miranda Kerr

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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" lang="en"><p><a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/Switzerland?src=hash">#Switzerland</a> !!!!!<a href="http://t.co/76mK6n9987">http://t.co/76mK6n9987</a> <a href="http://t.co/ioRoWzJ6dm">pic.twitter.com/ioRoWzJ6dm</a></p>&mdash; Gwen Stefani (@gwenstefani) <a href="https://twitter.com/gwenstefani/statuses/492676546722004992">July 25, 2014</a></blockquote>

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Gwen Stefani

Gwen Stefani is one of the most recent celebrity moms to share a sweet breastfeeding selfie. The No Doubt singer (and new judge of The Voice) shared this photo of herself breastfeeding her 5-month-old son, Apollo Bowie Flynn, while staring at the gorgeous Swiss Alps in Switzerland.

Check out more celebrity mom breastfeeding selfies >>

Stefani and her husband, Gavin Rossdale, are spending some quality time together and she posted a snapshot with her husband of 12 years. No word if their other two sons, Kingston and Zuma, came along for the trip.

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" lang="en"><p>Vaca <a href="http://t.co/y3t7LjFpD9">http://t.co/y3t7LjFpD9</a> <a href="http://t.co/XwNDEmfVBu">pic.twitter.com/XwNDEmfVBu</a></p>&mdash; Gwen Stefani (@gwenstefani) <a href="https://twitter.com/gwenstefani/statuses/493407015885340672">July 27, 2014</a></blockquote>

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Alicia Keys

Surprise — Alicia Keys is pregnant for the second time. The singer posted this shot on her Instagram page as she cups her baby bump in a flowing white gown while standing next to her husband, Swizz Beatz.

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"Happy Anniversary to the love of my life@therealswizzz!!" she captioned the photo. "And to make it even sweeter we've been blessed with another angel on the way!! You make me happier than I have ever known! Here's to many many more years of the best parts of life!"

Eva Mendes is pregnant with Ryan Gosling's baby. Check out baby bump photos here >>

The 33-year-old singer and her husband are already parents to a 3-year-old son named Egypt. She shared this sweet photo of Egypt playing in the waves with the caption, "Man! This is freedom! His freedom is mine #blessings #seetheworldthroughachildseyes."

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No word how far along she is, but she appears to be well into her second trimester.

Miranda Kerr

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In case you missed it, Miranda Kerr's ex-husband Orlando Bloom took a swing at Justin Bieber at a restaurant after he reportedly made some comment about Kerr, resulting in the internet exploding with punch lines and theories as to what exactly was said.

We hopped over to Kerr's social media accounts for any clues as to her take on the situation. She posted a topless photo lying in her bed — and a sweet photo with her and Bloom's son, Flynn. Possible interpretation: I'm sexy enough to fight over... and I'm also a good mom.

In the meantime, we crown Jimmy Fallon's take on the entire situation the winner of the internet:

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" lang="en"><p>&quot;Orlando Bloom apparently threw a punch at Justin Bieber last night during an argument...&quot; <a href="http://t.co/dVMPIeozBN">http://t.co/dVMPIeozBN</a> <a href="http://t.co/DxB4ETJMYT">pic.twitter.com/DxB4ETJMYT</a></p>&mdash; Fallon Tonight (@FallonTonight) <a href="https://twitter.com/FallonTonight/statuses/494803651375169537">July 31, 2014</a></blockquote>

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Beyoncé

Beyoncé likes to use photos on her social media accounts to comment on what is going on in her private life. (Remember the photos after the Solange elevator fight incident?) She used the same strategy to address the rumors that she and Jay Z are divorcing by posting this sweet snapshot of her husband holding their daughter, Blue Ivy.

<iframe src="//instagram.com/p/rDL23uvwwy/embed/" width="612" height="710" frameborder="0" scrolling="no" allowtransparency="true"></iframe>

"My favorite hue is JayZ Blue," she captioned the photo.

'Nuff said.

You might also like

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Celeb moms' favorite swimsuits (and where to buy them)
Hottest celebrity dads on Instagram

Tips to help you stay fresh all day long

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Shower in the morning

I love showering in the morning because it really wakes me up instantly. Use soap or body wash with your favorite fragrance.

Apply lotion

You can get a scent that matches your body wash. Lotion will keep your skin soft and supple throughout the day.

Apply perfume

Dab in key areas like your neck, wrist, behind the knee and under your arms. You can also get a roll-on or travel-sized spray bottle of your favorite perfume so you can bring it with you in your purse or bag.

Stash it in your purse

Always on the run? It's a great idea to buy a travel-size deodorant and carry it with you (or leave it in your car). If you don't have time to wash your hair, use dry shampoo.

Stay hydrated

Always have a water bottle with you and try to drink at least 8 cups of water a day.

All day long beauty

If you want your makeup to last longer, apply a foundation primer and an eyeshadow primer. After you are done with your makeup, mist a setting spray all over your face.If you are feeling a little shiny or oily, use a translucent powder or some oil-absorbing sheets.

Simple tricks

Use white eyeliner on your bottom lashes to make your eyes look bigger and brighter. To look young and fresh, don't forget to apply blush on the apple of your cheeks. At night, never, never, never go to sleep with your makeup on. Use a makeup remover and a night cream.

Finally... remember that your best accessory is your smile.

How do you stay fresh and chic all day? Share your tips with us.

Disclosure: This post is part of a collaboration with Carefree and SheKnows. All opinions are my own.

Photo credit: ipag/ iStock/ 380/ getty images


VIDEO: Jimmy Fallon plays "Face Balls" with Julia Roberts

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Julia Roberts was his latest victim this week on The Tonight Show, and America's sweetheart participated in a lovely game of "Face Balls" with Fallon.

VIDEO: Jennifer Lopez, Jimmy Fallon do the tight-pants dance >>

Yes, they are very, very aware of how dirty it sounds.

In the innocent game, Fallon and Roberts take turns throwing clear inflatable balls of varying sizes at each other's faces. All the while, a camera records their close-up expressions as the ball hits.

Roberts is understandably nervous when it's her turn, and she even goes so far as to tell Fallon she's scared. This is the point where the host tells her he loves her and hopes she comes back. Her fear, however, is not enough to get Fallon to back down. He chucks the ball at Roberts.

VIDEO: Jimmy Fallon, Gov. Chris Christie are dancing dads >>

"I feel a Christmas card coming on," Roberts says as Fallon begins the slow-motion replay of the ball hitting her face.

Then the two upgrade and go again with larger clear, inflatable balls.

"I think I'm better handling big balls," Roberts says once Fallon pulls out the next level of the game.

"This is, like, the comedy version of Fifty Shades of Grey," Roberts says before Fallon hits her with his bigger ball.

VIDEO: Jimmy Fallon, Terry Crews in oily nip-sync battle >>

For the second time around, Roberts really tries to prepare herself to relax after her hilariously horrified expression during the first attempt. The duo uses the element of surprise, but Fallon throws a little more forcefully than expected, causing the audience to erupt in laughter. "Did I hurt you?" Fallon asks after embracing the actress. Roberts touches her tooth tentatively and then laughs, shaking her head.

The second slow-motion replay is by far the most hilarious. Roberts' lip gets stuck to the ball for a second, pulling it off the Normal Heart star's face. Her hair also flies in front of her pretty flawlessly.

Watch the full video below.

Julia Roberts on The Tonight Show

Julia Roberts on The Tonight Show

Garth Brooks and Trisha Yearwood are selling their Malibu home

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Garth Brooks and Trisha Yearwood

Photo credit: Zillow.com

Famous celebrity couple, Trisha Yearwood and Garth Brooks, are moving back to the heart of country. In a big move from Oklahoma to Nashville, the pair have also decided to sell their gorgeous Malibu retreat for a rumored $7.5 million.

Trisha Yearwood and Garth Brook: kitchen

Photo credit: Zillow.com

Remodeled in 2008, the beachy hued home is equipped with an extensive kitchen, four bedrooms including a large master suite, 3.5 bathrooms, white high-beamed ceilings, a basketball court and it's within walking distance of the pretty, blue California ocean.

Trisha Yearwood and Garth Brook: bathroom

Photo credit: Zillow.com

Among the many attractive amenities is this stunning master bathroom. Outfitted with a dual shower head and ridiculously amazing bathtub, this is the perfect sanctuary for any happy couple. Perhaps this is even where a few magical country love songs were penned.

Trisha Yearwood and Garth Brook: family room

Photo credit: Zillow.com

Exposed brick and white carpets make this family room the ideal sanctuary for relaxing and cuddling up after a warm day in the sun. The blue pallet walls scream serene, while the fireplace is the perfect setting for late night movies and laugh sessions. Although we may never understand the luxurious lives of celebrities, it's a wonder why the country couple would want to part with a lovely seaside home. Perhaps they are gearing up to buy a new sanctuary on a private island somewhere far, far away from the hassles of paparazzi and everyday life.

More in real estate

Renee Zellweger is selling her gorgeous country home
This old church transformed into a modern home
Transform any room into your new mom cave

VIDEO: Stephen Colbert gives girls the best advice ever

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While Colbert managed to insert several humorous snippets into his turn at Rookie magazine's "Ask a Grown Man" series, the comedic star still managed to answer some tough girl questions. Covering subjects like dating, harassment, parent issues and sex, Colbert gave it his all to offer his most sincere fatherly advice.

Stephen Colbert gets his own language >>

Colbert began giving his answers by thanking Rookie for seeing him as an adult. "I am very grateful for Rookie to consider me a grown man, thank you very much." Then he dove right into churning out his awesome words of wisdom.

The first question dealt with a 14-year-old girl who wanted to know why guys, who she knows aren't mostly jerks, make catcalls to girls and joke about rape. "Do they know their behavior is harmful?" Colbert wisely answered that they really don't know it can be hurtful to behave this way, but they are mostly doing it because they want attention. He also added that next time a boy does something insensitive she should face him and tell him to stop doing it.

Stephen Colbert responds to the #CancelColbert haters >>

Next, Colbert answered a question by a girl who wanted to know why her dad wouldn't let her sleep over her boyfriend's house. Granted, the girl is 19 years old, but The Colbert Report star hit it on the spot with his answer, which could have only come from a wise and concerned father. In addition to giving an honest answer as to why her dad won't let her have a sleepover at her boyfriend's house, he also addressed a legitimate matter. "Why are you still living at home? You're 19." He added that maybe she is not ready to be out in the world by herself just yet.

Stephen Colbert takes David Letterman's spot on Late Show >>

Other questions addressed included a girl wanting to know why her boyfriend is mean to her and lies to her, and what she should do about it. He said if the boy can't stop lying and start treating her nice, she should just "kick him to the curb!" with an added finger snapping. The last question covered the many ways one can tell that someone else likes them.

Watch the entire video and all of Colbert's answers on the video below — it's really awesome.

Stephen Colbert answers teen girl's questions

Stephen Colbert answers teen girl's questions

SpongeBob SquarePants is for adults, too: 25 Dirty jokes your kids didn't get

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Spongebob Dirty Joke 1

Spongebob Dirty Joke 1

I mean, they're stressing about "Makeout Reef" — this is not rocket science. But, in case you missed it, "hormonally stressed out teenagers" is code for horny adolescents.

Spongebob Dirty Joke 2

Spongebob Dirty Joke 2

Apparently, sailors know quite a few extra naughty words. Man, we're dying to know what they are — we bet Mr. Krabs could teach us a thing or two.

Spongebob Dirty Joke 3

Spongebob Dirty Joke 3

Ha-ha, Mr. Krabs kind of spells this one out for you. And, just like any perverted frat boy rifling through a lady's undergarments, the voyeurism gives the kinky crustacean a new lease on life.

Spongebob Dirty Joke 4

Spongebob Dirty Joke 4

I've watched this particular episode about a gazillion times with my two kids, so trust me when I say it is full of sexual innuendo and gender stereotypes from start to finish.

Spongebob Dirty Joke 5

Spongebob Dirty Joke 5

When Squidward quips, "Well, Mr. Krabs, it's that time of the month," and then points at a giant red blimp in the sky, it's not difficult to deduce they're joking about a woman's period — 'cause men always think that's so funny. Newsflash? It isn't.

The Muppets go for fame and potty humor in new movie trailer >>

Spongebob Dirty Joke 6

Spongebob Dirty Joke 6

They are in a bathroom. SpongeBob hands the soap to Gary, saying, "Don't drop 'em." Then he winks. Yep, this is most certainly your standard prison rape joke.

Spongebob Dirty Joke 7

Spongebob Dirty Joke 7

Between Patrick's prolonged pronunciation of "peanuts" and him suggestively licking what looks to be the side of SpongeBob's face (at first), we're fairly certain this cartoon's writer is a bit pervy.

Spongebob Dirty Joke 8

Spongebob Dirty Joke 8

I think we all know what it seems like SpongeBob and Patrick are doing here.

Spongebob Dirty Joke 9

Spongebob Dirty Joke 9

Sandy ponders a very important question here. "SpongeBob doesn't have hair... or does he?" She's totally talking about pubes, people.

Spongebob Dirty Joke 10

Spongebob Dirty Joke 10

Not only is there a lot of gratuitous tossing around of the word "wiener" in this clip, but check out SpongeBob's face when he says they need find something to blow up Mr. Krabs' wiener obsession. Wiener... blowing up... please don't make me take this further.

Spongebob Dirty Joke 11

Spongebob Dirty Joke 11

Remember that episode I said was full of sexual innuendo and gender stereotypes? Consider this Exhibit B. On the plus side, this might take the guesswork out of the whole "when to bring up the 'where do babies come from?' conversation" with your kids.

Miley Cyrus and cats: 10 Things they have in common >>

Spongebob Dirty Joke 12

Spongebob Dirty Joke 12

SpongeBob: "Bye, Squidward! Bye, Mr. Krabs! Bye, Squidward!" *giggle* Patrick: "You said, 'Bye, Squidward' twice." SpongeBob: "I like Squidward." We are not alone in thinking SpongeBob is acknowledging his major crush on his tentacled friend.

Spongebob Dirty Joke 13

Spongebob Dirty Joke 13

Watching a phalliclike sea anemone writhe in the currents is clearly adult entertainment for SpongeBob, who quickly tries to cover his tracks when Gary walks in the room by saying he was looking for the sports channel. Next thing you know, he'll be trying to convince Gary that he never ordered that channel, but they just keep running it inexplicably.

Spongebob Dirty Joke 14

Spongebob Dirty Joke 14

First of all, that was definitely a naked Patrick butt. Second of all, after seeing Patrick in all his naked glory, Squidward wants to take a shower, and Mr. Krabs wants to lock himself in his office. Infer what you will.

Spongebob Dirty Joke 16

Spongebob Dirty Joke 16

I think we've all had the "hard with a touch of awkward, easy, difficult, challenging way" at least once in our lives... so we know exactly what he means.

This is what it's like to watch Zenon: Girl of the 21st Century for the first time >>

Spongebob Dirty Joke 1

Spongebob Dirty Joke 1

SpongeBob keeps suggestively asking Mr. Krabs, "Are you feelin' it now?" as they're "riding." Then Patrick chimes in, "I'm feelin' it, SpongeBob." But he's not on the ride, he's on some random dude, who tells him to get off. To which Patrick responds in a sultry voice, "Oh, yeah." Just recapping that felt naughty.

Spongebob Dirty Joke 18

Spongebob Dirty Joke 18

Ladies, if I have to explain this one to you, someone in your life is doing something wrong.

Spongebob Dirty Joke 19

Spongebob Dirty Joke 19

OK, so this one isn't dirty, per se, but it is very adult. SpongeBob and Patrick are getting what you might call "chocolate wasted." See for yourself.

Spongebob Dirty Joke 20

Spongebob Dirty Joke 20

What this clip doesn't show is Squidward asking where the line ends. You know that twisted mollusk wants in on the 7-mile spanking machine.

Spongebob Dirty Joke 21

Spongebob Dirty Joke 21

If you close your eyes and listen to this, it's a whole different ball game. When "I know you're eager," "a nice specimen" and "firmly grasp it" are all in the same convo, you can safely assume they're alluding to sex.

Spongebob Dirty Joke 22

Spongebob Dirty Joke 22

Again, not a sex joke (although SpongeBob really does stretch out the word "pean-uts"), but kids aren't likely to catch the peanuts-in-the-bathroom shtick. Eww.

15 Things that make you laugh, and you don't even know why >>

Spongebob Dirty Joke 23

Spongebob Dirty Joke 23

On the surface, this is a fart joke. Then again, there's still no explanation for the bulge in Patrick's pants — a bulge made more suspicious by the shade SpongeBob is throwing at it.

Spongebob Dirty Joke 24

Spongebob Dirty Joke 24

Listen, anytime the Hoff is involved, whatever you're watching is going to be sexual innuendo. The Hoff is like a living, breathing incarnation of sexual innuendo.

Spongebob Dirty Joke 15

Spongebob Dirty Joke 15

Hello, peep show! "Live, nude pranksters"? A spotlight? Tawdry music? Catcalling? Yep, we're at some sort of cartoon burlesque show. P.S.: We're pretty sure Ms. Puff is going to go back to jail when they find out she's been taking naked pics of her students.

Guardians of the Galaxy is like Star Wars in exactly 6 ways

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Guardians of the Galaxy

Photo credit: Universal/WENN

1) Charming bad-boy pilots

There's no doubt that the newly trim and sexy Chris Pratt is channeling his inner Han Solo in his role as Peter Quill, or Star-Lord. Can you blame him? Harrison Ford was iconic in the original Star Wars trilogy and went on to become a household name.

Star Wars Episode VII script details leak: Read if you dare! >>

Guardians of the Galaxy

Photo credit: Universal/WENN

2) Funny and furry sidekicks

Rocket the Raccoon (voiced by Bradley Cooper), is adorable as the talking critter that wields a gun bigger than he is. Despite not really being able to speak English, Chewbacca could make vocalizations and the wily Wookie (Peter Mayhew), formed a close bond with Han Solo. Rocket is integral to Guardians and has a sharp sense of humor.

Guardians of the Galaxy's James Gun: Bonus clip during credits >>

Guardians of the Galaxy

Photo credit: Universal/WENN

3) Otherworldly hair buns

Many of us ladies can remember trying to sit still while our mothers attempted to recreate Princess Leia's (Carrie Fisher) side buns when we were little girls. We wonder how many moms will be attempting Nova Prime's (Glenn Close) wacky triple-loop coif next week. We're guessing you'll need a lot of hairspray for this one.

Guardians of the Galaxy

Photo credit: Universal/Roger Murmann, Future Image, WENN

4) Scary black face masks

I don't think there's a sci-fan fan alive who doesn't remember the moment when Luke Skywalker (Mark Hamill) removed Darth Vader's mask on film, revealing Vader's puffy, creepy pale face. In Guardians, there's another black mask but it's worn by the story's hero, Peter Quill, not the villain. We guess Chris Pratt needed something to help him appear intimidating.

Guardians of the Galaxy

Photo credit: Universal/WENN

5) Creatures going green

Gamora (Zoe Saldana) is a deadly, green-skinned assassin who has some pretty bada** fight scenes in the movie. Though very different from Star Wars' Yoda, we like the green look that invokes the archetype of aliens being little green men (and women).

Carrie Fisher lost 35 pounds for Star Wars: Episode VII role >>

Guardians of the Galaxy

Photo credit: Universal/WENN

6) Females in sexy outfits

Actress Karen Gillan plays the blue-skinned Nebula, who's also Gamora's sister. Gillan admits to shaving her head for the movie, telling fans at Comic Con, "I was totally liberated by the experience. It's a whole identity change and I felt it helped me inhabit the character." Though she's not showing as much skin as Princess Leia, we still think Nebula is super-hot.

Guardians of the Galaxy opens today.

Barknado: It's the Sharknado 2 spin-off you don't want to miss

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Barknado

Barknado

Although this video may seem as terrifying as its Sharknado counterpart, the concept behind ASPCA's adoption video is actually quite endearing. No thrilling, gut-wrenching scenes in this video; no, Barknado is all about love — dog love that is. As the friendly storm, Barknadomakes its way through the neighborhood, it picks up stray dogs and drops them off at new homes, noting that "the only way to stop it, is to adopt it." The ASPCA has released the video in hopes of spreading the word about pet adoption.

Visit their site to view the charming video on the ASPCA and make sure to share on your favorite social media site.

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10 Fast food items from around the world that make us go "hmm"

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Sure, we have some rather weird options to choose from, like the Crunchwrap Supreme or the infamous KFC Double Down, but places like China, Thailand, Dubai and Japan are giving us a run for our money. Wasabi taco or foie gras burger, anyone?

1. Rice congee, KFC, China

Rice congee, KFC, China

Photo credit: KFC

Nothing goes better with a big bucket o' fried chicken than a side dish of... rice congee? For those who don't know, this Chinese staple is basically a porridge made with vegetables, pork, pickles and preserved eggs. This dish is one of the reasons KFC dominates Mickey D's in the marketplace in most Asian countries.

2. Green tea Blizzards, Dairy Queen, Thailand

Green tea blizzards, Dairy Queen, Thailand

Photo credit: Famous Chris

You know you're in Thailand when you pull up to the local Dairy Queen and the special is a green tea Blizzard. Forget Oreo cookie chunks and M&M's. In Thailand they do their junk food ice cream right — with a whole batch of antioxidants. Finally, an ice cream dessert you can feel good about!

3. Wasabi cheese and seaweed cheese doughnuts, Dunkin' Donuts, Singapore

Wasabi cheese & seeweed doughnuts, Dunkin' Donuts, Singapore

The cronut was so last week, at least in Singapore. Here at Dunkin' Donuts, patrons can stock up on boxes of wasabi cheese and seaweed doughnuts with their morning cups of joe. If you think this sounds disgusting (we're with you), don't dare breathe that when you're in line. Singaporeans love these doughnuts, and they are a staple on most DD menus.

4. Sprout Surprise Whopper, Burger King, U.K.

Sprout King

Sprout King

If you want your kids to never ask for Burger King again, then take them to a BK in the United Kingdom, and order the Sprout Surprise. This "burger" features a breaded disc made entirely of Brussels sprouts, sandwiched between the normal Whopper fare, like lettuce, tomatoes and special sauce.

5. McAloo Tikki, McDonald's, India

McAloo Tikki, McDonalds, India

Photo credit: McDonald's

McDonald's isn't exactly known for its vegetarian options, at least not in the U.S. However, in India, the McAloo Tikki — a potato-and-bean breaded patty — is one of the most popular options on its fast food menu. Don't worry, it has a "special sauce" to go with it. We can't promise that's entirely vegetarian, though.

6. Chicken McDo with McSpaghetti, McDonald's, Philippines

Chicken McDo with spaghetti, McDonalds, Philippines

Photo credit: McDonald's

There's nothing worse than having a craving for chicken and spaghetti at the same time and not having a way to satisfy both. I mean, we've all been there, right? Well, if you live in the Philippines, this issue won't ever happen to you, because McDonald's there sells something known as the Chicken McDo with McSpaghetti. This plate gives you a helping of spaghetti and a crispy chicken drumstick at the same time.

7. Crown Crust Carnival Cheeseburger Pizza, Pizza Hut, Dubai

Cheeseburger pizza

Cheeseburger pizza

When you see a photo of the Crown Crust Carnival Cheeseburger Pizza, you automatically assume it's an American creation. Who else would create a pizza topped with cheeseburger ingredients and then nestle mini burger patties into the crown-shaped crust? Surely no other country! Well, sadly our influence has spread, because this insane concoction is a favorite in Dubai.

8. Foie Gras burger, Wendy's, Japan

Foie Gras burger, Wendy's, Japan

Photo credit: Wendy's

Even though you can't find the Foie Gras burger at any Wendy's locations in Japan today, it did exist there for over a year. The goose liver pâté burger was topped with fancy cheeses and other high-end ingredients, and sold for over $16 in some of Japan's luxury shopping districts. This is not a burger with which you'd want a simple side order of fries. Maybe some crispy fried truffles instead?

9. Tuna pie, Jollibee, Philippines

Tuna pie, Jollibee, Philippines

Photo credit: Jollibee

You know how people go crazy for the McRib here in the U.S.? In the Philippines, they go crazy for another savory delight — the tuna pie, sold exclusively at Jollibee stores. This little hand pie is stuffed with cooked tuna and vegetables and is served only a few times throughout the year. And now, thanks to locations in a few U.S. states (California, New York, Nevada, Washington and Hawaii), you can buy this fishy pie without dealing with customs forms.

10. The Double Down, KFC, U.S.

The Double Down, KFC, US

Photo credit: KFC

We can't rank a fast food list without including one U.S. atrocity, and what better than the (thankfully) short-lived Double Down? This "sandwich" was filled with bacon and cheese and then stuffed between two deep-fried "chicken buns." This is arguably one of the strangest, most disgusting and most unique fast food item out there. And we can thank the good ol' U.S. of A. for that one.

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The scariest words you'll read today: $1,100 Dior running shoes

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This fantasy-come-true is brought to you by Karl Lagerfeld in the form of his new Dior couture gym shoes. And fashion insiders are predicting the shoes are going to be a huge hit. In fact, Style Bubble called them "the ultimate culmination of high fashion copulating with street wear." You hear that? These shoes are The Ultimate.

At first glance, you may think your traditional Nikes do just fine on their own and that you do not need lace, glitter or rhinestones to get your run on. But it's a proven fact (that I just made up) that fancy feet are faster feet. So if you're interested in spicing up your gym wardrobe and have a couple of grand to drop, you're in luck as the Dior sneaks come in two varieties. The lace-covered athletic shoes can only be purchased as part of an entire outfit, price on request. (So your shoes won't clash with your tea dress? I guess?) But the simpler bedazzled shoes can be bought by any old plebeian with enough cash.

Dior bedazzled sneakers on the runway

Photo credit: Jessica Hromas/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty Images

But is this just a case of the emperor having no (cute) clothes or is fashion finally coming to its senses and giving us something to make up for decades of torturing our tootsies with stilettos? Since I haven't tried them out I can't speak to their comfort. (Call me, Karl!) But I daresay they would be an improvement for any lady who intends to do anything in their shoes besides walk or stand still.

Yet I can't help but wonder if there really is a niche for couture athletic shoes. Sure we've been seeing copies of the Isabel Marant hidden-wedge high tops bopping around cities for a couple of years now. Are hybrid sneakers really going to be a thing now? And if so, when will we see Sketchers jump on this trend? Oh wait, they already have. And these even light up. If only they came in adult sizes.

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PHOTO: Check out Avril Lavigne's 17-carat anniversary gift

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The Canadian rocker showed off her new present on Twitter with a photo of herself, Kroeger and the huge sparkler with a caption that read, "I still can't believe my 1 year anniversary gift. 17 carat emerald cut. Wow. I love my hubby."

Avril Lavigne tweets support for ex-husband Deryck Whibley >>

Avril Lavigne Chad Kroeger

Photo credit: Avril Lavigne/Twitter

The ring, which is super-massive, is set on a platinum band and complements the pear-shaped diamond Kroeger proposed to Lavigne with. But this new 17-carat beauty is not the biggest the singer got from her husband, People magazine reported. On their wedding day, the bride was given a 20-carat emerald ring.

Lavigne and Kroeger famously tied the knot at the Château de la Napoule in the French Riviera after an 11-month engagement. The "Girlfriend" singer wore a black lace Monique Lhuillier gown with a bouquet made of black roses.

The lovebirds first got together while recording their collaborating album, not long after Lavigne divorced her first husband, Sum 41 singer Deryck Whibley, in 2010. The two have been happy ever since and often speak about their close relationship.

Is Chad Kroeger's suckiness rubbing off on Avril Lavigne? >>

"We don't go more than two weeks without seeing each other," Lavigne told People magazine last year.

Kroeger added that they don't go out drinking without each other to avoid any potential bad situations. "This is something we cherish and protect."

After nearly two years together, Lavigne and Kroeger have expressed interest in having children together someday, but for now they are too busy working. Lavigne is set to kick off her Japan concert at Zepp Nagoya Aug. 13, which will be her first in that country since her controversial Japanese-themed Hello Kitty music video that was deemed racist by many fans.

Meanwhile, Kroeger and his band Nickelback are in the stages of planning their upcoming 2015 tour.

Jennifer Lawrence and Nicholas Hoult split?

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According to a source who spoke exclusively with E! News, the split was "very amicable" and came because of the couple's busy filming schedules.

"They spent a lot of time apart because of work and it was difficult on their relationship," the source added.

VIDEO: Jennifer Lawrence was totally wasted at the Oscars >>

Hoult is currently in Japan filming Equals opposite Kristen Stewart. Though Stewart cleared up any idea of romance rumors months ago, the two were spotted enjoying sushi together at a market this week. The photo was snapped by a sneaky Twitter user who posted the pictures, which Perez Hilton shared. It could just be a friendly lunch between costars, but now that the actor is back on the market by the sounds of it, we can't help but wonder if the friendly hangouts between the two on set could lead to something more.

Lawrence, meanwhile, is gearing up for The Hunger Games: Mockingjay — Part 1, which comes out this November. The trailer was just released at Comic-Con and more press will, no doubt, follow in the upcoming months. The actress also has quite a few films in the works for the upcoming year. Lawrence is set to play the title character in director David O. Russell's (Silver Linings Playbook, American Hustle) upcoming project Joy.

X-Men's extra scene post-credits: What does it mean? >>

Hoult and Lawrence first met on the set of X-Men: First Class back in 2011 and began dating. The couple briefly ended their relationship for a few months in 2013, but rekindled their romance while filming X-Men: Days of Future Past together.

We can't help but wonder if they'll be able to stay away from one another when the third X-Men movie, X-Men: Apocalypse, begins filming. Perhaps we haven't seen the last of Lawrence and Hoult together after all. At least, we can hope.

15 Signs you're actually on a date

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OK, wait. Not "asked you out," per se. More like asked if you want to get Saturday brunch at the last second, if you'd be up for a Starbucks run on your break or if you'd want to attend a mutual friend's party together? And, if so, second question: Was it a date?

According to a recent online survey conducted by J-Date and Christian Mingle published in USA Today, nearly 70 percent of singles have been confused about whether their one-on-one time would be considered a hangout or a date. Because sometimes, when someone asks you to get together, the question rolls off the tongue so casually it's unclear whether intentions are romantic or platonic.

That said, you can at least watch for signs you're on a good, old-fashioned date. Here, we tapped a couple of dating experts to share their wisdom.

1. He is specific

He has a day, time and activity in mind for you. "He doesn't just say, 'Hey, wanna hang out tomorrow?'" says dating expert Julie Spira.

2. He insists on paying

He will categorically refuse the offer to split the check. "A majority of men, even nowadays, still think that a guy should pick up the check on a first date, so if he does this, it's often a sign that he sees it as a date," says dating expert Neely Steinberg, author of Skin in the Game: Unleashing Your Inner Entrepreneur to Find Love.

3. He keeps it just the two of you

"If he wants alone time as opposed to asking you to meet up with him and his friends, it's a sign that he considers it a date," says Steinberg.

4. He makes an effort with his physical appearance

Nice clothes, coiffed hair, a spritz of cologne, trim fingernails... if he's attracted to you, he'll want you to be attracted to him.

5. He's flirty and playful

If it feels like he's in bro-mode? Not a date. "Watch for lingering eye contact, playful smiles, open and positive body language," says Steinberg. "It'll be pretty obvious if he's trying to flirt with you versus if it's a buddy-buddy connection."

6. He touches you

He may try to hold your hand, touch the small of your back or just brush your arm in conversation. "And he might try to kiss you at the end of the date instead of a hug while turning his face the other way," says Spira.

7. He's chivalrous

He'll likely be extra sure to open doors, carry things, offer a jacket in a cold restaurant or walk you to your car or hail a cab for you at the end of the evening, says Spira.

8. He doesn't push for a hookup

Spira says if he's looking at you in a true, romantic light, he's not going to press for sex immediately. He'll take it slow.

9. He's nervous

If he's pulling out all the stops for you and unsure if you'll reciprocate his feelings, he's bound to freak out just a little on date day. "Guys want to impress a woman on a date, and with that objective in mind often comes a bit of anxiety," says Steinberg. "If you can sense some anxiousness, you're probably on a date."

10. His iPhone stays in his pocket

If he's texting his friends or answering work calls, he's not trying to show you that he's taking your time together seriously. "If he keeps his phone in his pocket the entire time you're out, it's definitely a sign he wanted to use the time to get to know you more than just a friend," says Steinberg.

11. He does not talk about other women

If he sees you as a friend, there's a chance he'll ask for a female perspective on his dating life. If he sees you as a potential match, he won't want you to feel insecure by competition, says Spira.

12. He brings a small gift

If he brings flowers or that book he recommended you read last week, he wants you to know he's thinking of you. "It's a token of his admiration for you," Steinberg says.

13. He sends a post-date text

He will sow the seed of future meetups. "He may send you a text message after the date saying he had a great time with you and would like to see you again," says Spira.

14. He compliments your appearance

He will want to boost your self-esteem and let you know he's attracted to you, both signs of romantic intent. "In non-dating situations, guys don't freely offer these types of affirmations," says Steinberg.

15. He introduces you carefully

Spira says to pay attention if you happen to run into someone he knows. He won't want to send a mixed signal here. "He'll introduce you as his date, and not just a friend or someone he's hanging out with," she says.

The more signs he shows, the more likely it is you're on a date. Spira says to watch for clues you're not on a date, too, which include a handshake or a wimpy hug at the end of the night, bringing friends around, splitting the check, inquiries for dating advice or tons of talk about sex and his ex. Remember that if it's a date, he'll want to put his best foot forward.

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Eager Guardians of the Galaxy fans horrified when theaters play wrong movie

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Guardians of the Galaxy

Last night, at the midnight show of the widely anticipated opening of Guardians of the Galaxy, fans planted their bums firmly in their seats, positioned their popcorn, Red Vines and sodas and settled in for their 3-D adventure starring Chris Pratt.

Guardians of the Galaxy is like Star Wars in exactly 6 ways >>

Let's be clear, this audience wasn't comprised of just regular old Marvel fans. These were the hardcore superhero freaks who waited in line to see the two-hour movie at midnight, despite having to be at work the next morning. The anticipation in the room must have been electric.

We can only imagine the sheer horror and anger the audience collectively experienced when instead of this summer space-travel blockbuster, the 2012 kids' flick Rise of the Guardians began to play. How could Regal Theaters get this so wrong?

Guardians of the Galaxy's James Gunn: Bonus clip during credits adds "entire new element to the Marvel universe" >>

If you don't remember Rise of the Guardians, it was DreamWorks' mediocre animated tale featuring winter wizard Jack Frost (Chris Pine), a spring holiday Bunny (Hugh Jackman) and a fairy called Tooth (Isla Fisher).

OK. So both the titles have the word Guardians in them, but considering the movie theater presumably had the correct title online and on the marquis, we're scratching our heads trying to figure out how this could have happened.

So how did the audience respond? They took to social media, of course. One audience member tweeted:

Guardians tweet #1

Guardians tweet #1

Another tweeted:

Guardians tweet #2

Guardians tweet #2

What's so weird is that the mix-up happened more than once. It's unclear if the correct film ever did show for the angry viewers, but hopefully Regal Cinemas calmed nerves by offering free movie tickets and unlimited snacks to those who were unintentionally baited and switched.

Guardians of the Galaxy stars Chris Pratt as Peter Quill, Zoe Saldana as the green-skinned Gamora and the voice of Bradley Cooper as Rocket the Raccoon. It's hopefully playing today at a theater near you.

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