Chicago has always been a hot spot for pop-up restaurants that cater to cult followings. Remember when Replay Lincoln Park opened a pop-up bar designed around The Office this past summer? The bar had life-size cutouts of your favorite Office characters, it had Office-themed drinks — it was great! 

And now the chef and owners of Chicago diner Miss Ricky’s, located inside Virgin Hotels Chicago, are making it very clear that they're huge fans of the movie Elf, just like the rest of us.

One of the most popular scenes from the now-classic film shows Buddy the Elf (Will Ferrell) chowing down on a sickly sweet dish: spaghetti topped with syrup, cookies, candies and other sweets. According to Food & Wine, Miss Ricky’s added that dessert spaghetti to its menu to honor Elf's 15th anniversary.

Topped with s’mores Pop-Tarts, Oreos, Fruity Pebbles, coconut and M&Ms and drizzled with syrup plus chocolate, strawberry and raspberry sauces, the dish was dubbed Spaghetti Sundae by Miss Ricky’s Executive Chef Moosah Reaume. It’s $15 and will be served at the Chicago diner through Dec. 25.

"You definitely can’t eat the whole thing," the marketing manager at Miss Ricky's told The Daily Meal. "But as a shareable item, it’s a treat."

If you’re in the Chicago area and want to stick to the four main food groups this holiday season — candy, candy canes, candy corn and syrup — then Miss Ricky's is the place to be. 

With all of the rules and regulations currently in place, air travel can be frustrating. If you are one of the 15 million Americans with a food allergy, it can be extra stressful. The good news is that one airline is hoping to make the process a little easier. American Airlines will soon allow early boarding for passengers with peanut allergies.

American Airlines passed the new regulation on Tuesday, and the policy will take effect on Dec. 12, when the company's flight-service manuals are updated.

A spokesperson for American told Today the reason for the change was simple: "Customers with nut allergies who would like to board flights early to wipe down surfaces may ask to do so at the gate... [because while] we do not serve peanuts in flight, we can’t guarantee our customers won’t be exposed to peanuts or other tree nuts during their trip. We strongly encourage those with allergies to take all necessary medical precautions before flying."

American is not the first airline to offer this accommodation. Delta also allows early boarding to travelers with nut allergies, and in July, Southwest announced it was no longer serving peanuts due to allergy concerns.

That said, it is nearly impossible to ensure a locale is allergy-free — specifically a small, tightly packed space like an airplane. However, this simple accommodation is sure to make a difference for many nut-free flyers.

After years of an on-again, off-again relationship, Meg Ryan and John Mellencamp are officially in it for the long haul — and she's got the engagement ring to prove it! Ryan was spotted wearing a shiny new ring on Halloween, and she confirmed the news via an Instagram post on Thursday.

Rather than posting a photo of her ring or a photo of her with Mellencamp, Ryan opted to post a Tim Burton-esque doodle of the two, with Mellencamp's figure holding a guitar in one hand. She captioned the drawing, simply, "ENGAGED!"

According to Entertainment Tonight, Ryan and Mellencamp rekindled their relationship in 2017 after two years apart. They originally began dating in 2010 but broke things off a few years later. In March 2017, Mellencamp went on Howard Stern's SiriusXM radio show, per ET, and revealed that things weren't great between the pair after their breakup.

"Oh, women hate me. I loved Meg Ryan," he said at the time. "She hates me to death."

Mellencamp also took responsibility for the animosity: "I think it’s because I’m a child. I throw fits, I gripe, I complain. I’m moody. Every bad thing that a fella can be, that’s me.”

Just a few months later, in July 2017, a source told ET that the couple had reunited. 

This isn't the first time walking down the aisle for either Ryan or Mellencamp. She was married to Dennis Quaid for nine years and had one son with him, Jack Quaid. Mellencamp has been married three times and has five children of his own.

On Christmas 2017, Ryan and Mellencamp attended a Knicks game with Jack and Mellencamp's son Hud, per Page Six — so their families clearly aren't strangers, which is great. 

As to when Ryan and Mellencamp will say their vows, it's too early to say, but we suspect — given how private they both tend to be — that the wedding won't be a public event.

Need a new superhero? We found one who's got all the Marvel and DC superheroes beat. 

Jaime Sloan, an active duty Air Force airman from Arizona, realized she was on her way to a personal best in her Ironman 70.3 — so instead of pumping breast milk for her 7-month-old son at a rest stop, she decided to pump while she ran. We are on our knees. Check out this Fox News video clip about her badass mothering.

The mom of two trained for October's Ironman 70.3, a hardcore fitness challenge including a 1.2-mile swim, a 56-mile bike, and a 13.1-mile run, all in grueling succession.

More: Rep-Elect Lucy McBath Ran and Won After Murder of Her Son

Kennedy News and Media reported that Sloan had been challenged by a scant breast milk supply, so she was prepared to pump for her son in between the cycling and swimming phases of the race.

“I was thinking I might even be able to make it through the whole race without pumping. But I knew that this particular day would be a longer one and I wasn’t quite sure how it was going to go,” she said.

“I just thought, ‘I’m just going to do it on my run,’” Sloan continued. “I figured that coming off the bike would be the best time to do it as my legs would be tired anyway, and I would probably want to walk a little bit. I’ve always found a way of incorporating pumping into my training schedule. I used to ride my bike to a bike path and then sit there and pump and then get right on my bike.”

The crowd cheered on Sloan — even two men who initially thought she was injured and that her breast pump coverup was a wound dressing of some sort. “But once they looked down and saw my pump, they were like ‘Oh, OK!’ Everybody I’ve spoken to and everybody who has seen it has said, ‘Wow that’s great!’” she said.

Twitter was mad impressed.

Twitter also has its share of detractors, like this (cough, male) troll:

Sloan was modest about her accomplishment. Kennedy News and Media also reported that she said, “To be honest, it was a little bit awkward, just because I was so tired from the ride and the swim. I was trying to get it going, and there were people everywhere and I was trying not to flash them. I was nervous at first that I would get some weird looks or even get disqualified due to nudity, but I did my best to cover up and make it work... it was really windy and the cloth I had over my top was kind of blowing around. I was able to run for a while and then the milk started spilling out.”

More: 5 Outdoor Activities to Keep Your Kids Active When Weather Cools Down

Sloan also beat her personal best by 30 minutes. 

“I hope that it can encourage other women and mothers and really anyone who has a lot going on in their lives,” she said of her achievement. “There’s always a way that you can make it happen; you might have to get a little creative from time to time. No matter what, if someone believes they can do something, they can make it happen because it is possible.”

Jaime Sloan, you complete us. Congrats on the personal best — and on some seriously amazing momming.

As the #MeToo and Time's Up movements continue to make their mark on Hollywood and beyond, storylines that have gained notoriety on shows like Grey's Anatomy are now being reconsidered in a new light. In fact, showrunner Krista Vernoff doesn't think one of the show's main romances would even work the way it was originally told if it was written into the script today.

In an interview with the Los Angeles Times published on Wednesday, Vernoff admitted that the romance between Derek (Patrick Dempsey), who was killed off in 2015, and Meredith (Ellen Pompeo) would have to be presented differently in today's cultural landscape.

“If you look at, for example, Meredith Grey and Derek Shepherd through the lens of Time’s Up and #MeToo, he was her boss, she was an intern, and she kept saying, ‘No, walk away from me,’ and he kept pursuing her, and that is probably not a story we would tell on the show today, and it’s a beautiful reflection of the changing times,” Vernoff said.

For season 15, currently airing, Vernoff and the other writers on Grey's are taking lessons learned from this cultural shift to heart. Since there is a developing love triangle that involves Meredith and DeLuca (Giacomo Giannotti), who's a resident and therefore lower on the feeding chain at Grey Sloane Memorial Hospital, Vernoff is receptive to which dynamics have to be considered as the story unfolds.

“This season, we’re doing a little bit of a reversal as we begin to build this love triangle that’s emerging with DeLuca as one the people in that triangle, and he is a resident and Meredith is an attending, and we’re having to address it differently than we ever would have before,” Vernoff told the L.A. Times.

She continued, “We’re having to talk about and look at power dynamics. It is an ongoing conversation in the writer’s room. How do we tell that story in a way that feels honest and romantic and sexy and yet proactive and progressive?”

Grey's Anatomy has long been a harbinger of change in the primetime TV game under the direction of creator Shonda Rhimes and now under Vernoff's fearless leadership. The fact that the show has stayed so popular throughout its 15 seasons so far points to how carefully the writers do take into account the way times are changing. They always have a finger on the pulse of the moment.

After Carrie Underwood took a scary fall on the steps of her home in November 2017 and had to have surgery on her broken wrist, plus over 40 facial stitches, she told fans that she might look different when she returned to public life. In a new interview one year after her accident, Underwood has also revealed other lasting effects that go beyond the physical.

In an interview with Vulture published on Thursday, Underwood opened up about how her fall affected her singing voice, which made recording her new album especially tough.

"I felt like the differences were more in my head than they were in anybody else’s that would listen to the things I was doing," Underwood said, reflecting on the recording process for Cry Pretty, released Sept. 14. "I had wanted to be in the studio sooner than I was, actually recording these songs, but I had stitches inside my mouth, outside my mouth. It was physically impossible."

When Underwood was physically able to get into the studio, she said, "it was a mind game: 'Do I sound the same? Is my diction the same? Does my mouth move the same as it did before?' I would sing something and then look at David [Garcia, Underwood's co-producer for Cry Pretty] and be like, 'Did that all come out clearly?'" 

Garcia would reassure Underwood that she sounded "great," she told Vulture, but she also said her "m's and b's and p's were kind of the issue." Although she was worried about how she sounded, she didn't hire a vocal coach — "I don’t like it when people try to tell me how to sing, because it should be natural."

Now that the accident and most of the healing is behind her, Underwood said she's started to accept that her voice won't always sound the same. "Things change just as you get older; your muscles change," she said. "I kind of expect I’m not always going to sound like I’m 22 coming off of American Idol. Hopefully I get better."

One year later, it certainly seems like Underwood has moved on from her accident. She has a new album, a massive tour and another baby on the way. We're happy to see her thriving.

The Pearson family from This Is Us really are as close off-screen as they are on. From their infamous group text to writing music with each other's significant others, we are so here for this cast's extended-found-family vibe.

According to Entertainment Tonight, This Is Us star Chris Sullivan (who plays Toby) is currently writing music with Taylor Goldsmith, who just so happens to be engaged to Mandy Moore (who plays Rebecca). 

"Taylor Goldsmith and I hit it off big time, and so we started writing some songs together," Sullivan told ET in an interview published Thursday. "I had been writing some songs with another friend of mine and writing some on my own. And obviously Taylor is one of the world's greatest living songwriters."

Sullivan said that he and his wife, Rachel Reichard, have sung at "five or six" friends' weddings, though he has yet to be invited to perform at Moore and Goldsmith's upcoming nuptials. 

He also gave an update on the This Is Us group text mentioned above: "The group text is alive and well. We've kind of settled into our family life and kind of just enjoy showing up for work, doing the job, telling the stories."

Sullivan's character is battling depression and has dealt with struggling to conceive a child with his wife, Kate (played by Chrissy Metz). The seriousness of the plotlines on This Is Us, including Sullivan's, can prompt major tears from the audience — but he thinks that's a good thing.

"People have to cry," Sullivan told ET. "I think inherently [This Is Us] shows people that there is work to be done in their lives. There's something about the show they connect with, there's something about the relationships they identify with. And if they're having an emotional reaction to these fictional relationships, then maybe there's something to be investigated there."

Several members of the This Is Us cast have flexed their vocal cords for a song or two on the show, but we're curious to see what kind of music Sullivan has been writing with Goldsmith.

The opioid crisis in America is so severe that it was declared a public health emergency by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services last year. As of March 2018, more than 115 people die each day from an opioid overdose. But there's another sobering statistic that isn't discussed quite as often: The number of people with opioid addictions who are giving birth has quadrupled over the past 15 years. 

Why is this happening?

The short answer is, of course, the opioid crisis has continued to surge each year. 

"In the 1970s, opioids were not a popular pain treatment," Dr. Sameer Awsare, physician and associate executive director of The Permanente Medical Group, tells SheKnows. "Doctors were taught to prescribe opioids in very low doses unless a person was nearing death." 

But doctors' attitudes about opioids began to shift in the 1980s. Awsare explains that two brief articles published in medical journals — one was a letter to the editor and the other was a study of just 38 people — formed "the foundation of the belief that opioids had a low potential for addiction."

The effects of this faulty foundation were far-reaching. Awsare tells SheKnows that by the 1990s, it was believed that opioids had low potential for addiction and that pain was being undertreated. And so doctors prescribed opioids liberally, thus laying the foundation for an addiction crisis.

Dr. David Garry, director of maternal fetal-medicine at Stony Brook Medicine Department of Obstetrics, Gynecology and Reproductive Medicine, tells SheKnows the vast majority of opioid addictions begin with a prescription. When the prescription runs out and doctors will no longer refill it, both men and women who have developed an addiction will seek it out in other ways, first buying the pills and eventually turning to heroin when cost becomes a concern. 

"The difference between men and women, of course, is that women with addictions become pregnant," Garry says. "And just because they became pregnant doesn’t mean they can automatically just stop." 

How does it affect a woman's pregnancy & birth?

For pregnant people who have become addicted to heroin, it's important to note that dealers often lace the drug with other drugs, such as cocaine, PCP and methamphetamines, Garry explains. But the most potent drug that's mixed with heroin is fentanyl, which is a huge part of the reason opioid-related deaths have spiked recently. 

Today, opioid overdoses are one of the leading causes of what's called "pregnancy-associated maternal mortality" — a term that refers to the deaths of pregnant people that aren't related to the pregnancy itself (other examples are car accidents, homicides and suicides). 

When a person with an opioid addiction gives birth, their baby will withdraw. "They’ve been exposed to opioids because the drugs cross the placenta," Garry explains. "The newborns have a similar opioid level as their mothers." 

The babies' withdrawal is first treated by limiting the stimulation around them — for example, babies going through withdrawals are kept in darker, quieter areas than other newborns, Garry says. Next, doctors observe factors such as their movements, how they cry and how they feed in order to reach a score that determines whether the baby needs morphine, he adds. If that's the case, small drops of morphine are administered. 

When it comes to long-term effects, it depends on the extent of the mother's opioid use. Garry says that if a person was on prescription opioids without any other drugs mixed in and they haven't gone through withdrawals, "the long term outcome appears to not be that different than a pregnancy that was unexposed to opioids."  

Unfortunately, it's a different story if heroin and repetitive withdrawals were involved. "If a woman is using heroin and she uses and withdraws repeatedly, the fetus is withdrawing with the mother," Garry explains. "We think that repetitive withdrawal may have long-term implications for developmental delays." 

What are the solutions? 

First and foremost, Garry emphasizes the importance of not overprescribing opioids because it can easily lead to the slippery slope of addiction. He tells SheKnows it's crucial for physicians to be educated about the issue and know how to verbally screen patients before prescribing opioids. 

For people who have opioid addictions, it's incredibly important to recognize it's an illness and treat it as such. "One of the main things is recognizing that addiction is a disease and punishments are not an effective means of treating that disease," Dr. Deborah Ansley, physician and medical director for the Early Start Program in The Permanente Medical Group, tells SheKnows. “The best thing you can do is provide nonjudgmental support and easy access to supportive programs." 

Ansley also says it's important for pregnant people and new parents to be able to seek treatment without fear of immediately having their baby taken away. "California is the only state where it's not legal for children’s services to take away a child from a mother for a positive drug test alone," she says. "While a positive drug test does lead to further assessment of the safety of the home situation for the baby, the test alone does not mandate removal of the child from the parent and the home."

This tactic means the pregnant individuals may be more likely to seek treatment. Unsurprisingly, Ansley says when states punish people for drug use during pregnancy, they will opt out of prenatal care for fear of drug detection and subsequent punishment. "Not only can this lead to worse outcomes for the mothers and the babies, but it also doesn’t help her to get treatment for her drug-use disorder," Ansley tells SheKnows. 

As the insight from these doctors shows, it's crucial to treat opioid addiction for what it is — an illness, not a character flaw or a sign of weakness. Breaking down the stigma surrounding drug addiction will benefit both the mothers and their children and increase the chances they'll live happy, healthy lives together. 

If you're worried about filling the void that Netflix's Orange Is the New Black will leave when the show wraps up with its seventh and final season in 2019, you're not alone. However, there's potentially good news for diehard fans: A spinoff of this smash hit series may be in the works, which would definitely stave off post-OITNB sadness.

According to The Hollywood Reporter, Lionsgate TV Group chairman Kevin Beggs told reporters on Thursday that the studio is considering a possible OITNB sequel, which would likely follow current characters from the show.

"We're really proud of the long run that Orange Is the New Black had," Beggs said, per THR. "It remains one of Netflix's most-watched shows. We're ending on a high note. Keep in mind we own that series and will be distributing it for years to come. We're already in discussions and, when the timing is right, we'll talk further with Jenji [Kohan, series creator] about a potential sequel."

Sources close to Lionsgate told THR that a spinoff or sequel idea has been discussed for some time, though there are no immediate plans for anything concrete. 

Meanwhile, OITNB executive producer Tara Herrmann told THR after the season six finale that the writing team had discussed spinoff ideas as well. She said they even floated the idea for a Broadway musical, which would certainly be a change from the often dark, gritty prison drama.

However, Hermann also said she didn't want to expand on the world much before the show comes to its actual conclusion: "We want people to pay attention to the show we’re making, not a musical number with Piper and Alex. But that could happen in the future — who knows!"

Given the continued popularity of Orange Is the New Black, it would make sense for Lionsgate to strike some kind of deal for a new series based in the same universe. As noted by THR, sequels are in high demand right now — which is why networks like HBO are developing multiple spinoffs from their most lucrative properties. We wouldn't say no to more time with the characters of OITNB, but we are curious about the shape that might take.

Working at a breast pump company, I heard all the triumphs and challenges that come along with breastfeeding and pumping. The triumphs include inspirational stories from moms who achieved their breastfeeding goals and were fully supported at work. But the challenges include stories from moms who have been forced to pump in their cars or in storage closets. These stories are heartbreaking, and they're all too common. 

It shouldn’t be this way. Multiple studies have shown that breastfeeding provides many benefits to Baby and Mom, especially moms who can breastfeed for at least six months. We as a society are telling moms it's good to breastfeed, but with more and more breastfeeding moms returning to work, are our words backed up with adequate support?

Does Mom know her company’s breastfeeding policy? Has she had the right conversations with her manager? Is there a lactation room available? Is she worried breastfeeding will in any way hurt her career growth?  

Having talked to so many moms at Aeroflow, we thought we might already know the answers. But we decided to go directly to moms and ask them to share their thoughts on breastfeeding support. This past September, we commissioned a third-party survey of 774 expectant moms between ages 18 and 40. 

The results show that while we have made great strides in breastfeeding support, we have a long way to go.

Over 75 percent of moms plan to breastfeed when they return to work, yet less than 50 percent know their company’s breastfeeding policy, and only 46 percent said their company has an adequate lactation room. Almost 63 percent of expectant moms think there is a stigma attached to moms breastfeeding at work, and 47 percent have considered a job/career change due to their need to breast-pump at work. It is concerning that the negative connotations around breastfeeding and pumping in the workplace still exist, especially at this rate. This is simply unacceptable, and we must do better. 

What can we do to fully support breastfeeding moms when they return to work? 

Moms

Know your rights and talk to your manager or HR department before going on maternity leave. This guide from Fairygodboss is a fantastic resource for knowing your rights under the law (you can search by state for specific laws in your area), how to talk to your employer and how to find out about pumping at your workplace. 

Employers

Start the conversation, have a clear breastfeeding plan in your employee handbook and remember working moms are still productive and important members of your organization (and breastfeeding support can actually save your company $3 for every $1 invested.) 

Coworkers

Do not engage in any negative conversations and make sure all breastfeeding moms in your department know they have your support. As they say, it takes a village, and this survey and its results show it’s especially true for moms who work and breastfeed.

See the full survey here.

A version of this post previously appeared on Fairygodboss, the largest career community that helps women get the inside scoop on pay, corporate culture, benefits and work flexibility. Founded in 2015, Fairygodboss offers company ratings, job listings, discussion boards and career advice.

Thanksgiving is coming. The food-centric holiday means a lot of things — a time to gather with friends and family, delicious food, an excuse to unbutton your pants at the dinner table — but if you’re cooking, it also means you’re looking for every tip, hack or trick you can get to make dinner faster, simpler and tastier. Luckily, your favorite celebrity chefs have your back. We rounded up some of our favorite advice superstar chefs have for a seamless Thanksgiving.

1. Name your plates & platters

According to Today, Giada De Laurentiis says to lay out your plates and platters and put post-it notes on each one so you don’t have to second-guess yourself while you’re plating them.

2. Use your cooler as a temperature control

Sunny Anderson says your average camper cooler can be great for keeping sides and even your turkey warm while you prep the rest of the meal.

3. Don’t be afraid to make sweet potatoes savory

Marcus Samuelsson recommends chili powder and garlic on top.

4. Dry brine

Save yourself the hassle and just make a dry brine for your turkey by rubbing it with salt two days in advance, says Deuki Hong.

5. Get color on your bird

Lidia Bastianich says the trick to making your turkey look magazine-ready is brushing it with balsamic vinegar 10 to 15 minutes before you pull it out of the oven.

6. Give your turkey a rest

Ryan Hardy swears the secret to the best turkey ever is letting it rest for one hour after you’ve finished your preferred cooking method.

7. Get quick room-temperature butter

Jocelyn Delk-Adams says to microwave a glass of water, dump out the glass of water and then place the warm glass over a stick of butter. Room temperature butter in a snap.

8. Stuff after it’s cooked

According to Bon Appétit, Michael Chernow makes his stuffing separate and then puts it into the bird after the turkey is cooked. He also cooks his stuffing in bacon fat for extra flavor.

9. Serve the turkey with hot chicken stock

Bobby Flay says the secret to delicious turkey is that after you carve the turkey, put it on a tray and cover it in hot chicken stock. It means you get a hot turkey and it keeps the bird juicy.

10. Stay away from carbs for appetizers

Danny Bowien recommends light dips, like a miso dressing, as an appetizer because carbs will fill you up too much before the main course.

11. Mix up your sweet potatoes

Daniel Boulud adds banana, apple, orange juice, onion and a little bit of curry powder to his to make something really memorable.

12. Prep your potatoes a day early

Rachael Ray says you can prep potatoes and cover them in water in the fridge for up to a day or two before it’s time to cook and mash them.

13. Don’t start too early

Gordon Ramsay says to make sure you get a good night’s sleep and don’t get up too early, or you’ll be burned out and grumpy by midday. If you feel like there’s too much to get done, delegate.

And we love these tips from some of LA's hottest chefs.

14. The best gravy ever

LA barbecue king Adam Cole says you can make the best turkey gravy by making a stock from the roasted neck. The night before, soak the innards in milk, the rinse them, sauté them and chop them up and add them to your thickened stock gravy the next day.

15. Spice up your pie

Akasha Richmond recommends sprinkling your pumpkin pie with cardamom.

A version of this article was originally published in November 2017. 

During pregnancy, Hillary Duff shared plenty of struggles from pelvic pain to the constant urge to pee. But her recent admission is the most surprising yet: Duff drank her placenta. Yep. In a smoothie. And she even enjoyed it.

In fact, according to People, the Younger star told Dr. Elliot Berlin that it tasted "delightful."

“It was the most delightful smoothie I’ve ever had,” Duff said on Berlin's podcast, Informed Pregnancy. “I haven’t had a smoothie that delightful since I was 10. It was calorie-filled with juice and fruit and everything delicious.”

Duff admitted that she was hesitant to eat her placenta: “I was a little wigged out, to be honest with you,” she said. But she told Berlin that the reported benefits — that it can increase your milk supply, prevent postpartum depression and stop post-birth bleeding — were enough to convince her.

However, Duff didn't want to go the "conventional" route and take placenta pills. "I heard something weird about the pills," she told Berlin. "I heard placenta burps are not ideal." So she placed the organ in a blender with juice and berries, and voila! Placenta smoothie.

That said, it is important to note that there isn’t any published medical evidence that supports placenta-eating. A 2017 study in the American Journal of Obstetrics & Gynecology actually advised patients to avoid placenta consumption. However, a few celebrities, like Kim and Kourtney Kardashian and Chrissy Teigen, swear by it — which probably contributes to its continued popularity.

As for Duff, according to People, she feels great. And at the end of the day, that's all that matters, right?

It’s not easy being a woman. Everyone is out for our hard-earned dollars. Wherever we glance, we are bombarded with advertisements of impeccably airbrushed models selling us something we're told we absolutely need. You know, the one thing that’s everywhere on Instagram. The one thing that you must have in order to feel good about yourself.

It’s all too easy to fall into the trap of devilish marketing (like those strategically placed ads on our phone and laptop screens) and the ease of ordering online. And that's fine if you have a healthy supply of extra money coming in. But really, for anyone, blowing too much money on not-so-smart splurges can end up being detrimental to your finances if you don't have a plan. 

More:  If Saving Isn't Your Strong Suit, the 50-20-30 Budget Is a Must

Spending on a budget can be a challenge, but it can also be a blessing. Some probing questions and criteria can teach any of us how to spend our "fun" money in the smartest way possible. Here are five ways you can tame your spending-money splurges. 

1. Ask yourself: Do I really need that "must-have"?

Yes, of course, I need this new office bag! Yes, of course, I need (yet) another foundation! Yes, of course, I need a new pair of shoes (my current favorites are more than a year old)! We are so used to buying things without thinking much about whether we really need them that this first step might feel almost torturous. And you may not always like the answer to this question. 

When money is in short supply, be brutally honest with yourself about whether you need something or not before buying it. There’s no dearth of fantastic and “life-changing” products on the market. Fortunately, we can do just fine without the vast majority of them.

More: It's Time to Ask for a Raise — Paychecks Are Growing at the Fastest Rate in 9 Years

2. Choose quality over quantity...

Once you are clear about what you need versus what you only kinda, sorta want, you will have more dollars to spend on high-quality items. These things stick around. Long-lasting products obviously provide more value, but they also provide a reminder that you bought something for fun (so you might not need to do it again right now!). Seeing a full closet or a full jewelry box because you chose items that last will cut down on that nagging feeling you need to buy more.  

Also, when on a limited budget, it’s often tempting to pick more for less. You want to buy as many items as you can for as little as possible. This is a bad idea or, at the very least, short-term thinking. Those things add up, and quickly. And you might not even realize how much you're spending when you buy products for $5 at a time. There's no use buying junk.

Yes, it is junk if it is low-quality. It won’t last long. It won’t wear well. It won’t give your outfits and your looks the oomph you crave. It will be lying discarded and forgotten just a few months from now. That is not what you want.

3. ... but also know where to scrimp

Having unequivocally stated that it is always advisable to choose quality over quantity, there are items on which spending top dollar makes no real sense. What this essentially means is that there are clearly crazily overpriced items out there that one needs to steer clear of. Sometimes, an exorbitant price tag does indicate high quality, but other times, it’s just a greedy sales ploy (and you should be able to tell one from the other).

Take lipsticks, for instance. You will find excellent picks under $5, great dupes of the MACs and the Charlotte Tilburys of the world. How does one justify spending $100 on a foundation? Are you sure it contains that extra something that makes it worth that much? 

On the other hand, there are items you should never scrimp on. Jewelry, for instance. Fake jewelry may look very attractive and trendy in the store, but it’s going to lose its luster soon after which it will look plain tacky and maybe even embarrassing. I’d go so far as to say don’t buy gold-plated jewelry at all; buy a minimalistic (real) gold bangle instead. Wear those pearl earrings your mom gifted you on your 25th birthday. Cherish the diamond ring you bought ages ago. These are timeless items that will help you create classy looks every single time. 

4. If you're buying clothes, only buy versatile pieces

Like buying long-lasting products leaves you feeling good for a long time after, versatile pieces will add the value you crave to your closet. Pieces you can mix and match and layer up or down depending on the season are always clever purchases you will use over and over, giving you no excuse to run to Zara because you have "nothing to wear."  

Shopping versatile pieces requires a deep understanding of your personal style. If blazers and boots are a must for you, pick the outer layers in universally flattering colors, such as gray, navy or brown. Avoid buying standout items, like yellow anything or magenta jackets. They might win you over in the store, but once you have worn them a couple of times, you will find there isn’t much you can do with them. 

As cliché as might this sound, invest in high-quality basics. And choose colors and fabrics that are versatile in nature. The same goes for accessories. Forget Forever 21 or fast fashion in general. Spend more on classic pieces and less on trending ones. 

5. Remember why you need a plan

Devising a spending-money budget can be a creative and fun exercise. But you’ll need a plan for it and a keen understanding of what suits you. You will have to slay your impulses and rise above facile trends.

Introspect, research and budget: That’s my mantra to smart, fun spending that doesn’t burn a hole in my leather pocket. What’s yours? 

A version of this post previously appeared on Fairygodboss, the largest career community that helps women get the inside scoop on pay, corporate culture, benefits and work flexibility. Founded in 2015, Fairygodboss offers company ratings, job listings, discussion boards and career advice.

By definition, Aquaphor is a healing ointment designed to heal minor cuts and cracked skin. But that's far from its only use. Though most of us know the cult-followed petroleum jelly as a lip balm, Aquaphor has tons of other uses, as discovered by the hacks of celebrities such as Hailey Baldwin, Emily Ratajkowski and Sofia Richie.

More: Clever Ways Celebrities Have Made Their Clothes Multifunctional

Aquaphor isn't just an ointment or a lip balm. It's an all-purpose product in its truest form and can be used for everything from highlighter to eye shadow to keeping dark circles at bay. Ahead, we've collected the most unexpected ways celebrities use Aquaphor in their beauty routines. Check out how you can incorporate the multipurpose product below.

Zendaya: Use it as highlighter

 Zendaya considers Aquaphor as the "magic step" in her beauty routine. But the actor doesn't use the product to moisturize. Instead, she puts it on over her makeup as highlighter. In a video on her YouTube channel, Zendaya revealed she uses Aquaphor for a natural-looking highlight. The step is easy: After she finishes her makeup, Zendaya takes some Aquaphor and dabs it on her cheekbones and the bridge of her nose. Warning: She doesn't advise the hack for those with oily skin. “It’s like sweat, but it’s not,” she said. “If you tend to get a shiny nose, don’t do this.” Fun fact: now-Duchess of Sussex Meghan Markle's makeup artist is also known to use this hack.

Sofia Richie: Use it as under-eye cream

To prevent crow's feet, under-eye circles and eye bags, Richie uses a dab of Aquaphor under her eyes each night as an eye cream. The model revealed her secret in an interview with E! News in which she said she uses the hack as a preventative measure against wrinkles. She might be 20, but she's thinking ahead. Because of its high glycerin content, the hack isn't advised for those prone to acne. “I sleep with it under my eyes because I heard it prevents bags. I’m just a freak about bags and wrinkles,” Richie said.

Selena Gomez: Use it to make cream eye shadow

Selena Gomez's makeup artist, Hung Vanngo, has a hack to transform powder eye shadow into cream eye shadow, and of course, it involves Aquaphor. In an interview with Huda Beauty, the makeup artist revealed he often mixes powder products — eye shadows, blushes, etc. — with Aquaphor to make them a creamy consistency. The hack also increases the pigment and makes the product more hydrating. “My best and only makeup trick is mixing powder eyeshadow with Aquaphor to create a cream shadow,” he said. “You can also do this with a powder blush to create a cream blush.”

Michelle Williams: Use it to exfoliate

For a soft, pillowy pout, Williams uses Aquaphor and a hot towel to exfoliate her lips. The actor's makeup artist, Angela Levin, revealed the hack in an interview with Today. The routine begins by using a warm washcloth to slough away dead skin before immediately moisturizing them with a combination of Aquaphor, Clarins lip oil and Dr. Hauschka's Lip Balm. “We try to take a hot washcloth and lay it on the lips and wipe the lips to take away the dead skin. You have to be very gentle. I use a combination of Aquaphor and the Clarins lip oil. Dr. Hauschka, I put on her as well,” Levin said.

Hailey Baldwin: Use it to shape eyebrows

Baldwin might be a supermodel, but she isn't above Aquaphor's drugstore appeal. In an interview with InStyle, Baldwin revealed she uses the product not only to moisturize her lips, but to also shape and condition her eyebrows. "I swear by Aquaphor. I use it everywhere like as a lip conditioner and on my eyebrows," she said. "If I was stuck somewhere and I needed to look presentable and had zero makeup, I would put a little bit on as a highlighter and on my lips. It’s a good multipurpose product."

The model talked about the hack again in an interview with Teen Vogue in which she also revealed she sometimes uses Aquaphor to condition her lashes before she sleeps. “You can use it on your skin, and lip balm, eyebrows,” Baldwin said. "I don’t particularly use it on my skin as an everyday thing, but always on my eyebrows and lips. I put Aquaphor or Vaseline on my brows before I go to bed, and you can use it on your lashes too if you’re careful.”

Emily Ratajkowski: Use it to define lipstick

To amp up the color of her lipstick, Ratajkowski mixes Aquaphor with her favorite lipstick. The trick not only increases the pigment but also helps to define Ratajkowski's "really pale" lips. "Then I put Aquaphor on my lips, or I might mix it with Charlotte’s Bond Girl lipstick so there’s some definition. I have really pale lips; people always think I’m wearing nude lipstick," Ratajkowski told The New York Times.

Originally posted on StyleCaster.

From workplace interruptions to the rabbit hole that’s otherwise known as social media, it’s no wonder you have trouble concentrating. Distractions of all sorts are rampant everywhere, which explains why you might experience frequent feelings of frustration when it comes to sitting down and actually completing a task on your to-do list. 

“We live in a tsunami of texts, emails, phone calls, social media postings, invitations to connect and constant temptations to go online to shop or otherwise surf the 'net,” Dr. Edward Hallowell, a medical doctor and ADHD expert, tells SheKnows. “We are never without access to elsewhere. We are always, everywhere available; hence we are never anywhere fully present. We live in the Age of Distraction.”

The good news, though, is that there are ways to improve your ability to concentrate. Here are some tips to help you focus amid all the chatter and commotion around you. 

Exercise

Hallowell recommends engaging in vigorous exercise for five minutes before concentrating on the task at hand. “This changes your brain blood chemistry altogether. It is like pushing the reset button on your brain,” he says, adding that adhering to a regular routine of physical activity will also help your ability to focus. 

Avoid multitasking 

While multitasking has somehow managed to become a badge of honor in our society, according to Dr. Tamsin Astor, a psychologist and neuroscientists and author of Force of Habit: Unleash Your Power by Developing Great Habits, we should actually be doing the opposite. 

“Multitasking is something that we all think we can do, but actually, only a tiny percentage of the population is capable of real multitasking,” she tells SheKnows. “What the majority of us are doing is switching back and forth between many things and taking longer and being less efficient. Concentrating on one task at a time makes us more efficient.”

Meditate

Both Hallowell and Astor recommend meditating to help with concentration. “It improves your ability to concentrate because it is a constant practice of letting go of your thoughts and coming back to the breath,” says Astor. 

Hallowell, who says meditation operates on the same neurotransmitters he uses to treat ADHD, suggests meditating for five minutes before you sit down to tackle a task that requires concentration.

Plan out your day

“If you have a clearly prescribed order of events, it's easier to concentrate on the task at hand because you know you have time scheduled for the other things on your to-do list — like eat, working out, calling clients, collecting kids — and you don't waste time distracting yourself with decisions,” says Astor. In an attempt to restrict your screen time even more, you might want to consider opting for a desk planner to schedule your day.

Try the Pomodoro Technique

Astor suggests using the Pomodoro Technique, a time-management method developed by Francesco Cirillo in the late 1980s. The method uses a timer set for 25 minutes in length to break down work into intervals, which is separated by short breaks. 

To maximize your productivity, Astor advises choosing a specific piece of work to tackle using the technique and telling your coworkers about it for accountability. After the timer goes off, “Report on how it went and give yourself five minutes to get a cup of tea or stretch your legs. Repeat.”

Connect with people offline 

While being in constant contact with people online might distract us, on the flip side, Hallowell recommends regular doses of positive human contact offline could actually improve concentration. 

“It’s what I call ‘the other vitamin C,'” he says. “Vitamin connect. This could mean a smile, a hug, a warm conversation, a walk with a friend.” In-person contact is known to reduce stress, and stress interferes with our ability to concentrate, he explains. 

Manage your stress

In fact, stress management is extremely important when it comes to focusing. “Stress hormones — adrenaline and cortisol — are designed to allow our bodies to fight or flee, and they do this by drawing the blood away from the brain and the gut to the limbs,” Astor explains. “This means that your brain does not work as well when you are under stress.” 

This is why she recommends sleeping seven to eight hours a night, exercising regularly, meditating and eating good food. “Serotonin, that feel good hormone, is in your gut, so what you eat affects how you feel,” she says. 

While we might not ever be free from distractions, by taking the time to exercise, meditate, connect with loved ones and schedule our to-do lists, we might finally get a grasp on concentrating. 

Is it just us, or did this year fly by in the blink of an eye? While we wish that statement felt more hyperbolic, one particular fact makes it all too real — it's nearly tax time again. 

If you're thinking it seems like you just did you taxes for last year, you aren't alone. And that perceived brevity makes it easy to put off the coming year's taxes until the last minute, leaving you stressed out to the max. 

To help avoid the haze of last-minute rushing, we reached out to certified public accountant Mark D. Rosenfeld to find out everything you need to be doing now to prepare for taxes. "This is always a great topic at this time of year, but especially relevant now because there are massive changes in the tax law for tax year 2018," Rosenfeld tells SheKnows. 

Here's what else he had to say about getting your ducks in a row to do your taxes.

Review your records

"Pull out your copy of the 2017 tax return that you filed. This serves as a good reminder of the things that you will need to accumulate in order to prepare your 2018 tax return," Rosenfeld said. 

Can't find yours? Good thing you're working ahead! You still have time to reach out to your tax preparer from the previous year to obtain a copy. 

Don't make assumptions

Changes to the federal tax code won't necessarily affect you for state income tax purposes... yet. 

"Many states have yet to conform to federal changes," explained Rosenfeld. "This means that you may continue to itemize your deductions for state income tax purposes even if you utilize the new larger standard deduction for federal tax purposes."

Give "bunching" some thought

According to Rosenfeld, it might be shrewd for you to "bunch" you charitable contributions for 2018 and 2019 into one year. Yep, you can do that. Who knew?

"It may make sense to itemize in one year or the other using this technique," suggested Rosenfeld, noting that this trick can apply to other areas too. "The same strategy can be used for medical expenses and state and local taxes. The trick is to bundle all of your itemized expenses in one year — or the other." 

Double check your withholding

No one likes to find out come April they owe the IRS money. Tax time is really only fun when you get a return, right? This is why Rosenfeld recommends checking your tax withholding with all employers. 

"Especially in light of the many tax changes, this is an excellent time to check to make sure your tax withholding is correct. The IRS has built an updated tax withholding calculator on their website. The IRS is reporting that it is being underutilized," said Rosenfeld.

Update your address

We've all been there — we wait until the eleventh hour to file our taxes only to realize we can't find all of our forms. So use this time to do your due diligence. 

Urged Rosenfeld, "Make sure that your current address is correct with anybody that will send you a form W-2 or 1099. Think past employers, banks, brokerage companies or any company that pays you any type of retirement benefit. Doing this now will ensure that you will spend less time later tracking down missing forms that you need to prepare your tax returns."

Go the extra mile

Tax time is all about records and forms and paperwork, so it makes sense to take advantage of the time to get all your affairs in order — even those that only loosely pertain to taxes.

"Not directly related to taxes but equally if not more important, this is a great time to get copies and review all of your beneficiary designations for your IRA's, retirement plans like 401(k)s, annuities and insurance policies. In the event of death, these types of accounts pass to heirs through these specific forms and not by will or trust. I regularly see money unintentionally inherited because these forms were not updated for life changes, such as divorce," revealed Rosenfeld. 

While taxes are never fun to take care of, tackling some of these items now will save you a whole lot of stress in the spring. 

Good news, Fixer Upper fans — Chip and Joanna Gaines could be coming back to TV! During an appearance on The Tonight Show With Jimmy Fallon, the husband-and-wife team announced that not only do they plan to return to the small screen, they hope to do it on their own network.

When Fallon asked whether more TV time could be in their future, Chip playfully clued the audience in to a big secret. 

“We signed a nondisclosure and it said, quote-unquote, you can tell your mother but that’s it. So, Mom, I just wanted to make a quick announcement: We are coming back to television!” he said. “You’re gonna get to see the kids grow up, you’ll get to see us — obviously maybe on a six-month delay like the rest of the world — but we’re excited to be back."

Chip told Fallon that through Fixer Upper, they’d been able to pinpoint areas of production that caused problems and concluded they could potentially fix them. Enter their own network. 

“So, we’ve actually partnered with David Zaslav [Discovery’s CEO] and Discovery; we’re actually going to have a network, and I think we’re going to really carve it out in a way that really makes sense to us and our family. It’s going to be filmed a lot in Waco, Texas, so we don’t have to travel a whole lot. So, all things being equal, we could not be more excited,” Chip said. 

The Gaines family initially shocked fans in September 2017 when they announced that the fifth season of their hit HGTV show Fixer Upper would be their last. They arguably shocked fans even more when, shortly after revealing their “retirement,” Chip and Joanna shared with the world that they were expecting their fifth child. 

In addition to adding baby Crew to the brood in June, Chip said the family honestly just needed a break, referring to TV as “a tough business.” 

“We came into this whole thing sort of shock and awe. We had never had any inspiration to be on television, we didn’t know anything about the business, and so when you step into this universe, it takes you a little bit to get your feet under you, to say the least,” Chip explained. 

After five years of what could be described as a meteoric rise to fame, Chip said he and Joanna realized they wanted to “focus on our marriage, focus on our family and just kind of catch our breath.” 

The hope with the new network, according to a statement from the couple’s Magnolia company, is to “build a different kind of platform for unique, inspiring and family-friendly content.” 

At least, that’s the tentative plan. On Magnolia’s Instagram feed, they pointed out that Chip “got a little excited and spilled the beans” about a potential collaboration with Discovery. 

“This isn’t a done deal quite yet, but we are all really excited about what we’ve got in mind: our own cable network!” the Instagram post read. “We want to create a space on television unlike anything that exists today. A lifestyle channel aimed at inspiring and looking at the world in a new way.” 

Per Deadline, Discovery also confirmed that Chip and Joanna were in talks with the network but, once again, cautioned that nothing had been nailed down at this point. 

“Discovery is thrilled to confirm we are in exclusive talks with Chip and Joanna Gaines. The Gaineses are exceptional people, true authentic storytellers and creative visionaries who will nourish millions of people with quality, family-friendly programming accessible on a 24/7 network and across all screens,” the network said, teasing, “Stay tuned... working out the final details... more to come soon!” 

Of course, it’s not as though the Gaineses have been in full retirement mode since the final episode of Fixer Upper aired in April. 

In fact, they have a veritable empire in the making, including their popular Magnolia Market at the Silos destination shopping experience, The Magnolia Journal lifestyle magazine, and collaborative product lines at Target, Bed, Bath & Beyond, Pier 1 and more. Both are also best-selling authors. 

Basically, everything they touch turns to gold (or should we say sold?). Their new network, should it come to fruition, seems destined for success just the same. 

As wildfires in California continue to escalate, celebrities have been forced to flee their homes to seek safety: Lady Gaga, the Kardashians, Alyssa Milano, Martin Sheen, Orlando Bloom, Rainn Wilson, Caitlyn Jenner, Melissa Etheridge and more. Many of the stars took to social media on Friday with words of waning and lament. 

More: This Is Us Honors Its "Hometown" of Pittsburgh Following Synagogue Tragedy

Khloé Kardashian evacuated her Calabasas home with daughter True in tow, tweeting, “I can’t believe this is happening!!! May God bless us all! I can not believe what is happening! Completely devastating for anyone who loses tangible memories and the security of their homes. Thank you to EVERYONE who has a hand in helping. I’ve never seen anything like this.” 

Kardashian met up with sister Kim and Kim’s husband, Kanye West, who left their home in Hidden Hills. 

Kardashian West first tweeted a status update on her home, explaining that the flames were “more contained and have stopped at the moment.” Later, she posted a photo with Khloé’s daughter, True, saying, “Trying to get my mind off of this fire and snuggling with my niece. We are all safe and that’s all that matters.” 

Per TMZ, Caitlyn Jenner’s Malibu home has burned down. 

Lady Gaga left her home, also in Malibu, which is under mandatory evacuation. She wrote on Twitter, “I am thinking so deeply for everyone who is suffering today from these abominable fires & grieving the loss of their homes or loved ones. I’m sitting here with many of you wondering if my home will burst into flames. All we can do is pray together & for each other. God Bless You.”

She added a second tweet expressing her sincere gratitude for all of the hardworking first responders going above and beyond to help. 

Orlando Bloom shared a terrifying snapshot showing the dense wall of fire approaching his home. “This is my street as of two hours ago,” he tweeted. “Praying for the safety of all my Malibu fam, grateful to our brave firefighters please stay safe.” 

Denise Richards captured a similarly scary view of Malibu, sharing on Instagram, “We love our community #malibu so devastating… taking us hours to evacuate. Girls are safe. @aaronwilliamcameron & I trying to get out with our furry children. Be safe everyone… so emotional seeing the devastating loss of homes, families & animals.”

Alyssa Milano has been tweeting through the weekend, updating followers on not only her home but also on rescue efforts and ways to aid those who’ve lost their homes. On Saturday morning, she wrote, “UPDATE: My house is still standing. I’m on my way to bring firefighters water and food.” 

On Friday afternoon, Cher tweeted, “I’m worried about my house, but there is nothing I can do. Friends houses have burned. I can’t bear the thought of there being no Malibu I’ve had a house in Malibu since 1972.” She later tweeted, “Fire is closer.” 

Star Wars’ Mark Hamill shared a series of devastating photos, thanking everyone for their concern and letting them know his family is “all safe.” 

In addition to many homes, locations used for TV shows have been lost. According to Yahoo News, the Old West town set used in filming HBO’s Westworld was ravaged by the Woolsey fire. 

The outlook is likewise bleak for “Bachelor Mansion,” the Agoura Hills property famous for hosting The Bachelor and The Bachelorette. As of Friday, a smaller house on the property had already burned down and the back patio was burning. 

So far, the fires have burned more than 14,000 acres and forced more than 75,000 families to evacuate their homes. 

We'll get straight to the point: Urban Decay's Black Friday 2018 sale is not like other sales. It's a 10-day long bonanza, featuring shifting site-wide deals and heavily discounted favorites. The bounty is plentiful, and the harvesting begins on Thanksgiving Day — fitting because the brand's newly dropped Cherry collection makes us drool.

Cherries are currently trending in a way that must cause pineapples deep contempt. Between Tom Ford's naughtily named Lost Cherry fragrance ($320 at Sephora) and Urban Decay's scarlet-hued Cherry palette ($49 at Urban Decay), the small fruit is having an upscale beauty moment. Cherries are more unexpected than apples for fall and generally way less played out than pineapples. But forget my produce manifesto; what matters is this stunning Black Friday blowout.

Urban Decay revealed its 10 days of deals to our sister site StyleCaster so we could guide you through this emotional journey. Step one: become an Urban Decay Beauty Junkie. It's free to sign up, and loyalty members rack up points on all purchases, which they can later redeem for swag. In the case of Black Friday, Beauty Junkies receive additional discounts, so it's a no-brainer. After you've signed up, commit this page to memory.

We're kidding. That would be weird. Check back every day from Nov. 22 to Dec. 1 for a refresher on the daily deal, and try to budget your cash accordingly. The cherries are rooting for you.

Nov. 22 – 24

Coming out hot, Urban Decay's first Black Friday deal begins Thanksgiving Day and ends Saturday, Nov. 24. All customers will score 20 percent off online purchases and free shipping, while Beauty Junkies will snag 25 percent off (with some restrictions). This is your chance to try out any product you've been curious about but too shy to commit to or snag the hot new releases.

Nov. 25

We're calling this deal Basic Saturday, but we don't mean any insult. With 50 percent off Naked Skin Concealers ($14.50, was $29, at Urban Decay), All Nighter Concealers ($14.50, was $29, at Urban Decay) and pro makeup Brushes ($7.50 – $29.50, were $15 – $59, at Urban Decay), you can stock up on basics you'll reach for everyday. Who doesn't need a luxe brush and damn good concealer?

Nov. 26

Cyber Monday is your one and only opportunity to buy the best-selling Naked Heat palette ($27, was $54, at Urban Decay) at 50 percent off. Bookmark this day.

Nov. 27

While other sales are cooling off, Urban Decay is coming for your cash with 50 percent off select Vice lipsticks ($9, was $18, at Urban Decay). Pretty much everyone stans this highly rated formula, including Ruby Rose. Also, it's $9 Urban Decay lipstick.

The Naked Petite Heat palette ($14.50, was $29, at Urban Decay), the pocket version of Monday's deal, is 50 percent off today. So if you couldn't spring for the full-size, here's your shot at the more compact counterpart.

Nov. 29

For those partial to palettes, it doesn't get much better than today. The half-off Lightbeam palette ($12, as $24, at Urban Decay), the Moondust palette ($24, was $49, Urban Decay) and the Naked Skin Shapeshifter palette ($22, was $45, at Urban Decay) will fly off the shelves.

Nov. 30

If you have any lingering cash at this juncture, Friday's deals will surely finish you: $10 stocking stuffers and a gift with your purchase ($50 minimum). Make like the savvy Secret Santa you've always known you could be, and score gifts people actually want.

Dec. 1

December opens with the close of Urban Decay's 10-day mega-sale. Whether you've managed a modicum of restraint or just can't resist a bargain, the half-off Naked Smoky palette ($27, was $54, at Urban Decay) is here to console you.

Originally posted on StyleCaster.

Our parents are there for us when we’re at our most vulnerable: They sweep the nightmares from our brows and kiss our skinned knees. They talk us through our triumphs and our great pains and everything in between. But as we grow older, the roles gradually shift — and we must talk our parents through some hard, scary issues. 

Some of the hardest, scariest issues are end-of-life issues. Though we may have faith or spiritual traditions we can rely on, it can be more difficult to discuss concrete issues such as living wills, advance care directives and palliative care solutions. 

It may never seem like the right time to have this conversation, but November is National Hospice & Palliative Care Month, a time dedicated to learning more about the compassionate care options that are best for our families, so that can always be an entry point. 

Where to begin

Starting the conversation may seem insurmountably hard, but Dr. Tina B. Tessina, a psychotherapist and author of The Ten Smartest Decisions a Woman Can Make After Forty, tells SheKnows enlisting our parents’ medical care providers can be vital because they can surreptitiously get pivotal information we need. 

“Most doctors will gladly give you a form for end-of-life care that you can use as a basis for asking those difficult questions under the guise that the doctor needs the info in their files,” she says. “If you can’t get the form — called a living will or a durable power of attorney — from your parents’ doctor, you can get it online. Having an official-looking form to fill out will make the questions seem less personal and intrusive.”

Tessina explains the truly essential thing is to tell our parents we need to know what they want at the end of their life. Of course, the very nature of this conversation can prompt an understandable resistance — but she argues the best way to overcome this resistance is to “phrase it as though they’re doing you a favor by answering the questions.” 

In other words, she encourages people not to tell your parents "you’re doing it for them" because that’s an opportunity for them to say, "We don’t need that." But if you’re asking them to do it for you, you’re more likely to get a good response. 

Another strategy Tessina suggests is that if your parents have a good friend who is close in age — especially one who senses the value of end-of-life planning — you can enlist that friend to talk to them peer-to-peer (which may go more smoothly than having that conversation with the children they once changed and helped with homework). 

Getting your papers in order

The paperwork — such as living wills and advance directives — can be hard enough to secure. Trickier still is determining what types of palliative care our loved one might need.

Though we may think we can wave these concerns away with a general plan, like, say, getting a home care aid or determining whether they should get a do-not-resuscitate order, Micaela Heights, a registered nurse, hospice nurse and physician orders for life-sustaining treatment specialist, says it’s important to be specific about what the options and the needs could look like. 

“One effective way I found of opening the topic to family members and anyone outside of my job is through a combination of storytelling and painting a picture for them,” she tells SheKnows. 

Heights says that when her friend’s father fell and experienced a concussion that left him mentally incapacitated, he had to have a caregiver assist him with specific daily tasks, like transferring him in and out of bed or to a wheelchair, dressing him, taking him to the toilet, bathing him, giving him his scheduled medicine and preparing his meals. 

That's why Heights recommends having honest conversations with our loved ones about what they’d want their lives to look like — even if we frame it through conversations about other people’s experiences. For instance, you can use a hypothetical scenario like, “Well, my friend’s dad lived with a round-the-clock caregiver at home — is that something you’d be OK with?” 

Don't forget about self-care

Heights also encourages us to show self-care while starting to think about how we’d care for an elderly, infirm relative. “A lot of family members I've spoken to feel guilty about everything,” she says — specifically that they are only prolonging their loved ones’ suffering or not doing enough to save them or help them. This is why knowing what our loved ones want is so important. 

Tessina seconds the call for self-care and says that distributing the responsibilities among family members can alleviate the strain. She also encourages caregivers to review community resources. 

“People often feel negative about senior care residences or convalescent hospitals, but if placing your family member in a good care facility is financially workable and it relieves the burden of actual care so that you can be more emotionally supportive, that may well be a good decision,” Tessina explains.

It’s important for us to frame these conversations as a time to honor our parents’ wishes and give them the best quality of life, however long that may be. We can use these talks, hard as they are, to show our love and devotion to our loved ones.