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5 Things to Consider Before Going Freelance

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I started freelance writing just under a year ago after spending three years as an editor. A few months into freelancing, I wrote a piece about quitting my job, going hiking and then making more than I’d ever made as staff. Happy ending! I'm now living a four-hour workweek dream scenario and want for nothing.

Not quite. What actually happened was shortly after that piece published, I burned myself out, lost my main contracting gig and had to build much of my income back up from scratch. 

I’m going to assume you’ve already done your fair share of googling about how to go freelance and your mind is already filled with the practicalities of it (how much you should have in savings, etc.). If not, journalist Ann Friedman has a great checklist of practical things for the freelance curious to have prepared before taking the leap.

Ultimately, I fell into freelancing, and it took me a while to fully commit. But if I could go back in time and plant some useful questions in my brain, here’s what they would be.

What’s your goal?

The thing about being your own boss is that you are often the only person in charge of your workday. That’s great — and can also be maddening. I spent months floundering because no matter where I was being successful (a new byline, better pay, a cool opportunity), I came up with five more areas in which I didn’t think I was up to snuff (not making enough money, working too many hours, not having as much flexibility as I wanted). I always felt like I wasn't doing enough and often like I was doing worse than I objectively was. 

For your first three months, set just a couple of goals — whatever they may be — to be reevaluated at the end of the quarter. They might not be monetary. In fact, I'd recommend that most of them aren't. The goal could be to work from a new location every week or to have every Friday off or to sign a new client or not to wake up to an alarm clock or to say no to projects that go against your moral compass. Whatever it is that made you want to freelance in the first place, make staying true to that one of your goals for the first quarter. You can always change it later.

On a monetary basis, have two numbers: what you need to survive (your minimum monthly income) and your income goal. 

One trick I learned from Julie Schwietert Collazo, a full-time freelancer who teaches excellent classes on pitching, involves a little bit of math but is worth it: 

  1. Name the annual income you’d like to make, then divide it by 12, which will give you your target monthly income. 
  2. Divide your target monthly income by four, which gives you your weekly target income.
  3. Divide your weekly target income by the number of days you want to be working per week, and that gives you how much you need to make per day to reach your big income goal. You can divide that by the number of hours you want to work per day (for example, eight) to see how much you’d need to make per hour. 

It sounds simple, but getting down into the nitty-gritty of numbers also helps you decide which projects will be worth your time and which won’t.

More: How to Write the Perfect Cover Letter

Who will pay for your work?

The first four months of my freelancing life were pretty much thanks to a former coworker who was able to pass assignments and even a contracting gig my way. As I wrote for her, I started building up other relationships — sometimes thanks to other former coworkers, other times through cold pitches — which were fundamental when I lost the contracting work. 

The reality is, it's tough to get work from clients you've never interacted with before. It's as much about creating quality, relevant work as it is contacting a client at the right time and the stars otherwise aligning. So having someone — or several someones — that you know have work for you before taking the leap will make your transition a lot more tolerable as you start reaching out to unknown prospects.

More: 7 Things to Say to a Boss With Unrealistic Expectations (That Won't Sabotage Your Career)

Where (& when) are you physically going to work?

When someone is offering to pay you, it's hard not to keep saying yes — even if you’ve already been working all day or you had plans this weekend or you were just about to turn off your computer because your head is spinning.

If possible, figure out a place where you can cordon off your work. It might be a desk in a corner, another bedroom, a coworking space or a coffee shop. Then, figure out what hours you’re going to work. I’ve been great about starting work around 9 a.m. each day, but less great about turning the computer off at a reasonable hour. But without these kinds of structures, it’s easy to burn yourself out quickly, which won’t serve you in the long run. 

More: 3 Invaluable Lessons I Learned When I Took a Break From My Career

What are you going to do besides work?

You’re going to be in charge of your work-life balance, and it can be really easy to let work become your life. So, what are you going to do besides work? It might dance classes or yoga; it might be a book club or hiking; it could be learning to macramé or reupholster your furniture. But have something to look forward to besides work each week — preferably out of the house. Because what's the point of freelancing if you never get to feel free?


The Reason Why CNN Is Pulling Certain Episodes of Parts Unknown

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Nearly one year after the #MeToo movement became a viral hashtag, accusations of sexual assault against powerful people in Hollywood are still coming out. Now one of the loudest voices in the movement, actress Asia Argento, is making headlines not just as a survivor of sexual abuse, but as an alleged perpetrator, and CNN is responding accordingly.

More: Anthony Bourdain's Life & Legacy Will Be Honored in a New Documentary

According to People, CNN pulled several episodes of the late Anthony Bourdain's travel show Parts Unknown from streaming services as of September 2. Two of the episodes, exploring Rome and Southern Italy, featured Argento on-screen; a third, exploring Hong Kong, was directed by Argento. In the Hong Kong episode, Bourdain said, “To fall in love with Asia is one thing. To fall in love in Asia is another. Both have happened to me.”

A CNN spokesperson told People that the network pulled these episodes for one crucial reason. “In light of the recent news reports about Asia Argento, CNN will discontinue airing past episodes of Parts Unknown that included her, until further notice," they said.

Following Bourdain's death in June, Argento received an outpouring of support from fans; the couple had been dating since 2016, when they met on production for the Rome episode of Parts Unknown. Then in August, the New York Times reported that Argento reached a $380,000 financial statement with actor Jimmy Bennett, who claimed Argento had sexual intercourse with him when he was underage.

According to People, Argento denied the allegation in a statement to journalist Yashar Ali: “I strongly deny and oppose the contents of the New York Times article," she wrote. “I am deeply shocked and hurt by having read news that is absolutely false. I have never had any sexual relationship with Bennett.” She said that Bourdain paid off Bennett when the latter "unexpectedly made an exorbitant request of money" from her after she accused movie mogul Harvey Weinstein of sexual assault last fall.

“Anthony was afraid of the possible negative publicity that such person, whom he considered dangerous, could have brought upon us," she wrote. "We decided to deal compassionately with Bennett’s demand for help and gave it to him. Anthony personally undertook to help Bennett economically, upon the condition that we would no longer suffer any further intrusions in our life.”

In a statement to People, Bennett said he chose to handle the situation in private, largely because he "was underage when the event took place, and I tried to seek justice in a way that made sense to me at the time because I was not ready to deal with the ramifications of my story becoming public.”

More: Asia Argento's Latest Tribute to Anthony Bourdain Is Heartbreaking

After Bennett's accusation was made public, Argento was reportedly fired from as a judge of X Factor Italy, according to the Hollywood Reporter. CNN choosing to remove her episodes of Parts Unknown follows the same logic. As more people in Hollywood are accused of sexual assault and abuse, the ramifications are becoming more intense. It should be noted that Bennett's allegations toward Argento in no way belittle her allegations toward Weinstein, but regardless, this response from CNN is absolutely appropriate.

Why John Krasinski Flew Home Every Weekend While Filming Jack Ryan

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John Krasinski is using his fame and fortune for one really amazing thing: spending as much time as possible with his wife, Emily Blunt, and their two daughters, Violet and Hazel. Although Krasinski and Blunt are both super-busy with filming their own projects, that doesn't mean he won't commit to a crazy commute to see his family for even a day at a time.

More: John Krasinski Calls Emily Blunt the "Secret Ingredient" in His Career

At the premiere of his new Amazon series, Jack Ryan, on Friday, Krasinski told People that while he was filming the series in Montréal and Blunt was filming Mary Poppins in London, he was on a plane every weekend to cross the ocean and see his family.

“Family for me, it’s a non-negotiable thing,” Krasinski said. “So if I’m honest, I was shooting 6,000 miles away from them, and I flew back every single weekend.” He added, “Emily was shooting a little indie movie called Mary Poppins. So they were with her, and we always set up a base, and I always want the base to be with their mom, and I’ll do the flight time.”

That may sound especially brutal, but Krasinski acknowledges that it's a privilege to be able to do that kind of commute, especially with such frequency. He told People, “I think that there’s nothing you can complain about in this business, you know what I mean? We are all so lucky to be doing what we’re doing. If there’s one thing that’s a bummer, it’s that you spend time away from your kids. But guess what, a lot of people spend time away from their kids. So for me, I think we’re all living in a fantasy camp. So I’m not going to be the first one to complain.”

It's honestly so sweet Krasinski insisted on going to see Blunt and their daughters every weekend, even when he and Blunt were filming in totally different countries thousands of miles apart. According to Google, flight time from Montréal to London is six hours and 30 minutes one way, which totals at 13 hours of flight time round-trip, all in a weekend. Krasinski's Jack Ryan costar, Dina Shihabi, couldn't help but comment on this incredible commitment to family when she spoke to People Now in August.

“[Krasinski] flew basically every weekend to London, where Emily was shooting Mary Poppins, to be with his kids. He would wrap at like 5 a.m. on a Saturday morning, get on the next flight to London, and then come back Sunday night,” Shihabi said. We can't even imagine how tired Krasinski must have been.

More: 13 Things You Never Knew About John Krasinski

Of course, like Krasinski said, not everyone can manage a schedule like that, especially from a financial perspective; it's great that he's so aware of how lucky he is to be in his position. We also can't help but get a little gooey over how incredibly dedicated he is as a dad. Would that we could all find someone so committed to the family life if that's how we want to live our lives.

Khloé Kardashian Is Getting Into True Crime TV With a New Show

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Even the Kardashians are obsessed with true crime. At least, Khloé Kardashian is throwing her hat into the true crime ring, which suggests that even her family is into those stories. The new mom's newest TV role doesn't involve being on camera at all; instead, she's executive producing Twisted Sisters, a new Investigation Discovery series that deals with intra-family murders.

More: The Best True Crime Podcasts Besides Serial & S-Town

Ahead of the Twisted Sisters premiere, Kardashian tweeted a sneak peek and wrote, "Keep your enemies close and your sisters closer!"

Per Bustle, Kardashian has been promoting Twisted Sisters on her social media ever since it was first announced in April. She tweeted on Aug. 20, "I can’t wait to share my first true crime series #TwistedSisters with you! Don’t miss the premiere on @DiscoveryID Labor Day at 10/9c. Warning—these are tales of sisterly bonds gone horribly wrong. My sisters better watch out. Just kidding," complete with a hand-over-mouth emoji.

Teen Vogue reports that Twisted Sisters is a six-episode miniseries that delves deep into crimes committed by sisters (sometimes against each other), including interviews with family members and law enforcement. The series was originally set to premiere in 2019, but Investigation Discovery moved it up in the premiere queue. 

"These stories of sisterhood gone awry will surprise even the most devout 'ID addict' [the term for people who watch all of the true crime shows on Investigation Discovery]," Kardashian said in a press release. "When choosing the stories, we couldn’t believe how many untold tales there were to tell. As a true-crime fan myself, I am excited to share with viewers a new twist on the term 'sibling rivalry'."

Investigation Discovery also tweeted about the series premiere on Labor Day. They wrote, "Here's a chilling peek at #TwistedSisters before tonight's premiere at 10/9c" and made sure to tag Kardashian in the tweet.

In the preview video, sensational details like bloody writing on a wall and bloody linens on the floor give viewers a sneak peek at the murderous content they should expect in the new series. Investigation Discovery is known for its murder series, including The Perfect Murder, American Monster and Fatal Vows. Twisted Sisters will surely draw big numbers since true crime is a long-lasting and ever-expanding cultural obsession, at least in the U.S.

When the series was announced in April, Group President of Investigation Discovery Henry Schleiff told Deadline, "With one of the most renowned experts on ‘sisters’ now a member of our own ID family, we know she will be able to bring a unique perspective that will inform and entertain our core fans, while enticing new viewers to tune-in.”

More: Khloé Kardashian Calls Out Sister for Posting Post-Birth Bikini Pic

Given that Kardashian has already joked about her sisters in conjunction with promo for the series, we can't wait to see how her influence affects Twisted Sisters. The series premieres on Monday, Sept. 3 (Labor Day!) at 10 p.m. ET on Investigation Discovery. 

No One Talks About Pelvic Organ Prolapse, & We Need to Change That Now

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There I was, finishing up in the bathroom, as I’d done without incident several times that day. But this time, as I wiped, something didn’t feel right. So I did what any 50-year-old woman checking Facebook on the toilet would do in 2017: I switched over to camera mode, stuck my iPhone between my legs and snapped a picture.

What I saw made me gasp: There was a golf ball-sized blob of tissue poking out of my vagina.

Don’t worry — that’s about as graphic as I’m going to get about me personally, because no one, aside from my doctor and my ever-loving boyfriend, is interested in that particular topography. In fact, I quickly deleted the photo lest my 14-year-old twins decided to mess with my phone. No one can afford that much therapy.

More: Hot Flash Remedies: We Road Test 3 Chill Products That Promise to Help

But I’ll tell you I’d have been a lot less freaked out had I known what I was looking at. It wasn’t until after lots of ill-advised googling, paper gowns and the kinds of tests that you endure by imagining yourself on a beach with an umbrella drink that I learned that I had pelvic organ prolapse, which is essentially when your pelvic floor muscles get tired of supporting the organs in the neighborhood of your uterus. 

Without strong pelvic floor muscles, your cervix, uterus and/or your bladder start heading southward, as can the walls of your vagina and/or your rectum according to the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists. You may not even notice a mild case, but if your POP is severe (stage 3 or 4 out of four stages), you may be able to see or feel something, well, popping out.

Symptoms of the shift

Once I understood what it was, I realized I had many of the classic symptoms, the most noticeable of which was a feeling pressure between my legs as if I were carrying a small sack of apricots in my vagina. Depending on what is prolapsing and how severely, women can also have low back pain, bladder leakage, constipation, spotting and other regional delights. Thankfully, POP doesn’t hurt except for some women during intercourse.

As I semi-obsessively began to research the condition, I wondered why, after decades of writing and editing stories about women’s health, I’d never heard more than a passing reference to this condition. It’s incredibly common: Estimates vary, but it appears that over a quarter of women across all ages have some degree of pelvic organ prolapse according to a study the Journal of the American Medical Association.

More: 7 Things I Feared About Menopause That Didn’t Happen (& One That Did!)

Then I sighed. Of course. While admittedly unsexy topics like this get scant coverage to begin with, unsexy topics about women over 40 get even less. Guess what? The rate of POP shoots up after that age and having given birth increases your odds since the weight of a fetus and the surrounding fluid, as well as the pushing involved in vaginal delivery, can stretch out your connective tissues. Obesity increases your risk, and POP is also more common after menopause because women’s pelvic floor muscles and ligaments get looser with time and hormonal changes.

I spent the next three months dialing down my panic. I am an anxious person, and my frequent feeling of “falling apart” — being so overwhelmed with kids and work and love and the moral decay of the universe that I can’t contain my life — seemed to be literally, physically manifesting itself in my body. 

I kept imagining a Disney movie in which the wicked witch cut a bargain with a barren young farm wife: “You will bear a child, fair maid,” she’d cackle. “But in exchange, your REPRODUCTIVE ORGANS WILL SOMEDAY TUMBLE OUT OF YOUR VAGINA!” And when my friends and I gathered for our frequent feminist ventfests, we laughed until we leaked at the thought of the cohort of men who turn into toddlers when they have a head cold. Imagine if they had to deal with this shit!

I also seriously wondered: Could something really and truly dramatically fall out, like a pregnant woman’s water breaking, say, as I ponder new product offerings at Trader Joe’s? There was an image online of a woman’s bladder sitting on an exam table, entirely outside her body, that I fervently wish I could unsee. 

What about running? Might my footfall rattle something lose? And sex — my boyfriend worried about doing more damage until I assured him that the doctor said intercourse was fine as long as it didn’t hurt for me. In fact, the second and third medical opinions I got assured me that — despite my outsized fears — nothing was going to wind up suddenly external, although high impact exercise could, over time, make things worse.

More: My Cups Runneth Over: What Menopause Has Done to My Boobs

Solving the POP problem

I considered my options carefully. If you have a mild case, exercises that strengthen your pelvic floor muscles can improve the situation, and my doctor explained that many women, even with later stage POP like mine, choose to use a pessary, a solid plastic disc that you can insert to hold things up where they belong. A pessary can also alleviate the feelings of pressure. The other main option is surgical repair, which 300,000 women have each year according to the National Institutes of Health. Many, many more decide their POP is something they can live with or manage through nonsurgical means.

I ultimately decided to have surgery, which in my case involved knitting my muscles back together under general anesthesia. Once I’m all healed, I’ll likely have physical therapy to further strengthen my pelvic floor. Depending on which organs are prolapsed and whether you have bladder leakage, the surgery may be more involved. My thinking was that I’m relatively young and fit, and so I would likely heal well; I’m sexually active and don’t want to deal with a pessary; and most important, I have health care coverage, but who knows for how long?

But my deciding factor was psychological. At 50, I felt I had a choice: To fix something that was distracting me from enjoyment during sex and making me uncomfortable, thus renewing my contract with my vagina, or to live with the new normal and make peace, Zen-like, with the impermanence of everything. (I’ve been meditating like a madwoman, yet that level of enlightenment eludes me.) 

Mostly, I wasn’t quite ready for a constant, literally pressing reminder that the body falling apart is inevitable. (I have my 81-year-old dad for that!) But there’s no right answer — every woman with POP needs to balance the discomfort and severity of her condition against the risk and cost of surgery.

I’m almost healed, but I milked my recovery for all it was worth, having my teenagers lift things for me until I can do it without risking popping a stitch. “It’s not as if any of this is your fault, really…” I told them, my feet up on cushions. “I mean, just because carrying twins overtaxed my pelvic floor, you shouldn’t, like, feel guilty or anything. Could you bring me some more tea?” Nope, they won’t need any therapy at all.  


Originally published on Next Tribe.

Baby Names '90s Kids Will Love

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It’s starting to feel like everything old is new again. And from brown lipstick to platform sneakers to Full House, the ‘90s are alive and well on runways, on the shelves of Sephora and even (still) on our TVs. So why not mine this glorious decade for baby name ideas as well? There are some real gems from beloved ‘90s shows, movies and music just waiting to help your little one stand out in a sea of Emmas and Liams. After all, if Sabrina the Teenage Witch and Murphy Brown are worthy of reboots, then so are these totally rad ‘90s pop culture-inspired names.

More: Hippie Baby Girl Names for Groovy Gals

Girl names

Alanis: If Jagged Little Pill provided the soundtrack to your adolescence (guilty), then consider a baby name that pays tribute to the Canadian musician. (And you also oughta know that the name also means “handsome” and “cheerful.”)

Brandy: Whether she was starring as Moesha, crooning with Monica (in what remains the best karaoke duet song ever — don’t @ me) or inhabiting Cinderella’s glass slippers, triple-threat Brandy Norwood was a pop-culture fixture for ‘90s kids.

Felicity: This name literally means happiness, but to those of us who grew up with the Keri Russell-helmed drama, it also evokes the spirit of following one’s heart (even if Felicity’s decision to follow her crush to college isn’t quite role-model material).

Lelaina: If you’ve revisited Reality Bites as an adult, you may have rightly concluded that Winona Ryder’s Lelaina was kind of the worst (while Janeane Garofalo’s Vickie was kind of the best). Still, you’ve got to admit, the name Lelaina has a nice ring to it.

Naomi: The supermodels that graced ‘90s catwalks can serve up as much baby name inspiration as they did sartorial influence. There’s Tyra, Christy, Claudia and, of course, Cindy — but we’re inclined to believe that Naomi Campbell was the superlative of them all.

Phoebe: Hands down the best Friends had to offer — both in terms of name inspo and beloved characters.

Rayanne: The show may have been about Angela Chase’s so-called life, but if you want to try to impart a totally one-of-a-kind fashion sense (and, OK, a hell of a wild streak) to your babe-to-be, channel Angela’s quirky best friend.

Selena: Before there was Gomez, there was Quintanilla. Though the singer’s time on Earth was all too brief, the impact of her music — and the heart-wrenching J.Lo portrayal — lives on. The lovely name’s not only a sweet tribute to Selena’s legacy, but also means “moon goddess.”

Sidney: Even if you don’t love scary movies, can we agree that the unisex name belonging to Scream’s leading lady is pretty killer?

Tai: Cher’s Clueless sidekick may not have been the brightest bulb, but her heart was always in the right place. Plus, the short-and-sweet androgynous name works for boys too.

More: Short Baby Boy Names for Parents Who Like to Keep It Simple

Boy names

Arsenio: Want to lay the groundwork for a kid who can make you laugh? Name them after ‘90s late-night king Arsenio Hall. The name is Greek for “manly,” “strong” and “virile” if that’s the vibe you’re going for.

Carlton: Here’s a name as distinct as the signature dance moves and personal style of the Fresh Prince character himself.

Carter: As in the County General doctor we watched save lives for more than a decade. If you’re trying to impart compassion on your little bundle, you could hardly have a better role model.

Dylan: You don’t have to live within the Beverly Hills zip code to appreciate the classic name given to 90210’s brooding heartthrob.

Fox The truth is out there, and it’s that Mulder’s first name makes for a unique, playful and fierce kids moniker.

Jesse: America’s favorite leather vest-wearing, guitar-playing uncle was in possession of both a magnificent head of hair and a timeless name.

Noel: You’re unlikely to look back in anger if you look to Oasis’ lead guitarist for naming inspiration. However, we do not recommend using Liam as a sibling name — unless you want to sow the seeds for a serious rivalry.

More: Beautiful Indian Names for Your Little "Bachcha"

Rider: There are so many ‘90s dreamboats to choose from, but we’ve got a soft spot for Rider Strong, aka Shawn from the OG Boy Meets World.

Rivers: Use the name as a nod to the Harvard-educated Weezer frontman or as a tribute to your favorite body of water. (Supposedly, Rivers Cuomo’s mother named the rock star for the two rivers that surround Manhattan, where he was born.)

Xander: Cute on its own or as a nickname for Alexander or Alexandra, Xander connotes the ride-or-die loyalty of one of the most dependable members of Buffy’s Scooby Gang.

Jennifer Lopez’s Instagram of Alex Rodriguez Shows How in Love They Really Are

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J-Rod is so in love, and they don't care who knows it. On Monday, Jennifer Lopez posted an Instagram of Alex Rodriguez and admitted exactly how much she missed him after only a short amount of time away from one another.

Next to a photo of the former baseball player sitting on steps, the singer gushed, "One day apart and already missing this one..."

If that proves anything, it's exactly how in love they are with each other. When you're so happy with someone you start missing them after only 24 hours, that proves how serious you are about them.  

More: Jennifer Lopez Knows How She Does Not Want to Be Proposed To

According to Entertainment Tonight, Rodriguez had to travel to Houston, Texas, for work, meaning he had to part ways with Lopez for just a little bit. At least the two were able to spend the holiday weekend together. A-Rod even shared an Instagram of Lopez in her workout gear holding what appeared to be a cup of coffee and wrote, "Happy Labor Day Weekend to all of the women who work hard year-round."

More: Jennifer Lopez Reveals the One Thing That Could End Her Relationship With A-Rod

Ever since Lopez and Rodriguez started dating in February 2017, they've seemed pretty serious. Though they're not marriage-serious — yet. Lopez told Good Morning America in June, "We have to take our time. I've made plenty of mistakes in my past and... we're mature now. We're grown-ups, and we're going to take our time, and we're going to do things at our own pace. And our life right now is incredibly wonderful. Between our kids and our work, we're truly blessed. We don't need anything more right now."

Lopez also told Harper's Bazaar in an interview published in March, "I do believe in marriage. And I would love to grow old with somebody in a committed relationship. But I’m not forcing anything right now. It’s good, it’s healthy; we communicate well."

More: A Complete Timeline of Jennifer Lopez & Alex Rodriguez's Romance so Far

Maybe one day, Lopez and Rodriguez will say I do, but for right now, they are just living their best lives — and missing each other when they're not together. 

What It's Really Like to Get Your Period in Prison

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Getting your period in prison can be a nightmare. I don’t know anyone who enjoys those “days of the month” under any conditions, but being dependent on others for something as intimate as period supplies makes it the absolute worst time of the month when you're incarcerated — as I was for almost 35 years.

A directive in New York state (where I was in prison) mandates that period products are to be issued and replenished as needed. But in my experience, this was not true. When I was incarcerated, an arbitrary number of two packs of 12 sanitary napkins were routinely issued at the beginning of each month, and additional supplies were rarely given out. The napkins were as thin as panty liners, and not up to the task for most of us. 

Granted, the inmate commissary store sold sanitary napkins and tampons. However, with an “incentive wage” (the politically correct term for inmate salaries) of an average of $0.16 per hour, amounting to about $10 every two weeks, precious little is able to be purchased. Sanitary supplies are not listed as an approved item for families to bring or send to us in packages, so that left us to our own devices, foraging for sanitaries (how we referred to menstrual pads) anywhere we found them. 

More: What It's Like to Get Your Period in a Wheelchair

Most of the women were of the opinion that if the directive says that sanitaries are to be provided, then sufficient quantity should be provided. But that rarely happened.

Imagine having to approach a male officer and ask for sanitary napkins. First of all, there is the embarrassment. Second, when I requested additional products, the male usually asked, “You got your monthly supply, right?” I was then placed in the unenviable position of having to tell him that I bleed heavily or that my period lasts longer than a few days or that I change my napkin frequently. This is a discussion I would rather not have with a male staff person. It’s degrading to be in prison and have one’s personal needs dependent on the whim or mood of a staff person, especially a man.

In Taconic Correctional Facility in upstate New York, where I was incarcerated for eight years of my sentence, a local policy ensured that we could obtain extra sanitary napkins should we have a “verifiable medical need” for them. This meant that we had to get a note from a gynecologist stating that we had some sort of medical condition that would necessitate an extra issue of sanitaries. 

Sounds good, right? Well, in order to get an appointment with a gynecologist, we had to first obtain a referral from our primary facility doctor to even travel to an outside hospital to see the gynecologist. 

Not only that, but proving to the primary facility doctor that we had an actual need to see the gynecologist to be assessed for the need for extra sanitaries involved signing up and going to the clinic for sick call and pulling down our panties to demonstrate clots or a heavy flow to the nurse on duty. And even that was insufficient, as we had to remain in the clinic until the next change of pad, to prove the volume of the blood flow. 

Half the time, the request was denied. The rest of the time may have resulted in the nurse issuing one extra 12 pack of whisper-thin sanitaries. Of course, this degrading dog and pony show had to be repeated each month. It was an inhumane way to treat women. 

I was so offended by the stories I heard that I used to “relocate” packs of sanitaries from my job and program areas just to help my peers get by. Of course, “relocate” is nothing more than a euphemism for stealing, or smuggling. In program areas, like the school or the law library, packs of sanitary napkins would sometimes be left for anyone to use. I used to snatch unopened packs whenever and wherever I saw them and take them back to my housing unit.

And it wasn't just hard to get ahold of sanitary products in the first place. It was also difficult to dispose of them. The facility ordered boxes of individual sanitary napkin disposal bags that were intended to be issued to each of us. However, I routinely received an average of three bags a month. One sanitary goes in each bag. 

So where did all those disposal bags go? I never discovered the answer to that. 

Not having disposal bags left each of us with 21 sanitaries to be disposed of by wrapping them in tissue. This was yet another problem. The requisite issue of toilet paper was four rolls each month. That amount must have been determined by a man in Albany. Women use far more toilet paper than men do, and period or no period, four rolls of substandard toilet tissue simply was not enough. It got to the point that women would just dump unwrapped used sanitaries in trash cans. 

More: 2017 Was a Big Year for Periods on TV

In addition to "relocating" stray sanitaries, we also had other ways of getting the products we needed. Rather than debase ourselves with a display of blood in the facility clinic, most of us chose to cultivate a friendship with a menopausal woman. Every month, I heard women looking for menopausal women who didn’t need to use their standard issue. There was a brisk underground trade for sanitary supplies among us. I’ve seen cigarettes, clothing and even fried chicken exchanged for pads.  

Needless to say, when I finished menopause, I became hugely popular among women needing extra sanitaries. On the first of the month, when we all lined up to receive our supplies, women would urge, “Get your sanitaries for me.” I always got my two packs and I gave them away. It was all about getting by, and we managed by supporting and helping each other — during our periods and the rest of the month.


20 Inspiring Beyoncé Quotes About Motherhood

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From the outside looking in, Beyoncé Knowles Carter is probably the least relatable celebrity mom of them all, what with her family vacations on private yachts in Europe and her $7,560 maternity attire. But when you strip Queen Bey of her beauty, fame and unparalleled talent, you get a regular-ish 30-something mama who’s like the rest of us: loving on her kids, amazed by the miracle of pregnancy and childbirth and overwhelmed by the joy of raising children.

In honor of the singer’s 37th birthday on Sept. 4, we’ve rounded up Beyoncé’s most inspiring quotes about motherhood. She has talked at length over the years about her miscarriages, her healthy pregnancies, giving birth and being a mom to oldest daughter Blue and twins Rumi and Sir, and her thoughts on all of the above are surprisingly relatable, even though her lifestyle is anything but. 

More: Beyoncé Talks "Mommy Pouch" Postpartum Body & Loving Her New Curves

Read Bey’s most touching quotes about the family she and husband Jay-Z have built together, and prepare to be inspired (OK, probably a little bit jealous, too).

1. When she shared the heartbreaking details of her miscarriage

In the star’s 2013 HBO documentary Life Is But a Dream, Bey opened up for the first time about the pregnancy she lost before the 2012 birth of daughter Blue.

“About two years ago, I was pregnant for the first time. And I heard the heartbeat, which was the most beautiful music I ever heard in my life,” she said. “I flew back to New York to get my checkup — and no heartbeat. Literally the week before I went to the doctor, everything was fine, but there was no heartbeat.”

From there, the Grammy winner put her feelings into her music: "I went into the studio and wrote the saddest song I've ever written in my life. And it was actually the first song I wrote for my album. And it was the best form of therapy for me, because it was the saddest thing I've ever been through."

2. When she explained why she wanted to open up about her loss

When Oprah interviewed Bey later in 2013, she explained why it was so important for her to talk publicly about her miscarriage.

“There are so many couples that go through that and it was a big part of my story. It’s one of the reasons I did not share I was pregnant the second time [with Blue], because you don’t know what’s going to happen. And that was hard, because all of my family and my friends knew and we celebrated. It was hard,” Beyoncé said.

3. When she got emotional about her mother/daughter bond with Blue Ivy 

In the same Oprah interview, Bey shared that she felt a bond with her little girl almost immediately.

“My daughter introduced me to myself,” she said. “You know, my mother and I are so close, and I always prayed that I would have that type of relationship with my daughter. And she’s still a baby, but the connection I had with her when I was giving birth was something that I’ve never felt before.”

4. When she called pregnancy “the most beautiful experience of my life”

In Life Is But a Dream, the stunning star also discussed the beauty of carrying her daughter, Blue.

"[It was] the most beautiful experience of my life. It was amazing. I felt like God was giving me a chance to assist in a miracle. You’re playing a part in a much bigger show. And that’s what life is. It’s the greatest show on Earth," she said.

5. When she was so thankful she got to experience a healthy pregnancy

"Pregnancy is the most incredible gift anyone can have and I'm so happy I'm a woman,” the star told E! News in a 2011 interview. “Men, I feel bad, they don't get to experience this. It's incredible."

6. When she understood the struggle working moms face

Yes, even superstars realize it’s not easy for everyday mamas to balance our careers with our families.

"I have so much admiration for women who are mothers, who balance family and work,” the “Single Ladies” singer told Cosmopolitan UK in 2011. “I see them and I have this word in my head — respect. I also look to learn. I see these women and I think, 'Yes, it can be balanced, it can all work out.' I do believe that it's possible to have it all — work, a career, babies. It's all a question of being very organized. That's what I'm getting my head around.”

7. When she shared the benefits of breastfeeding

In 2012, when Bey was crowned People magazine’s Most Beautiful Woman, she revealed she lost the baby weight by breastfeeding — she nursed Blue Ivy for 10 weeks — and encouraged other mamas to do the same.

“I lost most of my weight from breastfeeding and I encourage women to do it. It’s just so good for the baby and good for yourself,” she said.

8. When she hit the nail on the head about how motherhood has changed her

Beyoncé said she found a newfound purpose after becoming a mother.

"It just gives you purpose, and all of the things that my self-esteem was associated with, it's all completely different," she told Anderson Cooper in 2012. "I realized why I was born and more than anything all of the things I want to pass onto my child, and the best way of doing that is not by preaching or telling her but showing her by example."

9. When she admitted she and Jay-Z love changing diapers

In the same interview, Bey confessed that not even Mr. and Mrs. Carter are above diaper duty.

“Actually, [Jay-Z] is very good. We both [change diapers]. I love changing diapers, I love it. I love every moment of it, it’s so beautiful. I love it all,” she said.

10. When she got real about what was going through her mind during labor

Bey got super-philosophical in her 2013 Vogue interview, in which she revealed how she mentally got through labor with Blue.

“I felt like when I was having contractions, I envisioned my child pushing through a very heavy door. And I imagined this tiny infant doing all the work, so I couldn't think about my own pain... We were talking. I know it sounds crazy, but I felt a communication.”

11. When she asserted that giving birth was her greatest accomplishment 

The star told Garage magazine in 2016 that her proudest moment had nothing to do with her career.

"Out of everything I've accomplished, my proudest moment, hands down, was when I gave birth to my daughter Blue," she said.

12. When she said being called Mama is the best thing ever

"I just adore being a mother, hearing [Blue Ivy] say 'Mama' and call me when she needs something,” she told Shape in 2013. “It makes me feel like I have a real purpose here."

13. When she said family is more important than everything

This sweet confession came via the singer’s “Self-titled” YouTube series, in which she discussed her 2013 self-titled album.

“I have a lot of awards, and I have a lot of these things. And they’re amazing, and I worked my ass off. I worked harder than probably everybody I know to get those things. But nothing feels like my child saying, ‘Mommy!’ Nothing feels like when I look my husband in the eyes.”

14. When she understood the simple joy of waking up every day to your kid

“When I wake up in the morning, the best thing in the world is seeing her face,” Beyoncé told the NFL Network’s Super Bowl Live show in 2013. “She’s starting to talk. It’s just such a beautiful time in my life to have a child and every day see something new and see her learn something new.”

15. When she accepted her post-baby body

Queen Bey told Vogue in 2013 that she had “no shame” about her post-baby body.

"I just feel my body means something completely different. I feel a lot more confident about it," she said. "Even being heavier, thinner, whatever. I feel a lot more like a woman. More feminine, more sensual. And no shame."

16. When she confessed she wanted her kids to have normal childhoods

Before the twins were born, Beyoncé told Good Morning America in 2013 that she wanted more kids — and she hoped they could live as normal lives as possible despite the fame and fortune.

“I would like more children. I think my daughter needs some company. I definitely love being big sister,” she said. “I am very protective. I just want to make sure that she can have a healthy, safe, normal life. In the back of my mind, she’s my priority. And life is completely different now. I feel really, really just lucky that I can still do what I love, and now have a way bigger meaning. And that’s to be her mother.”

17. When she announced she was pregnant with twins

The most-liked Instagram photo of all time was Beyonce’s February 2017 post in which she revealed she was expecting twins.

“We would like to share our love and happiness,” she wrote in a caption. “We have been blessed two times over. We are incredibly grateful that our family will be growing by two, and we thank you for your well wishes.”

18. When she got real about her unplanned C-section

Though her first labor and delivery seemed pretty blissful, the second was anything but, and Bey revealed in her September 2018 Vogue cover story that she had to have an emergency C-section with the twins.

“I was swollen from toxemia and had been on bed rest for over a month. My health and my babies’ health were in danger, so I had an emergency C-section,” she said.

19. When she gave herself time to recover the second time around

Three months after Beyoncé had Blue, she was back to performing. But after the birth of Rumi and Sir, she realized how important it was to give her body time to recover, she said in the same Vogue interview.

"After the birth of my first child, I believed in the things society said about how my body should look. I put pressure on myself to lose all the baby weight in three months, and scheduled a small tour to assure I would do it. Looking back, that was crazy," she said.

“I needed time to heal, to recover,” she added. “During my recovery, I gave myself self-love and self-care, and I embraced being curvier. I accepted what my body wanted to be... I was patient with myself and enjoyed my fuller curves. My kids and husband did, too.”

More: Beyoncé Brings Her Kids to Vogue Photo Shoot, Wins Parenting

20. When she really proved she’s just like us because she too has a post-baby “FUPA”


But perhaps our favorite part of the Vogue interview was Bey accepting her body’s imperfections — and admitting she’s got a “mommy pouch” and a FUPA (look it up) like the rest of us.

“To this day my arms, shoulders, breasts and thighs are fuller. I have a little mommy pouch, and I’m in no rush to get rid of it. I think it’s real,” Beyoncé told the magazine. “Whenever I’m ready to get a six-pack, I will go into beast zone and work my ass off until I have it. But right now, my little FUPA and I feel like we are meant to be.”

Beckham Backlash: Water Guns on British Vogue Cover Slammed as 'Tasteless'

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The Beckhams are being slammed for their new British Vogue cover shoot featuring the family playfully spraying each other with water toys. Here's a crazy thought: Could it be that maybe — just maybe — sometimes a water gun is just a water gun? 

Photographer Mikael Jansson snapped a photo of David and Victoria reclining gorgeously outdoors amid a water gun fight happening among their kids: Brooklyn, 19, Romeo, 16, Cruz, 13, and Harper, 7. Olive the dog is there too (sans toy gun).

MoreVictoria Beckham Shamed Because Son Brooklyn Has "Too Many Tattoos"?

Predictably, some folks were not happy with the choice of props — particularly interesting considering the U.K. has a very low rate of gun murders due to the country's strict licensing of firearms.

Yes, comments on the British Vogue Instagram page were, well, judgy.

“Why the guns?” one commenter asked.

“Use of guns is utterly tasteless,” another wrote.

“The use of any type of gun is tragic. Disappointed," said a third.

And over on Victoria Beckham's Instagram, a comment read, “Fake guns but really, did you need to use guns as props?”

But some Beckham fans were quick to slam the shamers, like this commenter: "Omg people just chill... in 2018 you.cannot do anything. Whatever you're gonna do you will offend someone.. if you're so SOFT on everything maybe get out of internet for a while and go educate your friends and family and show others love. This photo shows family playing and fooling around. Don't make so much drama and use your energy for something else."

MoreVictoria Beckham's Kids Roast Her Hilariously Online

Another follower wrote wryly: “We have reached peak snowflake. All you utter pathetic losers criticizing cos the kids are using water guns. OMG get over yourselves you losers; water guns are used by kids in the summer universally. They’re having fun. There’s [sic] no gun shootings in the U.K. cos they actually have proper laws. You’re pathetic.”

We can't help but agree with the commenters who used the hashtag #familygoals. The Beckhams are known for their closeness (check out this video of David Beckham bursting into happy tears at the surprise sight of his son), and we're not sure a little splashy Nerf action really tarnishes their rep.

The Beckhams have often found themselves the target of social media gossip — especially rumors of impending divorce — something that Victoria addressed in the magazine issue:

“People have been making things up about our relationship for 20 years, so David and I are pretty used to ignoring the nonsense and just carrying on as normal,” she said. “But these things have a wider effect on the people around us, and that’s unfair.”

“We both realize that we are stronger together than we are as individuals,” Victoria added. “Would either of us be in the position that we are in now had we not met and been together all those years ago? It’s all about the family unit. We are much stronger, the six of us, than we would be if we were individuals. We respect that family bond and that is key.”

Hey, we respect that family bond too. Play on, Beckhams.

How to Talk to a Loved One Struggling With Opioid Addiction

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Start the conversation about opioid dependence with compassion and education

There are few things more painful than watching a loved one struggle with addiction, particularly one as harrowing as opioid addiction. Sharon Osbourne, beloved TV personality, is all too familiar. “When my adult children Jack and Kelly had to face their own opioid addictions, I was frustrated and filled with worry,” she said as part of a recent campaign for Let’s Change the Conversation, which arms caregivers with resources and encourages them to know about all available treatment options for opioid dependence.

After Sharon saw her husband, Ozzy Osbourne, struggle for years with opioids, she’d let herself believe Jack and Kelly would never experiment in similar ways. She was devastated when she learned about Jack and Kelly’s addiction to opioids. “What I know now is that even through the emotional pain and hurt and guilt, we as caregivers have to take action,” she said.

That action starts with a conversation. We spoke with two psychiatrists familiar with opioid addiction about the best way for caregivers to start a conversation about a loved one’s opioid addiction. Although they are not affiliated with the Let’s Change the Conversation initiative, both have expertise in treating individuals and families impacted by opioid addiction.

Be compassionate

Though it can be painful and difficult, approach the conversation without finger-pointing or blaming, according to Dr. Anish John, associate medical director of the Positive Sobriety Institute, who notes the most important thing is to speak "from a place of concern and support."

"I never gave up on him," Sharon wrote in a blog post of her experience with husband Ozzy. "Even though we went through some very tough times."

Educate yourself

It can be easier to have empathy for your loved one if you have a better understanding of what they’re going through. “I always appreciate those parents or loved ones who end up reading up on treatment options,” Dr. Peter Breslin, a psychiatrist in Virginia, shared. “It shows that they’re really behind this person.”

A good thing to understand is just how deeply the brain is affected by opioid addiction, Dr. John added. “From a medical standpoint, we now have decades of research solidifying that this is a medical condition,” he said. “The parts of your brain that are involved in reasoning, judgment, looking at consequences, the ability to hold off on immediate gratification — that prefrontal cortex in your brain, I would say, is sort of impaired, hijacked.” Sharon found this to be true first-hand with her husband. "I wanted to blame him. But Ozzy wasn’t choosing drugs. Yes, he chose them in the beginning, but over time, opioids had taken control. He tried to stop, but he couldn’t do it on his own," she wrote.

Educating yourself on the many ways the brain and body are affected isn’t about giving a free pass to people struggling with addiction, he clarified, but it is about understanding what they’re going through. Speaking with a healthcare professional can help you understand the complexities of addiction and better help your loved one on their recovery journey.

Don’t be discouraged by denial

Even as you approach the conversation compassionately, don’t be surprised if your loved one isn’t ready to admit they have a problem. “Usually, it’s denied initially,” Dr. John said. But that doesn’t mean you should give up. He recommended approaching the conversation from a factual standpoint — your observations of changes in their behavior or missing medications or money — removed from guilt or shame.

Acknowledgment is unlikely to happen quickly. “It’s an ongoing process of engaging them and seeing if this denial does soften at some point,” he said, adding that it’s also about looking at the ways you or others may be enabling the addiction and trying to slowly back away from those habits.

Get help

Speaking with healthcare professionals is also a huge part of the process, particularly if the problem continues to escalate. Dr. John explains, "It really helps to have the professional and unbiased opinion of someone looking at things as they are and giving you appropriate clinical information.”

"It’s overwhelming. It’s scary. And it’s heartbreaking," Sharon wrote. "But you are not alone. And more than ever, you can take real steps to help someone you love through the cycle of opioid addiction."

The journey with a loved one experiencing opioid dependence isn’t something anyone would choose, but there are tools and treatment options available. Don’t lose hope.

Watch Sharon Osbourne discuss how she handled opioid addiction in her family.

Sharon Osbourne has long been a caregiver of loved ones suffering from opioid or alcohol dependence. Ms. Osbourne does not have opioid or alcohol dependence and neither she nor her loved ones have had treatment with VIVITROL® (naltrexone for extended-release injectable suspension).

BRIEF SUMMARY OF IMPORTANT FACTS ABOUT VIVITROL (naltrexone for extended-release injectable suspension)


What is the most important information I should know about VIVITROL?

VIVITROL can cause serious side effects, including:

1. Risk of opioid overdose. You can accidentally overdose in two ways.

  • VIVITROL blocks the effects of opioids, such as heroin or opioid pain medicines. Do not try to overcome this blocking effect by taking large amounts of opioids—this can lead to serious injury, coma, or death.
  • After you receive a dose of VIVITROL, its blocking effect slowly decreases and completely goes away over time. If you have used opioid street drugs or opioid-containing medicines in the past, using opioids in amounts that you used before treatment with VIVITROL can lead to overdose and death. You may also be more sensitive to the effects of lower amounts of opioids:

–  after you have gone through detoxification

–  when your next VIVITROL dose is due

–  if you miss a dose of VIVITROL

–  after you stop VIVITROL treatment

Tell your family and the people closest to you of this increased sensitivity to opioids and the risk of overdose.

2. Severe reactions at the site of injection. Some people on VIVITROL have had severe injection site reactions, including tissue death. Some of these reactions have required surgery. Call your healthcare provider right away if you notice any of the following at any of your injection sites:

  • intense pain
  • the area feels hard
  • large area of swelling
  • lumps
  • blisters
  • an open wound
  • a dark scab

Tell your healthcare provider about any reaction at an injection site that concerns you, gets worse over time, or does not get better within two weeks.

3. Sudden opioid withdrawal. To avoid sudden opioid withdrawal, you must stop taking any type of opioid, including street drugs; prescription pain medicines; cough, cold, or diarrhea medicines that contain opioids; or opioid-dependence treatments, including buprenorphine or methadone, for at least 7 to 14 days before starting VIVITROL. If your healthcare provider decides that you don’t need to complete detox first, he or she may give you VIVITROL in a medical facility that can treat sudden opioid withdrawal. Sudden opioid withdrawal can be severe and may require hospitalization.

4. Liver damage or hepatitis. Naltrexone, the active ingredient in VIVITROL, can cause liver damage or hepatitis. Tell your healthcare provider if you have any of these symptoms during treatment with VIVITROL:

  • stomach area pain lasting more than a few days
  • dark urine
  • yellowing of the whites of your eyes
  • tiredness

Your healthcare provider may need to stop treating you with VIVITROL if you get signs or symptoms of a serious liver problem.


What is VIVITROL?

VIVITROL is a prescription injectable medicine used to:

  • treat alcohol dependence. You should stop drinking before starting VIVITROL.
  • prevent relapse to opioid dependence, after opioid detoxification.

You must stop taking opioids before you start receiving VIVITROL. To be effective, VIVITROL must be used with other alcohol or drug recovery programs such as counseling. VIVITROL may not work for everyone. It is not known if VIVITROL is safe and effective in children.


Who should not receive VIVITROL?

Do not receive VIVITROL if you:

  • are using or have a physical dependence on opioid-containing medicines or opioid street drugs, such as heroin. To test for a physical dependence on opioid-containing medicines or street drugs, your healthcare provider may give you a small injection of a medicine called naloxone. This is called a naloxone challenge test. If you get symptoms of opioid withdrawal after the naloxone challenge test, do not start treatment with VIVITROL at that time. Your healthcare provider may repeat the test after you have stopped using opioids to see whether it is safe to start VIVITROL.
  • are having opioid withdrawal symptoms. Opioid withdrawal symptoms may happen when you have been taking opioid containing medicines or opioid street drugs regularly and then stop. Symptoms of opioid withdrawal may include: anxiety, sleeplessness, yawning, fever, sweating, teary eyes, runny nose, goose bumps, shakiness, hot or cold flushes, muscle aches, muscle twitches, restlessness, nausea and vomiting, diarrhea, or stomach cramps.
  • are allergic to naltrexone or any of the ingredients in VIVITROL or the liquid used to mix VIVITROL (diluent). See the medication guide for the full list of ingredients.


What should I tell my healthcare provider before receiving VIVITROL?

Before you receive VIVITROL, tell your healthcare provider if you:

  • have liver problems, use or abuse street (illegal) drugs, have hemophilia or other bleeding problems, have kidney problems, or have any other medical conditions.
  • are pregnant or plan to become pregnant. It is not known if VIVITROL will harm your unborn baby.
  • are breastfeeding. It is not known if VIVITROL passes into your milk, and if it can harm your baby. Naltrexone, the active ingredient in VIVITROL, is the same active ingredient in tablets taken by mouth that contain naltrexone. Naltrexone from tablets passes into breast milk. Talk to your healthcare provider about whether you will breastfeed or take VIVITROL. You should not do both.

Tell your healthcare provider about all the medicines you take, including prescription and non-prescription medicines, vitamins, and herbal supplements. Especially tell your healthcare provider if you take any opioid-containing medicines for pain, cough or colds, or diarrhea.

If you are being treated for alcohol dependence but also use or are addicted to opioid-containing medicines or opioid street drugs, it is important that you tell your healthcare provider before starting VIVITROL to avoid having sudden opioid withdrawal symptoms when you start VIVITROL treatment.


What are other possible serious side effects of VIVITROL?

VIVITROL can cause serious side effects, including:

Depressed mood. Sometimes this leads to suicide, or suicidal thoughts, and suicidal behavior. Tell your family members and people closest to you that you are taking VIVITROL.

Pneumonia. Some people receiving VIVITROL treatment have had a type of pneumonia that is caused by an allergic reaction. If this happens to you, you may need to be treated in the hospital.

Serious allergic reactions. Serious allergic reactions can happen during or soon after an injection of VIVITROL. Tell your healthcare provider or get medical help right away if you have any of these symptoms:

  • skin rash
  • swelling of your face, eyes, mouth, or tongue
  • trouble breathing or wheezing
  • chest pain
  • feeling dizzy or faint


Common side effects of VIVITROL may include: 

  • nausea
  • sleepiness
  • headache
  • dizziness
  • vomiting
  • painful joints
  • decreased appetite
  • muscle cramps
  • cold symptoms
  • trouble sleeping
  • toothache

These are not all the side effects of VIVITROL. Tell your healthcare
provider if you have any side effect that bothers you or that does not
go away. You are encouraged to report all side effects to the FDA.
Visit www.fda.gov/medwatch, or call 1-800-FDA-1088.


This is only a summary of the most important information about VIVITROL.

Need more information? 

  • Ask your healthcare provider or pharmacist.


Read the Medication Guide, which is available at vivitrol.com and by calling 1-800-848-4876, option #1.

This Brief Summary is based on the VIVITROL Medication Guide

(Rev. July 2013).

This post is sponsored by Let's Change the Conversation, an initiative brought to you by Alkermes, the maker of VIVITROL®.

ALKERMES and VIVITROL are registered trademarks of Alkermes, Inc.

©2018 Alkermes, Inc. All rights reserved.

VIV-003945 Printed in the U.S.A.

vivitrol.com

How Bachelor Nation Reacted to the Next Bachelor

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Another chapter of Bachelor in Paradise is coming to an end, but a new chapter of The Bachelor will soon begin — and ABC has just announced that Colton Underwood, who left Paradise just shy of the finale, will be the flagship franchise’s next leading man

More: The Search for the Next Bachelor Is Over, but Who Is It?

Appearing on Good Morning America on Tuesday, Underwood seemed ready to find a woman worthy of his final rose. “Third time is the charm. That’s what they say, right?” Underwood told host Michael Strahan. 

But some many fans aren’t convinced Underwood really is committed to the process. What they seem far surer of is that the network could have done better in picking the next Bachelor. 

When fans first met Underwood, he was vying for Becca Kufrin’s heart on her season of The Bachelorette. He made it all the way to "fourth place” before Kufrin sent him packing shortly after her friend and fellow Bachelor contestant Tia Booth admitted she had feelings for Underwood (the two met when Underwood was being cast for Kufrin’s season). 

More: Bachelor in Paradise Hasn't Even Started, & We're Already Over Tia & Colton

Underwood and Booth then both showed up on Bachelor in Paradise, and their on-again, off-again relationship became the central storyline of the season. Although Underwood expressed his confusion over his feelings more than once, he felt more confident after a visit from Kufrin gave him closure. 

Still, a short time after going “all in” with Booth, Underwood ultimately decided it wasn’t fair to her to move forward when his heart wasn’t fully in it. He broke things off and left Paradise, with Booth leaving immediately after. 

The morning after their unceremonious breakup aired, Underwood was tapped to be the next Bachelor. Not surprisingly, the internet felt some kind of way about it. 

In defense of ABC’s pick, there’s plenty that makes Underwood quote-unquote good TV. A former NFL player, he has all-American appeal — the fact that he formerly dated Olympian Aly Raisman only magnifies this image. 

Most notably, though, Underwood revealed to Kufrin that, at 26 years old, he is still a virgin

Speaking to People this week, he touched on what will very likely be a central topic throughout his Bachelor journey. “I’m going to live my life and do what I’ve always done,” Underwood said. “[Being a virgin] needs to be normalized; it’s just who I am and what I believe in. I hold a lot of value in it and I hold it to a high standard. I’m just waiting for the right heart.”

More: Raven Gates Just Jumped in a Twitter Feud to Defend Her Bachelor BFF's Honor

In fact, during his Good Morning America appearance, Underwood revealed being authentic throughout his Bachelor Nation journey is a point of personal pride. 

“That’s one thing that I took pride in on both seasons, just being true to who I am. I think it took all of that to get to where I am at now and know who I am as a person and know what I want in a life partner,” Underwood said. 

Brooke Shields & Daughter Grier Wow at Hampton Classic Horse Show

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Model and actor Brooke Shields rarely makes public appearances with her daughters, so her attendance at the Hampton Classic Horse Show on Sunday with daughter Grier, 12, garnered plenty of attention.

MoreBeckhams Slammed for Water Guns on Cover Shot of British Vogue

It's no surprise Shields and Grier popped up at the Hampton Classic. Shields is also a horse lover and rider, as evidenced by her Instagram posts:


People says this spotting of the two of them together is pretty rare since Shields rarely posts images of her children on social media. In fact, she's wary of social media altogether when it comes to her kiddos. 

Back in May, Shields raved about her two girls (she also shares daughter Rowan, 15, with husband Chris Henchy) to the magazine, telling the interviewer that her daughters help her feel confident — and also school her in social media etiquette and swipe items from her closet. 

Despite her need for her daughter's help with the ins and outs of social media, Shields admitted to People in a previous 2016 interview that she's an extra-protective mom when it comes to things like her girls' online use and exposure: “My daughter Rowan doesn’t have any of her passwords. She has to ask me to log her in. She’s so mad and embarrassed with her friends, but I’m tough like that,” Shields told People. “It’s the least that I can do, the rest is so hard,” she said. “You don’t want to overprotect them and then they have no armor — so it’s a balance.”

It's no surprise she takes protecting her kids (without overprotecting them) so seriously. This past Mother's Day, she posted a pic of herself with her ginger-haired daughters. She captioned the photo, "My girls. Out of all the jobs I've had, this is by far my favorite one. Happy Mother's Day to all the mamas out there." Awww.

MoreBaby Names That '90s Kids Will Love

Shields seems to be balancing it all — work, motherhood, marriage and equestrian life — with her usual grace. 

How to Prepare Kids With Hay Fever for School

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Hay fever is just a fancy way of saying allergies — those stereotypical allergies with sneezing, a runny nose and itchy, watery eyes. While it's common to be on the lookout for these allergies in the spring when nature is in bloom, it's not uncommon for kids to experience the same symptoms year-round.

"You can get it any time of year," says Dr. Purvi Parikh, an allergist and immunologist with the Allergy & Asthma Network. This means that just when you start to think your little one is fighting a back-to-school cold and you want to blame other germy kids, their runny nose and sneezing bouts could actually be hay fever at work. Dr. Neeta Ogden, an allergist and asthma specialist, explains further. “Starting in late August, we experience a ragweed season, and typically there’s another bump up of allergy symptoms similar to what you see in the spring,” she says. 

But, what can you do before the first day of school?

“There are two kinds of kids. Those that you know have seasonal allergies and those where you may not know because they’ve never had it before,” explains Dr. Ogden. If your child falls into the former camp, make sure the school nurse is aware of what you’ve discussed with your allergist and has all the proper treatments for a flare-up whether it's pills, spray or an inhaler. Be particularly diligent if your child has asthma. 

“Traditionally, kids with asthma tend to have more severe symptoms,” adds Dr. Ogden. “It’s important to make sure your child is on their daily medication so they’re controlled before they’re exposed to a trigger,” she says.

But aren’t there other important regimens besides medications? Of course. And it’s not unlike what you would do in the spring. First, sleep with closed windows. According to Dr. Parikh, early morning is when pollen counts are highest. Additionally, bath time before bedtime is a must in order to wash off the allergens that may be hanging on for dear life — to clothes, to skin, to hair, wherever they may have accumulated at recess. Dr. Ogden recommends gently wiping down eyes and eyelids as well. Plus, be aware of pets that may be attracting allergens into their bedroom.

As far as those kids who’ve never experienced allergies, if your kid does get sick and you’re starting to question whether it’s really a cold, the best way to tell is the recurrence of symptoms. “A cold will last for a week to 10 days, and then you really do get better. With allergies, you’ll find that the symptoms recur,” says Ogden. That’s when it’s time to visit an allergist (and maybe invest in an air purifier).

Vice versa, if you think your kid has allergies, and you give them antihistamines, watch closely to see if the symptoms really do get better. According to Ogden, antihistamines might dry out a runny nose, but if your kid has a cold, they’ll still feel pretty lousy.  While it’s frustrating to determine the difference, the good news is both are fairly nonthreatening and easy to treat once you get to the bottom of the symptoms. 

This post is sponsored by Children's Allegra.







It's Official — French Fries & Champagne Are the Perfect Food Pairing

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Pairing food and wine has a reputation for being something only the experts can get a handle on. But sparkling wines like Champagne are actually known to pair fairly well with a lot of foods, and now one expert is claiming that the duo of french fries and Champagne is one of the best.

In an interview with The Drinks Business, Marie-Christine Osselin, Moët & Chandon's wine quality and communication manager, said that junk food and Champagne actually go very well together.

More: How to Pair Your Favorite Trader Joe's Foods With Wine

French fries are especially good with the drink according to Osselin. They're crispy, salty and fatty, all things that play well with the high acidity and fine bubbles of Champagne. She recommends a meal of fried oysters and French fries, though you could always upgrade to something like tempura lobster if you want to feel fancy.  

Osselin isn't alone in her thinking. Fried food has long been hailed as an ideal partner for bubbly. Top Chef alumnus Richard Blais has a Moët Champagne vending machine at his fried chicken restaurant, The Crack Shack. There's even a Champagne bar in San Francisco called The Riddler that specializes in pairing sparkling wines with foods like popcorn, tater tot waffles and caviar served with potato chips.

More: Your Lowbrow Guide to What to Drink With Halloween Candy

The next time you want to class up your McDonald's order, swing by the store on your way home and pick up a bottle of bubbly. Your large fry will taste a lot classier with Champagne than a cup of Mountain Dew, that's for sure.


Ellen DeGeneres' Announcement of Her New Netflix Special Was So Ellen

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Who couldn’t use a little more Ellen DeGeneres in their life? If tuning into the hilarious host’s daytime talk show just leaves you wanting more, you’re in luck. DeGeneres is returning to stand-up with a comedy TV special, and Netflix just released exciting new details about the gig. 

Per the streaming giant, the special will be titled Relatable. It was filmed at the Benaroya Hall in Seattle during DeGeneres’ three-city tour last month. And what makes the show so special in part is that it is taking place 15 years after her last turn at stand-up, HBO’s Ellen DeGeneres: Here and Now.

More: 15 Times Ellen DeGeneres' Charity Donations Were Amazing

DeGeneres addressed the breaking details about the special during Tuesday’s Ellen DeGeneres Show, telling her audience, “I mentioned that I worked a lot over the summer. What I did was I went back to stand-up.”

The comedian confessed that she recently came to the realization stand-up was missing from her life, and she wanted to remedy that. 

“I didn’t do stand-up for 15 years and just, all of a sudden, I was like, ‘I miss stand-up. I want to do it.’ So I made a deal with Netflix. And I was working on stand-up all summer,” DeGeneres said, adding, “It was so much fun. I loved it so much.” 

Netflix even got in on the fun, creating their own special announcement video featuring DeGeneres. 

More: Ellen DeGeneres Is Coming Soon to a Walmart Near You (Well, Sort Of)

Netflix didn’t just throw DeGeneres into the deep end by filming from the get-go, though. They gave the comedian the opportunity to get back in the swing of things with shows at San Diego’s Balboa Theater and San Francisco’s Davies Symphony Hall before the taping at Seattle. 

But that’s not to say they don’t have total confidence in DeGeneres’ comedic chops. According to Forbes, the streaming service shelled out a whopping $20 million for the showcase. 

While it’s interesting to note that DeGeneres chose to partner with Netflix for the special as opposed to HBO — who released her prior specials and is in the same family as the producer of her talk show — it’s also unlikely to be indicative of any drama. 

More: The Reason Ellen DeGeneres Had to Apologize to Jenna Dewan on Live TV

In addition to the new comedy special for Netflix, DeGeneres has been juggling production for quite a few projects outside the Time Warner corporate family. This includes three projects for NBC as well as a Dr. Seuss-inspired animated family comedy for Netflix.

And while it may still be a while before those come to fruition, you won’t have to wait too long. Per Netflix, the comedy showcase will debut on Dec. 18. 

The Definitive Rules of Rebound Sex

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Breakups are never fun. Even when it’s for the best, it can be a big life shift to lose a partner. Despite the old adage, is the best way of getting over someone actually getting under someone else? 

“We’re programmed to seek connection, so even if we’re not practically prepared for another relationship, we’re emotionally coded to desire intimacy and closeness,” sexologist Dr. Jess O’Reilly tells SheKnows. “This is why rebound relationships and rebound sex are common.”

Here are the ground rules for having rebound sex when a relationship ends. 

Recognize it’s a temporary Band-Aid fix

Rebound sex may distract you for a night or make you feel sexually desirable, but any situation where you tie your self-worth to another person’s approval is a waste of time. While this tactic may work for some people, screwing someone else often screws you.

Think before trying a FWB scenario

If you're thinking about starting a friends-with-benefits arrangement with a friend, you may want to think again.

“It sounds so easy to have sex with someone you already know: You can bypass the whole ‘meeting strangers’ thing,” Dr. Tina B. Tessina (aka "Dr. Romance"), psychotherapist and author of Dr. Romance's Guide to Finding Love,  tells SheKnows. “However, if you’re thinking about having sex with a friend, be very careful, because it is not easy to preserve a friendship once you have sex. You may think you can control your feelings, but it's not so simple.”

Be upfront

Don't hide what you're doing. Let your prospective sex partner know exactly what's up.

“If you’re just coming out of a relationship and want sex, then be honest with the other person about it,” author and dating and relationship expert Jonathan Bennett tells SheKnows. “You don’t have to say, ‘I just want sex,’ since that’s not exactly romantic or charming. But make it clear from the start that you’re not looking for anything serious.”

But it may help you cope with pain & boost confidence

In some cases, rebound sex may be a much-needed boost of confidence. If you see it for what it is, it could potentially help kick-start the healing process. 

Don’t judge yourself

Even though it seems counterintuitive, don't be hard on yourself.

“Many people feel guilty about pursuing sex without a relationship. However, as long as you’re upfront with the other person, there’s nothing wrong with two consenting adults having sex — and — *gasp!* — enjoying it!” Bennett says. 

Safer sex rules still apply

Just because you're not looking for a relationship, it doesn't mean you shouldn't avail yourself of protection during your sexual encounter.

“You cannot know for sure what the sexual practices and history of a new partner are; no matter how honest they may seem to be or how much you trust them,” Tessina explains. “People are notoriously uncomfortable disclosing their sexual history, especially if they’re concerned that it will damage their relationship with you. Add to this the fact that there are many STIs a person may not realize they have, such as certain forms of herpes simplex II virus.” 

The consequences of STIs or an unwanted pregnancy can last a lifetime.

Don’t wait too long

Many women wait a long time to engage in sex again after a breakup, divorce or death of a loved one. During that time of sexual inactivity, a woman's vagina changes, and the first time she does have sex after a dry spell, it can be painful according to Dr. Alyssa Dweck, a practicing gynecologist in Westchester County, New York. 

“When the vaginal area is inactive, it becomes dry and less elastic because there is less blood flow to the tissue, which causes it to become more delicate,” Dweck tells SheKnows. “Lack of use of the vagina, just like other parts of the body, can cause pain once you to start to use it again. If you don't use, you'll lose it.” 

Don’t let your breakup break you

Grieving the loss of a relationship is a process much like mourning a death. You may feel wrecked, but know there will be better days ahead. If you do have rebound sex to fill your physical or emotional needs, it’s fine. There’s really no right or wrong way to deal with a breakup (self-harming or suicidal behavior aside, in which case, please seek help).

“I don’t think that we realize that we’re rebounding,” says O’Reilly. “We’re simply seeking to fulfill the shared human desire for connection. Though some people may seek a new relationship or casual sex in order to boost self-esteem or assuage anxieties about being alone, many are simply looking for genuine love, companionship and pleasure.” 

You Can Now Travel Through Vietnam Like Anthony Bourdain

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It's no secret Anthony Bourdain loved Vietnam. Now, Diep Nguyen, who assisted Bourdain on one of his trips to Vietnam for Parts Unknown, has created a two-week food tour of the country that follows Bourdain's path through the country.

Called "A Tribute to Anthony Bourdain: Taste of Vietnam," the trip consists of 14 days and 13 nights in the country. Travelers will explore nine different cities where they can "follow in the footsteps, and more importantly, sit at the tables," according to Exotic Voyages, the company putting on the tour with Nguyen.

More: 5 of Anthony Bourdain's Best Recipes to Try If You Haven't Yet

Anthony Bourdain visited Vietnam twice on No Reservations and twice in Parts Unknown. "Going to Vietnam the first time was life-changing for sure," he said in an interview with Conde Nast Traveler. "Maybe because it was all so new and different to my life before and the world I grew up in. The food, culture, landscape and smell; they’re all inseparable. It just seemed like another planet; a delicious one that sort of sucked me in and never let go."

The Exotic Voyages food tour will visit several of the memorable establishments where Bourdain himself dined on his shows, from the famous Lunch Lady restaurant in Saigon where he dined on bún bò huê' to the restaurant in Hanoi where Bourdain and Barack Obama shared a meal of bun cha. There are visits to markets and cooking classes included in the trips as well as a few free days where travelers can explore on their own.

Rates start at $3,755 per person, which includes all your meals, transportation during the trip (you'll have to get yourself to and from Vietnam) and accommodations.

More: Anthony Bourdain's Life & Legacy Will Be Honored in a New Documentary

Nguyen says that working with Bourdain on Parts Unknown was "the experience of a lifetime" and that it helped her not only "understand the man himself but how his love for my beautiful Vietnam developed over good food and conversation." This tour is a way of helping other people discover the food traditions and culture of Vietnam — with the late, great Bourdain as their guide.

Motherhood Is Getting More Expensive — & It's Hurting These Women the Most

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Motherhood isn't cheap. It's no surprise that raising children costs a pretty penny, but many women underestimate the demands of parenthood and the difficulties that come with being a working parent according to new research. That's why, though most plan to, more moms aren't staying in the workforce.

The research (which has not yet been published in a peer-reviewed journal) suggests that motherhood has been becoming ever more demanding since the 1990s, when the share of women in the United States labor force leveled off after steadily climbing for half a century. While today, the share of women ages 25 to 54 years old work about the same as women of their age group did in 1995, according to The New York Times, more women have college degrees and access to jobs that entice them to delay marriage and family plans. But as women penetrate new positions in droves, men have not bumped up their share of childcare and home and family responsibilities quite the same.

More: Your Coworkers Might Be Making You a Bad Mom According to New Study

As a result, parents now spend more of their income on childcare, and they have more pressure to engage in enriching activities with their children when they do indeed find the time away from work. Of course, those activities can also cost them. In fact, in the U.S. alone, mothers spend $2 trillion each year, controlling 80 percent of household spending.

But working women underestimate the cost of parenting — especially college-educated women who'd assumed they'd invest in an education, establish themselves a career and maintain and build that career over time according to the study's authors, Ilyana Kuziemko and Jenny Shen of Princeton, Jessica Pan of the National University of Singapore and Ebonya Washington of Yale.

The researchers, who pulled data from the Labor Department’s National Longitudinal Surveys, the University of Michigan’s Panel Study of Income Dynamics and the British Household Panel Survey, found that juggling inflexible work hours and parenting demands is largely responsible for a sharp decline in women's employment after the birth of their first child — even despite the fact that previous research found mothers to actually make better employees.

More: I'm the Mom of an Only Child — Stop Saying These 5 Things to Me

In that study, researchers for Microsoft surveyed 500 employers and 2,000 women and found both groups of participants believed that women became better employees after giving birth. Sixty-two percent of employers said moms made better team players. Almost two-thirds of moms said their multitasking skills improved after having a baby and almost half said their time-management skills got better. More than 25 percent of moms said they became more organized too.

For many women, not going back to work was never the plan. In fact, for more than three decades, no more than 2 percent of female high school seniors planned to be "homemakers" by the time they reached 30 years old, even though they did want to be mothers. And although women aren't any less satisfied with their jobs after giving birth, according to the new research, between 15 and 18 percent of women stay home nonetheless.

Highly educated women were less likely to quit working than less educated women, but they were more likely to admit that being a parent was harder than they'd ever anticipated. It's hard for a lot of them because the cost of childcare has increased, women still don't earn equal pay, there's a lack of family-friendly policies like paid family leave and subsidized childcare in the United States, and working mothers work the equivalent of two-and-a-half full-time jobs.

More: Microsoft Says It Will Drop Biz Partners That Don't Offer Paid Family Leave

The average cost of day care in the United States is $11,666 per year (or $972 a month), according to the National Association of Child Care Resource and Referral Agencies. Prices range from $3,582 to $18,773 a year (or $300 to $1,564 monthly). In fact, the cost of childcare has jumped by 65 percent since the 1980s according to the research. And without childcare, women — who still only earn about 80 cents to the male dollar and aren't afforded as family-friendly paid leave policies as women in some other countries — are working nonstop. A recent Welch's study showed that, when you factor in family duties, working moms pretty much never stop. They work the equivalent of two full-time jobs, clocking in an average of 98 hours per week. The average working mom typically begins her day at 6:23 a.m. and doesn't stop working until 8:31 p.m.

“It is deeply puzzling that at a moment when women are more prepared than ever for long careers in the labor market, norms would change in a manner that encourages them to spend more time at home,” the researchers wrote.

The rising cost of motherhood is outpacing the rising number of women in the workforce and, consequently, stalling the increase of women who stay in the workforce too.


A version of this post previously appeared on Fairygodboss, the largest career community that helps women get the inside scoop on pay, corporate culture, benefits and work flexibility. Founded in 2015, Fairygodboss offers company ratings, job listings, discussion boards and career advice.

Monica Lewinsky Walked Offstage During an Interview — for a Totally Valid Reason

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During a live interview in Jerusalem on Monday night, Monica Lewinsky walked offstage after Israeli TV news anchor Yonit Levi of Hadashot News asked an off-limits question about Lewinsky's past with former President Bill Clinton.

More: Monica Lewinsky's Anti-Bullying PSA Shows Consequences of Online Comments IRL

During that 15-minute conversation, Levi pressed Lewinsky at the beginning of the interview to comment on whether or not she still hopes to receive a formal apology from Clinton. That question, Lewinsky clarified in her tweet, had been ruled out the day before. When Levi brought it up, it was quickly deemed off-limits.


In a post made later by Lewinsky to Twitter, the speaker and anti-bullying activist stated that it had previously been established no questions about the former president would be entertained. When Lewinsky realized what she called the “clear parameters” set forth were being disregarded, she politely apologized before exiting the stage.

“After a talk today on the perils and positives of the Internet, there was to be a 15-minute conversation to follow up on the subject of my speech (not a news interview). There were clear parameters about what we would be discussing and what we would not,” Lewinsky wrote. “When she asked me it on stage, with blatant disregard for our agreement, it became clear to me I had been misled."

Then, Lewinsky made the point which should be the greatest takeaway from this incident: “I left because it is more important than ever for women to stand up for themselves and not allow others to control their narrative.” 

Because here’s the thing — the narrative of Lewinsky’s life has largely been dictated to her by political pundits, comedians, far-right websites and garden-variety internet trolls. She is a woman with a painfully thorough grasp of what it means to have someone control your narrative. 

In the era of #MeToo and other feminist driven movements, how is it that we remain so reductive where Lewinsky is concerned? 

Her behavior in leaving the stage will likely be misconstrued as “bitchy.” She will be deemed a diva. There will be those who undoubtedly justify their cruel summations of Lewinsky by referencing a poor decision she made at only 22 years old to get swept up in a romance with an extremely powerful and charismatic married man. 

Lewinsky understands all too well what happens when women are unable to stand up for themselves. She is our modern day Hester Prynne, forced to dwell in shame for all her days for her one big mistake. She has endured endless mockery, being blacklisted from even unpaid work, becoming a caricature of her former self — sometimes quite literally a Halloween costume trotted out for cheap laughs. 

More: Monica Lewinsky Reveals Suicidal Thoughts Over Clinton Affair

The machine that controlled Lewinsky’s narrative for so long was far too encompassing and powerful for her to fight against. So she decided instead to turn her experience into a teachable moment. She has since become a major force in the anti-bullying realm, sharing her story to help others. 

If her voice could have been heard over the din of public scrutiny for the past two decades, you would have heard that. Or perhaps you would have heard that she’s a valued contributor at Vanity Fair, turning out witty and insightful think pieces on a regular basis. Maybe you would be less surprised to learn that she's a board member for the children's advocacy organization The Childhood Resilience Foundation

Such wasn’t the case for Lewinsky, which is why her actions on that stage in Jerusalem are so crucial — she is speaking up, and she is doing so in a way that positions her as a cautionary tale. More than 20 years later, one indiscretion still haunts her. And not because it is valid, but because that’s the “spin” she was given all those years ago. 

At this point, the question asked by Levi (and the subject matter it is based on) is irrelevant and, even more tragically, serves as a distraction from the truly important work Lewinsky is doing. 

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