How do you know when you’re ready to get pregnant? Can you ever really be ready, or is it, as some say, something you just have to do if you want to do it? (That makes it sound easier than it is.) What are the parts of your life that would need, or needed, to come together so you felt as ready as possible? Was there a moment when something clicked and you knew it was the right time? What does “ready” even mean? I talked to several women about this mysterious knowing, which at times proved not at all mysterious.
“I wanted a family more than I ever felt a desire to have a baby,” said J, whose son is 8 weeks old. “I found myself ready for a change to my routine, and I found I had time that I thought I could devote to a child.”
For K, it was a number of things aligning that cued her in that it was the right time to get pregnant. “I had moved in with the dude I knew I wanted to be the father of my kids, and because he realized he was ready too. I always wanted children, though, so it was a fairly straightforward matter of finding the right person and getting the timing right.”
Even if it seemed straightforward in terms of finding a partner, there were, of course, still considerations for K in regard to how getting pregnant and having a baby would impact her career. “I took a higher-paying job, and San Francisco passed a law requiring employers to supplement mothers’ pay during maternity-leave, which made the maternity leave aspect of the whole baby thing a lot easier to imagine.”
And of course, there was the omnipresent question, “Could we really do this?”
“Once, good friends of ours also got pregnant,” explained K, “it seemed way less terrifying somehow, and we knew we wouldn’t be going through it alone.”
The answer to the question, “How did you know you were ready to get pregnant?” was almost always in tandem with, “How did you know you were ready to have kids?”
It might seem like these are basically the same question, but they aren’t. Getting pregnant or starting to try to conceive is about taking on a new body, literally. You might not have trouble getting pregnant, and it might be just a matter of ceasing your birth control method or paying closer attention to when you ovulate. But what if you run into issues or if you know in advance it’s going to be more difficult than just scheduling a time to have sex?
As a single mom by choice, A’s decision to get pregnant was innately more complicated than those made by the couples around her. She had been thinking about getting pregnant on her own for many years, but when she found herself approaching her 40s and saw several close friends working on becoming single moms themselves, she began to think more strategically about it. And while many folks would be hard-pressed to isolate the moment when they “knew” they were ready, A pinpointed something a friend, who was also pursuing single parenthood, told her that proved particularly influential in her decision to move forward.
“She said, ‘I don’t know if I’ll regret it if I don’t do it. But I’m fairly sure I won’t regret it if I do’ That rang true for me,” explained A.
It was then that she decided to speak with doctors about getting pregnant. She explained, “[It was] just to learn what my options were. I rationalized that it didn’t commit me to anything, but by the time I had that appointment, I knew it was what I was going to do.”
For A, being “ready” meant she was taking active steps to get pregnant, like visiting doctors.
“The act of doing that told me I was ready,” shares A. “That I was going to do this. It’s a bit backwards. There was also some fantasizing, mostly about being pregnant, not about having a child.”
Before starting to work on this piece, I spent a lot of time online reading articles about what one should take into consideration before having a baby. What are you willing to sacrifice? Do you have enough money? Is your partner someone you can see yourself having a baby with? There seem to be an endless number of questions one could address, and it’s totally understandable that in thinking about them, one could experience a kind of paralysis. There are definitely things that can help one prepare for becoming a parent, but the question, "Are you ready to get pregnant?” is certainly more intimate than the purchase of a Babybjörn. It’s a question that only the person capable of getting pregnant can and should answer.
In 2017, somehow, some people still think rape jokes are OK. And in this instance, it's even more heartbreaking because the people currently getting dragged hard on Twitter for making a tasteless joke about all the rape accusations against Bill Cosby are none other than Supernatural stars Jared Padalecki and Jensen Ackles.
J2, as they're known to their fans, seem so woke. But at Creation Entertainment's Official Supernatural Convention in New Orleans over the weekend, they dropped the joke, even though it was clearly against their better judgment.
In response to a question from a fan, which was reportedly difficult to make out, Padalecki whispered something in Ackles' ear, to which Ackles replied, "No... no, you can't say that." Fans in the crowd apparently begged Padalecki to tell the joke, even after he told them, "My jokes are all really offensive."
He should have gone with his instincts and refused to say. Instead, he gave into the peer pressure and said, "Excuse me, does the rag smell like chloroform to you?" Then he laughed at his own joke and pretended to drop the mic.
What made it really gross, though, was Ackles' response.
"No, Mr. Cosby," he replied.
Hilarious, dudes. It's not like Bill Cosby is accused of actually drugging, assaulting and raping more than 60 women or anything. Ugh.
Luckily, I don't have to spend too much mental energy on explaining why this was unacceptable AF, because Twitter has been doing it since it happened. But this one pretty much sums it up.
Reactions to J2 rape joke
Reactions to J2 rape joke
Yep, those super-hilarious rape jokes are actually traumatic and truly damaging to victims. So funny, right?
It seems like it's been so long since there were new episodes of Vanderpump Rules, but the wait is finally almost over! (And who can even blame the cast for taking a little hiatus. It must be exhausting to create that much drama all the time).
The trailer for the upcoming sixth season just dropped, and as expected, it gives no clues into what story arcs we might expect, because let's be honest, that's not what any of us are here for. Nope, it's two-and-a-half glorious minutes of snippets of screaming, crying, fighting, drinking and more of the antics we've come to love-hate the staff of SUR for.
There are definitely some surprises, though. Somehow, producers or Lisa Vanderpump or somebody convinced Lala Kent to return to the cast, and part of the deal must have been that people had to be nicer to her, because she's apparently now friends with Katie Maloney and Scheana Marie. Also, somehow there's a scene where Jax Taylor and James Kennedy are having a seemingly civil conversation, and, like, did producers tranquilize them or what? Because that should not be happening.
There are several cuts to Taylor getting what looks like some kind of hypnotherapy for anger management, and we also get to see Stassi Schroeder get dumped by her boyfriend, Patrick Meagher. We're also privy to the moment when Marie learns her new man is cheating on her, because of course that happened with cameras rolling.
New vanderpump rules trailer
New vanderpump rules trailer
The clear high point of the season, however, is that someone full-on throws a large glass of something in Kennedy's face. He's been asking for that since the day he was born, so thank God someone finally did it.
The holiday party season is coming up, and if you're the lucky one hosting, that means you have the honor of cooking, cleaning and making your table look inviting to every friend and family member who RSVP'd. Instagram is a goldmine for beautifully set tables, and lurking around #tablescapes made us wonder: How exactly do we do that? So we found some of our favorite dining table sets and asked an interior designer for her thoughts.
Holiday tablesetting 1
Holiday tablesetting 1
1. Consider the purpose of the table
Are you hoping for a rollicking good time with many cross-conversations or a quieter evening? Tables like the one above serve a casual, energetic dinner well. Andrea Rosewall, an interior designer in Glendale, Arizona, points to the salt and pepper pinch pots as an element that served a relaxed dining experience well.
2. Add natural elements
“Adding fresh elements from the outdoors — like leaf garland, pumpkins and fresh herbs — looks beautiful without being to fussy,” Rosewall told me. She added that the pumpkins were functional too because the centerpiece “allows guest to have conversations without trying to look around a tall and full center piece.”
“You don’t have to use orange, brown, red and yellow” for fall colors, Rosewall says, pointing to the mixture of chalk-colored pumpkins.
4. Use contrast
Pairing dark colors with an all-wood table like this one helps to “punch up that rustic feel,” Rosewall says. If you have a dark table, she recommends offsetting it with candlelight and sparkly decor.
Holiday tablesetting 2
Holiday tablesetting 2
5. Add an unexpected detail
“The special thing about this tablescape is the book page place mats,” Rosewall says, which makes the set “truly charming.” Consider investing in one or two unique classy details to make your tablescape stand out.
Rosewall points to the greenery, which could even be hand-harvested before a party in some areas, and the apples, which are as much decoration as they are food. The white candles add to the “beautiful and simplistic” feeling, she says, and those could be purchased inexpensively at craft stores or even a dollar store.
Holiday tablesetting 3
Holiday tablesetting 3
7. Keep a pop of color
If you’re working with neutral colors like blacks and whites, a pop of color, like the roses in this photo, is key to making the tablescape “not feel too traditional,” Rosewall says.
8. Don’t dismiss linens
“Linens can feel out of date,” Rosewall admits, “but they add a feeling of luxury without being stuffy. It can make the table feel extra special.”
9. Shiny surfaces add glamor
“The crystals, mirrors and glass add a very glam feature to this table,” Rosewall says. Pair glassy surfaces with sharp contrasts like the dark wood table and white plates for an especially luxurious look.
“All the elements tied together are what makes these tables so pin-able,” Rosewall says. Multiple textures, heights and colors all add interest that make a table pop.
In July, Beyoncé broke the internet when she posted the first photo of her newborn twins, Rumi and Sir, on Instagram. But since then, aside from a few grainy paparazzi shots and a handful of reports from anonymous “sources,” there’s been little information about the singer and and husband Jay-Z‘s new bundles of joy.
Thank goodness for Tina Lawson, Beyoncé’s mom, who — like the embarrassing grandma she is — spilled the tea on the details her daughter was likely trying so hard to keep under wraps. (Tina is the real MVP). In an interview with Entertainment Tonight, Tina and her husband, Richard Lawson, dished on the twins’ “very different personalities” and how 5-year-old Blue Ivy is faring as a big sister.
Like the rest of us, Tina can’t handle the cuteness of two Beyoncé babies running around. “[The twins] are doing great. They are absolutely beautiful and so much fun,” Tina said. “I haven’t ever been around twins, but it’s so cute. I can hardly take it.”
But just because Rumi and Sir are twins, it doesn’t mean they have twin personalities. Tina revealed that the twins are kind of polar opposites. “Yes, [it’s crazy]. It’s just really, really different with two babies,” she said. “I mean, a boy and a girl. Very different personalities.”
As for how Blue Ivy is dealing with no longer being an only child, Richard, Beyoncé’s stepdad, revealed that becoming an older sister has pushed the toddler to become more mature. “Just seeing her grow up, it’s bringing some maturity,” Richard said. “She’s only 5, but you can see the transition in terms of her being a little more calm.”
Though despite Blue’s newfound maturity, Richard also admits that she’s still diva and is passing down her “diva-dom” to her younger siblings. “Because she’s the diva,” Richard said. “But she’s sharing her diva-dom.”
With a diva mom, it seems like the personality type is hereditary. And with four diva family members, the Knowles-Carters could definitely rule the world.
Leave it to Grey's Anatomy to bring every fair-goer's worst fear to life — according to ABC, the show's landmark 300th episode involves a derailed roller coaster (yikes!). In happier news, though, fans will apparently be treated to appearances by a few ghosts of Grey's past.
The episode, titled "Who Lives, Who Dies, Who Tells Your Story?", is set to air on Thursday, Nov. 9 at 8/7c on ABC. The hour will be especially suspenseful judging by the official description, which reads, "A roller coaster car falls off the track at the county fair, and the doctors at Grey Sloan tend to patients who spark memories about ghosts from their past."
In a recent interview with TVLine, executive producer/co-showrunner Krista Vernoff alluded to these ghosts, saying, "So I have found a way to pay some small tribute to everyone who has been here before." She calls it "a love letter to the fans who have been watching all 14 years."
Naturally, we're all dying (see what I did there?) to know who these ghosts are. Since the description of the episode states that the patients in the roller coaster accident spark memories of ghosts from the past, there's no real way of knowing — because we don't know who the patients are yet, obviously.
However, there are plenty of ghosts in Grey Sloan Memorial Hospital's past that have the potential for an appearance.
We'll start with the most recent and most imperative: Derek. McDreamy was a total adrenaline junkie who had a need for speed, so perhaps the roller coaster will remind Meredith of that. Or perhaps we'll see a clip of Derek and Meredith taking Zola to a fair when she was younger. There are plenty of ways to go with this, and we want need to see MerDer together again.
Another ghost we'd love to see? Lexi! Maybe one of the people injured in the roller coaster accident is super brainy and starts spouting off random knowledge about, well, everything... just like Lexi-pedia would have. That could spur a Lexi flashback, right?
A third ghost we could totally see making a cameo is good ol' George. T.R. Knight, the actor who played George, returned to Shondaland earlier this year in the now-cancelled series The Catch. That could easily segue into him showing up on Grey's (albeit as a ghost).
Now, here's the thing — maybe the cameos won't be by literal ghosts. Perhaps they will be people from the past who simply left or shifted out of the characters' lives at some point. In this scenario, there are three big contenders.
Since fans were none too happy when Callie was written off the show to go explore life with Penny, it would be nice to see her make an appearance in some sort of flashback. Since there have been some changing dynamics as of late regarding her and Arizona's custody arrangement, it could make sense.
Another possibility, although admittedly slim, is a flashback involving Izzie. Since Alex has recently gotten back together with Jo and things seem to be moving along nicely, it wouldn't be far-fetched for him to think of Izzie as he moves toward marriage with another woman.
Even though there was reportedly some bad blood between Katherine Heigl and showrunner Shonda Rhimes, plenty of time has passed. Maybe the two have patched things up. If an Izzie flashback did occur and somehow translate into Heigl having an arc on Season 14, that would create some very intriguing drama for Alex.
And, finally, there is the ghost of seasons past we're all still hoping and praying will make a cameo on the 300th episode — even though the notion has basically already been shot down. Yes, we're talking about Cristina Yang.
At some point, the show will have to cave into fans' ardent wishes to see Cristina and Meredith united again. So why not now? It's time, Rhimes... it's time.
Selena Gomez and The Weeknd's breakup is yesterday's news (like, literally). Today, Gomez is making headlines for a much happier reason: she has been named Billboard's 2017 Woman of the Year.
The pop star joins the ranks of previous high-profile recipients such as Lady Gaga, Taylor Swift, Beyonce, Katy Perry, Pink and Madonna.
Selena Gomez
Selena Gomez
"Not only is Selena soaring on the charts, but she continuously inspires young women everywhere to be authentic, give back and to not be afraid to use their voice. She is never afraid to speak her mind and has used her platform to advocate for the needs of others. We are thrilled to be able to honor her as our Woman of the Year," explained John Amato, president of The Hollywood Reporter-Billboard Media Group.
Make no mistake, the 25-year-old is definitely deserving.
This year alone, she has seen "Bad Liar, "Fetish" (featuring Gucci Mane) and "It Ain't Me" (with Kygo) land in the top 10 of Billboard's Hot 100 chart. Suffice it to say, this pop star is on fire.
The scope of her talent and influences stretches much farther than singing, of course — Gomez co-produced Netflix's wildly resonant drama 13 Reasons Why, too. She has also partnered with brands like Coach and Puma on collections and thrown herself into her seemingly endless philanthropic causes, such as the Step Up Foundation and fundraising for the Lupus Research Alliance.
Did we mention she also successfully underwent a kidney transplant this year? Gomez's age belies what a force to be reckoned with she is.
Gomez will be presented with the award at the annual Women in Music gala on Nov. 30 at the Ray Dolby Ballroom in Los Angeles. For the first time in the Women in Music event's history, it along with a red-carpet pre-show will be broadcast live on Twitter from 9pm to midnight EST.
Bryan Cranston will be the first to tell you that Donald Trump wasn't the candidate he wanted to become President of the United States of America. However, a new interview reveals that the Breaking Bad actor doesn't want Trump to fail — and he thinks anyone who does is letting their ego cloud their judgment.
Of course, this a change of heart from Cranston's election year assertion that he would move to Canada if Trump became POTUS. But instead of moving north, Cranston has decided that his energy is best spent hoping that perhaps Trump will truly rise to the challenge.
"It's just astonishing to me. President Trump is not the person who I wanted to be in that office, and I've been very open about that," Cranston started. "That being said, he is the president. If he fails, the country is in jeopardy."
By that logic, no one should want Trump to fail, says Cranston. "It would be egotistical for anyone to say, 'I hope he fails.' To that person I would say, 'F*** you. Why would you want that? So you can be right?'" explained Cranston.
What it all basically boils down to, according to Cranston, is building a more bipartisan government — or doing away with the two-party system altogether.
"And if you've got a good idea that helps the country, oh man, I'm gonna support you," Cranston told The Hollywood Reporter. "I don't care if you're a Republican and I'm a Democrat or whatever, I don't care. A good idea's a good idea. Let's do that. We've got to get away from this idea that our country is political football, and someone with a different opinion is the enemy. Assume they love this country as much as you do, and there's always room for improvement. How can we make it better?"
Good question, Cranston — something worth considering across all party lines.
It’s a monthly date you never forget — that feeling down under you can’t ignore: your period. While every woman’s cycle and premenstrual symptoms vary, there are a few helpful ways to improve your every-28-to-30-day release. You could, sure, veg out in front of your computer and cue up HBO Go and get some much-needed R&R, but certain exercises can also benefit your aches, pains, mood swings, cramps and cravings. Yawning at the very idea of pulling on your workout clothes and hitting the gym? We feel you, but as Dr. Jennifer Stagg explains, even just a little movement can make a difference.
“Women who experience painful cramps with their period can get significant benefit from an exercise program that includes abdominal and pelvic stretches regularly for a total of 15 minutes three times per week," she explains. A study out of Mazandaran University of Medical Sciences published this year compared this type of stretching program to taking an anti-inflammatory drug for cramps and the women who stretched had better results by their second menstrual cycle than the women who took the drug.
Here are some recommendations from fitness instructors and medical professionals on the best ways to work up a sweat during that time of the month.
Cycling
Believe it or not, when you’re about to get your period or in the first few days of it, research by menstrual cycle researcher Katharina Dalton, which was published in the British Medical Journal, and a study published in the journal Public Health shows you’re more prone to injury. This is because typically, women feel more lethargic and tired as they prepare to have their cycle, causing them to be less alert and zeroed-in on their surroundings. That’s why Dr. Christopher Hollingsworth suggests a low-impact type of fitness routine to avoid possible accidents. One suggestion is indoor or outdoor cycling, which will rev up your heart rate and get much-needed oxygen pumping through your body without being stressful on your limbs. You also have the option of a low- to moderate-intensity level, either of which will relieve stress, he says.
Especially if you tend to lean a tad higher on the cranky side when you’re menstruating, you might need an extra dose of Zen with that glass (or, ahem, bottle) of wine you’re downing pre-period. This type of exercise is another pick-your-own-difficulty-level according to Hollingsworth. The good news is that even a candlelit slow-flow class can reduce your risk of injury and it limits the demands that a more calorie-burning workout might put on your body. Even if you’re not exactly feeling it, per se, even a quick sequence in the a.m. might lift your spirits so you don’t bite off that kind barista’s head when she gets your order wrong.
Image: Regina Ferrara/SheKnows
Swimming
If your idea of a riveting night in during your period (or, let’s be real, any time of the month) is a bubble bath for one complete with your latest Kindle read and some bubbly, use that same healing power of water to work out. Hollingsworth explains this low-impact type of fitness routine is gentle on your limbs, while still providing a full-body excursion. After doing a few laps, you can also allow the heat of your body and the coolness of the water to soothe your cramps by floating gently for a cool-down.
If you do have more energy, say toward the tail end of your cycle, Jessica Diaz, a barre instructor, explains any type of cardio will help circulate your blood, amp up your mood and help balance your hormones. Just make sure you keep the output moderate and select an activity you truly enjoy.
“Whether that is Zumba, running, biking, boxing, dance — something that gets blood flowing and heart beat up,” she says. “Not only is it great for improving cardiovascular health, cardio can also combat feelings of sluggishness by pumping you up with feel-good endorphins. Endorphins are natural chemicals released by the brain and can reduce feelings of stress and the sense of the severity of pain caused by cramps.”
Not exactly intrigued by the idea of sweating it out on your heaviest second day? Luckily, Hollingsworth says to receive the same benefits, you don’t have to run. Instead, you can just, well, step. “During a period is the ideal time to do lengthy low-intensity exercise. Going on a five-mile walk is the perfect type of exercise to do while menstruating,” he says.
Back dancing
You’re definitely not expected to bust out your most impressive dance move during your period, but you can at least do a little jiggle to help relieve the lower back pain that menstruating sometimes causes, says Diaz. It also doesn’t require much effort on your part, as she explains you simply need to turn up your favorite get-in-the-groove jam and lie on your back.
From this comfy position, rest your palms by your side and bend your knees so your feet are flat on the floor with your hips width-distance apart. Then engage your pelvic floor muscles by lifting your glutes off the mat in a low bridge followed by softening and lowering the base of your rib cage toward the mat. Now comes the dancing part: Tilt your pelvis up so you eventually lift your lower back and hips a few inches off the mat, and start grooving to the beat.
“Back dancing is one of my favorite barre exercise and is perfect for releasing pressure on the lower back while at the same time letting you fit in some bonus booty sculpting and abdominal strengthening,” Diaz says.
Late-night Googling can be a dangerous rabbit hole. It starts with looking up one symptom and quickly descends into a full-blown hunt for the next horrific thing that will absolutely definitely happen to your body. For example, yesterday we found out that while carrying a surrogate pregnancy for a Chinese couple, California mom Jessica Allen became pregnant with her own biological child at the same time.
Yes, this can happen: Under certain — very rare — circumstances, you can get pregnant while you’re already pregnant. Given the fact that I am currently not pregnant — nor do I have plans to be anytime soon — I’m not sure how this even ended up on my radar, but here we are.
To get to the bottom of this (and so I’d stop scaring pregnant friends of mine with this fact), I investigated the old-fashioned way: I asked an actual doctor.
Dr. Gerardo Bustillo, an OB-GYN at Orange Coast Memorial Medical Center in Fountain Valley, California, started by explaining that the process I described is called “superfetation,” which refers to the formation of a second pregnancy during a different menstrual cycle while another pregnancy is already established in the uterus.
But wait, there’s more. Bustillo also described a process called “superfecundation,” which is the fertilization of two eggs during the same menstrual cycle from separate acts of sexual intercourse. So yes, it is technically possible for a person to be pregnant with twins conceived with two eggs from the same menstrual cycle but by two different males. That’s called “heteropaternal superfecundation,” and the resulting twins are genetically half-siblings since they only share the genes of the mother, he told me.
Sperm can live inside the female reproductive tract for four to five days, Bustillo noted, and the ovulated egg remains fertilizable for up to 48 hours. This means that the reproductive window may allow for fertilization of a second egg by the same or a different male partner.
How common is it?
We’re not 100 percent sure. Cases of superfecundation are difficult to confirm if the same male is responsible for both fertilizations, Bustillo explained, meaning that it may be more common than suspected.
Cases of heteropaternal superfecundation — where two separate eggs are fertilized by two separate males — have been documented, and although considered rare, may be more common than previously thought, he added.
“Interestingly, in one study on humans, the frequency of heteropaternal superfecundation was 2.4 percent among twins whose parents had been involved in paternity suits,” Bustillo said.
Superfetation, although common in some species of animals, is extremely rare in humans.
So how rare is it?
“There are fewer than 10 reported instances of superfetation in the medical literature since 1960, and in general, reports of superfetation have been treated with suspicion,” Bustillo said.
Does this mean pregnant women should still be using a barrier method birth control if they're having sex while pregnant?
Although considered rare, it is potentially possible for a woman to conceive a second time in very early pregnancy.
But once an early pregnancy test is positive, the superfecundation will have already occurred, Bustillo explained. Because of this, using a barrier method once you already know that you’re pregnant will not decrease the rare risk of superfecundation.
Are there any additional risks associated with getting pregnant while already pregnant?
Any type of multiple gestation — whether that’s twins, triplets or beyond — carries significantly higher risks to the mother and fetuses than a singleton pregnancy, Bustillo said.
In the very rare case of superfetation, there’s an additional risk: that delivery of the full-term twin may also result in delivery of the second baby at the same time, which is therefore born prematurely. This can lead to challenges such as immature lung function and other serious issues in the baby born prematurely, he added.
It looks like fate has brought Michelle Obama and Prince Harry back together once again, and we're so happy it actually happened.
It was a big start to the week for both Barack and Michelle Obama, who were in the process of launching the first ever Obama Foundation Summit. While the Obama Foundation has been in operation for some time, this summit was a unique and special event, which brought together "a collection of high-profile artists, entrepreneurs, world leaders and royalty to meet with hundreds of mostly young up-and-coming leaders," according to USA Today. But perhaps the most exciting addition to the summit roster was the inclusion of Harry himself, who not only showed up to support his friends, but also gave a speech and attended a special smaller chat with Michelle Obama and a group of Chicago high schoolers at Hyde Park Academy.
Before Harry's big talk at the summit proper, he and the former first lady met with local teens who were there to discuss a variety of topics. Seeing as it was a surprise visit, there was no set topic of conversation, so the group appeared to have a freewheeling and honest discussion about everything from the importance of leadership to how people like the Hyde Park Academy students could use their voices to change the world.
Tweets and photos posted by the Kensington Palace Twitter account show Obama and Harry were clearly in their element, sharing in some delightful times with forward-thinking teens.
Michelle Obama Prince Harry Chicago 3
Michelle Obama Prince Harry Chicago 3
But Harry's work wasn't exactly finished. Shortly after leaving Hyde Park Academy, he took the stage at the summit itself to speak to those in attendance about the Full Effect Program. In addition, he spoke to the crowd about how he is currently working to provide a voice for younger leaders; to him, they are the biggest source of hope the future can be better.
So, just to quickly recap: it was not only a great time to be a Chicago resident, because we're pretty sure you could feel the magic in the air just from the presence of the Obamas and Prince Harry, but it was also a summit filled with the sheer force of positivity and hope for the future the aforementioned trio is known for. What a time to be alive, you guys. What a time, indeed.
The six-part miniseries, which premieres on Netflix on Nov.3, tells the story of an Irish immigrant and servant named Grace Marks, who is accused of murdering her employer in 1843, though she claims to have no memory of the event. She was just 16 at the time.
alias grace trailer
alias grace trailer
This show isn't going to be a must-watch for the mere storytelling aspect, but because it's also based on a real-life case, which was first adapted as a novel by Margaret Atwood, the same woman who authored The Handmaid's Tale.
According to The New York Times, few facts about the real-life murder are known. Atwood took liberties with the real-life case, such as adding the fact that Marks claims not to have any memory of the events. In actuality, she confessed to being present for the crime but places a majority of the blame on fellow servant James McDermott.
McDermott, in turn, said he was under Marks' spell.
"Grace Marks is wrong in stating she had no hand in the murder; she was the means from beginning to end," McDermott reportedly stated in his signed confession to George Walton in The Trials of James McDermott and Grace Marks.
Thomas Kinnear, a wealthy Ontario farmer, and his housekeeper, Nancy Montgomery, were murdered on July 28, 1843. One was strangled and one was shot.
Marks and a stable hand James McDermott were convicted for the killings. McDermott was hanged but Marks' sentence was commuted because of her young age and her sex. It seems apparent that people didn't really know what to do with us weak-minded females back in the day. (I say this with a heavy helping of sarcasm.)
Marks entered the Provincial Penitentiary in Kingston, Ontario, on Nov. 19, 1843.
Eight-and-a-half years into her sentence, Marks reportedly began to act mentally unstable. It is unclear if Marks was actually insane or if she simply used that as a method to get a lesser sentence. It has been theorized she suffered from bipolar disorder.
She was pardoned and released in 1873. After that, she moved to New York, where all trace of her was lost.
Atwood writes in the afterward of her book, "The details were sensational: Grace Marks was uncommonly pretty and also extremely young; Kinnear's housekeeper, Nancy Montgomery, had previously given birth to an illegitimate child and was Thomas Kinnear's mistress; at her autopsy, she was found to be pregnant. Grace and her fellow servant James McDermott had run away to the United States together and were assumed by the press to be lovers. The combination of sex, violence and the deplorable insubordination of the lower classes was most attractive to the journalists of the day."
Questions about Marks' guilt still remain to this day. They are questions we will most likely never answer. But thanks to Atwood and the Netflix show coming our way, we will at least have an entertaining way of fitting the puzzle pieces together in this case.
"When there are crimes of violence involving both a man and a woman, it usually goes as follows: nobody ever says the man is a nice guy, but opinion often splits about the woman," Atwood explained to The Guardian. "Either she's the villainous instigator of it all, or else she's a terrified victim and she only did it because she was frightened for her life. That's the pattern with Grace. And there's evidence supporting both sides."
Before I gave birth to my son, one of my biggest fears (aside from pushing a tiny human out of my vagina) was breastfeeding.
I’d heard horror stories of bleeding nipples, over-engorged breasts that leaked night and day and babies who wouldn’t latch, wouldn’t eat or wouldn’t even try. So imagine my relief when, moments after my son was born, he latched and refused to let go — like the boob barnacle he is.
Many thoughts ran through my head, such as, "He latched!" and "My breast milk is immortal!" and "I need a nap." Flash-forward 10 months, and I’m defrosting a bag of that same breast milk to put in a bottle — for someone else’s kid.
For a couple of months after my son Trip was born, my breasts took a while to figure out the whole supply-and-demand thing. They didn’t produce enough milk. This led to something parents dread: Your child is screaming because he's hungry, and you're not able to feed him. I spent many nights shushing and rocking my baby boy, crying and apologizing for my lazy boobs that just could not seem to get their act together. My husband went on countless midnight pharmacy runs to get formula while I pumped for two hours straight and only produced half an ounce of milk.
Eventually, my supply evened out, but all those sleepless nights led to one outcome: My son will not take a bottle. Maybe it's because he had to wait too long for those measly pumped half ounces; maybe it's because when my breasts finally started producing enough, he was like, "This is what I've been waiting for," and clung on for dear life. However we got here, if it’s not a boob, my son has no interest in drinking from it.
We went through dozens of different kinds of bottles — round nipples, flat nipples, one bottle that looked very (a little too) much like a realistic breast, all to no avail. I'm fortunate enough to be at home with Trip most days, so although his bottle refusal was annoying, it wasn't really a problem since my breasts were always available. But it did mean I had bags and bags of valuable pumped breast milk left languishing in my freezer.
When Trip was about 10 months old, the family my mom nannies for had a newborn — a baby girl. When my mom came home one day and suggested that I donate all those bags of frozen breast milk to that newborn, I balked. At first, I was completely weirded out. Why wasn’t her mom breastfeeding her herself?
“She tried it and just really hated it," my mom explained. "But she recognizes that breastfeeding is better for the baby, so was wondering if you would donate yours.”
At the time, this seemed ridiculous to me. "You think breastfeeding is better for your child, but you're skipping it because... you don't like it?" I wondered. I was surprised that I actually felt angry about this, especially because I knew this newborn girl had a 2-year-old sister in day care who would likely bring home all kinds of germs to the poor defenseless newborn. Could breast milk actually help keep her healthy even if it wasn't her mom's?
I stared at the stacks of frozen breast milk crammed in my freezer, jammed under the waffles, and tried to put my emotions aside. "If Trip doesn’t drink these, which he won't, all this breast milk will go to waste," I told myself.
Still, it seemed too personal, like sharing a toothbrush with a stranger. Breast milk is a bodily fluid after all, like blood! Although, OK, donating blood is completely accepted and normal. So why did I still feel uneasy? Maybe I would have felt better if this were a total stranger — some nameless, faceless baby I didn’t see on a regular basis. I had thoughts of running into this girl at the grocery store when she's a teenager and awkwardly blurting out, “You drank my breast milk!”
I polled some of my mom friends. They all said it was weird. But I agreed to do it anyway.
I gathered up the bags of breast milk, put them in a cooler, and dropped them off with my mom to give to the newborn. I didn’t mention any of this to my husband or even some of my friends because I knew there would be people who simply wouldn’t understand. Sure, if the mom was unable to breastfeed for some reason or had an illness that affected her breast milk, they might get why I would donate my milk. But donating my breast milk to a healthy mom who simply chose not to breastfeed? Was I just some kind of modern-day wet nurse?
Today, though, I get that I was off base in my initial questioning. Trip is a year-and-a-half now, and I feel like I've seen it all at this point. I have friends who breastfeed, friends who tried for a while before opting for formula and friends who never tried at all. And guess what: It's all totally fine. It took me a while to realize that breastfeeding isn’t for everyone, that "fed is best" and that all parents have to do what feels right for them, even if that means getting donated breast milk from your daughter's nanny's daughter. Who knew?
Despite my initial hesitation, I’m really glad I donated my breast milk to that baby. And I would absolutely do it again — if I can ever get my own little barnacle to detach, that is.
Josh Groban is safe after being only half a block away from the site of a terrorist attack in Manhattan last night. In a series of tweets, he shared details of what he saw and experienced during the terrifying event.
Groban was walking his dog in downtown New York City when it happened. His first tweet read, "Oh my god I just heard gunshots and ran with my dog. Downtown. Fuck."
Josh Groban tweets about terror attack in NYC today 1
Josh Groban tweets about terror attack in NYC today 1
A few minutes later, he wrote again.
"I hope everyone's ok," he said. "Was half a block from me, didn't see it but heard 8-10 quick rounds fired off. Be safe with your kids out there."
Josh Groban tweets about terror attack in NYC today 2
Josh Groban tweets about terror attack in NYC today 2
Shortly after, Groban updated again to say that he was shaking because he had planned to have coffee near where a man in a rented truck sped down a crowded bike path, hitting pedestrians and cyclists. New York City Mayor Bill De Blasio described it as "a cowardly act of terror." Six people were killed instantly and two more died later. More than a dozen others were injured. Police shot the man, identified as Sayfullo Habibullaevic Saipov, who immigrated legally to the U.S. in 2010 from Uzbekistan according to CNN.
Josh Groban tweets about terror attack in NYC today 3
Josh Groban tweets about terror attack in NYC today 3
After the deadliest terror attack in New York City since 9/11, Groban praised the first responders who arrived quickly to the scene.Refinery29 reports that after similar attacks involving vehicles being driven into densely populated areas in Europe and other parts of the U.S., NYPD have been trained in how to handle this specific kind of scenario.
Josh Groban tweets about terror attack in NYC today 4
Josh Groban tweets about terror attack in NYC today 4
Josh Groban tweets about terror attack in NYC today 5
Josh Groban tweets about terror attack in NYC today 5
Updated Nov. 1, 2017, 8:35 a.m. PT: We already knew that Netflix was ending House of Cards after its upcoming season following accusations of sexual assault made against Kevin Spacey. But now, the streaming service has gone a step further and halted production on the sixth season of the hit political drama.
"MRC and Netflix have decided to suspend production on House of Cards season six, until further notice, to give us time to review the current situation and to address any concerns of our cast and crew," the company said in a statement.
How Netflix will proceed with this remains to be seen, but in the meantime, we'll just keep living for that Claire Underwood spinoff that's reportedly in the works.
Original story:
In light of alarming sexual assault allegations made against its star, Kevin Spacey, House of Cards is officially folding — Netflix made the announcement Monday that the popular series' upcoming sixth season will be its last. However, a House of Cards spinoff will take its place.
The spinoff is reportedly in the early stages of development according to Variety. Although no specific characters or storyline are attached so far, Variety confirms that the new show will take place in the same universe as the original House of Cards.
Since Netflix and Media Rights Capital decided to end House of Cards after its sixth season, possibly due to the troubling nature of Spacey's alleged actions, it's only logical that Frank Underwood will not have a role in the spinoff. That doesn't mean that his wife, Claire, would be out of the picture, though.
Spokespeople for both Netflix and Media Rights Capital declined to comment, but the internet is here for a spinoff with Robin Wright (aka Claire Underwood) at the helm.
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Clearly, House of Cards fans feel the phenomenally talented Wright deserves to take over as Madam President.
Alas, there is reportedly another potential focus brewing for the spinoff — one which would revolve around Doug Stamper, the political aide who did much of Frank's dirty work in the first five seasons. Eli Roth is reportedly in talks to write the series from this particular slant.
Since the spinoff is rumored to be in such an early stage of development, it's impossible to know at this point which path producers will choose. What is certain, though, is that Spacey (and hence Frank) will not figure into the new series.
For those of us who plan our holiday shopping around the launch of Starbucks’ holiday lineup, we'd better get cracking on that list: The seasonal cups and menu are here!
There’s a lot of news dropping at Starbucks today, including the launch this morning of the new cups in a fun new design and a return of seasonal-favorite menu items.
Our classic menu favorites are making a comeback, but there are also some fun new items. Holiday cups! This year’s holiday cup is a coloring book format with a white background and the iconic green siren logo in the center. Beyond that are black sketch illustrations of Christmas trees, ornaments and mugs that we then get to color in ourselves. So, make that cup red if you want. It’s really up to you.
sbux
sbux
This cup design may not come as a surprise to everyone though – a few weeks ago, the design was actually leaked on Reddit by someone who claimed to work for Starbucks. The post was later deleted, but turns out he was spot-on!
As for the menu, favorite holiday drinks like the chestnut praline latte, caramel brûlée latte, gingerbread latte, eggnog latte, and peppermint mocha are all returning, as is the holiday-themed turkey and stuffing panini.
It’s nowhere near Mother’s Day, but for Olympians like Gus Kenworthy and Kehri Jones, the No. 1 woman in their lives is never far from their minds.
Ahead of the 2018 Winter Olympic Games in Pyeongchang, South Korea, Olympians past and present — including figure skating legend Michelle Kwan and Elana Meyers, the first woman to pilot a mixed-gender bobsled — partnered with Procter & Gamble to produce a short yet super-powerful film highlighting the vital roles their moms played in helping them achieve their Olympic and personal triumphs.
The video, which is loosely inspired by the Olympians’ own struggles and is guaranteed to make you choke up, follows six young, aspiring Olympic athletes, who, with the love and support of their moms, overcome obstacles big and small to pursue their dreams. Titled “Love Over Bias,” it’s the latest installment of P&G’s Thank You, Mom campaign and aims to make viewers think about how the world might be different if we all saw one another through the unconditionally loving eyes of a mother.
“When you think about the way a mother views her child, if everyone could view everyone that way, the world would be a much better place,” says Kenworthy, 26, who’s an Olympic skier and the first openly gay action-sports athlete.
"If everyone could view each other the way a mother sees her child, the world would be a much better place."
Kenworthy admits he had a lot of fear about coming out publicly two years ago not long after he won a silver medal in the 2014 Winter Olympics. Considering the “inherent homophobia” he witnessed in the action-sports industry even before he came out, he worried about being ostracized, judged or even losing his career.
Kenworthy’s mom helped give him the courage to come out by sharing a key piece of advice before he went public with his sexuality. “I remember having a conversation with my mom beforehand and feeling nervous, like I was going to be judged or lose friends,” Kenworthy says. “My mom was very firm in her belief that anyone who had an opinion that wasn’t positive is someone I don’t need in my life. Everyone I do need in my life would be supportive.”
Gus Kenworthy thanking Mom IG 1
Gus Kenworthy thanking Mom IG 1
And though Kenworthy admits he still deals with discrimination for his sexuality, whether it’s to his face, “through the grapevine” or on Instagram, he sees a noticeable difference in his life and the state of the LGBTQ community since he came out. “Even if I was being called names all the time, I’d prefer to live my life authentically and to be free and myself rather than a version that I was making up,” Kenworthy says.
"I prefer to live my life authentically as myself, rather than a version I was making up."
Kehri Jones, 23, is an Olympic bobsledder and also credits her own mother for much of her Olympic success. She equates her mom to her counselor and describes her, especially when she was younger, as a protective “mama bear.” Still, she says she didn’t always see eye to eye with her parent. It wasn’t until college that Jones realized her strict upbringing was for her benefit.
“Does any kid understand why their mom is the way she is? We’re always like, ‘My mom is so mean!’” Jones says, “I know that she understands because she was once an 18-year-old girl. She’s going to give me the best advice that she could or the advice she wished she had.”
Like Kenworthy, despite her success, Jones isn’t immune to prejudice and discriminatory comments, and when she’s struggling to cope with hateful words, she seeks support from her mom. Jones admits that, like many Americans, she feels that the U.S. has recently lost ground in terms of social progress, but remains hopeful for positive change.
“For awhile, I thought the biases in our country were getting better. We were making steps for change, and at some point, I feel like we’ve stepped back a few feet,” Jones says. “In the last year, opinions from people who don’t like different genders, different sexual orientations or different ethnicities have been more prevalent. I really think we have a lot of work to do.”
"My mom was once an 18-year-old girl, so she’s going to give me... the advice she wished she had."
While Kenworthy and Jones can both recall countless memories of their moms helping them become who they are today, they each feel the biggest part of their futures that will be influenced by their moms is the kind of parents they’ll be one day. “If I ever do decide to have kids down the line, I can only hope to be the kind of parent my mom was to me,” says Kenworthy. And Jones echoes the sentiment, saying, “Watching my mom raise my little sisters and the women that they became lets me know that that’s everything I want to be as a mother.”
Whipping up a nice home-cooked meal seems simple enough, but the thought of hosting the whole family for Thanksgiving kinda makes us feel like we're going to hyperventilate.
But we hooked up with Gaby Dalkin of What's Gaby Cooking and she gave us her ideas for pulling together a T-Day spread that will have us come out looking like we have the whole crew over every year. Turns out, all it takes is an amazing appetizer and the right beverage to distract our guests while they wait for the main event.
And we're going to go ahead and say a Kikkoman® Soy Sauce brine will pretty much solidify your spot in your family's Thanksgiving history. Not even kidding you guys, adding soy sauce to your brine is going to build the flavor and ensure that you have the tenderest, juiciest, most delicious Thanksgiving turkey ever.
Watch the video above for all of Dalkin's amazing tips for hosting an unforgettable Thanksgiving, then give the recipe below a try.
16 cups water, divided 10 ounces Kikkoman® Soy Sauce* 1/2 cup kosher salt 1/2 cup honey 1 tablespoon dried red pepper flakes 1 tablespoon dried sage 1 bunch fresh thyme 2 heads garlic, sliced in half 14 – 18-pound turkey, cleaned, innards removed
Combine 8 cups of the water, Kikkoman® Soy Sauce, salt, honey, red pepper flakes, sage, thyme and garlic in a large pot and place over medium-high heat.
Bring to a boil, lower the heat and simmer for 5 minutes until everything is evenly combined and the honey is dissolved.
Remove it from the heat and allow it to cool. Stir in the remaining water and cool completely.
Place the turkey into a large container big enough to move the turkey around in and big enough for the turkey and the brine (a 5-gallon container works well for most birds). Pour the brine over the turkey, adding more water if needed to cover the bird entirely.
Rotate the bird a few times and then leave it breast-side down in the brine.
Chill for at least 8 hours and up to 24 hours.
Remove bird from the brine, discard the brine and roast as desired.
No matter which team you are rooting for in the World Series (or even if you're like me and aren't even quite sure who the teams playing are), we all just scored a home run.
Taco Bell is giving away one free Doritos Locos Taco per customer because Houston Astros outfielder Cameron Maybin stole a base in the 11th inning of Game 2 shortly after midnight on Thursday. We don’t know what that means, exactly, but we are completely ready to celebrate... via Doritos Locos Tacos, which will be awarded today, Wednesday, Nov. 1, from 2 p.m. to 6 p.m., at Taco Bells across the country. To everyone. Everywhere.
So maybe we should read up a bit more on baseball and find out how to get more free tacos. But for now, score these before they run out. Home run, indeed.
Death is a big part of life, just like it is part of the NBC drama. I appreciate how the series doesn't avoid the darkness that life sometimes can be.
One of the many things This Is Us has shown me is that there's nothing wrong with how I've dealt with death.
Eighteen years ago, my brother, Ryan, died at the age of 16 in a car accident. It was the hardest moment of my life yet and will hopefully be the only tragedy I have to face in my lifetime. Believe it or not, even after almost two decades since his death, I'm still grieving.
I'm not one who believes in the so-called "stages of grief" because in my experience, everybody grieves differently. Some people might think that after you get through these "stages of grief," you're cured and you can go on living life like you were before your loved one's death. To be blunt, that's a bunch of bullshit.
Grief never goes away. I deal with it daily, and it is one of the hardest things to try to cope with. Those who've never had someone die or have never had to bury a sibling or a child (like my parents) have no idea what grief is like. Basically, it sucks. It's a different kind of pain compared to a physical injury, but that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt.
I look forward to watching This Is Us because it makes me feel better about what I go through on a daily basis without my brother by my side. Actually, it makes me feel sane and not alone in what I'm experiencing. With that, here's what the show has taught me and also what it gets right about grief.
1. Time doesn't heal all wounds
This Is Us
This Is Us
Believe it or not, but the saying, "Time heals all wounds," isn't true. Like Dr. K. told Jack after informing him that one of his triplets died, "There is not a single day that goes by that I don't think of the child I lost — and I'm an old man now." Some people might not agree, but when someone near and dear to you dies, especially unexpectedly, that's with you forever. I still ache every single day for my brother.
In what is one of the most memorable This Is Us speeches, Dr. K once told Jack, who later passed the wisdom his children, "I like to think that because of the child that I lost, because of the path that he sent me on, that I have saved countless other babies. I like to think that maybe one day you'll be an old man like me talking to a younger man's ear off explaining to him how you took the sourest lemon that life has to offer and turned it into something resembling lemonade."
As much as I wish I could go back to the day my brother died and stop it, some good has come from it. I've become a stronger person and see the world in a whole new light. I like the person I am today, and I'm not sure I would be that same person if my brother hadn't died. That said, I would absolutely take that risk if I could have my brother back in my life.
3. Those who leave us are always a part of us
This Is Us #2
This Is Us #2
As Kevin explained his "Painting of Life" to Annie and Tess, "People will die in our lives, people that we love in the future, maybe tomorrow, maybe years from now. I mean, it's kind of beautiful, right? If you think about it, the fact that just because someone dies, just because you can't see them or talk to them anymore, it doesn't mean they're not still in the painting."
Ever since my brother's death, I've encountered several individuals who actually think I should just move on with my life and forget about my brother. They don't understand why I think about him every day or how he is still a major part of my life. I know, it's mind-boggling, isn't it? Just because someone dies doesn't mean they stop being a part of your life.
Death has changed my perspective on life — and in major ways. It also has affected how I view things, including instances of my life. When Beth gave her eulogy for William, she hit the nail on the head when she said, "We'll remember things as before William and after William." That's exactly how it is for me. Whenever I think about my life, it's before Ryan and after Ryan.
5. Anger is part of the process
This Is Us #4
This Is Us #4
In this scene featuring Kate, she let out all the anger, guilt and frustration she was still understandably carrying over the death of Jack. What many people don't understand is that anger is totally normal. When you're forced to say goodbye to a loved one, you are beyond angry. I'm still angry today because my brother shouldn't have died as a teenager. His entire life was ahead of him. So, yeah, I get angry... a lot — and I never feel guilty about it.
6. Death shouldn't stop you
This Is Us #5
This Is Us #5
There have been plenty of times when my brother's death has stopped me from experiencing life. The grief that has come from losing him can be crippling. But I always have to tell myself that Ryan wouldn't want me to put a hold on my happiness just because he is gone. When William told Randall on his deathbed, "Roll your windows down, Randall. Crank up the music. Grow out that fro. Let someone else make your bed," it reminded me once again to keep on living.
Guilt is a major part of dealing with death. And it's totally normal to feel guilty about feeling guilty. "It's all I think about," Jack once told Rebecca about their baby who died. "I feel guilty when I think about him and then, you know, I feel guilty when I stop thinking about him." There isn't a day I don't think about Ryan, but there are parts of the day when he isn't on my mind. That's OK, because I know he wouldn't expect me to surround every aspect of my life with him and his death.
8. Take time to enjoy life
This Is Us #7
This Is Us #7
After William died and Randall quit his job, he decided to "slow it down a little" by taking a step back from his career and focusing on the small things that are really the most important in life. After Ryan died, it changed my view on life — and just how short it really is. If I don't take the time to enjoy it now, when will I?
Once you go through a tragedy like I did with my brother, time isn't the same. Sylvester Stallone (who plays himself in the show) explained it best when he told Kevin, "In my experience, Kevin, there's no such thing as a long time ago. There's only memories that mean something and the memories that don't." I couldn't have said it better myself.
10. You will hit a breaking point
This Is Us #8
This Is Us #8
At some point (and probably even more than once), I've broken down because my brother's death is sometimes too much to handle — and yes, even 18 years later. "I don't know if I can keep doing this without you anymore and I'm really not sure that I want to," Dr. K. told his late wife at the cemetery. As he showed, death can be one of the most overwhelming parts of life.
11. Maintaining a sibling relationship is key
Image: NBC
"He's your brother, Kevin," Jack once told Young Kevin about Randall, while also thinking about his brother, Nicky. "You should be able to depend on each other more than anyone else, more than anyone else in the world." This quote really struck a chord with me, because I probably wouldn't be where I am today without my sister by my side. We've grieved together. We lean on each other. We cry together. We laugh together. It's one of if not the most special relationships I've ever had in life. When you lose a sibling, and if you have another sibling, you should be able to rely on them.
After my brother died, my parents always told us that maintaining a relationship with each other was the most important thing we could do, because once they are gone, we only have each other. I'm so glad they did, because I can't imagine a life without my sister, my best friend.
12. Happy times are also filled with sadness
This Is Us #9
This Is Us #9
After the birth of Tess, Rebecca was extremely happy, but also really sad. She realized that without Jack by her side, even the happiest of moments wouldn't be completely blissful. As she said, “That’s just something I’m going to have to deal with for the rest of my life. The happiest moments will also be a little sad.” That’s something I’ve come to terms with over the years. If I ever get married, my brother won’t be there. If I ever have a child, my brother won’t be there. When I graduated from high school, college and grad school, my brother wasn’t there. Happy times are somewhat sad because Ryan is no longer here.
