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How to Talk to Your Kids About Scary Things

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Whether if you’re a parent, a caretaker, a loving aunt or uncle or a dedicated best friend to both your pal and their offspring, the desire to protect our young folks is often instinctual. Unfortunately, while the world is a wonderful, immersive and curious place, it far too often presents its darker side — unexplained violence and tragedies that can leave children with questions you might find difficult to answer.

How can we help kids maintain their wide-eyed innocence while also helping them grow and learn tactics to overcome fear and deal with harsh realities?

“Kids are big thinkers, and their imaginations are not limited to fun, carefree topics," explains clinical psychologist and author Stephanie O’Leary. "When you have honest, age-appropriate conversations about scary things, you provide an outlet for your child's feelings, model healthy coping and establish that you are a source of support, even when topics are uncomfortable or frightening,” 

Below are some tools and strategies for leaning into age-appropriate discussions of violence, racism and other tough topics — and tailoring the conversation to educate and comfort kids.

Racism, bullying & discrimination

Depending on your community, your child might be surrounded by people of a thousand different cultures the moment she's born. But she might not be. For children in homogenous communities, it can be a startling discovery to meet people from other backgrounds. Young kids may not know how to act around people who are different from them — or how to respond if they see or hear about someone being abused or otherwise mistreated because of their race, religion, culture, sexual or gender identity, disability, etc.

For kids under 5:

The key here, O’Leary says, is to never avoid questions about race, religion or other identifiers, as you could inadvertently breed a judgmental attitude in kids by making something seem like a taboo topic. It's an unfortunate reality of our time that your child will likely witness an act of discrimination at some point — and be rightfully baffled by the hatred behind that act. This is when O’Leary says to allow kids' questions to come up as they may. Make sure the child knows the scary thing that happened is absolutely wrong — but that doesn't mean it's wrong to talk about it. This way, you can turn the unfortunate experience into a learning opportunity. If your child asks questions about someone who was mistreated, "it's best to answer honestly and keep lines of communication open,” O'Leary says.

For kids ages 5 to 10:

As a child develops friendships, meets new people and expands their community, they might become more candid about their questions and perhaps more direct. At this age, you can step in and help them develop a healthy — positive but assertive — attitude. “Talking about current events and daily experiences within your community are great places to start because discrimination is not a thing of the past,” O’Leary says.

She also adds that it’s important to prepare your child for what, unfortunately, is the inevitable. He or she will likely observe or experience acts of hate or discrimination at some point and will likely be confused about how to react. Here, O’Leary says to get personal with your preteen. “Share personal experiences to model how you felt, how you reacted and what you wish you had done differently. Choosing examples from your own childhood will make the biggest impact on your son or daughter. Focusing on practical steps your child can take is important, such as being vocal or seeking help when observing bullying,” she suggests.

More: I'm Raising My White Children to Stand Up Against Racism, Every Day

Guns

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, there are more than 31,000 deaths every year involving guns in the United States. This makes the topic that much more fraught — and more likely to come up with a child. From the minor ("guns" in video games) to the major (mass shootings in the news), kids are bound to encounter gun violence at some point. “Even if you try hard to monitor what your child is exposed to, guns are present on television, integrated into various toys and action figures and carried by various authority figures, including police officers,” O’Leary explains. It's never too early to start talking about them.

For kids under 5:
O’Leary says the most important lesson to teach a preschooler is that under no circumstances are guns toys; it’s important to underline how much harm they can cause. “Answer any questions that may arise simply and honestly to provide factual information without creating undue anxiety,” she says.

For kids ages 5 to 10:
With a more mature child, O’Leary says you can get more specific regarding gun safety and offer solutions for how to protect themselves and handle various situations. “Make sure your child is fully aware of the fact that guns can be deadly, and review what you expect them to do if they are ever in a situation where a gun is present," O'Leary urges. "While every parent fears this, the fact is that guns are often present in homes. Gun violence can occur even during innocent playdates,” she adds. “Empower your child with a focus on gun safety, and answer any questions that arise.” 

More: America's Gun Problem in 7 Startling Images

Other acts of violence

Tensions are soaring high these days, and it can feel like an attack or tragedy of some sort is happening every other week. When a child catches the evening news or the anniversary of a tragic event is discussed at school, you might be asked questions like "Why would someone do this?" or "Are they coming for us next?" Sadly, these inquiries don’t always have concrete answers; but you can provide valuable context.

For kids under 5:
While O’Leary doesn’t suggest approaching a topic like terrorism with a child under 5 unless they specifically ask, she says that being direct and simple — without providing graphic details — is ideal. However, with one important caveat: Avoid labels and dichotomies such as "good guys" versus "bad guys." “This perpetuates the idea of continued conflict," O'Leary explains, "and it's likely less stressful for your child to hear you say, ‘There are some people who want to hurt others who are different, and we do everything we can to try and stop that."

For kids ages 5 to 10:
As a kid ages through elementary school, he or she may become more comfortable talking about what they hear at school and throughout the community. This makes them consider violence through a more analytic lens since they might have had experiences like going through a metal detector or security at an airport. “At this age, you can provide some more factual background regarding the cultural and political circumstances that have contributed to terrorist acts as well as the specific safeguards that your family relies on for safety,” O’Leary suggests.

More: Want to Donate Diapers to Hurricane Harvey Victims? Here's How

The world we live in can be a frightening place, and the people in it don’t always help. But when you're raising kids, it’s always more helpful to have sad, difficult conversations than no conversations at all. That way, you can prepare them as best you can to face our frightening world — and change it for the better.

This article was originally published in September 2017 and was republished in October 2017.


Zen Baby Names for Your Little Yogi

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So you've got a baby on the way. While you may be hoping for a chilled-out kid and tranquil nights ahead, you know that's probably not what you're in for, right? If you'd like to up your chances for a calm baby, you might as well hedge your bets and give kiddo a name that's as peaceful as you hope they'll be.

Will that actually change their personality? Probably not, but the baby names ahead are filled with enlightened Zen vibes — so you never know. Let your intuition be your guide, and this kid will be meditating in no time.

More: It's Time to Stop the Baby-Name Shaming

Boy names

Hoping for a chill little guy? These boy names all have meanings that are peaceful and calm.

Girl names

These classic and modern names all mean "peace," "calm" and "harmony."

While you probably noticed several familiar names on this list, there are plenty of unique options too. Peaceful parents of all walks of life — and naming styles — can find the perfect moniker to add to their list of potentials. And if there's a name here that piques your interest, but you're not sure if it will work on top of a résumé when they're an adult, consider moving it to the middle name spot. ("Paz" is one monosyllabic option that would work with nearly any first name.) 

With names like these, you're bound to get the calm, peaceful baby you're hoping for. Or at least one who can Downward-Dog with the best of them.

3 Ways to Help Victims of the Las Vegas Shooting

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It’s a terrifying moment in history when you can go to a country music festival in Las Vegas — or Bastille Day celebrations on a promenade in Nice or an Ariana Grande concert in Manchester, England... tragically, the list goes on — and have to worry about you or your loved ones coming out alive. In the wake of last night’s mass shooting at the Route 91 Harvest Festival, 50 people have died and at least 400 more have been injured. (Someone I know was among those who were shot and will survive, thank God — but so many others didn’t.)

Even if you’re fortunate enough not to have been directly impacted by this tragedy, it’s terrifying and heartbreaking to watch the news unfold. And while there’s not a lot we can do right now, there are a few things that can make a big difference — see below for how you can help.

Donate blood

Blood donations are badly needed, especially if you happen to be in the Vegas area. Try the Las Vegas United Blood Service or check the tweets below for other places you can give blood.

Las Vegas Shooting Tragedy: Blood donating

Las Vegas Shooting Tragedy: Blood donating

Las Vegas Shooting Tragedy: Blood donating LVMPD tweet

Las Vegas Shooting Tragedy: Blood donating LVMPD tweet

Offer medical assistance

There’s going to be a big need for physical and mental health assistance. You can donate to organizations like the Volunteers in Medicine of Southern Nevada, who give care to people who don’t otherwise have access to it.

Be diligent

Another helpful thing you can do is to be diligent. During disasters, there are a lot of people in such a rush to share news that they’re often sharing it from unverified sources. Try to stick to trusted news outlets. Spreading news that’s not verified can lead to hysteria, especially if related to fears of other attacks. In particular, watch out for crowdsourcing pages. Some will be from legitimate people who need help with medical care or funeral costs, but many others are just trying to profit off a terrible situation.

More: 8 Ways to Help Hurricane Victims Right Now

If you’re looking to locate a missing loved one, here’s a number to call:

LVMPD Missing person hotline tweet

LVMPD Missing person hotline tweet

Watch this space in the hours and days ahead for more ways you can help those impacted by the tragic Las Vegas shooting.

Originally posted on StyleCaster.

David Beckham Was All of Us Meeting This Game of Thrones Star

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When you're a celebrity, you get to hang out with other celebrities pretty much all the time. Seeing the same faces on the cover of magazines and in person at events and things probably become commonplace, right? But even that doesn't mean it's not exciting to meet a Game of Thrones actor, as was the case with David Beckham recently.

More: 31 Celebrities Who Are Having the Best Time at Wimbledon

Beckham, who is pretty much a GoT superfan, casually ran into John Bradley, the actor who plays Samwell Tarly on the epic HBO show. Even though Beckham is a seasoned pro at meeting and hanging with the stars, it would seem he lost his cool a little bit meeting Bradley. He Instagrammed a photo of their surprise meeting, writing in the caption, "This man is a maester, he knows things...Was tempted to ask for a little clue into what’s next but was too starstruck."

David Beckham meets Sam from Game of Thrones and freaks

David Beckham meets Sam from Game of Thrones and freaks

More: The Beckhams Posted Adorable Throwback Wedding Anniversary Photos

This would be a cute enough story if it ended right there. I mean, Beckham fangirling over an actor from one of his favorite shows? Just like we would fangirl if we got to meet Bradley? It's so sweet. But it gets even better.

Apparently, Bradley is also a David Beckham fan, and he also posted a photo of their meeting on Instagram, also with a cute caption about meeting a celeb he's excited about. "This just happened!! The one and only @davidbeckham. What more needs to be said? I love this man," Bradley wrote.

Sam from Game of Thrones meets David Beckham and freaks

Sam from Game of Thrones meets David Beckham and freaks

More: David Beckham Defends Daughter Harper's Palace Birthday Party

Now we just want them to become IRL best friends and hang out all the time. Can that happen please? Thanks.

Mom May Face Jail Time for Refusing to Vaccinate Her Son

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Michigan mother Rebecca Bredow would rather go to prison than get her son vaccinated — a stance that many consider extreme, not to mention reckless.

Bredow spoke with ABC News about what she believes should be her "personal choice." She said, “I would rather go to jail for standing up for what I believe in than vaccinate my child." Bredow and her ex-husband, James Horne, are battling over their son's vaccinations. According to Bredow, her ex was originally fine with the idea of spacing out their child's vaccines, but then he changed his mind and now wants their son to be fully vaccinated.

An Oakland County court sided with Horne. Bredow has been ordered to bring her son up to the "fullest extent medically allowed" by Wednesday this week — but this mandate means that she must agree to having her son receive eight vaccines all at once in a few days.

More: Mom Pens Powerful Message to Anti-Vaxxers About Her Sick Daughter

According ABC News, this has been a longstanding dispute. Bredow was legally ordered to have her son vaccinated back in November 2016 — almost a full year ago. A judge will now have to decide if Bredow will face jail time for this refusal.

“I can’t give in against my own religious belief. This is about choice. This is about having my choices as a mother to be able to make medical choices for my child," Bredow told The Washington Post. “I haven’t had the opportunity to have my side heard. Most likely, I’ll be going to jail on Wednesday.”

Bredow did not specify what those religious beliefs entail.

The American Academy of Pediatrics continues to stress the vital importance of vaccines in protecting children. Its website states, "Vaccines have been part of the fabric of our society for decades and are the most significant medical innovation of our time. Vaccines are safe. Vaccines are effective. Vaccines save lives.”

Still, despite overwhelming and highly respected research proving the efficacy and massive benefits of vaccines for children, some parents still do not trust the data — and some states allow parents to opt out of vaccinating their kids.

Michigan is one of those states. In fact, Michigan even lets parents choose not to vaccinate for nonmedical reasons. So it's unclear how the Michigan courts will handle Bredow's refusal to vaccinate her son.

More: Can I Ask My Anti-Vaccination Sister to Keep Her Kids at Home?

Bredow explained that it's the combining of vaccines that bothers her. “It wasn’t until they started grouping them together that I backed off of doing vaccines,” she told WXYZ Detroit.

According to the CDC, there's zero evidence to suggest that combining vaccinations causes harm to children.

Wanna Lose Weight? These Simple Lifestyle Alterations Are a Great Start

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When it comes to maintaining a healthy weight, we'll take all the help we can get — but the truth of the matter is, the bazillion radical eating plans and crash diets that are constantly circulating the internet aren't really helping things. Sure, the Master Cleanse might work for Beyoncé, however the majority of us need more than lemon water and maple syrup to get through our day-to-day lives, thank you very much.

The good news? You don't have to go to great lengths to make real progress. Realistic lifestyle tweaks are the way to go when it comes to losing weight.

We put together a few mind tricks that you can use to lose and/or maintain your weight. Turns out, there are many ways to fool yourself into a fitter body.

1. Grab a pen

Sharon Palmer, a registered dietitian nutritionist and author of Plant-Powered for Life, said that food journals have been proven to aid in weight loss. “You’d be surprised how much you eat during the day if you have to write it down,” she said. Going digital? Check out online journaling apps.

More: What Is a Macro Diet?

2. Bag everything

For a day, put everything you would eat in a bag. You can also guesstimate the calories to see how much you will save if you stop noshing on extras and leftovers.

3. Ditch serving utensils

To dish food up in smaller portions, it is a good idea to use regular utensils instead of using ones that let you pile on more food easily. Less scoops, fewer calories!

4. Go 80 percent

Palmer said the Japanese technique of eating until you’re 80 percent full — dubbed hara hachi bu — is customary in the country, where people weigh less than Americans. “It’s considered distasteful to stuff yourself in Japanese culture, so people do not eat until they feel entirely full,” Palmer said. “It does take a while for your brain to get the signals that you’re full, so try this. Leave the table a little bit hungry.”

5. Rethink your dishes

Fill up your plates at the counter, rather than eating family style at the dinner table. Studies show people eat less that way. Also, white plates with colorful food lead to less consumption, studies have shown. Sharing plates is another way to cut down on the amount of food you consume, as is using smaller plates. Or, try a portion plate.

6. Drink smart

“Don’t waste calories on beverages,” Palmer said, adding that studies have shown they don’t produce the same sense of fullness as eating the same calories in food. “The more fiber in the food, the more filling.”

More: The Anti-Inflammatory Diet: Why You Should Try It and How to Start It

7. Talk yourself into it

Don’t feel like eating veggies or doing another healthy thing? Recognize it and tell yourself that you are choosing to do it. That subtle mental shift could have some positive impacts.

Originally posted February 2015. Updated October 2017.

Oprah Winfrey Has a New Favorite Food, & It Comes Straight From the Food Court

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There are a lot of reasons why I love Ava DuVernay, mostly because of her impeccable directing and storytelling. But my newest reason has nothing to do with film or television — it's the fact that on the set of A Wrinkle In Time, she introduced Oprah Winfrey to her new favorite food: the pretzel dog.

More: How to make foolproof soft pretzels from scratch

And not just any pretzel dog. Apparently, DuVernay shared an Auntie Anne's pretzel-wrapped hot dog with the media marvel, and Winfrey was smitten, which makes total sense for a lot of reasons, the first being that Winfrey's been shilling hard for Weight Watchers and probably hasn't had a taste of delicious, salty processed food in a while. The second? Well, basically anything you wrap in a pretzel suddenly tastes a million times better, and if you've ever walked past an Auntie Anne's at the mall or a train station, you know from the smell alone that their buttery soft pretzels are in a league of their own.

More: Why Oprah's Involvement With the Henrietta Lacks Movie Was Destiny

Add to that a hot dog and you have an umami overload that even Winfrey, who's probably had some of the best food on Earth, fell for in an instant.

More: Oprah Winfrey Reveals Why She Never Wanted Kids, Is a Total Queen

Just when I thought Oprah Winfrey couldn't possibly speak to my soul any more, there's this. Now if only she would run for president...

Congress Drops the Ball on 9 Million Kids & Their Health Insurance

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There is so much going on in the news right now about Congress' recent jockeying to smash and replace Obamacare (the failed Graham-Cassidy plan) that many are unaware another health insurance program of major importance is at grave risk of being completely demolished.

The Children's Health Insurance Program's budget has expired as of Sept. 30. If you're not familiar with CHIP, the program provides low-cost health insurance to 9 million children in the United States — children whose families earn too much to be eligible for Medicaid — as well as pregnant women in some states, according to the Healthcare.gov website. CHIP's safety net is huge, covering kids for immunizations, checkups, emergency care and other preventative health care. If CHIP is allowed to die, children formerly under this program will have zero affordable options to see a doctor.

Joan Alker, the executive director of Georgetown University's Center for Children and Families told the press, “We have never had a situation like this before."

The media is paying attention, even if the Congress is not.

LA TIMES

LA TIMES

The Los Angeles Times reported that there is no vote scheduled for at least a week to reinstate the $15 billion funding. This could be catastrophic for many families, as CHIP has managed to almost eliminate the possibility of children going without health insurance — an amazing feat in the U.S.

More: Don't Ignore These 8 Signs That Your Baby May Be Sick

So what happens now? If Congress acts and restores CHIP's funding, it would be extended for five years. If not, some states will manage to keep CHIP in place just barely for a few months, but beyond that, most CHIP kids will ultimately become uninsured. As of now, a few states are particularly at risk: Arizona, North Carolina, the District of Columbia and Minnesota could run out of CHIP funding by December.

Sahil Kapur, a political reporter for Bloomberg News, tweeted this map showing how soon funding for CHIP could run out for each state.

CHIP

CHIP

If CHIP gets its funding back, it would be extended for five years — but the program could run out as soon as December in states like including Arizona, Minnesota, and North Carolina and the District of Columbia. State officials have begun sending out notifications letting CHIP enrollees know that their coverage has lapsed.

Kamala Harris CHIP

Kamala Harris CHIP

Michael Hiltzik, reporter for the LA Times, wrote, “Is there any more poignant example of how Congress’ wasteful partisanship affects ordinary Americans? It’s hard to imagine one. If the lawmakers can’t act in support of a program that was enacted in a spirit of bipartisanship and serves the most truly defenseless members of society, there’s no hope for them.”

MoreHey America! This Is What Health Care Should Look Like

So, if you care about 9 million kids losing their health care, it's time to get on the phone (again) with your elected officials and lawmakers.


Kelly Ripa & Ryan Seacrest Get Emotional About Las Vegas Shooting on Live

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Needless to say, Monday, Oct. 2 is an emotional day for all Americans. As of this writing, the number of people confirmed dead in Sunday night's mass shooting in Las Vegas has risen to 58, with at least an additional 515 injured.

More: Jason Aldean & the Country Music Community Send Prayers to Las Vegas

There are no words that can ease the pain and the terror in the wake of such an immense and horrifying tragedy. As news was still breaking this morning, Kelly Ripa and Ryan Seacrest became visibly emotional as they discussed the shooting on Live.

Kelly Ripa and Ryan Seacrest discuss Las Vegas shooting

Kelly Ripa and Ryan Seacrest discuss Las Vegas shooting

"It’s one of those days where there’s so much bad news in the news, so it’s very hard for us to come out and be uplifting and our typical bouncy Monday selves," Ripa said.

Seacrest added, "I too woke up this morning to that news. It’s awful to say, but when I flip on the TV, sometimes first thing in the morning, I pause and I think, ‘I hope there’s no tragic news overnight.’ This morning was some of the worst we’ve ever seen."

More: 3 Ways to Help Victims of the Las Vegas Shooting

Before he even got to work on Live, Seacrest was already live on the radio, taking calls from people who were present at the country music festival where hundreds were shot at from the 32nd floor of the Mandalay Bay Hotel nearby. He described the stories he heard of people taking cover behind cars, barriers and anything else they could find.

"There are no words to describe the pain that these families are going through that have lost loved ones, so we think of all of you during this moment," he continued, his voice beginning to hitch with emotion. "You go to these places and these shows to escape reality, to celebrate. And to think that you have to be afraid to go to a concert in this day and age in our country — it’s awful."

For Ripa, the real horror is the idea that nowhere is safe from this kind of violence in America today. This is the most deadly shooting in the country's history, but the last most deadly shooting took place only a year ago, when 49 people were killed at the Pulse nightclub in Orlando.

"My daughter loves music festivals. So many of our kids do," Ripa said, going on to talk about how she and her kids always have a contingency plan in place should some kind of tragic event occur where they are.

"My mom was telling me that when I was a teenager, it never occurred to her to warn me about what to do in case of something like this," she continued. "Now it occurs to me every time my kids leave the house."

More: How to Talk to Your Kids About Scary Things

That kind of thinking is so necessary and so real, and we truly have no words.

Ripa wrapped up by saying, to applause from the show's audience, "So many families devastated, and we are praying for you — all of you."

Buckingham Palace Has 775 Rooms, & 8 Other Fascinating Facts About the Castle

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When we think London landmarks, none is more iconic than Buckingham Palace. Most of us across the pond know it as the scene of an occasional royal family reunion photo opp — we love seeing the royal waves from the balcony! — but the building actually has a fascinating history. It currently acts as a royal residence to the queen, is the administrative headquarters of the monarchy and has event spaces and state rooms for formal royal entertaining plus an art gallery. Dating back to 1703, the palace has been greatly enlarged from the original structure of a townhouse to its current form as we recognize it today over the course of the last 300-plus years. In that time, some intriguing facts have come to light.

1. It is absolutely massive

Buckingham Palace view

Buckingham Palace view

The sheer size and scope isn’t a huge surprise. You can certainly tell from photos that it isn’t exactly a quaint little cottage, but wrapping your head around the number of rooms inside is a whole other matter. Sometimes reported as 755 rooms, Buckingham Palace actually has even more than that: a whopping 775 rooms, including "19 State rooms, 52 Royal and guest bedrooms, 188 staff bedrooms, 92 offices and 78 bathrooms," according to the most recent count.

2. The queen isn’t the only royal who lives there

While Queen Elizabeth and Prince Philip are certainly the most obvious residents, other royals have their digs at Buckingham Palace too. Prince Andrew, Duke of York, resides on the second floor of the East Wing while in London, as do Prince Edward and his wife Sophie, the Earl and Countess of Wessex, and their children. Prince William and the Duchess of Cambridge live just down the road at Kensington Palace.

3. Its future as a royal residence is uncertain

Buckingham Palace has been the residence of the monarch since Queen Victoria moved in back in 1837, but that tradition could end with Queen Elizabeth. Rumor has it Charles has no intention of leaving his current home at Clarence House when he takes the throne, preferring to use BP for offices, official entertaining and ceremonial purposes only.

4. It takes five days to set the table

Buckingham Palace state dinner

Buckingham Palace state dinner

Planning a state banquet at Buckingham Palace can take well over a year, which is no surprise when you consider that just setting the table for the dinner can take up to five days! The table itself must be brought in and reassembled, table decor brought in, cleaned and placed, complicated place settings painstakingly laid out and double-checked with a ruler, flowers arranged, candles lit… you can read a little about the whole operation at the Buckingham Palace website. It must all pass the muster of the queen, who checks every minute detail herself.

5. It was bombed seven times during World War II

Seven. Times. Then-Princess Elizabeth and her sister, Princess Margaret, had been sent to Windsor Castle 20 miles away for safety, but one of these bombings came close to killing King George VI and Queen Elizabeth the Queen Mother when one detonated right outside their window.

6. It’s really its own little town

If you never wanted to leave Buckingham Palace, you really wouldn’t have to. In addition to its multiple residences for both royals and service staff, the palace has a swimming pool, a movie theater, a chapel, a post office, a doctor’s office fully equipped for surgery and a cafeteria. There’s even an ATM in the basement, but only the royals are allowed to use it.

7. Dealing with the chandeliers is a whole thing

Buckigham Palace chandeliers

Buckigham Palace chandeliers

George VI use to keep 30 workers on staff just to keep all the candles lit in all the chandeliers in the palace, pre-electricity. The invention of light bulbs made that job considerably easier. Cleaning them is a different story. Some genius arranged it so that the fixtures can now be lowered from the ceiling via remote control, but they do still need to be hand-cleaned, crystal by crystal.

8. A river runs through it — literally

The River Tyburn once supplied drinking water to parts of London centuries ago before being converted to a sewer. Now mostly contained in a brick tunnel, it still runs underneath the courtyard on the southern end of the grounds, and some say underneath a portion of the building.

9. It’s totally haunted

Buckingham Palace is reportedly home to two ghostly figures, a monk and a major. Centuries ago, a monastery stood on what is now palace grounds, and it is said that a monk in a brown cowl paces the rear terrace at night. King Edward VII’s private secretary is still hanging around too. Unable to bear being shunned by upper-class society after his divorce, Major John Gwynne shot himself in his office on the first floor — and his spirit is still seen today.

Kevin Hart & Eniko Parrish Share Baby's Name at... a Jungle Shower

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Comedian and actor Kevin Hart and his wife Eniko Parrish celebrated the baby they have on the way with a big ol' jungle-themed shower this weekend. And Parrish even revealed the name they've picked: Kenzo.

This is the couple's first child together — and according to People, Kenzo is a boy.

Hart jungle pic

Hart jungle pic

The aforementioned snazzy jungle shower was held at the Calamigos Beach Club in Malibu. Hart posted a pic of the event on his Instagram, and he couldn't resist some Snapchat comedy either, presenting a dog wearing a fuzzy lion mane around its neck: “When you couldn’t afford the lion so you got a dog and just put the thing around the dog. It’s still ballin.’ It’s just on a budget.”

More: The FBI's Getting Involved in Kevin Hart's Blackmail Case

Other than the happy baby business, it's been a pretty brutal time for this couple; earlier this month, Hart surprised many fans by posting to Instagram about an alleged blackmail attempt involving a "sexually provocative" video of Hart and a woman who's very much not Parrish. Hart made an apology to Parrish and his kids, Heaven, 12, and Hendrix, 9 (whom he shares with ex-wife Torrei Hart) on Sept. 16 regarding the scandal.

Hart apology

Hart apology

This is pretty much the last thing a pregnant woman wants to be dealing with in the weeks before her baby's birth. People reported that a source told the outlet Parrish "is fully cooperating with the law enforcement investigation” involving her husband. Still, the claims of Hart's cheating have been incredibly stressful to Parrish, another source told the magazine. "She has been hounded by the press, and is very upset. She is trying to stay healthy and enjoy her pregnancy, but the latest drama is too much," the insider said.

More: Kevin Hart Responds to Cheating Rumors

We're hoping things chill out soon — for the sake of baby Kenzo as well as Heaven and Hendrix. Hart also posted this family shot on Instagram after news of the scandal broke, tagged #TheseAreTheOnlyOpinionsThatMatter, clearly making a statement that he's over all the haters and ready to move on. But the question remains: Is Parrish?

Hart fam

Hart fam

Tarek El Moussa Posted From Route 91 Harvest Festival Before the Mass Shooting

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Followers of Flip or Flop star Tarek El Moussa's Instagram may know that he was at the Route 91 Harvest Country Music Festival in Las Vegas where Sunday night's deadly shooting took place. In hindsight, the caption he wrote alongside the photo he posted of himself and a pair of friends at the festival feels ominous. "#Lasvegas #route91harvest LOVE.... Country Music!!! Vegas is always a blast!! Hope I make it home," the HGTV star wrote at approximately 6:02 p.m. PT, mere hours before the first shots were fired at approximately 10:08 p.m. PT according to CNN. To be clear: El Moussa was most likely writing his caption, with special attention to his comment about making it home in reference to having too much fun at the concert as opposed to intentionally sounding ominous.

Tarek El Moussa Las Vegas Concert 2017
Image: Tarek El Moussa/Instagram

More: 3 Ways to Help Victims of the Las Vegas Shooting

El Moussa has since confirmed that he is safe following the shooting through his Instagram story. We're unsure if El Moussa was actually at the festival when the shooting began or if he left earlier in the night.

Tarek El Moussa updates fans hes safe after LV shooting

Tarek El Moussa updates fans hes safe after LV shooting

Either way, El Moussa's comments on news of the shooting are sobering. "So, I just left the Route 91 country concert in Las Vegas," he told his followers on his Instagram story video. "I’m safe but there was an active shooting. Many people shot and killed and just really, really sad. So kind of bummed right now. Sucks that things like this happen. Have a good night."

Additionally, in the wake of the shooting, El Moussa posted another photo to his Instagram asking for prayers for Las Vegas while detailing his memories of last night.

Tarek El Moussa Prayers for Las Vegas Insta

Tarek El Moussa Prayers for Las Vegas Insta

More: How to Talk to Your Kids About Scary Things

While we're glad El Moussa is safe, the death and injury tolls from Sunday night have continued to climb as more news has broken throughout this morning. Other celebrities who were there, namely the country music stars performing at the festival where the shooting took place have offered their prayers for those affected and for the entire community of Las Vegas as it grapples with this tragedy.

Stephen Colbert's Puerto Rico Fundraiser Is So Much Fun For Everyone Else

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Puerto Rico is in the midst of a devastating crisis after Hurricane Maria wiped out power as well as transportation and food and water supply to just about the entire country. Bless Stephen Colbert for coming up with a way to help, but also make us smile during these seriously difficult times.

More: Jennifer Lopez Confirms Her Family in Puerto Rico Is Safe

Colbert partnered with Nick Kroll to start the #PuberMe challenge on Twitter. For every celebrity that tweets an awkward adolescent photo of themselves with the #PuberMe hashtag, Colbert will donate $1,000 to hurricane relief efforts, and Kroll will match it. Not only do we get to see some ridiculously hilarious photos, but that kind of money is going to add up to a lot of help for Puerto Rico.

Of course, Colbert and Kroll kicked it off themselves.

Stephen Colbert PuberMe challenge for Maria relief 1

Stephen Colbert PuberMe challenge for Maria relief 1

Stephen Colbert PuberMe challenge for Maria relief 3

Stephen Colbert PuberMe challenge for Maria relief 3

More: Rihanna Calls Out Donald Trump for Neglecting Hurricane Maria Victims

Others were quick to join in.

Stephen Colbert PuberMe challenge for Maria relief 2

Stephen Colbert PuberMe challenge for Maria relief 2

Stephen Colbert PuberMe challenge for Maria relief 4

Stephen Colbert PuberMe challenge for Maria relief 4

Stephen Colbert PuberMe challenge for Maria relief 5

Stephen Colbert PuberMe challenge for Maria relief 5

Stephen Colbert PuberMe challenge for Maria relief 6

Stephen Colbert PuberMe challenge for Maria relief 6

Stephen Colbert PuberMe challenge for Maria relief 7

Stephen Colbert PuberMe challenge for Maria relief 7

Stephen Colbert PuberMe challenge for Maria relief 9

Stephen Colbert PuberMe challenge for Maria relief 9

Stephen Colbert PuberMe challenge for Maria relief 10

Stephen Colbert PuberMe challenge for Maria relief 10

Stephen Colbert PuberMe challenge for Maria relief 11

Stephen Colbert PuberMe challenge for Maria relief 11

Stephen Colbert PuberMe challenge for Maria relief 12

Stephen Colbert PuberMe challenge for Maria relief 12

Stephen Colbert PuberMe challenge for Maria relief 13

Stephen Colbert PuberMe challenge for Maria relief 13

Stephen Colbert PuberMe challenge for Maria relief 14

Stephen Colbert PuberMe challenge for Maria relief 14

Really, though, the best one just came in. Reese Witherspoon, who we're a little bit obsessed with right now in our post-Big Little Lies binge watching phase, shared hers, and dang was she a cute teenager.

Stephen Colbert PuberMe challenge for Maria relief 8

Stephen Colbert PuberMe challenge for Maria relief 8

More: Beyoncé's First New Music Since Giving Birth Has a Bigger Purpose

Raising money for people in desperate need, and giving us a much-needed comedic break. This is the kind of activism we want to see.

You’re Not Alone If You’re Choosing Not to Have Sex

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There are many reasons why abstaining from sex altogether might work for someone, but celibacy, whether or not it’s for religious reasons, is an enormous taboo in spite of the crooked emphasis on purity for women. If folks opt out of sex, it must be because they can’t “get any” because we can’t imagine there would be benefits to saying no to sex. So what do we know about choosing to be celibate? Why do it? And can it actually improve your quality of life?

“It’s fascinating how things have changed in 50 years,” says Jill Whitney, a marriage and family therapist. “Once, if you didn’t have a partner, it was assumed you’d be celibate. Now, we act as if there’s something wrong with that.”

More: 4 Startups That Are Game-Changers for Sexual Health

For some, ending a relationship could be the cue for a period of celibacy — maybe you’re recognizing some patterns in your romantic life you want to change or you’re feeling vulnerable or particularly tender.

Whitney explained: “You might not be interested in casual sex; maybe it just doesn’t appeal to you, or maybe you’ve tried it and didn’t like it. Maybe you find it hard to keep feelings from popping up even when you don’t want them to, so it’s simpler to avoid having sex when you know you don’t want a relationship with the person.”

When asked about her reasons for remaining celibate for 12 years, author Sophie Fontanel told New York magazine that she “wanted to recover my body. My real desire was to re-want having sex. When I stopped, I was so excited to be alone in my bed.”

Remember: If you’re choosing to refrain from sex, you can dictate what that means for yourself. You might not be having intercourse with another person, but that doesn’t necessarily mean you choose not to use that time to get acquainted with yourself.

While this isn’t necessarily true for everyone, the absence of sex can mean the absence of drama and more space and time to connect with the rest of your life.

More: 6 Times the Golden Girls Were Women’s Health Pioneers

“I became less restless when I didn’t have a date, and grew more at ease with myself, watching my desires and turning them towards somewhere else,” wrote Laura Yan in a 2016 essay in Good.

Without sex, you’re not going to contract an STI and you aren’t going to get pregnant, which are pretty big sources of anxiety, especially since birth control isn’t always effective. And even though sex can make us healthier, the unrelenting emphasis on it has us believing that the only real intimate relationship is one that involves sex. This is a super-dangerous idea; it not only confines us to imagining intimacy in limited ways, but it excludes folks who identify as asexual or who have a low sex drive from the narrative of what a healthy relationship can be.

“Many people have mental health issues surrounding sex and relationships,” says Jonathan Bennett, who runs the website and business The Popular Man. "Whether it’s surviving sexual and physical abuse or dealing with issues of attachment and abandonment, for some men and women, sex isn’t a pleasurable experience. For them, celibacy allows them to live a happy and healthy life.”

More: This Group Has Created a Reproductive Health Guide for Women With Disabilities

According to a 2010 study, women who abstain from sex were more likely to have positive health behaviors, such as refraining from drug use. If you’re choosing what’s best for you in spite of social pressure and preconceived notions, that’s a decision you should feel good about. The essential thing in celibacy and in sex is doing what’s right for you as an individual,” says Jill Whitney. “It doesn’t matter whether your choice makes sense to anyone else; it’s not their business. If taking time off from sex seems like the right move for you, then embrace it and enjoy whatever you experience in the process.”

By Chanel Dubofsky

Scarlett Johansson & Her SNL Boyfriend Made Their Couple Debut

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Um, guys, the Saturday Night Live after party following the season opener on Saturday was the place to be. Photos have been slowly trickling out from the event and showing just how star-studded it really was, and basically everyone who's anyone was there.

More: Scarlett Johansson Opens Up About Growing Up on Welfare & Food Stamps

First off, there was Scarlett Johansson, who finally stepped out in public with her new boyfriend, Colin Jost. Johansson and her ex-husband Romain Dauriac just finalized their divorce, and Johansson rang in Sunday, which would have been their third anniversary, partying with Jost, who she's been dating since sometime last spring. Sources confirmed their relationship in June.

They weren't the only ones to have a big night. Leslie Jones, who has been a star of SNL since she joined the cast in 2013, also had the time of her life hanging with a few of her idols: Beyoncé and Jay Z. Jay Z was the musical guest on Saturday's episode, and he joined the cast to party after the show. Sources say Bey joined him later, around 2 or 3 a.m.

More: Sarah Hyland Can Sing Like a Bird, but She's Not the Only Actress With Pipes

Jones managed to snag selfies with both Bey and Jay, and the way she reacted to getting pics with them was pretty much the same way any of us would have reacted.

Leslie Jones meets Beyonce and Jay Z at SNL party 1

Leslie Jones meets Beyonce and Jay Z at SNL party 1

"I take the worst pics ever!!," she wrote alongside the pic of her and a smiling Queen Bey. "Thank God Beyoncé is just fucking beautiful!! Thanks for pic Queen B!! I was so nervous!"

And on the snap she took with Jay Z, she wrote, "Jay Z is a lyrical beast!!! Thanks for the pic!! Again soooo nervous!!"

Leslie Jones meets Beyonce and Jay Z at SNL party 2

Leslie Jones meets Beyonce and Jay Z at SNL party 2

More: Kate McKinnon Is the Worst Person to Call If You Commit a Crime

So new life goal: Go to a SNL after party.


How to ‘Green’ Your Pregnancy

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When you’re pregnant, it makes sense that you’d want to do everything you can to be healthy. After all, you’re growing another human, and that’s a pretty big responsibility. But there’s a concept floating around that you should have a “nontoxic” pregnancy. Have you heard of this? Here’s the problem: It's not really a thing.

For starters, the idea that you should do things — like follow certain diets or consume certain drinks — to get rid of "toxins" in your body isn’t based on science. Toxins are things that you introduce into your body by inhaling, eating or absorbing, and that can be considered poisonous (think: snake venom). While there are plenty of products out there that claim to detoxify you, they’re kind of bogus; your body detoxifies you naturally. “If a body is functioning normally, it does a good job in efficiently detoxifying itself through the liver, kidneys and sweat glands,” says women’s health specialist Dr. Jennifer Wider.

More: The SheKnows Guide to Giving Birth

There are, however, some ingredients and chemicals that you should try to avoid when you’re pregnant. They’re not toxins, per se, but they are things that you'll want to steer clear of if you can. Certain chemicals could cross the placenta and harm your developing baby, Wider explains.

Here are the big baddies to look out for.

Lead

Lead, which can impair a child’s brain development, comes primarily from old paint or drinking water in some old houses, says Sonya Lunder, a senior analyst at the Environmental Working Group. There are at-home test kits for lead if you’re concerned about your tap water.

Arsenic

Arsenic, which is linked to poor brain development, can be found in tap water and some foods, such as rice, which is why Lunder recommends avoiding rice-based ingredients in processed foods such as rice flour or rice syrup. But rice itself can be a healthy staple, she says.

More: All-Natural "Baby" Products Moms Can Totally Steal

Pesticides

Pesticides have been tied to neurological problems and birth defects in babies who were exposed in utero, Wider says. The best way to stay away from pesticides during your pregnancy is to avoid spraying them in your house, Lunder says. It’s also a good idea to strive to eat organic produce, which is grown without pesticides, whenever possible.

Phthalates

Unfortunately, these are widespread and often show up in personal care items, cosmetics, toys and nail polish, among other things. “They are endocrine disruptors and have been known to cause miscarriage and sterility in developing fetuses,” Wider says.

Triclosan

This ingredient is often in antibacterial soaps and has been linked to low birth weight and poor APGAR scores (APGAR is a method used to quickly assess the health of newborns), Wider says. That’s why it’s so important to read the labels on your soaps before using them.

More: Mom Who Had 3 Babies in 11 Months Shares Pic of Postpartum Belly

Certain popular skin care ingredients

Salicylic acid, retinol and tetracyclines are in many skin care products you should ideally avoid while pregnant. While over-the-counter topical salicylic acid products may be safe, prescription-strength and oral forms of it aren’t; they can cause an increased risk of intracranial bleeding in the baby, Wider says. She adds that retinol, a form of vitamin A, has been linked to birth defects when taken in high doses. And then there's tetracyclines, which can cause discoloration of the fetus' developing teeth if used by the pregnant mother in the second and third trimester, Wider explains.

That’s a lot to take in, and it’s hard to stay on top of all this. “Women sometimes get overwhelmed by the long ‘No’ list, so sometimes we emphasize the positives instead,” Lunder says. For example, there are plenty of things you can do to boost your body’s ability to fight off hazardous chemicals — Lunder recommends taking a prenatal vitamin, drinking plenty of filtered tap water, and eating a healthy diet with lots of fruits and vegetables.

Obviously, it’s tough to avoid everything that could potentially cause a problem. So just do your best, and you'll be fine. And once you've got pregnancy covered, we've got your back when the big day arrives.

7 Not-So-Easy-to-Pick-Up-On Signs That You're in a Toxic Relationship

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Look, no relationship and no person are perfect. Navigating through life as a couple is tough stuff — but that totally doesn't give someone a free pass to manipulate you and treat you like crap. The only problem is sometimes it's hard to tell the difference between normal relationship issues and truly toxic habits.

But you might want to say goodbye fast to a partner who displays any of these signs.

1. They keep saying how much they like you, but only have time to get together a couple of times a month

If someone is really into building a relationship, he or she will offer much more than lip service about being ready to get serious. He or she will make time in a busy schedule for a new love. This type of under-the-radar toxic person not only rarely sees you, but hardly ever calls. Engaging in more than the occasional text takes too much time and energy away from the incredibly demanding life of Mr. or Ms. Devoted-To-You-Oh Yeah-What’s-Your-Name? And odds are this wonderful new lover blames the scarcity of time the two of you spend together on you always being busy!

2. They say you’re great yet there’s always something about you they criticize

This charmer thinks you’re the best thing since the invention of chocolate brownies. And yet — you wear too much makeup or you should wear more makeup or you’re not a good listener or you are too quiet or…. You get the point.

Dating a person who can’t support who you are as you are, and always finds "little things" that should be improved means that the one improvement you should really make is jettisoning Mr. or Ms. Fault-Finder from your life ASAP.

More: How to Have a Successful Friends-With-Benefits Relationship

3. They are good at talking about their problems, but don't listen when you have things on your mind

The all-about-me-all-the-time person expects you to be by his or her side, ears atingle to hear every precious word uttered. When he or she has a sniffle, it’s your job to run over with chicken soup. However, if you have something you want advice on or just an ear, your lover’s eyes take on a glassy look and the conversation is quickly turned back to his or her favorite subject — guess who?

Don’t be suckered into thinking whatever is on your mind isn’t as important as your lover’s needs. Healthy relationships are two-way streets, not one-way only.

4. They are jealous when things are going well for you

This super-insecure person can’t take it when you have something good happen to you. If your new partner minimizes your success (“sure, sure, nice it happened, now let me talk about the deal I have going!”), acts resentful, passive-aggressive, emotionally distant, jealous and/or super sulky instead of praising you to the skies over your achievement, Houston, we have a problem.

Your best move in this case: Abort the mission!

5. They are never wrong; absolutely incapable of apologizing

The person you are dating does not have to be a full-on narcissist in order to demonstrate he or she is someone who does not deserve your consideration as a potential lifetime partner.

When someone always has to be right, even when it’s clear he or she is wrong, that is a sign of rampant rigidity and self-denial. Many women in therapy sessions have confided how their partner committed wrongs ranging from standing them up to indulging in a display of bad temper, yet refusing to admit to bad behavior. One woman said, “Bill opened a car door for the first time in two months of dating, which I suspect was the closest he’d ever come to saying ‘I’m sorry.’”

6. They are deeply in love with you, even though the relationship is spanking new

It may seem flattering at first when a new love sweeps you off your feet, passionately stating you are the most fabulous person on earth and that he or she cannot ever live without you. But rather than being flattering, it’s a sign that something is off about your admirer.

This is not to say you do not deserve to be passionately adored, but true love builds slowly, over months or years of getting to know and accept the other person — flaws and all. If you are receiving bouquets of expensive flowers, 10 phone calls a day, desperate texts when you don’t instantly answer a contact and other signs of obsessive attention, end the relationship before the passion becomes dangerous possessiveness.

More: How to Get Rid of Relationship Anxiety

7. They are constantly trash-talking an ex

When a person casts him- or herself as a total innocent and a former lover as someone who is a malevolent, selfish, grotesque human being with not one redeeming quality, your response should be, “OK, I’m outta here. Best of luck to you.”

Because the message being imparted by the relentlessly nasty outpouring is that one day that is how you will be talked about.

Originally posted August 2016. Updated October 2017.

Don't Buy New Cookware Until You Know All the Details About Each Kind First

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If you've ever waltzed into Target and bought the first pot and pan set you saw chillin' on the shelf, you know being casual with your shopping for cookware is a huge mistake. Purchasing the wrong kind of cookware for you kitchen habits and cooking style can end in disaster — and tears. Not investing in the right cookware pieces is pretty much the equivalent lighting a wad of bills on fire with your new gas stovetop.

Before you buy, there are a few big decisions to make, like what kind of material you should be cooking with and why. Let's weigh the pros and cons of each type of cookware, shall we?

Aluminum cookware

Aluminum pots
Image: KatarzynaBialasiewicz/iStock/Getty Images Plus

Pros

Anodized aluminum pots and pans are lightweight, resist denting and scratching, don't rust and are excellent thermal conductors of heat (they'll distribute heat evenly to cook food without hot spots). Approximately half of all cookware manufactured is made from aluminum, and it is often used to improve stainless steel.

Cons

Raw aluminum (as opposed to anodized) is reactive to alkaline and acidic ingredients (tomatoes, leafy vegetables and citrus) and prone to warping and scratching. It can also discolor certain foods (such as white sauces). Fortunately most aluminum pots and pans are treated with a coating of aluminum oxide, which vastly improves the cooking properties.

More: How to Clean a Burned Pot, No Chemicals (or Stress) Needed

Cast-iron cookware

Cast-iron pan
Image: Westend61/Getty Images

Pros

A properly seasoned cast-iron skillet is the not-so-secret weapon of many cooks. Great for simmering and browning, cast iron imbues years of flavor into every meal. It's inexpensive, won't warp, conducts heat very well and, if seasoned well, has a relatively nonstick surface. You can also easily go from stovetop to oven.

Cons

Even though no kitchen is complete without a cast-iron skillet, it does have its drawbacks. It's heavy, reactive, high-maintenance and not suited for all food. It also isn't recommended for ceramic-glass cooktops. It's worth noting that cast iron leaches — surprise — iron into your food. Many people consider this a benefit, but unexpected metal in the diet can be dangerous for certain people.

Ceramic cookware

Ceramic cookware
Image: supermimicry/E+/Getty Images

Pros

Pots and pans made from ceramic are perhaps the most versatile cookware available in stores today. They can survive heat that would melt stainless steel (so oven-safe, unless you have one heck of an oven) but still can be used to store food in the refrigerator and freezer. And unlike metal cookware, they can be used in a microwave. They are generally very easy to maintain with a naturally nonstick surface, but can take mild abrasives and scrubbing without marring their attractive gloss finish, which is important, since they also make attractive serving dishes. They're widely considered to be the least reactive cookware available.

Cons

Despite many superior cooking and aesthetic qualities, ceramic cookware also has some drawbacks. It can be heavy and cumbersome and will crack if dropped. It may also crack your tile floor. Older cookware made from ceramic and stone may contain lead. Additionally, cheaper ceramic cookware may discolor ceramic-glass cooktops at higher heat.

Next up: Copper cookware

Updated by Sarah Long 10/2/2017.

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Copper cookware

Copper pots
Image: PhotoAlto/Jerome Gorin/Getty Images

Pros

Copper pots are revered for their ability to conduct heat and cook food very evenly. Chefs prize them for their ability to quickly achieve precise temperatures and maintain them, making them perfect for sauces, browning and braising. Also, they're gorgeous and will complement any kitchen.

Cons

Almost as renown as copper cookware's precision is their daunting price and their reactiveness to acid. Most are now lined with stainless steel or tin, but pure copper pots impart a metallic taste to food and can leave gray streaks. Frequent polishing is the price of beauty, and they can dent fairly easily. You absolutely should not use them on a ceramic-glass-top stove.

More: Take Your Steak-Cooking Skills to the Next Level With 9 Simple Tips

Glass cookware

Glass bakeware
Image: Annabelle Breakey/DigitalVision/Getty Images

Pros

Glass is inexpensive, nonporous and nonreactive. Being nonreactive is an especially useful benefit for high-acid food like tomatoes and volatile ones like yeast. Their nonporous nature may be important to safety-conscious people, as there is growing concern over trace amounts of heavy metal leaching into food from metal cookware. Glass also bakes faster and retains heat longer than metal does. Snap on a heat-safe lid, and you can easily serve up hot food at a party or picnic.

Cons

Glass is heavy and especially prone to breaking when dropped. Glass can also be difficult to clean when food bakes onto it. It's not recommended for ceramic-glass cooktops.

Nonstick cookware

Nonstick pan
Image: EHStock/Getty Images

Pros

Cookware with nonstick coatings like Teflon, Tefal, Silverstone, Anolon, Circulon, Calphalon and others are remarkably easy to cook with and clean. They're healthier, as they require less butter or oil to start a dish, and some are engineered to be oven-safe. Nonstick ceramic is quickly growing in popularity and offsets some of the negative and dangerous aspects of nonstick coatings.

Cons

Cookware with nonstick coatings can only be used with safe utensils like plastic and wood, or you risk scratching through the coating, which accelerates its inevitable erosion. Under heavy use, nonstick coatings eventually flake and scratch and introduce harmful chemicals into your food. At high heat (over 500 degrees F), some of these coatings, notably Teflon, emit off-gas, which is toxic to humans, inducing flu-like symptoms. Bird lovers, beware: Off-gas is fatal to birds.

Porcelain enamel cookware

Porcelain cookware
Image: COSPV/iStock/Getty Images Plus

Pros

Seen frequently as Dutch ovens and large skillets, these dishes are usually made from cast iron or carbon steel coated in porcelain enamel. They combine some of the best qualities of ceramic and cast iron. They are nonreactive and easy to clean like ceramic but don't need to be seasoned like cast iron.

Cons

They also combine some of the drawbacks of both. They're heavy and will break when dropped. There are also reports of their coating discoloring ceramic-glass cooktops at high heat, so be careful when using them.

Next up: Silicone cookware

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Silicone cookware

Silicone cookware
Image: ZenShui/Laurence Mouton/PhotoAlto Agency RF Collections/Getty Images

Pros

Made from sand and oxygen, silicone is nonstick, nonreactive and safe to use in the oven, microwave, refrigerator, freezer and dishwasher. They're also very lightweight and won't stain.

Cons

They are a bit on the expensive side and can be awkward and unstable.

Stainless steel cookware

Stainless steel cookware
Image: Westend61/Getty Images

Pros

The workhorse of kitchens throughout the world, you can find this cookware in just about every home in America. Stainless steel cookware is made from an alloy of metals, which usually include some combination of steel, carbon, nickel and chromium. They're engineered to be nonporous, durable, corrosion-resistant and easy to clean.

Cons

Stainless steel is one of the more expensive types of cookware you can buy, especially when combined with other metals like copper (which is sometimes used to improve its naturally poor heat conductivity). It has a tendency to discolor under high heat and to pit when exposed to salt water. Additionally, if scratched, chromium and nickel could leach into your food.

Titanium cookware

Titanium cookware
Image: dancestrokes/iStock/Getty Images Plus

Pros

Titanium is extraordinarily light and strong (the highest strength-to-weight ratio known to man, actually). It also heats very evenly and quickly. It's nonporous, nonreactive, nonallergenic and can have an antibacterial coating. Titanium cookware resists scratching, denting and warping and is safe to use in the oven. If that's not enough, it's nonstick, so you can start a dish without butter, oil or water. It can often be wiped clean with a washcloth.

Cons

As you might expect, titanium is very expensive — the only significant drawback. Many people decide the extra expense is justified and treat the cookware as an investment, since titanium will often still look like new after years of use.

Knowing Signs of a Heart Attack & Cardiac Arrest in Women Could Save a Life

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When we hear the term "heart attack" most of us have a pretty specific mental image that comes to mind — and for the most part, that vision includes an older man collapsing while clutching his chest or left arm. While said scenario isn't unheard of, it's not exclusively what a heart attack looks like. In fact, the symptoms and signs of a life-threatening heart attack can take many forms, and the truth is that an attack can look very different for a woman.

Over the past 15 years or so, campaigns by organizations like the American Heart Association have worked to raise awareness that despite the fact that it’s typically considered a male condition, heart disease is actually the leading cause of death of women in the United States. The risk is highest among women over the age of 50.

Just as a quick refresher, even though people tend to use the terms “heart attack” and “cardiac arrest” interchangeably, they are not the same thing. According to the American Heart Association, a heart attack occurs when blood flow to the heart is blocked, while cardiac arrest happens when the heart malfunctions and stops beating unexpectedly. Symptoms of cardiac arrest are a sudden loss of responsiveness and not breathing normally (for instance, if the person isn't breathing at all or gasping for air).

More: Yes, Young Women Can Have Heart Attacks Too

With so much conflicting information out there, we spoke with two renowned cardiologists to get to the bottom of what women should be on the lookout for in terms of heart health. Here are a few tips.

Know the classic heart attack symptoms

Yes, heart attacks in women can and frequently do look different than those in men — and we’ll get to that in a minute. But to start with, Dr. John N. Bahadorani, an interventional cardiologist at the Saddleback Memorial Medical Center in Laguna Hills, California, says that there are actually more similarities than differences in symptoms between men and women, so knowing generally what to keep an eye out for is necessary.

Another similarity, according to Dr. Gregory S. Thomas, the medical director of the MemorialCare Heart & Vascular Institute in Long Beach, California, is that heart attack symptoms for both men and women become subtler with age. In fact, some heart attacks are so subtle, they are “silent,” he says, meaning that there is no pain or other symptoms to alert a patient that there heart does not receive enough blood flow. In these cases, the heart attack is picked up by an ECG or imaging test of the heart, rather than because of pain.

More: What You Need to Know About Women & Heart Attacks After Carrie Fisher's Death

Image: Terese Condella/SheKnows

Here are the classic symptoms of a heart attack for both women and men according to Bahadorani: 

  1. Chest pain or pressure “elephant sitting on my chest”’ 
  2. Gradual onset with waxing and waning of the intensity
  3. Provoked by exercise and relieved with rest and/or nitroglycerin
  4. Radiation of the pain to the shoulder (left more so than right), lower jaw, neck, back upper abdomen
  5. Associated symptoms of shortness of breath, sweat beading on the forehead, feeling cold/clammy, nausea, fatigue, numbness/tingling in the fingers
  6. Angina (pain as result of mismatch between myocardial oxygen demand and supply) typically lasts two to five minutes, while pain as a result of a heart attack can last for more than 30 minutes.

What’s different in women?

For women, heart attack symptoms may be in between the classic symptoms of pain in the chest and no symptoms at all, Thomas says.

According to both Bahadorani and Thomas, symptoms women in particular need to be aware of include:

  1. Sudden onset of weakness or fatigue
  2. Shortness of breath, lightheadedness and/or a fainting episode
  3. Nausea/indigestion and/or upper abdominal pain
  4. Body aches, including back pain
  5. A “burning sensation” in the chest
  6. An overall feeling of illness (without chest pain)

Also, women have a greater likelihood of their symptoms being induced at rest, during sleep and/or by mental stress as opposed to the typical correlation with physical exertion, Bahadorani says. He adds that for women, the most prominent symptoms in the chest region are discomfort, crushing, pressing or bad aches.

Why do women’s heart attacks sometimes go unnoticed?

Given the symptoms described above, it is often more difficult for a woman to tell that she is having a heart attack or a warning of a heart attack than a man. Along the same lines, it makes the diagnosis more difficult for physicians, Bahadorani says — particularly among younger women. As of yet, research has not shown us why there is a difference between women and men in this regard, according to Thomas.

So here’s the tricky part: Because women don’t typically get chest-clutching TV heart attacks and the symptoms tend to be ones they may encounter on a daily basis from menopause or aging in general, how do you know when to be concerned about your heart?

More: 5 Things You Need to Know About Eating Disorders & Your Heart

“This can be a challenge,” Thomas notes. “If pain is part of the constellation of symptoms, the closer the pain is to the chest, the more likely a heart attack or a warning of a heart attack has occurred.”

Another key, he says, is that the symptoms — including severe fatigue, fainting, severe sweating — come on fairly rapidly and are new, in which case they should be checked out by a physician.

What can you do about it?

It sounds cliché, but being aware of the symptoms is really important in order to be able to identify the early signs — especially if you’re already at risk.

“Woman who carry risk factors for heart disease such as high blood pressure, family history of premature coronary artery disease, elevated cholesterol, smokers or diabetes should be screened for symptoms of heart disease and should be considered for stress testing if there are any concerning findings upon clinical consultation,” Bahadorani says.

He also recommends making “aggressive risk factor and lifestyle modifications,” and if there are enough risk factors for coronary artery disease, physicians may recommend starting a baby aspirin.

There is good news: With better understanding that women and their symptoms are indeed different, the death rate from heart disease in women began decreasing in the year 2000 and has continued to do so, Thomas notes.

Image: Terese Condella/SheKnows

Originally published January 2010. Updated August 2017.

Did This Redditor Figure Out How Jack Dies on This Is Us?

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Rarely does a show endear itself as wholly and as quickly to audiences as NBC's This Is Us. Despite the fact the family drama tugs on the ol' heartstrings week after week, fans keep tuning in — not just for the sweet dynamics of the Pearson clan, but also for the intrigue. How did Jack die? It's the question on everyone's mind, and one Redditor may just have solved the tragic mystery.

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As promised, the Season 2 premiere revealed a tiny sliver of insight into the death of the Pearson family patriarch. It would seem, sadly, that Jack died in a fire that consumed the family home.

However, this is a tearjerking series that loves layers, right?

The emotions This Is Us elicits each episode are multi-dimensional: happiness sandwiched between sadness and peppered with nostalgia. Basically, just when you think you're done with the feels, you're probably going to have to pull out the Kleenex and have yourself a solid ugly cry session all over your sofa.

This brings us to the brilliant, albeit heartbreaking theory hatched by Redditor ashelizabethmoon, who starts by citing a quote from series showrunner Dan Fogelman.

"What causes the fire is going to be heartbreaking. The small movements in our lives, and how big they can become if little things break the right way or the wrong way — I've always been fascinated by [the fact that] you could have met your husband or your wife if you had just not gone that way at the bar that night, or the friend hadn't wanted to set you up," Fogelman told Entertainment Weekly.

The Redditor then explains that their best guess for the cause of the fire is the washing machine. "At the end of Season 1, Episode 7 'The Best Washing Machine in the World,' Kevin — who had just moved to the basement because he didn't want to share a room with Randall anymore — yells for Rebecca, screaming that the washing machine is possessed (signaling that it is not working properly)," says the Redditor, pointing out that the time frame fits.

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"It is reasonable to assume that fixing it was not Rebecca's priority given that she was reigniting her music career, and Jack began drinking again at this time," they elaborated. "It is also reasonable to assume the family's focus was not on the washing machine once Jack returned home to work on recovery."

We don't want it to, but this theory actually makes sense. Even more so when you think about how much deeper the tragedy of Jack's death becomes in context to something that was the center of such joy for the family.

"The montages of the Pearsons and washing machines set to Cat Stevens... standing alone, they were sweet and nostalgic. But imagine the scenes — Jack's promise to buy her a washing machine, Rebecca questioning how they could manage laundry for three infants after their first machine broke, chaos and bubbles spewing from their next washing machine and Jack and Rebecca admiring the best washing machine in the world — juxtaposed with the aftermath of the fire caused by the machine. Chills," the Redditor wrote.

So why would Kate feel at fault? According to ashelizabethmoon, it's possible Kate switched rooms with Kevin. At the time, his cast would have made traversing the basement stairs tricky, at best. Jack could have been trying to save Kate, or she could blame herself for doing something that led to the washing machine catching fire.

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Or, as another Redditor suggested, perhaps Kevin sneaked off with his girlfriend (who we know he is with after the fire), and Kate covered for him by saying he was at home. If Jack thought his son on crutches was stuck in the basement, you better believe Papa Pearson would put his life on the line to get Kev out of there.

And there you have it: a theory you will simultaneously love and hate. Either way, you've got to admit that is some seriously impressive internet sleuthing.

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