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Madonna's Twins Perform the Best Dance of All Time for Their 5th Birthday

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The "awwwww" that was heard 'round the world today? That's all the work of Madonna's twins, who just turned 5. The pair kicked off their birthday celebration (right on the tail of their mom's own birthday) with a truly amazing dance routine.

Madonna delighted fans by posting a video of the twins on Instagram today. The exclamation mark-studded caption read, "Its [sic] the Happy Birthday Dance!!!! We are 5!!! Let the Celebration Begin!!"

More: Madonna Posts Rare Photo of All Six Kids on Her Birthday

We'll let you see for yourself why nobody's getting any work done this morning.

Madonna twins

Madonna twins

Madonna confirmed in February 2017 to People that she had adopted the twin sisters in Malawi. Their names are Stella and Esther (or Stelle and Estere — Madonna has spelled the names both ways). She also posted a heartfelt adoption announcement for her fans on Instagram.

Madonna twins 1

Madonna twins 1

These girls clearly take their dancing skills seriously, just like their mom. Their intense expressions during said birthday dance are pretty much slaying us. This is serious birthday business, people.

This isn't the first time Madonna has shared a video of her girls dancing — and after this, we really hope it won't be the last.

Stella and Esther, you nailed it. Happy fifth, tiny dancers.


Céline Dion Gives Perfect Update About Her Love Life Since Husband's Death

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Is Céline Dion moving on after her husband's death?

More: Céline Dion Is Giving the Performance We've Been Waiting for Since 1997

Dion was in Montréal earlier this week launching her new handbag line when, according to The Cut, someone there asked her about her love life. Dion responded in the best possible way. She looked a little flabbergasted by the question and then she lifted her microphone and sang, "Shine bright like a diamond," which is a line from Rihanna's song "Diamonds." Luckily, her response was caught on tape so we can all bask in how perfect it is.

Celine Dion sings in response to questiona bout her bf

Celine Dion sings in response to questiona bout her bf

More: Céline Dion's Final Goodbye to Her Husband Brought Me to Tears

Her response didn't really answer the question, but we're finding it hard to care because what a queen-like response, right? But seriously, we still need some answers. Is Dion trying to tell us she's too busy shining bright on her own to be dating anyone? Is she just straight-up deflecting because she doesn't want to talk about her private life when she's trying to launch a handbag line? We may never know.

What we do know is that rumors have been linking Dion to Pepe Muñoz, a backup dancer/aspiring fashion designer, since last month. Even though Dion denies being in a relationship with Muñoz, they've been traveling together and might have been seen holding hands. As much as she denies it, we kind of hope there's some truth to the rumors because Dion deserves happiness.

More: Céline Dion May Choose Never to Love Another Man Again

Dion and her late husband, René Angélil, were together from 1994 until his death in January of 2016. She said recently that it still feels too soon to be dating, but it's coming up on two years. No one would blame Dion if she put herself back out there, ya know?

An Old Face Is Returning to DWTS to Compete for the Mirrorball Trophy

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Update August 24, 2017, 11:50 a.m. PT: After a few seasons away, Entertainment Tonight reported that dance pro Mark Ballas would return to Dancing with the Stars for Season 25.

Mark Ballas DWTS Season 25

Mark Ballas DWTS Season 25

Ballas was last seen on Season 22 of DWTS, so his return has caused a lot of excitement. Good Morning America also announced the other pros that will return for Season 25, including: Emma Slater, Lindsay Arnold, Keo Motsepe, Artem Chigvintsev, Gleb Savchenko, Sharna Burgess and Witney Carson. Pro Alan Bersten is set to make his debut.

Original story:

Judging by the casting rumors, Dancing with the Stars is about to two-step its way into the most interesting season yet. Not only have sources been buzzing about ABC courting controversial contestants Sean Spicer and DeMario Jackson, the latest reports also suggest the network has secured TV fan favorites Drew Scott and Nikki Bella for the eclectic cast.

More: Maksim Chmerkovskiy & Peta Murgatroyd Had the Most Magical Wedding in 2017

Word has it we'll find out for sure on Thursday, Aug. 24 when ABC officially announces the cast for Season 25 on Good Morning America. Until then, it's anyone's guess who'll actually make the cut. But, hey, here's hoping this most recent round of rumors turns out to be true — who wouldn't love to see Property Brothers' Drew Scott and Total Divas' Nikki Bella compete for the coveted Mirrorball trophy?

An HGTV fan favorite, Scott appears alongside his twin brother Jonathan on their popular home renovation series. A dapper dresser and smoother talker, he serves as the foil to his flannel-wearing, hammer-wielding contractor bro (who admittedly would have been fun to watch on the dance floor too).

More: Tom Bergeron Turns Into Ugly Sexist While Interviewing Simone Biles

Coincidentally, Bella is also a twin — one-half of WWE's famous Bella Twins with sister Brie. That's not Bella's only claim to fame, either. She happens to be engaged to another huge name in the wrestling world: John Cena.

Yep, if this all shakes out, it should be quite a spectacle to behold. Dancing with the Stars Season 25 premieres on Monday, Sept. 18 at 8/7c on ABC.

How Sexual Trauma Makes Me Think Twice About Having a Child

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Here is something gloomy and disturbing: I don’t have one female or femme friend who hasn’t been the victim of some sort of sexual violation. For me, this has raised the question of whether I should bring a child into this world, knowing they too will more than likely suffer the injustice of this world. It also brings up what would happen if I had a son — that he might become something I don’t dare utter.

As far as sex education is concerned, rape and sexual violations are not part of the discussion. Rarely is consent talked about or even taught. My entire body shrinks thinking about a future son capable of crossing sexual boundaries without permission. My spirit drops imagining a future daughter traumatized in irreversible ways. It feels like the odds are against me. And it feels scary and overwhelming.

More: Why It Matters That Taylor Swift Showed Up to Her Groping Trial

Maybe my perspective is all wrong. Maybe I should increase my positive vibes and believe that I can make a difference. I could teach my children. While that very well could be the case, what terrifies me most are children raised without certain values. Boys who aren’t given proper training in how to treat another human’s body. Girls who aren’t taught about self-confidence. What a dangerous combo — boys with tons of privilege and lack of awareness plus girls who are too scared to speak up or unaware that they can. It’s soul shattering, really.

For me, having a child isn’t about some selfish need to see my partner and I mix our genes and ooh and aah at the outcome — it’s about avoiding the unavoidable, protecting, moving forward and moving on. And while many might disagree with me, I’m OK with that, because after all, this is my body. I make my human experience what I want it to be. As a victim of sexual trauma myself, I am considering a childless route for plenty of reasons.

I am a survivor. But that doesn’t mean I’m strong. While challenges have indeed made me stronger, they have also given me numerous sleepless nights and panic attacks. Of course, I would like my children to face challenges only to emerge braver and more equipped. However, when it comes to sexual trauma, those long, restless, tear-filled, panicky nights are ones I wouldn’t wish on anyone — male or female, friend or foe.

MoreHere's the Problem With This New Date Rape-Detection Tool

I carry my trauma around with me. I am nervous alone at night. I am nervous around large groups of men. I am nervous if a strange man approaches me — even in a public space in the middle of the day. My trauma is a scar, one that I mostly feel and don’t see. But I do see it too. I see it on the faces of men who look like the perpetrators. I see it on my face when I look into the mirror. Neither are easy to erase.

I don’t always like sex. Don’t get me wrong. I am sexually liberated, and most of the time, I love sex, yet there are moments when the trauma creeps back in. It can be a voice in the back of my head, a ghost in the room, a memory brought back by smell or sound. What does this mean exactly? Sometimes I don’t enjoy sex with my partner. Sometimes I am totally repulsed by the idea of being that vulnerable with him. It’s not him — it’s me. And that’s no excuse. That’s the truth when one is a victim of sexual trauma.

I believe unresolved trauma and pain can be passed down through genes. While it might sound all new age-y, I am convinced that it can be felt on a body that did not have the experience. Even plants pass on information in their genes, so why wouldn’t humans be able to? My body has felt the sexual trauma of my grandmother — it’s an ache in my heart so heavy, so gut-wrenching. And I am not willing to pass that down to my children.

MoreCan Mexico City Subway's "Penis Seat" Help End Sexual Assault on Public Transit?

I am still coping. My trauma is unresolved, and it might take this entire lifetime to banish it. I’m not sure how to manage trauma that’s still fresh on the body, then rationalize bringing forth a fresh life. I am not at peace with birthing anything that doesn’t help me in my journey to heal. For me, a child would not be a cure; rather, it would feel like something altogether too substantial to bear.

In looking closely at my sexual trauma, I’ve faced my demons and the facts. I’m OK with not having children. After all, not every female is meant to procreate.

In many ways, I am grateful. My sexual trauma has led me on a journey all my own — one full of introspection, one full of confronting identity and social concepts and one full of realizing that what’s right for others might not be right for me. And knowing myself is the best gift the universe can give me.

Expect a Lot of Sexual Tension & Innuendos on The Great British Bake Off

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We all know The Great British Bake Off is going to be different this season, but some things never change.

More: Details on J.K. Rowling's New TV Series, Because It's Almost Here

Even though it'll be on a new network and will have new judges, the GBBO will still be full of the delightfully dry and innuendo-packed humor we've come to expect from the show. Thank goodness, because those are legit the reasons we all watch.

Plus, one of the new judges is eccentric English comedian and artist Noel Fielding (whose personality is definitely a clash with the calm vibe of GBBO), and you know we're here for that.

To give us all a better idea of what to expect from the new Bake Off, Vogue met the cast and gathered some intel on the first episode of the new season. Probably the most important thing they discovered is that Fielding will enter the tent from a rainbow-striped hot-air balloon, though honestly, we can't think of any other way for him to make his entrance. Still, he's taking his role as a judge seriously, even though he's bringing his weird, whimsical humor to the tent.

More: The Family From That Viral BBC Interview Is Back

"I think everyone expected me to wear a top hat and throw the cakes on the floor, but I do want to be respectful," he said. "The show is still the same, except Mel’s been replaced by a vampire."

Also expect Fielding to get up to some wild antics with another new judge, Sandi Toksvig. "There’s lots of repressed sexual tension," Toksvig said. "Our best moments are off-screen."

While Mel and Sue won't be around this season, Fielding is happy stepping into their role and making a lot of "soggy bottoms" and "firm buns" jokes. Obviously, even with the cast shake-up, everyone on Bake Off knows what's really important.

More: 11 Things to Know About Jodie Whittaker, the First Female Lead on Doctor Who

The new season of Great British Bake Off premieres Aug. 29 on British Channel 4.

18 Celebrities Who Are Unrecognizable in Katy Perry's 'Swish Swish' Video

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Katy Perry's video for her single "Swish Swish" is here, and there's a surprising list of guest stars.

More: Katy Perry Got Therapy After Orlando Bloom's Nude Paddleboarding Pics

There are a lot of rumors flying that this video is Perry's answer to Taylor Swift's "Bad Blood" video in their ongoing feud. Just like Swift did in the "Bad Blood" video, Perry has amassed a bunch of famous faces to join her in the "Swish Swish" video, only she's definitely put together a disjointed, kind of confusing group, as opposed to Swift's squad of high-powered women.

In Perry's video, the guest stars are in costumes and wigs that make many of them unrecognizable, so watching the video is like a "Where's Waldo" of celebrities, which is pretty fun. Here are the 18 we spotted.

Katy Perry swish swish video

Katy Perry swish swish video

More: Guessing Who Katy Perry's Singing About on Every Single One of Her New Songs

On Perry's basketball team, the Tigers, she's joined by Glee's Jenna Ushkowitz, Stranger Things' Gaten Matarazzo, "Backpack Kid" Russell Horning, dancer Dexter Mayfield and comedian Christine Sydelko.

Katy Perry Swish Swish music video
Image: Katy Perry/YouTube

The most easily recognizable celeb on the opposing team, the Sheep, is Game of Thrones' Hafþór Júlíus “Thor” Björnsson.

Katy Perry 'Swish Swish' music video
Image: Katy Perry/YouTube

The Tigers' coach is Saturday Night Live alum Molly Shannon, while the Sheep are coached by Brooklyn Nine-Nine's Terry Crews.

Katy Perry 'Swish Swish' music video
Image: Katy Perry/YouTube

The announcers for the game aren't exactly Hollywood familiar faces, but sports fans will recognize them as legendary announcer Bill Walton and sports journalist Rich Eisen.

Kat
Image: Katy Perry/YouTube

The wrestlers-turned-cheerleaders for the game are basically the entire cast of Netflix's Glow: Sydelle Noel, Britney Young, Kia Stevens, Jackie Tohn and Ellen Wong.

Katy Perry 'Swish Swish' music video
Image: Katy Perry/YouTube

In the audience, you can spot football star Rob Gronkowski...

Katy Perry 'Swish Swish' music video
Image: Katy Perry/YouTube

And competitive eater Joey Chestnut, who is, of course, eating hot dogs.

Katy Perry 'Swish Swish' music video
Image: Katy Perry/YouTube

More: Katy Perry's Doing a Lot of Apologizing, Even to Taylor Swift

That wasn't the only foodie watching from the bleachers. Carter Wilkerson aka "Nugget Guy" is featured in the first 20 seconds laughing at Perry and of course, eating Wendy's chicken nuggets. We're not sure if he's considered a celebrity, but he did beat Ellen DeGeneres' record for most viral tweet, so that's something, right?

Katy Perry 'Swish Swish' music video
Image: Katy Perry/YouTube

Those were all the celebs we were able to spot (minus Nicki Minaj because that one's pretty obvious).

Can you see more? Let us know down in the comments.

How 5 Moms Went Clubbing & Survived — Breast Pumps & All

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At 8:00 a.m. on a Sunday after just four hours of sleep, I woke up to the churning sound of a breast pump. It was attached to my friend Marissa, who was nursing a hangover from our previous night out instead of nursing her 8-month-old daughter. While we were at a hotel in Atlantic City, New Jersey, said baby was back at home, patiently waiting for her mom’s milk to return safely.

Sleep deprivation, of course, is pretty routine for most parents — but it’s almost welcoming when it’s the result of an all-night dance party rather than a night spent running between bed, bathroom and bassinet.

Between me, Marissa and our three other friends, we had nine kids (14 if you count our partners). It took five months of planning for us to make an overnight trip away from our families happen. We nicknamed our group text "Bad Moms '17" and filled it with #TBT photos of our misspent youth — nights out in Manhattan and beyond, all over 10 years ago.

"What are we trying to convince ourselves of?" I wondered. That we still have what it takes to party? That we can, if we try hard enough, stay up past 11:00 p.m.? That we haven't allowed ourselves to settle into the role of mom and nothing more? Maybe, probably, definitely.

A recent study conducted by a British retail chain showed that nearly half of adults dread social events or nights out, preferring to lounge in the comfort of their own homes; I know I fit snugly into this category. But I also believe that once in awhile, I need to step out of my comfort zone, out of the monotony of my routine, and create new memories damn it. At the very least, the future of my #TBT group texts depends on it.

So off I went to Atlantic City. I was amped to be with my friends and excited for what the night had in store — but I'll admit I was equally anxious about my little ones at home.

The Borgata hotel, our favorite in the city, did not disappoint, and our adjoining rooms made us feel like we were living together in a huge apartment — or maybe an insanely fancy dorm. We got ready all together, just like the old days, and headed to an amazing two-hour dinner. But we saved our energy for the main event: the club.

We knew this would be where we'd have to test our fortitude. Would it be awkward? Would we be the oldest ones there? How long would we actually manage to stay? Wouldn't we all end up in bed by midnight as usual? Faced by these pressing questions, we got our drinks and were among the first people to step out onto the dance floor. (The phrase "nothing to lose" seems applicable here.) But within 10 minutes, the entire club had joined us.

"Did we just start the party?" one of my friends asked. The answer was definitely yes.

We continued drinking and dancing until we couldn’t feel our feet anymore. (I'm not kidding; my toes still hurt as I write this, one week later.) The Atlantic City scene brings a mixed crowd, and although we were definitely in the older category, we felt completely comfortable. Men of all different ages wanted to get into our dance circle, but we only gave way to the two nicest guys in the venue — a 25-year-old whom I told to "find a really great girl to match [his] wonderful personality" (I know, such a mom), and a 32-year-old married man who kept asking if he could get us some water. Why yes, thank you.

That night, our collective mindset was definitely different than that of the girls we used to be — the girls in our #TBT group text pictures. We no longer felt the pressure our 20-something selves constantly felt; we weren't looking to meet anyone, drink our faces off or act like we were invincible. We’d done all that in the past. Instead, we were there to have a good time — plain and simple. There was something about no longer being able to do this every weekend (or hardly any weekend) that made us truly appreciate every moment. That night, we partied like rock stars, and it felt really good — almost necessary — to forget about the weight of responsibility we took on when we became parents. We all ended up surprised by how late we stayed out and how hard we danced. Nearly everything had changed in our lives since we went out on the town 10 years ago, but one (very important) thing remained the same: our friendship.

So while I can’t write off the "donation" I made at the roulette table early Sunday morning, I’m definitely writing off those U.K. survey results as a bunch of garbage, however scientific. Don’t let yourself be defined by what you think someone your age is supposed to do. Getting out of your comfort zone, building relationships and making memories isn't just what young adulthood is about; it's what life is about.

Stacy Peterson's Disappearance Is Being Turned Into a True Crime Show

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True crime fans, you are not going to want to miss this one.

More: Leonardo DiCaprio Speaking Italian to the Pope Is Heavenly AF

In just a few days, and just a few months shy of the 10-month-anniversary of her disappearance, Stacy Peterson's story will hit the small screen.

The mother of two, who was 23 at the time, went missing on Oct. 28, 2007. Her disappearance was widely covered by news outlets, especially as her husband, police sergeant Drew Peterson, became the prime suspect. Drew had already been suspected of murder when his third wife, Kathleen Savio, was found dead in a dry bathtub. When Stacy, his fourth wife, went missing, law enforcement turned their eyes to him. He was ultimately found guilty of murdering his third wife and sentenced to 38 years in prison, but not until after Stacy disappeared. Stacy's disappearance remains a mystery to this day.

More: The Pros and Cons of Two Husbands, as Learned From Brother Husbands

The two-part TV special, which is airing in ID, will feature brand new, exclusive interviews with people close to the case, including Stacy's sister, Cassandra Cales, their aunt, Candace Aikin, and other family members, close friends and key people in the case and in the Petersons' lives.

Clips that have been released so far show that even after 10 years, the interviews with Stacy's family will be gut-wrenching.

First look at the new Stacy Peterson doc airing on ID 1

First look at the new Stacy Peterson doc airing on ID 1

More: The Internet Is Very Confused and Unhappy With Casting JonBenét

here was so much mystery surrounding Stacy's disappearance, it's no wonder there's still so much intrigue and speculation coming up on 10 years later. Whether this TV special will shed any new light on the case is still a mystery, though.


Oreo Is Supposedly Launching a Mystery Flavor & We Have Some Thoughts

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Surprises are murky ground in that we never know if what we get will be worth the anticipation. But in the case of a new variety of Oreo, we’re pretty confident the news is going to be good.

MoreKey Lime Pie Oreos are the latest in cookie flavors we're not sure we need

Instagram user @TheJunkFoodAisle, who can always be counted on to share breaking candy news, just posted an alert about upcoming mystery Oreo.

oreos1

oreos1

It’s likely this is the winning flavor from the My Oreo Creation contest, but we do not know if it’s a fan creation flavor or perhaps an older flavor making a special return. During the My Oreo Creation contest, Oreo had tested many potential flavor contenders, from salted caramel to coffee to raspberry Danish and many more. No telling if the mystery flavor being teased was one of these or another entirely.

More: Bacon-fried Oreos are the sweet-and-salty treat that will blow your mind

Oreo can always be counted on for fun new varieties. Just recently they have launched both apple pie and PB&J flavors, so we’re excited to see what might be coming next.

Considering their recent flavor launches have been pretty seasonal, I'm wondering if they have something fall-related in the works. Chocolate-hazelnut maybe? Pecan pie? Cinnamon-caramel?

What do you think the new mystery flavor is? Let us know in the comments below.

Pantone Announces Their Newest Color — a Tribute to Prince

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By: Elly Leavitt

Aside from playing his music, there's now another way you can keep Prince’s memory alive in your home. Pantone just released a customized color in tribute to the icon — a deep (and fitting) shade of purple called Love Symbol #2.

Prince Pantone Purple: Love Symbol #2
Image: Pantone Color Institute

“The color purple was synonymous with who Prince was and always will be. This is an incredible way for his legacy to live on forever,” Troy Carter, entertainment adviser to Prince’s estate, said in a statement.

Prince was known as “The Purple One,” so it's unsurprising that the posthumous color dedication reflects the singer’s most recognizable symbol. The color purple played a key role in the musician’s career, spanning lyric references, wardrobe choices, a custom-made Yamaha purple piano and, of course, the iconic 1984 film and accompanying album, Purple Rain.

Prince Pantone Purple: Love Symbol #2
Image: Pantone Color Institute

The Pantone Color Institute released the color in partnership with Prince’s estate over a year after the singer’s death in April 2016. The bold hue is meant to be as statement-making as Prince himself.

“Love Symbol #2 is emblematic of Prince’s distinctive style,” says Laurie Pressman, vice president of the Pantone Color Institute. “Long associated with the purple family, Love Symbol #2 enables Prince’s unique purple shade to be consistently replicated, and maintain the same iconic status as the man himself.”

Looking for ways to incorporate the iconic shade into your home? Stay tuned — the singer’s estate is currently in talks with various partners about potential product collaborations — which means, we soon may be able to buy Love Symbol #2 furniture.

Originally published on Domino.

8 Things You Must Know About Johnny Depp's Daughter Lily-Rose

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Lily-Rose Depp is making waves of her own. She’s stepping out of the shadows of her two famous parents, Johnny Depp and French actress Vanessa Paradis. She’s proving to the world that she’s a talent in her own right — not only as a model, but also as an actress.

Here are all of the things you need to know about Lily-Rose Depp right now.

More: Lily-Rose Depp's First Mag Cover Criticized for Heavy Use of Makeup

1. Europe it is!

With an American father and a French mother, Depp has been fortunate to have been raised in Los Angeles and France throughout much of her life. She does have a preference, and it isn’t the good old USA.

“There’s something more personable in Europe than there is here," she said in a recent interview with Natalie Portman for CR Fashion Book. "In the States, there’s more of a façade that I see people putting on. For me, the French culture is richer.”

2. Politics

Lily-Rose Depp politics

Lily-Rose Depp politics

Politics is also another reason she would rather live in Europe. She doesn’t seem to be a fan of the current administration in the U.S., because she feels the tumultuous nature of the country right now.

“It’s also easy to prefer Europe given the present state of things. I would have been nicer to America a year ago,” she said to CR Fashion Book. “The way politics is going, it’s hard for me to sit down and point out all the things that I love about America."

Depp did give an Instagram send-off to President Obama and the first lady Michelle Obama when they left office in January.

3. Racy photos

Lily-Rose Depp fashion

Lily-Rose Depp fashion

Johnny Depp’s little girl is no longer little. In CR Fashion Book’s recent edition, the 18-year-old Lily-Rose Depp is proving she’s an adult now with steamy topless photos and sultry stares at the camera. Her fashion career is taking off, and she’s willing to take risks when it comes to sexy shoots like this one.

More: Lily-Rose Depp Clarifies What "Sexually Fluid" Really Means to Her

4. Karl Lagerfeld's muse

Lily-Rose Depp Chanel muse

Lily-Rose Depp Chanel muse

In 2016, the then 16-year-old was named the face of Chanel’s new perfume, No.5 L’Eau. Her role has expanded to fashion icon for the brand, and she’s become a muse to fashion designer Karl Lagerfeld. The duo is often seen together on the runway and on magazine covers.

5. Loyal to family

Lily-Rose Depp daddy's girl-2

Lily-Rose Depp daddy's girl-2

After her dad had a very public breakup with ex-wife Amber Heard, Depp made sure to support him any way she could. During the height of the media frenzy, Depp posted an excerpt from a People magazine article about her father being reportedly exonerated by police in his domestic dispute with Heard. There was no caption to the post. She let the photo speak for itself.

6. Budding movie star

Lily-Rose Depp film

Lily-Rose Depp film

Depp is fluent in English and French, so her acting career has taken her in two directions — artsy French films like La Danseuse (which means "the dancer" in English) and the upcoming Kevin Smith comedy, Moose Jaws. Thanks to longtime family friend Harley Quinn Smith, Kevin Smith’s daughter, this will be their third movie together. Having celebrity friends in the filmmaking biz sure is helpful, but Depp continues to find her own path and prove her talent each time.

More: Things to Know About Lori Loughlin's Look-a-Like Daughter, Olivia Jade

7. Eating disorder

Depp admitted in an October 2016 interview that she suffered from anorexia when she was younger, but it is still a daily fight for her to stay healthy.

"It hurts a lot and depresses me because I have spent a lot of energy fighting the disease. I was much younger when I faced anorexia. It was very difficult to deal with it. All who are familiar with this problem know how difficult it is to return to a normal life," she told French Elle. "I have battled this eating disorder for a long time and am very proud of the results that I have achieved." [Editor's note: Translated from the original article, which was conducted in French.]

8. Flexible joints

Lily-Rose Depp double jointed

Lily-Rose Depp double jointed

You have to see the British Vogue video to believe it, but Depp has very flexible joints. From her fingers that bend backward to her toes that crack on command, she is even seen in the clip giving her neck an adjustment. Perhaps all of those crazy modeling poses help her create a symphony of sounds!

Female Characters From '90s Movies That Still Speak to Us Today

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God, it was good growing up in the '90s. I know that's a trendy thing to say these days, but it's really true. Life was good as a '90s kid. Not just because I had Beanie Babies and Pogs, but because the world was changing for the better. I was watching women in movies who weren't just side pieces for men. I was watching women who were paving their own way in this world, having a blast and making a difference. The women of '90s films were my role models and my inspiration.

More: 14 '90s Movies That Would Make No Sense Now

These are the movies I will show my daughter one day (if and when I have one).

1. Jenny in Forrest Gump (1994)

Oh, Jen-ay. Yes, Forrest was the star of Forrest Gump, but Jenny was not to be overlooked in this movie.

Jenny in 'Forrest Gump'
Image: Giphy

Her struggles were real, and so was her fight. Just as we saw Forrest grow up, we saw Jenny become a woman in all the mess that was the '70s.

forrest gump and jenny scene

forrest gump and jenny scene

2. Kat in 10 Things I Hate About You (1999)

How could we not include 10 Things I Hate About You on this list? Kat (Julia Stiles) was tough and brash, and her journey to love was unique and beautiful.

10 things i hate about you poem

10 things i hate about you poem

The film follows Shakespeare's Taming of the Shrew and, just as that play was impactful for women back in the day, the story still hits home. Don't be broken. Don't be controlled. And don't date men like Joey.

10 Things I Hate About You
Image: Giphy

Always go for Patricks, especially Patricks like Heath Ledger.

Heath Ledger in 10 Things I Hate About You
Image: Giphy

3. Josie in Never Been Kissed (1999)

I'm not Josie Grossy anymore!

Josie Grossy
Image: Giphy

We've all felt like a Josie Grossy at some point in our lives. The key is to overcome it.

Never Been Kissed kiss
Image: 20th Century Fox

4. Buffy in Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1992)

I wanted to be Buffy so badly. So, so badly. She was gorgeous and she kicked ass. It was all I hoped and dreamed of becoming as a youth. And it's everything I strive for today.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Image: Giphy

5. Kathryn, Annette and, yes, even Cecile in Cruel Intentions (1999)

Yes, this movie is a bit overdramatized in its characterizations, but that's so we can all see a bit of ourselves in all these girls — even Kathryn.

Cruel Intentions' Katheryn
Image: Giphy

6. Laney in She's All That (1999)

She's All That is a '90s take on the classic story My Fair Lady. Add in a prom dance-off...

She's All That dance-off
Image: Giphy

...a healthy dose of Freddie Prinze Jr...

She's All That Freddie Prince Jr.
Image: Giphy

...and, most importantly, a girl who is discovering herself in the midst of high school, and you understand why I still watch this movie every time I see it on TV.

More: 15 Kickass Movie Quotes From Strong Female Characters

7. Cher in Clueless (1995)

There is a reason Clueless is one of the most iconic films of the '90s. I feel like this one speaks for itself.

clueless violence in media clip

clueless violence in media clip

8. Jasmine in Aladdin (1992)

As a young girl growing up in Tucson, Arizona, with dreams of the big city, my girl anthem for gettin' outta the palace was Jasmine. She made me excited to explore new places instead of being afraid to leave my comfort zone. And she also taught me not to be so quickly charmed by a man.

Jasmine in Aladdin
Image: Disney

Ain't no carpet ride gonna sell me.

Jasmine in Aladdin
Image: Disney

9. All the ladies in Now and Then (1995)

Now and Then is especially poignant to watch now, as an adult, since it's such a relatable experience of reuniting with childhood friends. From the 12-year-old girls' perspective to their reality 20 years later, this movie deserves a place in every '90s girl's heart.

now and then trailer

now and then trailer

10. Vivian in Pretty Woman (1990)

Of course, a movie that can make us root for a prostitute and her client to find true love is a movie worthy of adding to this list. That scene when Vivian walks into the show to stick it to the saleswoman is still one of my favorite moments in television history.

pretty woman big mistake clip

pretty woman big mistake clip

I think Vivian is still so iconic today because she was a little rough. She wasn't the "perfect woman" by society's standards, and yet, she was the woman we all wanted to be, regardless of her profession.

11. Thelma and Louise in Thelma & Louise (1991)

Yes, yes and yes! Thelma and Louise will always have a place in our hearts, no matter how many decades pass. It shouldn't be just the guys who get to have fun with the action roles. These ladies made it clear that adventures aren't just for men.

thelma and louise trailer

thelma and louise trailer

12. Deloris in Sister Act (1992)

Deloris was my girl when I was little!

Sister Act
Image: Giphy

My best friend had this movie on VHS and I did not, so every sleepover meant Sister Act. Sometimes we even watched it twice, and we always sang along the whole way through. These ladies may have been chaste, but they weren't lacking in any fun.

Sister Act
Image: Giphy

13. All the ladies in The Joy Luck Club (1993)

This movie is especially poignant because it takes a look at mother/daughter relationships and histories that tie families together.

the joy luck club trailer

the joy luck club trailer

More: 21 Female Stereotypes in Movies That We Are So Over

14. Belle in Beauty and the Beast (1991)

I don't really understand why people hate on Disney princesses so much. Belle was my soul sister. She made me realize that intelligence is sexy and that my love for reading was cool.

Belle in Beauty and the Beast
Image: Disney

She taught me to look deeper than the surface when meeting new people and that standing up for what's right, even when it may be unpopular, is worth the fight.

Which '90s movie speaks to you the most still today?

Lady Gaga's Life Is Glamorous But Overwhelmingly Lonely

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You've got to give it to Lady Gaga — as much as she loves a good costume, she isn't afraid to strip down to the basics and bare her soul. Through a string of intriguing teasers on social media, Gaga is giving fans a first look at her upcoming documentary Gaga: Five Foot Two and, with it, a glimpse into the superstar's life.

Some of what is revealed in the teaser snippets is expected. Gaga's existence is often glamorous. In one short video, we see flashbacks to her Super Bowl performance — bedazzled and suspended from stunt wires.

Lady Gaga 2

Lady Gaga 2

More: The World Is So Thirsty for a Lady Gaga-Bradley Cooper Romance

In other clips, however, a sad reality rears its head: Gaga is lonely. Like, really lonely. "I'm alone... every night, and all these people will leave," she says, sobbing, "and I'll be alone. I go from everyone touching me all day and talking at me all day to total silence."

Lady Gaga 1

Lady Gaga 1

It's a heartbreaking truth to hear from an entertainer who gives so much to her fans and who works tirelessly to raise awareness about social issues such as bullying and depression.

More: Lady Gaga's New Starbucks Drinks Caffeinate for a Good Cause

The documentary, which is directed by Emmy-nominated filmmaker Chris Moukarbel, will make its debut on Sept. 22 by way of Netflix. The description? "An intimate and unfettered portrait of a year in the life of Lady Gaga."

As for Gaga, she has no grand plans to watch the intimate examination of herself. Or she's in no hurry, at least, saying, "I have seen a few short clips of the documentary, but I decided not to watch it all the way through or most of it for that matter, because I can't be objective about myself."

Lady Gaga 3

Lady Gaga 3

More: Lady Gaga Will Defend Kesha in Court Against Dr. Luke's Defamation Case

She adds, "You'll see it before I do."

With a premise this enthralling — and clips this haunting — the documentary will likely draw Gaga's many "Little Monsters" in mass for a binge-streaming sesh once the documentary drops. Until then, fans can follow Gaga on social media, where she'll be leaving little digital breadcrumbs using the hashtag #GagaFiveFootTwo.

Amal Clooney's Sister Tala Alamuddin Is So Different But Also Extremely Cool

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Here's yet another reason to envy Amal Alamuddin — her sister, Tala, is apparently the quirky, free-spirited, boho fashionista BFF we all dream of having in our corner. Although Amal has been a mainstay in headlines since she began dating now-husband George Clooney, Tala has remained a bit of a mystery. But thanks to a fashion line review by Vogue, Amal's eccentric sis has landed squarely in the spotlight.

More: George & Amal Clooney & Twins Jet to Milan on Private Plane

Here's the rundown. Tala, a fan of all things funky and fringed, has started her own fashion line aptly dubbed "Totally Tala."

Although the brand is currently only available in Singapore (where Tala lived with her ex-husband), the fact that the website boasts it is working on getting "sharper and brighter" for customers bodes well for international expansion.

Tala Alamuddin 2

Tala Alamuddin 2

In fact, those who see themselves as potential customers can go ahead and sign up for "Totally Tantalising" updates on the brand's launch.

More: Amal Clooney's Still Changing the World from Behind Closed Doors

While it's pretty clear by the way Vogue refers to the line with flowery qualifiers such as "flouncy" and "zany" that Tala's style isn't their cup of tea, the truth is Tala's brand is an injection of care-free fun. If you love color, bold patterns and, of course, fringe, you may be looking at her next favorite celebrity designer.

But regardless of whether or not you're a fan of Tala's fashion, this much is nearly certain — a cursory scroll of this Alamuddin sister's IG feed will likely make you a fan of Tala's vibe.

More: George & Amal Clooney Just Donated $1 Million to Fight Hate

From inspirational quotes by Khalil Gibran bordered in hot pink leopard print to stunning vistas and silly snapshots, Tala makes it clear she believes in squeezing the zest out of every single minute of every single day. Further proof? Her motto is "rise, rock, repeat."

Tala Alamuddin

Tala Alamuddin

So bring on the fringe earrings and animal prints, because we're officially convinced everyone could use a little Tala in their lives.

Even Regina King Is Joining the Cast of This Is Us

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As if fans weren't already writhing in anticipation over the rapidly approaching return of This Is Us, the TV gods keep dropping tiny little morsels of information about Season 2 to leave us longing for more. This week, the anticipation-builder came in the form of finding out that Emmy-winning actress Regina King has signed on to the star-studded series.

More: Sylvester Stallone Cast for This Is Us Season 2, & Yes, It's So Random

Don't get TOO jazzed yet, guys. Naturally, we would all love to see King sharing the screen with the likes of Mandy Moore, Milo Ventimiglia, Sterling K. Brown and, well, all of the amazing This Is Us stars who've perfected the art of making us ugly-cry while clutching a box of tissues every episode.

But, according to Variety, King has come on board for a behind-the-scenes role: director.

Regina King
Image: Apega/WENN

If you're wondering where the American Crime actress finds the time for directorial work with such a successful front-of-the-camera career, you're not alone — we're right there with you wishing King would share her time management sorcery with us.

More: Did Mandy Moore Just Instagram a This Is Us Season 2 Spoiler?

King has been busy padding her resume with plenty of choice director gigs, though. It began in 2013 with an episode of Southland, on which she also starred. Since then, her directing credits have included hit shoes like ABC's Scandal, BET's Being Mary Jane, Showtime's Shameless... the list goes on.

To say she's in-demand seems like an understatement. Yet, King has carved out the time to bring her keen eye to This Is Us, and we are here for it. Word has it she is directing episode 206, which is in pre-production now and will being shooting next week.

More: Chrissy Metz's Message of Self-Love Drowns Out All the Hate

"It's an opportunity to be more involved in telling the story," King told Variety last year about being behind-the-camera. "Having a little more control — that might have something to do with it."

Here's hoping that control steers This Is Us towards a Jack and Rebecca reconciliation or, you know, points us in the direction of finding out how Jack dies. Regardless, we're looking forward to seeing the imprint of King's unique perspective when the tearjerker series returns to TV on Thursday, Sept. 26.


Your Baby’s Low Blood Sugar Could Have Long-Lasting Impacts

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There may be a correlation between a newborn’s low blood sugar and brain difficulties later in life. A study published in JAMA Pediatrics was put together by a group of New Zealand researchers who studied 477 children at different points in their lives and found that those who had low blood sugar as infants were more likely to have brain difficulties at the age of 4-1/2.

More: Your baby’s health and development: What is normal?

“We don’t know fully what this means for learning,” said Chris McKinlay, a neonatologist and head researcher of the study according to MedlinePlus. “We think this may have an effect on educational achievement.”

The study’s findings are especially noteworthy because they equip the parents of newborns with information that will help them better care for their infants.

McKinlay, the study leader, suggests that parents work in unison with their pediatricians to both monitor and follow up with blood sugar levels in infants. Taking steps to stay informed could help minimize any potential brain damage that could be caused by the lower sugar levels.

More: 30 Beautifully Raw Photos That Capture the Reality of Childbirth

According to the National Institutes of Health, infants who are born preterm, below average weight or above average weight are more likely to develop low blood-sugar levels, or hypoglycemia.

By Vivian Nunez

Originally published on HelloFlo.

7 Theories About Cersei's Inevitable Death

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At this point in Game of Thrones, as sick and twisted as it may sound, we're all pretty much just waiting to see how Cersei's gonna go.

I mean, the series has set us up with the idea of her death from the beginning with a prophecy, which she received as a young girl.

More: Game of Thrones' Daenerys & Jon Snow Totally Got Their Eye-Flirt On

It goes like this... "You'll never wed the prince, you'll wed the king. You'll be queen, for a time. Then comes another, younger, more beautiful, to cast you down and take all you hold dear. The king will have 20 children and you will have three. Gold will be their crowns... gold their shrouds. And when your tears have drowned you, the Valonqar shall wrap his hands about your pale white throat and choke the life from you."

cersei's prophecy got video 1

cersei's prophecy got video 1

Every part of this prophecy has come true. Except the last sentence. So how will Cersei go? Here are the most likely theories.

Warning: Do not continue reading unless you've seen the most recent episode of Game of Thrones, Season 7, Episode 6, "Beyond the Wall."

More: Will the HBO Hack Reveal More Walking Dead Easter Eggs in Game of Thrones?

Game of Thrones Cersei and Tyrion
Image: HBO

1. Tyrion will kill her

Cersei has always hated Tyrion. First, she hated him for being born. Their mother died giving birth to him. Then she hated him for the way he looked. Then she hated him because she thought he killed Joffrey. Then he did kill Tywin.

Basically, he and Cersei have some serious beef, and Tyrion's already proven he isn't afraid to turn on his family. The time could come when it is Daenerys or Cersei, and Tyrion will make the right decision.

He also happens to be her little brother (both in age and in the stature she despised), and the word "Valonqar" (used in the prophecy to describe the person who will eventually kill her) means "little brother" in High Valyrian.

Jaime and Cersei in Game of Thrones
Image: HBO

2. Jaime will kill her

Though he and Cersei are twins, Jaime is the younger by minutes, making him her little brother (technically) also. Throughout the past two seasons specifically, we've really seen Jaime's opinion of Cersei shifting, meaning he might be the one to finally take her life.

This theory kinda fell through the cracks for me, though, when we found out Cersei was pregnant with Jaime's child for the fourth time. It would have been a big step for him to kill Cersei to begin with. He is definitely not going to kill her while she is pregnant with their child.

Cersei in Game of Thrones
Image: HBO

3. Her youngest child will grow up & kill her

It could also be a King Arthur situation in which years in the future, the child will come back and take his vengeance against his hateful mother.

The problem with this theory: There's not enough time left in the Game of Thrones timeline — what with the White Walkers so close to the Wall — for the kid to really have time to grow up enough to kill his mother. Spinoff idea?

Emilia Clarke on the GoT set
Image: HBO

4. Daenerys will kill her

Daenerys may use her dragons to take out Cersei once and for all, in which case "Valonqar" could refer to the younger of the dragons between Rhaegal and Drogon. After all, it just says "the Valonqar," not "her Valonqar." R.I.P. Viserion.

Jon Snow in Game of Thrones
Image: HBO

5. Jon Snow will kill her

Now that we know Jon Snow is a legitimate Targaryen, it could be that "Valonqar" refers to the fact that he is not just the youngest son in the Targaryen line but the only one.

Caveat: I don't think Jon would have a personal problem killing Cersei if the opportunity presented itself, but since they are both royalty now, killing Cersei could really cause some issues for him. He has to play the political game, meaning he isn't just going to stab her when he gets the chance.

Joffrey in Game of Thrones
Image: HBO

6. She'll die in childbirth

It could be that she is pregnant with a boy. Therefore, "Valonqar" could refer to Cersei's youngest son (who in this case, will also be her little brother). It could be that Cersei will die in childbirth, though this death seems a little bit too real to go along with a series that makes such a show out of characters' deaths.

Game of Thrones' Cersei
Image: HBO

7. Cersei won't die

So, here's an interesting thought: The prophecy might not refer to Cersei's death at all. It might instead only refer to the death of her children. "...choke the life from you" could refer to an instance to come that causes Cersei to have a miscarriage, therefore, the life, aka the fetus, is expelled from her by force. What if someone poisons her wine to kill her but ends up just killing the child? Now this would be devastating and might be the last straw for Cersei's sanity, in which case I could see her living a long life in a corner muttering to herself about her crown. That sounds worse than death to me.

More: Kit Harington Gives the Ultimate Dragon Impression on the Set of GoT

What do you think will happen to Cersei on Game of Thrones?

Whole Foods Is Going to Offer Serious Discounts for Prime Members

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When Amazon bought Whole Foods, we expected some changes would follow, but it looks like the new Whole Foods will equal big savings — for (most of) us!

More: Trader Joe's latest move will make you say "Whole what?"

Amazon has announced that starting Monday, those who are subscribed to Amazon Prime will score big discounts when shopping at Whole Foods. Even better, we may not have to venture to a store at all. The chain’s private-label brands, like 365 Everyday Value, will now be available for purchase online at Amazon.

"Starting Monday, Whole Foods Market will offer lower prices on a selection of best-selling staples across its stores, with much more to come. Customers will enjoy lower prices on products like Whole Trade bananas, organic avocados, organic large brown eggs, organic responsibly-farmed salmon and tilapia, organic baby kale and baby lettuce, animal-welfare-rated 85% lean ground beef, creamy and crunchy almond butter, organic Gala and Fuji apples, organic rotisserie chicken, 365 Everyday Value organic butter, and much more,” said the company in a release to media.

More: The truth about what's really going in those new Whole Foods 365 stores

Have I mentioned I love this Amazon-Whole Foods thing? Especially when it benefits me.

“We’re determined to make healthy and organic food affordable for everyone,” Jeff Wilke, the executive who runs Amazon’s consumer businesses, said on Thursday in an announcement about the changes. “Everybody should be able to eat Whole Foods Market quality.” 

Amazon has not officially revealed how much they would cut prices at the Whole Foods stores, but they promised there would be further cuts in the future. “I believe what we will see is Amazon and Whole Foods becoming aggressive on price,” said Brittain Ladd, a strategy consultant who previously worked for Amazon on its grocery business, told The New York Times. “I won’t be surprised if some prices are lowered 15 percent to as high as 25 percent in some categories.”

So, uh, if for some crazy reason you aren't a Prime member yet, you may wanna get on that.

Taylor Swift's New Song, 'Look What You Made Me Do,' Announces a New Era

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Taylor Swift is back with a vengeance. Like Arya Stark with her list of names, Swift's "Look What You Made Me Do" is a revenge-themed song, hell-bent on proving that Swift is stronger after being put through the wringer than we could have ever expected. It's been three years since 1989 was released, and Swift is really leaving her old self in the past. Is this the comeback we were hoping for? Or is Swift back to her old tricks?

More: 16 Taylor Swift Lyrics That Work Even Better as Pick-Up Lines

Let's get one thing out of the way right out of the gate: the new sound Swift is working with is so, so good. There's a harder edge here, like what she worked with in "I Knew You Were Trouble." It's dirty, raw and electric — a refreshing sound for one of music's favorite self-styled "good girls." Considering 1989 was a mix of ebullient anthems and soft power pop, "Look What You Made Me Do" is an aural kick in the head, but weirdly, I like it? Yeah, I like it.

Taylor Swift Look What You Made Me Do

Taylor Swift Look What You Made Me Do

The lyrics, on the other hand, leave something to be desired. Swift sounds mad and, moreover, she sounds like she's talking directly to someone who has wronged her. "I don't like your little games / Don't like your tilted stage / The role you made me play / Of the fool / No, I don't like you" feels like Swift is throwing a barb right out of the gate at Kim Kardashian and Kanye West, who famously dragged her through the mud when they revived West's long-simmering feud with Swift. Playing the victim and removing herself from any responsibility in the role she has in the negative attention she receives is something Swift has grappled with for a long time now; acting as if it's her versus the world isn't going to endear her to us when there's room to criticize her actions.

Swift could also be talking about a number of other celebrities to whom she's been linked in a negative way in recent years: Katy Perry, Nicki Minaj, Calvin Harris and Harry Styles are either frenemies or former lovers that Swift, to the public's knowledge, is either on shaky ground with or simply doesn't speak to anymore. Is she taking aim at them, too?

More: Taylor Swift & Her Squad Forgo 4th of July Festivities This Year

It would appear that the song is getting mixed reactions on social media. People are unsure how to feel about Swift's new sound or her lyrics. Some are critiquing her pettiness, and others are celebrating the launch of her new era.

Taylor Swift LWYMMD Tweet 1

Taylor Swift LWYMMD Tweet 1

Taylor Swift LWYMMD Tweet 2

Taylor Swift LWYMMD Tweet 2

One Twitter user's reaction to the song made a low-key amazing connection to 13 Reasons Why and the way tapes were used in the show to illustrate how one person had wronged another.

Taylor Swift LWYMMD Tweet 3

Taylor Swift LWYMMD Tweet 3

Taylor Swift LWYMMD Tweet 4

Taylor Swift LWYMMD Tweet 4

Taylor Swift LWYMMD Tweet 5

Taylor Swift LWYMMD Tweet 5

More: Petty Genius Taylor Swift Rereleased All Her Music on Katy Perry's Big Day

The song has been out since late Wednesday, which means that there's still plenty of time to listen and discuss the layers of "Look What You Made Me Do" ad nauseam. One thing's for certain: if this is the first song from Swift's new album, Reputation, then we should all brace ourselves for what's coming.

8 Things I'll Do Once My Kids Are Back at School

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It’s time to play a little Things to Do Now That the Kids are Back in School bingo!

More: 7 Things Teachers Want You to Know Before You Send Your Kids Back to School

Do you remember an impossibly long time ago in June? Don’t worry. I’m not asking for specifics. (I’m not a sadist.) I mean, do you remember that general feeling of just barely keeping it together for the last month of school? The school lunches that veered closer and closer into "might be getting a concerned call from the school" territory? Those "just make it through for a few more weeks" deals you made with yourself and your kids in an effort to make it to the prize: summer vacation?

As a work-from-home parent, I recognize I have a lot more flexibility than many. If you are parent who takes your kids to day care, Grandma’s house or a variety of day camps all summer, your summer schedule maybe didn’t look so radically different from what you did during the school year. But you can probably still identify with that start-of-summer feeling: freedom.

For a while, it was glorious.

And then, well, summer happened. Two months of constant demands to "take me somewhere," "do something," "change the DVD," "make him stop kicking me." Two months of wondering, how are we out of Popsicles again? Who is this kid in the backyard? Has anyone seen the dog? And why is there so much sand in my foyer?

More: Free Printables to Help You Survive Back-to-School Time

I was exhausted. My work piled up. I needed my kids to go back to school. That brink-of-nervous-breakdown I felt in June went on hiatus for July, but by mid-August, she had reared her ugly head. Making lunches and 7 a.m. wake-up calls started to look like symptoms of a well-ordered life, not the impossible demands they had seemed six short weeks before.

Now, we are back to the daily grind, and I’m not going to lie: A part of me, a large part of me, is very happy to have a few golden hours each day to write — and to pull my house back into the very loose semblance of order I usually maintain.

So join with me, if you will, in a little Things to Do Now the Kids are Back in School bingo. First blackout wins.

1. Chip the layers of Popsicle drips off the floor

Even with two months of practice, I still didn’t get into the habit of having the kids put their shoes on before I handed them the Popsicles, resulting in a game of kids balancing on one foot to put shoes on while waving the quickly melting frozen treats around like demented Harry Potter impressionists. Busting up those layers of drips is going to take a jackhammer, I’m afraid.

2. Choke the vacuum with half a playgrounds’ worth of sand

Honest to God, the sand! I encourage my kids to play at playgrounds covered in wood chips or that rubbery foam stuff made from old tires or whatever. I stand with my arms crossed in the doorway, protecting the foyer like the cruelest Shawshank Redemption prison guard, demanding they empty their shoes before they cross the threshold, but still those little grains of horror make their way in.

3. Make & drink a cup of coffee within one hour

I make a cup then get distracted (probably by mountains of sand and requests for Popsicles) or realize I am not going to get through my coffee, so I put the half-finished mug in the fridge, then forget I did that and make another. Eventually, I find the partially finished cups and microwave them back to life. This time of year is time for a new me, though. I am going to make and drink a cup of coffee within one hour. Are you, too, up for this challenge?

4. Fold laundry while catching up on (violent &/or swear-y) TV shows

Sorry, SpongeBob. Mama still hasn’t gotten through Breaking Bad. [Note: No extra points awarded for putting that laundry away. Just let it live on top of the dresser until the kids grow out of the clothes.]

5. Finally recycle all those nasty, broken-down sandals

They were worn every day, in every weather and on every terrain. Face it. They are never going to last another season, and they shouldn’t be in your house for “just in case.” Call your nearest toxic waste disposal and be free of them.

6. De-stickify any three walls

I just want to lean against a wall and not be stuck there by… I’m not sure what, exactly. Gum? Tree sap? Industrial-grade silicone?

7. Track down what that awful smell is

Was there an animal in here? Is it a “treasure” in someone’s pocket? Maybe it was those sandals?

8. Feel a little lost in the quiet...

... and spare a wistful moment for the things I meant to do this summer. (Maybe even miss my kids a little. I know I'm going to eventually.)

More: Why the Tooth Fairy Only Gave My Kid a Quarter

Bonus square

Happily sip an afternoon glass of wine. Three o’clock is coming!

Are you still enjoying the stability of a new academic year’s routine? For now, I am. I mean, of course I'm still trying to cram way too much into too little time. My house is still a mess, and it is just a different version of overwhelmed that I'm feeling, but still. At least this version of overwhelmed is what I'm used to... until I start craving winter break, that is.

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