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Leonardo DiCaprio Speaking Italian to the Pope is Heavenly AF

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Everyone ready? Are you sitting? Why don’t you just take a seat. Make sure you’re in a quiet space. Are you ready now? Okay. Now watch this video of our sweet, sweet Leonardo DiCaprio speaking fluent Italian to the Pope.

Leo Speaking Italian

Leo Speaking Italian

How are we doing? Is everyone okay? Need to watch it again? That’s fine. Watch as many times as you need. Lord knows, I did.

DiCaprio visited Pope Francis while filming his documentary, Before the Flood, about the dangers of climate change and possible solutions to saving our planet. He met with scientists, activists, and world leaders, which is where the Pope comes in.

More: 28 women Leonardo DiCaprio has dated or has been rumored to have dated

While this is an extremely serious subject, I couldn’t help but be completely swept off my carbon footprints by DiCaprio’s beautifully formed Italian sentence, so much so that I had to look up what he said. (Just in case, you know, it’s something I could fantasize him saying to me.) According to POPSUGAR, he says, “Your Holiness, thank you for granting me this private audience.”

More: Leonardo DiCaprio is schooling Ivanka Trump in the ways of climate change

If that isn’t the most respectful and warm gesture you’ve ever heard, I don’t know what is. (And yes, it’s actually a sentence that should be said to me by all men.) Anyway, the meeting was not only pleasurable for the audience and Leo, but it was the first of its kind in all of history. According to the documentary itself, a sitting Pope has never met with anyone to discuss the modern and scientifically-proven phenomenon of climate change.

So, Leonardo DiCaprio has done it again: simultaneously dazzled us with some kind of deeply personal performance, and broke barriers for religion and science to work together. And that might be the sexiest sentence ever. The next sexiest sentence would be, "Leonardo DiCaprio to star as the next Young Pope." I can dream.


Bachelor's Amanda Stanton Is Officially Ditching Josh & Heading to Paradise

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Looks like Amanda Stanton just couldn’t stay away from those starved-for-love Bachelor Nation Boys, since it’s worked out so well for her thus far… Regardless, she’s back for season 4 of Bachelor in Paradise, and my drama senses are tingling.

More: Our very tasteful cast list for Bachelor In Paradise, because Raven deserves love

Stanton, 27 and mother of two, was recently engaged to Josh Murray, winner of Andi Dorfman’s Bachelorette season and all around bad boy, during the last season of BIP. But the two cut off the engagement in December 2016 after the cameras were turned off.

Amanda and Josh
Image: Giphy

More: 2017 is already oh, so good - a Bachelor In Paradise wedding is coming

“When we were on the show, it felt like I had met the love of my life,” Stanton tells Us Weekly. “There’s a lot of things and situations in the real world you don’t experience while you’re [in Paradise.]”

I could have told her this would happen the moment Josh Murray walked into that beautiful bar at that boujie Mexican resort. I could have told her this would happen the moment she stopped dating Nick Viall on that same season of BIP. I WISH I could have told her to continue dating Nick Viall so we weren’t strapped with one of the most boring Bachelors in The Bachelor history. But that’s for another article.

More: That Bachelor In Paradise couple you never understood finally called it quits

The point is, we knew this would happen, Amanda. And there’s nothing wrong with that! But when 15 of the only people you know on an island off the coast of Mexico tell you that Josh Murray is bad news, maybe listen. And with that, we raise our wine glasses to you, Amanda Stanton, in hopes that you find what you’re looking for on an island of Bach Nation misfits.

Will This AI Robot Replace Your Annual Pap Smear?

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Pap smears probably aren’t on your list of favorite activities, but new technology involving robotics might make the procedure a little easier and more widely available.

Using a technique involving artificial intelligence, Dr. Xiaolei Huang, associate professor of computer science and engineering at Lehigh University, has created an image-based cervical cancer-screening method that has the potential to replace Pap smears and HPV tests. Additionally, this relatively low-cost technique could be used in less developed countries, where 80 percent of cervical cancer deaths occur, according to Huang.

More: The Stigma Around IBS Is Making It More Difficult for Women to Be Treated

There are two systems for completing the screenings, Huang explained. The first takes a single image of the cervix once it has been prepped with an application of diluted vinegar. Then, the computer takes a picture, which doctors will then examine and diagnose.

This works by comparing the image taken of the patient’s cervix with a large number of pictures of cervixes which, when read, are designed to detect the possibly precancerous change and abnormal growth of squamous cells on the surface of the cervix. While this has the potential to increase screenings in low-resource countries, Huang did note that there are some concerns over the overall effectiveness of the system due to reports of poor correlation between the AI recognition and high-grade disease as well as disagreement among experts when assessing visual findings.

The second multimodal system is more applicable in advanced regions like the United States, where there are already well-established screening programs.

More: Stop Everything & Download These Women's Health Podcasts

“The second use for our system is that it’s going to take not just images, but other screening test results,” including other background information on the patient, their age and their pH level, Huang told SheKnows. Because this version takes more factors into account, it produces more accurate results after the first use.

Using a large data set, Huang reported “very high accuracy” with the multimodal system, reaching almost 87 percent sensitivity and 90 percent specificity. The first image-only system achieved 80 percent sensitivity and 90 percent specificity. So far, Huang and her team have not tested the screening methods on clinical data, but everything in the lab is ready for that next step.

“I am very excited about this technology, and we’re moving forward with the proposal for the clinical trial. I really hope the system can be used in practice and in the field,” Huang said.

Unlike traditional Pap smears where doctors remove some cervical tissue from the patient, Huang’s method is based on images only. The most invasive part is applying diluted vinegar to the surface of the cervix and setting up the camera.

“There’s no physical harm to the patient in any way,” Huang said.

MoreTurns Out Period Syncing Is a Menstrual Myth

The idea is getting to the point that this robotic system can use AI to read the biomedical images more accurately than doctors alone.

“I think it’s going to be very useful and it is a very important goal for my career,” Huang said. “I want to develop technologies — especially image-based diagnosis and screening systems — to improve the physical and mental well-being of women and children.”

9 Real-Life Moms Share the Ways They Celebrate Their Kids' Individuality

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There isn't much about parenting that isn't challenging, with the exception of loving your little ones — that part is a breeze, right? Then again, even that comes with its own unique conundrums, like how to foster your child's individuality so they don't get swallowed up by society or sink into a sibling's shadow.

More: You Could Be a Toxic Parent and Not Even Realize It

As the mother of a 6-year-old daughter and 4-year-old son, I'm acutely aware (like all parents are of their kids) of the things that make my kids unique... not only from each other, but from their peers as well. And since peer pressure is perhaps more daunting than ever thanks to the social media age we live in, I'm always worried my sweet babies will be picked apart for the very traits I adore.

Or, just as bad, they'll pick themselves apart because they don't look or sound or act like their sibling or their friends.

So what's a mama to do? To get our fingers on the pulse of what real moms are doing to celebrate their kids' individuality, we took the question to the people — here's their spot-on insight.

1. Offer the freedom to explore their passions

"First of all, I think flexibility in parenting is more important than consistency! Each one of my children is very different — one is quiet and artsy; one loud, strong-willed, demanding and artsy; one who deals with anxieties over things he can't control but is brilliant; and one who is quirky and imaginative. I have to be flexible to their needs. I think allowing children to express themselves in clothing (as long as appropriate) helps them develop their own sense of style. It's also very important to me to develop their God-given talents. Everyone has some sort of talent, and it's so much fun to watch my four children develop in different areas." — Shannon J.

2. Never compare them to anyone else

"I have three kids who share some similarities... and some big differences too. My middle child, a daughter, is a Type A personality all the way. She was involved in every extracurricular in school, was class president, captain of her sports teams, a straight-A student. The works. Her younger sister was always very smart and talented as well, but she was constantly being compared to her big sis by others, and it had the potential to wreak havoc on her self-esteem. At home, I avoided any comparisons and instead focused on making sure she knew how special she was as an individual." — Marilyn R.

3. Give them time to themselves with intention

"With twin girls, individuality is the daily struggle. For the first time this year, one got into a special chorus program and the other got into the honors program for next year. We are trying to teach them to celebrate each other, which is so hard. I constantly tell them they are two different people with different strengths. Try telling that to an 8-year-old! The struggle is real." — Loni E.

4. Let them explore things you don't understand

"My son is a very quirky kid, and he is really into astronomy. Don't get me wrong; I like the planets too, but he is obsessed and talks about the universe constantly. I've always been more of an art and humanities type of person, so sometimes I find myself trying to steer him towards more creative hobbies like painting. When I catch myself, I always remind myself that his big, astronomy-obsessed brain is beautiful! Our differences allow us to learn from each other." — Melissa L.

More: I Cried in Front of My Kid... and That's OK

5. Make quality time a priority

"I have two boys — 9 and 2 — so I think we celebrate them by giving them each special attention, 'just them' time. So for my 9-year-old, we've gotten a sitter and gone to a movie with him so he has special time with Mom and Dad where he picks a movie and he can do 'big boy' stuff without the toddler, and he's the focus. For my 2-year-old, well, he's a 2-year-old! He thinks everything is about celebrating him, ha-ha." — Brooke N.

6. Pay attention to their likes and dislikes

"It seems like the laundry list of things my kids like and dislike changes daily, and I can always tell when I'm not current on those things that it kind of hurts their feelings. If I assume my son still likes the same music as my daughter, I understand why he doesn't feel like I celebrate who he is as an individual. I try very hard to keep my ears and eyes open as well as pick up on cues so that I'm more aware of the distinctive things defining my kids' taste at any given moment. It makes them feel special when they realize I've taken the time to 'get to know' them." — Sam P.

7. Encourage expressions of identity

"When my daughter wanted to wear camouflage rain boots to school practically every day because she had decided she wanted to be in the Army, I let her. When she went through a phase of only wearing pink, I encouraged that too. I always try to let her express who she is as an individual, because it's important for her to feel like she has a voice." — Kelli S.

8. Share your feelings

"Now that my babies are a little older and can understand more, I've promised them (and myself) that I will sit down with them and have the important conversations when they need to be had. I feel like one of the most important of those conversations is the one where I tell my kids how cool they are and how much I admire the human beings they each are individually. I think kids need to hear not just that we love them, but some of the reasons why sometimes." — Sarah P.

9. Introduce them to role models

"When my son was being picked on in school for being a quote-unquote nerd, I felt like I was at my wit's end. Not only did nothing seem to be being done about the bullying, but my son had really started to withdraw emotionally. In order to help him see how great he was, I started getting him books about famous people throughout history who were persecuted for being too smart or too something." — Becky G.

More: How to Raise Grateful Kids — Not Entitled Ones

This post was sponsored by Fruit Shoot®.

Geri Halliwell Apologizes for Leaving The Spice Girls 20 Years Too Late

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I get that her heart's in the right place, but Geri Halliwell apologizing for leaving The Spice Girls is happening a bit too late. I'm not the only '90s kid who was a massive fan of The Spice Girls back in the day and I'm surely not the only one who remembers the keen sting of the news that Halliwell had unceremoniously ghosted The Spice Girls back in 1998.

More: After a Decade Together, Mel B Is Divorcing Husband Stephen Belafonte

Now, on the occasion of the 19th anniversary of this super sad event, a Spice Girls fan account on Twitter took time to compile some news clips marking the very sad occasion. Ugh, why? Nothing like a bit of salt in the old "I will never stop loving The Spice Girls" wound, amirite?

Spice Girls Breakup On Tour Tweet

Spice Girls Breakup On Tour Tweet

The news footage is a sad watch, but not as sad (in a good way) as seeing Halliwell acknowledge the anniversary of that dark day on Twitter. In her classically cheery tone, Halliwell wrote on Twitter, "I'm sorry about that ... everything works out in the end, that's what my mum says!" Inserting a broken heart emoji to express her sadness but capping the tweet with a rainbow emoji. Way to run the gamut of emotions there, girlfriend.

Geri Halliwell Spice Girls Breakup Tweet 1

Geri Halliwell Spice Girls Breakup Tweet 1

More: Mel C & Victoria Beckham Had a Nostalgic Spice Girls Reunion on New Year's Eve

Fans quickly replied to Halliwell, mostly reassuring her that they'd processed their sadness about the entire affair.

Fan Tweet Spice Girls Breakup 1

Fan Tweet Spice Girls Breakup 1

Fan Tweet Spice Girls Breakup 2

Fan Tweet Spice Girls Breakup 2

Fan Tweet Spice Girls Breakup 3

Fan Tweet Spice Girls Breakup 3

More: The Spice Girls Change Their Name & Hint at Possible Reunion Tour

All of this love and forgiveness has left me wondering whether I need to get over my own damn feelings and just accept Halliwell's apology. Then again, I might be less prone to feeling salty if that rumored Spice Girls reunion ever happens — which it should, because The Spice Girls viva forever in my heart and I'd love to see it happen.

Please make the reunion happen, Halliwell, and we can forget about all this breakup nonsense, okay?

11 Things We Bet You Never Knew About Megyn Kelly

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Megyn Kelly made quite a splash during the 2016 presidential campaign, most of it not by her own choice. At the time, Republican candidate Donald Trump made her a part of the headline with a continuous feud sparked by the then-Fox News anchor's coverage of him.

More: Megyn Kelly's New NBC Show Is Basically a Rip-Off of 60 Minutes

By the beginning of 2017, Kelly was making a big move to NBC News, where she was given a heavy presence on the network. Sunday Night with Megyn Kelly premieres June 4, and she is going to have to find a voice beyond her conservative fan-base.

Before her show debuts, learn a few surprising facts about Megan Kelly.

1. Lawyer

Megyn Kelly commencement speech

Megyn Kelly commencement speech

Like many political reporters, Kelly’s foundation is in law. After getting her undergraduate degree in political science at Syracuse University, she went to Albany Law School. She went on to become a corporate litigator for Jones Day before she made the leap to broadcast journalism.

2. Career switch

Megyn Kelly reporter

Megyn Kelly reporter

In her 30s, Kelly was ready for something different that would not only utilize her law skills, but would challenge her on a daily basis. She became a general assignment reporter — under the name Megyn Kendall from her first marriage — for WJLA in Washington, D.C., where her star began to rise. In fact, it was former ABC News reporter and chief White House correspondent Brit Hume who helped her get a meeting with former Fox News chairman Roger Ailes.

More: We Knew Megyn Kelly Had Big Goals, but Damn

3. Sexual harassment

Megyn Kelly book

Megyn Kelly book

It was Roger Ailes who also sexually harassed Kelly on the job according to her New York Times best-selling memoir Settle for More. She wrote that the harassment began in 2005 when Ailes claimed he would help her career “in exchange for sexual favors.

The harassment escalated when he tried to kiss her months later. She allegedly shoved him away and reported him to her supervisor. The harassment stopped and Ailes denied any wrongdoing. He recently died at the age of 77.

4. Working mom

Megyn Kelly kids

Megyn Kelly kids

Megyn Kelly kids-2

Megyn Kelly kids-2

Kelly prides herself on raising her three children — Yardley, Thatcher and Edward — with husband, novelist Doug Brunt, while working hard as a journalist. Part of her decision to leave Fox News was driven by her desire to be home for her kids after school and in the early evenings.

5. Music is important

Megyn Kelly broadway

Megyn Kelly broadway

Richie Sambora

Richie Sambora

Not only does Kelly take guitar lessons, she’s talked a lot about music playing an important role in her life. She’s been seen hanging with musicians like Richie Sambora and attending Broadway musicals like School of Rock. Maybe she will play a tune on her new show?

More: Just stop! A Dress Does Not Make Anyone — Including Megyn Kelly — a Slut

6. Fashionable

Megyn Kelly Met Gala
Image: WENN

Just because her work wardrobe usually involves a sheath dress, don’t ever think Kelly isn’t interested in fashion. She was invited to the Met Gala two years in a row and stepped out in a very fashionable Badgley Mischka dress in 2016 and in Altuzarra this year.

7. Sense of humor

Megyn Kelly alligator

Megyn Kelly alligator

If you follow Kelly’s social media accounts, you will see she has a sense of humor too. She’s a tough interviewer, but she can also take it down for a laugh.

8. Trekkie doppelgänger

Megyn Kelly Star Trek

Megyn Kelly Star Trek

I bet you didn’t know Kelly had a twin out there. It’s Seven of Nine from Star Trek: Voyager played by Jeri Ryan. You see the resemblance, don’t you?

9. Snacks

Skinny Pop

Skinny Pop

Kelly loves a good snack and she’s often seen cracking out the Skinny Pop. That’s a girl who knows how to party!

She also admitted her schedule keeps her from working out a lot, so that's why she's a smart snacker.

"Some things are worth the fat and calories, although I have to watch it like a hawk," Kelly said to People magazine in 2012. "I used to be able to work out, but these days there is literally no time."

10. Kelly Ripa’s co-host

Megyn Kelly and Kelly Ripa

Megyn Kelly and Kelly Ripa

Kelly sat next to Ripa during that yearlong co-host search on Live with Kelly. While she never seemed like a serious candidate in comparison to the men who auditioned, it was a great platform for Kelly to promote her new book.

The women will now go head-to-head in the fall in the 9 a.m. time slot once Kelly's Today Show appearances begin. Will Ryan Seacrest be enough to keep the viewers from straying to NBC?

11. Power woman

Variety Power Women

Variety Power Women

Variety honored Kelly at their annual Power of Women event in 2016. She was surrounded by other intelligent, hard-working and thoughtful women who are making their marks in their respected industries. She was in good company, because Misty Copeland, Julianne Moore and Vera Wang were also honored that year.

Why Your Hair Stops Growing: Experts Explain How to Revive Your Hair

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At one point or another, all of us have looked in the mirror and thought, “Ugh, why the hell won’t my hair grow?” — but can hair really stop growing, or is it all in our inpatient minds?

While it’s true that your hair probably hasn’t stopped growing altogether, there are some factors that can slow the growth or make it seem like the growth has been stunted. We checked in with experts and they gave us this master info as well as some tips on how to help things along.

Are you getting trims often enough?

“Some women try to hang onto as much length as possible by avoiding haircuts, and yet they gain no length,” says Shab Aghajani, Roy Teeluck Salon stylist. “We all have a maximum length our hair can reach according to our current regime. This is where your ends simply begin to break instead of continue to remain strong and healthy. Until you change your existing habits and products used on your hair, nothing will change about your hair. Trim the split ends, use thermal protection and safe thermal tools, and use the right hair mask and treatment to nourish your hair, because clearly you’ve plateaued and nothing will change unless you make some changes yourself.”

More: The Best Hair and Makeup of the 2017 MTV Movie & TV Awards

Genetics

Whether we have pinpointed it or not, we all have an individual hair cycle growth phase in which their hair has potential to reach its longest. This is the maximum length that hair could possibly reach without being cut or damaged.

“This does not mean that hair always stops growing once it reaches a specific length, but once a certain amount of time has passed. The growth phase is largely determined by genetics and typically lasts between two and six years,” says Dr. James C. Marotta, plastic surgeon and hair restoration specialist.

Age

Aging brings with it a host of life complications, not the least of which is our hair. As we get older, chances are our hair is weaker. Years of heat styling and bleaching can build up to create major damage.

“Studies have shown that the biology of hair can change and the growth stage may shorten. This means that hair could begin shedding faster, making it appear thinner and shorter,” says Marotta. “For instance, if you have a five-year anagen (growing) period, a single strand of hair will continue growing for five years before it will go into ‘resting’ phase. However, as we get older, the anagen phase is known to shorten, meaning hair will grow for less time before it enters the resting phase and ultimately sheds to make room for new (short) strands. Additionally, oil production on the scalp often begins to slow down after age 45, so hair may be less hydrated and appear coarser, making it more susceptible to damage and breakage.”

Breakage

Sorry to break it to you all: Your hair may appear not to be growing, but in reality, it could be breaking once it reaches a certain length. Showering, brushing, styling and bleaching hair can all lead to major split ends and breakage. Handling hair too roughly, using uncovered hair elastics and brushing too often can cause dryness and brittleness. Bleaching and chemical processes can cause hair to be overprocessed and lose elasticity and moisture.

“Since hair grows about half an inch each month, if it is continuing to break off at about that same rate, you will see little to no growth,” says Marotta.

See your doctor

When hair appears to stop growing, it can be extremely stressful. “I always recommend a trip to the doctor to rule out allergies, dermatitis, hormonal disorders such as hyperthyroid[ism] and general health issues,” says Stephanie Scuoppo of The Salon and Spa at Saks Fifth Avenue in New York City.

The most common cause of hair thinning in women is a hereditary condition called androgenetic alopecia or female-pattern baldness.

“It is called a ‘pattern’ as this type of hair thinning develops in patterns from the interaction between genetics and hormonal factors when certain sex hormones trigger a particular pattern of permanent hair thinning in genetically susceptible people,” says Dr. Lars Skjøth, founder of the Harklinikken Hair Restoration Clinic. “This results in hair changing its characteristics. It grows slower and becomes drier and more dull/brittle as each strand becomes thinner and thinner.”

Diet

Diet and vitamin deficiencies can spell serious hair drama.

“It is important to have the proper levels of ferritin, zinc and vitamin B-12 to maintain desirable hair length and quality,” says Marotta. “Adequate iron and protein are necessary for hair strength and to prevent brittleness and breakage. A lack of ferritin can cause hair to move out of its growing phase and to shed too quickly. An overactive or underactive thyroid has also been shown to have an effect on hair growth.”

Skin conditions of the scalp

It's a more serious and rare issue, but an unhealthy scalp can cause inflammation that makes it difficult for hair to grow. Skin conditions that lead to hair loss and lack of growth include seborrheic dermatitis (dandruff), psoriasis and fungal infections such as ringworm.

Change your hair routine

Stack the odds in your favor by switching up your hair care for the better. Decrease the chemicals and heat. Try to not make it worse by styling, coloring or bleaching and go easy on the hair-dryer and flat iron.

More: Here’s Exactly How to Curl Your Hair Like a Pro (3 Easy Steps)

Originally posted on StyleCaster.

Venus Williams May Have Just Revealed the Sex of Serena's Baby

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Ah, family. You can't really expect them to keep any secrets when it comes to a baby on the way — and we're thinking Venus Williams just spilled the beans on the sex of little sister Serena Williams' child.

It was an interview with Eurosport, and Venus Williams had just been asked what Serena's child will call her. Venus said, "She's going to call me 'favorite aunt.'" Say what?!

Venus

Venus

Oops! Eurosport, 15. Venus Williams, love.

MoreSerena Williams says she's waiting 'til delivery to learn her baby's sex

Serena Williams' fans have been madly searching for any clues about whether or not she's having a boy or a girl, and it looks like Venus unwittingly lobbed a big one into the frenzied crowd of the internet.

Venus

Venus

Hopefully, Serena will forgive her big sis and nobody will wind up with a tennis racket smashed over their head.

More: Serena Williams is pregnant — but maybe told us all about it by mistake

That wasn't all: Venus also confided to Eurosport that she and their other sisters, Isha and Lyndrea, all have fingers crossed that the new baby will have one of their names:

"We’re all like, 'Baby V, baby Lyn, baby Isha.' We all want the baby to be named after us."

Ohhhhhhh, sisters! (We're picturing Serena in serious #FacePalm mode.)

Serena had said she was keeping the baby's sex a surprise for the actual delivery, so maybe Venus is just speculating aloud that it might be a girl. It is a pretty girl-heavy family, after all.

Have we heard anything about Venus' words from Serena or her husband-to-be Alexis Ohanian confirming or denying the "it's a girl" theory? That would be a no.

Maybe it's all just an elaborate ruse to keep us guessing... but our bet is that Auntie Venus just let the cat out of the bag.


7th Grader Delivers Stunning Slam Poem About the Dangers of Chasing Popularity

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Seventh grade is one of Dante's levels of hell. Most of us would never, ever go back and do it over again, not even for a mountain of cold, hard cash. We shudder just thinking about it.

And some things, it seems, never change. (Although we sure wish they would.)

More: Social media is causing depression among teen girls

Olivia Vella, a seventh-grader at Queen Creek Middle School in Arizona, delivered a stunning six-minute slam poem about the brutal realities of being a teen girl in today's society. Her monologue has taken the internet by storm with its themes of bullying, popularity, self-esteem, self-harm and more.

girl speech

girl speech

Queen Creek Middle School posted the assignment and its purpose on its Facebook page.

"Students selected a topic they feel passionately about and were asked to compose their own slam poems pertaining to the topic. Students had been working on personal stories, memoirs and other creative writing techniques. This writing class in particular does a great deal of public speaking and collaboration, so their final was to compose and ultimately present their material."

We're in awe of Olivia's poise and passion — like the other 171,000 people who have viewed her presentation on Facebook so far. And that number continues to climb.

More: What your teen daughter desperately wants you to know

She didn't mince her words.

"Pick out an outfit that will fit in with the latest trends and won't make you the laughing stock of the school. More than you already are," she said. "Put on some makeup so you can actually show your face in public so you can be a little bit pretty."

Olivia has struggled with wanting to be part of the "popular" crowd — and feeling like an outsider.

Olivia's mother, Molly Vella, said, "[Olivia] came to me one day and said, 'Mom, next year I just want to be dumb. Because I want to be like those other girls, I want them to like me.' And it broke my heart."

More: Every teen girl should read Caitlin Moran's open letter

But it sounds like Olivia has come to terms with the futility of trying to fit in and is owning who she really is.

"Popular isn't always a good thing," she said in the poem. "You tell yourself, I just want people to like me. I just want to be accepted. But skipping meals and marking up your wrist isn't going to fix that."

One commenter wrote, "That was so gut-wrenching and yet beautiful and inspiring at the same time. Extremely powerful words and how it was all memorized without a flaw or stammer or 'um.' I'm in awe!... She and all these other middle school kids are definitely enough and so very great as they are."

"Wow! Some amazing youth are out there," another commenter said. "Hopefully her peers are listening and really hear her message."

Olivia was moved by the immensely positive feedback.

"People I don't even know would say, 'Hey, Olivia, I really liked your monologue and I feel the exact same way.' And it was really eye-opening because I, for most of the time, thought I was the only one that felt this way and I was crazy for feeling it," she told local CBS affiliate KPHO.

Olivia said she's just hoping that some kids who are struggling will take her message to heart — and feel less alone.

She said, "Society is wrong. You are loved. You are precious. You are beautiful. You are talented. You are capable. You are deserving of respect. You can eat that meal. You are one in 7 billion. And most of all, you are good enough."

Well done, Olivia. We most certainly agree — and you are far better than "good enough." Wish we could have sat with you in the middle school lunchroom every day.

Forget Fidget Spinners: Balloons Are the Cool Parents' Best Life Hack

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School is just about out for the summer, parent friends — meaning the days are about to get verrrrry long.

Whether you're staying home this season or attempting interminable road trips with perpetually bored kids, you're probably hankering for a few new tricks up your sleeve to keep them entertained, right?

More: 9 parenting hacks to make those crazy days a little easier

We had to laugh at the beautiful simplicity of a parenting hack suggested by one Reddit user, orchid_breeder. This parent posted to Reddit on May 31 with the suggestion that all parents should be traveling with a pocket full of balloons. (Like clowns. Because, let's face it, that's kind of what we are.) 

From Reddit's Balloon Whisperer to all of you summer-dreading parents out there:

balloon hack

balloon hack

Hmmm. It is true they take up zero space, but we're not so sure about the "great for airports" part. We're thinking fellow passengers might not appreciate the commotion of exploding balloon animals and the subsequent wailing toddlers.

Also: balloons popping in a packed Toyota Corolla on an 18-hour trip to Grandma's house? Might set your teeth on edge a bit.

More: 16 parent hacks you totally need in your life

But for hotel rooms and at home and for stops outside during that road trip to Grammy's? Very intriguing. We could see our kids going for this. Thus far in life, we've only have balloons on hand for birthday parties. But maybe they're more of a staple item?

Excuse us while we go order that book on how to make balloon animals. We've got some serious pre-summer reading to do.

15 Ways Being a Mom Is Like Being Claire Underwood

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If you’re a House of Cards fan, you'll still be talking about the premiere of Season 5 on May 30. The Netflix spectacular is an amusing, honest look at politics from the inside — the side that’s reserved for the powerbrokers of our country.

The show puts a spotlight on the relationship between President Frank Underwood (Kevin Spacey) and his first lady, Claire Underwood (Robin Wright). The developing plot along with its characters and their storylines is just as much about marriage, power struggles and mutual respect as it is about politics. Claire Underwood, the queen bee of the series, is a protagonist and a leader. Being a mom, a wife and a matriarch is no different — right?

Here’s how being a mom is like being Claire Underwood.

More: What's the rush? Your 30s are just fine for baby-making

1. You’re always lobbying for something

Moms have some pretty strong beliefs when it comes to what is best for their family. Put a mom up against a lawyer in a PTA meeting — it's no contest.

2. Every now and then you just need a few drags of a cigarette

You know… a "cigarette."

3. In a previous life, you were a whimsical princess

You were also the girl who would dance on bars in protest of last call, but who really even has time to think about what life was like before kids?

4. Your own clean water initiative has more to do with flushing toilets

Your younger kids and your one older (hubby, we’re talking to you!) have an on-again, off-again relationship with the flusher handle.

5. You know better than to tell your husband about your previous relationships

Telling him about past indiscretions only takes away from that whimsical princess fantasy we discussed earlier.

6. Your attempts to be pragmatic don't always succeed

While you try to go into every family situation with astute pragmatism, you simply cannot be held accountable for what happens when your caffeine kick wears off.

7. Society may see you as first lady, but let’s be honest: at home, you’re nothing short of president.

Despite ongoing male and female equality issues in our country, it’s no secret who rules the roost at home.

More: 12 times Chrissy Teigen was #MomGoals

8. You’ve got the whole first lady gig on lock

Claire and Frank work because of their mutual respect. You show the same for your husband and you’re an incredible leader in the family. Life just wouldn’t work without you.

9. You’ve perfected the role of 'ice-queen wife'

Specifically, when your husband claims he didn’t hear the baby crying in the middle of the night. You have a doctorate degree in throwing shade and have no problem putting that diploma to good use. A husband is a partner, and when he’s not being a good partner, you throw that cold shoulder his way.

10. You manipulate situations when you have to

You also bribe when necessary and feel remorse almost never. A mama’s gotta do what a mama’s gotta do. "Oh, you want to watch TV before bed? Come over here and help me with this laundry first, OK? Thanks."

11. You demand equality in your household

While parenthood isn’t a job you get paid for, you believe you and your partner should have shared responsibilities when it comes to the house and the children. (None of this 80 cents on the dollar crap.)

12. You're constantly vying for attention with the media

When you address the nation (ahem, your children), you're competing against enemy No. 1 (ahem, those iPads). "Guys! Here I am! Pay attention to me for one god damn minute."

13. You’re like a duck above water

Cool, calm and collected on the surface, your feet are paddling so fast underneath trying to keep your shit together. (This is a literal House of Cards reference here, people. At any moment, those cards can collapse. You’re acutely aware of this.)

14. The only time you have for yourself is late at night

You contemplate going for a jog like Claire Underwood would, but that ice cream in the freezer won’t stop shouting your name out loud.

15. Every day brings new challenges

But you never give up. You persevere, not only because that’s the type of person you are, but because that’s the type of example you want to set for your children.

More: How to raise grateful kids — not entitled ones

Here's What Happened to That Body-Shaming Snow White Ad

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Mirror, mirror on the wall: What’s today’s contribution to the never-ending garbage parade of body-shaming women? A poster for an animated kids’ movie, you say? Yup, sounds about right.

Promotions for a new adaptation of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs called Red Shoes & the 7 Dwarfs have not been sitting well with celebrities like Tess Holliday or the film’s lead voice actor Chloë Grace Moretz — and for good reason.

Let’s take a look:

SW

SW

So to recap, a tall, willowy, traditional-looking Snow White is pictured next to a much shorter, more voluptuous version of the fairy tale character and reads: “What if Snow White was no longer beautiful and the 7 Dwarfs not so short?”

MoreSarah Hyland Responds to Concerns Over Weight Loss

Now this is some next-level body shaming because not only does it go after Snow White’s weight, but it also ties her beauty to her height – or rather, lack thereof.

Full disclosure: At first glimpse, I was immediately drawn to the short, stout Snow White, with her crimson A-line skirt and neatly tucked-in white square-neck shirt and was tickled to see an animated princess who looked and dressed like me (down to the fact that she was holding her matching high heels rather than wearing them). How realistic and progressive!

MoreKirsten Dunst Shuts Down Sofia Coppola's Request That She Lose Weight for a Movie

But then I read the copy and saw that this version of Snow White was deemed “no longer beautiful.” OK, now that’s the attitude toward women’s bodies I know and loathe.

It’s bad enough that the whole story of Snow White centers on her unwilling participation in a one-sided beauty contest with a disgruntled royal followed by a stint as the equivalent of a fraternity housekeeper concluding with some dude interrupting her nap with a nonconsensual kiss.

Snow White has been through enough without being fat- and short-shamed by a movie poster posing the question of what would happen if she were no longer beautiful. Well, I’ll tell you what would happen. She’d be able to live her damn life without having to take care of seven men with Napoleon complexes or worrying about poisoned produce.

MoreWhat Chelsea Clinton Wants Every Young Girl to Know

Sujin Hwang, one of the film’s producers, told CNN that the advertising campaign is “being terminated” and that it had the “opposite effect from that which was intended.”

Great, but somehow I have a hard time believing that the original intent was to bolster the confidence of short, curvy women.

7 Places Where You Can Get Free Doughnuts Tomorrow

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National Doughnut Day is this Friday, June 2, and the holiday has pretty sweet beginnings. It was started by the Salvation Army in 1938 to honor women who provided WWII soldiers with home-cooked meals, clothing repairs and, of course, doughnuts.

So when you bite into your decadent (free!) doughnut, remember those brave soldiers and caring women. Here are 10 spots around the country where you can win big — or at least score a sugar high — on National Doughnut Day.

Cumberland Farms: Buy any cup of coffee (perfect for sipping with your doughnut) or a fountain drink from 5 a.m. to 10 a.m. on Friday, and you'll score a free doughnut. The offer is valid in locations throughout the Northeast and Florida.

Duck DonutsGet a free doughnut with any purchase on Friday. You'll also score a coupon good for a half-dozen free doughnuts with the purchase of a half-dozen, valid through Aug. 31.

Dunkin' Donuts: Buy any beverage on Friday, June 2, and you'll get a choice of any free classic doughnut. Classic varieties include vanilla cake batter, glazed, strawberry frosted with rainbow sprinkles, chocolate frosted with rainbow sprinkles, vanilla frosted with rainbow sprinkles, glazed chocolate cake, Boston Kreme, jelly and old-fashioned.

More15 Things Homer Simpson taught us about doughnuts

Entenmann’s: Because we should not have to celebrate doughnuts just one day a year, enter to win free Entenmann’s doughnuts for a full year through July 15. Details on this webpage.

Fractured Prune Doughnuts: Customers get one free OC Sand doughnut at participating stores. Click here for more info.

Giant: While you are stocking up on groceries, purchase any single doughnut for 50 percent off.

Krispy Kreme DoughnutsOptions are everything. Here, everyone is welcome to pick any style of doughnut — free of charge, no purchase required — on Friday. Enjoy!

LaMar’s Donuts: Get a free doughnut with a hole at all 25 locations. Print out and present this coupon for your free doughnut. In select cities, you can also get a free LaMar’s travel mug.

Postmates: Ordering delivery? Use coupon code “wtrq” to get a $10 credit plus six free doughnuts and free delivery.

Safeway: Get a dozen jumbo doughnuts for $5.

MoreAustralian bakers come together to create the most epic-looking doughnuts

Jennifer Garner Addresses Unauthorized Divorce BS for the Record

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Updated June 1, 2017, 8:40 a.m. PT: Since Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck are in the midst of a split, it's only natural that rumors are going to fly about their ongoing divorce. Garner is not here for it, choosing to post a truthful takedown on her Facebook about a recent People magazine cover story on her divorce from Affleck and for getting up in her personal biz.

"It has been brought to my attention that there is a People magazine cover and article out today that appear to be coming from me," Garner wrote. "It isn't unusual for me to receive calls from loved ones thinking I forgot to tell them I am pregnant--with twins!--(Geez Louise), but those are so ridiculous they're easy to ignore."

She continued, "This isn't a tragedy by any measure, but it does affect me and my family and so, before my mom's garden club lights up her phone, I wanted to set the record straight. I did not pose for this cover. I did not participate in or authorize this article. While we are here, for what it's worth: I have three wonderful kids and my family is complete."

Shots fired.

People released a statement after Garner spoke out defending its story. The statement read, "PEOPLE covers Hollywood stars beloved by our audience, and our story on Jennifer Garner is fair and truthful. To be clear, it does not include rumors and does not say she's pregnant. We wish her well."

Considering our deep and long-held love for Garner and Affleck, we know whose side we're on.

Original story:

Can we all just take a moment to admire the incredibly great way Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner have handled their divorce?

More: Ben Affleck Is Moving On and Moving Out

We're heartbroken that they're splitting up, but their breakup has been so amicable and dignified, and they've stayed so supportive of one another from day one. They really have set the bar high for not just celeb breakups, but all breakups.

And they're still at it. In a recent interview about his Red Nose Day involvement, Affleck was asked if he'd ever want to direct a female-led film. Being the total sweetheart that he is, he turned his answer into the sweetest compliment for his ex.

"I would love to; are you kidding me?" he answered. "I think that would be great. I’ve often said that I want to direct a movie that Jennifer was in because I think she’s so great and she could do something really cool."

More: This Photo of Jason Momoa, Ben Affleck & Henry Cavill Says It All

Unfortunately, that likely won't happen any time soon. Both Affleck and Garner are pretty devoted to raising their kids, and if they worked on the same movie, neither of them would be home with the brood.

"The problem that gets in the way is that one of us has to be looking after the kids at home," Affleck explained.

No worries, though. It's only a little over a decade before all the Affleck-Garner kids head off to college.

"Yeah! I’ve got another however many years until college," Affleck said. "We’re lockin’ it down for the next 13 years."

More: Ben Affleck Is Divorcing Jennifer Garner, & Yes, This Time They're Serious

In the meantime, Affleck is starring as Batman in Justice League, due out this fall, and Garner is currently starring in indie drama Wakefield, which drops this week.

Brad Pitt's Helping Chris Cornell's Kids Heal After Their Father's Death

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It's a really tough time for Chris Cornell's family following his sudden, unexpected death by suicide, and his celeb friends are stepping up to do what they can to help.

More: Chris Cornell's Widow Apologizes In Tearful Goodbye Letter

One of those is Brad Pitt, who was spotted taking Cornell's two kids, 12-year-old Toni and 11-year-old Christopher, to Universal Studios Hollywood for a little bit of fun this week.

Pitt is a pretty recognizable guy, so visitors to the park definitely noticed him walking around with the kids. One onlooker said Pitt interacted with Cornell's kids like he was a "godfather or uncle" to them.

"Brad definitely seemed like he was there for the kids to have a good time," the witness told E! News. "He was very accommodating to them and thankful to everybody at each attraction for helping them."

More: Chris Cornell's Widow Says His Final Days Were Spent With His Family

The observant onlooker added that Christopher wanted to spend time at The Wizarding World of Harry Potter, Universal Studios Hollywood's newest attraction, and that he even picked out a custom wand from Ollivander's shop.

"Brad was gracious and polite, but seemed intent on making sure the kids were happy," the insider said. "They all seemed comfortable together, like Brad was effectively taking their mind off of things for a few hours with a fun day at the park."

More: These 40 Celebrities Have Died in 2017

Pitt was a longtime friend of Cornell's, and he also attended the former Soundgarden singer's funeral last week. Cornell's death was ruled to be a suicide, but his family has been speaking out ever since, saying he would not have taken his own life.


We Can’t Believe We Have to Say This, but Don’t Put Wasp Nest in Your Vagina

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OK, vagina-havers, listen up: There are only a handful of approved objects and substances safe to stick in there, so you’re best off ignoring the latest vag snake oil du jour and getting on with your life. (Having said that, I could totally see Gwyneth Paltrow peddling actual snake oil on Goop as a natural lubricant.)

The most recent addition to the family of completely useless and sometimes dangerous vagina products — which include vaginal steaming, labia lipstick and jade eggs — comes in the form of ground-up wasp nests. This all-natural treatment allegedly rejuvenates and tightens you down there using the healing powers of tree tumors caused by wasp nests, known by the even less appealing name of “oak galls.”

More: An Approved List of Things That Can Go in Your Vagina (You're Welcome)

If you’re not sufficiently grossed out yet, allow me to elaborate. Oak galls are formed when a wasp lays eggs in the leaf buds of a tree, providing a place for the larva to develop. And at some stage, some genius decided to grind these deformities up and pop them in a vagina to see what happened.

According to gynecologist Dr. Jen Gunter, who frequently takes down Paltrow’s asinine products and methods on her blog, oak galls are not only pointless, but they have the potential to harm you. One of the goals of this “treatment” is to achieve tightening and drying of the vagina. Wait, drying? Don’t we have an entire industry of lube manufacturers dedicated to creating wet vaginas? This exists for a reason. Intentionally drying vaginal mucosa can cause abrasions and pain during sex, which could even increase the risk of HIV transmission.

MoreFinally — Lipstick for Your Labia That Glues You Shut During Your Period

As Gunter rightly points out, even though most women won’t be rushing onto Etsy to order this product (hint: if you have to order a medicinal product from an arts and crafts website, don't), the fact that it’s touting dry and tight vaginas as the ideal sets this unattainable and harmful standard for everyone.

MoreMeet the Future of Egg Freezing

10 Pieces of Pregnancy Advice I'm Glad I Ignored

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Whether they want to hear it or not, everyone has plenty of advice for pregnant women. As soon as that bump appears, the floodgates open and everyone puts their two cents' worth in. I’ve certainly dealt with some, um, interesting pregnancy advice over the years.

More: 10 surefire ways to piss off a pregnant woman

1. "Make sure you eat for two"

Nothing bothered me more than being told to eat for two. This was also the most frequent piece of advice I was given. If I had taken this at face value, I would have gained twice the amount of weight during my pregnancy and been incredibly unhealthy. Thanks, but no thanks. I stuck to what my midwife told me about increasing my diet by 100 calories a day during the first trimester, 300 per day during the second trimester and 500 per day during the third trimester.

2. "Don’t raise your arms above your head"

This one came from my dear grandmother during my first pregnancy. The old belief is that if you raise your hands above your head during your pregnancy, the umbilical cord will become tangled, which can lead to miscarriage. While you should obviously be careful about lifting objects that are too heavy while you’re pregnant, umbilical cord entanglement is caused by fetal movement — not Mama balancing in Tree pose.

3. "Stop working out"

Speaking of tree pose, my husband couldn’t get over the fact that I worked out almost my entire pregnancy (up to 32 weeks). I’ve always kept a regular fitness routine and worked hard to drop some weight even before I got pregnant through running and yoga and continued well into my pregnancy. It made me feel amazing and it took a trip to my midwife with my husband for her to explain to him that I wasn’t doing anything wrong and was actually making a really healthy choice.

4. "Don’t use a midwife"

My poor dad couldn’t have been more confused by his introduction to the term "midwife" at the beginning of my second pregnancy. He didn’t think it was safe to use anyone other than an OB-GYN since that's what he and my mother did — as well as everyone else they knew. I ended up having the most amazing midwife, and I'm still in touch with her now. Sorry, Dad... you were so wrong on this one.

5. "Don’t even think about getting your hair colored"

During my first pregnancy, when I was six months pregnant, I visited my husband’s extended family over Fourth of July weekend. It was my first time meeting them and I wasn’t exactly accepted with open arms. Their biggest complaint: the fact that I had dyed my hair red. Having worked in a hair salon, I was very much in aware of when you can get your hair colored during pregnancy (after the first trimester, FYI). When you’re pregnant and not feeling your best, having your hair cut and colored can make you feel magical.

6. "Google it!"

My sister (a mom of three) was notorious for insisting that I Googled everything I had questions about during my pregnancy. The thing is, when you Google a question, you get the most extreme results — a few million of them. I found myself going deeper and deeper into a dark hole of pregnancy discussion forums and closing the computer feeling more frazzled than when I opened it up. Nope, I wasn’t going to do that to myself. I decided early on that texting my midwife with questions was the best option, and it really helped keep me as stress-free as possible.

More: C-section mom has had it with folks who think it's the easy option

7. "Don’t stand near an operating microwave"

This was a mother-in-law comment that I heard time and time again when I was pregnant with my first child. She believed all of these old wives tales so intensely that my smile and nod routine got old really quick. It’s easy to get sucked up into this one since we all know that microwaves do indeed produce radiation. While it’s always a good idea to play it safe, standing near a microwave while pregnant will not be a contributing factor to any type of miscarriage, infection or autism in your baby.

8. "It took nine months to put on the weight, it will take nine months for it to come off"

Dealing with losing the baby weight after my second pregnancy was something I often openly fretted about to family and friends. Every single person, without fail, would casually say, "it took nine months to put it on, it will take nine for it to come off." It was practically a mantra. This was something I couldn’t believe and was trying to be as realistic with myself as possible. And just as I suspected — it’s taken more than those nine months to come off. Crisis averted with that one.

9. "Just relax"

I heard this from everyone my entire pregnancy, and relaxing couldn’t have been further from what I was capable of doing the entire 40 weeks. You know the feelings: stress, exhaustion, restlessness... and having a to-do list that’s a mile long definitely doesn't help. I wish someone had just told me the truth: "Don’t even bother trying to relax because your mind won’t slow down. Do what you need to do to put yourself at ease." Instead, I would take a deep breath and tell myself that.

10. "Don’t have anymore kids"

This little nugget of advice came from my mom, a mom of four herself. I totally get where she was coming from — I can’t even imagine having four children — but she would always look at me and say, "one and done," after our first baby. My husband and I knew we wanted one more baby to complete our crew, and when the time was right, we did just that. Whether you want one kid of 16, it's nobody else's business.

Hillary Clinton's #Covfefe Burn Hurts So Good

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The election may be long over, but Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump are far from done going toe-to-toe.

More: Kathy Griffin Officially Got Herself Fired From CNN for Graphic Trump Photo

They faced off in what may have been one of America's most deeply divisive elections, and there are clearly still some bitter feelings between them. At least, that's one interpretation of the little Twitter spat they got into this week over Trump's recent "covfefe" blunder on Twitter.

"Crooked Hillary Clinton now blames everybody but herself, refuses to say she was a terrible candidate. Hits Facebook & even Dems & DNC," Trump tweeted on Wednesday, responding to comments made by Clinton at Recode’s 2017 Code Conference in Rancho Palos Verdes, California.

Donald Trump tweet against Hillary Clinton 1

Donald Trump tweet against Hillary Clinton 1

More: Kit Harington Says What We're All Thinking About Donald Trump

Clinton fired right back.

"People in covfefe houses shouldn’t throw covfefe," she wrote.

Donald Trump tweet against Hillary Clinton 2

Donald Trump tweet against Hillary Clinton 2

Clinton's scathing tweet was clearly a reference to the now-infamous "covfefe" tweet Trump sent out earlier in the week. Early Wednesday morning, he wrote the tweet which contained a glaring typo: "Despite the constant negative press covfefe." Trump later tried to make fun of his typo by joking about whether anyone knew what "covfefe" meant. Oh brother.

The internet pretty much lost its collective mind over the tweet, because let's be honest, about 98 percent of American political discourse takes place on Twitter now. Trump's tweet was either comedic gold or an actual policy statement, but no one could really tell which. While Clinton's reference to that silliness was quick and clever, we can't help but wonder why she can't take the high road and act like a real politician, which would mean taking petty disagreements, I don't know, anywhere except social media?

But this is the world we live in now. We expect to be able to vote by tweet by the 2018 midterms.

More: Here Are President Trump's Plans for Your Free Birth Control

Politics today, ladies and gentlemen. Covfefe to all, and to all a covfefe.

Megyn Kelly Made Her Much Anticipated NBC Debut From Russia This Morning

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Her first day and Megyn Kelly is already making a splash at NBC.

More: Megyn Kelly's New NBC Show Is Basically a Rip-off of 60 Minutes

The former Fox News host made her debut on the Today show Thursday by broadcasting from a pretty controversial location: St. Petersburg, Russia, where she's attending the International Economic Forum.

Longtime NBC anchor Matt Lauer introduced Kelly on her first day, noting from his desk in New York City, "NBC’s Megyn Kelly is in St. Petersburg, where she will speak with Mr. [Vladimir] Putin, and we should note this is her first appearance as an NBC News anchor, so we say good morning and welcome. Great to have you here, Megyn!"

The relationship between the U.S. and Russia is particularly contentious now, in light of a federal investigation into Russia's ties to the Trump campaign. That was the first thing Kelly discussed as an official member of the NBC team.

More: We Knew Megyn Kelly Had Big Goals, but Damn

"As part of his forum, President Putin will be taking part in a panel, and I am lucky enough to have been asked to moderate that," she said. "This will be the first time that he’s actually taking questions from an American journalist since the special council was appointed in the United States to look into the allegations of Russian interference in the election."

After the forum, Kelly will have a one-on-one interview with Putin, which will air during the debut of her Sunday night news show on NBC.

Megyn Kelly will interview Vladimir Putin

Megyn Kelly will interview Vladimir Putin

"I’ll get to ask him directly about these allegations of meddling and the prospect of our two countries working together and beyond," Kelly said. "So that ought to be fun."

More: Ryan Seacrest Is at War With Megyn Kelly on Morning TV Now

Considering all the drama surrounding Kelly's move from Fox to NBC, we expected she'd make a splash, but this is on a whole new level. BRB, setting the DVR for Sunday.

What I Learned From Having Sex With a Woman for the First Time

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About a year ago, I had sex with a woman for the first time. Before that night, I had simply kissed and pined after feminine bodies I was attracted to. My embarrassment over my queerness was one of the reasons I didn’t allow myself to act or date according to my sexual orientation... until last year.

I was raised in a home where my lesbian aunts’ girlfriends were introduced to me as their “roommates” and my mom’s version of teaching me about sex was to explain vaginal, penetrative sex only. For a majority of my life, the thought of wanting to have sex with girls and for having secret girlfriends was my well-kept secret.

More: 24 Best states to live in if you're LGBT

Then I came out as pansexual in college. Coming out when I was 20 years old led me to my first sexcapade with a girl a year later. We matched on OkCupid, and we talked extensively about our boundaries and interests. Finally, we came together in a Brooklyn hotel room, and while some of it was eye-opening and awkward, I learned a lot about sex and myself from this new experience. Here are some of my takeaways.

Sex should be communicative & respectful

My date with OkCupid girl, as we’ll call her for privacy reasons, was the first time I had established boundaries, safe words and a list of acts that were off-limits. In my experience with men, sex was a rough-and-tumble mess that was mostly satisfying and had a “we’ll talk about it later” feel to it. But I loved the way this girl led the conversation about these very important things.

While I was eating OkCupid girl out, she laid still with her eyes closed without making a sound. I felt worried for her and stopped, asking if she was OK and if I was making her feel good. She told me she was fine and that I was, but that she was just used to her partners wanting her to stay quiet during sex. This was tricky for me to hear, as it didn’t sound like she meant “be quiet” in a kinky, submissive way. She seemed solemn when she said it. I told her, “I’d love if you wanted to make noise, so feel free.” She allowed herself to make some noise as I continued to go down on her.

This exchange made me grateful for the line of communication we had established, as it made me aware what was bothering her and why. Her sharing allowed us to bond over shitty past male lovers we had and gave me a lot to meditate over on how I could have even more respectful and intentional sex going forward.

More: Everyone is a little bit sexually fluid, including you

Oral sex can be even more fulfilling

Giving her oral sex only reassured my primary attraction to people assigned female at birth. But for the first time, I was presented with very different genitals in my face and on my taste buds… and it was an amazing difference to say the least. I really felt like I was having so much fun, something I never felt in casual encounters in giving cis men blow jobs. I felt so grateful to be receiving that experience.

It was additionally wonderful to have a mouth unhindered by facial hair going down on me. My partner assigned male at birth gives me the best ever head with facial stubble and all. But still, it was nice to feel that smoothness this one time.

All bodies are good bodies

After sleeping with her, I realized that my sexual experiences were incredibly homogenous and included only thin and toned white cis men (with a few exceptions, which now includes my fiancé). With her, sex included a squishy belly, wide tattooed thighs and happily fumbling through positions that worked for both of us.

She was also the first person I’ve ever been with who’s completely shaved, and I was the first person assigned female at birth she’s ever been with who’s completely unshaven. It was fun for the both of us to explore each other’s vastly different bodies and appreciate the sexy things about each other we weren’t necessarily familiar with.

Orgasms aren’t everything

Orgasms are very important to me and everyone I’ve ever been with, but she was the first person I had personally encountered that didn’t feel this way. She told me before we had sex that she usually doesn’t climax during sex with others and not to prioritize that during our time together. I appreciated her confident communication on the subject, but still found myself struggling in the learning curve. At different points, I might have gone on for a bit long with the autopilot intent of making her orgasm, but I would catch myself and laugh or change positions.

I now see that avoiding that race to a finish line makes sex way more enjoyable. While I still love orgasms so much, I see that the journey alone can be just as satisfying as the destination.

Vaginal sex isn’t everything to everyone

During sex with OkCupid girl, neither one of us were vaginally penetrated… and we still had a great time. In the past, the existence of my vaginismus always led to awkward conversations with my male lovers, but OkCupid girl was incredibly kind and respectful about my wishes. Even for someone who can experience vaginal sex, she fully believed we could have a good time without it — and we did! Having been shamed for my pelvic pain disorder many times in the past, this was refreshing.

More: I tried all the bad lubes so you wouldn't have to

Exploring the full spectrum of your sexuality is crucial

I felt like I understood myself much better after this experience, as I finally allowed myself to move closer toward pursuing the fullness of my sexuality. And while my sexuality spans vast territory, as I’m attracted to people of all gender identities, it was my first practice in exploring outside of the bodies I’ve known personally. And for that, I was thankful.

By Meg Zulch

Originally published on HelloFlo.

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