If you have curly hair, you most definitely have a curl routine that you’ve diligently followed for years and years. Maybe not always with the same set of products (hey, you never know which new product will be the one that revolutionizes your curls), but it’s probably pretty rare that you leave your hair untouched for more than a day.
But if you’ve been feeling a little meh about your hair lately — or maybe you just really want to try out a new routine that leaves you with a completely new set of curls — we’ve got you covered. We rounded up the best curl tutorials from the top beauty vloggers that address all of your hair issues, so you too can have your dream head of hair. Scroll down to find the video that works for you and get ready to have weeks and weeks of really good hair days.
YOU HAVE: Tight, S-wave curls
YOU WANT: Full, picked-out, voluminous curls
Voluminous Curls video
Voluminous Curls video
YOU HAVE: Dry, textured, undefined curls
YOU WANT: Hydrated, clumped curls
Hydrated, clumped curls
Hydrated, clumped curls
YOU HAVE: Long, undefined curls
YOU WANT: Smooth, perfectly coiled curls
Smooth, perfectly coiled curls
Smooth, perfectly coiled curls
YOU HAVE: Flat, second-day curls
YOU WANT: Springy, revived curls
Springy, revived curls
Springy, revived curls
YOU HAVE: Fuzzy, short curls
YOU WANT: Soft, rounded curls
Soft, rounded curls
Soft, rounded curls
YOU HAVE: Undefined curls that clump in weird spots
So get slicing — and slice them lengthwise (yeah, we also know you're not Bobby Flay, but if we can manage it, so can you). Slicing grapes into circles won't help, because the width of a grape is the same size as a small child's airway. (We're just full of fun, cheery facts today!)
And guess what? This isn't only a warning for those of you with toddlers. An Australian blogger, Angela Henderson, shared an X-ray of a grape lodged in the throat of a 5-year-old — and it's worth looking at, if you're still skeptical about the need to keep slicing those grapes.
grape xray
grape xray
"Please be mindful that not all kids chew their food, are in a rush at school to get in the playground, etc." Henderson posted to Facebook. "Please be careful. And when in doubt just cut the damn grapes [and] baby tomatoes."
Henderson reported that the little boy in the X-ray required an operation under general anesthesia to remove the whole grape wedged in his windpipe. He survived only because part of us airway remained open until the doctors could perform emergency surgery. Henderson said that the boy's mom offered up the image of the X-ray to be shared to make sure others are taking this whole cutting grapes thing seriously.
We all have that Facebook friend who posts about every paper cut and stomach ailment that comes along. For the love of God, just shut up already, Mary Sue. But the moral of this story? Complain away on Facebook — and pay attention to your friends' complaints — because it might just save a life.
Pregnant Christina DePino in Michigan posted to friends on Facebook that she was feeling unbearably itchy. The itchiness started when the first-time mom was about 35 weeks along, and it was particularly horrible on her hands and feet.
”What had started as an all-over itch started to become more pronounced on the palms of my hands and the soles of my feet,” DePino said in an interview on Today. “It got to the point that I could no longer sleep at night… my arms and legs were bleeding from all the scratching.”
DePino's friends immediately told her something wasn't right. They encouraged her to tell her obstetrician about the itching — and one particularly smart friend suggested she might have cholestasis, a condition where the gallbladder malfunctions, allowing toxins to build up in the bloodstream. Those toxins are harmless to a pregnant woman (aside from making her crazy from all the itching and scratching), but the same toxins can cause stillbirth should they pass through the placenta. Yikes.
DePino Cholestasis
DePino Cholestasis
Fortunately DePino's doctor took her concerns seriously and ran tests, which confirmed that she was suffering from intrahepatic cholestasis of pregnancy. (Just when you thought you'd already heard of all the horrible things that can happen when you're pregnant.)
DePino was induced at 37 weeks to save her baby, a girl. The close call scared the hell out of DePino, and she posted to Facebook about her experience:
“What if I had not complained on Facebook? What if no one had told me? All I could think was that I had to let other women know. I didn’t want any of them to wonder what had happened to their perfectly healthy baby.”
Her post went viral — and nobody's complaining that she was complaining. So the next time you find yourself rolling your eyes at your friend's latest symptom, pause mid-eye roll and consider. It might just be worth a second read and a chat with your friend.
Let's face it; getting out of bed in the morning and leaving our dogs behind is excruciating. I mean, who actually wants to remove themselves from that whole cuddle situation with their BFF to head to work? Um, no one.
But if you work for a progressive company that allows you to bring your dog in with you, you don't have to. Some studies suggest that workplaces that allow dogs are more likely to have employees that are less stressed and more creative, leading to a happier workplace environment — and bosses who have tested out the theory wholeheartedly agree.
"Having [dogs] by our side makes us happy, lowers our stress levels, and creates an environment that is comfortable, open, and flexible," Chris Meiering, director of innovation at a natural pet treat company, told the American Animal Hospital Association. "Some offices have water cooler conversations; we have dog playtime conversations. Their presence really builds camaraderie in the office."
If taking your dog to work sounds like a dream come true, it might be time for a change of scene. Here is a list of dog-friendly companies that allow their employees to bring their dogs to work every day.
1. Kimpton Hotels
Kimpton Hotels
Kimpton Hotels
Kimpton lets you bring your dog to work — but watch your back, because they might steal your next promotion. Pets that come to work with their owners are given the title director of pet relations and even greet guests in the lobby.
"I started bringing Buster to work to alleviate his loneliness, and he is loving it!" employee Julie Robbins said of her dog. "He thoroughly enjoys the attention he gets from other employees, and he loves lying in my lap for the last hour of the day while I work at my desk."
3. Salesforce
Puppyforce
Puppyforce
Salesforce created the "Puppyforce" program, which is basically a communal workspace where employees can bring their pets. The only hitch is that reservations are required, and the room is often full, according to Fortune.
4. Tito's Handmade Vodka
Tito's vodka
Tito's vodka
The Austin, Texas-based company doesn't limit its pets policy to canines — you can bring in pretty much any animal that brings you comfort. They also provide an outdoor play area for dogs.
"Our team feels having their furry companions by their side during the work day contributes to a very productive and happy environment," Beth Bellanti of Tito’s told Trupanion. "Tito built his distillery with a very beloved dog by his side 16 years ago and that culture of having dogs around us at Tito’s Handmade Vodka and helping other dogs has always been a comfort."
5. P&G Pet Care
PG pet care
PG pet care
Home to many popular brands of dog food like Iams and Eukanuba, P&G Pet Care welcomes dogs in its home offices in Cincinnati, Ohio. It even has dogs that hold very important jobs, like Pawl Griffin, a Petit Basset Griffon Vendéen that is currently the vice president of canine communications.
6. Google
Google has allowed dogs to accompany its employees to work for several years, and it is clearly stated on its code of conduct page that "Google's affection for our canine friends is an integral facet of our corporate culture. We like cats, but we're a dog company, so as a general rule we feel cats visiting our office would be fairly stressed out."
7. Embrace Pet Insurance
Embrace Pet Insurance
Embrace Pet Insurance
One of the leading brands of pet insurance, Embrace absolutely allows dogs in its offices. Employees just need to get approval from a supervisor and make sure their dogs display good manners when on the job.
8. Ben & Jerry's
It should come as no surprise that this sweet and tasty company wants to keep its employees as relaxed and creative as possible to be able to come up with all those awesome ice cream flavors. Ben & Jerry's has allowed dogs in its offices for many years, but don't worry, there is no paw dipping going on there.
Etsy has allowed employees to bring their dogs to work since it first began in 2005, and it even has a canine operations team. Having dogs in the office is one way that Etsy tries to keep the atmosphere creative and inspiring.
10. Build-A-Bear Workshop
Build-A-Bear
Build-A-Bear
For about the last 10 years, the Build-A-Bear company has allowed employees to bring their dogs to work. Employees are allowed to have their dogs by their sides at their desks and accompany them to meetings, but they cannot bring them to the cafeteria.
11. Amazon
This internet sensation allows dogs in its offices as long as they remain on a leash or safely behind a baby gate to ensure the work area is safe and happy. Rumor has it that an easy dozen dogs or more can be seen at the offices on a single day.
12. Moochie & Co.
This pet retail shop allows employees to bring their dogs to work in both retail locations and at its corporate offices in Columbus, Ohio. Dogs must be properly vaccinated, well-behaved and promise to wag their tails at every customer.
13. SheKnows
Bet you didn't know that SheKnows is also dog-friendly! On any given day, you will find pups tagging along to our main headquarters in Scottsdale, Arizona, as well as our offices in New York City, Chicago and Los Angeles.
While Trump's win initially presented a serious threat to women's reproductive rights, we seem to be catching a few breaks lately — first with the new administration's inability to repeal Obamacare so far, and now, with a new study whose findings point to the possibility of women having even more direct access to abortion, rather than less.
Recent research found that ordering abortion pills over the phone and taking them in the comfort of your home is safe and effective. According to Vice, the study’s findings were presented at the World Congress on Public Health after it analyzed 1,000 women who received the pills. Eight-two percent of the women who took the pills confirmed terminated pregnancy without any health complications. (Important to note: 15 percent of the women could not be reached to confirm results.)
But don't get too excited yet. While this new study is certainly a step in the right direction, we’re still leaps and bounds away from having this pill actually available over the counter. It took a full 20 years for the FDA to approve doctors to administer the abortion pill to patients in person.
How it works right now: You go into a clinic or doctor’s office to confirm that you want to terminate your pregnancy within the legal time frame, and a nurse gives you the first pill, which contains mifepristone (a synthetic steroid with anti-progestational effects, meaning it makes your uterus unfriendly to fertilized eggs). You’re then sent home with the second pill (misoprostol, a hormone used to instigate labor, abortions and treat stomach ulcers) which you take 24 hours later. Ultimately, the two pills work in conjunction to terminate pregnancy, and currently cost between $0 and $800, depending on your insurance.
Since its legalization in 2000, over 500,000 women have ended unplanned pregnancies this way. While abortion using this pill is still uncomfortable and painful and often involves severe cramping and bleeding, it's said to be far less invasive and emotionally distressing than surgical abortion.
For women in the early stages of an unplanned pregnancy (up to 10 weeks), a pill is a superior option. If it were available over the phone, it would make termination that much easier and cheaper for women. Going to the clinic for surgical abortions, during which women are often subjected to harassment, invasive examinations and in some cases, ultrasounds of the fetus, can be traumatic. Plus, through telemedicine and companies like the Talbott Foundation, women would be able to get these pills by making a phone call. The service costs $250 — also far cheaper than going to a clinic, especially for the uninsured.
In a press release, Suzanne Belton, associate professor at Charles Darwin University, who presented the findings, said, “Telehealth abortions with tablets are a safe and effective way for Australian women to seek a termination of pregnancy. It is a low-risk procedure. Very few women needed extra support at a hospital for assistance with bleeding or additional pain relief."
Being able to avoid that kind of discomfort would be a much-needed step in the right direction for women’s health care and agency over our own bodies. Again, we've still got a ways to go, but in the face of open threats by the U.S. government to remove our ability to make our own reproductive choices, it's heartening to know that research like this continues to turn up positive results — and hopefully, in the future, more tangible options — for women.
Being a princess is hard work — work that leaves no room for side projects like lifestyle websites. That's why it's so damn telling that Meghan Markle just shut hers down after three years of successful operation.
The homepage of Markle's site, The Tig, is now just a collection of photos and a note to her supporters, reading, "After close to three beautiful years on this adventure with you, it's time to say goodbye to The Tig. What began as a passion project (my little engine that could) evolved into an amazing community of inspiration, support, fun and frivolity. You've made my days brighter and filled this experience with so much joy. Keep finding those Tig moments of discovery, keep laughing and taking risks, and keep being 'the change you wish to see in the world.'"
She also put farewell posts on both her personal Instagram and The Tig's Instagram.
Meghan Markle just shut down her lifestyle site Tig 1
Meghan Markle just shut down her lifestyle site Tig 1
Meghan Markle just shut down her lifestyle site Tig 2
Meghan Markle just shut down her lifestyle site Tig 2
This is pretty much proof of what we already heavily suspected was coming: Markle and Prince Harry are going to get engaged. It's probably time to start taking bets on exactly when he's going to pop the question, because it's gonna be soon. Why else would she be clearing her schedule? Gotta make room for all those princess duties.
Markle is still acting on Suits, but rumors are swirling saying she's leaving the show after the current season wraps filming. It wouldn't be a surprise after The Tig shut down. She clearly has a new set of royal priorities.
Late-night Googling can be a dangerous rabbit hole. It starts with looking up one symptom and quickly descends into a full-blown hunt for the next horrific thing that will absolutely definitely happen to your body.
One such recent search somehow yielded the fact that under certain — very rare — circumstances, you can get pregnant while you’re already pregnant. Given the fact that I am currently not pregnant — nor do I have plans to be anytime soon — I’m not sure how this even ended up on my radar, but here we are.
To get to the bottom of this (and so I’d stop scaring pregnant friends of mine with this fact), I investigated the old-fashioned way: I asked an actual doctor.
Dr. Gerardo Bustillo, an OB-GYN at Orange Coast Memorial Medical Center in Fountain Valley, California, started by explaining that the process I described is called “superfetation,” which refers to the formation of a second pregnancy during a different menstrual cycle while another pregnancy is already established in the uterus.
But wait, there’s more. Bustillo also described a process called “superfecundation,” which is the fertilization of two eggs during the same menstrual cycle from separate acts of sexual intercourse. So yes, it is technically possible for a person to be pregnant with twins conceived with two eggs from the same menstrual cycle but by two different males. That’s called “heteropaternal superfecundation,” and the resulting twins are genetically half-siblings since they only share the genes of the mother, he told me.
Sperm can live inside the female reproductive tract for four to five days, Bustillo noted, and the ovulated egg remains fertilizable for up to 48 hours. This means that the reproductive window may allow for fertilization of a second egg by the same or a different male partner.
How common is it?
We’re not 100 percent sure. Cases of superfecundation are difficult to confirm if the same male is responsible for both fertilizations, Bustillo explained, meaning that it may be more common than suspected.
Cases of heteropaternal superfecundation — where two separate eggs are fertilized by two separate males — have been documented, and although considered rare, may be more common than previously thought, he added.
“Interestingly, in one study on humans, the frequency of heteropaternal superfecundation was 2.4 percent among twins whose parents had been involved in paternity suits,” Bustillo said.
Superfetation, although common in some species of animals, is extremely rare in humans.
So how rare is it?
“There are fewer than 10 reported instances of superfetation in the medical literature since 1960, and in general, reports of superfetation have been treated with suspicion,” Bustillo said.
Does this mean pregnant women should still be using a barrier method birth control if they're having sex while pregnant?
Although considered rare, it is potentially possible for a woman to conceive a second time in very early pregnancy.
But once an early pregnancy test is positive, the superfecundation will have already occurred, Bustillo explained. Because of this, using a barrier method once you already know that you’re pregnant will not decrease the rare risk of superfecundation.
Are there any additional risks associated with getting pregnant while already pregnant?
Any type of multiple gestation — whether that’s twins, triplets or beyond — carries significantly higher risks to the mother and fetuses than a singleton pregnancy, Bustillo said.
In the very rare case of superfetation, there’s an additional risk: that delivery of the full-term twin may also result in delivery of the second baby at the same time, which is therefore born prematurely. This can lead to challenges such as immature lung function and other serious issues in the baby born prematurely, he added.
So, I guess we live in a world where we're supposed to be excited when restaurants don't serve us food that's a major risk to our health. Following in the footsteps of McDonald's and Chick-fil-A, KFC just announced that it plans to curb the use of human antibiotics in its chicken. Hooray?
The Southern-themed fast-food maker, which even I have to admit I've enjoyed from time to time (those mashed potatoes might not be fresh, but they're pretty damn tasty), is currently the second-biggest U.S. chicken chain. And at the moment, that delightful Kentucky Fried Chicken you're consuming contains antibiotics that are used in human medicine.
Seventy percent of human antibiotics are currently used for meat and dairy production to help prevent infections like E. coli in animals — aka to prevent vendors from taking losses when some animals naturally get sick and can't be sold as food for humans anymore. As you've probably heard by now, using antibiotics like these in food is dangerous because it builds up our immunity to the drugs, making them less effective in fighting disease when we really need them.
While the privately owned Chick-fil-A stopped putting antibiotics in its products in 2014, followed by McD's in 2016, and then Taco Bell and Pizza Hut last month, KFC is finally promising to do the same — by the end of 2018. "We recognize that it's a growing public health concern," KFC U.S. President Kevin Hochman said. "This is something that's important to many of our customers and it's something we need to do to show relevance and modernity within our brand." Well, duh. But also, y'know, it's the right thing to do!
Right now the policy will only take effect at KFCs in the U.S., so you might want to hold off on eating at the chain if and when you travel outside the country — oh, and obviously until the 2018 antibiotic ban takes effect. It's too bad stuff like this takes so long for corporations to implement, and even then, it seems mostly motivated by sales rather than public health concerns. Still, better late than never, I guess?
Suede shoes, boots and jackets are a big fashion yes. Keeping your suede in good shape? That’s where things get more complicated — wintry elements like rain, sleet and snow aren’t particularly kind to suede items, and April showers just make things worse. That said, with a little bit of planning and some extra attention, you don’t have to make fashion choices based on inclement weather.
Here, our six tips to make sure your suede shoes and boots look as good as new.
1. Seal your suede
You wouldn’t hit the beach without sunscreen, and similarly, you shouldn’t hit the streets in suede without properly protecting them first. Everywhere from drugstores to shoe repair stores carry protective sprays, and we’re big fans of Gear Aid ReviveX Nubuck Suede & Fabric Water Repellent (Amazon, $8.25), in particular. A thin application of a suede sealant will last for several months (yes, you do have to treat suede every couple of months) and will help repel dirt and stop stains before they start. A tip to keep in mind before actually spraying: We strongly recommend brushing with a suede brush before and after you spray it.
2. To treat a liquid spill, clean with talcum powder or cornmeal
If you spill liquid on your suede item, pat the area with a clean cloth or towel and then apply a layer of cornmeal or talcum powder. Let it set overnight and then brush the suede the following day with a suede brush to remove the dried powder.
3. Treat dried stains — like dirt — with white vinegar
Approach dried stains like dirt a little differently. For a quick fix, rub off dirt with a kneaded eraser or an emery board. For heavier stains, blot the stain using a small amount of white vinegar and a clean towel. Repeat for as long as necessary until you see your stain disappear. This is a great way to get rid of both water and salt stains.
4. Bring your suede back to life with a toothbrush
Should your suede begin to look tired and flattened, scrub it with a clean toothbrush or terry cloth towel. If it’s really in bad shape, hold your shoe above steam — even from a teakettle — for a few seconds and then brush it.
5. Whatever you do, don’t clean suede with water
This might seem counterintuitive, but don’t try to clean suede with water alone, which can affect both the color and texture of suede.
6. If all else fails, get your suede shoes professionally cleaned
Obviously, this is a solid way to ensure your suede looks it’s best. This is also a great thing to do before you put your winter suede boots or jacket away in storage during the warmer months.
Before your child is born, you consider what kind of a person you're about to bring into the world. What you probably don't consider, however, is what kinds of people you'll be forced to interact with once your baby is out there toddling around. Whether you're working or a stay-at-home mom, much of your free time is about to be tied up at playgrounds and kid's music classes. And there you will meet the other parents. Do not be alarmed. Here is who you'll meet and how to handle them.
Expert Mom
Meet the mom who knows everything. She’s read every book, attended every seminar. She may have written some of the books or she’s listed as a source in the footnotes. If there’s a study out, she knows about it. She knows exactly how to handle any problem that comes her way — or yours. And she’s going to tell you exactly how to handle it, whether or not you want her to.
How to handle: It’s easier to be her friend than go to the library, but befriending Expert Mom means one of two things: either 1) you’ll become increasingly dependent on her advice until you’re not sure how to dress that day until you call her first or 2) you’re going to start to realize that your opinions differ from hers, and you think you have some pretty solid points. And God help you on that day, my friend. God help you on that day.
Cool-But-Secretly-Terrible Mom
You meet her on the playground. She looks like she just woke up, but she meant to look that way. Like she should be smoking a cigarette. Her humor is dry and sardonic and you try not to snort-laugh while she makes fun of all the other parents around you. It’s going to be the two of you forever! You’ve found your new BFF! Then her kid toddles up to her and asks for more Teddy Grahams and she calls him a little asshole... to his face.
How to handle: Run and never stop running. This one is bad news. Actually, before you run, find out what hair product she uses. So effortlessly disheveled!
Cult Mom
She’s the friendliest mom you’ve ever meet. She’s sweet, a good listener, comes to your house with cookies and her kid loves your kid. She seems too good to be true — because she is. There’s an agenda that’ll come out sooner rather than later. It may be a religion, it may be a multilevel marketing scheme. Whatever it is, this mom wants your very soul.
How to handle: You’ll have to have your own competing religion/money-making scheme to counteract hers. If you start sharing all the wonderful details of your new god, she’ll be running away faster than you can say “Amway.” And you never know. She might learn a little something about how annoying it is to be proselytized to. Maybe you can work out a deal: Her kid can still hang out with your kid as long as she lays off the hard sell. And brings the cookies.
Ghosting mom
She will be your best friend. She will be charismatic, charming, wonderful. And then she will be gone. Poof! Do not try to find her. I'm so sorry.
How to handle: How do you hold a moonbeam in your hand? She was never there, baby. She was never there.
Germ-phobic Mom
Someone’s anxious! This Nervous Nellie slathers her child’s limbs in hand sanitizer, makes you lock up the cat because of toxoplasmosis, and wouldn’t ever let her kid anywhere near the sandbox. In her defense, sandboxes are gross.
How to handle: You gotta feel some sympathy for someone this riddled with anxiety. And if she’s coming over, that’s the incentive you need to really clean up the place. So motivating!
On the other hand, there’s this one. This mom’s kid is always sick. Always. “What are you going to do,” is the mom’s motto. Her house smells like… is that cabbage? There’s always a stain on the rug, and it’s usually barf. She’ll come to your house and casually mention how her kids had diarrhea just that morning. Every time you have a playdate, you can count the hours until your kid comes down with the latest virus.
How to handle: Pick a neutral location. Realize that your kid is going to get all these viruses anyway, so maybe this mom is doing you a favor. Wonder if you are Germ-phobic Mom after all.
Insecure Dad
This guy works from home as a writer or graphic designer. All his friends are women. He refers to his spouse as “Hot Wife” and will not stop telling you and anyone who’ll listen what a lucky man he is. He will end up getting caught in a texting scandal when it turns out he’s been sending the preschool director pictures of his junk.
How to handle: Block his number.
Your New Best Friend
She’s kind and funny. Her kid likes your kid. She agrees that kids can be the worst and also the best, all at the same time. Her texts make you snort-laugh.
How to handle: Keep doing what you’re doing. You can’t go wrong. Unless you want to tell her about that multilevel marketing scheme you just discovered. (Don’t do that.)
After a few hiccups, Sustain condoms is making a push for the condom market.
The duo behind Sustain Natural is a father and daughter, one of whom has previously dominated in markets with natural products.
While her dad is an equal partner and lends his expertise in building a business, Meika Hollender is fronting the marketing campaign behind Sustain Natural.
The New York Times feature on the brand explains how Hollender hosted an event at a Ricky’s to speak more on Sustain Natural’s mission and what makes their condoms so different.
“Everyone is thinking about the ingredients in their food and their makeup,” said Hollender in The New York Times. “But no one is thinking about the ingredients that go in the products they put in the most intimate parts of our body.”
Sustain Natural’s condoms are marketed as a brand that is vegan, eco-friendly and free of nitrosamines.
The condom brand speaks to a growing movement of people who choose vegan, environmentally friendly and chemical-free products even beyond just the food they eat. For instance, other sex brands, like Babeland, have launched lines of products that underscore the cruelty-free aspect.
We were kissing. And I liked him. I liked the kissing and I wanted it to keep going, which felt like new territory to me. It shouldn’t, of course; anyone you’re kissing, you should maybe at least like them a little bit. I’ve felt that before, liking someone — even loving someone — and wanting it to go further, to transcend that like or love into something physical, something sexual. I’ve felt it before — I know I have; I remember. But those experiences became distant memories, ghosts of how I used to experience love and sex before. Before is important because I can’t go back to Before; I only live in the After. One experience changed all the others; one experience made it hard to move forward and commit to sex wholeheartedly. One experience made it so difficult to connect my mind, my body and my heart.
But here I was in his bed with his face against mine, ready to do just that: connect my mind, body and heart. I was ready to try doing just that.
And then I spoke.
Historically, sexual assault has been treated as shameful. Statistically, 1 in 5 women will be raped. According to the National Sexual Violence Resource Center, rape is the most underreported crime, with 63 percent of assaults going unreported. Surveyed victims offer a multitude of reasons why they elect not to report, including fear of retaliation from the perpetrator; a belief police wouldn’t help; a desire to hide the rape from family, friends or others; fear there wasn’t enough proof of assault; feeling that the crime wasn’t “serious enough”; and not wanting the perpetrator to get in trouble. Another common reason rape goes unreported is that alcohol or drugs were involved and because the encounter was drug-facilitated, the victim inherently accepts fault, adopting the attitude that if she were sober, this could have been prevented. All of these “reasons” share at least one common thread: they’re rooted in shame.
When I was sexually assaulted, I didn’t call it anything for a long time. I would go for walks and try to remember. My face would get hot and I would feel the hot iron of anxiety press across my chest. When I thought of that night, something was wrong. I couldn’t say what, but my body had an extremely visceral reaction and that was important, telling and not without reason. My body knew something traumatic had happened to it, something my mind couldn’t compute.
I didn’t tell anyone. I didn’t even tell myself. It took over a year for me to bring it up in therapy and it was there that the word “rape” was used for the first time. I slowly brought it up with a few trusted friends. And then I found myself in a situation with a guy who I thought I could love and I knew something had to change.
“Before anything happens between us, I need to tell you something.” That’s what I made myself say before I kissed him anymore. I made myself say it so I couldn’t chicken out and opt to say nothing. He waited while I worked up the courage I was sure I didn’t have. And then eventually, I took enough inhales and exhales to prove to myself I was still alive and breathing and I would be after I said it out loud too. And I told him.
“Baby, baby, baby,” he said. The mood changed; it wasn’t about sex anymore. It was about holding me, processing what he’d just been told and making sure I was all right. He kissed me on my forehead and it was more intimate than any of the other kisses shared in that bed. I could love this man, I thought.
I can’t go back to Before; I’ll never be able to. But this new man — this man who treated me as both his equal and his queen, who rocked me side to side and was gentle, kind and patient with me — eased me and calmed me in my After. It’s not just a reflection of him; it speaks volumes about how ready I was to heal and be open to new love (and everything that came with it). It was me who was brave, me who spoke, and it was me who showed him how I wanted to be loved and helped and supported.
Here we were, in his bed with his face against mine, ready to try to connect our minds, bodies and hearts. And it felt OK. I felt OK and safe and loved, and that’s a beautiful After.
Lookout for bruised egos on Sunday. Enthusiasms are thwarted and tension grows as the moon becomes full in lovely Libra on Tuesday. We’ve much to celebrate, yet our progress feels tarnished — if you find yourself hungry for more success, attention, or affection try practicing an attitude of gratitude!
Mercury retrogrades in material plains of Taurus on Monday. Use this as an opportunity to thoroughly review the practicalities.
Unexpected resolutions arrive on Friday, and surprises are promised — thankfully the agenda’s clear to see.
Plus, Venus completes her retrograde motion on Saturday with a grand finale that presses uncomfortably on our most tender feels; acknowledging hurts helps us heal.
It’s a week to lay low — at least until Friday when it’s impossible to hide your electric appeal. A clash of wills arises Sunday, intensified by the full moon Monday — sidestep the drama, Aries. With Mercury passing through your money zone, it makes sense to focus on the practicalities now.
With your awareness in relationships heightened, try and understand partnership in its truest sense. It’s a hugely cathartic — and potentially painful — week offering closure, so take it down a notch. Avoid conflict; embrace calm.
It’s vital you get lots of rest this week, Taurus — don’t overstretch yourself! Your productivity is clear to see, so rather than driving yourself too hard, be proud of your efforts and progress to date.
Mercury retrograde in your sign on Monday puts personal matters into revision mode, and prompts you to stay on your toes — triple check your schedule. Toward the weekend, you could be privy to some pretty powerful flashes of insight. There’s an important turnaround in your social scene on Saturday.
With Mercury swimming through your intuitive, dreamy realms, it’s a great time to examine outmoded patterns, Gemini. You have a sensitive touch now, making it easier to go gently on yourself and others as you process.
It’s a super-romantic time for twins too: The full moon brings passions to light! Charged with intensity, don’t be surprised if affections feel extra early in the week. More shocks are delivered within your wider network, with revelations due to arrive on Friday. You can begin to redefine your public image on Saturday.
It’s a powerful week to realize change, putting a radical new face forward, presenting yourself a little differently. Don’t force a switch-up, but similarly, don’t be surprised if Friday sees you keen to express another side of yourself.
Thursday is your most romantic day for play, when you can turn to a trusted companion, sharing any doubts or insecurities — they may intensify, but will begin to resolve themselves on Saturday.
Scheduling group activities could prove trying this week; pace yourself with technology and social networking.
Close community is emphasized this week; despite feeling embraced by your inner circle, there may be a need to venture further afield. The desire to expand your horizons might be curbed over the weekend; however, the impulse to follow your bliss becomes even more compelling — and highly charged — toward Friday.
It’s a week to rethink very recent conversations, especially those connected to your position. Don’t permanently delete emails lest you need to backtrack on an exchange. A private matter begins to reach its resolution on Saturday.
The venture that’s gained ground may call for extra planning this week. While you’ve been actively broadening your scope — learning, traveling and launching — it might take time for your journey to fully flourish.
You have reason to celebrate material gains early this week, however there’s an intensity to the progress you’ve made. There could be surprises around the source of your income or a revelation in private exchange. A key relationship can begin to improve on Saturday, helping you move forward from past hurts.
Monday and Tuesday place your journey in full view. Further growth is promised, but for now, it’s important to appreciate personal progress and celebrate how far you’ve come! Seize the limelight; you can give it back Friday when others spark the excitement.
You’ll start to see progress in routine matters on Saturday; however, the week ahead calls your attention to the heart of the matter. Acknowledge hurts with grace and sympathy; don’t be too ready to school those around you, as judgment could be cloudy.
The next chapter is clear to see this week; however, that doesn’t negate problems surfacing in the present. Shake-ups to your everyday could prove unsettling or liberating on Friday, so be open to change and accept help.
Though it’s tempting to push to have your way in partnerships, exchanges could need a little extra care. Take it steady as you revisit recent conversations.
Saturday brings a pause to deeply held values and your sense of pleasure — pause to recalibrate. It’ll be easier to move on from this point.
Putting the practicalities first can restrict your sense of fun this week. In truth, it’s a favorable time to celebrate friendships and fuel a more playful outlook, so although it’s tempting to control matters, do give in to pleasure! And be open to creative inspiration on Friday.
Home is highlighted too this week — dive into issues for a cathartic cleanse no matter how raw the feels become. With Mercury retrograde at work, you’ll want to take your schedule and duties oh so slow.
It’s a highly charged week as home and ambitions vie for attention. Sunday stirs the emotions while Tuesday puts personal success in the spotlight. On Friday, home matters most, though rather than domestic bliss, you could see fireworks. Throughout all the jostling, you’re prompted to go even deeper into thought and connection — it’ll be worth your efforts, Capricorn.
With Mercury retrograde in your most playful zone on Monday, you might find yourself rethinking affections or personal notions of pleasure — allow your passions space to settle.
The need to connect with your group and celebrate progress could be hampered by issues you’re processing behind closed doors; however, the impetus to speak up and speak out is irresistible toward the weekend.
Friday is highly charged, so go easy — outbursts come thick and fast!
Explore the haves and have nots a little further this week; dive into the material realms and your pocketbook, even if it’s a point of contention. It’s a good time to get clear on your worth and expectations.
It’s a week to be on top of your game where communications are concerned, as Mercury retrogrades through your orientation zone — plan short trips and liaise with care!
The full moon highlights money, power and resources with tension and change in the air.
Use this week to really re-examine personal matters — from your physical body and self-perception to the way you carry yourself and approach the world. It might not be entirely comfortable at times; however, by Saturday, you have all you need to refresh your identity.
It was the first new episode of Saturday Night Live in a month, and the writers and cast returned with a renewed energy to take on politics and current events in a way that they haven't in past seasons. Hosted by comedian Louis C.K., who returned for his fourth visit, and with Alec Baldwin returning yet again to play President Donald Trump, the episode was filled to the brim with biting commentary that touched on serious issues like war, race, class, and sexual harassment. Even though it took on deep topics, though, SNL managed to keep viewers laughing.
As SNL takes on all of the biggest headlines this season, it was no surprise that they included a pre-filmed segment last night that roasted Pepsi's marketing team for their enormous commercial flop that the nation as a whole found problematic, pandering, and offensive.
The sketch imagines the writer and director of the doomed commercial (played by Beck Bennett) on the set minutes before filming begins. His sister calls, and as he explains the thrust of the ad, in which Kendall Jenner stops a protest from escalating by handing a Pepsi to a police officer, she tells him its a mistake. He asked for her to put on her husband, who gives him the same feedback. Finally, he talks to a neighbor, and realizes that he's in big trouble -- but it's all too late.
The skewering of Pepsi is almost difficult to watch, and you almost feel bad for whoever was personally responsible for the commercial. On the other hand, the sketch has a strong point: how was it not completely, utterly obvious to everyone that the concept trivialized a number of extremely important and loaded issues of the day, including Black Lives Matter, peaceful protest, and police brutality? It's a tough lesson to learn, Pepsi, but you need to know that if you mess up this badly, you might have to deal with a stable of the best comedians and humor writers in the country.
On the week when his new comedy special "2017" premiered on Netflix, stand-up and actor Louis C.K. returned to host SNL for the fourth time. The comedian, who years ago failed to make the cast of SNL, did an edgy, spot-on 10-minute monologue that didn't shy away from the political any more than the rest of the sketches. C.K. opened right away with a bit about whether chickens are racist and didn't stop there. He ended with a story about getting his laundry returned to him by a hotel service that proved to be a smart and funny look at white privilege.
Louis C.K. has always walked the fine line between edgy and offensive humor, and his monologue last night was a good look at how comics can make a difference politically, while still getting laughs.
Baldwin does Trump and Bill O'Reilly at the same time
baldwin O'Reiley SNL
baldwin O'Reiley SNL
There are rumors that Alec Baldwin is going to hang up his Trump wig soon, and some think that he doesn't have the enthusiasm for the role that he used to. Still, the actor played Trump twice last night, once for the cold open, and again in a sketch in which he portrayed both the Commander in Chief and embattled FOX talkshow host Bill O'Reilly in a split-screen interview.
The sketch not only showed Baldwin's impressive character acting ability–he manages to look creepily like both men he is impersonating–it also included some sharp barbs that targeted both Trump and O'Reilly. O'Reilly's recent, multiple accusations of sexual misconduct were put front and center, while Trump's handling of Syria, healthcare, and his troubling relationships with Russia.
If you have a couple of hours and a few brain cells to kill, I highly recommend going spelunking in the deep well of online commentary on The Walking Dead. From fan fiction to nitpicking the set to challenging plausibility to porn, there’s quite literally everything to sate a curious (Walking) Dead-head.
There’s even one fan theory that is “an idea from a Batman theory mixed with Shutter Island.” It explains that, ultimately, Rick is actually in a mental hospital, with Laurie, Michonne and Andrea as nurses, the Governor and Negan as doctors, Shane as the general practitioner who committed Rick for kidnapping two children, Judith and Carl, and the whole rest of the cast rotating as fellow patients. Why a fan theory would ignore the entire concept of the apocalypse that’s garnered the show cult status is a mystery. Also, forget Batman — that happened in Season 6, Episode 17 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
Regardless, here's a cherry-picked selection from the World Wide Web of geeking out on The Walking Dead. Enjoy at your own risk of never watching the show the same way again.
Let's talk about the blood
OK, this one is something that has personally bothered me, and I’ve been waiting for the perfect moment to bitch about it. So, there was an iconic moment in Season 1 — perhaps one of the moments that solidified the show’s status as serious as fuq — when Glenn and Rick throw on some tarps and slather themselves in zombie goo, hands and organs so that they can walk among the dead undetected. Luckily, they pull off their smelly scheme in a nerve-wracking scene, and a new defense tactic in the Walking Dead universe was born.
Image: AMC
So, it makes sense that in the very successful spinoff series Fear the Walking Dead (which centers on a different group in California at the start of the outbreak but operates within the same confines of TWD), they use the same strategy to walk among the dead. What bothers me is that they go from rubbing on a pretty disturbing amount of blood and guts to just a couple of hand smears on a shirt. This seems to be because the character always trying to go on a zombie jog in FTWD is pretty boy Nick, and it makes sense that the showrunners don’t want his adventurous ass always looking like Swamp Thing. But it just takes you out of it, in my opinion, that we’ve gone from Rick and Glenn wearing the the contents of two adult humans to Nick just sporting a little zombie blush.
Image: AMC
Can zombies stop and smell the roses?
Which leads us to the next point fans pointed out online: What’s this nonsense about the walkers somehow being able to smell? We’ve seen all manner of deformed, decaying walkers, from solitary heads still gnawing on the ground to zombies missing parts of their faces, like the pet zombies Michonne kept as protection when we first met her in Season 3. The zombies are not supposed to be sentient, and they clearly don’t have any feeling, so why is their sense of smell so keen that they can sniff out their prey, differentiating between live humans and fellow zombies by scent?
This also helpfully leads us to another great crowd-sourced point: The zombies have gotten dumber as we’ve gone on. This could have a legitimate explanation, which is that at this point, the remaining zombies have been rotting for a long time, making them slower and dumber. But it’s still worth noting that in the first episode, the little zombie girl that Rick sees not only picks up her dropped teddy bear — suggesting far more motor skills and a kind of consciousness that we don’t get from present day TWD zombies (or even FTWD zombies, for that matter) — but also starts to run at Rick, which is a far cry from the post-drug-and-alcohol bender kind of stumble we see the zombies do now.
The Walking Dead First Zombie
The Walking Dead First Zombie
Fans also pointed out that throughout the gang’s time in Atlanta, zombies could throw things to break glass and climb fences. A possible explanation is that the producers didn’t have a complete idea of how every aspect of the show would operate yet, which plenty of shows do (for example, Carrie talks to the camera in Season 1 of Sex and the City but she stops doing it by midseason, showing that they quickly realized this was silly AF). It probably became clear that Rick et al. would have had a rough time surviving this long against those wily Season 1 zombies.
Let's get nitpicky
My favorite kinds of TWD fan comments comb the show for aesthetic deviations from the narrative. For example, people were really pissed that the prison lawn was mowed in Season 3.
Image: AMC
Honestly, this one is fair. When our ragtag gang stumbled onto the prison, it had been months since the walkers took over the world, and everyone is just trying to find a turtle to cook or a gun to shoot. They’re definitely not finding the time or gas to hop on a John Deere for a joyride. Internet sleuths actually found out that the show pays its location’s owners to go without lawn upkeep for three weeks prior to shooting. Clearly, someone dropped the ball on this one.
I also can’t help but giggle at the magic Hyundai Tucson fans noticed in Season 2 (which some fans and critics started referencing as a character). The vehicle model was from 2012, but in the show’s timeline, it’s supposed to be 2010. This is clearly an ad placement that was a production oversight — or maybe the showrunners were severely underestimating their fans back in Season 2.
Image: AMC
What about this most recent season?
Boy, have fans stayed the course in their obsessive hunt for mistakes and plot holes. Since the 2017 premiere of the second half of Season 7, fans have already pointed out two huge errors that can’t be unseen.
In “Rock in the Road,” as Rick and his Alexandria angels dejectedly exit the Hilltop’s mansion only to be met by Hilltop residents wanting to join their fight, the camera pans over our heroes standing on what is supposed to be a southern plantation's porch, with the front door wide open. The careful eye will notice that the mansion is no Georgia gem after all — there’s a paper mural faking an interior.
Rick and the Alexandria Residents at the Hilltop
Rick and the Alexandria Residents at the Hilltop
But worse of all, in the very next episode, “New Best Friends,” fans spotted a plane in the background as Rick stares out from a trash mountain over the world’s wasteland — clearly, no place that planes are flying around anymore.
Image: AMC
The paper background is kind of funny, but the plane is kind of sad because it could have easily been edited out. But who knows — maybe the showrunners were actually hinting at a new crew of NASA engineers who survived and are going to save the day in Season 8 by sending everyone up to Mars! Maybe every plot hole and misstep is leading up to some grand plot twist we can’t even imagine! I’m just waiting for someone to explain whether or not Dwight/Negan’s wife’s name is Sherry or Honey, because they use both.
Also, props to Eugene for this epic gag in last Sunday’s episode. He’s chomping on a pickle while he apologizes to Dwight for biting his crotch last season. Well played, D, well played.
Image: AMC
Are there any plot holes you've noticed in The Walking Dead? Tell us in the comments!
According the Entertainment Tonight, Jackson and her third husband, Wissam Al Mana, have split. The couple has been keeping a low profile following the birth of their son, Eissa. While Jackson has always favored privacy when it comes to her personal life, this news is sad to learn. There are no reports of any wrongdoing; in fact, a statement from a source reports, "[S]adly, Janet and Wissam have decided that it wasn't working and to go their separate ways. They're both busy people but determined to be good parents, even if they're apart. It's amicable and Eissa will stay with his mother, who is basing herself in London."
Jackson and Al Mana had been together for quite some time. The singer and the Qatari businessman met in 2010 and secretly wed in 2012 (see, I told you she was secretive). Jackson, whose musical output has slowed down in the last few years, had chosen to postpone her Unbreakable tour in order to start a family. While Jackson had made promises to return to her music, she made it clear that she was ready to focus on motherhood right now.
Since Donald Trump took office less than six months ago, women, immigrants and many other groups of marginalized Americans have taken to the streets because their voices are no longer being heard in the Oval Office. But the protesting crowds spilling out of airport terminals have come and gone, and no one’s knitting pink pussy hats anymore –– where does that leave Americans, mentally? Will we be able to summon that same fervor two or three years from now, when this administration undoubtedly proposes legislation just as heinous as the ban on immigrants from Muslim-majority countries?
So far, this president has managed to cause tremendous upset that crosses racial, socioeconomic and gender lines. One member of the resistance against this current administration, Helene Cohen Bludman, traces her activist roots all the way back to the Watergate scandal, as a result of which she marched in protests as a college student at Georgetown University. She stayed involved by volunteering at local polling booths, but the 2016 election cycle presented an opportunity to resume a more active role by canvassing and phone banking for the Clinton campaign.
“After the election, I felt like something opened up in me that had lay dormant for years, only now it was 10 times as powerful. I felt an outrage that our country had been led into a quagmire by a con man. Now the gloves came off,” she tells SheKnows.
Matthew Miles Goodrich, a Brooklyn-based organizer who founded one of the first fossil fuel divestment campaigns in 2012, had a similar breaking point after the election, but notes a silver lining that keeps him motivated in the resistance: “The election itself was a moment of grief mingled with fear and rage… Now it's a matter of making sure those people (those who showed up to protest following the election) stay engaged –– that's the question that gives me anxiety.”
Goodrich is far from alone in his worries about building a sustainable future of the resistance. Dr. Adam Fried, a clinical psychologist based in Scottsdale, Arizona, describes the difficult mental challenge activism poses for those who commit their time and emotional capital to various causes.
“Activists are more likely to have deeply felt emotional investments and commitments to a lot of social justice causes, which can create a lot stress for them, perhaps because they don’t see things changing as fast as they’d like them to,” he tells SheKnows.
Furthermore, protesters who show up to the front lines of marches (Goodrich says he’s participated in roughly 10 marches and rallies since the election, and Bludman walked in the Women’s March in Philadelphia, as well as immigration ban protests at the Philadelphia airport) are more likely to be the target of police brutality, which Fried says increases stress levels that, if prolonged, are a surefire recipe for what the psychological community calls “burnout.”
The symptoms? Exhaustion, anger, decreased self-efficacy and cynicism. Fried believes that in order for activists to sustain their involvement in healthy ways, they must be mindful of the emotional and physical demands of their work. In the case that burnout symptoms do appear, he emphasizes the need for self-care mechanisms and personalized coping strategies, such as meditation or exercise.
But before things sour and reach that burnout stage, there’s a critical high point for activists that can actually be a great source of mental peace: the feeling of camaraderie.
“Being with others of like mind is very helpful and comforting. I really felt that in the marches I've attended. It feels good being with people who are as outraged as I am,” Bludman says.
A recent New York Times article backs up Bludman’s sentiment, citing spikes in viewership for left-leaning channels like MSNBC in the months following the election. Fried says that following an upset like this election, many Americans might start to believe that while they were once in the majority, that may no longer be the case.
But activism at any level can be reaffirming, he says: “The feeling that you’re not just unhappy but that you, on a personal level, are actually doing something about it, that part of social justice can be very uplifting.”
Many have at least heard of Passover, but it's safe to say that most people who aren't Jewish don't know what the eight-day festival really is — and in order to fully grasp the important holiday that celebrates the liberation of the Israelites from Egyptian slavery, you need to have a good understanding of the Seder plate.
The Seder is a symbolic meal that marks the passage of the Jewish people from a time of bondage to a time of freedom. This traditional meal typifies different parts of the Passover story, using different foods. During the Seder, the haggadah is read to tell the story of the exodus from Egypt. Children are often called upon to explain the meaning of each item on the Seder plate and also to read the four questions, which begin with, “Why is this night different from all other nights?”
On the Seder plate, customarily presented on a beautiful silver dish, you'll find six spaces that each have their own unique meaning.
Image: Mitch Hrdlicka/Getty Images, Graphic by Karen Cox/SheKnows
1. Maror
Bitter herbs, usually horseradish, represent the bitterness of slavery. Grated horseradish root or jarred horseradish can be used and typically eaten on a piece of matzo.
Often only one bitter herb (horseradish) is used on Passover, but there are two places on the seder plate. In the U.S. people typically use romaine lettuce as the second bitter herb.
3. Charoset
A sweet mixture of roughly chopped apples, walnuts, cinnamon and red wine, charoset represents the mortar that was used to construct the storehouses by the Jewish people when they were slaves in ancient Egypt.
Here, parsley or another green vegetable symbolizes the coming of spring. In the Ashkenazi tradition, it is dipped in salt water, which represents the tears of the Jewish people when they were slaves.
5. Z’roa
The lamb shank bone is the one part of the Seder plate that is not eaten during the dinner. Instead, it serves as a visual reminder of the special Passover sacrificial lamb offered at the temple in Jerusalem before its destruction.
Often eaten with salt water, hard-boiled eggs are a symbol of life. It is also said to represent the second offerings presented at the temple in Jerusalem, sorrow at its destruction and the hope that it will be rebuilt.
According to Common Sense Media, teenagers spend an average of nine hours a day using media — and a significant portion of that use involves social media. Teens are congregating online, in Facebook messenger, on Instagram group chats, on Snapchat, Houseparty, Kik… the number of social media destinations seems to increase every day. And as the landscape evolves, the opportunities for our kids to get hurt — or hurt others — increases.
We asked our Hatch teens to tell us how they communicate with their friends and what they feel are the risks and opportunities that come from socializing online. The takeaway? While this kind of social media use is completely natural for our Hatch teens, they’re more than aware of the downside. They’ve seen the pain that a cruel joke or a shared rumor can cause. But that doesn’t mean they’re going to stop using social media. They're smart enough to know that it's important to be respectful and kind. As one teen put it, “It’s all about the choices that you make.”
Cue the Mini Cooper jokes! Bradley Cooper and girlfriend Irina Shayk's bundle of (probably) (definitely) photogenic joy has arrived on the scene. A source reported the couple's first child wafted gently out of Shayk's Victoria's Secret-swathed body two weeks ago, and everyone is doing fine.
Except for us. We're cranky that Cooper and Shayk have so far declined to mention if it's a girl or a boy — information too precious for commoners with weak chins and less than optimal bone structure.
We're sure we'll hear about the sex of the baby eventually, but now it will just make us melancholy, like hearing about a wedding we weren't invited to.
The closest thing we have to a picture of the baby is Shayk's baby bump featured in a completely black ensemble in Disneyland back in February. Shayk was spotted there in a Minnie Mouse headband having a meet-and-greet with Pluto. (Could they have named their kid Minnie or Pluto? Oh, please, Universe, we are craving some weird celebrity baby names right now.)
Though active on Instagram, Shayk has been tight-lipped on the mysterious new arrival. The couple will be raising their child in Los Angeles — the City of Victoria's Secret Angels and painfully good-looking people.
“It seems L.A. is now their home base,” another source reported. “When they are together in L.A., they are very low-key and mostly hang out at home.” (We're imagining honorary auntie Jennifer Lawrence stopping by to liven things up. She would be a really fun babysitter, that one.)
Reps for Shayk and Cooper did not respond to requests for comment on the new arrival. Yawwwwn. Thanks, guys. We'll just hang around listlessly waiting for more information. No big deal. We've got nothing better to do.
