I married a veterinary student who will, presumably, be a full-fledged veterinarian one of these days. At that magical point in time, veterinary bills will evaporate (replaced with student loans) and I won’t ever have to worry about paying full price for a visit to the veterinarian again.
Until that time, vet bills are one of those things that can drain my bank account at the drop of a hat.
Here are seven ways you can cut down on veterinary care without compromising your pet’s health.
1. Go to the vet
I know, you’re thinking I just lied to you, but one of the best ways to save money on veterinary care is to catch a problem before it becomes expensive. Keeping your pet up to date on vaccines and preventatives will spare you a chunk of change down the line. Let me elaborate.
Fed up with paying for heartworm prevention? Try paying for heartworm treatment. Trust me. Your wallet will hate you, and so will your dog. The same goes for treating tick-borne diseases and life-threatening illnesses like distemper. Prevention will save you a lot of money and possibly your pet’s life.
2. Grooming
Brushing your dog on a regular basis might not seem like it will save you money, but regular grooming is right up there with prevention in cutting costs. Not only will your pet’s coat look healthy, but you will also notice any changes in their coat, skin or body, which will keep you one step ahead of diseases and infections.
Brushing your dog’s teeth will save you a lot of money on dental treatments. This is especially true for smaller dogs and dogs who do not chew. Plus, it will keep their breath fresh and cut down on the risks of dental disease.
We all know that exercise is good for our health, longevity and emotional well-being. The same is true for pets. Keeping your pet physically active will reduce their risk of obesity and obesity-related diseases like diabetes and joint problems and save you money on vet visits and medications.
There are places to cut corners on cost, and pet food is not one of them. You don’t have to feed a pricey premium diet, but you should feed a decent brand in appropriate portions. Think about what would happen to you if you lived off cheeseburgers and ramen.
6. Learn basic animal first aid
Knowing basic first aid for your pet can help you deal with minor scrapes and aches. Talk to your veterinarian about what you can do for minor illnesses or accidents and have a thermometer on hand so you can determine if your pet has a fever. Oh, and ask your vet about how to safely take that temperature too, or else your pet may never forgive you.
7. Talk to your vet about financial concerns
People have this idea that veterinarians must be in it for the money. This could not be further from the truth. Your veterinarian wants to help your pet, and they want to help you help your pet to the best of your ability.
Be upfront about your financial concerns and talk to your vet about payment plans if your pet requires care outside your price range and the office offers them. Your veterinarian is not going to give you free care, but they will help you come up with a range of options to help you make the most informed choice.
Our days are a symphony of movements — from mundane tasks like brushing our teeth to making the coffee, typing up our reports and driving our cars, cooking dinner and preparing for bed again — and the conductors of this symphony are our motor and sensory systems. Our eyes and our brains, nerves, muscles and bones work in tandem to keep us coordinated and balanced as we move through the world.
And most days, everything comes together in perfect harmony — so when we start to falter, to trip up the stairs or bump into tables or to drop our keys on our front porch, it can be cause for alarm. Clumsiness can be part and parcel of several serious medical conditions, including Parkinson’s disease, cerebral palsy, multiple sclerosis or even a stroke. However, most of our everyday oopsies aren’t cause for concern, even for people who might describe themselves as chronically clumsy.
In essence, what we’d define as clumsiness, or a lack of coordination and balance, is about how rapidly and efficiently our brains absorb and process information — we don’t register that, hey, there’s a pothole coming up in the road ahead and we better swerve our bikes in the next 10 seconds, so over the handlebars we go.
Sometimes, this slow processing speed is the result of a momentary distraction. Other times, it’s the result of prolonged stress or worrying. David Broadbent, a British experimental psychologist, began to question whether accident-prone people suffered from a low-grade yet chronic kind of cognitive failure and even developed a self-reported cognitive failures questionnaire (sample questions include: “Do you fail to notice signposts in the road?” and “Do you fail to hear people speaking to you when you are doing something else?”).
According to the cognitive failure theory, people who find themselves answering yes to a lot of these questions can regain some coordination and focus. By partaking in mindfulness training and meditation or using brain games to get our gray matter back in fighting form.
That said, research suggests that there are, indeed, times when our bodies simply won’t cooperate with us — even when we’re simply trying to walk up a flight of stairs.
During our teenage years, our physical development can happen so quickly that our brains and nervous systems simply don’t have time to recalibrate information about the size, speed and movement of our limbs.
Women are prone to bouts of clumsiness during certain times in their lives. Though we’d like to imagine all pregnant women as blissfully lit-from-within bastions of life and serenity, in fact, pregnancy can be laden with stubbed toes and dropped papers — after all, baby bumps do change a woman’s center of gravity, and the hormones that relax her joints in preparation for childbirth also impact her manual dexterity and reactivity. Changes in hormone levels can also make women who are about to start their periods extra clumsy. Lowered levels of progesterone have deleterious effects on our vision, hand steadiness and coordination of movements. Starting the pill can help balance out hormone levels and keep us from turning into accidental bulls in the china shop.
The good news is that some of the things we should be doing to live healthier, more productive lives are some of the best ways to combat clumsiness. Getting plenty of rest as well as mental and physical activity is essential for getting body and mind back to their best potential and back in synch with each other — because, even though they might not have you dancing the lead in Swan Lake, they ensure that every safe step you take is a piece of beautiful music.
In the hours after a terrorist attack in London left four dead and 40 injured, both Queen Elizabeth and the Duchess of Cambridge, the former Kate Middleton, are speaking out about the tragedy.
Kate was attending an event Thursday to launch a series of educational videos that aim to raise awareness of maternal mental health challenges. The event was a partnership between her mental health awareness charity Heads Together and other organizations.
"Before I begin, I know you would all want to join me in sending our thoughts and prayers to all those sadly affected by yesterday’s terrible attack in Westminster," Kate said to the crowd at the event. "We will be thinking of all the families as we discuss the important issues we’re here to talk about."
"Following the shocking events in Westminster, Prince Philip and I are sorry that we will not be able to open the New Scotland Yard building as planned today, for very understandable reasons. I look forward to visiting at a later date," the queen said in a statement. "My thoughts, prayers, and deepest sympathy are with all those who have been affected by yesterday's awful violence. I know I speak for everyone in expressing my enduring thanks and admiration for the members of the Metropolitan Police Service and all who work so selflessly to help and protect others."
According to a palace spokesperson, the queen will reschedule opening the new police building for a later date.
She may be a duchess, but the former Kate Middleton isn't immune to the pressure of being a perfect mother.
The duchess (whom we will still stubbornly refer to as "Princess Kate" behind closed doors) kicked off an initiative to promote better mental health in early parenthood — a cause close to her heart. The mother of mini-royals Prince George and Princess Charlotte spoke today at the Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists in London at a reception for the Best Beginnings' Out of the Blue series, a collection of educational films that address mental health in parents and children.
Best Beginnings works closely with Heads Together, the mental health organization supported by Prince Harry, Prince William and Kate.
As usual, Duchess Catherine was classy as hell, eloquent and warm. And yes, if you must know, her outfit was fantastic. (She really does make this whole royal thing look like a walk in the park.)
"Personally, becoming a mother has been such a rewarding and wonderful experience," she said. "However, at times it has also been a huge challenge, even for me who has support at home that most mothers do not.
"Nothing can really prepare you for you the sheer overwhelming experience of what it means to become a mother," she added. "It is full of complex emotions of joy, exhaustion, love and worry, all mixed together. Your fundamental identity changes overnight. You go from thinking of yourself as primarily an individual to suddenly being a mother, first and foremost. And yet there is no rule book, no right or wrong — you just have to make it up and do the very best you can to care for your family."
Sure, the word "refreshing" sounds like we're talking about iced tea, but Kate's candor and willingness to speak from a personal perspective are exactly that. Kate is not afraid to give voice to her own insecurities and fears regarding motherhood, and we're grateful.
The duchess admitted that she often struggles as a mother with a "lack of confidence and feelings of ignorance." (Not exactly something we're betting her grandmother-in-law, Queen Elizabeth, would have shared back when she was a new mom.)
Two in 10 women experience depression, anxiety or other acute mental health issues during and after pregnancy, Kate told the attendees.
"Many of these women also suffer in silence, overwhelmed by negative feelings, but also afraid to admit to the struggles they are facing due to the fear or shame of what others might think if they 'aren’t coping,'" Kate said.
"Some of this fear is about the pressure to be a perfect parent; pretending we're all coping perfectly and loving every minute of it. It's right to talk about motherhood as a wonderful thing, but we also need to talk about its stresses and strains. It’s OK not to find it easy. Asking for help should not be seen as a sign of weakness," she continued.
Tell us again why she can't be the next queen? What is this "line of ascendancy" of which you speak?
Kate added, "If any of us caught a fever during pregnancy, we would seek advice and support from a doctor. Getting help with our mental health is no different — our children need us to look after ourselves and get the support we need.
"Conversations are crucial for mental wellbeing and they should be part of everyday family life. Talking about a problem with a friend or another trusted person can be the beginning of getting better," she said. "This week, as we look forward to Mother’s Day, I would love to see everyone celebrate and value the fundamental importance that mothers play in family life."
While one Olsen twin is settling into domestic bliss with her husband, the other is back on the market. That's right — after just five months of dating, Ashley Olsen and her financier boyfriend, Richard Sachs, have called it quits.
A source close to Olsen spilled the news to Us Weekly, saying the split was because Olsen wants to focus more on work than a boyfriend, and she and Sachs are staying friendly.
"Ashley and Richard broke up," the insider said. "She wants to focus on her clothing line right now. They're still friends and hang out."
Olsen and Sachs were first rumored to be dating in October 2016, and they went public about a month later when they went on a double date with Mary-Kate Olsen and her husband, Olivier Sarkozy, to a New York Knicks game. Ashley Olsen and her beau were photographed kissing at the game, confirming that the rumors about their romance were true.
Onlookers said the foursome went to a party after the game, where it became really evident that Ashley Olsen and Sachs were solidly together.
"Mary-Kate was dancing with her husband, and Ashley's boyfriend had his arm around her and was nuzzling her," a witness told Us Weekly at the time. "Richard had his arms all over Ashley, kissing and [stroking] her hair. She was laughing and giggling. He's also close with Mary-Kate's husband and was chatting with him."
Just last month, the Olsen twins both took their men to New Zealand for a friend's wedding, making news of Ashley Olsen and Sachs' split a little more surprising. Mary-Kate Olsen, meanwhile, is rumored to be getting ready to start a family with Sarkozy.
In a world where women like Cara Delevingne and Lily Collins are lauded for their bold eyebrows, it can be tough to look at your own and feel like they don’t measure up. Still, natural brow density isn’t the only road to great arches. That’s right: You can fake it too.
To get all the info on how to fill in your brows in four super-easy steps, we chatted with makeup artist and brow connoisseur Ashleigh Ciucci. See how she can make even the sparsest arches look well-endowed.
Pixels and Brows IG
Pixels and Brows IG
Pick favorites
Ciucci believes we all have a “good brow" and a “bad brow” — and you probably already have a favorite. “Pick the brow that you like the best and use this brow as your guide for how to shape the other,” says Ciucci.
Get in shape
That old-school pencil trick you’ve probably heard? “It really does work,” says Ciucci. “First, place the pencil vertically along the bridge of your nose, almost in the indentation of your nostril. Where it passes through the brow is where you should begin shading. Then line it up vertically with your pupil — where it passes through your brow is where your arch should be. Lastly, line it up vertically at the outer corner of your eye. That's how far out you should shade the tail.”
Seal the deal
Not sure if you should use a brow pencil or a gel? Ciucci says it’s best to use both for a natural look. “I like to brush with a tinted brow gel first, like Glossier’s Boy Brow, and then go back with pencil to fill any empty spots. I like Benefit Precisely My Brow Pencil.” She finishes by brushing them up with a spoolie for a fuller appearance. But if you’re truly brow-challenged with a lack of hair, “use a tinted pomade like Anastasia Dipbrow Pomade along with a stiff angled brush, like Chanel Angled Brow Brush No. 12 to draw tiny little hairs."
Clean it up
If you’re trying to grow out your brows, you should avoid plucking or waxing, but once you’ve got your shape, “cleaning up those spare hairs will open up the eye and keep the shape looking clean,” says Ciucci, who says stray hairs can look unkempt if you’re not careful.
According to statistics from the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, about 3,700 U.S. infants died suddenly and unexpectedly in 2015 — and most of these deaths occurred while babies were in an unsafe sleeping environment. And we all know most of the basics when it comes to putting your baby to sleep: share your room with your baby for the first six months, lay your baby down on their back and avoid the urge to adorn the crib with blankets and all those adorable stuffed animals.
These recommendations are intended to keep your baby from rolling over or becoming suffocated. With that in mind, is the best option to put your baby in an actual box?
Maybe. The boxes, which have been successfully distributed in Finland since the early 1900s, include a firm mattress with tight fitted sheets and are topped with some other newborn essentials, like clothes, hats, and wash cloths. Then you simply take the stuff out and put your baby in. The kid doesn't roll, and you can be at ease. Sounds pretty simple.
The hardest part is probably coming to terms with the fact that you’re letting your precious child sleep in the same thing your latest Amazon shipment arrived in. But when you think about it, these things are stable, cheap and easily portable, making it a viable option for mothers who travel or perhaps cannot afford extravagant baby furniture.
The World Health Organization shows some promising evidence for the potential of baby boxes: following their public introduction in Finland, the country's infant mortality rates dropped from 65 deaths per 1,000 infants in 1938 to 1.3 deaths per 1,000 infants in 2013. This makes for one of the world's lowest infant mortality rates. More research is needed to tell us if the boxes themselves are the actual cause of decrease, but at the very least, the initiative is educating new parents — especially high-risk expectant mothers — about the proper yet simplistic techniques to use to ensure a baby’s well-being.
For now, they’re only found in Ohio and New Jersey. But who knows? With twins on the way, Beyoncé might just be choosing cardboard this time around.
Plot synopsis: Two gay interior designers — who also happen to be married to each other — save the world from bad home renovations, raise an adorable toddler daughter and squabble endearingly.
The series marks a much-awaited return to television for Oprah pal Berkus and gives a zesty real-life, real-family twist to the usual home-makeover TV genre.
The premise: We get to follow the husbands in LA as they redesign the hell out of horrific houses gone wrong. And you know, fight like old married people and raise their cute kid.
“It’s a renovation show, but you’re also getting to come into the lives of two gay dads and their family, so that’s a great thing in and of itself,” said Brent.
“You can see that we’re just like you,” Brent added. “We both believe in opening up the doors and letting people know that we love the way you love. We eat dinner the way you eat dinner. Everything about us is the same, and as cliché as the saying is, love is love. That’s exactly what the show is about.”
The show promises plenty of (endearing and photogenic) conflict, as Berkus and Brent say they don't always see eye to eye.
“Design is the one thing that we always agree on,” said Berkus.
“I’d say that we always end up agreeing,” joked Brent.
A new book about former CEO of Paramount Pictures Sherry Lansing reveals that Cruise got into a tiff with John Goldwyn, a former president of production at Paramount. Goldwyn was getting divorced, and when he mentioned Scientology in his divorce papers, Cruise interpreted it as an attack on him and the religion.
"Only once did Cruise’s beliefs affect his professional relationships: during a confrontation with Goldwyn," the book reads, adding that the argument happened in 2003 after Goldwyn's court papers stated that he believed his wife's involvement in the Church of Scientology was "being applied to alienate the affection" of their daughter.
"Tom got very upset because he thought I was launching a campaign against Scientology, and he felt I was persecuting him for his religion," Goldwyn told Page Six. "Tom was rabid about it and said, 'It’s because of people like you that I have to ride in a bulletproof car and why I cannot practice my faith openly.'"
Goldwyn added that things were particularly shaky because Cruise, the star of the Mission Impossible franchise, was integral to Paramount at the time.
"Sherry was amazing as an executive and a friend. She stepped in and saved the situation by saying, 'I’ve known John for years, and he isn’t a bigot. This is about his daughter.' Tom immediately calmed down," Goldwyn explained.
Actress Casey Wilson (Marry Me, American Dad!) announced on her podcast, Bitch Sesh, that she is with child.
"Some big news on my end, which is that I am pregnant again," Wilson told her podcast listeners. "I’m so excited. I was feeling so sick for about a month."
This will be Wilson's second child with husband David Caspe, a producer and writer. The couple met on the set of an ABC show he created, Happy Endings. Turns out it really was one for these two, who married in Ojai, California, in 2014. Their first child, Max, was born in 2015.
But it wasn't a guaranteed happy ending. In fact, things looked pretty iffy for a while there. Wilson was pining for Caspe for quite a while — and had almost given up hope that they'd ever get together.
"I don't want to say I was more into David than he was into me, but we had been working together for about a year before we started dating. I really liked him, but there was nothing I could do, which is really hard for women, especially because we want to make things happen," Wilson said.
"I ultimately started dating other people, but not to [make him jealous]. I actually had to go to that darker place of, 'I don't think this is going to happen.' I started dating other people just to get out there. I think it bothered him, though he said it didn't. His sister said to him, 'You know she's going to date other people.' So then he was like, 'OK, let's give this a try.'"
Not sure why he waited so long, but we're glad he came to his senses. Not only does Wilson have the coolest-named podcast around, she's also a Saturday Night Live alum, which means she's 1) funny 2) still funny after midnight when Baby No. 2 has just blown out his or her fifth diaper in two hours. That's the kind of woman you want as a partner for sure.
Crafting with small children can be an exercise in patience. Surprisingly, it’s not always the enjoyable, tidy endeavor Pinterest would have you believe.
But we’re here to help. Here are eight crafts you can do with your kids that won’t make you want to scream into a bag of pom-poms. They’re easy to do (I’m not one for tedious labor), fun and cute. Basically, they’re winners, and after you complete them, your children will adore you for being the best.
I love organization, so stashing craft supplies in a mobile shelving unit (like this one from Michaels) is a great way to get started. Now my kids and I just pull our craft cubby up to the kitchen table when we’re doing a project. For more tips on setting up an art space and sorting supplies, check out this blog post from craft supply site Ooly.
Mason jar aquarium
There’s just something cool about making a tiny ocean environment in a jar! Plus, now you have a use for all those Mason jars left over from your wedding. (Or your sister’s wedding or your third cousin's — look, you probably know someone who had a Mason jar-strewn wedding.) Start your aquarium with some rocks or other ground cover, add plastic plants (like from a pet store) and sea life figurines. Tiny whales are the cutest! Then fill the jar with water and blue food coloring. You could also add glitter (and a few drops of glycerin, which makes the glitter move more slowly). Now screw the lid on and voilà — you’ve got an aquarium! Great for the child who’s always asking for a fish. Get the nitty-gritty at Hello, Wonderful.
These felt cookies from Life Is a Party have faces and are therefore too cute not to include. If your kids are anything like mine, they love chocolate chip cookies, and they love their play kitchen. Boom, felt play cookies FTW. The embroidered faces may have to be done by a parent (unless you’ve got an older kid who knows their way around a needle and thread). If you want to cut out the sewing, I’ve found that hot gluing felt works well, it just doesn’t look as nice and finished. If you love the way your cookies turn out, get crazy and make felt pizza slices, felt donuts… the sky’s the limit on fake food, guys.
These are so popular right now, but buying bath bombs can get pricey. Why not put your kids to work and make your own fizzies? This is a craft that you’ll actually want to use yourself. Plus, after you use it, it’s gone and you don’t have to worry about sneaking it into the trash. There are so many cute variations out there, but the girl. Inspired blog has a nice tutorial for kid-friendly bath bombs featuring confetti and a surprise inside! Mom will love the sweet orange and rosemary scent.
Maybe you can’t have your own HGTV-ready tiny house, but you can make one for a pretend sprite, damn it. Channel your inner Joanna Gaines and put together an adorable abode. OK, you can let your kid help too.
Living Well Mom has a fun tutorial incorporating a Popsicle stick/Kleenex box house into a small container filled with dirt. Add rocks or glass stones for paving stones, glue some button chairs and maybe plant a few little things. You can really customize this and go as crazy as you want, which in my case is pretty crazy.
Remember making these yarn delights at camp? Grab some Popsicle sticks and get nostalgic! Yarn crafts are pretty cool right now, so you could potentially display your child’s handiwork in your home. For instructions on exactly how to wrap the yarn (or ribbon or other weaving material), visit PBS Parents.
What is it about slime? This sensory experience will never get old. Take it up a notch by putting some glitter into the mix! You only need three ingredients to make glitter slime: glitter glue, Borax and water. The 36th Avenue blog has the down-low on this squishy activity. It’s a simple mix, and even toddlers can squirt the glitter glue into the bowl. When you’ve finished playing, you can store your slime in old glass baby food jars or those Mason jars we mentioned.
This craft is great for the littlest ones. Have your child find a cool stick outside, then wrap the stick with masking tape, sticky side out. Gather decorative materials on a nature walk or just a jaunt around your yard. Your little one can simply press their materials to the wand. Feathers, leaves, shiny rocks… anything that strikes their fancy. Speaking of fancy, if you’ve got more of a glam indoor kid (as I do), you could do fairy or princess wands, substituting natural materials for things like plastic gem stones and glitter. Wands come in handy for all sorts of pretend play! Check out the blog Laughing Kids Learn for more details.
So cute! Pom-poms are so hot right now, so your craft-savvy child will enjoy making fluffy bunnies from them. This tutorial and template from Designs by Miss Mandee shows you how to make a garland out of the bunnies, but you could also just play with them or include them in spring decor or Easter baskets.
Target has announced that it's planning to redesign hundreds of its stores across the country, starting in Richmond, Texas. The brand is spending billions of dollars (yes, billions — I guess my Target beauty aisle splurges haven't been for naught) to makeover their stores with "the company's most ambitious store redesign to date," and judging from the few pictures available, it really does seem like they're taking the store's look to the next level.
The Richmond store — the redesign "tester" store — will boast new features to make shopping even easier: There will be two entrances — one for regular shoppers and one for people picking up online orders or going through self-checkout to grab groceries, beer and wine. There will also be parking spaces dedicated to online shoppers who've placed orders, but don't want to get out of the car — employees will bring merch right to your window (which will be a great perk for older people, those with medical issues, parents with young kids and... the very, very lazy among us).
The new interior design looks like it'll be a lot more modern and easier on the eyes — less blinding white linoleum, more wood paneling and curved aisles that will make gliding through the different departments a little easier and more intuitive. There will also be large windows to let in natural light (something severely lacking in most big-box stores), and a revamp of the stores' existing lighting (bye, fluorescence!). The food department is getting a sleek makeover too, with drop ceilings that will help mask the industrial warehouse vibe that Target stores have now.
Employees will also be able to help you pay without going to a register, so if you find yourself done with shopping and an employee is nearby, they can ring you up then and there. That'll help cut down on long register lines (nothing kills a shopping high like a long wait to check out, amirite?).
Target plans to renovate 40 of their stores by October (I'm praying that includes the one near me!) and then will proceed with 500 more stores in 2018 and 2019 after collecting guest feedback on the new designs. A more streamlined shopping experience with better interior design? Like I needed an excuse to spend more of my money!
Anyone who’s been in a serious long-term relationship knows the journey isn’t without certain challenges. Add a significant age gap into the mix—we’re talking a decade or more—and you’ve probably experienced the highest of highs and the lowest of lows.
I know this firsthand, as I’m 25 years old, and I’ve been dating an older guy nearly 15 years my senior for almost four years. While you figure out the math, let me be clear that I’ve met several other women in their early- to mid-20s who also prefer to date from a much older pool for various reasons.
And while cliché dictates that, sure, men are into it, there’s been some recent research done about why younger females often gravitate toward mature men. Evolutionary psychologists say that relationships like this often occur because while fertility lasts only from puberty to menopause in women, it starts at puberty and can extend long into midlife for lots of men. That means there’s a strategic advantage for women to snag an older gent—he’s had more time to accumulate resources and stability than his younger counterparts, which could make him a more viable partner and father.
Now, I’m not saying these are conscious reasons why I’m dating a man quite a bit older—there have been several moments when I’ve thought that going out with someone closer to my age would be much simpler. I even tried it when my boyfriend (manfriend?) and I took a short break, and I found it was painstakingly difficult and more complicated than my experience dating an older guy.
You know what I’m taking about. The texting games (How long should I wait to text him back? Why isn’t he texting me back? Should I not be the first to text? It’s exhausting), the fear of commitment that plagues most twentysomethings, and the simple fact that most guys my age aren’t as emotionally mature as I am.
It can be tough when you and your older partner can’t share childhood commonalities (dude’s never read a Goosebumps book!?), but the benefits can certainly outweigh those little things. That said, there are not-so-little things that can cause friction too.
Keeping in mind what I’ve learned from my own relationship and anecdotes I’ve picked up from women in similar situations, I’ve outlined the perks and challenges of dating an older man.
Image: Jason Statham and Rosie Huntington-Whiteley: 20 years apart. (Photo: WENN.com)
The perks
He’s often financially stable.
I get asked a lot of questions about my boyfriend’s finances (why else would I date someone much older, right?). It’s not actually anybody’s business, but I can tell you that I’ve never dated anyone because of money. In general, there’s a stigma that a younger woman dates an older man because he’s more powerful and can essentially take care of her.
And while that may be true for some, a 2010 study by the University of Dundee in Scotland found that as women become more financially independent, their taste may skew toward older (and better-looking) men. What does that mean? As a woman becomes more confident in her own career and finances, she seeks a partner who matches that, which often is not a 25-year-old guy.
To be clear, my boyfriend isn’t rich, but he’s picked up one important habit over the years: investing. I have to admit it’s comforting to be in a serious relationship with someone who’s somewhat financially responsible (read: less impulsive). From what I’ve gathered, a man in his 20s is more likely to blow his cash on frivolous things, while men in their 30s and are likely to save money for the future or for experiences, like a romantic vacation (wink, wink).
No more texting games.
“He texted me an hour after I texted him.” “What should I text him back?” Sound familiar? I can still remember the days when I’d utter those words and essentially have an anxiety attack every time my phone buzzed and it was a guy my own age I’d been casually seeing. When I first started dating my boyfriend, it threw me off when he didn’t text me, but—wait for it—called me instead.
And continued to call when he said he would and replied to messages fairly quickly. In general, dating games are rather boring to a guy who’s probably had his fair share. This alone is a reason why I refuse to go back into the dating pool with guys my own age.
Image: Olivier Sarkozy and Mary-Kate Olsen: 17 years apart. (Photo: Getty Images)
His confidence gets major points.
When I’m out, the guys I seem to attract are generally in their mid- to late-30s. Rarely do younger guys approach me. To find out why, I asked a straight twentysomething male friend, who pointed out that younger guys are simply intimidated. After all, going up to a total stranger in a bar and making an impression isn’t easy, and it takes a certain amount of confidence, which often comes with age.
Persistence also takes confidence—my boyfriend extended three invitations before I finally agreed to get coffee with him. As Aaliyah once said, “If at first you don’t succeed, dust yourself off and try again.” Older men know this.
He’s chock-full of knowledge.
I won’t lie: It can be annoying at times dating someone who has “been there/done that,” but it can also be helpful when your partner can use his experiences to guide you. I can recall numerous situations—work issues, arguments with people—that my boyfriend was able to help me with based on his own mistakes and victories. Plus, when it comes to things like taxes, real estate, and life hacks that you pick up over time, an older guy can be a goldmine of useful information.
Jealousy takes a backseat.
I dated a guy right before my boyfriend who was really … clingy. I’m the kind of girl who looks up to independent women, and I tend to put my girlfriends before dating. He just didn’t get that and wanted to be around every second. I don’t necessarily think that he wanted to hang exclusively with me all the time, but I think he felt insecure that I’d meet other guys when I went out with friends.
One thing I’m incredibly grateful for is not having to deal with jealousy in my current relationship. Sure, it occasionally happens, but my boyfriend understands that being in a codependent relationship leads to all sorts of trouble and that spending time apart sometimes is key.
The Challenges
Getting awkward questions (wait, how do you know each other?!).
I find it difficult to explain to people how my relationship came to be. I’m often asked how we met—and not in a giddy kind of way (it’s more like concern). People are shocked when I respond “mutual friends.” How could a girl in her early 20s be friends with people in their late 30s? Well, I was (and still am) friends with a select crew of musicians and creatives in Los Angeles, and my boyfriend happened to be a part of that scene.
I get the impression that people outside my inner circle wonder if I’m lying and that maybe he picked me up at a hotel bar or something cliché like that. Other inquire whether I was purposely seeking an older man when I met him. (Spoiler alert: I wasn’t.)
Introducing him to your family won’t be easy.
I was dead nervous to reveal my boyfriend’s age to my parents, so much so that I stalled introducing them for six months. If your family is fairly protective, especially your dad, it can be a pretty nerve-racking conversation. What helped me most was talking about how wonderful he is a lot leading up to their meet and asking my older sister to talk to them too.
You can’t expect him to drop his life to chase your dreams.
Starting out in the fashion media industry isn’t an easy task, especially when you have zero connections. That’s where I was when I first met my boyfriend. I was a fresh-out-of-college aspiring digital fashion writer with no clue on how to break in. My boyfriend had been steadily working in his field for years, so it was hard to get him to understand things I felt I had to do in order to find success in my field.
Luckily, my boyfriend understands how important my career is to me, so there was never a question if I wanted to take chances like moving back and forth from Los Angeles to New York for amazing opportunities at dream companies or postponing planned dates because there was an event or story I needed to cover. But being with someone who has an established career and fully formed network hasn’t made it easy.
I’m aware that he will probably never move back to the East Coast, and I sometimes feel like I’m constantly straddling the line between doing everything I can to succeed in my career and maintaining my relationship.
Image: Alec and Hilaria Baldwin: 26 years apart. (Photo: WENN)
Get used to the fact that he’s lived a whole life before you met.
While I don’t have to deal with an ex-wife, stepkids, or any other ties to a former personal life—I don’t think I’d be able to handle that kind of responsibility yet—I know it can be a huge challenge for women who are in that situation. If your future with your boyfriend is important to you, these things might take a lot of talking and compromise to fit into your current life.
Your friends are very different.
“You can bring [insert boyfriend’s name] if you want, but he might get bored.” I get that a lot. It doesn’t come from a negative place on my friends’ part, but they often don’t know how to react to my bringing someone who’s significantly older than them. I’ve done it, of course, and have witnessed some awkward exchanges between their twentysomething boyfriends and my own. It’s just something to get used to.
I won’t take him to a house party where Two Buck Chuck flows like water, but I will bring him along for some casual barhopping. The same is true for me with his friends—I get bored sometimes hanging out with his friends’ girlfriends and wives. But it’s great to know the people that he considers his second family, to interact with friends that have witnessed him grow over the years, and to learn more about him through them.
As tricky as it can be at times to maintain your sanity in a relationship with someone older, if you love the guy as a person then it’s worth it. Not only has it taught me patience (which isn’t easy), but I’ve always been free to express myself and simply be me. He’s accepting.
Plus, it’s opened me up a whole network of people I wouldn’t have met and experiences I wouldn’t have otherwise had, which I feel has matured me a bit too. That’s not to say that I don’t act my age (trust me, my friends have the Snapchats to prove it), but I like that my relationship allows me to grow into the person I want to be.
I was born into a family of women who lose hair as they age. I've spent hours scouring the internet for ways to make thinning hair look thicker and fuller. I've tried tip after tip, all to no avail — with the exception of a rare good hair day, my locks have stayed flat, limp and uninspired, and they're getting worse.
After all the time I've spent trying to achieve my dream 'do with long, full locks, you can only imagine how excited I was to be able to chat with Allen Ruiz, Aveda's global style director for North America, and ask him for some tips to make thinning hair look voluminous and full (side note: How cool is my job?). He's an expert at taking hair from flat to fab, and he wants to share that knowledge with me — and the world. Here are his top eight secrets and tips for getting the body you want from your thinning hair.
1. Short cuts
If your hair is thinning, the last thing you probably want to do is cut it off, but Ruiz says that might be a solution that works.
"The more length you have, the more it can weigh down your roots and cause your hair to appear flat," Ruiz says. "By taking your cut short, you can maximize fullness and volume."
2. Smoke and mirrors
If you can't make it, fake it!
"If you have thinning hair with lots of breakage, I’d suggest trying extensions to create the appearance of having fuller/thicker hair," Ruiz says. "You can clip in hair extensions to instantly disguise problem areas."
Careful selection of products can result in hair that looks more voluminous, especially if you stay away from products that will weigh down your already thinning hair.
"What products and product forms you use are key," Ruiz says. "If you have thinning hair, you want to stay away from heavy and oil-based products. Avoid heavy crèmes, waxes, pastes and gels and opt for tonics, mousses and hair sprays."
4. Flip it and reverse it
Ruiz says a simple change in your hair routine can help create volume, which will help disguise the thinning of your hair.
"Flip your head upside down when blow-drying so you can really focus on getting lift at the roots," he explains.
5. Right of center
Another easy routine change-up can create instant volume — and give you a new look that totally camouflages your thinning hair.
"If you usually wear a center part, I recommend changing it; switch it to the right or to the left," Ruiz says. "This is an instant volume fix and will give you the appearance of having more lift and body."
6. Rough it
If you have thinning hair, ignore all those Pinterest tips about drying your hair with a soft T-shirt.
"When you get done washing your hair, instead of patting it dry gently with your towel, I recommend rubbing your hair dry, which will help rough up your hair’s cuticle and give you more texture/lift," Ruiz says.
7. Scalp massage
The scalp massage is the best part of any salon appointment, and it might even encourage your hair to grow — that's a win-win.
"Stimulating your scalp with a relaxing scalp massage can help remove scalp buildup and stimulate your follicles," Ruiz says. Use your fingers and your favorite essential oils to massage your scalp in a circular motion for five minutes.
As Ruiz puts it, "I love the Aveda Invati system of products for thinning hair. It's three simple steps, the products are lightweight and the aroma is amazing. It has been a lifesaver for my clients that are experiencing hair loss."
Puppies are good. We can all agree on this. Joe Biden, former United States vice president, is also good. If you don’t believe us, please see any of the innumerable amazing and admirable things he’s done not only for America but also for his friendship with President Obama. He’s a great guy, OK?
Joe Biden tweet
Joe Biden tweet
But combining puppies with Joe Biden — I challenge you to come up with anything purer. While you’re trying, check out these pictures, which will actually melt your heart.
Sydney, puppy Joe Biden’s owner, named her golden retriever after her favorite politician. “I really respect Joe Biden even though I don’t necessarily align with him politically,” she told BuzzFeed News.
Joe Biden insta 1a
Joe Biden insta 1a
She then brought little baby Biden to the capitol, where the former VP was speaking about the anniversary of the Affordable Care Act. Joe Biden the dog waited in line for four hours with his owner to meet his namesake, and the results were so cute, we barely know what to do with ourselves.
Joe Biden insta 2a
Joe Biden insta 2a
“As soon as he saw the dog during the actual speech, he pointed at the dog, tapped his friend and then started like cracking up. Right towards the end, I, like, kind of signaled him, and he, like, gave me a wink to come over,” Sydney said.
Then the two Bidens met, and the world exploded. Biden the human kissed Biden the dog when Sydney told him that the dog was named after him, which, of course he did.
Joe Biden 3a
Joe Biden 3a
So basically if your heart isn't overflowing with love and happiness right now, you probably need to check your pulse.
After a revealing episode dedicated to Kim Kardashian's robbery at gunpoint in Paris in October 2016, KUWTK is turning its gaze toward the traumatic incidents around another member of the family: Kendall Jenner. During the summer of 2016, Jenner's run-ins with an alleged stalker reportedly left her stunned and fearing for her safety. Now, KUWTK will return to that scary time.
Kendall Jenner KUWTK Stalker Promo
Kendall Jenner KUWTK Stalker Promo
On the latest promo clip for an upcoming episode of KUWTK, Jenner recounts a scary encounter with her alleged stalker to her mother, Kris Jenner, and Scott Disick. First, in a confessional, Jenner tells the audience, "I had someone break into my house. I used to be the one who was so independent. I was always kind of by myself, in a good way, but now it's, like, fully flipped." To hear the pain and fear in Jenner's voice echoing her half-sister's, which viewers experienced in previous episode, is a lot to take in. Knowing that Jenner was going through this incredibly scary incident reiterates that the price of being part of the Kardashian-Jenner family comes with its lows as well as its incredible highs.
Jenner continues, "So I came home one night and there was a guy sitting on the side of my street, and I was like, 'That's so weird.' He just looked like a homeless man. I drove around and went into my house and I watched the gate close. I turned my car off, getting my stuff together. I'm about to open my door and look in my rear-view mirror and he was standing right there. In the gate, right behind my car." According to Jenner, the man kept shouting through her car window that he needed to speak with her. Jenner reacted as any woman imaginably would and reportedly backed out of her driveway and drove away while calling friends and the police.
According to Us magazine, after Jenner testified against her alleged stalker, Shavaughn McKenzie, a restraining order was issued that he must stay 100 yards away from Jenner for the next five years. While that incident was safely put behind her in October of last year, Jenner was recently the victim of a burglary. Allegedly, someone close to Jenner was able to walk away with $200,000 of Jenner's jewelry.
Let's hope that this recent matter gets resolved quickly and that Jenner is able to stay out of harm's way from here on out.
If stressing out about money is the worst, then stressing out about it to the point that you start fighting with your partner is the absolute worst. But, unfortunately (as you're probably aware), it’s a pretty inevitable issue that most couples grapple with at some point.
“Along with sex, extended family and division of household labor, money is one of the main topics over which I see couples fight,” says licensed marriage and family therapist David Klow, owner of Skylight Counseling Center in Chicago. “Money can impact our survival, and when that's threatened, it can bring out some of our more primitive responses.”
And money stress doesn’t just make us behave badly. Regularly feuding about finances can damage the overall health of your relationship. In fact, board-certified psychiatrist Jay Bober says that regular money stress is the biggest predictor that a couple will get divorced.
One reason money's such a pressure point for most of us is that it highlights vulnerability, says licensed clinical psychologist Ramani Durvasula, author of Should I Stay or Should I Go?. “It impacts a couple in so many ways, from their day-to-day lives to their aspirations,” she says. “Money can also bring up difficult issues and feelings like inadequacy and fear of failure.” That's some serious stuff. In the interest of not letting your bank account balance drive a wedge between you and your S.O., here are some smart tactics to keep communication flowing and money-fueled fights at bay.
Talk about how money was handled when you were a kid
It’s important to understand where your S.O. is coming from when money is involved, says Klow. Maybe your partner grew up in a household where money was tight and that's why he or she freaks out at the idea of spending any disposable income, or maybe they come from a family of free spenders and can’t relate to the idea of being tight with funds. “Getting a better sense of one another's background and values around spending can help you create a collective plan for your financial life,” he says. “Clearly communicating and working together around finances can alleviate a lot of potential money stress.”
Make a budget — and stick to it
Sure, it’s the opposite of romantic, but it’s necessary. Be realistic about what you can and can’t afford and have the difficult conversations with your partner that might go along with that, Durvasula says. And no, that doesn't mean sacrificing date night. There are plenty of cheap dates that will keep the romance alive without running up your credit card balance.
Again, not cute, but it's important to figure out ground rules that you can both live with, says Bober. For instance, agree that you have to talk to each other first if you want to spend more than a certain amount each week. You may have to do a little give and take here. Bober says it’s crucial to acknowledge your differences, but find common ground to minimize fights about your rules down the road.
Have budget meetings
It sounds like something that should be left at the office, but communication and check-ins are key when it comes to managing your budget. “A budget is not a one-time deal — unfortunately, it has to be dealt with on a regular basis,” Durvasula says. To keep it from being a way-too-serious activity that you both dread, Durvasula recommends building in something fun like a nice meal or a movie that you’ll watch together afterward. Hey, rewards work!
Unite over goals
It can be soul-sucking to follow a budget with no payoff in mind, so Durvasula recommends having some shared financial goals that you’re working toward, like a vacation, down payment on a house or new car — whatever works that will put you on the same page and motivate you financially.
Call in a professional
If all else fails and money stress is taking a deep toll on your relationship, Durvasula recommends bringing in professional help, like an accountant, couples therapist or both. They should be able to help set you on the right path — sometimes a mediator is just what two fuming partners need to see just how much they actually agree on and move forward together with clarity.
Getting kids to listen is often a struggle for parents. Whether it’s a toddler squealing like a jet engine or a tween who pretends she doesn’t hear you, family communication can bring out the worst in us. We know yelling isn’t productive — but what else can a parent do to make sure her message gets across?
From tiny insects like crickets all the way up the food chain to whales — animals have all sorts of ways to communicate. Humans don’t do much flaring of feathers or emitting strong odors, but if we pay attention to how animals vocalize, we can learn some tricks to improve our own communication skills. See if these ideas from the animal world work for you at home.
Giant South American river turtles teach patience. These guys are huge and can seem silent, but that’s just because they take their time. Researchers (very patient ones) discovered the river turtles make a sound and can wait three hours until their next grunt. No word on how that impacts scheduling for feeding the little ones.
Human lesson: We tend to ask a question, wait two seconds, then ask another. But kids need some processing time to think about what you have asked and to determine how to respond. After you pose a question, try counting to six before saying anything. In other words — be patient. It will pay off.
Classroom teachers can testify to the power of silence. It can be terrifying or annoying to wait, but filling up empty conversational spaces is not the solution. Just wait. Breathe. Wait time is especially important if you have kids who get overwhelmed easily.
Vervet monkeys teach tailored warnings. These primates make four different warning sounds, depending on which predator is nearby. There's a different sound for eagles — you want to hide low from a flying threat — while a threat from a leopard means you want to climb somewhere it can't get to you. That gets a different sound.
Human lesson: All dangers are not alike. You need a different conversation and different punishments for varied behaviors, like drug and alcohol use versus a missed homework assignment. Tailor your warnings to the situation rather than a blanket "Do what I say" guideline without explanation.
If all your warnings are end-of-the-world level, kids won't be able to detect serious danger for themselves. Not taking out the trash is lame, but it isn't on the same scale as sharing personal information with an internet stranger.
Whales teach staying the course. All whales in an area sing the same song, even hundreds of miles apart. Over time, the song changes and the old pattern of sounds is never used again.
Human lesson: Move forward. Don't bring up past issues that have been resolved. Rehashing fights or mistakes does nothing positive. Remember that you all have the same goal — to build a cohesive family where everyone feels like part of the team.
You've done something dumb in the past, right? If you were a bad driver back in 2007 and keep hearing about it from family members, you can relate to your child — and how she doesn't need a discussion about that time she wouldn't bring a coat.
Cats teach the value of a pause. A feline's communication is pretty complicated, and cats have several ways they get their message across. Typically, if one cat is staring down another, they each feel threatened. With a group of humans, a cat tends to go up to the one person that isn't paying them any attention. This is because they don't like eye contact.
Human lesson: Give everyone a breather when things get tense. Sometimes, instead of "staring one another down," parents and children (especially teens) need time to cool off. Let your child come back to you when he is not so upset; he will be drawn toward the parent who isn't as visibly upset about the matter at hand.
Dogs teach pure, heart-strong affection. When a dog is happy to see you, there's no mistaking it. There's full-body excitement coupled with barking or whimpering, tongue out and tail going wild. Any bad day goes away pretty quickly when you open a door and are greeted by your canine.
Human lesson: Light up when you see your kids after time apart. Don't start off negatively, even if things need to be dealt with between you. Smile, greet your children (no matter how old) with a hearty welcome, and mean it.
Take your dog's enthusiasm as a cue. Open every encounter with love. Your child is dealing with hard stuff all day long, no matter his or her age. Let your reunion moments be an easy and pure interaction among all the others. A big smile, hug or even a slobbery kiss speak volumes.
Eliana Osborn is married, has two children and lives in the Southwest. She writes about higher education topics and parenting.
Julianne Hough is part of the 10 percent of women who suffer from endometriosis. Though she started having symptoms when she was 15, she wasn’t properly diagnosed until 2008 when the heavy bleeding and pain forced her to take time off from Dancing with the Stars for surgery and recovery.
“When I started to talk about it, I heard from fans on Twitter saying ‘thank you so much for talking about this,’ or ‘I think this sounds like me, can you tell me more?’” Hough told SheKnows.
“So even if you’re not the me in endometriosis, there might be someone around you who might be,” she added. “It’s all about starting this conversation. I want to be a voice and a person who can help women.”
According to Dr. Rebecca Brightman, an OB-GYN based in New York, endometriosis happens when implants similar to the lining of the uterus are found outside of the uterus and results in heavy, painful periods. It can also cause pain during sex and complications getting pregnant, she told SheKnows.
“In general, there’s a lack of awareness among women and among physicians too,” Brightman explained.
Despite the fact that many women deal with chronic pain, their doctors might not consider endometriosis to be the cause.
“The importance of the campaign is for women to realize ‘this could be me; I may have this condition. I need to discuss this with my health care provider.’ They need to raise this issue,” Brightman said. “They may be depriving themselves of appropriate treatment.”
It took Hough years to get an accurate diagnosis. That’s not uncommon. It takes the average person six to 10 years to be properly diagnosed with endometriosis.
“You don’t want to be living with debilitating pain for that long,” Hough said.
Now, after being open about her condition, any time Hough has an episode — what she calls a particularly rough endometriosis experience — she knows that her friends, family and fiancé understand.
“I don’t feel like I need to push through it — or that I’m weak,” she said. “It’s a huge misconception about with women and periods and everything. They feel like they can’t talk about it — to be open and have a voice. Just being able to be open and have a voice is really important to me.”
For more information and educational resources, including an endometriosis checklist and symptoms tracker, please visit www.MeInEndo.com. You can also join the conversation using #MeInEndo.
While there are few things more rewarding than being a caregiver to someone you love, it is very important to remember some self-care too.
Caregivers often get so busy taking care of their patient that they forget their own needs, which causes higher incidents of depression and burnout along with many illnesses and diseases. Not only that, but caregivers who make time for themselves are happier and convey a more upbeat attitude to their patient.
As a caregiver for 40 years, I adopted several self-care techniques that not only help my own health, but allow me to be a more effective caregiver, and shared them in my book, Caregiving: Seven Tips to Avoid Burnout. I learned many of these strategies the hard way and faced the consequences of not doing them from the start. Here are a few ways to help yourself along with your patient.
Eat right
Eating regular nutritious meals is important to stay healthy. It also helps give you energy, which caregivers desperately need. If you do not eat properly, you are more susceptible to illnesses like colds and viruses. While convenient, eating fast food causes obesity, high cholesterol and Type-2 diabetes which are prevalent illnesses in caregivers. Instead of running through the drive-thru, try cooking larger meals and freezing portions for those days you are too busy or exhausted to cook.
It can be tempting to do things like cleaning and other chores while your loved one is resting, but sometimes the best thing you can do is sleep while they are sleeping. Some people need frequent care throughout the night, which may mean that your sleep is also disrupted. If you have worked all day while they were resting, you may not get enough rest to maintain good health. Being exhausted may make you more short-tempered than you would like to be.
Make time for yourself
Make time for a walk or to visit a friend. Go to a movie or get a cup of coffee. Even a few minutes can be beneficial. Read a book. Take a bath. Anything to allow yourself to relax for just a bit can help you not be so stressed out.
Don’t sell your family and friends short, either. Sometimes friends and family want to help but just aren't sure how to go about it. Be honest and let them know what you need help with. If you do not have another family member who can give you a break, check for community services that are available. There are not only many organizations that offer this; some have volunteers who will gladly come for a few hours to allow you to do something for yourself. Often, friends from church or the community are more than happy to come help out a few hours here and there to give caregivers a break.
Take a brisk walk. Workout with a friend for half an hour. Any exercise you can get will help you stay healthier and feel more refreshed because it triggers endorphins in your brain, which help improve your mood and give you energy. Even taking short breaks and doing yoga moves will be helpful.
Talk to a friend
Having someone to talk to can be especially beneficial to help you deal with the added stress of caregiving. Don’t try to isolate yourself from friends just because you are taking care of your loved one. Find someone you feel comfortable sharing your feelings with about being a caregiver and your loved one's illness. Don’t try to go it alone. Caregivers who isolate themselves and try to do everything without support are extremely likely to find themselves depressed and burned out.
Don't neglect your own health
Often, caregivers fail to maintain their health by forgetting to see their doctor when they are having problems of their own. If you become sick, who will take over for you? The best thing you can do for your loved one is to maintain good physical health while taking care of them. Caregivers are under lots of extra stress and often develop high blood pressure, depression, anxiety, high cholesterol and many other serious health issues. Talk to your doctor if you feel you are having problems in any area. Don’t wait.
While doing all these things may not stop you from developing an illness, you will be less susceptible to some chronic health issues. Caregivers who eat nutritional meals, exercise and get plenty of rest are much better able to fight off illnesses. Having someone to talk to instead of bottling up your fears and feelings decreases the chances of depression and burnout. Taking time for yourself and seeing your doctor as needed helps maintain balance in times of extreme stress.
Even if you do not think you can afford to take the time needed to do these things from your loved one, it is imperative that you make an effort to stay healthy — it's beneficial for everyone.
