It was my freshman year of college and the girl who lived in the dorm room next to mine had just been dumped. She'd threatened to revert to the bulimia that had put her in the hospital the summer before classes started. Our well-meaning floor mates kept reassuring her, "You look great!" "You're so skinny!" I listened, and winced. As a recovering anorexic myself, I knew that they were saying the wrong things. When my eating disorder was at its worst and someone would tell me I looked skinny, I didn't hear "Stop," or "You can eat now." What I heard was, "What you're doing is working. People do notice." And it reinforced my negative behaviors.
Now that I’m a parent, however, I've realized that it's not always easy to know what to say. Even though I know better when I interact with my friends' daughters, sometimes I'll slip up and comment if they've started a new sport and are losing weight. If you are worried that your child or one of his or her friends could be struggling with disordered eating, what can you say to help? Some expressions of concern may actually do damage. How can you determine if there is a serious problem? And if you think you might need to approach another parent with concerns about their child, how do you do it? I consulted some experts on how to talk to our kids about food and their bodies, both before we detect a problem as well as after.
1.Talk about food as fuel
This is a good tip for all parents (and people, really). Food is our fuel, and shouldn’t be treated like the enemy. When choosing language around food and weight, avoid words like “can’t,” as in “I can’t eat that,” or words and phrases that express a value judgment, “I’m totally going to be bad and eat this cookie!” Dr. Julia Baird, a clinical psychologist who specializes in eating disorders and trauma, states that parents should “try not to qualify food by indicating that some foods are 'bad' foods (high calories, high fat, high carb), and some foods are 'safe' foods (low calorie).” Talking about punishing yourself for your eating choices, as in, “I’d better go for a run after eating that ice cream cone,” or “I’m going to pay for that popcorn later,” also can position food as the enemy.
2.Refocus your comments
We live in a society where thoughts about body image and control are so prevalent that it can take effort to rethink what you’re about to say. You may not even be aware of what you’re saying. When your daughter’s friend walks through the door, what are the first words out of your mouth? A comment about how she looks, even if it’s a relatively benign one not addressing her weight or body, reinforces the idea that her looks are seen first. Instead ask about that project at school they’re working on, the club they just started or compliment her new sweater. Dr. Jillian Lampert, chief strategy officer at The Emily Program, a national leader in treatment for eating disorders, thinks that it’s absolutely worth it for a parent to “examine if there’s anything they can do differently to support their child in having a different perspective.” These are good habits to practice when talking to children, even if you don’t think there’s a problem yet.
3.Use “I” statements
But what if you think it’s too late and your child or their friend might already have an eating disorder? Lampert recommends staying concerned and focused on what you’ve observed, using “I” statements to express concerns. “I’ve noticed that you’re eating differently,” or “When Sophie slept over last night I noticed that she didn’t eat much; have you seen anything?” if you’re talking to your child about a friend. Directly stating that you think they or a friend might have an eating disorder could cause them to clam up. Ask questions designed to draw the adolescent out, what Lampert calls exploring questions — is this normal at your school? Have a lot of girls been going on diets? — and follow up on yes or no answers.
While you can call out behavior that’s worrisome — a lunch bag that’s coming home full, skipping meals or eating less at dinner, weighing themselves or binge-eating — do your best to avoid comments that address any physical changes. “You look so skinny!” or “You look fine,” are both problematic. Avoid saying anything “dismissive that supports societal norms around body and weight,” says Lampert. Baird recommends addressing their behaviors directly and focusing on health rather than weight, as “making the discussion all about weight and body size actually reinforces the eating disorder by bringing attention to the weight loss.”
5.Don’t pass judgment on someone else’s parenting
Once you’ve gathered enough information that you think you might need to talk to another parent, try to lead with compassion and concern. Those “I” statements still come in handy. “I’m worried..." or “I just wanted you to know...” are great phrases to start a sentence with. If you think the other parent may not respond well, acknowledge that gently from the beginning. “I’m really nervous to talk to you about this but I’m going to take a risk,” and don’t say anything about the other parent’s parenting skills or your perception of them.
Avoid passing judgment on how they’re feeding their kid or what they’re saying about weight at home, even if you’ve heard them saying worrisome phrases discussed in this article. As parents, we often blame ourselves if our kid has a problem in any area. We question our own parenting; if they’re struggling with reading, did we read to them enough as a toddler? If they’re a loner, should we have taken them on more playdates to develop social skills? A natural reaction to being questioned as a parent can be to become defensive or closed off, which is what you’re trying to avoid. Always lead with compassion and concern.
It’s not necessary to become an overnight expert on eating disorders before talking to another parent, but a basic understanding of some key issues may help. Lampert describes the combination of factors that lead to an eating disorder as three bubbles — cultural, psychology and biology, that only develop into an eating disorder when all three overlap (a Venn diagram). When I was going through treatment, the focus was on the psychology piece — control issues or grief and loss — or on the culture — the pressure on women to be thin, the societal rewards for conforming to the norm — but new research in the last 10 years has found that biology not only plays a role, it may be the most important component.
Kids don’t develop an eating disorder solely because of their parents, and knowing that may help another parent or you if it’s your child. While reframing your language can support their recovery or head off a full-blown eating disorder, speaking up with kindness and sensitivity helps dispel some of the stigma around eating disorders and may provide a vulnerable child a safe space to help.
If you need help for yourself or a loved one, here are some resources we recommend:
And now, just before John F. Kennedy's diary goes up for auction, we're learning his private thoughts about Adolf Hitler. Brace yourself, because you didn't see this one coming.
Kennedy toured Germany in 1945, just after WWII ended, as a war correspondent for a newspaper. Included in the tour were several of Hitler's homes and retreats. Just four months after the German dictator killed himself in a bunker in Berlin, Kennedy wrote about him in his diary.
"You can easily understand how that within a few years Hitler will emerge from the hatred that surrounds him now as one of the most significant figures who ever lived," he wrote. "He had boundless ambition for his country which rendered him a menace to the peace of the world, but he had a mystery about him in the way he lived and in the manner of his death that will live and grow after him. He had in him the stuff of which legends are made."
Yeah. He seriously said that about the dude who murdered literally millions of people and was responsible for the war that killed tens of millions more.
Deirdre Henderson, who was JFK's research assistant when he was in the Senate and who is the current owner of the diary, added a note in the auction listing attempting to explain the former president's shocking entries about Hitler.
"When JFK said that Hitler 'had in him the stuff of which legends are made,' he was speaking to the mystery surrounding him, not the evil he demonstrated to the world," she wrote. "Nowhere in this diary, or in any of his writings, is there any indication of sympathy for Nazi crimes or cause."
And she told People magazine in a follow-up interview that it's important to note Kennedy's lifelong passion for history as context for his words.
"Remember this diary shows — everything about JFK shows — that he was someone who was educated at an early age," she said. "He began reading [Churchill’s memoirs of World War I, The World Crisis] when he was about 12. He was interested in history from an early age."
She added, "Hitler was driven by ambition and he was a very dangerous person. And these young men had fought him in the war — well, JFK was [serving in the U.S. Navy] in the South Pacific — but he understood Hitler. And it’s the mystery surrounding Hitler — why did he do what he did? I don’t think anyone will ever know. But JFK was analyzing it and saying Hitler was a legend — and Hitler is a legend. But he’s not a good legend. You can’t translate that as meaning he had admiration for him."
We have a teeny, tiny crush on Kristen Bell. What's not to love? Every week it seems we read another Kristen Bell quote and find ourselves wanting to high-five her. Here are the top seven reasons to join our chill cult and develop a Kristen Bell crush with us.
Family is everything to her
"I always think, if I'm on my deathbed, what am I gonna be thinking about?" she mused. "And it won't be some random movie I participated in, or some TV show. It will be my family."
She's teaching her girls compassion above all
"I am trying to teach my kids not be stunted by country lines, language barriers or religious boundaries. And that all human beings and everyone in the world is part of someone's family and they should be treated as such. It's so simple to get caught up in lines that divide us. Why are you different? I think it's important to remind ourselves that we are all the same and everyone is doing the best they can with what they have." Boom.
While most A-listers were pounding Grey Goose at deadly chic Golden Globes after-parties, Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard were... playing Settlers of Catan.
Kristen Bell Catan
Kristen Bell Catan
She's not afraid to talk about her struggle with depression
"I felt plagued with a negative attitude and a sense that I was permanently in the shade. I'm normally such a bubbly, positive person, and all of a sudden I stopped feeling like myself."
She added, "It's important for me to be candid about this so people in a similar situation can realize that they are not worthless and that they do have something to offer."
She keeps it real about her insecurities
"I shatter a little bit when I think people don't like me. That's part of why I lead with kindness and I compensate by being very bubbly all the time because it really hurts my feelings when I know I'm not liked. And I know that's not very healthy and I fight it all the time."
She's not buying into perfectly edited images of motherhood on social media
"In the age of social media, when you can edit your life in beautiful pictures, it's important to remind moms that all of us are wearing yogurt and all of our hands smell like urine," she told Redbook. "When you present an unrealistic idea of perfection to people, it's not fair."
Her marriage to Dax Shepard is the most relatable marriage in Hollywood
We can't help but like anybody who posts a #TBT of their wedding day that looks like this:
We know, it came as a shock to us too, especially since this is the 26th yearin a row that the Lab has received the most love out of any of the innumerable amazing dog breeds that deserve this title just as much.
Look at it this way: The year this reign of terror began, we only had two Legend of Zelda games. Now we have, like, a million. Do we really want to keep voting as we did when we were hardly even aware of one of the greatest video game series of all time? Think about it.
The AKC cites the Lab’s friendly nature and predisposition for dog sports as the reason why everyone loves it so much — which makes sense given that this is, you know, America, and we value that sort of thing — but why not give the jocks a break and pay attention to some of the fringe breeds?
I had a shih tzu growing up, and I will argue about the breed’s perfection as a pet until I am blue in the face. They’re sweet, affectionate and probably the cutest dogs on the planet. I consider myself incredibly lucky to have Millie around for 14 years, and I know the American populace would come over to the shih tzu side if they could only take their Lab blinders off. Wake up, sheeple!
If you’re not one for smaller dogs, however, I’ve got the solution for you — Newfoundlands. They’re about Lab-size, but they’re not as sporty as those meatheads. Their modus operandi is, as far as I can tell, cuddle first and ask questions later. Also, they’re fluffy. So fluffy. How can anyone not want 10 of them?
Listen, y’all. Corgis. You already know. I love them. You love them. The queen loves them. My friend has one named Mochi. That’s the kind of cuteness this breed can afford you! Also, they have tiny legs and long bodies. (I don’t have a lot of rational thought behind this one beyond how unreasonably adorable they are, OK?)
So yes, America let us down in 2017. Labs are great, sure, but when there are new breeds being recognized yearly, let’s try to give some others that No. 1 spot. At least for one year. Please.
Starbucks is known for making a splash whenever it starts selling new items — from ice cream and beer to special-flavored coffees — and this latest menu addition is no different. Starbucks is now hawking organic avocado spread so customers can spread some green onto their bagels, panini and breakfast sandwiches.
The problem (and the reason people are weirded out instead of uniformly excited): The stuff isn't just green, but really green — greener-than-avocados-in-nature green; Kermit the frog eating green beans while getting a piggyback ride from Shrek green — and everyone's split on whether it's the best thing ever or a total nightmare.
Regardless of how you feel about Starbucks' new spread, there is some good news. Despite the alien-looking color, it's definitely made from real avocado.
Starbucks avocado spread is real
Starbucks avocado spread is real
Will you eat the new Starbucks avocado spread or would you rather just buy an avocado to mash onto your bagels and toast yourself? I think I'll have to taste before judging (after all, fans of the spread do seem pretty into it)...
Carter Blanchard of Searcy, Arkansas, has had a rough time of it. It's not easy to be an 8-year-old boy with a skin condition that makes people stare — but Carter's feeling much less alone since finding out about a Labrador retriever with the same disorder.
Vitiligo is a condition that destroys cells that make skin pigment. Carter's diagnosis came in kindergarten, and he quickly lost self-esteem and confidence as white patches developed around his eyes — something that would be hard for anyone to deal with, but especially a young child.
“He was at a big school with a lot of kids, and his face was transforming very quickly,” his mother, Stephanie Adcock, said to KATU. What he told his mom broke our hearts: “The first thing he’d tell me when he got in the car is that he hated his face and hated the way he looked.”
Enter Rowdy, a 13-year-old dog in Oregon — who received his diagnosis of vitiligo the very same year as Carter. (Soul mates, we're thinking.)
Carter's mom first spotted the pictures of Rowdy on — you guessed it — Facebook. Her son was thrilled. "When I showed Carter, he was so excited to see a dog that was famous for his vitiligo.” The internet does good things, sometimes.
Carter and his mom sent a big hello to Rowdy’s owner, Niki Umbenhower, and from there, built a long-distance, interspecies friendship.
And the best part? KATU viewers donated money so Carter and Stephanie could travel to Oregon to meet Rowdy.
“It couldn’t be any other person that made him feel better. It had to be Rowdy. It had to be a dog,” Carter's mom said. “When we walked in, I didn’t feel like we were walking in for the very first time. They were family already. You could tell Rowdy knew something was going on and felt the energy of the room.”
We are fully on board for a Lifetime TV movie on these two. Carter apparently hugged and petted and doted on Rowdy for two hours that first meeting, “and they’ve been together ever since.”
FYI: Carter thinks Rowdy needs more spots on his back.
On a sad note, Rowdy had a seizure this weekend and vets say tests are needed to find the root cause. There's a GoFundMe page to help Rowdy get the care he needs.
We're rooting for these two long-distance buddies for sure.
When a film tackles the serious subject of rape, it is most likely there will be negative reactions. It's difficult to accurately navigate the various minefields of exploring the act of rape, rape culture and how a character might handle the after-effects of being attacked without raising a few eyebrows.
Recently, Huppert sat down with SheKnows to discuss the film Elle, which earned her an Oscar nomination for Best Actress. In Elle, Huppert plays Michèle Leblanc, a 40-something self-made woman who runs a video game company. When an intruder enters her home and rapes her, Michèle rationally embarks on a journey to find out the identity of her attacker, and questionably, elicit similar encounters with him. While Elle, according to Huppert, is meant to be read as a psychological exploration and not a social document, it's difficult to divorce her character's actions from their moral implications, leading to potential readings and reactions from viewers that these actions are a viable option in real life. This is just one of the reasons that Elle has been such an explosive film.
When asked if Huppert had personally received any criticism of Elle or her performance, she was quick to respond that she had not. "Oh no, no, by no means. I think that the movie is, on one hand, strong enough not to be given this kind of [criticism]. I think this movie has a great amount of integrity and [Paul] Verhoeven [the director of Elle] is smart enough to bring this kind of integrity to his subjects. So I never really received any witnessing or comments of that sort. Never, by no means. Just so there is no confusion between […] taking it as some way to legitimize rape or…no, no. The movie is beyond that."
Image: Sony Pictures
Huppert did not allude to having heard of the negative criticisms of Elle, but there have been some eyebrows raised because of the film since its release in 2016. Among the criticisms of Elle is the belief that it risks romanticizing rape in giving Michèle the power back by seeking a connection with her rapist. For others, like Variety critic Owen Gleiberman, Elle is a "sadomasochistic caveman version of sex-positive feminism" as told through the eyes of Verhoeven. The rawness of Elle in combination with is tricky tightrope walk between empowering and alienating Michèle post-rape is polarizing. That may be why it, along with Huppert's fascinating performance, became such a talking point during the 2017 Oscar season.
But perhaps the divisiveness of the material and Huppert's belief that this is in fact an important exploration of a woman's psyche in regard to a controversial topic are what make Elle and the legend it has created so fascinating and timely. Huppert stated that Elle can even go so far as to be a cathartic viewing experience, especially for female viewers. "Yes it can be, because as a film it can be cathartic, as a book [Elle is adapted from Phillipe Djian's novel Oh...] it can be cathartic because it gives more within its fantasy with something which is not likely to be real, so of course it can be cathartic. It excites your power of imagination and your fantasies. It’s like a dream or a nightmare, it gives excitement to your most unconventional part of your psyche or inner life, or these kinds of things. So yes, in a way, it is cathartic."
Image: Sony Pictures
For the female audience members, who are arguably the target audience for a film like Elle, dealing with one woman's process of healing and understanding after a violent rape could certainly lend a new angle to our understanding of female rape victims. While the rape-revenge narrative in film to date is quite ripe, the cat-and-mouse tactics between Michèle and her rapist in Elle offer a different kind of viewing experience, one that is concentrated on keeping shame out of the equation and attempting to return control to Michèle.
The film is no doubt a complex study. Listening to Huppert discuss the film and how it could be read in a positive fashion (as opposed to the awe and horror that critics have foisted upon the film since its release) only adds to the complex narrative of Elle. One thing is clear after speaking to Huppert: The passion with which she believes this film is intended to be embraced rather than rejected is infectious.
Can't get enough of Huppert? Here she is speaking more in depth about her controversial Elle role.
Obviously, there's no right or wrong way to respond to what boils down to an absolutely gross violation of a person's privacy. Some celebs, like Mischa Barton and Jennifer Lawrence, threaten legal action. Others publicly shame the people who stole their photos. Others take social media sabbaticals and hide out until the whole thing blows over. Those are all great reactions to something that's emotional and violating and needs to be processed individually.
Demi Lovato, though. Oh man. She just took all the power straight out of her hacker's hands with a reaction that basically amounts to the tweet version of a big shrug.
Demi Lovato responds to leaked private pic rumors 1
Demi Lovato responds to leaked private pic rumors 1
Lovato also took complete ownership of her body by reminding us all of the time she posed nude — of her own volition, obvs — in Vanity Fair in 2015 in what the magazine called a "spontaneous make-up free" photo sesh.
Demi Lovato responds to leaked private pic rumors 2
Demi Lovato responds to leaked private pic rumors 2
What's so great about Lovato's reaction is how she takes all the power away from the hackers and gives it right back to herself. She's owning her own body, and not letting anyone else make her question that. Yas, kween!
In our new series, Pregnancy Diaries, we ask expecting women to jot down every pregnancy-related detail of their lives for a week. (Special thanks to New York mag and Refinery29 for the inspo.) Work-related conundrums, struggles with IVF, and a whole lot of nausea, ahead. For the second entry in our series, we have a 29-year-old recruiter from NYC who landed a job offer while seven months pregnant. She’s 38 weeks pregnant with her first child.
Profession: Recruiter for a large social media/tech company
Money situation: We have a combined income of around $185k/yr. I have about $20k left on my student loan and a few thousand bucks on two main credit cards that we use for travel points. We each keep a savings account with a few thousand dollars, just in case. I was also just granted a large amount of stock from my new job that will be available to me at the end of 2017.
How long did it take you to conceive? This pregnancy was totally unplanned but welcomed! I had a terrible experience with birth control pills in the past, so we were only using condoms and the pull-out-method.
Any other details relevant to your pregnancy? Pregnancy has been rough for me and I’m committed to being as honest as possible about my experience. I was sick for about 24-25 weeks — not throwing up, just always on the edge of vomiting (never got that sweet relief!). I was an emotional wreck and dealt with significant depression during that time as well.
Day 1
9 a.m. — I’ve got the day after New Year’s Day off from work, which is *really* nice but also just reinforces my major baby-brain so I know I won’t know what day it is for the rest of the week. Also, 9 a.m. is my definition of sleeping in, as I try to maintain a decent sleep schedule.
10 a.m. — My partner and I loaf around a bit before we get dressed to go run some baby-stuff errands. The travel system (carseat/stroller) that we asked for was too big for our car’s trunk, so we’ve gotta exchange is ASAP. We also have to purchase any important items that we didn’t receive at my Baby Shower and exchange some things we received multiples of. Off we go!
1 p.m. — We realize we’re starving, so we stop for burgers. For some reason, they shut down the line (“due to a longer than normal wait time”…), so we have to leave. Thankfully, my pregnancy cravings haven’t been serious so I didn’t mind. We head to the mall food court since it’s close by and we’re seriously-very-incredibly starving.
2 p.m. — Finally, we’re starting our to-do list. We walk into the baby-stuff store & see that the line is wrapped around the store (already!?). We walk right back out. My patience has gone down quite a bit the further along I get in this pregnancy.
3 p.m. — We try our luck at getting the paint we so desperately need to get. I’ve been meaning to paint our apartment for about 4-months, but unfortunately my middle name is Procrastination. We’re doing our maternity photo shoot this coming weekend, so now I *really* need to get it done. This store is way less packed—yay! We’ve got paint!
4 p.m. — Off to find something to wear for the maternity shoot! Staying “fashionable” hasn’t been easy as a pregnant lady (for me!). I already had a love-hate relationship with my body, so now that it’s forever-changing and way larger than normal, I just don’t feel my stylish self. I end up finding a simple-but-cute gray maxi dress. It’s form-fitting and something I’d NEVER wear pre-pregnancy. Proud moment!
5 p.m. — Time to head back home. It still amazes me how exhausted I get after a few hours of really simple activity. It’s scary to think that I’m about to enter the perpetual state of exhaustion called Motherhood.
5:45 p.m. — We’re home and ready to loaf again. We start making dinner and figuring out what to watch on Netflix. I likely won’t go to bed for a few hours, but I have to time my night time eating because I’ve got major heartburn nowadays — worse than a did in earlier weeks and it’s absolute torture. Nothing is enjoyable, not even chocolate. NOT EVEN CHOCOLATE.
10 p.m. — I hop in the bed, check my calendar and email for the next day. Somehow Instagram summons me and I get sucked into my timeline, which then leads me to checking all my other social media apps. Almost an hour later, I finally put my phone done and close my eyes.
2 a.m. — I try to drink a ton of water all day and sip some through the night whenever I wake up, which means I basically never stop peeing. Overnight bathroom breaks are the norm for me now. Yes, this makes my sleep quality horrible, but I can’t stand the feeling of dehydration, so I do what I gotta do.
4 a.m. — Up to pee. Again.
Day 2
9:30 a.m. — First day back at work after the holiday. We get free breakfast/lunch/dinner here, so I’m trying to get used to arriving early enough for a hearty first meal. I didn’t have to arrive until 10/10:30am at my last gig. I still don’t have to but hello, free food. I get my breakfast and head to my desk to check email, calendars, etc.
12 p.m. — I have a 1:1 meeting with one of my managers. He’s responsible for hiring me while very pregnant, and also just very awesome all around. I basically had *zero* managerial support in my last position, so this is a nice change.
12:30 p.m. — Second meeting, second manager. (The reporting structure has recently changed, so we’re in a bit of a transition phase.) I’m finally feeling productive now that my To Do list is growing.
2:30 p.m. — I’m trying to get all of my annual check-ups in before baby, so I head to an eye-doctor appointment. It’s raining and windy and cold, and the walk is longer than I’d want it to be but I make the trek anyway in the name of 10k Steps a day. I’m visiting this doctor for the first time and it turns out to be a disaster. They’re not ready for me when I come in, don’t have my pre-filled out paperwork, and then claim I need a referral to see them (I don’t..). I make my way back to the office in the rain/wind/cold and remind myself that I at least got some steps in. That’s a small win.
4:30 p.m. — My work partner and I have a great meeting with some of the design team. We’re brainstorming social event ideas for NYC’s creative/design population — right up my alley!
5:30 p.m. — Time to head home. Nobody gets up for me, the obviously very pregnant person, on the train (which is pretty common!) until another woman comes to my aid. I’d normally ask myself, but I was too tired for any more human interaction in that moment. She’s my savior.
8 a.m. — Regular evening over here. I eat some leftovers that give me insane heartburn, pop some Tums, and get ready to hit the sack.
1 a.m. — Tonight is a shitty sleep night. I’m having trouble sleeping due to Braxton Hicks contractions (“fake” contractions that get you ready for real labor). They don’t hurt, but they’re uncomfortable enough to keep me from dreamland. Hubby is also not feeling well, so his tossing and turning is also keeping me up.
2 a.m. — Same.
4 a.m. — What do you know, more of the same.
Day 3
8 a.m. — I only ended up getting two or three hours of sleep. Luckily, we’re allowed to work from home on Wednesdays. Back to sleep for another hour or two before I sign on.
10:30 a.m. — My manager cancels our 12 p.m. meeting, so I’m just doing some research and general work for the rest of the day. Can’t complain!
4 p.m. My fiancé and I head out for some more baby errands. We successfully find a new stroller and some other baby things I really wanted for our maternity shoot this weekend. We also stop for more paint supplies and dinner at Panera because #cravings.
8 p.m. We get our rooms prepped for painting tomorrow—moving and covering furniture, prepping all the supplies for my father, who will be coming to help paint in the morning.
10 p.m. Bed time! And praying for a better night’s sleep…
Day 4
6:30 a.m. — Much better night’s sleep! Not as good as a non-pregnant, melatonin ridden sleep.. But I’ll take what I can get these days. We lay in bed for another half hour and then I’m off the the races. I like to give myself extra time in the morning because I walk way slower as a pregnant lady. I miss my speed-walking New York stride.
10 a.m. — Finished breakfast. Check out my calendar for the day, write down my daily To Do list & get to it.
1 p.m. — A good friend of mine comes to have lunch at the office. I don’t get to do much socializing since I’m eternally exhausted, so YAY!
3 p.m. — Just made it to my now weekly OB-GYN appointment. Now that I’m full-term, I’ve gotta go every. single. week. Oy! My appointment takes longer than expected. My blood pressure has been slightly high at the beginning of every visit, so we always have to test it a few times. I’m 10000 percent positive it’s because I walk to my appointments so I’m slightly winded when I arrive (it always measures much lower by the end of my appointment!), but now that I’m so far along, the doctor has to be much more cautious of high readings. She’s also making me do a 24-hr pee test this weekend (which will check for proteins in the urine, a sign of preeclampsia—something you *do not* want). All slightly annoying in the moment, but hey, all I want is a healthy kid.
5 p.m. — I’m tired and hungry. I can only make it about three hours before I need to eat again. I saved some fruit in the fridge from this morning to chomp on and can’t wait for dinner (that I hope is waiting for me when I get home).
6:45 p.m. — I got suckered into a work Happy Hour and ended up staying to hang with my team. I contemplated asking for a few shots just to make the bartender uncomfortable—what?! So funny. Anyway, home I go.
7:30 p.m. — Totally forgot I’d be coming home to a freshly painted apartment! Hubs & dad did well and I love the new look. Have not told them that our photographer hasn’t confirmed our shoot yet, so maybe there wasn’t as big of a rush as I thought. Also, I am *really* hoping she confirms soon—I’m getting bigger and more self-conscious by the day.
8 p.m. — I heat up some food & we finally decide to start Stranger Things. HOW DID WE WAIT SO LONG TO WATCH THIS SERIES?! We’ll watch this ’til I *hopefully* fall asleep.
Image: Getty Images
Day 5
7 a.m. — It snowed last night, therefore I feel obligated to hit the snooze button a few times. I’m hoping it’s not too bad outside — my regular snow boots are excellent but *very* heavy, so I don’t plan on wearing them this season until after baby arrives.
10 a.m. — Breakfast at my desk. I’ve forgotten it’s Friday about three times already today. Baby brain is a real thing, y’all!
10:30 a.m. — I finally submit my Maternity Leave claim at work. We have an incredible leave policy, but I’m stressed about leaving my post for too long since I only just started a few weeks ago. Ah, the joys of navigating the workplace as a woman…
10:51 a.m. — Holy shit, I’m tired today.
3:30 p.m. — I’ve had an eventful day: meetings, team lunch, in-office coffee with a colleague. I have an eye doctor appointment shortly. It’s much closer than my last failed appointment, and I’m praying for success this time around. Honestly, I’m just trying to get all of my doctor appointments out of the wa.. Oh, and I also just ordered some snazzy new specs from Warby Parker and so, I need this new prescription ASAP. I’m also way overdue for contacts, now that I think about it. But as of late, my eyes have been insanely dry/itchy. Pregnancy woes.
3:40 p.m. — I poured myself some gummy bears as a snack and basically got all yellow ones, which is gross. I’d like to think that my non-pregnant self wouldn’t be as disappointed as I currently am. #Hormones, am I right?
5 p.m. — Eye doctor success! This place was closer, super efficient, and got the job done. I ordered a year’s supply of contacts and got my Rx for my new glasses. They say your eyes can change during pregnancy—luckily, mine haven’t changed much more than normal.
6 p.m. — Time for a much-needed manicure. I usually see an awesome talent friend of mine who is a professional nail artist, but she’s booked on shoots all week (go, Ami!!). I head to an old favorite salon of mine to get these gels removed, cut down my nails (baby-proofing!), and have a regular mani.
6:15 p.m. — I haven’t been in the chair long before the nail technician comments on “how big” I am. She also compares me to “how tiny” her 40wk pregnant sister is. I politely reminder her that I’m 5’9” with a fiancé who is 6’5” and that we fully expected to make big babies.
6:20 p.m. — She can’t seem to get the gel off my nails. No idea how that’s possible, but okay. I stop her before she butchers my nails even more. She’s filed and buffed them so much now, they’re pretty much ruined. I end up having to cut them even shorter, so now I have ugly, swollen hands with ugly, super short nails. (Excuse my pregnancy emotions talking, but sometimes all it takes to feel gross is having shitty nails.)
6:30 p.m. — The salon didn’t charge me for the appointment. I head to Starbucks to spend the $13.25 I just saved and wallow in ugly-nail sadness. OH, still haven’t heard from our photographer.
Day 6
10 a.m. — I got an email last night from the photographer: no photo shoot this morning, but I’m still waiting to confirm *when* it’ll actually happen. As a Virgo, this is really giving me anxiety. I am such a planner.
10:30 a.m. — Since we don’t have to get fancy for the shoot, we decide to loaf around all Saturday. Time to Netflix binge Stranger Things! We also didn’t realize that it’s supposed to snow *all* day. No idea how I missed that—I’m usually weather obsessed. Baby brain? Seems like a great thing to blame.
7 p.m. — Did you think I was joking when I mentioned binging Netflix? I assure you, we stopped to order food and snacks a few times. Still no confirmed reschedule for our shoot.
8:30 p.m. — I finally get in touch with the photographer and we decide to push the shoot to next weekend. At least I don’t have to rush to get my nails fixed! Small victories.
10 p.m. — My heartburn has been out of control lately no matter how mild/bland my food is. I’m someone who is obsessed with spicy food, so this kinda sucks. I hope I go back to normal postpartum. Otherwise, how boring..!? I chew on a few Tums and call it a night.
Day 7
11:30 a.m. — If there’s one kind of food I love, it’s breakfast food. I could eat breakfast food at any time (I’m more of a savory breakfast kinda gal, but I do love me some pancakes!). It’s Unlimited Pancake time at IHOP so we make the trip despite the lingering crumby weather.
12:15 p.m. — As usual, I over order my food. The further along in pregnancy you are, the less space you have in your body for food. Depressing, I know. The bonus: You can always make two or three meals out of whatever you order!
1 p.m. — I’ve been noticing more and more strangers looking at me in public, likely thinking to themselves, “DAMN, she is pregnant!” I find it odd that pregnancy is a very normal thing, and yet people just can’t help but gawk at you. Like, hello, how do think YOUR MOMMA looked!? Beautiful, yes. But also very pregnant.
2:30 p.m. — Back home with not much to do. Also, nothing to watch because we finished our last binge. I’m planning on “nesting” a bit the rest of the day. I get the urge every now and then, but it’s quite exhausting. As is everything at this point in preggo-ness!
6 p.m. — I’m heading into my 38th week of pregnancy. Time flies! It hasn’t all been fun, but it’s gone very, very fast. Way faster than you could imagine. I have a weird feeling that I won’t make it to my due date for some reason. Tonight is the first time I say that out loud to my partner. He’s excited but I may have sent him into panic mode. He likes to be over-prepared, which is an excellent complement to someone who’s been basically just winging it lately. I honestly don’t know how I feel about meeting my kid. I am more nervous than excited. (It’s okay to be honest about these things, gals!) And I’m at a weird place where I am totally over being pregnant, but not quite “ready” for this wild baby adventure. On the contrary, I’m happy that this is something you just get thrown into. I think this is where someone says “May the odds be ever in your favor…”
There may actually be hope yet for Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie to have a somewhat amicable divorce.
I know, I know. With the way this split has played out so far, it seems unlikely. But according to sources, they're both tired of the vitriol and ready to be a little more cooperative with each other.
"He’s much happier," an insider close to Pitt told People magazine. "He’s very relieved that things are not playing out in public anymore."
It's true. Jolie blindsided the world (and maybe Pitt) by quietly filing for divorce without so much as a written statement about it, and then the two battled it out via court papers — first Pitt was investigated for child abuse, and then the custody fight began. In January, however, they finally agreed on something. They would enlist the help of a private judge so they could sort out their shit out of the public eye. And apparently it's working.
"It was a rough time, but they were able to resolve it," the Pitt source said. "This is a work in progress."
In a huge 180 from when she was silently letting those child abuse rumors play out, Jolie even recently told ABC she thought Pitt was a wonderful father.
"He’s always been extremely positive about how Angie’s a good mother, and the goal was to resolve everything for the kids and the whole family, and they’re working toward that," the source added.
The insider also revealed that the new arrangement means Pitt is seeing the kids a ton more than he did before, and that that's the most important thing to him.
"He is spending more time with the kids when they are in L.A.," the source said. "He has even spent some time with Maddox and Pax. Things are definitely calming down."
Women who waited until they were at least 30 to have children are less stressed and more joyful after giving birth. They are also less likely to punish their children while raising them, and their children have fewer “behavioral, social and emotional difficulties.”
There are countless reasons a woman might want to wait to have children. Women in society are more educated than ever, live longer than ever and are more involved in stable relationships as they age. Putting off having children in order to establish your education and career is a more and more common occurrence every year and being more “settled” can contribute to less worrisome pregnancies and motherhoods.
Giving birth at an older age is not without its potential downfalls, however. Older women are at a higher risk for pregnancy complications such as high blood pressure and diabetes, miscarriages and birth defects.
Overall, according to the study, the children of older mothers are healthier emotionally and socially. Researchers attribute this to these women being more “flexible” mentally, as well as a tolerance gained with age.
We've all been taught that food with a lot of ingredients — especially the ones you can't pronounce — isn't always the best for us.
But when it comes to skin care, there are some ingredients that may sound scary, but are actually great for our skin. These 13 ingredients have surprising benefits, from age-defying to acne-busting.
No matter what your skin care need is, there's an ingredient that can handle it. Check your labels for these ingredients to take the best possible care of your skin.
But, alas, Reedus fucked this up. He's been dating Diane Kruger for some time now, and they're not even just dating; they're dating. Exhibit A: the solid half hour they spent making out in plain view of God and all of us on a sidewalk in New York City. Like, for a couple that's been dating for more than a year but has yet to actually comment on their relationship, dang. They really put it out there.
Norman Reedus mackin w Diane Kruger reaction tweets 3
Norman Reedus mackin w Diane Kruger reaction tweets 3
Onlookers say Reedus and Kruger walked to a bar from Reedus' home and hung out gettin' their drank on for several hours. They were smiling and holding hands when they left, and witnesses said they chatted with a bunch of people on the street before stopping on a corner and mackin' for what sounds like a borderline uncomfortable amount of time. And then, like ya do, they headed to another bar. Alcohol — it's a hell of a drug.
"They looked like they had a great time!" one onlooker told E! News.
Whether they had fun or not is irrelevant. What really matters here is that Reedus and Kruger broke the rules but making out in public and shattering the illusion that Reedus belongs to all of us. Naturally, the internet is not having it.
Norman Reedus mackin w Diane Kruger reaction tweets 1
Norman Reedus mackin w Diane Kruger reaction tweets 1
Norman Reedus mackin w Diane Kruger reaction tweets 2
Norman Reedus mackin w Diane Kruger reaction tweets 2
Just when you thought you nailed that whole Santa thing, spring rolls around, and you have that loaded Easter bunny question staring you right in the face. When your child finally asks if the Easter bunny is real, try to remain calm and remember these parenting pro tips.
Image: Terese Condella/SheKnows;Image via Getty Images
You don't have to follow all of these to the letter — you know your kid better than anyone else, after all. But if you feel the skepticism a-coming, this serves as a guide to prep yourself. Nothing's worse than being unprepared for the conversation and totally tongue tied.
Sure, it's hard to see your child growing up. The big Easter bunny question definitely signals a transition. But letting your judgment be clouded by wanting your little one to stay, well, little, can get in the way of the bigger picture. If your instinct is to tell your child yes, the bunny is real because you don't want her to grow up, take a step back and think about this. She can't stay young forever, and these seminal moments are opportunities for you to help your children take steps toward adolescence in an honest way. Speaking of honest...
Honesty is the best policy
Your instinct might be to keep the belief alive — at least for another year, right? Well, your child has probably already heard something from kids at school and is just seeking you out to verify the news. If you tell your son or daughter the bunny is real, you're just temporarily postponing the inevitable. More importantly, this is possibly a test. You've spent hours lecturing them about always telling the truth, and now they are giving you the chance to do the same.
But, a white lie is OK sometimes
If your child isn't ready to find out the cold hard truth about our furry friend, you'll be able to tell. He'll probably ask the question like, "The Easter bunny is real, right, Mom?" Oftentimes, this will be the first "check in" about something your child still wants to believe in. And if your instinct is your child doesn't really want the news, it's OK to tell a little white lie, and let her keep believing. When your child is ready for the facts, you'll be able to tell by the way she asks. It will be more direct and more persistent.
If you have younger children who still believe, invite the older child into the "adult club." Tell her she's now part of keeping the Easter bunny secret for her younger siblings. Reinforce how important this is for the younger kids and how this is a big responsibility for her. This will help her manage her feelings about the news she's just heard. She'll feel excited to be part of the joy of keeping the magic alive for others.
Trust your gut
If you're not sure whether it's time to reveal the news, don't Google, don't ask around — just trust yourself. You'll know when it's time and what needs to be said. Remember, there's not an adult on the planet who still believes, so obviously, we all had to find out at some point. And we all survived!
Climate change is often treated by skeptics as something entirely separate from human health. Temperatures rising, ice caps melting, sea levels surging; these are seen as physical aspects of the natural environment that humanity will overcome.
Sure, human ingenuity might be able to mitigate some of the external damage done by rising sea levels or agricultural instability. But climate change offers a variety of threats to our global public health. Scientists predict the side effects of climate change to be dangerous and deadly storms, droughts and starvation, an increased spread of water and mosquito-borne illnesses, among others.
And as it turns out, climate change might even get its dirty little hands on something else: diabetes.
A team of researchers recently published a study in BMJ Open Diabetes Research & Care, which found that the rate of diabetes cases in the United States increased alongside increasing average temperatures. In fact, they calculated that a 1-degree C (or a 1.8-degree F) increase in temperature could cause up to 100,000 more cases of Type-2 diabetes per year in the United States.
To begin, let’s talk a little about what diabetes stems from. Diabetes, which impairs the body’s ability to produce insulin and therefore regulate blood sugar, has a few known causes. Obesity and a sedentary lifestyle are the big ones. Genetics and racial background also play a role. Until this study, no one had ever considered the atmosphere as a risk factor; these researchers were up for the task.
The scientists first compared U.S. data on average temperature recordings across every state with data on the incidences of Type-2 diabetes in every state. They found that with every 1-degree C increase in temperature, there was a 4 percent increase in diabetes cases.
When they completed the same analysis with global data, they found a similar trend. With every 1-degree C increase in temperature, there was a 0.17 percent increase in diabetes cases.
These percentages are small, but perhaps these scientists onto something major. What could explain this finding?
There’s something we have called brown adipose fat tissue, or brown fat. In essence, it is fat that has the main purpose of burning other fat in order to keep us warm (doesn’t that sound wonderful?). But as you might have guessed, this sort of mechanism is only activated when it is needed, and a rise in temperatures could slowly eliminate the brown fat’s job. This slow in metabolism may eventually lead to insulin resistance, and therefore more cases of diabetes.
Researchers hypothesize that this could be the connection between climate and diabetes cases. And this idea matches up with other studies that suggest exposure to colder temperatures as a treatment for regulating the metabolism of diabetics.
While interesting, these conclusions aren’t 100 percent guaranteed just yet. Remember: Association does not imply causation. In other words, the number of Starbucks most likely also increased from 1996 and 2009, and that certainly isn’t caused by an increase in temperature. So just because cases of diabetes are increasing as temperatures also rise, that doesn’t imply they are fully related. Societal and economic changes in that 13-year span undoubtedly lead to changes in eating habits or personal health care. More research needs to be done to understand the larger scope of changing public health and its link to the changing environment before drawing larger conclusions.
Regardless of the unsettled results of the brown fat hypothesis, climate change undoubtedly poses serious threats for nutrition, which may indirectly influence the number of cases of Type-2 diabetes. Think about it. Climate change affects the health and resilience of agriculture, which includes our stock of fresh fruits and vegetables. With a decreased availability of these nutritious foods, it is likely that rates of obesity (and thus, diabetes) will increase.
In that sense, the research does spark some important thinking when it comes to the impacts of climate change.
Climate change isn't just Earth science, and it isn't just medical science. It is a global public health issue and encapsulates just about everything our global society does. Biology and business interests, sociology and shopping habits — they all play a role in the same growing problem, but also the solution. Every type of scientist and every type of citizen need to work as an interconnected whole to get and stay ahead of the side effects.
Combating climate change and protecting our public health calls for all hands on deck.
It's seems like pretty much every day we are bombarded with the latest celebrity diet craze. A million celebs have done The Master Cleanse or The Cabbage Soup Diet. Kate Middleton swore by The Dukan Diet to look good for her royal wedding. Celeb trainer Tracy Anderson has gotten high profile clients (like Jennifer Aniston) to eat only baby food. Beyoncé even experimented with veganism to get healthy. At this point, we've pretty much heard (and tried) it all.
But all of us who actually attempted to exist on nothing more than filtered water, lemon juice, cayenne pepper and maple syrup for 10 days know that most of these crazes don't work and just lead to a major crash.
A couple years back, nutritionist Haylie Pomroy published her book The Fast Metabolism Diet to share how she helps her clients lose weight. Though the title kinda sounds like another one of those flashy programs that don't deliver and Pomroy does consider herself a "celebrity nutritionist" (she's counseled Reese Witherspoon, Jennifer Lopez, Robert Downey Jr. and more) we might not want to chalk her tips up to another flash in the pan celeb diet.
Haylie Pomroy insta 1
Haylie Pomroy insta 1
At it's core, The Fast Metabolism Diet uses real whole foods in varying combinations to "keep your metabolism guessing" and get it to work harder and faster. Since the release of her book, Pomroy has introduced several other diet- and cleanse-type products, like the 10-Day Fast Metabolism Cleanse and the 14-Day Pain & Inflammation Protocol.
Haylie Pomroy insta 2
Haylie Pomroy insta 2
We wanted to know what experts had to say about Pomroy's program, so we did a little digging.
The 28-day Fast Metabolism Diet consists of three phases that are repeated for four consecutive weeks:
Phase 1 (Monday–Tuesday): Unwind stress and calm the adrenals with lots of carbs and fruit.
Phase 2: (Wednesday–Thursday) Unlock stored fat and build muscle with lots of protein and veggies.
Phase 3 (Friday–Sunday): Unleash the burn (hormones, heart and heat) with all of the above, plus healthy fats and oils.
Many Pomroy converts say it's not really a diet at all, but a return to a healthier way of eating. The Fast Metabolism Diet incorporates plenty of fruits, vegetables, proteins, legumes and half your body weight in ounces of water every day. On top of that, Pomroy forbids wheat, corn, dairy, soy, refined sugar, dried fruit and fruit juices. And — are you ready for this? — no caffeine or alcohol. Sayonara Starbucks and happy hour!
The book provides daily guidelines (the number of proteins, veggies, fruits and grains to be eaten at each meal and snack) as well as sample meal plans and several recipes.
This all sounds fine and good, but does the Fast Metabolism Diet make nutritional sense? We asked three registered dietitians to give us their take on the program. Here's what they had to say.
Whole, real foods
Haylie Pomroy insta 4
Haylie Pomroy insta 4
Sarah Waybright, registered dietitian and owner/founder of WhyFoodWorks, LLC, appreciates the diet's focus on eating real whole foods.
"Americans simply eat way too many refined, nutrient-poor carbohydrates. Sugar consumption alone went from 110 pounds per person annually in 1950 to 150 pounds per person in 2000!" Waybright told us, adding that the diet's ban on wheat, corn, dairy, soy, refined sugar, caffeine, alcohol, dried fruit and fruit juices eliminates many unhealthy options.
"Replacing them with nutrient-dense options like fruits, vegetables, lean protein and fiber-rich whole grains offers a diet that's high in micronutrients for fewer calories," she said.
So how does the Fast Metabolism Diet compare with the many prepackaged "diet food" programs out there? According to Waybright, in general these programs may not be as satisfying or have the same quality of vitamins and minerals as the whole foods that the Fast Metabolism Diet recommends. Reduced-fat products often add more sugar or sweeteners to compensate for the flavor difference, she adds.
"The FMD diet seems like a new way to think about an old concept: eating a diet of whole foods," said Waybright.
"It's best to learn how to plan a balanced, moderate, nutrient-dense diet that's based on a variety of whole, unprocessed foods and that fits your own individual needs and dietary preferences," says Lehmann.
The more water, the better
Haylie Pomroy insta 3
Haylie Pomroy insta 3
And what do these dietitians have to say about the significant quantity of water the Fast Metabolism Diet recommends? Drink up buttercup!
"Drinking water before a meal is an easy way to fill up and reduce calorie intake," says Lehmann.
In the Fast Metabolism Diet, Pomroy says to consume organic produce whenever possible to stop additives, preservatives, pesticides, insecticides and hormones from slowing down the liver's job of burning fat. However, anyone who knows that consuming only organic foods is nearly impossible.
LifestyIe and wellness consultant Jasmine Jafferali, MPH, ACE-CPT, agrees that avoiding artificial sugars, dyes and preservatives and eating organic produce is ideal, but says eating organic for everything may not work for everyone. She recommends following the Dirty Dozen list for buying organic produce if you're having a hard time finding affordable organic produce.
Lehmann recommends choosing organic whenever possible, saying it's important to stay away from chemicals that affect so many pathways in our bodies, including the metabolic reactions involved in burning fat. However, she warns against using the "organic" label to justify bad food choices.
"I'd much rather see someone snacking on a bowl of conventionally produced vegetables than a handful of organic cookies," she said.
Have you tried the Fast Metabolism Diet? Tell us about it in the comments below.
Before you go, check out our slideshow below.
Originally published September 2013. Updated March 2017.
Well, we thought we'd help by expanding his music tastes a bit. We're going to walk Pitt through a musical journey touching on each of the five stages of grief according to Elizabeth Kübler-Ross: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.
Let's begin.
1. Denial
White Stripes Denial Twist
White Stripes Denial Twist
OK, so Brad, this is a great tune to ease yourself into the reality of your situation because it sounds pretty upbeat at first before the weight of what's really happened truly sinks in. You've got a solid beat and a sweet piano line and you're nodding your head and tapping your feet and then, gradually, you start hearing the lyrics.
Lyrics like:
"So what, somebody left you in a rut And wants to be the one who's in control But the feeling that you're under can really make you wonder How the hell she can be so cold
"So now you're mad, denying the truth And it's hidden in the wisdom in the back of your tooth"
Yeah. So let this one sink in a few times, Brad. You know? Give it a listen once or twice or eight times. And when you're ready, move on with us to Stage 2.
OK, so obviously Beyoncé, right? I mean, Don't Hurt Yourself is the perfect angry breakup song. It's got badass Bey swaggering around a dimly lit parking garage wearing the hell out of high-waisted gray leggings that would make anyone else look like a deranged geriatric step class instructor but goddamn does she pull it off.
And yes, yes, Brad, it is sung from a female perspective, but it's 2017. Expand your mind and make it work, OK?
If you don't feel even a little bit better after snarling along to the line, "Who the fuck do you think I is? You ain't married to no average bitch, boy," then I think we might be wasting our time here.
And while we're talking about angry women, here's a little Alanis for you. A classic. The gold standard for angry breakup music.
Alanis You Oughta Know
Alanis You Oughta Know
Also this:
Big Sean Fuck I Don't Fuck with You
Big Sean Fuck I Don't Fuck with You
The utility of this song lies in its simplicity; it's wholly unabashed in its pettiness. I'd include some of the lyrics but uh, they're mostly expletives and also they're really quite simple and most of them are some variation of: "I don't fuck with you".
This song is for the car, Brad, maybe when you're on the way to your sad sculpture-making studio. Yell it. Just shout it out and really put some soul into it (don't try to keep up during the rap verses, though, you'll only embarrass yourself and make things worse. That's what I hear, anyway. Ahem.)
It's also strangely cathartic to refer to your ex as a little bitch, I don't know why. Science, probably.
Don't question it. Anger doesn't make sense, but don't worry. It also doesn't last forever. So just inhabit it fully while it's here, and when it dissipates, move on to Stage 3.
3. Bargaining
This is the worst stage, UGH. It's when you go over the past with a fine-toothed comb, what-if-ing and fantasizing about rewriting history. Wishing you'd never met them in the first place, wishing they'd done things differently, wishing you had... we've all been there. And while I recommend going through all of these stages, Brad, rather than skipping any, try to spend the least time in this one. It can suck you in if you let it.
Welp, let's get into it shall we? Rihanna:
Rihanna Stay
Rihanna Stay
Rihanna knows. She's been there. You can tell.
"Round and around and around and around we go Oh now, tell me now, tell me now, tell me now you know
"Not really sure how to feel about it
Something in the way you move Makes me feel like I can't live without you
It takes me all the way I want you to stay"
Oof.
And because I'm Canadian, I'm going to rep one of my fellow Canucks for you, Brad. "Truffle Pigs" by Matthew Good Band has always seemed like a song for that time in a relationship when you know it's over, but don't quite want to admit it to yourself yet.
"Don't fail me now Don't you even fucking think it
"We're dead somehow But somehow we're still breathing The secret's out But it's too loud to think it"
Matthew Good Truffle Pigs
Matthew Good Truffle Pigs
And with a sweet strum of the acoustic guitar, we find ourselves in Stage 4.
4. Depression
So, this one is not a fun stage by any means. But like the others, it's necessary. Sink into it, Brad. You're well on your way to nurturing the depressive phase with songs by bands like Bon Iver, but here are some more heartbreaking songs to bawl your eyes out to.
Sinead Nothing compares
Sinead Nothing compares
Shhhh. Shhh, it'll be OK, Brad. Let it out.
Adele
Adele
It's OK to cry. Men cry all the time! You're human, Brad.
Johnny Cash Hurt
Johnny Cash Hurt
Yes. Let Johnny sing the pain away. We've done the hard parts and it's only blue skies from here on out!
You feel it, don't you, Brad? You're coming back to yourself! You're feeling love, feeling that glint of life again! It is what it is. You've accepted it. And now you can get back to the badass business of being yourself sans breakup angst.
Haim Days are Gone
Haim Days are Gone
Haim's right, Brad:
"I'm moving on You can have my past, I´ll never get that back I'm moving on, 'cause those days are gone Days are gone"
And you know what, Brad and everyone else going through a breakup or a loss or a period of sadness?
When you pet is injured or sick, the last thing on your mind is how much it will cost to get them better. But the fact of the matter is, taking your animal to the vet for an emergency visit can get real expensive, real fast.
We reached out to pet owners and professionals to get some real numbers, and were shocked to hear the truth. We aren't talking about hundreds of dollars... we're talking thousands. The costs add up quick, but there are some things you can do about it.
How much can a pet emergency cost?
Many of the people we asked quoted multiple thousands of dollars.
Lisa Martin's ex's dog racked up a bill of $4,000 after being hit by a car.
Gayle Carson has had three animals (of many) over the years with pet emergencies that racked up charges of $5,000 — each.
Amy Krakow's Weimaraner needed emergency surgery for bloat (a very serious condition), which cost around $3,000.
When we take our pets to the vet, it always seems like their appointments are so much cheaper than ours, but when it's an emergency, the tab can get out of hand. Kristen Vance, a veterinarian with Homeward Bound Mobile Vet, says there are many factors involved. She tells us that in an ER setting, there are often more expensive supplies needed to treat animals. They'll need diagnostics like blood work and X-rays done and may even need IV medications.
Another emergency vet reached out to us to explain even more. Melanie Galanis of Artemis Veterinary Emergency & Specialty Services gave us a little breakdown of prices. The prices she gave are specific to the mid-Atlantic area and at least one other person noted that even in the same city, prices can vary greatly — so you can't take these to the bank, but the info she provided us is invaluable in showing how it gets so expensive so quickly.
Emergency visit: $90-$120
Diagnostics (i.e., radiographs, blood work, etc.): $200-$250 each
Outpatient treatment: Starts at $200
24 hours of Hospitalization (including IV fluids and meds, etc.): Starts at $1,200
Galanis also notes that larger dogs (over 80 pounds) could be more expensive because they need more of things like meds and fluids. She also warns that if the emergency requires anesthesia and surgery, the cost could easily exceed $3,000 to $4,000 for things like bloat or a C-section.
When we put our call out for input on this, we wanted to find out if there was anything people could do to lower the cost. We even asked about negotiating the price (you can do it with human doctors, so why not?). But the vets noted that they're unlikely to negotiate (at least not as much as you'd like). They don't charge as much markup as human doctors, and they still have bills to pay.
We also asked about payment plans, but that's also unlikely it seems. Since you typically only see an emergency vet when you have an emergency, they don't have the relationship with you your normal vet may, and it just isn't good business sense. They have a building to pay for, equipment they need and the supporting employees they pay. And that's fair.
But that's not the end of it. In fact, several of the people who responded (including the vets) did have advice.
Communicate. Dr. Galanis said that it's imperative for owners to communicate with the vet about their finances. They can work with you to find cheaper alternatives without compromising your pet's health when at all possible. She also suggests staying current with your wellness visits and to consider (for medications that apply) having them filled at human pharmacies where they may (or may not) be cheaper. But that's not the only option.
Get pet insurance. Jim Angleton, president of AEGIS FinServe Corp., had several emergency vet situations with his animals over the years. While it's not a product his company sells, Angleton took the time to respond personally in the hopes his own personal experiences could help other pet owners. According to him, pet insurance "is a must and worth every penny." He says his premiums are only $59 a month with a deductible of $500 and that his meds cost much less.
Get specialized credit. Another secret several respondents (including vets) noted was CareCredit. And it's not just for your pets but for you, too. It's built-in financing for medical needs (even your pet's). Lisa Martin, who you might remember from an example above, says her boyfriend had CareCredit and it saved him (and his dog). She's not the only one who recommended it, but she spoke so highly, she had to close with, "And no, I do not represent the company! I am just a huge fan."
Whether you're trying to determine if your partner has good swimmers or you want to make sure that vasectomy really took, the answer may be as close as your smartphone. A new device attaches to a smartphone to measure semen quality — and get this, there's an app for it.
There are some fascinating tidbits about what experts are calling the Fertilex.
1. Researchers really did this
A team at Brigham and Women's Hospital and Massachusetts General Hospital came up with Fertilex and detail their semen analyzer in Science Translational Medicine.
"Men have to provide semen samples in these rooms at a hospital, a situation in which they often experience stress, embarrassment, pessimism, and disappointment," Dr. Hadi Shafiee, the lead investigator at BWH, said in a statement.
Obviously, he's never had a pelvic exam, but the idea is still kind of neat.
"We wanted to come up with a solution to make male infertility testing as simple and affordable as home pregnancy tests," Shafiee said.
The device can detect abnormal sperm based on sperm concentration and motility with an approximately 98 percent accuracy rate.
The team collected 350 semen samples and said the Fertilex accurately detected abnormal samples based on World Health Organization standards. Investigators also looked at how well trained and novice users were able to use the device.
3. It plugs into a smartphone
The analyzer includes an optical attachment that can connect to a smartphone as well as a disposable microchip device onto which a semen sample can be loaded. To be more specific, there is a microfluidic device and an optical attachment. The disposable microchip has a capillary tip and a rubber bulb that is dipped into the semen sample the same way you would put the tip of a home pregnancy test into a cup of urine.
In addition to the device, the team also designed a user-friendly smartphone application that guides the user through each step of testing. Once the semen sample is loaded into the phone, the Android app creates a short video of the swimmers in action.
5. It could help with fertility — and more
Shafiee's team said that the test could provide at-home fertility testing for couples who are trying to conceive. It could also replace follow-up visits to a urologist for men who have had a vasectomy, as they often have to visit for several months after the procedure to give samples and ensure the operation was successful. It also may be utilized by animal breeders to confirm the virility of a sample.
Shafiee isn't stopping there, either; the device could test blood and saliva samples — something he wants to explore in the future. He did not return inquiries to SheKnows at the time of publication.
6. You could get your hands on one... soon
Right now, the Fertilex is in the prototyping phase, so the researchers are still working out the kinks to produce a device that can undergo more testing and ultimately receive Food and Drug Administration approval.
"I think the concept is great," Dr. Michael Glassner, the director of Main Line Fertility in Pennsylvania and a professor at Drexel School of Medicine, told SheKnows. "It will enable couples to decide if they should seek fertility help sooner if a male [infertility] factor is detected. I also think the ability to empower couples —especially early on — is important. I also believe it will help to get the male partner invested quicker."
According to the study, there are other home-based male fertility tests such as FertilMarq and SpermCheck. They use a chemical-staining approach for detecting sperm-specific proteins on the sperm head. Trak is another product that is FDA-approved. But the tests can only measure sperm concentration — not motility.
"As always, the price point is going to be vital to its scalability," Glassner noted, adding that insurance typically covers semen analysis testing. "They would have to keep the price reasonable."
According to the research, it costs $4.45 to manufacture the product.
8. Your partner may still need to go to the doctor
Glassner warns that the at-home test can't replace the official semen analysis testing that men undergo during care, but there is a value in being able to get an idea of where you stand at home.
Dr. Serena Chen, an infertility specialist with Saint Barnabas Medical Center in New Jersey, told SheKnows that she believes it will be an asset overall.
"In my experience, people love getting this type of information on their own, so if it is relatively inexpensive and easy to use, I believe that people will use this technology," Chen added.
While she agrees that it can't replace lab testing, it could be useful to monitor situations in the long term.
"The downside is that people can get upset or misinterpret do-it-yourself results without the expertise of a physician to help put the data into the proper context," she noted, adding that complex counseling and other factors need to go into decisions about infertility that are made between patients and their physicians.
A new study found that pregnant women who were infected by the herpes virus were more likely to have children with autism. But what's behind the link?
“We believe the mother’s immune response to HSV-2 (herpes simplex type 2) could be disrupting fetal central nervous system development, raising risk for autism,” said Milada Mahic, a researcher at Columbia University who led the research team, according to NBC News.
While the language may be a bit confusing, the overall conclusion was that the herpes virus itself was not the cause behind any potential increase in autism risk for the fetus. Instead, it is the woman’s reaction to the HSV-2 virus that could be “disrupting the development of a fetus’ central nervous system,” the authors of the study told CNN.
According to the CDC, the overall risk of transmission from mom to fetus is relatively low, especially if HSV-2 is acquired during the first half of a pregnancy.
But for moms who may be worrying that the likelihood of autism is higher following the development of HSV-2, some experts beg to differ.
“Unfortunately, the analysis conducted in this study has significant flaws, and in fact, the data does not support the claims made by the authors,” said Autism Speaks vice president and head of genomic discovery Mathew Pletcher to CNN.
