Just in time for Valentine's Day, the USDA's Food Safety and Inspection Service has made a startling clarification concerning what exactly counts as "ground beef." I always assumed that ground beef was made up of various muscle meats that are sold as steaks or roasts at the grocery store, but it turns out there are other ingredients often included in the mixture: heart and tongue meat.
That might be great news for the rare offal-loving hipster, but what about those of us who don't consume beef heart on the reg? What do we need to know? Formerly, organ meats were not allowed to be ingredients in chopped beef, ground beef or hamburger, but apparently the rules quietly changed in 2015, and no one noticed until now. (So, actually, you've probably been eating those organs for awhile now.)
While this may give you the heebie-jeebies at first, once you dig into the details, it gets at least a little less gross. Beef heart does have quite a bit of actual meat on it, and the other parts of the heart, like the arteries, veins and precardial fat can't be included in ground beef. (Phew!) Basically, the weirdly gooey, rubbery and stringy pieces are still being left out.
Oh, and it's not just hearts that are making their way into your ground beef. It's also tongue meat. There are a lot of parts of beef tongue that count as meat byproduct, which can't be added to ground beef, but some substantial muscle meat from the tongue does make it in. And a USDA rep told Consumerist, "the addition of heart and tongue meat to ground beef does not make it any less safe or wholesome to consume."
I always assumed hot dogs and chicken nuggets were probably full of random animal parts that no one would want to think too hard about, but I'm surprised to hear the news about ground beef. Just when everyone's getting over pink slime, something new is (literally) thrown into the mix.
Then again, if it's not dangerous or unhealthy to eat, maybe it's a good thing that these formerly unused meats are being added to ground beef. This way, people can enjoy their burgers with a little less guilt knowing that perfectly decent parts of the cow aren't going to waste for some arbitrary reason like, "Ew, it's gross!"
In the meantime, I'll be reading food labels a little more carefully. After all, just because organ meat can be good for you doesn't mean I want it popping up in the ingredient list of my cereal.
The other day I overheard a co-worker declare that he and his wife don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day because it’s stupid. When I challenged him and asked when was the last time he and his wife had couple time. Just the 2 of them, no kids, on a date. To which he couldn’t answer because it had been years.
40 to 50 percent of married couples in the United States divorce. I'd say the number one reason those marriages fail is lack of communication.
Take my relationship for example. By the time our kids got to an age where they had their own friends and didn’t really need us as much, a giant gap had formed between my husband and I. We had been filling that gap with our 3 kids for years. It’s easy to do.
We are parents. Kids take up a LOT of our energy and time. On top of that, many of us have jobs outside the home. By the time there’s time to breathe, you just want to go to sleep and recharge.
Where’s the time to go on dates or connect with your partner? Where’s the time to take care of the marriage that brought you those amazing kids?
After 16 years of marriage, we are divorced. We had arrived at a point where we really didn’t know each other anymore. We simply couldn’t operate outside of being parents.
For my next relationship, I vowed that we would have weekly date night. One night a week where there are no kids and no work. We can do anything we want. For the last 4 years, I am proud to say that every single Tuesday night is sacred date night. I call it “Hot Date Night”.
We cook dinner. Sometimes we go out for dinner. We have a couple glasses of wine. We talk. Sometimes we don’t talk. We watch TV. Sometimes we just sit together. Sometimes we just read or listen to music. And of course, sometimes we fool around, but not always.
We decided that we would put no expectations on the night. Date night doesn’t have to be anything special. It just simply is a habit that is critical to nourishing our relationship. It’s the one time that we focus on us in whatever way it feels right on that day.
I hear the reasons couples give for not taking the time to connect with their partners. I know those reasons because I had the same ones.
We have little kids and it’s impossible to get a babysitter
We can’t afford to go out for dinner
I’d rather stay home with my kids
Those reasons, with small children, I can’t deny. But I can also say truthfully, that as the years went by, I wanted a date night here and there. I found that those reasons became a safety net. "I'd rather stay home with the kids" meant I'd rather not go out and feel uncomfortable and worry about what we'll talk about... and maybe even reveal that we're no longer connected.
The kids would be taken care of, like at a school-sponsored event for 3 hours... and we’d choose not to take the opportunity. It stung.
After a while, it’s easier to simply not try to connect. And sadly, for us, we separated.
Valentine’s Day may very well be stupid. You shouldn’t have to have a holiday to take your partner out on a date. But it’s still time together. So, if you need a reason to get out and reconnect, then use Valentine’s Day as an excuse.
Take the time, now, to schedule a date night. Maybe you can’t do every week. Can you do once a month? Once every 3 months?
Jen Thoden is an online color stylist, entrepreneur, runner & mother-of-the-year (not) dedicated to helping women (re)discover their unique self and inspire them to take back their their power in fun and creative ways. She is the founder of Your Color Style™, a proprietary online color system that makes it easy for women to discover their best colors and to learn how to style themselves in ways that make them feel amazing.
There are few things more validating than finding out that being a good human is rewarded in measurable ways. In one satisfying example, OkCupid data recently revealed that women who have certain values — specifically ones that align with being politically progressive — are likelier to find successful romantic matches. Yay, karma!
In a blog post, OkCupid laid out its findings, which defined women who are "successful" in love as those who deactivated their profiles because they started a relationship with someone they met on the site. OkCupid analyzed those women's profiles to find out what they had in common. Here are the characteristics shared by these "totally badass" women:
Ladies who find love GAF. OkCupid reports that being caring is the second-most common trait among successful female daters. Women who answer "yes" to the question "do you feel obligated to help your fellow human beings?" are 72 percent likelier to meet a partner.
Open-mindedness
Women who support same-sex marriage are 85 percent likelier to end up in successful relationships. So, even if you're heterosexual, acknowledging that all love is equal, no matter what your gender or sexual orientation, is statistically likely to help you meet a good match.
Sexual positivity
Embracing sexuality, feeling comfortable answering a partner's questions about your sexuality, being pro-masturbation and anti-celibacy-until-marriage: All of these sex-positive beliefs and qualities make women likelier to be lucky in love.
A desire for intellectual compatibility
Do typos kinda bug you? Do you believe education and intelligence can play a role in attraction? Well, then you're probably going to have an easier time finding a great match when you're dating.
An interest in free press
Women who believe that the public should have access to all literature, regardless of content, are 34 percent likelier to find relationship success, according to OkCupid. It's not just education — it's being in tune with the news and what's happening in the world, it seems.
A belief in political secularism
Believing in a separation of church and state makes women 30 percent likelier to meet someone on OkCupid. Not sure exactly what that's about, but all this seems to add up to the fact that the more liberal, progressive, and open-minded you are politically, the better your odds are on the relationship front.
Does the sound of dinner guests slurping their soup make your blood boil and provoke an extreme sense of anger and discomfort for you? How about your co-worker clicking their pen repeatedly in a meeting? If either of these scenarios has you covering your ears in a desperate attempt to block out the noise, then you may be one of the many people who suffers from a genuine brain abnormality called misophonia.
Misophonia is an affective sound-processing disorder characterized by the experience of strong negative emotions (anger and anxiety) in response to everyday sounds such as those generated by other people eating, drinking, chewing and breathing. The disorder begins early in life, with the average onset being age 12, but can be as early as 5 years old.
The good news is that researchers out of the U.K. have discovered an answer for why these sounds produce an “excessive” emotional response in people. Sukhbinder Kumar and his team at Newcastle University scanned the brains of 20 volunteers with a severe form of misophonia, as well as 22 people who don’t have it.
The participants were played a range of noises while they were in the MRI machine, including neutral sounds such as rain, generally unpleasant sounds such as screaming and people’s trigger sounds.
Behavioral data showed that trigger sounds evoked misophonic distress in misophonic subjects, whereas the unpleasant sounds, although annoying, did not produce a misophonic reaction. The misophonic groups experienced increased heart rates and skin conductance, both signs of the body’s fight-or-flight response, when they heard trigger sounds.
The results, published in the journal Current Biology, determined that the anterior insular cortex, a part of the brain that joins our senses with our emotions, was overly active in people with misophonia. Kumar, told BBC News: “They (people with misophonia) are going into overdrive when they hear these sounds, but the activity was specific to the trigger sounds, not the other two sounds.” He further explained that the reaction is mostly anger, not disgust.
There is currently no cure, but coping mechanisms like using earplugs could help, and we know that alcohol and caffeine makes it worse.
The condition was first given the name misophonia in 2000, but until 2013, there had only been two case studies published, so this new research is providing powerful validation for the people suffering from this relatively unknown disorder. "I hope this will reassure sufferers," Tim Griffiths, professor of cognitive neurology at Newcastle University and UCL, said in a press release. "I was part of the skeptical community myself until we saw patients in the clinic and understood how strikingly similar the features are."
Update: Feb. 3, 2017, 12:30 p.m. PT: Rumors are flying once again that Savannah Guthrie's job is in danger.
Sources are telling Page Six that Guthrie, who currently co-hosts the 7 a.m. hour of the Today show alongside Matt Lauer, is likely to get bumped up to the 9 a.m. slot, taking over for Tamron Hall and Al Roker and opening up a spot in the coveted 7 a.m. hour for newcomer Megyn Kelly.
"NBC is not paying Megyn $12 to $15 million a year to be on at 9 a.m. The word is that Savannah could take the 9 a.m. slot and Megyn will go right in at 7 a.m. Andy Lack is completely behind all of this," a source said. "There’s no way Megyn would have signed with NBC unless she was promised a big role down the line."
Another insider added, "If you’re Savannah, you’re looking over your shoulder every minute. The first time Savannah is out, Megyn will fill in, sitting next to Matt Lauer and NBC will go to great lengths to capitalize on it. It doesn’t make sense to pay Megyn that kind of money unless she’s on at 7 a.m."
Update: Jan. 27, 2017, 1 p.m. PT: It's official: Megyn Kelly won't be replacing Savannah Guthrie, but she is edging Al Roker and and Tamron Hall out of their hosting hour on the Today show.
Reports say Kelly has her pick of either the 9 a.m. slot, which Roker and Hall are currently hosting, or the 10 a.m. slot, which is hosted by Kathie Lee Gifford and Hoda Kotb, who will be moved to 9 a.m. if Kelly takes over their time slot.
Insiders say Roker and Hall will both stay at NBC, but what that will look like remains unclear. Kelly will likely host her hour of Today solo.
Kelly is still under contract with Fox even though she's left the network, so she won't start appearing on NBC until sometime in the fall or even later.
"She is still under contract at Fox until July, then she has a six-month non-compete [clause]," an insider told People magazine. "Fox might let her out of the non-compete, but they might not. There is so much that has to still be arranged."
The announcement that Roker and Hall are losing their hour came one day after they both celebrated their hour's success on Twitter.
Al Roker and Tamron Hall lose Today hosting gig
Al Roker and Tamron Hall lose Today hosting gig
Al Roker and Tamron Hall lose Today hosting gig 2
Al Roker and Tamron Hall lose Today hosting gig 2
Update, Jan. 6, 11 a.m. PT: Rumors are flying about Megyn Kelly's move to NBC — most recently that network execs have some big plans for her to edge Savannah Guthrie out of the Today show.
Page Six reports that multiple sources have confirmed that the talk at the network says Kelly is headed for Today.
"There is a rumor on set that Megyn would eventually get the lead anchor role on Today, pushing Savannah out," an insider told the site.
But another source told the site that "the 9 a.m. hour of Today is likely not her goal. She is angling for something else."
And a high-level exec at NBC brought up the 5-year contract that Guthrie just signed.
"We just signed Savannah to a massive deal that is longer than Megyn’s," the source said. "A lead anchor role at Today isn’t part of the conversation for Megyn. The goal was simply to get someone of Megyn’s talent and caliber through the door at NBC. We have not made a decision on her daytime slot. It is being discussed."
A Today show rep also denied the rumor, saying that Guthrie has a long future with the show.
"No, Megyn is not being ‘groomed;' the senior leadership of NBC News expects to be long retired and sleeping in while Savannah is still rising early and anchoring Today," the rep said.
Reports say Kelly turned down a $20 million-a-year offer from Fox in order to take a gig at NBC, where she'll have a Sunday night show, a daily news program and a place in the network's political coverage.
Kelly will stay at Fox through this week, continuing to host her show, The Kelly File. Her last day at Fox will be Friday, although she won't start at NBC until July because of her ongoing contract.
Fox CEO and Chairman Rupert Murdoch released a statement after news broke of Kelly's move, writing, "We hope she enjoys tremendous success in her career and wish her and her family all the best."
Kelly also released a statement of her own on Facebook, thanking her soon-to-be former employer for the opportunities it gave her.
"While I will greatly miss my colleagues at Fox, I am delighted to be joining the NBC News family and taking on a new challenge," she wrote. "I remain deeply grateful to Fox News, to Rupert, Lachlan and James Murdoch, and especially to all of the FNC viewers, who have taught me so much about what really matters."
Kelly was at Fox for 12 years. It hasn't been released how much she'll be paid at NBC after she turned down the $20 million offer from Fox, where The Kelly File is the second highest-rated cable news show in total viewers. ABC and CNN were reportedly also chasing Kelly, but the Daily Mail reports that they couldn't compete with the offer from Fox, putting them out of the running.
NBC is not paying Megyn $12 to $15 million a year to be on at 9 a.m. The word is that Savannah could take the 9 a.m. slot and Megyn will go right in at 7 a.m. Andy Lack is completely behind all of this
Bey, who lives the most private private life of all the celebs, just flooded her website with literally more than a decade of personal family photos. Vacations, her wedding, the first days after precious national treasure Blue Ivy was born, even Bey's morning sickness when she was pregnant with Blue. It's all there, for your viewing pleasure.
Beyonce and Jay release a ton of secret family photos 1
Beyonce and Jay release a ton of secret family photos 1
Beyonce and Jay release a ton of secret family photos 2
Beyonce and Jay release a ton of secret family photos 2
Considering how careful Bey and Jay are about keeping their personal lives under wraps, there's gotta be a reason they decided to dump all these secret family pics online for the world to see. We asked a PR professional, who didn't have any sure answers, but did mention that the release of the photos could lend some stock to the rumors that Bey, the all-time queen of Superbowl Halftime shows, could be planning a surprise appearance at this year's show.
"I think it's fair to say that anything Beyoncé and Jay Z have ever done is carefully measured. Her releasing these photos in the order she did and the manner she did is absolutely produced and was strategized with a team. We just don't know why yet. I'm sure we will found out soon. Could be Superbowl. Could be something else."
Based on how the photos were laid out, with sappy captions and interspersed with pics from her recent maternity shoot, I think Bey's pregnancy hormones just made her extra sappy and nostalgic, and that's why she posted them. But until that's confirmed, I'll be carefully scouring all of them for hidden Illuminati symbols, just to be safe.
Forensic Files might have gone off the air six years ago, but each and every episode lives on in my heart. More conveniently for everyone else, many episodes of the classic true-crime television show also live on through Netflix. I try with the best of them to keep up with every hot new show that’s released, but in truth, sometimes all I want to do is listen to Peter Thomas’ smooth, concerned voice over talk me through forensic criminal-catching for hours upon hours as the sun arcs through the sky and then sets, one murder after another.
One of the best parts of Forensic Files is that, like any good mystery, they present you with a few suspects and a lot of evidence before revealing (through science!) who committed the crime. Was it the seemingly loving husband who was also hiding gambling debts? Was it the quiet aunt, jealous of her niece’s beauty and success? Was it the old janitor who was always threatening to beat people to death with his mop?
I’ve studied all 400 episodes, and now I know it was for a purpose: to learn exactly how to pinpoint the murderer before the first commercial break. Or at the very least, to throw out a pretty good guess. Here’s who you should keep an eye on:
Someone who is being way too helpful
Fred Rogers used to say that when you see scary things in the news, you should “look for the helpers.” I’m sure that what he meant was that you should look for the helpers because they were probably involved. Is the concerned boyfriend a little too concerned? Does a random neighbor keep asking police how the investigation is going? They might be guilty.
It makes sense that some people do not want to be involved with the television procedural that reenacts their crime. A good chunk of the time, the person who did it is not among the cast of characters who is retelling the tale. Of course, this can be tricky. Sometimes multiple suspects aren’t interviewed during the show, and sometimes suspects aren’t interviewed until after they reveal who did it.
A person who is being interviewed, but in a suspiciously nondescript room
But wait! On a few glorious episodes of Forensic Files, the murderer is interviewed all to throw you for a loop and lead you down the wrong path to justice. Still, there are a couple of ways to tell that the murder is being interviewed. Is the background empty or blurry or a nondescript room, like one that just contains a potted plant and a couch? Is the interview subject wearing a plain outfit — like maybe an outfit that could be a prison jumper? You might have found your guy.
The person leaving behind lots of good scientific evidence
At the heart of every Forensic Files is a vital piece of evidence that cracks the case: a bullet, a fingerprint, a strand of hair, a drop of blood. There’s even that one episode when they catch the murderer/arsonist after analyzing a bag of kitty litter. Chances are if they mention one of the suspects in relation to a possible piece of forensic evidence (the police officer who was wearing a gold patch made of specially-dyed threads, for example), it's not a red herring.
It’s as true on Forensic Files as it is in real life. In the vast majority of cases, the victim knows their murderer. In many episodes, the weird janitor or neighbor with the criminal record is simply a distraction from the concerned, loving spouse who is secretly taking large life insurance policies out on their partner and fiddling with the brakes on their car. Never overlook the person closest to the victim, and get even more suspicious if they seem to be interviewed in one of those rooms that just has a plant and a couch.
It’s not enough that Beyoncé has two babies on the way. It’s not enough that she now has the most-liked Instagram ever (her pregnancy announcement) or that she’s married to Jay Z (hello, power couple) or that her website right now reads like the most elaborate lesson in fertility symbolism in art history ever (Botticelli in the house!). All of that is well and good, but hear this: Her 5-year-old daughter, Blue Ivy, is set to launch her own line of products. So, what have you been up to lately?
As TMZ reports, legal documents have been filed to make a line of products branded with the name Blue Ivy Carter, which will include things ranging from “hair care to clothing, mobile devices to video games, and more.” Apparently, Bey’s company tried to make this happen in 2012, but someone already has “Blue Ivy” trademarked. Five years later, they figured out that they could add “Carter” to it. As they say, if at first you don’t succeed…
According to TMZ, the application to get Blue Ivy Carter’s name approved for branding should be approved soon, which means we could see, say, Blue Ivy Carter shampoo coming this year. Or Blue Ivy Carter “mobile devices,” whatever that means. Can we get a Blue Ivy Carter phone? Maybe a B.I.C.-branded Apple watch? How about some Blue Ivy Carter clothing? We’d be down for some mommy-daughter denim action, à la Bey and Blue last year.
Who knows? Maybe Beyoncé is just putting Blue to work because her first born will need something to do once the twinsies come along. If there’s one thing we’re sure of, it seems as though Miss Blue Ivy Carter is up to the task. All we can say is that we’ll be first in line when her complete fragrance launch comes along.
Bristowe responded to some comments made by her ex/the new Bachelor, Nick Viall, and was all about the chill, which is not what we came to expect from her after watching her season, TBH.
Viall made his possibly-rude comments during an interview on On Air With Ryan Seacrest last month, where he said he was "thankful" he got dumped by his first Bachelorette, Andi Dorfman, and "more thankful" that he got dumped by Bristowe.
"Of course I’m not hurt by that!" Bristowe told Us Weekly. "I mean, I’m happily engaged to Shawn, and that’s who I’m supposed to be with. So no, I agree with him. It worked out for him. He gets to be the Bachelor, and it worked out for me — I’m happy with Shawn. Why wouldn’t he be happy we didn’t end up together?"
It makes sense that Viall's comments were meant to be harmless, even though it's gotta sting a little to hear a guy say he's "thankful" he didn't end up with someone he was ready to propose to, just because now he gets to be on TV and make out with a couple dozen ladies on the regular. But good on Bristowe for not taking it that way.
And since she was talking about the current Bachelor season, Bristowe weighed in on Corinne Olympios, Viall's resident villain contestant.
"I don’t know what a good strategy is anymore," Bristowe said about Olympios' attention-grabbing behavior. "It seems to be working for her. Everyone’s talking about her — maybe that’s what she wanted. It kind of depends what you want from it."
I like babies. In fact, I love babies. I just don’t like my babies served up in NFL Super Bowl ads. When the NFL tries to get all warm and fuzzy in a let’s-keep-the-mommies-watching-the-Super-Bowl marketing way, I am not into it.
I didn’t see the famous Super Bowl babies ad last year, but you might have. Lots of people who were not me liked it. It’s the one with babies and kids (and some weird adults) wearing NFL jerseys reflecting on the teams (ew ew ew) responsible for their happy births (ew ew ew) exactly nine months after the teams’ Super Bowl victories (ew). Oh, and singing. They are singing about their decidedly not immaculate, greasy, fiesta dip-scented Super Bowl night conceptions.
With lyrics like, “What makes the Super Bowl so super? A day we adore. It is a day, so super, it's why we were born,” and, “Mommy and dad, they cuddled. Canoodled. All night. Baby,” the whole mess of a song sounds like a series of Trump tweets set to the tune of Seal’s “A Kiss From A Rose” (Seal even has a cameo in this creepy homage to Super Bowl sex. Dude. No words for you).
Before you chomp my head off, those of you who enjoy your Super Bowl served with a side of baby guacamole, I was not the only one creeped out by last year’s "When Daddy Impregnated Mommy" ad. I'm just saying.
But enough people gushed over the cute kids — and had a seemingly high tolerance for watching children thank the NFL for indirectly knocking up their mothers — so the NFL is at it again, for Chrissakes. This 2017 NFL Super Bowl ad is set to '80s prom ballad “You’re the Inspiration” and (if I get this right) features babies dressed as legendary NFL dudes. I think I recognized the first guy with the mustache, but it was all downhill after that for me — just one big drooling, diapered inside joke. (OH, I KNOW. YOU’RE SO CLEVER YOU RECOGNIZED EVERY SINGLE ONE. Fine. I like English Premier League soccer, so...)
Even the sound bytes released by NFL’s marketing department are ewwww: "The Super Bowl babies campaign idea has legs. And in this case, they’re baby legs.”
It's been a devastating time for Michael Bublé and his family. But we're relieved to hear that there's finally some hopeful news for Michael Bublé's 3-year-old son Noah, who has been undergoing treatment for cancer.
Bublé has opted out of numerous engagements to be with his son and his family during this awful time. A hosting gig with February's Brit Awards is off the table for now.
“We are so grateful to report that our son Noah has been progressing well during his treatment and the doctors are very optimistic about the future for our little boy,” Bublé stated on Facebook. "He has been brave throughout and we continue to be inspired by his courage. We thank God for the strength he has given all of us.”
Fans and friends from around the globe have been sending well wishes to the Bublé family to keep up their spirits. We especially love Shannen Doherty's message to the singer for Noah: "Stay positive. That positivity, that outlook on life that you can get through something, it actually does get you through.” Doherty has been battling cancer openly, documenting her own treatment — with much humor — in her frequent social media posts.
Welcome back to Parental Advisory, where I answer all of your social media and IRL parenting etiquette questions. This week, let's talk about Snapchat.
Question:
I've managed to hide most of my oversharing friends on FB and Instagram, but now they've got me with the Snaps.
It's not that I don't like kids; I'm more indifferent towards them. I have three nephews and love them dearly, but my siblings know I don't need to see pictures of them every day. One particular friend on Snapchat, though, sends daily kid snaps. I'd just block her outright, but she does occasionally send funny things going on in her life. I've never responded at all to any of her kid snaps, though I will occasionally respond to a funny snap during a night out.
If these kid snaps were just posted to her story, I'd have no issue, but she's taking the time to select my name and send them to me, and honestly, I don't care. How do I let her know without offending her? Is that even possible?
Childless in Chicago
Answer:
Sometimes I get the impression that people ask if they're "allowed" to tell their friends to stop posting/doing/saying something online because they just want permission to say whatever they want to say. Other times, I think it's because they want someone to talk them down and help rationalize why telling friends what to do online is never a good idea. In this case, I'm going to go with the latter. Maybe you just need someone to vent to, Childless in Chicago! And that's OK. That person can be me. And trust me, I know people can get a little cray on Snapchat, because I often get submissions like this:
Image: STFU Parents
As much as I'd like to be able to tell you to just block your friend (which it sounds like you're reluctant to do) or gently explain to her that you don't need to see these consistent/daily kid snaps, the pragmatic answer is to try to let it go.
The annoying thing is that as adults, we're all operating under certain notions of etiquette that tell us to be patient, tolerant and kind. This means that even when our friends start using their social media apps the way tweens use them, we'd be rude to call them out. It means that when people make the false assumption that you want to see pictures or videos of their kids every day, it would be inappropriate to ask them to please stop. The one exception to this rule is the hide or mute feature that some social media platforms offer (which doesn't alert the person to the fact that you're hiding/muting them), but that function doesn't exist on Snapchat, and even if it did, you'd never see her snaps again. It sounds like you do occasionally enjoy seeing some of her snaps and engaging, which takes the block feature off the table like you mentioned.
Therefore, your only real options are to: 1) Ask her to stop sending you the snaps, which is probably not going to go over very well (and might even rupture your friendship); 2) Not open the snaps, which isn't a great option because the notifications will always be sitting there; 3) Unfollow her and check the box that says you don't accept snaps from people you're not following; or 4) Ignore the snaps and slowly go crazy until you either block or unfollow her. Unfollowing might be the best of all the options — when you're ready to let her snaps go, of course — and it's worth considering that she could very well be sending these daily kid snaps to everyone she's friends with on Snapchat and might not even notice if you disappear.
The truth is that a lot of parents are on the right track when they try to protect their kids from overexposure on the internet (and protect their friends from being overexposed to 24/7 kid stuff), but the way they go about reducing that overexposure in one area — say, in their personal Facebook feed — can result in overexposure in another, like daily direct message snaps on Snapchat. Proud parents can have a tough time balancing the amount of kidformation they're feeding to their friends.
After years of articles about oversharing and the explosively viral app Unbaby.me, parents are aware that their friends don't always want Facebook to be a baby book. Some parents handle this by reducing the number of photos and videos, while others might open opt-in Facebook pages dedicated to all things baby. But Snapchat is one of those apps that came along without instructions or a series of articles telling people exactly how to use it. It relies on creative content shot through the eyes of the subjective user, and when people send each other snaps, there's a lot of gray area regarding what's acceptable or fun.
Image: STFU Parents
In this way, sending snaps is more like texting, where texters can feel each other out and mimic their friend's behavior for efficient communication. For instance, some people prefer sending big blocks of text, so when I engage with them, I don't tell a story over 25 separate texts. I can gather from their texting behavior that 25-plus texts in a row will drive them nuts. But with other friends, those short lines of text might be more apt. The same goes with emoji; you probably wouldn't send a single line with 13 emoji to someone who never uses emoji because you would look like an 11-year-old. We're all riding a narrow line when we use these apps, and for many of us, knowing how to use them without being annoying is a fluid guessing game. And for some parents, the fact that they can send several kid snaps per day means that, for now, they will. But something tells me that behavior could be short-lived.
We all use Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and Pinterest differently now than we did two, three or five years ago. Snapchat will be the same, and in many ways already is, with users switching up the frequency with which they use filters along with their engagement with the app in general. Snapping is fun for now for your friend, whose kid is only barely younger than Snapchat itself, but soon your friend will either get bored of using the app or get bored of sending the daily snaps (over using the main story function). It's also possible that you will stop using Snapchat too. The beauty of having so many social platforms is realizing that the more new platforms launch and compete with each other, the greater the chances are that our relationships to these platforms will change too. And at the end of the day, isn't that healthier for everyone?
I say there's no rush in unfollowing her, but don't give it a second thought if you do. Life is too short to worry about someone else noticing that we stopped following along with them on Snapchat. Social media will always have its drawbacks, but that doesn't mean you aren't allowed to curate your feeds and opt out of kid snaps when they feel like a chore. That said, if you do decide to ask your friend not to include you in her daily kid snaps, you should definitely snap it to her after applying a filter. The vampire filter will make you look like a serial killer, but the deer or the puppy filters should work like a charm.
Do YOU have a question about parents on social media? Send whatever is on your mind to stfuparentsblog AT gmail.com!
I came late to the Idris Elba appreciation fan club, and for this, I apologize.
For years I heard y'all talking and I didn't listen. I heard the chatter about him needing to be the next Bond, and I found myself shrugging. I shrugged. I mean, I could see that he was a good-looking man, but Bond? James Bond? I'll be honest: I thought you were reaching.
One night, I sat down and began watching a little show called Luther — you may have heard of it. And the moment this man opened his mouth, I was in love. Lust. Both. All of it. I've been drinking up any and all Idris Elba news I can get my hands on ever since, but this latest tidbit might just be the juiciest one of all.
You see, Elba is offering us the chance to win a date with him.
Idris Elba VDay 1
Idris Elba VDay 1
But that's not even the best part!
The best part is that he's not soliciting dates online to stunt for an upcoming film or to boost his ego. Elba is participating in this date lottery in order to fundraise for an organization called W.E. Can Lead, which seeks to educate and empower young girls.
Omaze describes the organization as being "committed to ensuring young girls receive the educational opportunity, leadership development and mentoring support necessary to become the new generation of female leaders across the continent of Africa. Safe spaces are created for girls to learn critical life skills, build self-esteem and defy the cultural norms that hinder them from fulfilling their full potential. W.E. Can Lead strives to empower girls to become influential leaders and decision-makers in their homes, communities and eventually their country."
As causes go, Elba has put his weight behind an incredibly important one, and just when I thought I wasn't possible to love him more, I do.
A velvet-voiced man, handsome as all hell, who respects women and enthusiastically supports their rights to education and autonomy? Yes, please.
I've been following this initiative since it launched, but it's the latest installment of Elba's fundraising campaign that got my attention.
Take a look:
Idris Elba VDay
Idris Elba VDay
First of all, he obviously loves kids, and I just so happen to have a kid! Could this be any more perfect?
Second, he is wearing the shit out of that sweater, and just look at the way his pants hang off him — unf.
But also! Literally every single suggestion given by those adorable little ragamuffins would work on me. 100 percent.
"Take the girl somewhere nice, like, somewhere she likes...pay for everything and agree with everything she says," says one adorable little nugget, and although I'm a 21st-century woman who has no problem going dutch or treating a man, I can't deny that this would go over well.
Another precocious charmer advises Elba to dance with his date romantically, "and then you can kiss her." Um, yes. Yes, you can kiss her. And by "her," I mean me. Several times.
Yet another kid advises Elba to tell a girl he likes her in a song, and although even I can't deny that Elba's songs are pretty weak, if he were sitting in front of me singing, I'd be swooning because it's Idris Elba and did you see him dancing?
If you'd like to support W.E. Can Lead and take a chance on winning a date with my future husband, click here.
Mariah Carey has been fighting a hard, public battle for more than 10 years now — with herself. Since the early 2000s, media has been lumping her into the category of fallen '90s angel, not unlike the very public, very widely reported struggles of Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera to maintain their '90s viselike grip on pop and popularity.
In fact, Mariah’s 2005 release of The Emancipation of Mimi was supposed to be a rebuttal to just that, but instead it was met by a Mad TV sketch and a review from Rolling Stone that began, “First off: Mariah Carey's ninth album, The Emancipation of Mimi, doesn't suck as comprehensively as 2001's Glitter or 2002's Charmbracelet.” It’s been a rough millennium so far for Mimi. But if the headlines she’s grabbed in the first month of 2017 are any indication, she doesn’t give a fuck anymore.
I believe this "new" Mariah is nothing new, though. It all began about 10 years ago in a bathtub. If there is anything iconic about the singer (which I personally would argue there is plenty — she will be a Christmas staple for the rest of time, and try to look at a butterfly and not see her face), it was her infamous dip into that gilded tub on MTV’s Cribs.
Mariah Carey in bathtub
Mariah Carey in bathtub
The show, which exalted excess, gave celebrities a platform to embarrass themselves and was able to exist in a pre-Obama era before everyone got woke, is almost something out of today’s Trump era. Carey, appearing right after Emancipation’s release, provided the show’s most watched and replayed episode. With one flick of some bubbles, she gave a middle finger to everyone mocking her. Yes, maybe she’d lost some musical credibility and confidence, but here she was, still obscenely wealthy, sexy enough to get naked on camera and interesting enough to hold an hour-long special edition of the show.
So, what shouldn’t be surprising is that fact that Carey is still very much that bathtub girl. In December, when she gave what is probably the most talked-about Times Square New Year's Eve performance of all time, it wasn’t because she nailed it. It was because she handled not nailing it in such an inspirational way. I know that whenever things go wrong in my life in 2017, I will be channeling Carey shoving her way through those feathers at the end; half dancing, half eye-rolling through a five-minute public calamity.
But that was just the tip of the iceberg. Now, she’s becoming the ultimate role model for any broken-hearted, downtrodden woman by live streaming in only lingerie and working out in only lingerie, all in order to promote a music video.
Mariah Carey working out in fishnets
Mariah Carey working out in fishnets
Not just any music video. Her new video (watch below) was filmed in the Calabasas mansion she used to share with now ex-fiancé James Packer, with whom her breakup was very publicized and fiery. In it, Carey burns the $250,000 custom Valentino wedding dress she would have worn to walk down the aisle. If every woman in America who has ever ended an engagement or been divorced or broken up with didn’t go outside wearing only a bra and pour out a whole bottle of rosé in tribute, this isn’t America.
If you’re still with me, you now fully understand the evolution of Mimi (feel free to use that as your next record title, girl). Carey at age 46 is the diva we’ve always needed but never knew we wanted. After falling from great heights, she has done something quite different from a comeback: She carved out a career trajectory that wasn’t expected. She didn’t grovel for the same slot. She picked out a new one and said, “Come buy a ticket.” She stayed fabulous when everyone told her she wasn’t. She’s had twins and you're blowing up her live feed with “send nudes.” She’s a goddamn hero.
Mariah Carey's 'I Don't' music video
Mariah Carey's 'I Don't' music video
What do you think of Mariah Carey's new music video? Let us know in the comments below.
It wasn't until 1984 that the first law (in New York state) was passed in the U.S. mandating the use of seat belts. Until then, kids roamed wild in cars, clinging on for dear life whenever mom took a sharp corner. Dangerous? Sure. More exciting than being strapped down? Hell yeah. When I was a baby, I was placed on the rear seat of our car in my Moses basket for a two-hour journey. No joke.
2. We rode our bikes naked (OK, without helmets)
If I sent my kid out on their bike without a helmet on, I'd be hung, drawn and quartered by the local parenting police. Today, 22 states have laws regarding mandatory helmet use by minors on bikes. No parent wants their precious child to crack their head on the sidewalk, of course. But there's something about cycling without a helmet that's just so liberating. Would Stand By Me have been as cool if Gordie and gang had their heads encased in foamed polymer linings?
3. We played outdoors! Unsupervised!
When I get all rose-tinted glasses about my childhood, I'm 8 years old and running around the park with my sister and our friends. Our knees are dirty and our imaginations are running wild. The best part is that our parents are nowhere to be seen. We were — gasp! — playing outdoors unsupervised, and we did it every day we possibly could, weather permitting. Please don't throw up in your mouth when I tell you I can still remember the sound of the crickets in the long grass, because it's true. What will our kids remember when they think back to their childhood playtimes? The tug of the reins on their backs as they try to drag their mothers into the sandpit? The communal sharp intake of breath from the adults watching their every move as they dangle from the playground monkey bars? Hey, maybe our parents got it right — recent studies say unsupervised play is better for our kids.
4. The supermarket parking lot was our second home
Now that we're reminiscing, I have to say that the setting of some of my most vivid childhood memories was the back of my parents' car, which suggests that I spent quite a lot of my time there. Currently, 19 states in the U.S. have laws making it illegal to leave a child unattended in a vehicle. In the U.K., where I grew up, it's still left to the parent's discretion — but you'd think it was a criminal offense judging by some people's attitudes. Listen, if my mom hadn't left my sister and me in the car while she went into the supermarket, we wouldn't have the "She bit me on the belly" story, which we've dined (and drunk) out on many a time. Priceless memories, people.
5. We walked to school on our own, even when it snowed
My dad has a story about walking miles to school on his own that he loves to share on a regular basis. It may have been exaggerated over the years. We walked to school as kids too — not miles, but far enough. Today, parents in some countries are threatened with incarceration if they let their kids walk to school alone. Walking to school alone was never really walking to school alone though, was it? We walked in big groups, plotting and giggling and pretending to be cool and staring at the back of the head of the boy we crushed on. If it was snowing and we could arrive at school with damp hair and red cheeks, all the better.
6. If we wanted junk food, we got it ourselves
I suspect my mother had an enormous jar of candy stashed somewhere in the kitchen and gave us a handful of coins and sent us to the local store just to get us out of her hair for half an hour. Now that I'm a mom, I can totally relate. And I envy her, because I can't do that with my kids. (See above re: parenting police.) My sister and I loved jumping on our bikes (without helmets, naturally) and pedaling to the store to spend our money on whatever tooth-rotting crap we wanted. It was freedom. It was independence. It was a much-needed break for our mom.
7. We traveled the world on trains, planes and automobiles
OK, maybe not. But we did sometimes go on public transportation without our parents. I remember a school friend of mine telling me that her mom used to put her on a train every summer to visit her grandparents, who would be waiting for her on the platform at the end of her two-hour journey. I was incredibly jealous of how grown-up that was. I imagined my friend meeting lots of interesting people and arriving at her destination a more mature, better version of herself. Nowadays, there are strict rules concerning a minor traveling unaccompanied by an adult. Killjoys.
Last month I wrote about how bipolar disorder had cost me – well, not the ability – but the capacity to read. I am intensely thankful that the concentration, focus, and motivation to read have returned as my healing has progressed.
But there are some other things that are missing from my life that I wish desperately that I could get back. Or wish I had never lost in the first place. (Depression is very much with me right now, so forgive me if I dwell in the past with my failures a bit.)
First are friends. I've written about this before too, but the subject was brought home to me recently when I received a fuck-off letter from a former friend I was trying to reach out to, in hopes of reestablishing the relationship. One of her main reasons for cutting me off was that every time we went out, she felt it was "her and me and my misery."
She did acknowledge that at times our friendship had been burdened by her misery too, but evidently that either didn't count as much, or else mine lasted too long. (If it was too long for her, it was even longer for me.) I am very disappointed that, now that my "black dog" is smaller and on a leash, she found other reasons not to associate with me. To make it more ironic, she has been a therapist and now teaches psychology.
I also miss having a steady paycheck. My last 9-5 office job was over ten years ago, and since then my mental state has not allowed me to get and keep another such position. The security of knowing how much money I would have every month allowed me to plan.
And to travel. I really miss traveling. Admittedly, part of my inability to travel now is determined by my physical health. But my anxiety would make it just that much more difficult. Now I can barely get away for a weekend, and even then I must carefully monitor my moods, limit my activities, track my eating and sleeping, and avoid crowds.
One of my deepest regrets is that when I was undiagnosed and untreated, I couldn't fulfill my potential. I attended an Ivy League university, but I can't say I got out of it what I could or should have. I feel now that I skated by, impeded by many depressive spells, lack of focus and concentration, and confusion. I even took a year off to get my head together, but since that didn't include getting help for my bipolar disorder, its value was questionable.
Lest this seem like nothing but whining (which my depression is telling is what it is), there are also some things that bipolar disorder has taken from me that I don't miss at all.
Oddly, one of them is a 9-5 office job. While I do miss the steady paycheck, I absolutely don't miss the things that came with it. Now, doing freelance work, I can fit my work around the things I need to do (like seeing my therapist) and the things I have to do (like slowing down when depression hits). I don't have to get up at the same time every day and dress appropriately (if at all) and try to fit in and socialize with my co-workers. That was never easy for me and became nearly impossible after my big meltdown.
And, as much as I miss travel, I don't miss business travel. Again, being "on" all the time, for days at a time, with no time or place to decompress, would be impossible now. Since we usually had to share hotel rooms, there wasn't even a chance for any alone time, which I need a fair amount of. I could never get the hang of "team eating" either.
Finally, I don't miss the boyfriend who took an already broken me and broke me worse. (I wrote about him in my post about gaslighting.) My self-esteem was not great before the relationship, but afterward it went into negative numbers. Self-harm, self-medication, self-doubt, and negative self-talk were what I had instead. But Rex didn't do it alone. He had my bipolar disorder there to reinforce his words and actions. And to not let me see what was happening.
Bipolar disorder is a balancing act, in more ways than one. It takes away good things from our lives. But my therapist reminds me that it also gives an opportunity – as I rebuild my life, I can choose which pieces I want to reclaim and which I want to discard. And the parts I can rebuild are what I should concentrate on.
And I will, once this spell of depression releases me.
Need a good cry? No? Well, too bad. Unless you're a secret cyborg sent here from the future sans tear ducts, the following movie scenes will make you feel all the feels and cry all the tears.
Full disclosure: Many grown-ass woman tears were shed in the making of this article.
1. The Green Mile
Saddest scenes: The Green Mile
Saddest scenes: The Green Mile
If you can make it through John Coffey's execution scene without shedding a tear (especially since the tragic passing of Michael Clarke Duncan), you are a freak of nature and should be studied in a government lab somewhere.
2. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Saddest scenes: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Saddest scenes: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Few movies capture the beautiful pain of love better than this one. "Please let me keep this memory... just this one." Gird your hearts, people — that line'll get ya good.
3. Up
Saddest scenes: Up
Saddest scenes: Up
How can one montage be so happy and so sad at the same time? This montage of Ellie and Carl's marriage is a poignant tribute to true love. Which, ICYMI, is code for "a series of scenes that will rip your still-beating heart right out of your chest."
4. Forrest Gump
Saddest scenes: Forrest Gump
Saddest scenes: Forrest Gump
I'm 87 percent certain that whoever coined the phrase "ugly cry" did so after watching this scene and hearing Forrest say, "I miss you, Jenny."
5. Big Fish
Saddest scenes: Big Fish
Saddest scenes: Big Fish
"You became what you always were — a very big fish." If that doesn't get you right in the feels, you may not have any. You should see someone about that.
6. Iron Giant
Saddest scenes: Iron Giant
Saddest scenes: Iron Giant
First of all, Iron Giant is a grossly underrated film. Second of all, this classic "You stay, I go, no following" scene will make you cry like it's 1999.
7. The Pursuit of Happyness
Saddest scenes: The Pursuit of Happyness
Saddest scenes: The Pursuit of Happyness
It was a toss-up between this scene when he gets the job or the scene where he and his son sleep on the floor of the subway bathroom. TBH, they both have maximum blubbering potential.
8. The Boy in the Striped Pajamas
Saddest scenes: Boy in the Striped Pajamas
Saddest scenes: Boy in the Striped Pajamas
This is one of those scenes that was sad in and of itself but also completely haunting because of the historical background.
FOR GOODNESS SAKE, SOMEONE GIVE THOMAS J. HIS GOSH-DARN GLASSES!
10. Click
Saddest scenes: Click
Saddest scenes: Click
Yes, Adam Sandler made the list. This surprisingly tender scene in Click may lead to you obnoxiously over-hugging your family for weeksmonthsyearsever.
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11. The Neverending Story
Saddest scenes: Neverending Story
Saddest scenes: Neverending Story
If you're anything like me, you were never quite the same after watching Artax die in the Swamp of Sadness.
12. Dead Poets Society
Saddest scenes: Dead Poets Society
Saddest scenes: Dead Poets Society
Robin Williams will always be "O captain, my captain" in our hearts. (It's OK to cry.)
13. Legends of the Fall
Saddest scenes: Legends of the Fall
Saddest scenes: Legends of the Fall
Samuel, why did you try to be the hero? Why didn't you listen to Tristan, Samuel? There is no point in time when this scene won't break your heart into a million pieces.
14. Braveheart
Saddest scenes: Braveheart
Saddest scenes: Braveheart
FREEEEEEEEEDOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM. God, that never gets old.
15. The Lion King
Saddest scenes: The Lion King
Saddest scenes: The Lion King
Disney was obviously hellbent on teaching kids the brutality of reality early in life. Mission accomplished, Mr. Diz. Mission accomplished.
16. Armageddon
Saddest scenes: Armageddon
Saddest scenes: Armageddon
That single tear rolling down Bruce Willis' cheek is enough to turn grown men into man-babies.
17. Marley & Me
Saddest scenes: Marley & Me
Saddest scenes: Marley & Me
I think we can all agree that any scene where a beloved family pet dies is simultaneously the sweetest and saddest thing ever. #RIPMarley
18. Steel Magnolias
Saddest scenes: Steel Magnolias
Saddest scenes: Steel Magnolias
While this scene ends on a high note, M'Lynn (Sally Fields) losing her composure at Shelby's (Julia Roberts) funeral is the cinematic equivalent of putting your heart into a blender and hitting puree.
19. Dumbo
Saddest scenes: Dumbo
Saddest scenes: Dumbo
Damn you, Disney! Every. Single. Time.
20. Good Will Hunting
Saddest scenes: Good Will Hunting
Saddest scenes: Good Will Hunting
Robin Williams and Matt Damon pour so much emotion into this one scene that it feels like their sadness spills out of the screen and stains your very soul. True story.
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21. The Notebook
Saddest scenes: The Notebook
Saddest scenes: The Notebook
Noah and Allie will forever be #RelationshipGoals. Even though they broke our gosh-darn hearts when they died in that bed together.
Tied for close second saddest scene in this tearjerker: When Susan Sarandon's character comes home from treatment and sees the cardboard cut-outs of her kids. Or the final Christmas she spends saying good-bye to them. *sobs silently*
23. Hook
Saddest scenes: Hook
Saddest scenes: Hook
"You know what I wish? I wish I had a dad like you." With this moment, Captain Hook plunged a rapier into Rufio... and the collective heart of everyone who has ever watched this classic.
24. Homeward Bound
Saddest scenes: Homeward Bound
Saddest scenes: Homeward Bound
S-S-Shadow? Is that you, boy? It is Shadow, you guys... it is! This was quite possibly the most heart-tugging scene in every '90s kid's childhood.
25. Castaway
Saddest scenes: Castaway
Saddest scenes: Castaway
By the point in this movie when Wilson floats away, we are all so invested in that damn ball that it feels like we lost a best friend, too. Tom Hanks clearly loves to toy with our emotions.
26. The Fox and the Hound
Saddest scenes: The Fox and the Hound
Saddest scenes: The Fox and the Hound
Listen, we all know the old lady was doing what she thought was in Tod's best interest. But that didn't make us any less irrationally angry at her for abandoning the cute little guy and breaking his little fox heart.
27. Patch Adams
Saddest scenes: Patch Adams
Saddest scenes: Patch Adams
When Carin opens up to Patch about her past, when she gets killed, when he reads the Pablo Neruda poem at her funeral, when he gets the little old lady to swim in spaghetti, this scene — it's nearly impossible to pick only one saddest scene from Patch Adams.
28. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
Saddest scenes: Harry Potter
Saddest scenes: Harry Potter
After watching this scene, it's totally understandable if you need some alone time in a safe space. Dobby was a friend to us all, y'all.
When he starts crying for his mom? There are no words. Just tears.
30. A Walk to Remember
Saddest scenes: A Walk to Remember
Saddest scenes: A Walk to Remember
The fact that Mandy Moore has Precious Moments eyes for the majority of this film makes it impossible not to be sucked into the sadness.
31. I Am Legend
Saddest scenes: I Am Legend
Saddest scenes: I Am Legend
In the future, if someone could just tell me ahead of time that a dog is going to die so I can avoid the movie altogether, that would be super. Kthxbai.
32. The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
Saddest scenes: LOTR
Saddest scenes: LOTR
If Noah and Allie are forever #RelationshipGoals, then Samwise Gamgee and Frodo Baggins are forever #SquadGoals.
33. The Land Before Time
Saddest scenes: The Land Before Time
Saddest scenes: The Land Before Time
Add this to the tally of Disney movies that made us all deathly afraid of losing our parents to an untimely demise. Remind me why we subjected ourselves to these movies over and over again?
34. Cold Mountain
Saddest scenes: Cold Mountain
Saddest scenes: Cold Mountain
The moment Ada realizes Inman has finally come back to her is the moment we all learn from personal experience that you can't actually drown in your own tears.
35. Fried Green Tomatoes
Saddest scenes: Fried Green Tomatoes
Saddest scenes: Fried Green Tomatoes
"Miss Ruth was a lady, and a lady always knows when to leave." BRB, just need to sob uncontrollably in the corner for a bit. As you were.
Author note: This article discusses disordered eating.
Eating disorders can be a sensitive subject to discuss. Around 30 million people of all ages and genders suffer from disordered eating in the United States according to the National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders. If you know someone who has an eating disorder or someone you think may have one, it’s important to carefully address the problem and show your support.
1. Know the myths and warning signs
If your friend or family member has not specifically said they have an eating disorder, it can sometimes be tricky to know for sure if they are struggling.
Although eating disorders are most common in young women, anyone can suffer from an eating disorder. People in all shapes and sizes can also suffer from an eating disorder, not just those who are underweight.
Anorexia nervosa is an eating disorder characterized by the anxiety of gaining weight or a distorted perception of body weight. People who suffer from this disorder often associate their self-worth with being thin.
Bulimia nervosa is a disorder classified by being overly preoccupied with weight and body image. Someone with bulimia may often purge their food through vomiting, laxatives or fasting.
Binge-eating disorder is defined as reoccurring episodes of eating a large amount of food, often to the point of discomfort. Someone who suffers from binge-eating disorder may binge in secret and feel ashamed, guilty or distressed afterward.
When approaching your friend or family member about their eating disorder, it’s crucial to use a non-accusatory tone. You want to make them feel that you’re safe to talk to and let them know it’s a judgment-free zone.
In your discussion, you could say something like, “I’ve noticed you’ve been skipping meals lately, I care about you and I’m worried.” Direct the conversation less in the direction of their appearance and make it more about their emotions. Has their eating disorder affected their mood? You could add, “You seem stressed out during meals. Would you want to talk about what’s stressing you out?”
From my personal experience talking to a friend about their eating disorder, I’ve learned it’s extremely important not to make any promises that cannot be kept. For example, that person may ask you to keep their eating disorder a secret. If you end up having to reach out for extra support from other close friends and family members, it will make your friend feel like you’ve betrayed their trust — even if you broke your promise with good intentions. Let them know you’re by their side for support and encourage them to seek help.
There is a possibility that your friend or family member is in denial about their eating disorder. In that situation, I recommend speaking to another close friend or family member who will get professional help.
Disordered eating is a serious life-threatening condition. If you notice warning signs in a close friend or family member, speak out. You could be saving their life.
I wanted to see Sing since the previews began trickling into theaters during the summer. We’d been planning to see it for months. But what I hadn’t planned on was being so affected by the theme, and so inspired to live more authentically.
With news of the imminent closing of a well-known theater due to lackluster business, Buster Moon, its overly optimistic koala owner (voiced by Matthew McConaughy) decides to host a singing contest, à la American Idol, in a last-ditch attempt to save it. His well-meaning, yet slightly senile secretary helps create the flyers, and instead of advertising a $100 prize to the winner, they offer $100,000, and send the flyers out a window, which brings singers of all species out of the woodwork (literally) to audition.
I learned a lot from this movie (mostly that I am most definitely a Rosita, voiced by Reese Witherspoon!), but these are the lessons my family brought home:
1. Never Give Up
Despite a mountain of bad luck and bad breaks to each contestant, Buster, and his theater, it would have been quite simple to throw in the towel, can the show, and allow the theater be taken over by the bank. But the passion in each contestant to get up each day and make it work pulled them through.
As a mom with small children myself, I know it’s hard to get back out there. It’s even harder to pursue a passion in which not everyone believes. But if Rosita did it, so can I, and so can you. If Johnny, the getaway car driver for his family, can break out of that life to follow his heart, so can we - and so can our kids.
3. Have Faith
I can assure you that at any point during that film, each contestant could have just walked away and moved on with their lives, but they believed. They had faith in what they were doing, and that somehow it would all work out. And it did.
Despite each contestant’s seemingly impossible struggles, they all showed up, rehearsed, performed, and eventually helped to give the theater new life. This would not have occurred if they stopped believing in themselves or each other.
5. Anything Can Happen
This one’s my favorite. And my favorite in life. Sometimes curveballs are thrown to knock you off your path. It’s so easy give up. How often do we throw up our hands and walk away? Who of the contestants would have imagined they’d be performing on a makeshift stage among rubble? There’s value in seeing commitments through to the end. It’s a lesson for all of us, because we never truly know what can happen.
This group simply would not give up. Despite fires, floods, cold, darkness, discouragement, and depression, each was encouraged by another member of the group to keep going.
Sing is a funny and heartwarming movie about perseverance, hope, and following your heart. Take your family to see it.
The latest of Donald Trump's seemingly endless series of executive orders could spell terrifying news for children. A draft of the order leaked to the The Washington Postshows that it would curb government assistance to immigrants, including nutritional programs that help 45.3 percent of low-income immigrants with children put food on the table. While some of those first-generation immigrants might not be legal US citizens, 88 percent of their kids are. Even scarier, these same children could be orphaned if their parents are deported, another serious risk if this order is signed.
In addition to making it harder for some American children to eat, the order would crack down on which immigrants are allowed into the US. Traditionally, the likelihood of an immigrant's dependence on public assistance isn't taken into consideration during their immigration application. Now, not only will that be a deciding factor in whether or not immigrants can come, it could also be a deciding factor in whether or not they can stay—even if they’ve been legally living here for years. The order would allow officials to deport families who are recipients of income-based public benefits.
This means that the United States would be discriminating against poor immigrants and their children, many of whom need our help the most. Keep in mind that these noncitizen immigrants pay the same taxes as American citizens do, meaning they're helping to pay for a system that they would be barred from benefiting from. To make an abhorrent situation even more heartbreaking, there are many cases where immigrant parents are deported with little notice, separated from their children who are US citizens.
So, what the hell would motivate Trump to sign such extreme, harmful legislation? It's estimated that this move could potentially save the government billions of dollars. But it could also plunge as many as 3.7 million households into food insecurity, according to the Washington Post, and research shows that children who are food-insecure are (obviously) likelier to have health problems, which, ironically, ends up costing the government more money in the long run.
So basically, setting aside how morally wrong and backwards it is in every way, on a purely practical level, the order is a short-term solution to a financial problem that will ultimately still end up growing. To call it shortsighted would be a serious understatement.
Hopefully this executive order will go through some major re-drafting—or, better off, not be signed at all. Otherwise, millions of kids will be the innocent victims of a government who decided to let them go hungry and even be orphaned in order to save a buck. Exactly what kind of country are we, America?
