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Vaginismus makes trips to the gynecologist excruciating

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“All right, hun, you have to spread those legs a little wider so I can get in there.”

I lay frozen on my back, my brain unwilling to tell my legs what to do. In all the years I had been going to the gynecologist, I never once had a physical exam. This was because I have vaginismus, a condition that makes penetration painful for my tense vagina.

More: Why I was a 45-year-old virgin

Today, my doctor convinced me I needed a physical exam (despite me explaining my painful sex disorder to her), and that it wouldn’t hurt. I was doubtful of her claim and terrified at the idea of having anything penetrate me. But I complied.

Besides, she was a doctor. She must know what she’s doing.

As she lubed up her gloved fingers, she explained that she would have to press on my uterus.

“Wait, isn’t that really far back?” I asked.

“No, not really,” she said.

More: Sex shouldn't hurt, but here are 7 reasons why it might

As I struggled to keep my legs open, she slipped her finger inside of me and I quickly learned that the uterus is, in fact, really far back. At least for people with vaginismus. At least for me.

Her finger created a pain so sharp that my only reaction was to yell and beg her to stop. As I lay on the exam table, her only response was to dismiss me and calmly tell me to hold on for a little longer.

I didn’t even know what she was doing in there by that point — all I knew was that my paper gown was drenched in sweat and my thighs had begun to shake uncontrollably from the building pressure and pain between my legs. I was convinced I was going to puke. I tried to breathe through it. I told myself, “It’ll be over soon.” I concentrated on trying to regulate my shaky breath.

Five minutes later for her, a lifetime for me, it was done.

When her finger finally emerged from my vagina, I felt too dizzy and upset to stand. The pain between my legs was a throbbing one.

“That hurt so much because you’re a virgin,” she told me as she washed her hands. “It’ll feel better when it’s with someone you love.”

I felt sick to my stomach as I got up and put my clothes back on in a daze. I glared at her and never returned to her office again.

This wasn’t the first time I felt assaulted — but it was the first time a doctor had violated me.

For me, and for many others I know who have vaginismus, going to the gyno is anywhere from frustrating to terrifying. There just doesn’t seem to be much education surrounding vaginismus for doctors to understand that “being gentle” or “just for a minute” doesn’t make a difference.

More: Your vagina has needs that you're probably not fulfilling

Now, I cringe when I’m at or near a gyno office. To be honest, I avoid them at all costs. Until this past summer, I hadn’t seen a gynecologist in two years. I made an appointment with one in order to get my hormone levels tested, as my mood disorder tends to get more severe the week before my period. Before trying psychoactive drugs, I just wanted to get a blood test to ensure that my mood changes weren’t the result of a hormonal imbalance.

Despite my intentions for the visit, I was asked to lie down and get a transvaginal ultrasound almost as soon as I got there. I declined after much coaxing, explaining my reason for visiting and telling the nurse I had vaginismus. She looked at me blankly and nodded.

As I waited in the exam room for my doctor to appear, anxiety washed over me all over again. Would she force me to pull my pants down? Luckily, I had brought my partner with me, who told me I didn’t have to do anything I didn’t want to do and that we’d walk out if she asks.

And boy did she ask. She tried coaxing me for about 10 minutes into letting her give me a pap smear. When I told her I had vaginismus, she said she would be really gentle.

“If I can do it on old ladies, I can do it on you,” she said.

I started sweating as my heart pounded. I stood my ground and told her the reason I was here again.

“I can only give you a blood test if I can take a pap smear.”

Confused and annoyed, my partner and I left her office.

It frustrates me that I can’t have proper access to reproductive health care because I have a painful sex disorder and now because I have PTSD associated with my experience with gynecologists. To this day, I’m still too afraid to go to one to discuss the abnormalities in my period or get tested for STDs, let alone ask about what they can do to help my vaginismus. My trust has been breached too many times, and I’m simply too afraid to step into another OB-GYN's office.

One day, I hope to gather the courage again to return to a gynecologist, this time to someone who has greater understanding for folks who have been assaulted and who have painful sex disorders.

I shouldn’t have to worry about whether I’ll be hurt, triggered or traumatized when I visit my gyno. I want to feel as empowered and in charge of my health as every other person going there does.

By Meg Zulch

Originally published on HelloFlo.


Should your college-bound child consider spring admissions?

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Though many people think of the fall semester as the traditional time to begin college, there are other roads to an enjoyable and enriching higher education. Certain academic programs invite freshmen onto campus in the summer, well before the entire student body arrives, while other students start college in mid- to late-January.

This path, which is more commonly known as spring admissions, can seem like a disappointing departure from the regular admissions cycle. But in many situations, it can actually be advantageous. So—is spring admissions right for your college-bound child? Here are three scenarios where it just might be: 

1. She has her heart set on a particular college or university

Picture this: you and your family visit the campus of a well-respected school, and your child immediately falls in love with its academic and extracurricular offerings, its environment, and the student body’s diversity. She is a competitive applicant, but there are also many other equally competitive students in the running. When she receives a response to her application, she is disappointed to realize she has been accepted for the spring semester—not the fall. Should she still attend the college or university? If it is truly her first choice, the answer is, “Yes!” As admissions competition continues to increase, certain schools have begun to use spring offers as a means of accepting more deserving students. So, congratulate your child, and submit that college deposit!

More: How to get the most out of your parent-teacher conferences

2. She hopes to complete a “gap semester”

The term “gap year” is perhaps more common than “gap semester,” but both are potentially enriching experiences for a college-bound individual. Maybe your student would like to travel throughout Asia or Europe for several months, or maybe she would like to gather hands-on career information before committing to a single major or academic track. In either instance, beginning college in January, rather than in August or September, can enable your child to properly research gap semester experiences or programs, begin said experiences or programs, and then apply to schools with the preliminary knowledge that she has gained as a framework for her decisions. Spring admissions also allows her to start college only one semester behind her peers, rather than two.

More: 4 common home schooling challenges that you can absolutely overcome

3. She wishes to improve her academic record

From time to time, a student finishes high school with an academic record that does not truly reflect her potential. She may have been distracted by social concerns or transitional issues in her freshman year, or she may have enrolled in one too many AP, honors, or IB courses as a sophomore. Perhaps chemistry or physics was an unexpected blow to her junior-year GPA. The beauty of spring admissions is that your child can use these extra months to repair and strengthen her transcript. Summer classes at a community college can demonstrate her readiness for university-level work, for instance. Online courses at a potential school are a second option that students and their families can also consider—their flexibility may be much appreciated during the busy period between high school graduation and college matriculation!

More: No, your kid doesn't have to do every extracurricular activity

For more tips and strategies to help your student succeed in school, visit varsitytutors.com.

Parental Advisory: How do I get my BFF to stop bugging me about having kids?

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Welcome back to Parental Advisory, where I answer all of your social media and IRL parenting etiquette questions. This week, let's talk about moms who relentlessly badger their childless friends about why they should have kids.

Question:

My best friend had a baby. Which was fine — I don't hate children, I've worked with them and they're okay. My problem is that every single time I see her (not very often) or speak to her, she's constantly telling me that "one day I'll change my mind and want kids! They change your life!! They're just so excellent!!! They smile and the world is suddenly the best!!!!"

Let me clarify some things here.

Firstly, I'm going to college next year and I plan to be the disorganized, creative type for pretty much the rest of my life.

Secondly, I did want kids — when I was five years old and thought that that was a requirement. I had a doll that peed and I LOVED IT. (Until my twin siblings shoved raisins in every dent and hole there was, but that's a story for another day.)

Thirdly, I'm currently facing infertility, and she knows. She fucking knows. She's the only person I've told and we've talked about it so many times, so it's not forgetfulness. She says it in front of a group of our friends and I have to play along. "Haha, yeah, maybe I'll change my mind one day (and maybe I'll grow a new, healthy uterus too)"

How do I get her to just stop asking me to push a watermelon out of my vagina? And more importantly, why is her OWN "little princess" not enough?

Signed,

J.

Answer: 

Whether it's overt or slightly subversive, women are often told through media, schooling, our jobs, our families and our friends that being a mother is every woman's supreme destiny, and to deny herself of the joy of motherhood would be a sad, desperate, lonely mistake. It sucks, because men aren't fed this bullshit nearly as much as women are, and what we need in this world are more female CEOs, not men who manage to avoid certain trappings and are rewarded for it. When a woman chooses to be the "disorganized, creative type" (a description I love, by the way), she's choosing to put herself and her interests and passions ahead of everything else. To some people, like me, that's inspiring and pragmatic. To others, like your best friend, it sounds somehow "incomplete."

Semester
Image: STFU Parents

Women should be praised, as men regularly are, for pursuing academic and career goals, but instead they're met with frequent societal urges to have a baby, because babies are "just so excellent!!!" Think about all the 40-something actresses who do press junkets and still get asked dozens of times for hours on end if they want to have kids. It's exhausting. Just being a woman and answering this question however many times throughout a lifetime must add up to at least a few months' worth of explaining, which is why it's especially frustrating when the one doing the prodding is a trusted friend. Women should never have to outline their stance on motherhood as it applies to them (or their bodies), and they certainly don't need any added stress brought on by confidants.

Kids bubble
Image: STFU Parents

It's possible that your best friend just likes the idea of you being a mother and thinks you'd make a great mom. She might think she's being playful or cute. She might also be living in a bubble. But the fact that she's ignoring your health complications and ignoring your "playing along with her" approach in group settings tells me that her head is firmly lodged up her ass on this subject and she's not reading whatever signs you may be putting out.

What you need to do is dispel her ignorance, privately, and explain that just because she's having a great experience as a first-time mom doesn't mean you want to have kids any time soon. Remind her that you're facing infertility and you don't know if she realizes how hurtful her casual references are. Tell her that you're happy for her to love being a mom, but your plan is to discover who you are in college and then pursue unpredictable creative work before even thinking about starting a family. With any luck, she'll find your aspirations as compelling a topic of conversation as the topic of motherhood. If she doesn't, she's probably not your best friend, and you might want to focus on other friendships for a while. Nothing helps you achieve your creative goals faster than surrounding yourself with other people who are pursuing their dreams. You already said you don't see her that often, so maybe now is a time for you guys to do your own thing while still remaining friends. It happens to the best of us, and it doesn't mean your friendship has to end.

Women who insist that other women become mothers because it's "THE BEST!1!!!" don't always realize how insensitive they sound. At the mercy of their hormones and with an awareness that they just made, carried and birthed a tiny human who brings them so much happiness, they become sheltered from certain realities. They disregard that friends might be going through a difficult time. They don't accept that some women just don't have the "mommy gene" and are fine with that. Women could literally shout from the rooftops that they're happy just as they are, and will be forever, and they'd still encounter an assembly line of baby-diapering mommies telling them they'll change their minds one day — and if they think they won't, they really should.

It doesn't help that articles circulate online with headlines like "America's birth rate is now a national emergency" and "U.S. Birth Rate Falls Slightly While Death Rate Rises," which play up this idea that women and their uteruses aren't fulfilling their "job." God forbid women opt out of motherhood and find other ways to "have it all." The economy is counting on us!! It's also worth mentioning that even when women do manage to balance impressive careers with motherhood, they're sometimes revered more for the latter than the former — a fact we were all reminded of when The New York Times published a cringe-worthy obit about Yvonne Brill, a rocket scientist who "made a mean beef stroganoff" and was declared "The world's best mom" in the leading paragraph.

Yvonne
Image: STFU Parents

Or what about this headline about Rona Fairhead before she took over as the chair of the BBC:

BBC
Image: STFU Parents

The truth is, telling someone to have a baby is no different (other than the fact that it's way more of a commitment) than telling someone to go paleo or join a Crossfit or watch all seven seasons of Shameless. It's actually kind of funny, because wanting to have a baby is mostly a biological impulse, and if a person plans to have children (assuming she's able to do so), she already knows. She doesn't need anyone to tell her why or when or how many. She can make up her own damn mind in her own due time. If only more mothers acknowledged and respected that about their childless friends. In conclusion, J., your friend needs to focus on her own happiness and let you focus on yours.

Do YOU have a question about parents on social media? Send whatever is on your mind to stfuparentsblog AT gmail.com!

Lifetime's Beaches remake is nice and nothing more

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Remakes are a dime a dozen these days and viewers are absolutely sick of them — and for good reason. Some things are just better left in the past. But while remakes have received a bad rap these last few years, Beaches is more than just another poor attempt to recapture the charm of a classic film. The Lifetime remake actually had a lot going for it. Nobody can truly replace Bette Midler in the role of C.C. Bloom, but Idina Menzel tried her darndest — and she almost succeeded.

More: A Beaches remake is coming and I am prepared to cry

Not familiar with the Beaches craze? Here's the CliffsNotes version: C.C. Bloom and Hilary Whitney meet by chance as young girls. They are separated soon after meeting, but they become pen pals and best friends, sharing all of the dirty details of their lives with one another. Their friendship experiences many ups and downs, but no matter how far apart they are physically and even emotionally, they always manage to find one another again. Ultimately, their beautiful friendship transcends generations, with Hilary's daughter and C.C. finding solace in one another in the aftermath of tragedy.

Beaches
Image: Lifetime

The Lifetime remake stayed true to the original in some ways, but also frequently departed from the blueprint. For example, the gals' first meeting definitely did not involve C.C. taking a drag of a cigarette.

More: Bette Midler's "Wind Beneath My Wings" is helping me through my grief

The differences were necessary, in part, because as amazing as she is, Menzel just wouldn't be believable as a direct imitation of Midler. She had to adapt the part a bit to fit her personality. Unfortunately, those small changes took something special from the story. We lost those seemingly inconsequential moments that made the original version more than just another sappy film. While the original packed an emotional punch, it was hard to think of the remake as anything other than nice.

Beaches video

Beaches video

Nice isn't necessarily bad though, and the remake of Beaches was certainly enjoyable. It just didn't live up to its full potential and that's disappointing, given Menzel and Nia Long's undeniable talent.

More: The most heartbreaking GIFs from the Beaches trailer

The response on Twitter was decidedly mixed, with a few die hard Beaches fans just happy to have the film back, and others trashing the film before they even gave it a chance. Most people were somewhere in between, with several claiming that they came away feeling just a bit disappointed.

Beaches tweet

Beaches tweet

Beaches tweet 2

Beaches tweet 2

Lifetime's remake of Beaches was far from awful, but it could have been so much better. Still, there's no denying that this story of friendship is touching and that Idina Menzel's voice is amazing. The remake is still worth watching — you just can't go in expecting Bette Midler.

What did you think of Lifetime's Beaches remake? Did Idina Menzel and Nia Long deliver? Comment and share your opinion below.

Before you go, check out our slideshow below.

16 Parenting lessons we learned from Lifetime movies
Image: Lifetime

Why we march – women share their biggest health concerns

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While people were drawn to the Women’s March on Washington for many reasons, women’s health was front and center. Recent Republican moves to defund Planned Parenthood and repeal the Affordable Care Act (ACA) have left millions of Americans at risk for losing basic health care, and hundreds of thousands took to the streets across the capital to protest.

Mayor of the District of Columbia Muriel Bowser addressed the topic early on, and had one message for the incoming administration regarding restricting health care and women’s reproductive rights: “Leave us alone.”

More: Here's the next sneaky tactic to reduce access to reproductive health care

Next up, filmmaker Michael Moore reminded the crowd that “Roe v. Wade didn’t happen in a vacuum,” and that it started before the 1973 landmark Supreme Court case with movements in New York and California. He encouraged everyone on the East Coast to get to work to initiate the next progressive steps.

Actor Ashley Judd read a poem from 19-year-old Tennessee poet Nina Donovan entitled “I am a Nasty Woman," which highlighted health injustices like the fact that menstrual products are taxed, while Viagra and Rogaine are not.

“Reproductive rights are human rights,” Planned Parenthood President Cecile Richards told the crowd, assuring those gathered that “our doors will stay open.”

More: No, Republicans: Defunding Planned Parenthood will definitely not save money

Marchers flocked to D.C. to express discontent over shifts in health care coverage initiated since the November election.

“I’m concerned about the countless children and families that are currently reliant on Obamacare to provide them with the critical services that they would otherwise not be able to afford,” said Michelle Boyd, MPH, LMSW a public health professional who traveled from New York City for the march. “I’m worried that there will a void and nothing to support them in the absence of this health care act.”

Leslie Wilens Curley of Arlington, VA has volunteered with Enroll Virginia for the past four years, helping people learn about and enroll in insurance plans through the ACA. Now she’s concerned about what will happen next.

More: It's a better time to be a woman than a man, according to Republican men

“I’ve seen low-income families gain quality, affordable health insurance coverage so that their medical care can be addressed,” she said. “The repeal of the ACA without a replacement plan will be catastrophic for families that depend on low-cost medical care so that they can continue to go to work.”

The threat of a return to the days where people could be excluded from health insurance because of unavoidable preexisting conditions was also a serious concern for attendees.

“In regards to health care, I marched to save the ACA for people with preexisting conditions,” said Jessica Culter, attorney at Washington Bike Law who traveled from Seattle to attend. “I’m personally terrified for two friends of mine who have the preexisting condition of cancer who have health care through the ACA and will not have access to health care if it’s repealed.”

With signs proclaiming “This Pussy Grabs Back,” “Keep Your Laws Out of My Silky Drawers” and “Back Off My Uterus,” reproductive justice was also high on the agenda.

“I marched today because I’m concerned about access to services for teens, and for them to be able to walk into Planned Parenthood and get what they need without judgement,” said Jane Ball, MSW of Richmond, VA. “It’s a safe space for anyone who needs their health care needs met.”

Geri Halliwell keeps up her tradition of interesting baby names

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Geri Halliwell is an out-of-the-box thinker when it comes to baby names and her newborn definitely won't feel dull compared to big sister Bluebelll Madonna. Halliwell's new baby boy (her first with husband Christian Horner) is called Montague George Hector Horner.

More: Pink's daughter is mighty jealous of her new baby brother

After announcing the happy news on Twitter, Halliwell revealed her son's name on Instagram (together with obligatory black-and-white-tiny-baby-foot pic.) 

Geri Halliwell baby boy
Image: Geri Horner/Instagram

Is Halliwell a Shakespeare fan? Montague is the family name of the bard's Romeo, the most famous lovestruck teenager in literary history. The little one won't have to answer to that, though — Halliwell has already decided he'll be called Monty.

More: Mourning husband writes a moving letter for women with PPD

It doesn't take much to figure out Monty's middle name is a tribute to Halliwell's good pal, the late George Michael, but in case anyone hasn't made the connection yet, a "family source" spelled it out, telling the Mirror, "Geri wanted George to be a part of Monty’s life, so she felt it only fitting that her newborn have a middle name after the star."

One person who's extremely happy to hear of Monty's arrival is Halliwell's fellow Spice Girl, Emma Bunton — who was also born on Jan. 21 and wasted no time declaring herself and the newborn "birthday twins" on Twitter. Um, move over Bunton — there's a new Baby Spice in town.

More: Yes, a few Girl Scouts marched at the inauguration — and that's OK

Women's Marches were the post-election turning point we needed

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Things have been pretty rough for a lot of us since November 9th.

Not only was a Republican man elected president of the United States by the electoral college after losing the popular vote for the second time in 16 years, but we’ve had to contend with resident racists, misogynists, xenophobes and homophobes coming out of the woodwork, now that they feel as though they have a legitimate voice again.

More: Why we march – women share their biggest health concerns

We’ve been depressed, binge eating and unable to watch the news because for so many of us, seeing that giant, bloated orange face is triggering.

But that started to change yesterday. The Women’s March – not just in D.C. but on all seven continents – was a turning point, finally giving us some hope. The new president’s election left so many of us scared and feeling isolated, as if no one would look out for our interests (you know, like health care and other basic human rights) after President Obama left office.

More: Women's March on Washington draws unprecedented crowd

Yesterday, it was clear: we are looking out for each other. We are watching. Even though we face a president and cabinet with a clear agenda that deliberately excludes a large part of America, we know that are not alone and we will not be silent.

There were no arrests at any of the marches worldwide. None. I’m not saying that we’d live in a perfect world if women were in charge, but let the record reflect that we can get shit done on a massive scale both safely and efficiently.

At one point during the speeches, I heard someone behind me ask someone else if they needed to get through. I turned around and saw an older woman weave her way through the crowd, as people backed away and let her pass as soon as they saw her.

“You can tell this is a women’s march,” she yelled to us over her shoulder. “I didn’t even have to ask to come through – you all made room for me on your own!”

And it was like that all day. Marchers formed paths within the crowd by linking arms on either side of a woman in a wheelchair so she could roll through. Someone found a pair of pink prescription eyeglasses, held them up, and everyone in the vicinity tried to locate their owner. Children were hoisted up on shoulders and literally given megaphones in some cases to ensure their voices were heard.

More: No, Republicans: Defunding Planned Parenthood definitely will not save money

The next few months (and, let’s face it, probably years) will not be easy. Yesterday was just the beginning – we will likely face our next round of challenges without the benefit of half a million supporters physically surrounding us on the streets. But now we know they’re there – in all 50 states and across the world.

For the first time since November 9th, it feels like we’ll be okay.

When picking your skin makes your anxiety visible to everyone

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Stress in the workplace or home can contribute to high levels of anxiety and create habits, sometimes physical, that are difficult to undo.

In the United States, 18.1 percent of adults suffer from an anxiety disorder according to the National Institute of Mental Health. Furthermore, many patients are misdiagnosed or undetected which brings the number somewhere closer to to 30 percent.

I never found myself to be an anxious person. I am typically calm when things go awry. I have been called levelheaded. My childhood traumas do not keep me up at night.

More: Woman suffers from obsessive skin touching

I never would have attributed my physical compulsions to my inner anxieties — matters and worries that I did not even know were lingering on my mind. Only recently did I notice the relationship between myself, my thoughts and my skin.

As it turns out, I have suffered from dermatophagia, a condition in which an individual will pick or bite the skin around their fingers, for the majority of my life. My anxiety and my inner uneasiness was not apparent to anyone, not even myself, but was physically exposed when I picked my skin.

More: 9 skin symptoms that show you're stressed

Known as “wolf biters,” the act of biting or chewing the cuticle creates a calming effect, and sometimes, an individual may not even be aware of what they are compulsively doing. Dermatophagia has been linked to obsessive-compulsive disorder because of the constant desire to repeatedly and ritualistically pick and prod.

Stopping is not an option for those with this condition. Once you start, it’s a downward spiral, and with 3.3 million people in the United States suffering from OCD, physical patterns such as this are more common than we may think.

Therapy for dermatophagia includes wearing artificial nails, talking to a therapist or treatment by prescription of antidepressants. As I age, my condition fluctuates. Some days are worse than others. I have never found a reason to seek treatment; however, I do practice small steps such as moisturizing and painting my nails, anything to refrain from puncturing my skin any further.

More: How stress is damaging your skin

For myself, I am not consciously focused on a stressful situation, but am instead sitting quietly at my desk, riding the train or writing this article fiddling with the skin around my nails. And while I want to refrain from the obsession, which is essentially what this has become, I am unable to stop the irreplaceable damage (i.e. scarring, discoloration, pain). The throbbing pain is constant, but hey, it always has been. The germs are unavoidable and infections are always a possibility.

Unattractive to most, unsanitary to all, dermatophagia is an honest depiction of someone’s insides — their concerns, their questions and their distress is publicly but silently displayed through the cracks and grooves on their skin.

By S. Nicole Lane

Originally published on HelloFlo.


Here are the baby names that are trending in Los Angeles

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Babies in Los Angeles aren’t named according to the trends you see elsewhere in the country. LA is a place where you’ll meet five little Jaggers before you’ll encounter a single James (and if you do meet a James, she’ll probably be female). There’s nary an Aiden or Ava to be found, but you’re bound to know an Auden or Anais. Herein, we’ve listed some of the LA-est of LA names.

More: Unique baby names for boys and girls we wish we'd thought of first

Los Angelenos seem to have a real fondness for space-inspired names. Jupiter, for instance. Jupiter’s mom told us: “My husband sold me on the name for its meaning, ‘bringer of joy.' Most people like it, especially in LA. But sometimes there’s an awkward silence after I say the name.” 

We wonder if there’s an awkward silence after one mom we know introduces her twins iO (pronounced eye-oh) and Ellara. So what’s the story on iO and Ellara? They’re the moons of Jupiter. “Usually people ask us to repeat iO's name,” the mom told us, “and ask how it's spelled.”

What’s the quintessential LA name right now? Phoenix. “There are two other Phoenixes at her pediatrician,” one Phoenix’s mom notes of the name’s popularity. “People seem to like it.” She added that her baby’s middle name is Campbell “in case she wants to use that on her résumé.” 

Another popular choice is Atlas. “We get a ton of compliments,” says mom Katie, “but once an older lady said, ‘oh that’s… different’.” Get used to it, lady! Someday the city’s going to be crawling with Atlases.

And then there are the musical names. You’ll find lots of little Jaggers, Hendrixes and Bowies throughout LA. Tyler Starrine says her son Jones was actually inspired by Bowie (his last name was actually Jones): “We thought he'd be the only one,” she said. They were wrong.

More: This printable guide is about to solve all your baby-naming squabbles

Some parents opt for mainstream names but choose middle names that are distinctly LA. Realtor Sara Skelton sons, for instance, are named Tommy and Henry: Tommy Danger and Henry Wild. How much do we think they’re eventually going to go by their middle names? So much.

Nature names abound in Los Angeles: “I named my son Hudson but then I changed it to Sparrow,” says Tonya Meeks. “He feels like a Sparrow.” 

Natalie Rodriguez Coscia chose the popular River for her son. “Many ask if it’s after River Phoenix,” she says, “but truly, we just liked the name! My husband didn't want him to be one of five Liams or other popular names in a classroom.” (Oh, Natalie — River is basically the LA Liam.) 

Amber Afos’ children hit multiple LA trends: nature, spiritual, old-fashioned and movie-inspired names. Her daughter is Evening Primrose Kismet. “Evening Primrose because they grow wild in our area and Kismet because her twin died early in pregnancy.” And her son Thaddeus Bane? “Thaddeus because I was wanting an old Greek name that's not used often and Bane was from Batman.” 

The name that stood out the most for us, among all the Tigers, Sparrows and Dangers, was Zinzi Edmundson's choice for her son: James Arthur. Hopefully his liberal, accepting classmates won’t make fun of him someday for his out-there moniker.

More: Baby girl names inspired by female villains and vixens

4 companies that will personalize your bag and give back to charity

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Whether you need the perfect hostess present or something cool to let your husband know just how much you love him, you can never go wrong with a personalized bag. We’ve put together a list of must-haves that your loved ones are sure to cherish. The best part is you can make these gifts matter, because each purchase gives back to a cause near and dear to you.

1. Kate Spade

Image: Kate Spade

Kate Spade offers a fabulous personalization shop, where you can customize the perfect bag, for anyone in your life who loves to make a super chic splash. Once you select the style of purse, choose from a selection of tassels, straps, stickers and gold lettering. It’s so much fun, you might end up making one for yourself at the same time. A portion of what you spend will be given back to a nonprofit or charity of your choice if you go through Goodshop where you will also find savings and Kate Spade promo codes.

More: 6 companies that follow a charitable "buy one, give one" model

2. Snapfish

Image: Snapfish

Fill the Everyday Canvas bag with every picture your heart desires at Snapfish. Whether you want to make someone laugh or make something a little more sentimental, the options are endless. These versatile carry-alls are also extremely affordable. Make your list, stock up now and 7.5% of every purchase, gets donated back. Also look out for deals and Snapfish coupons on Goodshop so you save some money too!

More: 3 fashion and beauty subscriptions that let you try before you buy

3. Mark and Graham

Image: Mark and Graham

Mark and Graham’s Canvas Tote feature precious silhouettes along with embroidered monograms. Lined with a fun pattern, this bag also has a zippered pocket on the side. With every bag sold, Mark and Graham will donate 20% of the money spent to St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital.

More: Buy ethically made clothing without busting your bank account

4. L.L. Bean

Image: L.L. Bean

L.L. Bean may be one of the first brands who really made the personalized carry-all a must-have. Timeless and durable, these Custom Boat and Tote Bags are great for just about anyone. You can also go the design-your-own route here, with different options for handles, pockets, size and color combinations. Once you have everything picked out, L.L. Bean takes your specifications and builds your masterpiece back at company headquarters, based in Freeport, Maine. A portion of what you spend will be donated to your favorite nonprofit.

A gift that not only gives back but also has a very personal touch is a win-win for all!

13 lessons I learned from training for a half marathon

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Last December, I decided that I was going to run a half marathon. I had never run more than 4 miles and the idea of running 13 miles was intimidating to say the least. I signed up for a half marathon in May and I began my training. It was the hardest thing I ever did physically. But I did it! In fact, I completed the race in 2 hours and 15 minutes which is excellent for a first time runner. I've never been so proud of myself for accomplishing something like this. I ran 13 miles! Holy crap!

When I thought about all the things I had to do to be successful, I realized I learned way more than just learning how to run a half marathon. I learned critical life skills that can be applied to all areas of my life to help be reach my goals for this year.

Here are the 13 life lessons I learned while training for a half marathon...

1. Slow down

When I started getting stronger in my training, I found myself pushing myself to go faster to finish my long runs sooner. This only lead to injury and burn out. In life, I've learned to stop racing to get from point A to point B and to stop being so focused on finding the fastest path or stressing about how long the journey is taking me. When I finally slowed down, I learned that the journey can be far more enjoyable than the destination.

2. Power through

There were days when I didn't want to run. The idea literally pained me. This is a defining moment. When you hear those voices and simply say "Thanks, but I'm going to do this anyway." When you power through your mind convincing you otherwise is when you will see self transformation.

More: Quitting my workout was the healthiest decision I ever made

3. Expect pain

If you think you're going to be able to train for any sport and not incur injury then you're fooling yourself. Running doesn't always feel good. There will be pain. Just like assuming you will go through life without hiccups and failure is false. The sooner you accept that a low is part of life, the easier it is to power through, because after a low there is always a high.

4. Be ruthlessly consistent

The greatest success I've had in any part of my life is when I've stuck to consistent behavior. This may be the one bullet in this list that is the hardest to stick to for me. I have to keep reminding myself of my success to keep going with consistent habits. When I trained for my half, I ran every Monday, Wednesday and Saturday. Without fail. I never missed a day. When I set the same sort of rules for my business or eating habits, I see success. Positive habits are powerful.

More: Exercise helps ease my anxiety by giving me control over my body

5. Set small goals

It feels good to succeed. I set myself very small, realistic goals that I could celebrate when I achieved them. Just adding a half mile to my route was worth a celebration. When setting goals for myself personally, it find that I'm much more likely to reach them when I have small goals to meet along the way. I need to feel success sooner.

6. Upgrade your environments

This is one that was huge for me. I realized I couldn't run in my old running shoes and I was ill equipped for the colder weather to run outdoors. I invested in excellent running shoes and high performing running gear. I also downloaded personal development webinars and audios for my long runs. It's difficult to be successful if your environment isn't set up for success.

7. Don’t stop

A body in motion stays in motion. Don't stop. Slow down. Change your pace. But do not stop. It takes ten times more energy to start back up after quitting. You'll make mistakes. You'll break your habits. But don't stop. Course correct and keep working at it. Success only comes to those that don't quit.

More: I'm not "lucky to be thin" — I'm chronically ill

8. Celebrate ALL achievements

I think this is one thing that so many of us don't do for ourselves. We meet a small goal or milestone and instead of celebrating we criticize ourselves. I caught myself saying... great job on running 5 miles, but you need to be able to run 13. What I really needed was to celebrate my victories. Small or big. They all deserve to be celebrated. Otherwise, what's your motivation to keep achieving goals?

9. Focus on accomplishments, not failures

Our brains our so good at focusing on the negative. When I was able to run 7 miles, I caught myself focusing on how sore I was, how tired I was, that I wasn't having fun. None of this thinking served me well. In life, pay attention to how many times you focus on the negative. This includes scolding yourself, gossiping, complaining, being disappointed. Ask yourself, what is good right now?

10. Understand disappointment

It's OK to be disappointed but I had to learn why I felt this way. Disappointment comes from not meeting an expectation. I expected to run 10 miles and I didn't. I expected to run a 7 minute mile and I couldn't. Try to look at the result differently. It is what it is. There's no point in being disappointed when you have no control over a different outcome. It simply is what it is. And that is perfect.

11. Good days and bad days

Some runs felt fantastic! I was on a high. Other runs, I barely made it. Some days will be amazing and other days... meh. I think the real lesson for me was to do what I said I was going to do despite the lows. Power through.

12. Take care of yourself

When I was running, I neglected to take the time to take care of my body. Stretching, massage and rest. This caused a serious hamstring injury that took a couple months to ease. I learned to take care of myself first. Because if I don't take care of myself, how in the world can I take care of the things and people that need you?

More: Running marathons helped me get over the stigma of being a fat kid

13. Have FUN

If I'm not having fun, then I'm unlikely to do it. Make every step as enjoyable and fun as possible. I played music and took scenic routes. If cleaning out the garage is a goal, make it fun. Pump music. Get friends to help. The task isn't always going to be your favorite but you can still make the best of it.

Originally posted on BlogHer. http://www.blogher.com/13-life-lessons-i-learned-training-half-marathon

Jen Thoden is an online color stylist, entrepreneur, runner & mother-of-the-year (not) dedicated to helping women (re)discover their unique self and inspire them to take back their their power in fun and creative ways. She is the founder of Your Color Style™, a proprietary online color system that makes it easy for women to discover their best colors and to learn how to style themselves in ways that make them feel amazing.

"Wear what you love. Love what you wear."

YourColorStyle.com

23 hysterical thoughts I had while watching the Beaches remake

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Lifetime's revival of Beaches starring Idina Menzel and Nia Long aired last night and if I'm being honest, I cried 23 times. Here's the inner dialogue I had with myself while bawling my way through the TV movie:

Opening credits: I consider this a warm-up cry. Like stretching before a marathon. Also, they are showing images of beaches.

More: Lifetime's Beaches remake is nice and nothing more

Minute 4: Oh no. I just realized Bette Midler is not going to be in this. Certainly a weep-worthy moment. Maybe we’ll get a cameo? Sure, Idina Menzel and Nia Long are great, but the 1988 Beaches could have just been called, Bette Midler Does Awesome Stuff And Then Her Friend Dies.

Image: Giphy

Minute 6: I hate to say it, but it already feels like the story is being rushed, and the script doesn’t have the charm or subtly of the original Beaches. Show, don’t tell, Lifetime Beaches reboot! As a writer, you’re making me tear up.

Minute 8: Awww, the two girls are communicating through AOL Messenger as they grow up. I am filled with nostalgia. I would have cried even more if they had added modem noises.

Idina Menzel is singing for the first time: What a magical, tear-inducing voice. I weep into my wine for you, Idina. And she’s not even signing “Wind Beneath My Wings” or “Let It Go.” 

Minute 15: They kept the lovely original scene where the two women sing Christmas carols in their shitty apartment, through the little window that separates their twin beds. It’s nothing less than magical all over again.

First commercial: I just remembered that there’s going to be commercials. Lots of Lifetime Movie commercials about mops and tampons and other, upcoming Lifetime movies. Definitely tearing up.

During an ad for milk and being a mom: Okay, I usually wouldn’t cry during this, but I am all warmed up. It’s not even a commercial for a certain brand of milk, just milk in general. Pull it together!

First friend fight: And it’s over a man! They really need to hurry up and resolve this quickly. You only have like 90 minutes together, and that includes milk commercials! Don’t waste your time quarreling. Remember the beach? The photo booth?

Image: Ramweb

Minute 31: They changed the name of Hillary’s love interest from Michael to Bryan, with a y, for so reason. So sad! Waterworks.

Funeral scene numeral uno: Hillary’s dad has kicked the bucket, but not before making her promise to give up her dream of being an ACLU lawyer and following in his corporate attorney footsteps. I guess I’m a little sad.

More: The most heartbreaking GIFs from the Beaches trailer

Minute 39: They’re not going to do the Broadway musical brazier song in the reboot! A true tragedy.

Friend fight two: This is the big one. CC is in a marriage of convenience with CC’s old love! Hillary is following someone else’s dream instead of hers! CC wasn’t there for Hillary during her big life milestones, and got her salt and pepper shakers for her wedding gift! Oh, good lord, these are some low blows. CC just called Hillary a bitch! My emotions can’t handle it.

When CC and John Pierce break up: There’s nothing wrong with the relationship except that they have grown apart irreconcilably forever. I really need a Bette Midler cameo pick-me-up right now. Maybe she’ll jump out of a closet?

When Hillary and Bryan break up: Hillary leaves her beach house early to return home to her husband, but Bryan-not-Michael is caught at home making breakfast for another woman. Being caught breakfast-making is much worse than being caught love-making some reason. I’m crying both because it’s super sad and also because they cut the amazing, “That’s my robe,” line that appears in the original.

When Idina Menzel sings the first sad song of the movie: And it has been juxtaposed with a montage of Hard Times for both women. There’s something in my eye. And also in my other eye. They are tears. Lots and lots of tears.

Arthritis commercial: No excuses for this. I don’t even know anyone who has it.

Minute 68: Hillary’s baby is born and then CC starts singing is singing “I’ll Stand By You.” Then Hillary collapses on a staircase because she has a terminal illness. I can’t exactly tell, but I think the “you” that CC is singing about is Hillary. I need a new box of tissues.

Minute 81: Hillary just got the bad news that she has a rare heart diease. It’s fatal, and the chances of finding a donor are low. Wait, did that doctor just say that Type O blood is rare? Does she not know that Type O is the Universal Donor type, compatible with any blood type? Did no one on the set of the movie catch this goof? Not even the camera guy? I am weeping for the ignorance of the world.

Friend Fight four: CC confront Hillary about giving up on life before her life is even over (which will be pretty shortly). This one is better than the original. Nia Long brings it to this scene. I cry because you cry, Nia.

More: 16 parenting lessons we learned from watching Lifetime movies

Okay, 15-minute crying jag: Hillary and CC return to the beach house with Hillary’s little girl Tori. There’s talk about motherhood (sob) and life (sob) and friendship (sob). There’s a scene where they look through old photos. You know I am going to cry all through an old photos scene.

Minute 110: Finally, CC sings “Wind Beneath My Wings” and Hillary dies. Flashbacks to youth and good times. I don’t want to say I was looking forward to this, but I kind of was. It’s like the scary parts of horror movies. You shut your eyes and scream, but this was your idea in the first place, and you love it.

Final scene: The movie seems to have gone so fast, maybe because it was 35 minutes shorter than the original. As CC takes one final look at the photo booth photos, and becomes Tori’s new mom, I can’t help but think about all of special moments in the original that lost their magic in the remake. Or about how I was going to make popcorn to go with my wine, but then forgot. Or about how there was no Midler cameo.

Closing credits: I just realized I’m going to have to stay up two more hours watching the original Beaches. I’m tearing up just thinking about the opening credits.

Image: Ramweb

Weekly horoscopes: Jan. 23 – Jan. 29

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Mars, the planet of power and drive, enters Aries on Jan. 27. This will make you headstrong, reckless and ready to tackle the steep challenges in life. Mars is the planet of "that's what I want and I want it NOW". It pumps up your drive, pours gasoline on your burning desires and makes you talk really loudly — like when you're at a rock concert. Mars will always make you aim for something higher. There's nothing wrong with naked ambition as long as you don't try to dress it up as something else. Do that, and you will create more resistance and pushback than you would if you were just honest about what you wanted in the first place. Mars will be in Aries until March 9.

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taurus

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cancer

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virgo

libra

scorpio

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capricorn

aquarius

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ARIES (March 19 - April 18)
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You were born under Mars, the red planet. Named after the Roman god of war, Mars is the planet of sex, passion and drive in astrology. He rules over all battles — whether it's a battle of the wills, the words or the sexes. This can be fun as long as you practice good sportsmanship, but things could get out of hand over the next few weeks as Mars will be raising the stakes — as well as the hackles — on Jan. 31, Feb. 10 and Feb. 26. Make a point to shake hands after every contest of personalities to show that there are no hard feelings.

More: What show you should watch based on your astrological sign

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TAURUS (April 19 - May 19)
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How good are you at trust? Well, you're about to find out on Jan. 27 when a Venus/Saturn square introduces a detour or delay. It looks like a project or venture will be put on the back burner. Again. Most people would throw up their hands and storm off, but what would be the point? Chances are, the disappointment you feel is shared by the other party as well. Stay positive and upbeat. A delay doesn't mean things are dead in the water. Keep the lines of communication open and you'll be ready to go when your project gets the green light in late Feb./March.

More: What show you should watch based on your astrological sign

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GEMINI (May 20 - June 19)
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You're attracting a lot of notice these days thanks to Venus passing over your solar midheaven. Named after the Roman goddess of love and beauty, it's Venus' job to bring admirers, peeps and potential mates into your social orbit. It's a wonderful planetary transit to have if you're looking for a jump in the polls or an uptick in approval ratings. Unfortunately, when Venus squares Saturn (like she will on Jan. 27), she can bring detractors, critics and haters. Hopefully, you've developed a thick skin over the years because the barbs can get quite vicious. If not, you'll want to ASAP. Saturn's influence abates on Feb. 3.

More: What show you should watch based on your astrological sign

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CANCER (June 20 - July 21)
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Expect changes over the next six weeks. These will be more day-to-day in scale. The first thing you'll notice is an increase in your own vital spirits. This is because of all of the fiery energy that will be coursing through your horoscope. Fire energy rules our passions, enthusiasms and beliefs. It also rules over our individuality and feelings of authenticity. Not only will you get your mojo back, but you'll have the persistence to get things done. If you've been dealing with health matters that have been hard to diagnose, you'll soon get to the root of what ails and remedy it.

More: What show you should watch based on your astrological sign

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LEO (July 22 - Aug. 21)
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Mars moves into the pioneering sign of Aries on Jan. 27. This gives you the audacity and chutzpah to connect to your heart and to pursue the things you want to pursue. You could book a trip to Machu Picchu, fall in love with someone from another country or pour your creative energy into a project that you've always dreamed of doing. Whether this turns into something lasting or not doesn't really matter. What matters is that you're doing it. Experience is your wisest teacher, and it's living that experience that broadens your horizons, opens your world and ultimately fulfills you as a person.

More: What show you should watch based on your astrological sign

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VIRGO (Aug. 22 - Sept. 21)
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Why can't you say something positive? That's the question that you'll be asked by loved ones and friends when Venus forms a square to Saturn on Jan. 27. It's hard being born under the most critical sign of the zodiac. It's your job to point out the faults and foibles in people's thinking so they don't set themselves up for disappointment, but there's got to be more to criticism than poking holes in people's cherished ideas and visions. You must be prepared to help them make something out of what they have. This is when your criticism becomes constructive instead of prohibitive.

More: What show you should watch based on your astrological sign

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LIBRA (Sept. 22 - Oct. 21)
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Mars is the planet of men in astrology, so you can expect every man in your life to give you a hard time while it's in your opposite sign of Aries (Jan. 27 to March 9). Your boss will get bossier, your husband will act high-handedly and even your best gay friend will be surprisingly chauvinistic. There's no reasoning with this kind of energy, so let it run its course because afterward, when things calm down, they will all owe you a huge apology. That's when you can hit them up for a favor or special request. Guilt has its plus sides, you know.

More: What show you should watch based on your astrological sign

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SCORPIO (Oct. 22 - Nov. 20)
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Scorpio is fixed in nature, which means you will stay the course no matter what. It's a sterling quality, but sometimes your staunch view of matters can lead you to overlook — and in some instances disregard — the possibility that there might be an easier way. Right now, the sun is in Aquarius, and Aquarius is a zodiac sign that's famous for introducing options and alternatives. On Jan. 27 and 28, you will see windows open and fresh opportunities begin to circulate. These could lead you to consider paths you wouldn't have before. Don't be so quick to stick to the same old same old.

More: What show you should watch based on your astrological sign

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SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 21 -Dec. 20)
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You hate to play the heavy, but you'll have no choice when Venus falls afoul of Saturn on Jan. 27. It's your nature to give people what they want. It comes from being born under Jupiter, the most benevolent and generous planet of astrology However, it's clear that a loved one is being way too demanding of your time, energy and resources and if you don't draw the line soon, this person will drain you dry. Do what needs to be done. And don't be surprised if instead of resenting you, this person thanks you for putting the ball back in his or her court.

More: What show you should watch based on your astrological sign

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CAPRICORN (Dec. 21 - Jan. 19)
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It takes a lot for you to step up to the plate, but when you decide that the moment is right, there is no stopping you. This is what you'll experience on Jan. 29 when Mercury conjoins Pluto in Capricorn. Suddenly, you won't be afraid. Weeks of anxiety, worry and insecurity will fall away, and you'll see exactly what you have to do to get to where you want to go. Like a heat-seeking missile, you will pursue your objective relentlessly. And once you do — which should be around Feb. 6 — you will wonder why you rode the brake for so long.

More: What show you should watch based on your astrological sign

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AQUARIUS (Jan. 20 - Feb. 17)
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You were born under the most selfless sign of the zodiac. You are so identified with doing what's right by the group that you will put your own needs and concerns on hold. This will change on Jan. 27 when something that you've earned is inexplicably denied to you. There's a good chance this may be a bureaucratic error or it could be that you are so selfless in your commitment to upholding the good of the many over the needs of the few that certain higher-ups are taking you for granted. In any case, it's time to act in your own best interests.

More: What show you should watch based on your astrological sign

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PISCES (Feb. 18 - March 18)
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How many times have you said, "That's all right," when you knew it wasn't? As a Pisces, you're used to being called sympathetic, sensitive and forgiving. And being an adaptable and accommodating personality, you will be. But there comes a time (like when Venus squares Saturn on Jan. 27) when you need to speak up. You don't have to get angry or hysterical. You just need to call a bully on his meanness, an insensitive co-worker on his brusqueness or a critic on his tone. You're afraid that you won't be heard, but how will you ever know if you don't speak up?

Gavin Rossdale says he never wanted a divorce from Gwen Stefani

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When Gavin Rossdale and Gwen Stefani ended their nearly 13-year marriage back in 2015, rumor had it that Rossdale's alleged three-year affair with the family's nanny led to the split. Now, Rossdale says he never wanted a divorce.

Cue Carrie Underwood singing, "Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats..." Rossdale opened up to Fabulous magazine about his public split from Stefani and what going through their divorce was really like for him.

More: Gwen Stefani & Gavin Rossdale show how divorce settlements should really go

"[Divorce] was completely opposite to what I wanted. Really not...but here we are," Rossdale said. "Apart from death, I think divorce is one of the hardest, most painful things to go through."

This is an interesting statement from Rossdale, considering the highly publicized cheating rumors around the time of his divorce from Stefani. However, Rossdale admitted to the magazine that there are many things he wishes he would have done differently in their relationship.

"I know we all wish that, but we can't, so I have to deal with reality," he said. "You can't not have regrets and be human at the same time."

More: Gavin Rossdale needs to butt out of Gwen Stefani & Blake Shelton's relationship

Rossdale also opened up about their many years together, saying he still thinks Stefani is "incredible."

"We had 20 years together, and that in itself is pretty incredible. It's a lifetime. I still think she's incredible. It was a lovely 20 years, and we have three amazing children," Rossdale said. "There were a lot of positives, and with time they'll become more and more obvious."

Hmm... not sure what other details of their relationship (or Stefani's new one with Blake Shelton) Rossdale thinks will be revealed in time, but we guess we'll just have to wait and see.

More: Gwen Stefani's ex-nanny gave birth, so we can all move on now, right?

While it sounds like things are not super friendly between Rossdale and Stefani right now, the two do work together to take care of their children.

"The one thing — the only good thing, because everything else is not good — is we care about the children, and it's about them. So we do everything to make this life change as seamless as possible."

Another interesting fact: Rossdale is now following in his wife's footsteps across the pond and judging The Voice UK. He told the magazine, "The tables have turned a bit. You have to be really adaptable and helpful to co-parent."

Before you go, check out our slideshow below.

Gwen Stefani accomplishments slideshow
Image: WENN

Celebs school Donald Trump on his Women's March response

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Despite all of the voices that rallied together yesterday for the Women's March, Donald Trump still managed to wallow in his ignorance.

donald trump response to the womens march 1

donald trump response to the womens march 1

Let's back up a few steps here. First of all, suggesting that protesters didn't vote is downright insulting. Second, suggesting that the feelings of being degraded as a woman were only fueled by celebrities is also dismissing a clear and resounding sentiment expressed by the march yesterday.

More: The most gorgeous posters for the Women’s March on Washington

Celebrities may have helped to rally the forces behind the march, but only because their cries for equality resonated with millions and millions of people.

Also, Trump needs to remember, as Alyssa Milano quickly pointed out, that he himself is a celebrity first and foremost.

alyssa milano donald trump response 1

alyssa milano donald trump response 1

More: The Women’s March on Washington cheat sheet

Milano wasn't the only one to demand a better response from the newly inaugurated president.

dc douglas donald trump response

dc douglas donald trump response

adrianne curry donald trump response

adrianne curry donald trump response

jack black donald trump response 1

jack black donald trump response 1

christina paschyn donald trump response

christina paschyn donald trump response

matt haig donald trump response

matt haig donald trump response

Even the New York Times seemed to subtly chime in.

new york times donald trump response 1

new york times donald trump response 1

More: One way we can resist Trump's agenda? Raise conscious kids

In Trump's defense, kind of, he did also share a tweet saying that, while he may not support the cause behind the march (women's rights?), he does support our constitutional right to peaceful protest.

donald trump response to the womens march 2

donald trump response to the womens march 2

Do you think Donald Trump owes the public a more meaningful response to the Women's March?

Before you go, check out our slideshow below.

Donald Trump could learn a lot from MacGyver — just hear us out
Image: CBS/WENN

The Women and Men Who Marched on Washington, In Their Own Words

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While the aerial photos from yesterday’s Women’s March on Washington show the half a million attendees filling streets and spilling out onto the lawns of the capital, a teeming blanket of pink and black, on the ground, with barely any cell service and sign-wielding marchers sandwiching you in from all sides, it was close to impossible to conceive just how far the crowd really went. What was clear, however, was the diversity of the people on the ground—families with three generations of women who had trekked from across the country, longtime activists rallying beside first-timers, mothers and fathers holding photos of their young daughters, and trans women banding together to demand a voice.

More: What Women (and Men) Wore to the March on Washington

The myriad faces in the pack were matched by innumerable reasons to take a stand, from the hyper-personal to the political (though at times like this, the two seem to be one and the same).

Read on for why 14 marchers decided to join the movement in Washington this weekend:

Why Women Marched: Sally
Image: Aleesha Woodson/STYLECASTER

Sally

Ann Arbor, Michigan

“I have three daughters that deserve to grow up with the same reproductive freedoms that I had. Two of my daughters are gay, and one of them is going out with an African-American Muslim woman, and she’s frightened, and that breaks my heart. This is not the America we should be living in.”

Can you tell me about your jacket and signs?

“These ribbons are the voices of the women who couldn’t attend—friends, coworkers, family members, Facebook friends. I offered to take their voices to Washington, so I’ve taken down what they wanted to say and posted them on my sleeve so they feel represented. There are so many issues that Donald Trump is attacking. I don’t really feel that he’s a legitimate president, and I don’t think he represents myself or the American people. We all spoke and we elected Hillary. And the back sign is about democracy—I really feel that our democracy is under attack, and we have to stand up like this and do something about it now.”

Why Women Marched: ribbons
Image: Aleesha Woodson/STYLECASTER

Why Women Marched: Deanna Dewey, Leah Taylor, Nikola Bergos, Elizabeth Dunbar, and Courtney Nichols
Image: Aleesha Woodson/STYLECASTER

Deanna Dewey, Leah Taylor, Nikola Bergos, Elizabeth Dunbar, and Courtney Nichols

Brooklyn, New York, Connecticut, Washington, DC, and Los Angeles

Courtney: “I bought a ticket the night of the election—I had a call to arms, in a way. I’m very active in the revolution [laughs]. I did a lot when it came to the Dakota Access Pipeline, and then Black Lives Matter and reproductive rights. I’m hoping to get a sense of solidarity out of today. I plan on crying nonstop and feeling the witchy womanhood that is us. I hope these protests continue for the next four years.”

Elizabeth: “I wasn’t going to come to the march originally, but these two were like, ‘We’re coming to town and we want to go!’ And I thought about it, and I wasn’t going to go originally because I didn’t think it would make any difference, wouldn’t change anything, wouldn’t change the outcome. But really I think it’s about more than that—we get to see all the people who believe in the same things that we believe and will fight together to keep the things that we have and get the things that we want. It’s been tough on women and minorities and LGBT communities and everyone that isn’t in the majority, but it has ended up with more support for causes like Planned Parenthood and causes that we all care about, but don’t necessarily put our money where our mouth is, so hopefully we can keep the momentum going.”

Why Women Marched: Ingrid
Image: Aleesha Woodson/STYLECASTER

Ingrid

Kansas City

“I didn’t really decide to come to the parade until today. I am glad that everybody’s here, but also feel like there could be more representation for people other than white women. It’s very, like, Hillary Clinton feminism. I just hoped that people could branch out a little bit. I came here with that in mind and I’ve seen a lot of that, but a lot of the speakers were women of color, or trans women of color, so it’s a lot better than I thought.”

Why Women Marched: Erin Morris and Nicole Bennett
Image: Aleesha Woodson/STYLECASTER

Erin Morris and Nicole Bennett

Brooklyn, New York

Erin: “We are here today to make some noise—but also spread some positivity with our heart sign. For me it’s definitely about reproductive rights, and also fighting against that nonsense that’s up there [gestures at group of counter-protestors with anti-Black Lives Matter and anti-gay signs].”

Nicole: “I’m here to fight for women’s reproductive rights. We decided to come a couple months ago. We came with her whole yoga studio—she’s training to be a yoga teacher—so the studio was like, ‘Let’s go and spread the love and be happy.'”

Why Women Marched: Meliissa and Amanda
Image: Aleesha Woodson/STYLECASTER

Melissa and Amanda

Bridgewater, New Jersey and Brooklyn, New York

Amanda: “I feel like there’s been an attack on every segment of society, and before it was covert and now it’s blatantly obvious, and we need to stand up and fight back. I’m reading this book called “Dark Money,” which I suggest to everyone, about how there’s been a lot of funding of groups, a lot of changing society from what it was, of making “progressive” into a dirty word, and now it’s very clear that they are taking our rights away from us—healthcare, equal pay, rights for minorities. And it’s all out in the open. There’s a sign over there that calls Black Lives Matter protesters “rioters” and “thugs,” which everyone knows is a code word. It’s just unacceptable.

Melissa: “I completely agree with my daughter. I’ve never protested ever, so this is a first for me, but I just thought it was important to come out and really alert folks to what’s going on, and that we can do something about it if we stand together. People really need to wake up, and I think just by the crowds here, it says a lot of people are starting to take notice.”

So what are the next steps?

Amanda: “I’m a lawyer, so I’m organizing. I think getting involved locally is the biggest thing. They can’t run away from us—we’re their citizens.”

Why Woman Marched: Tim Jackson
Image: Aleesha Woodson/STYLECASTER

Tim Jackson

Memphis, Tennessee

“I’m here because I’d like to believe that I fought for something more. I was in an Iraq campaigns in 2006-2007, and if I was willing to go over there when I was younger, I’d like to believe in what I was fighting for, and I can’t get behind the direction the country is going in right now. I came with my fiancée, Ashley—we took the train and drove—and I also wanted to come to break the stigma about vets that we’re very conservative. I don’t want to blanket people, but there’s a stigma, and I want to show that there are those of us that believe in equal rights for everybody, simply put.”

Why Women Marched: Anne and Judy
Image: Aleesha Woodson/STYLECASTER

Anne and Judy

Boston, Massachusetts

Judy: “We’re here to bring attention to the very poor president that we elected and to oppose him.”

Anne: “We’re very outraged. Planned Parenthood was there for me when I was young, and I’m here for Planned Parenthood. We’re here for equal rights: we don’t believe that lesbian, gay, and transgender people are a special interest group or that Black Lives Matter is a special interest group. They’re American citizens, same as everybody.”

Have you been to many marches and rallies like this in the past?

Judy: “Oh yes. We got married on the steps of the IRS with about 5,000 other gay couples—actually, we’ve gotten married three or four times, but that was one of them.”

Anne: “We go back to Civil Rights and we go back to Vietnam. This is fabulous. It’s great that people are marching at this time, right after the inauguration. It just shows right away that there are a lot of people out there that don’t support his policies. We decided to come way before the election, but I just didn’t think this would happen—it was really heartbreaking. I really thought in my lifetime I’d see a woman president, and Hillary was by far the most qualified.”

Why Women Marched: Stewart and Quinn
Image: Aleesha Woodson/STYLECASTER

Stewart and Quinn

Flemington, New Jersey and Lancaster, Pennsylvania

Stewart: “I think a really big thing is that this is trying to be intersectional, trying to include racial justice and economic justice, and just looking though the crowd, color was necessary to be here. I’ve been doing activist work for a few years now, but this is my first time doing it in Washington.”

Quinn: “I guess I’m here because I’m queer? [laughs] And obviously this administration has very little support for many people of America, including myself. I first marched on Washington for the Iraq War, and I’m hoping that this leads to more activism, not just in the next four years, but just a movement of people being more active in their government and how things are run in our country.”

Why Women Marched: Tyler Orr
Image: Aleesha Woodson/STYLECASTER

Tyler Orr

Maryland

“I’m here to protest women’s rights—I decided to come last week with my friends from high school. I’m standing here [in front of anti-LGBT and anti-Black Lives Matter signs] because of these bigots behind me. I wanted to cover all that up. This is my first protest, but definitely not my last.”

Originally posted on StyleCaster.com

Justin Bieber says he doesn't like Selena Gomez's new BF The Weeknd's music

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Selena Gomez and The Weeknd are young Hollywood's hottest new couple. So, we can't help but wonder: What does Gomez's ex Justin Bieber think about their relationship? Lucky for us, someone asked.

More: Selena Gomez has her hands all over Hollywood's favorite starboy

As Bieber was leaving a restaurant on Friday night, a videographer from TMZ asked him, "Can you listen to a Weeknd song?"

"Hell no, I can't listen to a Weeknd song," Bieber said with a smile.

"You can't? Why not?" the videographer asked.

"That shit's wack," Bieber replied, still smiling.

More: Of course Justin Bieber isn't digging Selena Gomez's new romance

Gomez, on the other hand, is definitely a fan of her new man's music. She was photographed listening to his song "Starboy" on her phone while headed to church with friends just last weekend.

Gomez and Bieber dated on and off for years. After the highs and lows of their turbulent relationship, she likely doesn't care what Bieber thinks of her new boyfriend or his music.

It looks like The Weeknd's ex Bella Hadid isn't a fan of the new couple either. The same day the first photos of Gomez and The Weeknd kissing were published online, Hadid unfollowed Gomez on Instagram. Yikes. Gomez currently still follows Hadid. Bella's sister Gigi Hadid and Gomez also still follow each other.

More: Selena Gomez didn't break any girl code by hooking up with The Weeknd

Hey, if Gomez is happy, we're happy for her! She's been through so much over the past few years, as highlighted in her acceptance speech at the 2016 American Music Awards. She deserves to find someone who will build her up, not bring her down. Maybe The Weeknd can be that guy.

Before you go, check out our slideshow below.

justin bieber selena gomez slideshow
Image: Dave Bedrosian/Future Image/WENN; Dennis Van Tine/Future Image/WENN

Keke Palmer fights back against Trey Songz's 'sexual intimidation'

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Keke Palmer is alleging that Trey Songz used her likeness in his new music video "Pick Up the Phone" without obtaining her consent first. In fact, Palmer is so outraged by her inclusion in the video that she took to Instagram to detail what happened, even going so far as to say that she explicitly told Songz she didn't want to be involved.

More: Khloé Kardashian deserves a good man like Trey Songz

"This is preposterous," Palmer captioned her Instagram post. "How am I in this video Trey? After you found me in a closet HIDING because I was so afraid of anymore conflict. Literally my last option was to hide because you all would not listen when I said I did not want to be in the video the FIRST time. Just cause you give someone food and alcohol and throw in a little sexual intimidation doesn’t mean they will buckle."

She also said in the caption, "Come on bruh, I clearly said no and you said okay, yet I was being secretly filmed when you told me 'let me just show you the idea'?? Wow. This is what I'm referring to in my previous post, this is the sexism and misogyny I refer to because if I was a dude, he wouldn't have even tried me like this."

keke palmer trey songz response 1

keke palmer trey songz response 1

Palmer then posted two videos maintaining her statement that her appearance in Songz's video was included without her permission.

keke palmer trey songz response 2

keke palmer trey songz response 2

keke palmer trey songz response 3

keke palmer trey songz response 3

No word yet on whether Palmer is planning legal action against Songz.

More: Keke Palmer will be Broadway's first black Cinderella

The line where Palmer appears coincides with the line in the song that goes, "I palm her pussy like Keke/Like Keke like Keke."

Palmer is shown for a brief moment sitting on the couch on her phone.

trey songz music video

trey songz music video

More: 42 Behind-the-scenes facts about Grease Live!

Though Songz hasn't responded to Palmer's messages directly, he did seem to post a couple of tweets directed at her claims.

trey songz keke palmer response 1

trey songz keke palmer response 1

trey songz keke palmer response 2

trey songz keke palmer response 2

Do you think Keke Palmer should sue Trey Songz for using her in his video without her permission?

Before you go, check out our slideshow below.

Scream Queens sneak peek slideshow
Image: Fox

We can rest assured, Madonna doesn't actually want to bomb the White House

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Though the Women's Marches across the world on Saturday were peaceful, Madonna's statement during her controversial speech was not. Now she's clarifying the remarks she made.

More: 51 powerful images of celebrities supporting the Women's March on Washington

It's clear that Madonna was trying to be cheeky when she said in her speech in Washington, D.C., that she's "thought an awful lot about blowing up the White House."

Facepalm reaction GIF
Image: Giphy

I don't know who to be more disappointed in: Madonna, for saying she thinks about blowing up the White House, or people who freaked out, for actually freaking out about it without having any context.

Obviously, any statements supporting violence of any kind were dangerous in that they would threaten to compromise the integrity of the march itself. But Madonna didn't really mean it like you think she meant it.

More: Women's March on Washington draws unprecedented crowd

Madonna quickly corrected her statements on Instagram: "I am not a violent person, I do not promote violence and it's important people hear and understand my speech in it's entirety rather than one phrase taken wildly out of context."

madonna speech clarification 1

madonna speech clarification 1

It's true that the larger message of her speech supported a revolution filled with love, a mission I think we can all stand behind. She just could have phrased the impulses fueled by her fears following the election with a lot more tact. She also wasn't shy about saying "Fuck you" in her speech every chance she got.

An excerpt published by E! News quotes Madonna as saying, "And to our detractors that insist that this march will never add up to anything: F--k you. F--k you. It is the beginning of much-needed change."

More: What to do if you encounter counter-protesters at the Women’s March on Washington

She added, "Yes, I'm angry. Yes, I am outraged. Yes, I have thought an awful lot about blowing up the White House. But I know that this won't change anything. We cannot fall into despair."

She's right. We cannot allow ourselves to fall into despair, so let's agree that blowing up the White House is a terrible idea for so, so many reasons and move on to action ideas that actually have positive viability.

Before you go, check out our slideshow below.

Women's achievements books slideshow
Image: Blend Images/Getty Images

How to help your dog avoid dry, itchy skin this winter

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It's a familiar feeling. Low humidity, wind and cool temperatures in winter can make our skin feel tight, itchy and dry.

Pets aren't immune to the effects winter weather can have on skin, and unlike their human counterparts, dogs can't just double down on their lotion and moisturizer regimen. Luckily, there are some steps you can take to help your canine friends weather the winter without suffering from the discomfort of dry skin.

More: Grooming tools: Help your dog shed his winter coat

1. Keep a close eye on senior dogs

As dogs age, their skin produces oils at a slower rate, meaning they're more susceptible to dry skin year-round. In winter, when environmental factors come into play, senior dogs are definitely at a higher risk than younger pooches. Keep a close eye on senior dogs, and if they start exhibiting signs of dry skin, like itchiness or flaking, try some of the following steps to help.

2. Limit baths

Shampooing strips the natural oils from a dog's skin and fur and can lead to the skin drying out faster. If you have to bathe your dog during the winter, it's recommended to just use water. And even though it can be tempting to blow-dry your dog since it's cold outside, skip it. The blasts of air can make his skin dry out even faster.

3. If you must shampoo...

... use a shampoo that's specially formulated to help moisturize your dog's skin. These can be found at just about any pet store, and if you're still not sure what kind to go for, a pet store employee or your vet can give you a recommendation. Whatever you do, stay away from shampoos that are meant for people. Human shampoos are formulated for human skin pH and can easily dry out dogs' skin regardless of the time of year.

4. Humidify your dog's living space

Since humidity tends to be lower during winter, using a humidifier to add some moisture to the air can give your dog's skin a break from fighting dryness. Start out by just using the humidifier at night, placing it near where your dog sleeps. If that doesn't work, increase the amount of time the humidifier is on and try to keep it close to where your dog hangs out.

More: My dog's dry skin turned out to be a serious medical condition

5. Brush your dog often

Brushing your dog's fur increases blood flow to the skin, which is always good for keeping it healthy. Clean fur also helps your dog stay warmer in the cold temperatures that come with winter.

6. Get your dog a coat

Some dogs just need a little extra help staying warm during the winter. If your dog isn't a breed that has a thick coat of fur, buying a coat will provide an extra layer of protection from cold air. Not only will your dog stay warmer, but he'll have another layer between his skin and the cold, helping to prevent it from drying out.

7. Use fatty acid supplements

Fatty acids are necessary to help dogs produce the skin oil that keeps their skin and fur moisturized. Older dogs especially need extra fatty acids in their diets. Find a dog food or supplement that has high levels of omega-3 and omega-6 fatty acids since those acids specifically help keep the skin healthy. If you're not sure what kind of food or supplement to give your dog, your vet can help.

8. Give your dog an oatmeal bath

If your dog is already suffering from dry skin, an oatmeal bath can do wonders to reverse the damage. Just like for humans, a warm bath with oatmeal is naturally soothing to a dog's skin. Put 1/3 cup of unflavored instant oatmeal, quick oats or slow-cooking oats into a coffee grinder, blender or food processor. Blend or process them until you have a fine powder, and then mix that into warm bath water. Pour the water over your dog's coat for about 15 minutes.

More: Common skin problems in dogs

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