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Here’s everything you need to know about trichotillomania

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Trichotillomania, an anxiety-related mental health disorder, is characterized as an insatiable and persistent compulsion to pull or pick at hair.

The condition, which is much more common among women than men and is frequently diagnosed in adolescent girls and young adult women, can result in baldness or patches of profound hair loss and is often diagnosed alongside other compulsions or mental health issues.

More: I pull my hair out... and I can't stop

Women, especially young girls, are often stereotyped as hair-twirlers, socially conditioned to play with and touch their hair out of boredom or self-consciousness. This predisposition makes trichotillomania harder to spot.

Of course, frequent hair-pulling and breaking is the most easily diagnosable symptom. Beyond the obvious, though, trichotillomania sufferers often exhibit other compulsions. According to Mayo Clinic, individuals with trichotillomania are likely to pick at or scratch hair follicles on their scalp, pull their eyebrow hair and eyelashes, and obsessively shave or tweeze almost all body hair.

More: Are you addicted to anxiety? Ask yourself these 6 questions

Many people with trichotillomania develop bald spots or patches and suffer from hair loss. Trichotillomaniacs mostly pull hair from its root and, as stated by KidsHealth, usually “feel a sense of relief after pulling,” which decreases an individual’s chances of seeking treatment. As is true of those with many obsessive compulsions, people with trichotillomania frequently feel ashamed or embarrassed of their habits — especially since sufferers of this condition can often go so far as to need wigs or head coverings.

Hair-pulling can be characterized in one of two ways — as automatic (unconscious) or focused (conscious.) Those who pull consciously often develop rituals around the behavior and are aware of what they’re doing. In fact, they might even decide to pull their hair to offset stress or a negative emotion.

Their counterparts who pull unconsciously, however, are likely to pull hair as a sort of fidget — something they do without noticing when they’re sitting idly or feeling apprehensive. It’s generally easier to diagnose and treat focused trichotillomania since individuals who are conscious of their behavior are quicker to accept a diagnosis and can more easily track their own habits.

More: Sarah Jessica Parker gets refreshingly real about coping with anxiety

The impulse-control disorder usually begins to take hold around the onset of puberty and advance as girls get older. Since twirling and playing with hair is considered a feminine habit, many dismiss early warning signs as a bad habit or inability to sit still.

In fact, the disorder creates impulses that are incredibly difficult to resist. Diagnosed individuals in treatment have blogged on community forums about having more difficulty stopping their hair-pulling than they did recovering from eating disorders or quitting smoking.

Though some sufferers find success in creative treatments like scalp sprays and special gloves that help them resist the urge to pick, most find therapy and prescription medication to be the most effective treatment. Therapists often help patients examine why and when they pull their hair, and often help them fight the urge by building a substitute behavior or ritual into their lives. Just as with any compulsion, treatment takes time and effort and requires that the individual in question be ready and willing to get help.

So if you find yourself tugging at your hair the next time you’re catching up on your favorite Netflix series or spot your friend picking at her scalp, consider how common and challenging trichotillomania is. If you or someone you know might be suffering from its symptoms, the sooner you seek help, the sooner you’ll begin to address the compulsion head on.

By Emma Miller

Originally published on HelloFlo.


Christina El Moussa reportedly verbally attacked by Tarek on Flip or Flop set

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Christina and Tarek El Moussa both appeared to be in very good spirits since the announcement of their divorce, leading many to believe that the pair has parted ways on amicable terms. However, a new report suggests that's not the case.

More: Christina & Tarek El Moussa filed for divorce, but their co-parenting is on point

According to In Touch Weekly, things between them are actually becoming increasingly bitter. And while Christina and Tarek once shared a representative, they have now hired separate publicists, with Tarek retaining publicist Howard Bragman and Christina making use of Cassie Zebisch's services.

The publication also reports that an eyewitness revealed that Tarek often disrespected Christina on the set of Flip or Flop, claiming that his behavior was inappropriate.

More: Christina El Moussa is low-key commenting on her divorce on Instagram

"Tarek found humor in insulting his wife in repeated verbal attacks. Some of his bad behavior was even caught on camera [in footage that never aired]," the source said.

And the source claims that several times during filming in 2016, Tarek reportedly left Christina in tears. He allegedly also called her a whore and according to the source, treated her like "garbage."

According to the source, Tarek's outbursts were caused by Christina getting something wrong and forcing them to do a retake. They also claim that Tarek "said he would perform a heinous violent act against Christina on more than one occasion," words which the publication claims they will not publish because there were so offensive.

"He said things like that all the time and then laughed about it," the source claims.

More: Tarek El Moussa reportedly feels betrayed by Christina's new boyfriend

Christina's representative was asked to comment on Tarek's alleged behavior, but they reportedly declined, saying, "We will not be providing any comments." Tarek was reportedly asked a series of questions about his actions but refused to address any specifics.

Before you go, check out our slideshow below.

celebrity breakups 2016 slideshow
Image: FayesVision/WENN.com

Princess Diana finally gets a day in her honor, 20 years after her death

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One word used again and again to describe Princess Diana by those who knew her is "kind," and that's exactly what's inspired a day dedicated to her memory.

National Kindness Day will be observed in the U.K. in March as part of a yearlong celebration of Diana's life's work. The Diana Award, which was established in 1999 and became an independent charity in 2007, will mark the 20th anniversary of her death with a series of events, including the launch of the international Legacy Award, which will be given to 20 exceptional youth members who have successfully demonstrated positive social change.

More: Remembering Princess Diana with 17 of her most inspirational quotes

The main purpose of National Kindness Day is to inspire people to take a leaf out of the late princess's book and do something for others. It's reported that Prince William and Prince Harry will take part in a number of other (still to be confirmed) events, and Diana's brother Earl Spencer will host an exhibition, Walking in Her Shoes, at his family home, as well as a gala fundraising event for the Diana Award.

More: 10 times Kate Middleton paid tribute to Princess Diana

London's Kensington Palace (the home of the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge, Prince George and Princess Charlotte when they're in the city) will create a Diana memorial garden featuring an exhibition of her most iconic outfits.

"Twenty years on we want to give the public the opportunity to interact practically with [Diana's] legacy," said Tessy Ojo, chief executive of the Diana Award. "We want to give the public the opportunity to be that little bit kinder, that little bit more compassionate and to think about serving others."

More: Meghan Markle's birthday gift to Kate Middleton is just dreamy

Before you go, check out our slideshow below.

Kate Middleton Princess Diana slideshow
Image: Anwar Hussein/Getty Images/MarieClaireUK Twitter

Here's the next sneaky tactic to reduce access to reproductive health care

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Yesterday, we learned that the number of abortions in the United States has fallen to the lowest levels since the Roe v. Wade decision in 1973. While that can be attributed to expanding reproductive health care and the availability of contraception under Obamacare, the authors of the report also point to the fact that a reduction in abortions could be a product of decreasing accessibility to clinics in certain parts of the country.

More: U.S. abortion rates at lowest since Roe v. Wade

But Republicans aren’t stopping there. Now, Iowa lawmakers are considering a bill that would allow people to sue their doctors for emotional distress or physical injury following an abortion procedure.

True to form, Sen. Mark Chelgren — the Republican sponsor of the bill — claims that the aim of the legislation is to protect women.

Specifically, the bill would allow patients to file a civil lawsuit against the doctor who performed the abortion if she suffers from any emotional distress because of the doctor’s “negligence or failure to obtain informed consent prior to performance of the abortion.” Women could file the suit at any point in their lives, but the bill would not apply to situations where an abortion is performed in a medical emergency.

More: Last night's Senate Obamacare repeal vote was terrible for women

So here’s the problem: The goal of this bill is clearly not to protect women, but to try to utilize existing medical malpractice provisions to make it even harder for physicians to obtain medical liability insurance and scare them out of performing abortions — which could end up being a source of costly civil lawsuits even in cases in which there was no medical error. Et voilà — fewer doctors opting to perform abortions would then further limit access to abortions for people in Iowa.

Democratic Sen. Nate Boulton expressed several concerns with the bill, among them the fact that not having a statute of limitations in terms of medical liability would be a “major change to the landscape in Iowa.”

Chelgren, on the other hand, is on a mission to make sure that women who deliberately make the informed decision to seek abortions are not taken advantage of by doctors who are doing their job.

More: No, Republicans: Defunding Planned Parenthood definitely will not save money

“It’s a question of whether or not somebody who in good, healthy mind is sold a bill of goods that turns out to be something that it’s not,” Chelgren told the Iowa Globe Gazette, making legal, medical abortion procedures sound like snake oil peddled by a fake doctor in a 19th century traveling medicine show.

So, uterus-havers, we need to be on top of this. Repealing Obamacare and provisions for access to contraception are obvious examples of the erosion of or our access to health care, but it’s likely that Republicans will have other sneaky ways like this Iowa bill to try to limit our existing rights through less conventional means.

After growing up evangelical, feminism empowered me to address my depression

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I grew up in an evangelical church that interpreted the Bible literally — meaning I was taught that everything from the Garden of Eden to demonic possession actually happened. One particular verse — “women should not teach or exercise authority over men” — seemed to come up particularly frequently throughout my childhood.

It wasn’t often explicitly stated that women were inferior to men, but there was a common separate-but-equal thread in the messaging. “Women are like fine china, easily broken but beautiful, whereas men are like Tupperware, durable and dependable” one church leader said during a high school service. Even then, I knew I didn’t want to be associated with dishes.

More: I may never get off depression medication, and that's OK

By the age of 16, my entire life revolved around my church — at times, I’d attend four times a week. Women were given tasks like planning potlucks and babysitting, while men were relied upon to preach sermons and budget church funds.

While I was learning to speak in tongues (yes, that actually happened) and singing songs about Noah’s Ark, something else was going on.

Since I was around 11 years old, depression would curl around me like a giant leech and suck the feelings out of me. Of course, I didn’t know it was depression. At the time, Evangelical Christianity didn’t have much of understanding of mental illness. I was taught deep sadness had its roots in spiritual deficiencies and attributed my suicidal thoughts to my lack of faith in God. I was weak, therefore I was sad.

Unsurprisingly, the way women dressed and acted was also popular topic during sermons. Before I even I sprouted boobs, I was told my body was a sinful thing that would spur lust in even the holiest of men. It was my job to hide my body. While my classmates sported bikinis, I wore tankinis well into my 20s and never bought anything that showed my collar bone or upper thigh.

More: 11 things depression feels like besides "sad"

It wasn’t until I moved out of my house at 19 years old that religion started to fade into the background of my life. No longer under my religious parents' roof, I began to question certain teachings from the church while studying at my liberal college.

At the same time, I started therapy and was finally given a proper depression diagnosis. Psychology and logic became the anchors I clung to. My therapist encouraged me to read books that challenged my thinking. I devoured works by Rumi and Henry David Thoreau while picking up books about metaphysics and moral philosophy.

Eventually, a kind of cognitive dissonance took place. I could no longer hold onto the literal interpretation of the Bible as I became a more critical thinker. Too many things didn’t add up. How could a man like Jesus of Nazareth, who seemed to love with his entire being while fighting against the status quo, teach that some humans (men) were more valuable than others (women).

Women’s studies sneaked its way into my college experience. It began during a required journalism class. The professor introduced famed journalist and feminist, Gloria Steinem, and I slowly fell in love with her words. Her fight for liberation felt like a call to action. The Women’s Movement seemed to be doing something that paralleled Christianity’s mission of becoming a voice for the voiceless, even if most Christians wouldn’t touch feminism with a 10-foot pole.

More: Depression is not a sign of weakness, and neither is taking medication for it

The following year, I signed up for a feminism studies class titled “Women, Sex and Power.” On the first day of class, our professor wrote a quote by Mary Shear on the whiteboard: “Feminism is the radical notion that women are people.” It took a while to even wrap my head around that idea, but it felt so incredibly good. I spent hours poring over the words of Virginia Woolf, Bell Hooks and Kate Millett. Reading feminist locutions was like digging myself out of a grave packed with years of religious fallibilities.

Despite my progress, living with depression is probably something I’ll have to carry for the rest of my life. Each week I sit under framed photos of ocean scenes as I share my darkest thoughts with my therapist. I also take a little white pill every day to give me the chemical balance I need. Along with treatment, clinging to the ideals of feminism has comforted me in the times I’ve struggled the most.

By becoming a feminist, I learned how to stand up for myself and tap into my inner badass. Coming to terms with the fact that weakness isn’t something inherently female was empowering. Though, I don’t consider myself a Christian anymore, I find myself reflecting on the numerous stories of Jesus standing up for the dignity and autonomy of women who were cast aside, and I can’t help but think he was actually a feminist too.

The Arrangement is definitely not based on Tom Cruise & Katie Holmes

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Finally, a TV show is going to show us exactly what went down between Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes when he paid her to be his wife for five years.

More: Tom Cruise's reported "relationship" with Suri breaks our hearts

Oh, just kidding. A new E! series, The Arrangement, shows a famous actor paying a much less famous actress a whole bunch of money to marry him, and it's basically exactly what all the 2005 rumors said was happening between Cruise and Holmes. But the show's creator, Jonathan Abrahams, insists that's not what's going on here.

At the Television Critics Association winter press tour, he told the audience, "the series is not inspired by the rumored circumstances surrounding Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes’ ill-fated union, nor is it a takedown of Scientology." He also said that the fictional organization in his series, called the Institute of the Higher Mind, is "not a religion," even though characters refer to it as a cult in the preview. He says his series is "a truly unique story that takes place in Hollywood."

Uh, OK. If you say so. But just to make sure we have all the facts here, let's recap what went down between Cruise and Holmes.

It was 2005, and Cruise was fresh off his divorce from Nicole Kidman. The rumors around Hollywood were that Cruise had approached several young actresses, including Sofía Vergara, Scarlett Johansson and Katie Holmes, with a five-year marriage contract. Cruise would get to rehab his image and shake the increasing rumors that he was gay, and his wife would get a career boost and cash. Win-win... if you don't count the creepy arranged marriage vibes.

More: Wow, being married to Tom Cruise sounds awful, and Katie Holmes confirms it

Tony Ortega, an editor of the Village Voice who covered Scientology for more than a decade, making him the closest thing the world has to an expert on Cruise and Holmes' relationship, told the Huffington Post in 2012 that he didn't think the whole arranged marriage thing actually happened, but that those rumors did have kind of a basis in reality.

"That urban legend probably grew out of a misunderstanding of what actually did occur," Ortega said. "Several young women were vetted by the church and 'tried out' as Tom’s next wife before Katie Holmes was chosen."

Ortega also said women approached by Cruise were required to sign pretty strict nondisclosure agreements — a "standard procedure in the church."

It's long been rumored that the reason we know so little about Cruise and Holmes' divorce is because of some kind of contract she was forced to sign requiring her to keep the details of their split out of the press. And if their marriage was arranged and she was paid to be Cruise's wife, it would make sense that all involved parties would want to keep that story out of the headlines.

So while we may never know the exact truth of what happened between Cruise and Holmes, it's a pretty safe bet that The Arrangement isn't the "truly unique story" that Abrahams is shilling. While it may not be based on the real story of Cruise and Holmes' relationship, it's way too close to the rumors not to have been inspired by the former power couple.

The Arrangement trailer

The Arrangement trailer

More: Katie Holmes & Tom Cruise: The world's fastest divorce

Before you go, check out our slideshow below.

Actors in Scientology slideshow
Image: Daniel Tanner/Wenn

I'm applying to be one of the first people on Mars

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Growing up on the Space Coast meant a lot of things. Most think it was about living on the ocean and being in beautiful weather everyday.

For some, maybe. But for me, not at all.

Growing up I watched Apollo rockets blast off into space followed by Space Shuttles from my own backyard.

I have spent a good portion of my life staring up at the stars trying to name them while looking for whatever else was up there (Space Shuttles, the International Space Station or satellites) quietly mixed in as they circled Earth.

So it only makes since, for as long as I can remember, that I've had a secret desire to be an astronaut. To escape the Earth at tremendous speed, fly weightlessly towards other planets and hear the sound of space is definitely on my bucket list!

More: I thought she was my best friend until I had to ghost her

In the 1980's, my then-husband's friend became an astronaut and commanded two of four Shuttle missions. It was there that I had a front row seat of the astronauts, their families and NASA itself. Closer than I would ever be for lift-offs and touch-downs, it only re-enforced my desire to be one of them.

At that time rumors swirled from those working at NASA that Mars was the new goal. It was thought that if we could establish an outpost there, we would be able to go further into space. I always knew it would happen and it appears that we are now ready.

In the Fall of 2015, NASA announced that it would be looking for recruits to "carry out deep-space explorations missions that will advance to a future human mission to Mars" and even posted it on www.usajobs.gov. Hollywood did their part releasing the feel-good movie 'The Martian' showing how a botanist, played by Matt Damon, could survive on the big red planet for years.

I was all in.

More: Why I'm teaching myself to be less available to everyone

I finally broke my silence and shared my dream with the only person I knew who wouldn't laugh at me. Explaining it in a 'wouldn't it be crazy if I applied' kind of way, my husband said that I should do it. He also gently reminded me that I would probably have to conquer my motion sickness before they actually accepted me.

I then asked my nephew who just happens to be an Air Force officer, astrophysicist and pilot if he was going to apply. Already working at Cape Canaveral he's pretty much the 'right stuff.' He matter-of-factly answered that he was going to wait until the first group came back safely.

Given the chance, I’d go tomorrow.

Why? I’m really not sure. To experience what it's like being amongst others with the same fascination with space as myself? To see if it really is as quiet as they say? To meet other beings that may or may not be friendly? Or maybe just to be able to escape the Kardashian family for awhile.

More: 8 ways we're making the world a better place in 2017

What I do know is that it would be an exciting adventure going to that big red planet. Maybe it would even draw our country back together again and away from the hate and anger that seems to be everywhere these days.

I remember how everyone was glued to their TV in 1969 when Apollo 11 landed on the Moon. We held our breaths while we waited for Neil Armstrong to emerge from the Lunar Module and step onto the dusty surface and make the first footsteps from a human. Or when we prayed for Apollo 13 to return safely back home after a mid-mission explosion jeopardized the 3 crew members' lives. And I remember how our country cried on January 28, 1986 when the Challenger disaster took seven heroes from us just 73 seconds into flight.

Maybe that's the real reason I want to go to Mars. To be a part of something so big and important that it brings us all together in a positive way. Glued to their smartphones people would text, tweet and share the excitement of humans going to Mars. And everyone would be cheering for the middle-aged woman clutching her barf bag as she goes slipping the surly bonds of Earth.

Hey, you've gotta have dreams.

Pink's daughter is mighty jealous of her new baby brother

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Oh, man. I love me some Pink — and it’s not just because my high school best friend’s mother used to sing karaoke with Pink’s mother on Friday nights at an Irish bar in Philly. (But she totally did.)

No, I’ve always loved Pink’s whole unapologetic approach to marriage and motherhood — the good, the bad and the messy. And now that new baby son Jameson Moon is on the scene, I have to say: I am fangirling even harder.

Apparently, Pink’s 5-year-old daughter, Willow Sage, is not having any of this little brother garbage, which is understandable because, hey, when your parents are rock star Pink and motocross racer Carey Hart, you can imagine the kind of awesome swag that’s pouring into that house for baby Jameson.

More: Pink's new baby is here

According to Pink, Willow is super-jealous of her new brother. When Ellen DeGeneres asked Pink how she’s handling Willow’s mixed reaction, Pink confessed, ”I do all kinds of stuff.... She’s a little weepy these days, so we’re working it out."

"All kinds of stuff" includes an official big sister party in honor of Willow. Pink shared pictures on Instagram of the fete, complete with helium balloons and a "Congrats Big Sis!” cake.

Pink big sis party

Pink big sis party

Dang. Why didn’t I think of that? We sure could have used a big sis party at my house when my second daughter arrived on the scene. My newborn’s 2-year-old big sis was less than thrilled, and took any chance she could to bend her little sister’s tiny fingers backward as far as they would go (uh, not far — do not try this at home or let older siblings try this at home).

Pink also admitted, "I literally put Jameson down when [Willow] walks in the room." Hey, you can cry foul all you want. You can say Willow just needs to grow a pair (OK, so you probably didn’t just think, That 5-year-old needs to grow a pair, but you know what I mean). But I say Pink’s compassionate handling of her daughter’s jealousy will pay off big time in the long run. And you can quote me on that.

More: 10 signs you have an older sister in your life


Esosa Ighodaro: ‘Have a good meal often & find someone to laugh with’

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A Brooklyn native, Esosa Ighodaro started her career as many finance degree holders do, working for a bank on Wall Street. However, she quickly realized her life’s calling was elsewhere. Ighodaro met future business partner Abiodun Johnson on a subway platform en route to a party. He asked her about her dress, they struck up a conversation and he ended up joining her at the event. Thus, their joint passions for fashion and tech created the foundations for their company, COSIGN.

COSIGN allows people to easily tag and find product information within a photo on a social platform, making the post “shoppable” and allowing the tagger to earn money from their social posts. With COSIGN, now anyone can earn money from their selfies.

We asked Ighodaro about her journey from finance guru to entrepreneur and the little things that keep her going.

Name & Title:

Esosa Ighodaro, co-founder & president of COSIGN

Age:

30

One-sentence description of your business: 

We turn products within photos into shoppable posts on social media.

Esosa Ighodaro IG

Esosa Ighodaro IG

What is your morning routine?

After I hit snooze twice, I wake up and thank God and say a little prayer. Then, I think about three to five things I am grateful for. This helps start the day on a happy note. Then I prepare for my day and decide what to wear.

What is your work uniform?

My go-to style consists of jeans, a blouse and flats.

What apps can’t you live without?

COSIGN, of course. I am also always on Facebook and WhatsApp.

How would you describe your workspace?

My workspace is the world’s smallest office on Wall Street, but it does the job for now. It fits about three desks and a three-in-one printer.

Esosa Ighodaro wall street office
Image: Esosa Ighodaro

What do you wish someone had told you when you were just starting your business?

I wish someone told me that finding the right talent will be hard, so start now. Also, raising money isn't a cakewalk, so save as much as you can and find alternative fundraising options.

You can have a business meeting with any three people, living or dead. Who do you choose?

Oprah Winfrey, Mahatma Gandhi and Michelle Obama. They are geniuses.

What is the key to balancing work and nonwork, business and play?

The key to balancing work and nonwork is to enjoy the ride, have a good meal often and find someone to laugh with. Also, try to take a vacation, even if it’s a staycation, at least twice a year.

Esosa Ighodaro
Image: Esosa Ighodaro

What do you do to relax?

It’s really tough for me to relax, but I try to watch a movie or binge a TV series. If I want to splurge, I treat myself to a day at the Turkish bathhouse for a massage and heated saunas.

Any beauty or health secrets?

I have a thing for face masks. I try to do a mask weekly and see the difference when I get lazy or forget. Honey masks are awesome! Put natural honey all over your face for 10 minutes and rinse [it] off. Your skin will be more even and so soft.

What was the last trip you took?

South Africa was one of the most amazing places I have ever visited. It is truly one of the world’s most beautiful cities and people. I visited Johannesburg, Cape Town and Durban last month.

What’s the best piece of advice you’ve ever received?

Building a business is not easy, so plan to go through a few storms along the way. You can’t avoid tough times; you can only get through them by taking care of things you can control.

Esosa Ighodaro
Image: Esosa Ighodaro

Quitting my workouts was the healthiest decision I ever made

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“You’re such a piece of shit. I can’t believe you missed the gym again! Ugh, you disgust me. You’re so worthless...”

Such was my mental state in late spring 2015. These self-flagellating thoughts had begun as encouragement: “Kait, you gotta go to the gym if you want to heal from this injury!” Over a few months’ time, they transformed into full-on mean girl. I lived with them, feeling endlessly guilty. Until I decided enough was enough. And like the stubborn Aries-cusp-Taurus I am, I stopped working out all together.

I knew that if I didn’t manage the self-hatred, I would spiral back into the depths of my eating disorder. So I gave up the gym for an entire summer. I decided to not change my eating habits. Instead, I’d work on loving my body. I only moved her in ways that felt joyful instead of punishing. I spent lots of time naked, often in front of the mirror noticing how she changed. I self-pleasured. I took meandering walks through my beloved city. I asked my body what she needed and practiced listening.

More: Just because I'm agoraphobic doesn't mean that I'm introverted

Yes, I gained weight. Body parts that had never before come in contact were touching. And I felt happier and more in love with my body and my life than ever.

At the end of summer, a friend invited me to her friend's brand new dance class. The body-positive approach appealed to me. It was the movement practice I had been waiting for, and the perfect first step back into the wild world of working out precisely because it wasn’t a workout. Instead it was a joyful celebration of the body, a chance to connect and breathe, and meditate through dance, my favorite form of movement.

Image: Kait Scalisi

I left that first class in tears. For the first time in several years, I had moments without pain. I felt completely safe and at home in my body. I also knew that some things needed to change. First: re-instituting daily living room dance parties. Second, I needed a personal trainer to guide the next steps of my healing journey. Not just any trainer, but one who was familiar with my injuries and who would be sensitive to my murky history with working out. I found her - a guest at one of my sex ed workshops! - and the next phase of joyfully moving my body began.

More: Exercise helps ease my anxiety by giving me control over my body

Since then I've continued to both attend Embody and work with my trainer. The discoveries I made during those months were be key in guiding me through the tougher times that followed, like getting diagnosed with two chronic illnesses in 7 months. I've found gratitude for my inner mean girl who pushed me to stop working out and start listening to and honoring what my beautiful body truly needs.

More: I'm not "lucky to be thin" — I'm chronically ill

These days, I move my body several times a week. I still host almost daily living room dance parties. I love restorative and backcare yoga. I go to physical therapy. One of my favorite friend dates - IRL or via phone - is the “talk and wander.” And those old thoughts? They still pop up from time to time. I don’t expect them to ever fully go away. But now I know they’re false - and I ask my body what she really needs and do my very best to honor it.

Matthew McConaughey's daughter is smarter than he is

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All right, all right, all right. We can totally get behind Matthew McConaughey’s parenting observations about the differences between girls and boys.

The Oscar-winning star and father of daughter, Vida, 7, and sons, Levi, 8, and Livingston, 4, told People that he thinks girls “are smarter quicker. They just mature quicker, they just get it quicker.”

More: Pink's daughter is mighty jealous of her baby brother

Aw, Matthew. Flattery will get you everywhere.

McConaughey is a big fan of his daughter’s out-of-the-box thinking. “My daughter gets to the bottom of situations quicker than I do,” he said. “My son and I try to figure out where the car keys are and go through ideas [like], ‘Could they be in the coat you wore yesterday? Or maybe Livingston took ’em and put ’em over here.’ Vida’ll just walk by and go, ‘Did you check the ignition?’ And sure enough, they’re in the ignition.”

Yup. Because that's HOW WE DO.

Sounds like the Vida apple doesn’t fall far from the Mama tree, either. McConaughey’s wife, Camila Alves, is another cool-headed thinker according to McConaughey. Apparently, Alves took her sweet time before agreeing to a date with him. (Nice!) His cooking finally won her over. The unfairly good-looking pair met in 2006, got engaged on Christmas Day 2011 and got hitched in June 2012.

By all accounts, theirs is one of the most solid, lovey-dovey celeb marriages out there, with McConaughey, Alves and their kids frequently spotted out and about spreading all sorts of photogenic joy and snuggly PDA. .

More: 35 "weird" celebrity baby names people love to hate

We have a crush on the whole adorable family. Vida, just make sure Daddy doesn't lock his keys in the car, OK?

Meghan Markle's half-brother could go to prison for domestic abuse

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Meghan Markle, Prince Harry's girlfriend, is in the midst of some family drama.

More: Meghan Markle's birthday gift to Kate Middleton is just dreamy

Markle's brother, Thomas Markle Jr., is set to make a court appearance next month after being accused of pressing a gun to his girlfriend's head. The Daily Mail reports that he could be facing up to five years in prison.

Thomas was arrested in Grants Pass, Oregon, after a drunken fight in the home he shares there with his girlfriend of two months, Darlene Blount. According to the report, he faces one charge of unlawful use of a weapon, a felony that carries a maximum sentence of five years in prison and a $125,000 fine. He's also charged with one count of menacing domestic violence, a misdemeanor that could land him in prison for up to a year.

More: No one will be surprised if Prince Harry & Meghan Markle get engaged in 2017

According to the police report, Thomas and Blount got into a drunken argument last week that ended when he pressed the gun to her head. Police say she then locked herself in a bathroom to call 911. When police arrived at the house, they arrested Thomas. Court papers say he had a blood alcohol level of 0.17 when he was arrested. He spent a night in jail before being released the next morning on a $1,500 bond.

Rumors online say that his ex-wife, Tracy Dooley, posted his bond, but Thomas denies that.

"I didn't get bailed out by Tracy or ask her for any money — that was lies, all lies," he told the Daily Mail. He also disputes a statement that his son released in Thomas' name, saying that he hasn't even spoken with his son in several weeks.

Thomas' bail conditions prohibit him from drinking alcohol or contacting Blount.

More: Do Prince Harry and Meghan Markle's matching bracelets prove their love?

Before you go, check out our slideshow below.

Prince Harry

Image: WENN

What happens when personal values collide with company policy?

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Question:

My employer just threatened to fire me for having decent values and wanting to maintain them at work.

Here’s the problem. I work for a large sports facility that serves thousands of customers, young and old. Because we receive a small amount of federal funding, we can’t discriminate against employees or customers due to their sexual orientation or gender identity. This means a man named “Lena” who dresses as a woman can use the locker room — unsupervised — which is also used by little children.

I couldn’t let that happen. After all, what if something happened to those kids on my watch? So, when I saw Lena heading for the locker room, I stopped him, and told him he needed to use a unisex bathroom in the lobby as his changing place. I tried to do this discretely, however Lena turned it into an ugly confrontation. My manager came out, apologized to Lena and told me that Lena had a right to use the locker room of her choice.

He asked me to “just let it go” in the future and that Lena’s sexual identity wasn’t my business. He said if I acted with any other customer as I had with Lena or if I got into it again with Lena, I’d be fired.

But it is my business to protect the kids in our facility. And I have a right to my values and to be able to say enough is enough. What can I do?

Answer:

You have the right to your values and what you feel and believe is your business. When you accept a paycheck, however, you agree to put your individual beliefs aside if they contradict your employer’s policies. Further, Lena’s sexual identity isn’t your business, it’s hers.

More: I agreed to be a coworker's bridesmaid but I can't afford it

When you take away a transsexual or transgender customer’s ability to use the locker room that corresponds to her sexual identity, you invade her rights.

Think for a minute what led Lena to live life as a transgender individual, facing scorn and judgement from others. From early on, she felt she was a female stuck in a male body, and thus didn’t feel at “home.” Her decision to “come out” as a woman wasn’t a lightly made choice.

More: I feel complicit in my boss cheating our customers

Further, transgender individuals aren’t any more likely to become sexual predators than are others. Adult women pedophiles can come into the locker room as or more easily than can Lena.

More: My boss has totally given up at work, what do I do?

Finally, if you don’t hear what your supervisor tells you, you’re asking your employer to make a difficult choice between letting you do what you want to do or receiving federal funding, upholding their policies and respecting a customer’s rights. What can you do? You can offer Lena respect despite the fact that your and her values differ.

If you have a career questions you’d like Lynne to answer, write her at lynne@thegrowthcompany.com. Lynne is an executive coach and author of Solutions and Beating the Workplace Bully, AMACOM. You can follow Lynne through her other posts on sheknows.com, via www.workplacecoachblog.com, www.bullywhisperer.com™ or @lynnecurry10 on Twitter. https://twitter.com/lynnecurry10

Paula Deen's brother-in-law died by suicide

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Radar Online reports that Paula Deen‘s brother-in-law Henry Groover III has committed suicide after being served with a lawsuit alleging he sexually abused a young man for years.

More: Paula Deen cleared in race discrimination case

A source reportedly told the site that Groover killed himself after receiving the lawsuit, which called him a "sexual predator" and said he was "well known to some in the Savannah Chatham Metropolitan area as a pedophile." The lawsuit alleges that from the years 1983 to present... [Groover] lured and otherwise enticed the minor into the illegal sexual acts," and that Groover "used LSD, alcohol, MDMA, cocaine and other illicit substances to lure and otherwise attract" the minor for "illegal, lewd and explicit sexual acts."

The young man claims that he has "endured grievous personal injury and continues to this day to suffer extreme anguish which has affected every element of his life," and was seeking monetary damages from Groover.

The family of the young man told Radar that they decided to sue Groover now because he moved to a home near theirs, where he could "continuously observe the plaintiff’s family," they allege.

Police confirmed to Radar that they are investigating Groover's death as a suicide.

Groover, a Dominican priest, served as a spiritual advisor to Deen, she has said. He was the brother of Deen's husband, Michael Groover.

Mark Tate, the attorney representing the young man who accused Groover of abuse, gave a statement to Radar, saying, "Clearly this sad man knew that all his sins were about to be revealed in a way he could not any longer deny nor live with. It’s a sad ending for a sad man made only worse by the untold numbers of children whose lives were ruined by his perversions."

More: Paula Deen opens new store, stumbles down memory lane

If you suspect someone might be considering suicide, or you have struggled with those thoughts yourself, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).

Before you go, check out our slideshow below.

DWTS Paula Deen slideshow
Image: ABC/Craig Sjodin

The most gorgeous posters for the Women’s March on Washington

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In case you’re having trouble thinking of something smart to write on your poster for the Women’s March on Washington this weekend (or a local spinoff march in a city or town near you), never fear: The Amplifier Foundation just released the results of their poster contest, and the five designs they chose are stunning.

Womens's march posters 1
Image: Victoria Garcia, Liza Donovan
Woman's march 2
Image: Kate Deciccio, Jessica Sabogal, Jennifer Maravillas

Even if you’ve already whipped up a poster of your own (or have no intention of attending a march at all), these five beautiful pieces of art are definitely worth checking out. During an open call that was just eight days long, Amplifier received a staggering 5,000 submissions from women-identified and non-binary humans all over the country. All five are incredible, and something about the fifth one especially spoke to us — and gave us goose bumps. It’s a visual of a young girl, innocence written all over her illuminated face, looking up at the text, “Women Are Perfect.” Yes.

More: What to do if you encounter counter-protesters at the Women’s March on Washington

Judges included Carmen Perez and Paola Mendoza from the Women’s March on Washington, Cleo Barnett from the Amplifier Foundation, independent artist Swoon, and Jess X. Snow and Favianna Rodriguez. They chose images from Jessica Sabogal, Victoria Garcia, Jennifer Maravillas, Kate Deciccio, and Liza Donovan. Just try to get through all five of them without feeling something.

More: The Women’s March on Washington cheat sheet

The good news is that even if you come empty-handed to the march, Amplifier has committed to printing at least 30,000 posters and nine large-scale banners, to be disseminated for free day-of via distribution points around Washington, D.C. If you’re hoping to score one of these incredible designs, a map of pickup locations will be available in the next day or two. Check back here to find out where to snag your very own professionally printed poster.

More: One way we can resist Trump's agenda? Raise conscious kids


Snow day craft idea: Make pinecone bird treats with your kids

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Winter has arrived, and many of us across the country are on snowmageddon lockdown. If you’re like us and looking for something fun and easy — and inexpensive — to do with your kids, try making these natural bird treats.

More: Best snow day activities for kids

I made mine using shredded wheat, but you can use birdseed, crackers or another type of cereal. Do avoid sugary cereals and artificial coloring, though. (Check out BirdChannel.com for more on which cereals are best for birds.)

A word of caution when using bird seeds: As the birds eat and hang out near their treats they’re likely to drop seeds onto the ground which can blossom into annoying weeds in the spring.

Let's go!

Step 1: Gather materials

Tools for bird treat
Image: Rhiannon Fionn/SheKnows

You will need pinecones of any size, yarn or string, scissors, a bowl, cereal (or crackers or bird seed), a butter knife and peanut butter — creamy or chunky will work.

Step 2: Attach string or yarn

Tuck strings into pinecone
Image: Rhiannon Fionn/SheKnows

Be sure to cut your string or yarn pieces long enough so that they’ll hang freely. I cut 18-inch pieces. Tuck the string underneath the pinecone’s scales. (Be aware that they can be pokey, so consider wearing gloves.) Once the string has made it around the pinecone, gather both ends of the string and tie them together.

Step 3: Crumble cereal or crackers into a bowl

Cereal in bowl
Image: Rhiannon Fionn

Aim to have a mix of very small chunks of cereal. Remember: Birds have small beaks and mouths.

Step 4: Cover pinecones with peanut butter

Peanut butter on pine cone
Image: Rhiannon Fionn/SheKnows

Hold the string in your hand, keeping it taut against the pinecone to help you hold it in place while you spread peanut butter. Be sure to get into the crevasses!

A note about peanut butter and birds: There are old wives tales out there that warn against feeding birds peanut butter, but they’ve been busted.

Step 5: Roll peanut butter-covered pinecones in cereal (or cracker crumbs or bird seed)

Pine cone bird treats in bowl
Image: Rhiannon Fionn/SheKnows

I also like to sprinkle the cereal over the pinecones and gently pat it into the peanut butter.

Then use your bowl to carry your bird treats outside.

Step 5: Treat the birds

Hanging bird feeders
Image: Rhiannon Fionn/SheKnows

Be sure to position them so that your family (and your cats!) can see them from a window. Then watch as your neighborhood birds visit for a snack.

Did one of your strings fall off like one of mine did? (My third pinecone fell apart on the end where I wound the string.) No worries. Just drop it on the ground and sprinkle any leftover cereal on top of them. The birds will be happy to nosh on your mistakes too.

Bird feeder on ground
Image: Rhiannon Fionn/SheKnows

More: 10 stages of a snow day for a work-at-home mom

Samantha Bee is spot on with her Kellyanne Conway and Cersei Lannister comparison

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In the Game of Thrones, you win or die. The Game of Presidents is a bit less harsh, but distressing nonetheless. In this game, Kellyanne Conway is the equivalent of Cersei Lannister, before she went all badass. She is heavily underestimated by her opponents, who do not understand the lengths to which she'll go to climb the career ladder — or in Cersei's case, to ascend the Iron Throne.

More: New Samantha Bee theory: Donald Trump can't read — and it totally makes sense

According to Samantha Bee, Conway is a master of deception. She knows how to appear demure and nonthreatening, but those who underestimate her do so at their own peril. After all, she's capable of accomplishing quite a bit while people look the other way.

Kellyanne Conway video

Kellyanne Conway video

As Bee noted during tonight's episode of Full Frontal, Conway's rise through the political ranks was nearly as unexpected as Donald Trump's. Just a few months before she was appointed campaign manager, Conway was perfectly happy to trash Trump's platform and behavior. Remember: she originally was a strong Ted Cruz advocate. She changed her tune quickly, however, and now, she is all too happy to dodge questions left and right, all in the name of making the guy responsible for her big promotion look good.

More: Yes, Cleveland police union's head said Samantha Bee would be a good hooker

Near the end of tonight's segment on Conway, Bee made a comparison that was just too good to pass up: Kellyanne Conway as the real-world version of Cersei Lannister. No, Conway's nowhere near as horrible as the Lannister lady we so love to hate, but she is clearly willing to say one thing and do another if it means she'll move into a more powerful role. She's also blonde, beautiful and very cunning — you have to be in order to get someone as controversial as Trump elected!

More: Samantha Bee reminds us that President Obama wasn't perfect

Sometimes, real-world political drama is just as crazy, if not crazier than that portrayed on our favorite high-budget television shows. No, we don't have White Walkers or dragons to contend with, but there are plenty of other legitimate reasons to be anxious going forward. Here's hoping that the Trump presidency ends on a different note than King's Landing did in Season 6.

What do you think of Samantha Bee's Kellyanne Conway comparison? Humorous or unfair? Do you think Conway takes after a different Game of Thrones character? Comment and share your opinion below.

Johnny Depp's bangs weren't the only thing weird about his PCA's speech

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The 2017 People's Choice Awards were so incredibly boring you could be forgiven for tuning out early, but then you would've missed the one interesting moment of the night: Johnny Depp's speech.

Depp, who was given the final award of the night for Favorite Movie Icon, stumbled his way through an awkward thanks that, though heartfelt, left many wondering what was behind his bumbling delivery (not to mention those unfortunate bangs).

Johnny Depp PCAs speech

Johnny Depp PCAs speech

"I came here for one reason tonight and one reason only," he said. "I came here for you, the people, who through whatever good times or bad, you know, have stood by me, trusted me. Thank you. You very, very graciously invited me here once again tonight . . . You have no idea how much I appreciate it."

"Listen, I was very deeply affected by the kindness of your recognition and by your well wishes to my family and to myself, which is why it's especially meaningful to me to be here in front of you to say thank you and to tell you that I do thank you."

While speaking, Depp repeatedly tugged on three safety pins in his ear and tried to talk with the audience, thanking one for saying "I love you," then confusingly asking, "Weren't you just over there?"

Twitter had some feelings about it.

Johnny Depp drunk PCAs speech

Johnny Depp drunk PCAs speech

More: Now Johnny Depp is demanding money from Amber Heard for some reason

People also weren't too thrilled with him being honored after his ex-wife Amber Heard accused him of domestic violence.

Johnny Depp abuse tweets

Johnny Depp abuse tweets

More: Amber Heard confirms Johnny Depp divorce drama is still not over

While Heard dropped her request for a domestic violence restraining order as part of the couple's divorce settlement, a joint statement from the couple pretty much confirmed she didn't make the story up.

Before you go, check out our slideshow below.

People's Choice Awards 2017 winners' speeches
Image: Kevin Winter/Getty Images

Jennifer Lopez is already bringing Drake into her family

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Draylo, it seems, has some serious staying power.

According to Us Weekly, Lopez has already introduced Drake to her twins, 8-year-old Max and Emme, which is a big sign that Lopez and Drake are serious.

More: Drake and Jennifer Lopez are officially DraLo

"Drake has been hanging out at Jennifer’s new house in Bel Air," an insider dished to the outlet. "He has been there several times and is getting to know her kids."

It would make sense that Lopez, what with her busy career, would want to spend as much time with her children as possible. And, with her new relationship and her limited time, it's no wonder the hangouts overlapped sooner rather than later.

Us Weekly's source added, "They all have a lot of fun together. Her kids really like him and they know all of his songs. They like having him around."

More: DraLo spent New Year's Eve together, so they've gotta be serious, right?

This isn't the first time we've heard Drake and Lopez are serious about one another.

The news that Drake has met Lopez's kids comes on the heels of reports that Drake wants children with Lopez, though apparently Lopez, at 47, isn't so keen to pop out any more babies.

"She's done having babies," a source reported to In Touch. "But Drake's at a point in his life where he wants it all — a hot partner and the kids. It's causing problems."

More: DraLo fans have nothing to worry about, even if Drake is texting Nicki Minaj

Drake is only 30 years old so the fact that he would be considering a family makes sense. Of course, Drake and Lopez have only been dating since the end of last year. Discussions about children usually take a lot longer than that so these two have time.

Do you think Drake is ready to settle down or is Draylo moving too quickly?

Abigail Breslin is friends with Tiffany Trump, get over it

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Abigail Breslin is one of many celebs who are friends with the Trump family. That doesn't mean she or anyone else deserves hate. Nor does it mean these celebs necessarily agree with the family's political views.

More: Does Donald Trump have nothing better to do than tweet about Meryl Streep?

Breslin posted a photo on Instagram, celebrating a friends birthday on Tuesday with a group, which included Tiffany Trump.

abigail breslin pic with tiffany trump

abigail breslin pic with tiffany trump

The hate against Tiffany began almost immediately. Breslin herself was faced with a backlash of insults, as well, for associating with Tiffany.

Tiffany Trump hate comment
Image: Abigail Breslin/Instagram
Tiffany Trump hate comment
Image: Abigail Breslin/Instagram
Tiffany Trump hate comment
Image: Abigail Breslin/Instagram
Tiffany Trump hate comment
Image: Abigail Breslin/Instagram

The responses to Breslin's photo were so insane, Breslin was compelled to respond on Twitter, defending her friend.

abigail breslin response to trump hate 1

abigail breslin response to trump hate 1

abigail breslin response to trump hate 2

abigail breslin response to trump hate 2

abigail breslin response to trump hate 3

abigail breslin response to trump hate 3

Let's all remember: Chelsea Clinton herself is friends with Ivanka Trump.

More: Donald Trump's joke about dating a little girl is creeping everyone out

Also, Leonardo DiCaprio met with Ivanka once Donald Trump was elected to discuss the environment with her.

Considering her family and her desire to be a singer, Tiffany is bound to have plenty of friends in Hollywood. Her association don't mean anything about her political affiliations or those of her friends. And even if her political affiliations don't align with people's expectations, it's her business and hers alone.

More: A timeline of Donald Trump & Rosie O'Donnell's 10 years of hatred

So far Tiffany hasn't commented on the crazy comments or Breslin's defense.

Before you go, check out our slideshow below.

celebs against trump slideshow
Image: FayesVision/WENN.com
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