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Top Chef's Annie Pettry is definitely rooting for the rookies this season

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"To truly understand the local cuisine," guest chef Frank Lee says on Top Chef, "you have to dine in the homes of the locals." And that is exactly what the cheftestants did on Episode 2.

More: Top Chef's Gerald S. says exactly what everyone thought about those truffles

Split into two teams, the chefs were tasked with creating their own family meals based on a meal they had at a local chef's home in Charleston. Fast forward past a dramatic trip to Whole Foods and the veterans won, with Chef Annie Pettry asked to pack her knives and go.

Annie Pettry Top Chef Season 14
Image: Paul Cheney/Bravo

We asked Pettry if she was surprised by her elimination, who her biggest competition was and more.

SheKnows: Were you surprised by your elimination?

Annie Pettry: I was surprised to be eliminated. My tart wasn’t perfect. It could have used a few more minutes in the oven, but it tasted great.

SK: What was it like working with all the judges on the show? Who's the most intimidating?

AP: I was most intimidated by Tom Colicchio. The man is a legend and a tough critic.

SK: Which contestant do you think deserves to win? Or who are you rooting for?

AP: Most of the chefs on the show are of the same caliber. The only difference in the "rookies" vs. "veterans" is that the rookies haven’t competed on a reality cooking show. I’m rooting for the rookie chefs to find their ground and even out the playing field. I'm excited to see how each one comes into their own during the season.

SK: Who did you consider your biggest competition?

AP: Other than myself, my biggest competition on the show is the veterans. They have the advantage of knowing how to play the game.

More: 4 things Top Chef taught me about cooking

SK: What's one thing that happened behind the scenes that viewers didn't get to see on the show?

AP: While we were waiting for the ruling from the judges' table on the second episode, we held sack races and had a blast chatting and getting to know each other.

SK: Who do you think deserved to go home on last night’s episode?

AP: It’s tempting to compare myself to the other competitors, but I didn’t go there to throw anyone under the bus. I was there to challenge myself.

SK: What was the best experience you had on the show?

AP: Getting to know the other chefs!

SK: What was the biggest challenge for you on the show?

AP: I battle debilitating nerves and stage fright, and these were my greatest challenges on the show. I was honored to be on the show and face my fear.

SK: Who's your favorite Top Chef contestant of all time and why?

AP: Stephanie Izzard is my all-time favorite Top Chef contestant because she is genuinely a good person, a great competitor and a badass chef.

More: The three female winners of Top Chef have some words for the new contestants

Tune into Top Chef every Thursday at 10/9c on Bravo, immediately followed by Last Chance Kitchen at 11/10c.

Before you go, check out our slideshow below.

Top Chef where are they now slideshow
Image: Joe Kohen/Getty Images

Leonardo DiCaprio's losing BFF Tobey Maguire — will his heart go on?

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Tobey Maguire has been single for like, two seconds, but he's already got a new prospect.

More: Leonardo DiCaprio is schooling Ivanka Trump in the ways of climate change

And it's a familiar face: his ex Demi Moore. According to Radar Online, Maguire and Moore dated briefly in 2002, before Moore hooked up with Ashton Kutcher. Sources say the spark between them is back and stronger than ever.

"Demi reached out to Tobey a couple weeks ago, and it didn’t take long for things to heat up," an insider said. "At first it was all pretty tame, but then Demi started reminiscing about all the good times they used to have and it just went on from there."

More: Rainforest charities don't want to be in cahoots with Leonardo DiCaprio anymore

Maguire announced the end of his marriage to Jennifer Meyer in the fall, and Moore has been mostly single since her marriage to Kutcher ended in 2011.

"Demi is still a sexy, attractive woman, and Tobey is just her type — younger, smart and kind of goofy," the source said. "She’d like more than a hookup. She’s very lonely these days and looking for someone to share her life with. Who knows where this will go?"

With this news, we have just one, very important question: How does Leonardo DiCaprio feel about all of this?

DiCaprio and Maguire have one of the strongest bromances in Hollywood. Just look at them:

Image: Giphy

Did... did DiCaprio just blow Maguire a kiss? Yes. Yes, he did.

If Maguire has a new girlfriend, will that cut into the time he spends on his bestie's yacht? Will their relationship stay as strong when Maguire has a new love to focus on? If this means more romance and less bromance, will Leo be OK?!

Leonardo DiCaprio GIF
Image: Giphy

More: 12 biggest reveals about your fave nostalgic stars on "Oprah: Where Are They Now?"

We can only hope Maguire remembers what's truly important here: DiCaprio.

Sean Hannity addresses America’s uteruses

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Ladies! Arise from your fainting couches. Sean Hannity says our uteruses will be fine.

Now, I know what you’re thinking, “I didn’t even realize Sean Hannity had gynecological experience at all, let alone familiarity with my unique womb!” That’s where you and your tiny lady brain would be wrong. He does, and according to him, there’s nothing to worry about. (Not to mention the fact that not all people with uteruses identify as women.)

More: Ohio may adopt the most restrictive abortion law in the country

In the opening monologue of his show last night, Hannity bemoaned the “collective freak-out from the crybaby left” that has apparently happened since the election. He then cites women cutting and dyeing their hair, talking about the “Trump 10” – weight gain since the election and low libido as examples of our overblown reactions to the potential of seeing a serious erosion of our rights and bodily autonomy with the incoming Trump administration.

He played a clip of Whoopi Goldberg on The View warning the audience to “watch your uterus,” and his response to that was the reassurance we’ve all been aching for since the wee hours of the morning of Nov. 9:

“Ladies, your uteruses will be fine.”

This is just the latest in a long tradition of utilizing uteruses as a means of undermining and controlling women. You may be familiar with hysteria, or the medical condition ancient and Victorian women got from having a “wandering womb,” which would typically require treatments and/or institutionalization to fix. While hysteria was officially declassified as a mental illness all the way back in 1980, some aspects — like using “hysterical” to mean mentally disturbed — linger.

Call me hysterical, but I believe Sean Hannity. I do think our uteruses will be fine.

More: 5 things that should have royally pissed you off this week

The thing is, they need our uteruses because they are how to grow babies. What we should be concerned about are the bodies that house the uteruses. The bodies and pesky brains of the women who possess the uteruses are the real stumbling block.

Time and time again, Republican-sponsored legislation has reduced women to walking baby cookers, insisting that the well-being of an embryo or fetus is more important than the person carrying it.

The most recent example of this is Ohio’s “Heartbeat Bill,” which would prohibit abortions under any conditions — including rape and incest — once the heartbeat of a fetus can be detected. This typically occurs around six weeks into the gestation process when many women who have irregular periods might not even know they’re pregnant.

And why would women get the far-fetched idea that the election results would in any way impact their reproductive health? Maybe because the Ohio Senate president specifically mentioned that even though the Heartbeat Bill had failed before they were going to try to pass it again, feeling emboldened by Trump’s election. In other words, even though people thought the bill was unconstitutional before, he’s optimistic that things may go his way this time because support for Trump is indicative of apathy toward women’s bodily autonomy. And this is before he’s even been sworn in.

More: 2016 has been a crappy year for women, and we're only five months in

So ladies, take it easy this weekend. Have a glass of wine and take a sensual bubble bath — your uterus will be just fine. It’s just the rest of your body you need to worry about.

The eggnog latte puts some zip into your Christmas cocktail

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Let's talk about eggnog. We love the idea of it — creamy and decadent, spiced like gingerbread. But the reality? Oof, so heavy. Well, NYC's Monarch Rooftop and Lounge executive mixologist Genese DeBeaux shared with us her antidote for that. It's her eggnog latte, a... shall we say... more energetic take on the classic.

More: Puerto Rican pistachio eggnog will be your new boozy holiday favorite

Eggnog latte recipe

Ingredients:

  • 1 ounce Rumchata
  • 1 ounce eggnog
  • 1 ounce espresso
  • Ice cubes
  • Crushed candy cane or other candies

Directions:

  1. In a cocktail shaker, combine Rumchata, eggnog, espresso and ice. Shake well.
  2. Rim a martini glass with crushed candy and strain the cocktail into it.

Before you go, check out our slideshow below.

25 boozy milkshakes that push decadence to a whole new level
Image: SheKnows

Raising my second child has been much harder than my first

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When I meet fellow parents and the conversation inevitably rolls around to our children after about sixty full seconds of idle chitchat, I often like to describe my parenting experience with a little joke. You know, one of terrible one liners that maybe once were charming but have now lost every ounce of originality through ruthless repetition. This one is mine:

"Nobody ever told me when I decided to get pregnant with our second child that we weren't having the same child."

Sometimes people giggle a little, render a polite smile or nod their heads sagely. But as parents, we share a secret understanding. There is a terrible, obvious truth to this joke. When you decide to enter into the parenting business for the second time, you do so armed with the experience and knowledge of your reality parenting your first child. You agree to get into this awful cycle of sleep deprivation and the humility of surrendering every last ounce of your patience and free time because you understand what you will receive in return. Except this is an illusion. Because you will never get to be the same parent twice.

Remember that parent who potty trained her kid in two weeks? Whose son was so well mannered, polite and sweet that other parents would invite him over simply in the hopes he might rub off on their offspring? The parent who took her easy going three year old to Europe for three weeks riding the rails, carting him around to the Louvre, a cable car on a mountainside in Switzerland and on a night train to Rome? Well, that parent is dead. My daughter killed her.

More: I started teaching my kids about gender identity as toddlers

My daughter is a difficult child. When we get invited to attend functions or meet up with friends, I began the mental arithmetic of adding up how painful she will be to deal with versus the appeal of escaping our daily pathos. She is currently on the far side of toddlerhood and certainly this complicates the situation. But in truth, she was a difficult baby, too. This is who she is. She is intensely stubborn, fiercely independent and extremely emotional. And innately aggressive. There are some ways in which she and her brother are the same. They are both highly intelligent and articulate children. Otherwise, he is the sun to her moon, the light to her dark, the cheerful ambassador to her taciturn aloofness.


I expect that I appreciate her personality not only for the challenge it presents but because I identify with it deeply. I recognize myself in her reluctance to trust others, her need for control and fear of vulnerability. She is a burning ball of intensity and strength, fearless in her confidence. My daughter will shout the house down before she gives you the satisfaction of compliance. The simplest request ("Could you pick up your shoes, please?") is met with a cackling laugh as she sprints in the opposite direction, yelling "No, never!" While this relentless combat is exhausting, my inner feminist dances with glee. My daughter will never doubt herself unless she is taught to, will never give an inch without making you earn it. Don't misunderstand I don't encourage violence or rudeness. But when the neighbor asks her for a hug and she firmly says no and comes and stands by my side, I rejoice. I never had to teach her her body was her own. I simply never undermined her assertiveness.

More: I didn’t baptize my kids because I want them to find their own faith

Of course, all this difficulty comes with its own reward. While she holds back her affection and enthusiasm from the world, she gives it wholeheartedly to the few she trusts. Most of the time, though I am the object of her resistance, I am also the sole receiver of her unwavering adoration. She trusts me implicitly. The intensity and depth of our relationship is something I hope we can hold onto in the coming years, despite interference from hormones and the outside world.

A few weeks ago, my daughter was having a typical temper tantrum about something that I've long since forgotten about. She had escalated fairly quickly from low grade fussing and whining to full out crying, kicking feet and flailing fists. I deposited her on her bed and told her she would need to calm down before she could come out of her room. As I turned to leave, she rushed up to me, swinging her fists within an inch of my face and screaming herself hoarse. Some parents would have restrained her, tried to force her compliance to a time out. It would be the wrong way to handle my daughter. She'd simply continue to escalate, feeding on the intensity of the reaction. Some parents might ignore her and close the door. This would infuriate her and she'd likely turn violent, pounding on the door and throwing herself on the carpet. In that moment, with her anger unleashed, I recognized something important in her eyes. She was afraid. She had lost control and the intensity of her emotions terrified her. She needed me. If I tried to force her to calm down, she might eventually do so, but I would have taught her that what she was feeling was unacceptable and should be smothered. Walking out the door would communicate that what she was feeling wasn't something she could share with me.

So I simply dropped to the floor and opened my arms. I didn't say a word. She fell into them with a sob and almost immediately, I saw the tension begin to uncoil in her body. All that passion is a gift I don't ever want her to feel ashamed of. She has to learn to manage it, to funnel it into ways that will allow that energy to create something beautiful instead of something monstrous. It's a challenge we'll both have to work at. I have a difficult daughter. Thank God. I wouldn't want it any other way.

More: Loved ones, please stop asking when we're going to have kids

10 funniest tweets from parents this week

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Moms and dads don't always have it easy. In fact, they rarely have it easy, which is exactly why funny tweets from other parents are pretty much one of life's necessities. If you've got little (or even not-so-little) ones at home, here's the laugh you so desperately need. Here are the 10 funniest tweets from parents this week.

1. It's a new world

new world

new world

2. It's the little things

christmas miracle

christmas miracle

3. Ultimate role model

role model

role model

More: Dad texts daughter reasons he loves her mom, we all swoon

4. Too much to ask

too much to ask

too much to ask

5. That's some dad-ish

new level of dad

new level of dad

6. Well, OK then

well okay then

well okay then

More: 6 chores for kids

7. Win some, lose some

win some lose some

win some lose some

8. It's all for the photo

all for the photo

all for the photo

9. Sounds kinda nice

sounds kinda nice

sounds kinda nice

More: 7 reasons you don't need to have your kids close in age

10. Not a bad idea

not a bad idea

not a bad idea

Days of Our Lives loses iconic cast member Joseph Mascolo

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It’s hard to imagine Salem without picturing Joseph Mascolo as Days of Our Lives’ greatest villain, Stefano DiMera. Even though the character was killed off in 2016 when Mascolo decided to retire from acting, the beloved actor was still a part of the DOOL family.

More: 5 ridiculous ways Stefano DiMera died on Days of Our Lives

It was announced today that Mascolo, 87, died Wednesday of Alzheimer’s disease.

The show’s producer, Ken Corday, released a statement remembering Mascolo.

"It is with great sorrow that we are sharing the news of the passing of our dear friend and beloved member of the Days of Our Lives family Joseph Mascolo," said Corday. "The smile on Joe’s face is something we’d all come to find comfort in, and he will be sorely missed. His larger-than-life presence, kind heart and unwavering positivity has impacted us all for decades and will live on in the memories of his many fans. Our thoughts and prayers go out to his family during this difficult time."

Mascolo got his start on the East Coast as a theatre actor in off-Broadway productions in the 1950s. He moved to Los Angeles to try his luck in film, and he made his screen debut in 1970 in Diary of a Mad Housewife. He also guest starred in TV shows like All in the Family, Lou Grant, The Incredible Hulk and Hill Street Blues.

More: T-Boz is taking no scrubs in prison on Days of Our Lives

In 1982, Mascolo's life changed when he was cast as Stefano DiMera, a role that was written for him by head writer Pat Fallen-Smith. The mob-boss-turned-unethical-businessman-turned-terrorist was a fan favorite among viewers.

His character had so many deaths, it was hard to keep track of. You could try to kill Stefano DiMera, but he always came back to life. It's why longtime fans nicknamed him "The Phoenix" because he always rose from the dead.

Despite a five-year hiatus from DOOL to join The Bold and the Beautiful as Massimo Marone, Mascolo came back home to Salem where he belonged. He retired from DOOL earlier this year.

More: Y&R and B&B aren't the only soaps with memorable crossovers

Fans reacted immediately to the news once it was posted on the official DOOL Twitter account.

Joseph Mascolo dies

Joseph Mascolo dies

Joseph Mascolo dies-2

Joseph Mascolo dies-2

Joseph Mascolo dies-3

Joseph Mascolo dies-3

Cast members had not yet responded to the sad news as of press time.

Mascolo is survived by his wife, Patricia Schultz-Mascolo, his son, Peter, his step-daughter, Laura, five grandchildren and three great-grandchildren.

Joseph was a big ol' bear with a puppy-dog heart,” Schultz-Mascolo said in a statement. “I’m so blessed to have had these many years with him. I will miss him every day.”

We will miss him, too.

Before you go, check out our slideshow below.

celebrity deaths 2016 slideshow
Image: WENN

We've invented your new favorite holiday dip: Peppermint chocolate fondue

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Who here loves chocolate fondue? We love just about every kind of fondue because dipping food into gooey melted stuff is the best. So we came up with the perfect holiday-themed version — peppermint chocolate fondue. So get out your slow cooker and get ready for some pepperminty fun.

More: Red velvet hot chocolate you can make right in your slow cooker

Peppermint chocolate fondue recipe

Ingredients:

  • 2 pounds white chocolate chips
  • 1 cup heavy cream
  • 1/4 cup milk
  • 1 teaspoon peppermint extract
  • Pinch of salt
  • 1 cup red candy melts

Instructions:

  1. In a slow cooker, combine white chocolate, heavy cream, milk, peppermint extract and salt.
  2. Cover and melt on high for 30 minutes.
  3. Turn your slow cooker to warm or buffet so the chocolate stays in liquid form but does not burn.
  4. In a separate bowl melt red candy melts in the microwave in 30-second increments, stirring between sessions.
  5. Slowly drizzle the red candy melt over the white chocolate to create a swirl.

Dip to your hearts content. We think brownies and pretzels are especially good with the peppermint fondue.

More: We want to make all of these holiday chocolate bark recipes

Watch the video to learn more about making peppermint fondue.

peppermint fondue

peppermint fondue


Kardashian BFF Malika is dating Ronnie from ‘Jersey Shore’

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For some unknown reason, Kardashian family BFF Malika Haqq is dating Ronnie Magro from The Jersey Shore fame, as TMZ confirms. The gym-obsessed shore-lover posted a shot of himself kissing Haqq on his Instagram yesterday, with the caption, “#Happiness#FamouslySinlgeSeason2ComingSoon #EChannel #March#MakeSureaYouKeepUp #NahItAintSamSoStopAsking.” So. Many. Hashtags.

Malika Haqq and Ronnie Magro

Malika Haqq and Ronnie Magro

We’d never heard of Famously Single before, but after some investigation, it turns out that it’s an E! TV show that features D-list celebs trying to find love. Other illustrious stars previously featured on the show or to appear in season two include Karina Smirnoff, Aubrey O’Day, Brandi Glanville, and fellow Jerseyan Pauly D. Also listed in the season two credits, alongside Magro: Haqq herself. Perhaps Khloé Kardashian’s bestie was set up with Magro for the show, which would make more sense (and makes us all breathe a sigh of relief that she didn’t actually go and seek him out herself.)

Sounds like Famously Single is basically like the Real World, only everyone who moves in together in a big house is slightly famous. That resembles a nightmare we once had, but—hey, the Real World was amazing in its day, so perhaps Famously Single has its charms.

Last week, Magro also posted a photo booth shot of himself with his season two cast members, including Haqq. “#FamouslySingleSaturdays #OurGroupChatsAreAmazingLol#Season2ComingInMarch#ShakeItUpSaturdays #GreatGroupOfLads #SavoryCharacters,” he wrote. We’re not sure if he knows that words can stand alone without hashtags, but—hopefully he’ll read this and figure it out. Also, side note, his Instagram isn’t verified, which could theoretically mean that it’s a fake account, but we have a feeling it just means he hasn’t figured out how to set that up yet either.

In any event, we hope Haqq and Magro have a long and happy life together.

Up next: A KUWTK/Jersey Shore hybrid spinoff, brought to you by TLC.

Bristol Palin is expecting baby number three

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Bristol Palin and Dakota Meyer are expecting their second child together.

More: Raising my second child has been much harder than my first

"We are so excited to announce that our family is expanding!" said the couple in a statement. "God has blessed us so much; we are thankful for His grace and new beginnings. A springtime baby in the Meyer home and we can't wait!"

The new arrival will join the couple's 11-month-old daughter, Sailor Grace, and Palin's 7-year-old son Tripp from her previous relationship with Levi Johnson.

Palin and Meyer married earlier this year after something of a rocky relationship. They announced their engagement in March 2015, but less than two weeks later Palin, 26, wrote on her blog that the engagement was off. The following month, Palin revealed that she was pregnant with her second child, although she didn't confirm Meyer was the father until later.

"Honestly, I've been trying my hardest to keep my chin up on this one," she wrote. "At the end of the day there's nothing I can't do with God by my side, and I know I am fully capable of handling anything that is put in front of me with dignity and grace.

More: Congress passes groundbreaking postpartum depression bill

"I know this has been, and will be, a huge disappointment to my family, to my close friends, and to many of you," she continued. "But please respect Tripp's and my privacy during this time. I do not want any lectures and I do not want any sympathy."

Daughter Sailor Grace was born on Christmas Day, 2015, and both Palin and Meyer shared a picture of the newborn on their social media pages. In March 2016, the parents reached an agreement on joint legal custody, and over the next couple of months they shared their co-parenting journey with followers. On Mother's Day, Meyer praised his ex on Facebook, writing, "Bristol, we definitely haven't always seen eye to eye but one thing that's never been a question is how amazing of a mother you are."

In June, Meyer shared a photo that seemed to say everything about their relationship status.

Dakota Meyer Bristol Palin

Dakota Meyer Bristol Palin

More: Kobe and Vanessa Bryant are now parents of three girls

Savannah Guthrie's new baby name keeps it in the family

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Today anchor Savannah Guthrie welcomed her second child with husband Mike Feldman on Thusday.

More: Mick Jagger becomes a dad — for the eighth time

The arrival of baby boy Charles Max Feldman, little brother to the couple's 2-year-old daughter Vale, was announced on the opening of Friday's Today show. Guthrie's co-anchor Matt Lauer revealed that he had already met the new arrival, describing him as "one cute little boy."

"I was called in to bring wine, so we may have had a little toast," he added.

Guthrie and Feldman opted to find out the sex of their second child to help prepare Vale for her big sister role, and it was revealed on Today with various blue props: blue milkshakes inside Studio 1A and a plane flying an "It's a boy!" banner outside.

Guthrie, 44, was back on Twitter not long after giving birth to her son, who will be known as Charley.

Savannah Guthrie new baby born

Savannah Guthrie new baby born

More: Joyful names for your baby boy

Charles is a traditional baby boy name with French and German roots that continues to appeal to parents. In 2015, it ranked at No. 50 in the U.S. baby name chart — although it's yet to match its popularity in the first half of the 1900s, when it was a firm fixture in the top 10.

Other celebrity parents who've chosen Charles for their sons include Jodie Foster and Russell Crowe. When it comes to notable bearers of the name, the list is endless, from British literary great Charles Dickens to American actor Charles Bronson. It also has an impressive history, from the original Charles the Great, emperor Charlemagne, to numerous royals throughout the years.

For Guthrie and Feldman, however, the inspiration for their baby boy's name is a lot closer to home; Charles was the name of Guthrie's late father and also Feldman's grandfather.

More: This printable guide is about to solve all your baby-naming squabbles

These baby names for girls are so pretty they're fit for a princess

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If you're looking for a sweet baby name for your little girl, these princess baby names — all from works of fiction — may be right up your alley.

Fictional princesses abound in Disney, and we're very familiar with many of them. Ariel, Aurora and Belle are some of the most popular ones from decades past, but with the popularity of some more-modern efforts from the entertainment giant, other names are just as familiar. Anna and Elsa, from Frozen, have enjoyed massive success since the film's release in 2013, and Elsa in particular enjoyed a bump in popularity after its release.

Fictional princesses don't stop with Disney, however. There are tons of other works of fiction, whether the characters are found in fairy tales, animated features, television shows or films. Here are some of our favorite princess baby names inspired by fictional princesses, followed by the work they appear in. Which ones are your favorites?

  • Adora: She-Ra: Princess of Power
  • Amy: The Ordinary Princess
  • Anna: Frozen
  • Ariel: The Little Mermaid
  • Atta: A Bug's Life
  • Aurora: Sleeping Beauty
  • Bala: Antz
  • Belle: Beauty and the Beast
  • Betsy: Betsy Bobbin from Land of Oz
  • Calliope: Princess
  • Camille: Little Nemo: Adventures in Slumberland
  • Daenerys: Daenerys Targaryen from Game of Thrones
  • Dot: A Bug's Life
  • Eilonwy: The Black Cauldron
  • Eliza: The Wild Swans
  • Ella: Ella Enchanted
  • Elsa: Frozen
  • Emeralda: The Frog Princess
  • Fiona: Shrek
  • Giselle: Enchanted
  • Harmony: Xanth
  • Ida: Xanth
  • Irene: The Princess and the Goblin
  • Ivy: Xanth
  • Jasmine: Aladdin
  • Kiara: The Lion King II
  • Leia: Star Wars
  • Luna: My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic
  • Melody: The Little Mermaid II
  • Merida: Brave
  • Mia: The Princess Diaries
  • Millie: The Dragon Princess
  • Mira: Mira Nova from Buzz Lightyear of Star Command
  • Myrcella: Myrcella Baratheon from Game of Thrones
  • Odette: The Swan Princess
  • Oriana: Felix the Cat
  • Phoenix: Curse of the Golden Flower
  • Rapunzel: Tangled
  • Rhythm: Xanth
  • Sofia: Sofia the First
  • Tiana: The Princess and the Frog
  • Tiger Lily: Peter Pan
  • Vespa: Spaceballs

Mining the dictionary for the perfect baby name

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Some of the coolest, quirkiest baby names out there aren't names at all, but simply words. That means the entire dictionary could be your best baby name resource. If that sounds like too much work, start by considering these favorites.

More: This printable guide is about to solve all your baby-naming squabbles

  • Afternoon: Perfect if your favorite time of the day is post-lunch or you just really want a truly unique name for your baby.
  • Angel: A unisex word name for your little package from heaven, former Spice Girl Melanie Brown named her daughter Angel Iris.
  • Answer: If the question is what to call your baby, could this be the, um, answer?
  • Arrow: Part of the attraction of this name, which musician Aja Volkman chose for her daughter Arrow Eve, is the O sound at the end.
  • Blue: One of the most popular color names, Blue got the celebrity seal of approval in 2012 when Beyoncé and Jay Z chose it for their daughter Blue Ivy.
  • Breaker: A baby boy name with a slightly aggressive edge, you could always add "heart" in front of it to soften the blow.
  • Bridge: Bridge could be for a boy or a girl; it's the name of the main female character in "Goodbye Stranger" by Rebecca Stead.
  • Cadence: The musical word name Cadence means "rhythm" or "beat" and has been bestowed on the daughters of rapper Ludacris and model Eudoxie Mbouguiengue, South African cricketer Graeme Smith and drummer Scott Phillips of Creed.
  • Camera: The late tennis great Arthur Ashe was an early champion of word names when he used this for his daughter — his wife was a photographer.
  • Chastity: The most famous bearer of this "virtue" word name, before he changed his name to Chaz Bono, was Chastity Sun Bono, transgender son of Cher and Sonny Bono. Will the character in J.K. Rowlings' Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them inspire a revival?
  • Dancer: If you dream of your future child pirouetting across the stage, this word name could be at the top of your list. Don't forget, however, that it's also the name of one of Father Christmas's reindeer.
  • Dream: A unisex name that's on everyone's radar in 2016 thanks to the birth of Rob Kardashian and Blac Chyna's daughter Dream Renée.
  • Ember: Give Amber a continental twist by replacing the first letter to make the French Ember.
  • Ever: A simple word name that's still packed with meaning, Ever was chosen for the daughters of actor Robert Carradine, Milla Jovovich and Paul Anderson.
  • Free: A word name that evokes the swinging '60s.
  • Grove: Not to be confused with the lovable blue Monster on Sesame Street, Grove is a unisex word name inspired by nature.
  • Holiday: Holiday is a word name with plenty of pop-culture references: It's the full name of Breakfast at Tiffany's Holly Golightly, a song by Madonna and the name of British actress Holliday Grainger.
  • Hunter: This occupational word name was No. 41 for boys in 2015, but trailing behind at No. 786 for girls.
  • Justice: Another "virtue" word name popular for both boys and girls, Justice avoids the religious implications of Faith or Grace.
  • Karma: The Hindi "karma" is the theory that positive action results in positive consequences elsewhere in your life and vice versa. American rappers Flavor Flav and Ludacris both named their kids Karma.
  • King: Forget about naming your baby after a royal and go straight for the top title.
  • Lark: Unisex Lark is a songbird, an actor from Saved by the Bell and the middle name of Jennifer Connelly and Paul Bettany's daughter Agnes.
  • Love: Love may make the world go round, but it might be better as a middle name, à la Jennifer Love Hewitt?
  • Lucky: If you want your child to live a fortunate life, you could always give them a constant reminder by calling them Lucky.
  • Lyric: A Greek name meaning "lyre," Lyric could be ideal for musically minded parents.
  • Maverick: Despite meaning "nonconformist," Maverick is quickly on its way to the top of the baby boy name chart — it reached No. 184 in 2015.
  • Miller: Another occupational name (a miller is a "grinder of grain"), this is rare as a first name, but the seventh most common surname in the United States.
  • Moon: Short and simple, Moon is one of the original crazy celebrity baby names thanks to Frank Zappa's daughter Moon Unit.
  • Oak: If you want a baby name that's solid and strong, you can't go wrong with the mighty oak.
  • Pace: The no-fuss Pace is a unisex word name with an upbeat vibe.
  • Paisley: Paisley is a multi-layered Scottish word name, meaning "church" or "cemetery." It's also the name of a town in southwest Scotland and the richly patterned Indian fabric.
  • Parrish: Another word name with religious connotations, Parrish is the first name of American rapper PMD.
  • Pike: An animal name (a pike is a carnivorous fish) that just about gets away with being a baby name, Pike is also the surname of explorer Zebulon Pike, who discovered and gave his name to Pike's Peak, the highest summit of the southern Front Range of the Rocky Mountains of North America.
  • Prairie: If you're fond of wide-open spaces, you might consider Prairie for your baby boy or girl.
  • Ranger: Originally a French word meaning "forest guardian," Ranger is one of the most popular occupational names for boys in recent years.
  • Rebel: Comedian Wilson aside, Rebel might not be the best baby name choice if you want your kid to behave.
  • Sailor: Arguably, model Christie Brinkley pioneered the occupational baby name trend way back in 1998 when she chose this name for her daughter.
  • Secret: You won't find a baby girl name more mysterious than Secret, which is the name late artist Dash Snow gave his daughter (full name Secret Midnight Magic Nico Snow) in 2007.
  • Seven: If you want a number name for your kid, Seven is probably the most admissible, and it got a boost after David and Victoria Beckham chose it as a middle name for their daughter Harper in 2011.
  • Shade: Shade has a pretty sound, but a double meaning.
  • Snow: This word name definitely feels fresh and pure, however you feel about the icy stuff.
  • Sonnet: Meaning "little song" In English (derived from the Italian "sonetto"), you'd be hard-pressed to find a more poetic name. Actor Forest Whitaker chose it for his daughter in 1996.
  • Story: A new entry on the word baby name scene (although not in the Social Security list), Story might be popular for children of writers. Soleil Moon Frye named her second baby boy Story and actress Jenna Elfman called her son Story Elias.
  • Timber: Another nature name that might appeal to truly avant-garde parents.
  • True: Word name lover Forest Whitaker followed Sonnet with True for his second daughter in 1998.
  • Whimsy: An offbeat addition to the word name family, Whimsy has a certain charm.
  • Wild: You may be asking for trouble if you give your baby this word name — but if you have a rebellious streak yourself, it could tick all the boxes.

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Carlos and Alexa PenaVega are now parents

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Carlos and Alexa PenaVega welcomed their first child, a baby boy, on Wednesday.

More: Mining the dictionary for the perfect baby name

Mom Alexa posted a black-and-white picture of herself with her newborn son, Ocean King PenaVega, on Instagram.

Alexa PenaVega baby pic

Alexa PenaVega baby pic

The Spy Kids actress, 28, and former Big Time Rush member, 27, married in January 2014 and announced on social media that they were expecting their first child this past June. They also revealed that pregnancy didn't happen as quickly as they'd expected.

"I thought for sure it’d be like, 'One, two, three, wham, bam, we’re pregnant,'" Carlos said in a YouTube video. "But no, that’s not the case. You gotta keep trying, trying, trying... and try some more. Which is not a bad thing."

"When it doesn’t happen, you think, 'Is something wrong with me?' or 'What am I not doing right?' when really it’s just your body adjusting," added Alexa.

More: This printable guide is about to solve all your baby-naming squabbles

Neither the sex nor the name of the baby will come as a surprise to fans, as the couple announced both back in August.

Ocean is one of the most popular nature names favored by modern parents, but for Carlos and Alexa, it has a deeper meaning. "God called the dry ground 'land' and the water the 'seas,'" Alexa wrote on Instagram alongside a sonograph picture. "And God saw that it was good."

"He is a son of the one true 'King'," she continued. "For us it has a beautiful biblical meaning."

Ocean King PenaVega scan pic

Ocean King PenaVega scan pic

Another celebrity parent who chose the name is actor Forest Whitaker, who named his son Ocean Alexander in 1990.

More: Savannah Guthrie's new baby name keeps it in the family

We almost didn't survive our first year as a stepfamily

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The first year of our marriage was wildly, ridiculously hard. Like, “when is this going to end I am not sure I can take another second of it” hard. Like, lie awake at night figuring out the easiest way to get out of this mess hard. Running away crossed my mind more than once.

Even after all our preparation, my husband Gabe and I had no idea what we were getting into when we married that spring, but hope believes all things. We spend the first two months of our marriage living separately because we couldn’t get the timing right on house sales and moves and cohabitation clauses. We had a family sleepover or two for our six children and waited. We were married, but it didn’t seem real.

More: The Brady Brunch helped my blended family more than counseling did

Move day walloped us. For some reason, we thought it would be a great idea to move both households in on the same day. That meant two full trucks unloading, six kids underfoot, and all the emotions of the move sloshing around for everyone. So. Much. Stuff. Summer arrived before we’d gotten half the boxes unpacked.

We took our first family vacation to the beach. It was a terrific success. This six kid blended family thing was going to be, as Gabe had promised, easy-peasy. The day after we got home, I opened the door to a sheriff serving Gabriel papers in a legal dispute. Two weeks later, our dog, a nervous shelter rescue, attacked our new neighbors' beloved lap puppy. Two weeks after that, Gabe was unexpectedly laid off. The following week, I was laid off. We were still unpacking, starting school, adjusting to our new life together. We were overwhelmed by the day-to-day work of our life together, and drowning under the weight of the additional legal and professional issues we faced.

More: Doing a sibling secret santa exchange brings our blended family closer together

That fall passed in a blur. We had to put our dog down and the kids were devastated. We worried about money. Our six-kid life swirled around us — activities, forgotten homework, bedtime stories. We were also navigating the formation of our family: Who parented when, what each child needed, what mattered to all of us or just some. It was incredibly difficult. We began to unravel.

We were shocked to find ourselves fighting. Not politely disagreeing, really fighting. And not once or twice that first year, but often regularly, even. We spent Halloween weekend barely speaking, which was quite a feat given that weekend included trick or treating, three parties, and a dozen hot dogs made to look like mummies.

How could this first year of marriage be worse than the last year of my marriage before my divorce?

Maybe I had made a terrible mistake. This couldn’t be the right thing for the two of us or for our children if it felt so hard. If being together was right, it should be easier than this.

And there it is. The lie. The “should.”  When I could quiet my anxious mind and really pay attention, I realized that “should” was driving the bus. This should be easier. We should be talking more. We should be calmer when we interact. Should, should, should. I started to shift my focus from what I thought should be to what was actually happening.

What was happening is that each of the adults in our house were adjusting to a marriage and living together. We were also adjusting to three new kids in the house. We were still figuring out how this house creaks and sighs in the night and how many showers we can take before we run out of hot water. We missed our dog. We left all our comforts of home behind, added a bunch of new people who were also feeling out-of-place, and mixed well. This situation felt hard and all-consuming because it was hard and all-consuming.

That realization that this new life felt difficult because it was difficult, not because it was wrong helped. Not immediately, and not in a Magic Eraser on a smudged wall kind of way, but it helped. Removing the “should,” eliminating my reaction, and focusing on what was happening and what I needed to keep going made things easier.

More: I didn’t baptize my kids because I want them to find their own faith

The year marched on. We survived the holidays by removing most of the pomp and circumstance (no one noticed). Early in the new year, Gabe’s legal issues resolved successfully. Our new puppy potty trained. We still fought, but found a counselor and started seeing her every other week. We planted a garden. Gabe landed a job that he was excited about and went back to work. And then it was spring, and it had been a year.

We celebrated our family-versary by having brunch at our wedding site and taking the tribe bowling. Truthfully, I didn’t feel much like celebrating. I felt busted up and exhausted. That celebration was exactly what I needed. I watched our children talk and laugh about the wedding, how nervous they were and the fun they'd had. I watched them talking comfortably at brunch and nearly all order the same thing.  I saw them play together easily, enjoying each other's company.

I saw our tribe one year later, with relaxed shoulders and real smiles and easy interaction. I saw the new life delivered by the hard, messy work of our first year, and restored my hope.

Kate Chapman blogs about her blended family life at www.thislifeinprogess.com


Being a mean girl is setting the wrong example for my kids

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I am about to be brutally honest about something I absolutely do not like owning up to.

I am a mean person.

It's not something I ever wanted to be, and certainly never strived to be mean, but I am. I am a mean girl.

More: I'm not being mean by not liking pictures of kids on Facebook

The day I first really came to recognize that my spirit wasn't just daisies and butterflies was about two weeks into cosmetology school. My classmates and I were walking down the hall of our little community college like we owned the place because we were majoring in a field that would place us on a more sophisticated level than the others who attended. We really thought that actually mattered. We talked amongst ourselves about the lowly art majors and restaurant management course attendees who were dressed for class and not to impress us cosmo girls. And we sat and talked about people for our entire lunch break as if our opinions mattered. And just as we were preparing to clock back in for class, one of the girls said something that has always stuck with me: "Wow, when did I become so mean?" She walked off not realizing what she had said had opened my eyes and shown me that I was a fellow mean girl.

How could this happen? How could sweet little me who always tried to please everyone actually be this horrible person who talks about people in such a mean spirit? I was pretty bummed out for the rest of the day. But I was younger then and things like that left minimal impressions at the time, so I was quick to rejoin my clique of fellow mean ones.

Looking back I can see so many instances when I could have simply not said anything at all and still kept friends without being mean. I didn't have to join in the talking and pointing out other people's flaws (or what we deemed as flaws), but I did. I was mean. And I am sad to say that I still am.

More: Bullying at work is just as toxic as in the school yard

But now that I have kids and have to be responsible, I have to really start working to be a better version of myself. The truth is, I think it's so easy to be mean, to laugh and point – especially in the safety of a group of friends. But why? Why couldn't we just talk about positive things that would make us happy, and not at the expense of someone else? Even though the targets of our lunch break conversations never knew who we were or what we said, it was still awful. We were still wrong. And every time I join in a conversation about anyone in a non-positive way, I'm allowing my mean spirit to grow just a little stronger. And I don't want that! I want to be kind and loving person! I want my kids to see me as a role model for a sweet spirit, and to encourage them to only be good and kind people themselves.

If it hadn't been for my classmate's realization that she had become a mean person, I may never have recognized what a problem I was creating for myself. I don't think anyone really wants to be a wretched person. But if we don't see ourselves for what we are becoming, then how can we ever expect to do better? I want to be better. I don't want to be a mean girl anymore. And that means not allowing myself to "vent" about people to other people. That means not talking about other's shortcomings because what right do I have to do that? I'm resolving to be the best version of myself that I can be. And the person I want to be is not mean!

Originally published on BlogHer

More: I was my own worst body shaming bully

I let my kids help us on Christmas Eve to teach them the truth about Santa

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I'm so glad I finally had "The Talk" with my kids. No I don't mean the sex talk. We've had that a couple of times – and will continue to have it. No, I'm talking about "The Santa Talk."

More: Doing a sibling secret santa exchange brings our blended family closer together

Overall it went well, it was actually quite a magical experience for us and the older two kids. My oldest was questioning this year. Some of her friends said they wanted to believe, but sort of didn't. She's in middle school now, and some of the adults in the lunch room even talked about parents being Santa.

Thus far I've reassured her with the words, "Do you believe? That is all that matters."

I think our son could've gone another year. He was on the fence, but less than his older sister.

I have certain issues with Santa anyway. He has never taken center stage at our house. He only brings one thing and the focus is family centered, not Santa centered. Christmas morning there isn't even much talk about what Santa has brought. But he is there. I do appreciate the wonder and magic created by this person, but not the web of lies sometimes. All these lies are for the purpose of creating magic and wonder, and yes, when they are little you don't even really talk about it, so there isn't really guilt about lying. But as they get older, you're flat out lying as they ask questions and are trying to put the puzzle together! It's crazy sometimes!

Image: Carolyn McAfee

Santa, to me, is the spirit of giving, the magic and wonder of something bigger than ourselves. He is something that unifies, a tradition that spans the globe in some form or another. He is goodness in that way.

So, I teetered, do we tell them, do we let them just find out? What do you do?

Both my husband Matt and I just found out, stopped believing, and there you have it – you go on with life. Totally anti-climactic after a childhood of believing. It is quite the bummer, actually. There is such magic, and then it all just fades and ends.

This is where our decision to tell them came in. We wanted to be the ones to tell them about this tradition, why it's fun and important, why we have made all of the sneaky choices we have. Maybe by telling them we can keep the magic alive, and pass the torch of belief and magic to them.

I decided to tell the kids on Christmas Eve because it would be a great opportunity for them to experience the magic for themselves –the magic of giving – of being Santa.

More: Jam-filled puff pastries look like edible Christmas gifts

After we put everyone to bed, and the two little boys were asleep I got the big kids out of bed and asked them to come downstairs. I said we wanted to share something with them about Santa. I prefaced it with them being given the privilege of knowing more as they get older, having a greater understanding of things, and how there is a certain responsibility to carry, as we know more about Santa, to keep the spirit of what he is alive.

That means we believe. We believe when the little kids in our home ask us about Santa, and when our friends at school as us –we believe and keep the magic alive!

Matt asked if they knew what we were saying, and then we told them we are Santa. Quinlyn caught on, but because Garrison was still teetering he needed the flat out, "He's us" explanation. Then we told them we thought it would be fun for them to help us

They loved this. We hauled all of the gifts in and they put them all under the tree, with the exception of a few big gifts we didn't put out until they were sleeping. They filled the stockings and helped us get everything ready. They loved it!

Image: Carolyn McAfee

It really was magical and I got choked up a bit. I had shared with them that the magic for both Matt and I came alive when we had them, and how wonderful and magical it is to give and see such awe, excitement, and happiness in our little kids that are now so big. We told them to watch for that in their little brothers, and notice how fun it is.

We could feel their excitement as they got our house ready for Christmas morning. They felt the spirit of Christmas and the Spirit of Santa. I loved it and would do it that way again a million times.

I just wish the sex talk was this easy and magical

Originally published on BlogHer

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Pink gives mommy shamers exactly what they deserve

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Internet trolls, you've shamed the wrong mommy.

More: My friend's baby hashtags are so annoying

Singer Pink, who is mom to 5-year-old daughter Willow Sage and expecting her second child with husband Carey Hart, revealed just how little she gives a damn about ridiculous comments on her social media pages.

It started when Pink posted a photo of herself sitting on the floor of her kitchen on Instagram. Any heavily pregnant woman will relate to to need to take advantage of all resting opportunities, right?

Pink mommy shamers

Pink mommy shamers

However, the comments section on the picture was quickly filled with advice from those who clearly think they are parenting experts.

"Don't use microwaves!" barked one, and many others criticized the singer for sitting in front of the microwave while pregnant.

Other commenters slammed Pink for drinking coffee during pregnancy — and the fact that it was decaf made no difference. "Three doctors told me coffee is coffee, decaf or not…" wrote one. "Feeding addictive stimulants to an unborn baby. Well, that’s your choice... I just stayed away from anything that may disturb my baby’s growth."

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Rather than rise to the criticism, Pink found the whole fuss amusing. She tweeted an article about the shaming on Wednesday and poked fun at the shakers herself by writing, "Enjoy over a cup of coffee."

She followed this up with another tweet, calling herself a "mommy shamer shamer."

Pink mommy shaming tweet

Pink mommy shaming tweet

Hey, if anyone does deserve to be shamed, it's a shamer.

Thankfully, not all internet users are so sanctimonious. Several people defended Pink, with one of her supporters summing the situation up perfectly: "Mom shamers are a whole other breed of assholes."

More: Moms who shame Chrissy Teigen are seriously missing the point

For the record, nothing Pink was doing in her Instagram picture is harming her unborn child. According to the American Congress of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists, moderate caffeine consumption (less than 200 mg per day) does not appear to be a major contributing factor in miscarriage or preterm birth. Pink would have to drink 100 cups of decaf coffee per day before she reached this recommended safe limit. And unless she spends long periods with her baby bump pressed up against the microwave, it's highly unlikely that her baby will suffer from exposure to radiation.

After my divorce, I had to learn to love my plan B

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I didn't plan to get divorced. I certainly didn't plan to end up a stepmother. Let's face it, neither of those gigs are anyone's first choice.

I had planned to follow a traditional path love, marriage, baby carriage. I had planned to live my life as Billy's wife (#freepoem). We got married young, built our careers and raised our babies. We were right on track, except that it turned out that where I was wasn't where I belonged.

Let's agree, right here at the beginning, that good marriages don't end in divorce. My marriage to Billy ended because it didn't serve us any longer, and we were better apart than we were together. Our divorce was the right choice for our family, and I have no regrets. That said, the end of my marriage hit me hard.

More: Yes, there really is a wrong way to ask for a divorce

Billy and I were best friends, and our separation was terribly sad. The grief was palpable, and the loneliness overwhelming. It felt surreal to go through something this big and not share it with Billy, as I had every other significant milestone up to that point. Losing Billy felt like losing chapters from my own story, like part of me died.

On the days when the loneliness didn't cripple me, the feeling of failure did. I'd chosen Billy at 23 and he was my lobster (90's Friends shout out, except not really). I'd made a vow. Rules are important to me I'm a firstborn. I put shopping carts neatly away in corrals, dutifully detail my charitable donations, and show up the way I said I would. Loving Billy was a choice I made daily for years.

I'd watched this happen to other people in my life before and quickly determined that their marriages ended because they weren't serious about their vows, didn't try hard enough, weren't strong enough, didn't love enough. It took walking this path myself to realize how wrong I was. It turns out that when standing at the altar, almost everyone believes the vows she's reciting. Divorce happens because that marriage isn't the right place for those two people it is simply not where those two people belong. And I now understand that they come to that conclusion with every ounce of pain and sadness that Billy and I endured.

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The third horseman in this marriage-ending feeling apocalypse was guilt. Guilt for putting my feelings first, for robbing my children of an intact, traditional family. Guilt about giving up on Billy. Guilt about asking our extended families to shift and adjust and transition to a new normal. The guilt was so heavy I sometimes couldn't breathe under its weight.

Some days, I am still surprised that the grief and failure and guilt didn't make me turn back, denying what I knew to be true and taking a less painful path. I wanted so much for the plan I made with Billy to be the life I lived. I desperately wanted my first choice to work.

My current partner, Gabe, and this life we live together were my second choice. A second choice that isn't the stuff of Christmas coffee commercials and story books. A second choice that involves a huge extended tribe and is sometimes overwhelming, both in terms of laundry and emotional baggage. A second choice that doesn't fit neatly onto a kid's emergency contact form or future wedding invitation.

More: My minister husband had a second family I didn't know about

Nevertheless, I have learned to love this second choice. I made this second choice carefully, remembering my scars and honoring the lessons of my first marriage. I made it thoughtfully, because this marriage nurtures my spirit and supports the best version of me, allowing me to be the best mother, wife, friend I can be. But mostly, I made it joyfully, because despite the complexities and stigma of divorce and stepfamily life, I would not trade this noisy life-in-progress for any other. This second choice is where I belong.

Kate is a blogger at ThisLifeInProgress.com.

My son and I were rejected from our Mommy & Me class

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I signed up early for Mommy & Me because there was a petting zoo being the classroom. My eighteen-month-old son would get to pet the goats and feed the bunnies. After staying home for a year with a three-year-old daughter and a baby boy, I was eager to make mommy friends, set up toddler play dates, and have a new social circle. But there were two things I failed to consider: One, my son had ADHD, Hyperactive-Impulsive type, I just didn’t know it yet, and two, other mothers would judge me.

My son ran around. A lot. He crashed into other kids. He grabbed. He pushed. He was smart and funny but also physical. When activities were too loud, he cried. He was eighteen months old, what to do? Friends said, he’s a boy. I shouldn’t expect him to be like his sister. As a new mom, I wondered if something was wrong but he was just a baby. My baby.

More: My son had to be restrained at school for his violent behavior

Each week, we went to Mommy & Me. Each week, the sage-like teacher ignored me. Each week, moms went out for lunch after class. Each week, my son and I weren’t invited. Eventually the teacher told me the class wasn’t a “good fit.” I sat in my minivan and cried.

This scenario repeated itself through elementary school. My guy loved other kids but sat too close, talked too loudly, ran around too often. At the soccer field, the coach said kick but he stormed off because he didn’t get the ball. In first grade, his teacher said, “I’ve never had a kid like this.” That was the message I got from the school despite years of requesting an Individualized Education Plan (IEP).

When the doctor eventually diagnosed my son with severe ADHD, I cried. It felt like it meant: Avoid/Harangue/Don’t-Invite. There were two major shifts I had to make before I came out the other end as an ADHD warrior, advocate and spiritual seeker.

The first was letting go of the dream of who my son would be. He would not be quiet or rules-oriented or easygoing. He would be bright, funny, and have a huge heart. He would often be misunderstood. That hurt the most. For him and me.

More: A letter to my children's new stepmom

I also let go of my “ideal mom” fantasy of myself. Severe ADHD was not part of my fantasy. Nor were other mothers giving me the stink eye at class parties, on the field, or in the grocery store. In the fantasy, I was adept at child-rearing and proud of it. In reality, I was adept at child-rearing. I just never felt like it. I felt like a failure. And other mothers reinforced that notion. It’s as if raising kids was a competitive sport and a mom with a kid with ADHD was an easy knock-out.

I try to remind myself: You are doing the best you can. Repeat. You are doing the best you can. Some days are easier than others. Some kids are easier than others. You are an excellent mother. Your child’s temperament/listening skills are not a judgment of you as a mom. Parenting a struggling child is the advanced track. Congratulations on acceptance into the advanced parenting class. The class may be harder but the rewards are immense.

But I think back to that Mommy & Me class and remember what it felt like. Here's the truth: If you see a mom with a kid having a hard time, wry comments are welcome. Things like: ’isn’t raising kids a blast? ’or ‘do you need a hug or glass of wine?’ are good. A pat on the back is nice. Pretending you don’t even notice works, too. Please don’t: say to your child, ‘Yes, that boy is being naughty,’or turn to your friend and say, ‘At least I work hard with my kids,’ or narrow your eyes at the mother as if to say ‘a good mother can control her child.’

As parents, we cannot control our children. We do our best to nurture, love, and cajole but we cannot train them like dogs.

More: Sometimes there is a good reason to let your kid swear

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