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Parental Advisory: My friend's son is rude — can I say something?

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Welcome back to Parental Advisory, where I answer all of your social media and IRL parenting etiquette questions. This week, we're talking about kids who say the darndest things.

Question:

My husband and I were recently at a friend's house who has a 5 year old son who doesn't get a lot of discipline (a cage-free child, as it were) and as a result, the kid is an absolute terror. We put up with him for the sake of our friend, but last week as we were leaving he said something incredibly rude to me. We were left speechless and we turned around to look at his mother for some support, but all we got was a shrug and a smile. When something like this happens, what's the best course of action? Do we say something to the child? Do we insist the parent speak to him? Call an old priest and a young priest to conduct an exorcism?
— B.

Answer: 

In general, the things that come out of kids' mouths — especially around the age of 5 — are often "incredibly rude." Children are known for being a little too honest, and if you don't spend much time with them, it can be jarring to hear what they're comfortable saying (and what their parents are willing to tolerate). Anyone who's overheard a sassy child talking at a family dinner table in a restaurant knows what I mean.
That being said, kids don't tend to be exclusively rude to any type of person. Instead, they exhibit an "equal-opportunity" approach when slinging insults, usually innocently, and most kids grow out of the behavior as they engage with the world around them. It's the job of adults, especially parents and teachers, to guide kids toward more compassionate and restrained ways of thinking and speaking. Unfortunately, though, that doesn't always happen.
From that angle, I would say depending on the context of the rude remark, if the parent wasn't willing to say something to her child in front of you, it wouldn't be a bad idea to say something, either to the child in the moment or to the mother after the fact. Jessica Lahey, a middle school teacher and author of the book The Gift of Failure, suggests speaking to the child the way a teacher might by saying something like, "That really hurt my feelings. I would not talk to you that way, and I wish you would not talk to me that way." Of course, given that this happened as you were walking out the door, it might not have been the best time to have a "teachable moment" with a "cage-free" kid, so in this scenario, I would advise to either let it go and assume kids will be kids or speak to the mother about it separately. SheKnows editor and parent Alice Bradley proposes doing this by saying, "You know, that statement was hurtful/offensive, and you’re doing your kid a disservice by not calling him out on it." She points out that "it might cost you the friendship. But then you’d be spared having to hang out with that kid, so..." And hey, she's right!
We all want to believe that offensive statements made by kids aren't reflections of the child's true nature or a result of bad parenting. But if we're being socially responsible, we have to consider the context of a child's rude remarks and their possible origins. Kids are curious and opinionated, but there's a difference between a 5-year-old making a casual (if rude) observation about someone's appearance versus a 5-year-old saying, "I hate you and hope you die." If the comment has a hateful undertone and gives you flashbacks from The Bad Seed, you might have a moral obligation to let the parent know you're concerned.
girl from "The Bad Seed" shouting
Image: Tumblr

But even if the statement was about something more typical, like your weight, I believe your friend missed an opportunity to display good behavior by telling her son that what he said wasn't OK and why. Shrugging and smiling is a flimsy cop-out, so unless she had a valid reason to wait to address him after you left (and she may have), she should have handled the situation differently. I think half of what you're saying is that you were shocked that your friend's kid would say something so offensive, but the other half is that you don't know how she dealt with it, and that's worrisome. It makes you question her whole parenting style and who's running the show. It makes you wonder if she said anything to him about it at all and the impact that could have on others. This is why it's best to speak to her directly if what he said was atypical or came across as hateful, rather than shockingly honest but within the realm of kid-speak. Five-year-olds are sponges, and what they soak up may be detrimental to how they treat others. Based on your description, it sounds like there's not a lot of discipline in this kid's life right at the time that he may need it the most.

In today's heated and potentially dangerous political climate, now is the time for all of us to recognize that parents are our only hope for "raising the change." If parents aren't doing their jobs and teaching their kids how to behave, that could translate to children thinking they can say whatever they want to peers, teachers and other members of the community. As Jessica Lahey said, "It's important that we model civil, kind behavior for kids and that we also model self-advocacy. We must teach kids that they can speak up for themselves when people are not civil to them." Sure, it's always a good idea to teach kids to choose their battles, but it's equally necessary that we explain to kids the significance of their words and actions.
Helen Kruskamp, a North Carolina mom of a 5-year-old and school guidance counselor, points out that kids' insults could actually be good jumping-off points for discussion. She writes, "Maybe encourage the child to ask their question/express their opinion more politely. 'This asparagus you made is disgusting and tastes like poop' could be coached into 'asparagus isn't my favorite.' Or 'I didn't know women had mustaches' could be a nice jumping-off point for a conversation about differences making us unique, or a chance to start teaching empathy by saying, 'I'm insecure about that. Do you know what insecure means?'"
Ultimately, it's your friend's responsibility to parent her child, and she should have said something to him and/or apologized to you for his "quirky" comment. But it's OK to take the reins where parents occasionally drop them because your feelings are valid. With reports of bullying in schools on the rise at all age levels, it's crucial that we educate kids on right and wrong and explain why our differences make us special. It's also crucial that parents step up their games and effectively discipline their offspring. Just because a below-the-belt insult came from a kid doesn't mean we have to shrug and smile and forget it ever happened.
Do YOU have a question about parents on social media? Send whatever is on your mind to stfuparentsblog AT gmail.com!

A new startup offers comfort food for a cause

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While abroad on a humanitarian trip, Avery Harris came up with the idea for the SAvery Grilled Cheese Food Truck with the dual mission of fighting modern day slavery and providing people with delicious comfort food. With every SAvery meal purchased, the company donates 10 percent to organizations fighting for freedom worldwide.

Name: Avery Harris

Company: SAvery

Headquarters: Austin, Texas

Year founded: 2015

Twitter: @cheesin4areason

Facebook: Saverygrilledcheese

Instagram: @saverygrilledcheese

Website: www.saverygrilledcheese.com/

Want to sign up for the Pitch, or know someone who would be a great candidate? Email us today at thepitch@sheknows.com!

A letter to my children's new stepmom

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To my kid's new stepmom:

I am writing to you in all honesty and truth, so that we can move forward in the relationships we have with my children. I want you to know that I do not hate you, I do not dislike you and I am not jealous of you. Having been divorced a few years, there are no strings I am left standing here clinging to. When the choice was made for the marriage to end, that was it for me. I accepted it for what it was and emotionally moved on. I am not one to act out of stifled maturity, not wanting to meet you, hating you, refusing my children to be around you or pretending that you don't exist. I have given my children permission from day one to build a relationship with you, even love you.

Really, it's okay.

I know I'm their mom, and I know I'm a damn good one. You've probably guessed that by how easy they are to raise and how respectful they are of you and their father. And that's exactly the way I want it. I do not feel as though you'll "replace" me in their hearts or lives, because I'm a grown woman and able to behave as such. I am secure in my children's love and devotion to me, so I will never engage in competition with you.

More: Nobody told me about these side effects of postpartum recovery

I thank you. Thank you for your kindness to them. Thank you for accepting them into your heart and into your life and new home. If there's one thing I can empathize with, it's how difficult it would be to be a stepparent when a biological parent exists only to create discord. That would never be my desire for you or for my children.

More: Stop assuming it's my fault that I have a fussy baby

I am happy that we have built a kind relationship on our shared values that has put the children first. I thank you for praying when my grandmother was dying. I thank you for easy text conversations devoid of weirdness. I'm grateful that the way we have treated each other could be an example for anyone who finds themselves in a family with stepchildren.

More: Sometimes there is a good reason to let your kid swear

It is my opinion that it is up to the biological parent to be open, mature and emotionally adult enough to reach out in kindness to a potential or new stepparent. To give them a chance to grow a relationship with the children and allow children to see that, for their own benefit. As a result, my children speak freely of you in our home, free of condemnation.

We may never be considered "friends" because of the nature of our relationship. But we are comrades in the lives of these two wonderful little people that I willingly share with you. It is my goal to always keep communication as open and easy as it has been over the past couple of years, because it has been good for their developing hearts and souls. It's not easy to be a stepparent, I know. I've been there. So it is my vow that I will never treat you the way that I have been treated in the past. What good does that do anyone, most especially children? You, as another parent in my children's lives, deserve better than that, and so do they. I'm glad we did this right.

Onward in life, 

Cyndi

This post was originally published on BlogHer.

More women than you think struggle with low libido

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Libido isn’t a glamorous topic. Even the word itself sounds clinical and unsexy—especially when it comes after “low.” A stunted sex drive is something many of us associate with long-term marriage, aging, or certain prescription drugs like antidepressants, but the truth is that it affects far more women—and at younger ages—than you might realize. In a new survey of 2,501 women ages 21 through 49, a full 48 percent reported a declining sex drive, according to the American Sexual Health Association.

The findings also hint at the fact that many women don’t do much to address a flagging sex drive, even though it has a negative effect on their lives. 93 percent of those surveyed believe low libido can put a strain on relationships, and 46 percent believe it’s already putting theirs at risk. Possibly even worse, 81 percent of women in relationships say they’ll have sex with their partner even if they’re not in the mood.

More: Car Sex is a Thing, According to a New Survey

Bummer, right? But also, maybe, sometimes, just a fact of life? If you’re telling yourself that, you’re not alone. Sixty-seven percent of women feel that low sexual desire in women isn’t taken seriously as a problem, and 77 percent think there needs to be a more open, honest discussion of the topic in our culture and media. In other words, women probably don’t feel especially comfortable or excited about telling people or looking for a solution. Eighty-six percent of those polled weren’t even aware that treatments for low libido exist.

If you’re facing this issue, you don’t have to resign yourself to a low sex-driven fate. Sure, you can’t always be perfectly in sync and in the mood whenever your S.O. is—and vice versa! But if your sex life has fallen into a pattern of get ‘er done, roll over, rinse, and repeat, you don’t have to settle for that.

Here are a few strategies, straight from sex therapists, to help you pinpoint what could be at the root of your “meh” attitude in bed. And if those don’t work, you could always try reaching out to your healthcare provider or these sex drive-amping tips from our porn star columnist, Jessica Drake. Either way, know that if sex is something you’d like to lust after, and enjoy when you have it, you have options, and don’t have to dwell forever in the land of, “Hey babe, are you almost done?”

More: 20 Sexy Pairs of Undies That Keep Your Lady Parts Healthy

Originally posted on StyleCaster.com

A few small tweaks that make your Thanksgiving dinner a little kinder to your body

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The spread of dishes on Thanksgiving is impressive. Turkey, stuffing, gravy, pies, potatoes, bread rolls all crowding the table with plenty of opportunity for seconds (or thirds!) We believe that sometimes, you just have to indulge a little while being mindful of portions. However, if you are looking for the healthiest possible way to approach T-Day, check out these three easy swaps.

Swap mashed potatoes for sweet potato casserole

A bowl of traditional mashed potatoes serving 8 people typically contains 2 lbs of butter and 2 cups of buttermilk. That means each person is eating ½ stick of butter plus ½ a cup of buttermilk in addition to the actual potatoes.

More: How to cook Thanksgiving dinner for just the two of you

The casserole on the other hand uses beta-carotene and fiber rich sweet potatoes. A typical recipe serves 8 people and only uses 4 Tbsp. butter and ½ cup milk. Plus, the fiber in sweet potato will help keep the cravings down later in the evening. A casserole DOES typically use brown sugar, but it ends up being only around ½ Tbsp. per person. The topping may have extra sugar or butter, depending on the recipe, but you can just scoop from the bottom of the pan to get less of the sugary topping.

Swap cranberry sauce for gravy

Both of these iconic Thanksgiving sauces taste ah-maze when drizzled on slices of turkey or poured over roasted veggies. Although cranberry sauce seems like the healthier choice, gravy actually might pull ahead on this one. Cranberry sauce uses large amounts of sugar to create the consistency. Because of that, it comes in at about 100 calories and 22 grams of sugar per ¼ cup serving. Turkey gravy, on the other hand, has about 30 calories and 3g of sugar per ¼ cup serving. Plus, it gets the majority of flavor from herbs and onions instead of sugar.

More: How to fund Thanksgiving dinner when you're paying off your student loans

Swap pecan pie for pumpkin pie

The dessert table is always packed with various sweets, but there are definitely better-for-your-bod options. Both traditional pumpkin and pecan pie contain high amounts of sugar. A typical recipe for pecan pie uses corn syrup and cane sugar as it’s base while pumpkin pie uses sweetened condensed milk. However, on average, pecan pie will contain 10 grams of extra sugar per slice. If you’re craving both of these tasty treats, try out our good for your bod pecan pie and pumpkin pie recipes.

Happy Thanksgiving!

More: How to survive Thanksgiving with a picky eater

Karena Dawn and Katrina Scott are certified personal trainers and nutritional coaches. Want info on how to give your body what it needs all year long!? Check out our Tone It Up Nutrition Plan! As a member, you gain access to thousands of deee-lish recipes to help you reach your fitness goals.

10 best drugstore face lotions under $10

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Pray tell: What did you do with your last pair of money bags and stack of gold coins? Oh, wait, you mean you don’t have an endless supply of cash to spend on anything and everything in the world? You mean you can’t afford a $200 diamond dust-infused lotion that was hand-bottled by a Russian czar’s grandmother? WEIRD. Neither can we. Nor do we really want to, considering the fact that for just a few dollars, you can buy a cheap drugstore face lotion that’s easily just as good—if not way better—than its high-end counterpart. No, seriously.

More: The 20 Best Holiday Hairstyles to Try ASAP

Best drug store skin cream
Image: Imaxtree

Turns out, your skin doesn’t really need a shit ton on Peruvian crystals and unicorn tears to look good and stay moisturized. All it really needs is some rich hydrators (oh, hai, hyaluronic acid), maybe some acne-fighters, a hefty dose of SPF, and, well, that’s it. And trust us when we say that none of those basic ingredients need to cost more than $10.

So we rounded up the ten best drugstore face lotions that address pretty much every skin type and concern, so you can feel confident that your dolla dolla bills aren’t going to waste. And then maybe, just maybe, with this cheap drugstore swap, you’ll save enough money to start your own money bag. That’s the dream, right?

More: The Best Beauty Products to Buy at Sephora for Under $30

For the fine-lined and finely sensitive

Eucerin Q10 Anti-Wrinkle Sensitive Face Lotion
Image: Amazon

Eucerin Q10 Anti-Wrinkle Sensitive Face Lotion (Amazon, $8)

For the “it’s too sticky!” lotion hater

Olay Active Hydrating Beauty Fluid Lotion
Image: Olay

For the one-and-done minimalist

L’Oreal Paris Ideal Moisture Even Tone Day/Night Cream
Image: L'Oreal

L’Oreal Paris Ideal Moisture Even Tone Day/Night Cream (L’Oreal, $7)

For the sometimes-oily, sometimes-dry, sometimes-both

Garnier SkinActive Moisture Rescue Refreshing Gel-Cream
Image: Garnier

For the crazy dry and irritated

Simple Replenishing Rich Moisturizer
Image: Simple

For the occasional breaker-outer

For the constant breaker-outer

Clean & Clear Dual Action Moisturizer
Image: Target

For the easily burned and freckled

Aveeno Protect + Hydrate Lotion SPF 50 For Face
Image: Aveeno

For the dark-spotted and discolored

Pond’s Clarant B3 Dark Spot Correcting Cream
Image: Target

For the naturalist at heart

Alba Botanica Even Advanced Sea Moss Moisturizer
Image: Target

Originally posted on StyleCaster.com

Thanksgiving traditions that will make your family feel less strange

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Look, every family is weird in their own way, right? That's what makes family moments so memorable. Sometimes you don't even realize the peculiarities of your own bunch until you spend time with someone else's family and oof, then it gets extra strange. We asked people to tell us what makes their Thanksgiving celebrations different from the "normal" ones we might see on holiday ads. Here's what they had to say about their Thanksgiving tradition quirks.

"To get the kids out of the kitchen, my mom would have the kids put together a play to perform after the meal. Being some of the weirdest headstrong kids around, the performances were always a bit, shall we say, bizarre. One memorable year (thankfully after I’d stopped being included in this) the kids decided to put on a play to the song “Earl Had to Die” by the Dixie Chicks. Nothing quite says family togetherness and gratitude like a bunch of kids elaborately acting out poisoning an abusive husband." Kaitlin Racine

"I can't stand turkey or any of the traditional side dishes that all come from a can and are super heavy, so my family and I always make tacos. When we tell people this, more often than not they say how good tacos sound instead of turkey!" Laura Dembowski

More: 25 turkey FAILS that will make you rethink your Thanksgiving menu plan

"Back in 1996 (OH YES) my dad wrote up a funny Thanksgiving menu to print out to give everyone at the table. It had puns, quirky humor and little nods to family members. Throughout the years it eventually evolved into an annual poem he writes that incorporates every single family member, something funny or notable they did that year, and yes it rhymes. Everyone gets a copy and we've saved them all. Oh, and the tradition is, before we eat my dad stands up and reads it." Ali Arnone

"My stepdad is Jewish so for Thanksgiving and Christmas when the whole family eats together and all bring dishes he makes krugel. It is our own tradition that we love.One year he messed up the recipe and accidentally added salt instead of sugar (grabbed the wrong canister) and it was inedible. That was about five years ago. Now, every year, when he brings it, we joke, asking if there is salt or sugar in it." Deborah Dennert

More: 19 drool-worthy food blogs you need to follow before Thanksgiving

"For over 10 years, every Thanksgiving my mom and I wake up early in the morning, cook an entire traditional Thanksgiving Day meal turkey, cranberry sauce from scratch, mashed potatoes the works! We then wrap it up, drive it to a local shelter, drive home and order Chinese food. It's our most favorite tradition! One year, we got home a little later and every Chinese restaurant was already closed. I remember us eating old frozen tater tots - the only thing left in the fridge, we still think back and smile!" Anna De Souza

"My first Thanksgiving trying to cook allergy-free after my son's diagnoses. Trying to make a green bean casserole without cream of mushroom soup, pie without eggs or evaporated milk and mashed potatoes without dairy had me in TEARS! We have Thanksgiving 2x a year. One actually on Thanksgiving Day and the other is during the SuperBowl! The food is just so good, why only eat it once a year." — Nicole Dawson

More: 13 Thanksgiving turkey crafts to get your kids' creativity flowing

"For the past few years I've invited my ex-husband to our Thanksgiving dinner. It means so much to our son, and I'll always consider him family, after all. Since we live far away from parents, siblings, and cousins and never travel for the holiday it just makes sense." Adriana Velez

Do you have any unique Thanksgiving traditions?

My ex's ex knew I deserved better than the relationship I was in

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I probably would have stayed if I hadn't talked to his ex girlfriend.

He was so good at making me feel uncertain of myself, like I was misremembering his words, my words, our actions and agreements. It got to a point where I insisted we write everything down, so that we didn't get tangled up in confusion. I didn't realize that he was pulling the strings on purpose to trip me up.

When I first met her, they were still dating. She seemed possessive. When she kissed him in front of me it felt like a pointed gesture, but I figured they had been dating for longer and it was fair for her to feel uncomfortable. I didn't think much of it. I may have said something about it to him, and he shrugged it off, so I did too.

More: I tried to be friends with my abusive ex-husband

I made a point of hanging out with her one on one to get to know her and to reassure her that I wasn't intending to steal him away. It took a few times, but a few beers in we were confessing some of the issues we had with him to each other, asking for support. We both quickly realized that we needed each other to know we were being heard, that we weren't crazy, that he was behaving poorly and it wasn't personal. It was a pattern.

It took months before she confessed to me that he had actively volunteered information on the sex we were having to her, sex acts that she didn't feel comfortable with and he was glowing about. He had told her that he would feel more sexual desire for her if she gained weight and dressed differently... more like me, in other words. I was gobsmacked. He so rarely complimented me, but here he was comparing his other lover to me as if she was being found wanting. No wonder she was so cagey around me at first!

More: Sex work was the first time my fat body felt powerful

We became close pretty quickly. I knew she was going to dump him months before he did. We would get together and rant, text each other "omg you'd never believe what just happened" until we both realized that yes, we could believe it. She texted me right after she dumped him so I would be prepared for the emotional fallout we both thought was inevitable. He didn't throw a tantrum or seem particularly upset. At least, I didn't notice.

But then, slowly, his behavior with me got worse and worse. I began to see some of the same issues she had complained about, him ignoring me, gaslighting me, "forgetting" plans and not looking at me when we fucked. I cried on her shoulder, wishing I was strong enough to leave. She'd hug me and tell me I was strong for staying, if that's what I wanted. I began to realize that maybe this wasn't what I wanted, not at all. That he was treating me badly, and this was a pattern, and it wasn't going to get better. Any grievance I brought to him was summarily dismissed as just my problem.

When I dumped him, it was his ex I sent the email to for proofreading. She guided me through the process, the negotiations and the flailing. When he called the police on me "for my safety," it was her house I hid out at. She knew his ways, his words, how he would keep someone on edge trying to please him, and she gently but firmly told me when that was happening. It was with her holding my hand that I was able to leave him, to see what was happening as veering towards emotional abuse mixed with narcissism. We agreed it wasn't likely intentional, but it was still harmful, and the unconscious way in which he'd harm us was almost worse than if he was being malicious.

More: The first time my husband hit me wasn't the last

Through this process, I realized how it could've been if we had done that thing that women are encouraged to do when fucking the same guy. We could've been suspicious of each other, we could've competed, we could've been distant. I might still believe that all the problems we had were mine, like he told me they were. But instead we had solidarity and trust and support, and through that we were both able to get out of a relationship with a man who acted like he wanted an audience, not a lover.

Sometimes your ex's ex is your best ally as you take those steps to leave. I feel lucky, and so grateful, that I have her support as I learn to detox from a relationship that was slowly rotting away my sense of self. I see her and I know I can be there in 6 months. I know she'll understand when I need to cry or rant. In many ways, I have a better relationship with my ex's ex than I ever had with him.

If you think that you might be the victim of gaslighting or any other form of emotional or physical abuse, seek professional help or call the National Domestic Violence Help Hotline at 1-800-799-7233.

This post was originally published on BlogHer.


Eat Cleaner helps you keep your food and family healthy

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Eat Cleaner is revolutionizing the way we feed our bodies. Founder, Mareya Ibrahim, also known as the “The Fit Foodie” is a nationally recognized food safety expert, entrepreneur and author. Her latest career endeavor, Eat Cleaner, offers a line of all natural and organic products that helps yield safer and longer-lasting produce.

Name: Mareya Ibrahim

Company: Eat Cleaner

Headquarters: Aliso Viejo, California

Year founded: 2010

Twitter: @EatcleanerFood

Facebook: Eat Cleaner

Instagram: @eatcleaner

Website: https://eatcleaner.com

Want to sign up for the Pitch, or know someone who would be a great candidate? Email us today at thepitch@sheknows.com!

7 ways to update your bob

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We all go through this contradictory phase with our hair where we have absolutely no interest in cutting it, but we still want a brand new and noticeably different look. This situation is especially frustrating when you have a bob. If going for the daring pixie cut or buying a set of expensive extensions isn’t up your alley, you might find yourself in a monotonous hair rut.

More: The most flattering hairstyles for round faces

Thankfully, there are a ton of hairstyling options and even a few minor cutting techniques you can do to give yourself an updated ‘do without drastically changing the popular length. To help you figure out how to style a bob, we pulled together 7 options for you to choose from.

7 Ways to Update Your Bob
Image: Imaxtree

1. Blunt Bangs

If you already have a blunt bob, try giving your look even more of a mod vibe and cut bangs of a medium-thickness that fall right below your eyebrows. While they may need some management, the length provides you with the option of pulling them back or growing them out with ease.

7 Ways to Update Your Bob 2
Image: Imaxtree

2. Fake Bangs With a Bobby Pin

We’ve said it before and we’ll say it again. The bobby pin is completely underrated. Fake fringe without actually cutting them by parting your hair on the side and pulling the hair over your forehead and then pinning it back with a bobby pink or a dressy barrette. The pins will also double up as a cute hair accessory.

7 Ways to Update Your Bob 3
Image: Imaxtree

3. The Thick Headband

Give your workout headband another wear and rock it during the day, using it to pull flat-ironed hair back and out of your face. This look is ideal for someone transitioning their bangs. Place the headband right at your hairline and be sure to calm your hair of fly-aways and static for a sleek look.

7 Ways to Update Your Bob 4
Image: Imaxtree

4. A Middle Part

You might not believe it, but changing your hair part alone can make it appear like you got a new cut. As hair flips into different directions, it creates the illusion of layers, angles, and volume. Go for a modern middle part with a chin-length bob with piece-y texture at the ends.

More: Tips and Tricks for Really Getting That Perfect Blue Hair

7 Ways to Update Your Bob 5
Image: Imaxtree


5. Pinned Curls

Don’t get trapped in the thought that you can’t do a lot with short hair. That couldn’t be less true. Create a 20s-inspired look by with pin curls starting at your ears and followed around your head. Keep the rest of your hair texture-free and smooth, allowing the curls to really pop. When you remove the curls after a few hours, you’ll have a wavy, beachy style to wear later.

7 Ways to Update Your Bob 6
Image: Imaxtree

6. Voluminous Waves

You’ll be glad you didn’t get rid of your hot rollers. Part your hair on the side and set your hair in 1 ½- inch rollers while you finish getting ready in the morning. They’ll need to stay in for at least a half hour, so make sure to plan your time accordingly. When you take them out, keep the style in place with a flexible and long-holding hair spray like Living Proof’s Flex Shaping Hairspray. We love the idea of wearing an ear cuff or dramatic dangly earrings on the side opposite your hair part.

7 Ways to Update Your Bob 7
Image: Imaxtree

7. Trusty Tousled Waves

This is quite possibly the simplest way to update a bob. As long as you have a curling wand and heat-protectant spray, you’ll be able to achieve this at home. After curling the hair around your head with a 1-inch curling iron, run your fingers through your hair to separate the tendrils. Keep the pieces around your face in a spiral shape by winding them around your finger. Finish with a spritz of finishing spray or salt spray for even more texture.

Originally posted on StyleCaster.com

Weekly horoscopes: Nov. 21 – Nov. 27

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St. Teresa of Avila once said that more tears have been shed over answered prayers than over unanswered ones. This is something you might want to keep in mind as Jupiter forms a square to Pluto on Nov. 24. Jupiter is the planet of good fortune and higher purpose. And like Saturn, its opposite, it tests. But where Saturn tests by taking things away, Jupiter tests by granting you your fondest hopes and most cherished wishes. But does getting what you want make you a better person? Does good fortune inspire you to pay it forward with charitable acts or do you close the door behind you now that you've entered the winner's circle? Hopefully, you will go high rather than low because the repercussions can be disastrous when Pluto is involved.

aries

taurus

gemini

cancer

leo

virgo

libra

scorpio

sagittarius

capricorn

aquarius

pisces

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ARIES (March 19 - April 18)
Image: SheKnows

With the sun in Sagittarius, it is the perfect time for broadening your horizons and for exploring your world both physically and metaphysically. People often think of Aries as muscle-bound and hardheaded, but a lot of brainy types were born under your zodiac sign — people like Emma Watson and Rachel Maddow. The pursuit of knowledge for knowledge's sake will be very powerful over the next four weeks, so go ahead and enroll in the course, attend a workshop, or crack open a book that promises more intellectual heft than The Girl on the Train. Everyone knows that the sexiest part of the body is the brain.

More: What show you should watch based on your astrological sign

Back to directory

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TAURUS (April 19 - May 19)
Image: SheKnows

There's no shame in saying you were wrong. In fact, the world would be a much better place if people felt like they could say they screwed up without being raked over the coals for it. Perhaps then they would learn from their mistakes instead of pass the buck. Mercury's conjunction to Saturn on Nov. 23 shows you rethinking an impolitic decision that you made in October. This may require you to eat some humble pie, but at least it's in service to a higher cause, which is to get things back on track. Besides, humble pie isn't the worst thing. It's gluten-free.

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GEMINI (May 20 - June 19)
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You know that show Antique Roadshow where people haul in their stuff that's been gathering dust in their garage? Well, that could be you this week when Venus conjoins Pluto in that part of your solar chart that pertains to hidden resources. Named after the Roman god of the underworld, Pluto rules over things buried beneath layers of dirt and grime. This applies to crypts as well as attics, basements and the forgotten corners of your closet. Try digging around on the 25th. You may discover that one person's trash is another person's treasure when it fetches a good price on one of those auction sites.

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CANCER (June 20 - July 21)
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Nobody likes hitting a dead end — especially a Cancer. It's hard to accept that this is it considering all of the time and energy that you poured into a project, association or enterprise. Nevertheless, it's time to call it quits and to move on. But before you can step off the platform, you'll experience an extraordinary save from out of left field thanks to a Mercury/Uranus trine on Nov. 26. Think of it as a steal on The Voice. It may surprise you to see who's coming to your eleventh-hour rescue, but you won't waste a minute transitioning from one company to the next.

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LEO (July 22 - Aug. 21)
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You've spent weeks trying to accommodate the people in your life. The more you stepped and fetched, the more outrageous and demanding they became. Now, it may feel like you've done all the giving and that they've done all the taking, but you can't roll down the red carpet and not expect people to want to stroll across it. You've been sending mixed messages and you need to clear them up on Nov. 23. Try to state your position in an affirmative way rather than in a hissy-fit way. Believe it or not, people had no idea that they were upsetting you.

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VIRGO (Aug. 22 - Sept. 21)
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Colleagues will encourage you to stay in the long game, but your sixth sense says otherwise. Things look fine on the surface. If anything, the return on an investment, the price points on a sale or the value of a piece of property look good. Actually they look better than good — they're going up. However, Jupiter's deceleration in the sky and the fact that it won't quite complete its sextile to Saturn shows that the time to sell is now. So draw up those papers and settle on your dream price. You should get it as long as you conclude matters before Dec. 9.

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LIBRA (Sept. 22 - Oct. 21)
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There are a lot of people looking to separate you from your money this week. This could run the gamut from telemarketers, who will be out in droves, to cheesy lenders angling to hook you into some kind of long-term low-interest loan. Just say "no." Now, this may run counter to what's being offered, but rest assured that what's being offered is nothing but empty promises. Jupiter squaring your ruling planet Venus on Nov. 25 inflates your hopes and expectations so that your loss could prove to be somebody else's gain. Don't let any of these barkers have the last laugh at your expense.

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SCORPIO (Oct. 22 - Nov. 20)
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Do you know the difference between working hard and working hard at working hard? The first reflects a disciplined focus and an economy of effort that ensures that you will eventually master your task, whereas the second is analogous to those loud grunts and groans that you hear guys make at the gym before they throw down their weights and make the entire room shake. It sounds like a lot of work, but how much are they getting done, really? This is a good time to rethink the working pattern of your life. There's a way to accomplish more with less drama and trauma.

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SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 21 -Dec. 20)
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Take a peek under the hood to make sure you aren't agreeing to any Faustian bargains on Nov. 24. This sort of thing happens when Jupiter forms a square to Pluto in the sky. The flesh is weak and the pocketbook is even weaker. It looks as if somebody somewhere is going to make you an offer that's too good to be true and guess what? It is. Don't let money anxieties prompt you to sell your soul. Yes, things are tough, but they won't always be. You don't want to enter into a binding agreement now that you will have cause to regret later.

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CAPRICORN (Dec. 21 - Jan. 19)
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An extraordinary square between Jupiter and Pluto on Nov. 24 shows you receiving an offer that you cannot possibly refuse. Not only is this a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, but it also promises to transform your career. Unfortunately, you will also be called upon to break a promise, sever ties with someone you pledged yourself to or leave a client hanging. Don't take the easy way out, which would be to walk out on the people who were there for you. Jupiter and Pluto are moral planets. Ask for permission to leave and you will receive it eventually along with this person's blessing.

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AQUARIUS (Jan. 20 - Feb. 17)
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This is a propitious week for insider scoops, lucrative leads and valuable introductions thanks to Mercury's journey through that part of your solar chart that pertains to hopes, wishes and the people who can make it all happen. Aquarius is a people-person sign. Your greatest resources will always be your very human resources. Sometimes you have to give a lot of yourself in terms of time, attention and emotional investment and sometimes (like now) you get to reap what you've sown. Thankfully, Jupiter's placement in Libra shows you harvesting a bumper crop of good favor and heartfelt gratitude for all you've done.

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PISCES (Feb. 18 - March 18)
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You're just a stone's throw away from getting what you want, so now's a good time to ask yourself if this is what you truly want. The timing for this question might strike some people as strange, but as a Pisces, you know that the things you yearn for at a distance can often lose their appeal when examined up close. Review your list of pros and cons and don't let anyone push you into accepting something for the sake of closure. You may find that you're deeply ambivalent about taking the next step. Sometimes, just coming and seeing is more gratifying than the conquering.

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Your weekly love horoscope

Weekly love horoscopes: Nov. 21 – Nov. 27

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Venus is the planet of love. Jupiter is the planet of good fortune. Together these two cosmic energies bring the wealth, health and happiness that people seek — except when they square. Venus in Capricorn is like an aloof cat that's trying to enjoy an afternoon nap, while Jupiter in Libra is like a slobbering dog that scampers around putting its nose into everything. Maybe it's his ego that's getting on your nerves nowadays, his panting desire for constant affection or the fact that he's always pawing at you. In any case it looks like you'll let him have it on Nov. 25. This will send him scurrying to his corner feeling wounded and humiliated, so you might want to think up ways to purr and make nice.

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ARIES (March 19 - April 18)
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You knew it was going to happen. You could just feel it in your bones. You knew that as soon as you started seeing someone new, your ex would resurface looking for a second chance. A lot of women would love to have this kind of problem, but not you. You can only be true to one person at a time. Perhaps the best solution is to ask for some time off? Let's face it — you're never going to be able to make a commitment to anyone new until you know for certain that things between you and your old flame are totally done.

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TAURUS (April 19 - May 19)
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Weeks ago you said you wanted to take things slowly, but now it looks like you're pushing for your relationship to get more serious. What gives? Taurus people are complicated creatures when it comes to love. The earthy side of you is territorial and doesn't like to share, whereas the Venus side of you can't sleep at night unless she's part of a couple. This is why you give off mixed signals. You can swing between extremes like "keep to your side of the fence" and "I can't live without you." Thankfully, you'll find a happy medium when Venus squares Jupiter on Nov. 25.

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GEMINI (May 20 - June 19)
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You have a tendency to scrape your peas and carrots onto your partner's plate when you don't feel like dealing with things that you find unappetizing. It's OK most of the time, except for this week when the Venus/Jupiter square on Nov. 25 shows that you've dumped things on him one time too often. Maybe you left him holding the bag, turned him into the fall guy when things went awry or even threw him under the bus. In any case, you need to own up to your part of the equation. And if you know what's good for you, you will.

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CANCER (June 20 - July 21)
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Forgiving your partner's errant behavior may have been noble at first, but it's also put you in the position of having to supervise his behavior 24/7. Now, you may say you have to do this out of necessity, but actually you don't. Mercury conjunct Saturn on Nov. 23 says this would be a good time to let him out of the doghouse. You're never going to rebuild that trust if you're stuck having to play the parent in your relationship. You signed on for love replete with all of its bumps and lumps; you didn't sign on for a job as his babysitter.

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LEO (July 22 - Aug. 21)
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You told that guy who jilted you that he was making a terrible mistake and this week you'll see it for yourself. But don't expect to savor the sweet taste of triumph. He looks miserable; so miserable, in fact, that you'll want to duck down a grocery store aisle or cross the street to avoid running into him. Eventually, your paths will cross and it will be a telling moment. It will also be a cathartic one because you'll finally let go of the pain he caused you. It's hard to feel hurt by someone who's clearly suffering more than you are these days.

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VIRGO (Aug. 22 - Sept. 21)
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Mercury under the exacting rays of Saturn on Nov. 23 makes you suspicious and paranoid. This could lead you to doubt a paramour's fidelity and then aggressively cross-examine him like a grand inquisitor when he says that he loves you. This will come across as off-putting and discouraging right at the moment you long for him to hold you close. You want him to be understanding and reassuring, but that's a tall order when you're grilling him about every little thing. Insecurities are never easy to manage. That's why it's best to be honest about them. Besides, it's not like you're telling him anything new.

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LIBRA (Sept. 22 - Oct. 21)
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If you expect him to come to you, you'll be in for a very long wait. Men don't like being made to genuflect — even if they are head over heels in love. Jupiter in Libra adds to your charisma by making you more magnetic, charming and desirable than ever. However, Jupiter in Libra can also be a real ego inflator — making you high-handed and prideful at the worst of times. Don't let a recent fight become a bigger deal than it is. It doesn't matter who's right or who's wrong. An apology from you will get him to drop all defenses and run to you.

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SCORPIO (Oct. 22 - Nov. 20)
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You don't like it when people try to get you to lighten up or when they want to bring you out of your shell. You're a Scorpio and Scorpios are famous for enjoying their alone time. Yes, you enjoy your one-on-one time with your lover, but when you're not with him, you're more than happy to be by yourself. Unfortunately, loved ones and friends have decided to climb down into your crawl space this week and to fetch you out of your lower depths. They're worried that you're becoming antisocial. There's no use arguing. Play along for now and they'll leave you alone soon enough.

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SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 21 -Dec. 20)
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Sagittarius people are famous for their generosity of spirit. You will give of yourself to just about anyone — even if they happen to be people you barely know. But what about the people you do know? There's a tendency to ignore loved ones and friends. Maybe it's familiarity that blinds you to their concerns or the innocent assumption that they can take care of themselves. In any case, the Venus/Jupiter square on Nov. 25 could result in an unexpectedly nasty exchange. Don't ignore the anger or try to brush it off. A certain someone's been feeling neglected lately and needs some quality time with you.

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CAPRICORN (Dec. 21 - Jan. 19)
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It isn't easy standing by loved ones when they veer off course or go wildly spinning in unexpected directions. And truth to tell, it's been a challenge holding center, but if 2016 taught you anything, it was to give people plenty of time and space to work things out for themselves. What you've gotten in return is gratitude, loyalty and even praise. It's a good thing too, because things would have turned out differently if you'd had those conversations you were tempted to have. Thank heavens you held back when you did. Otherwise, the year wouldn't be ending on such a positive note.

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AQUARIUS (Jan. 20 - Feb. 17)
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You're not letting that special someone be special. You're attracted to unique and eccentric types. You can relate to their out-of-syncness, and you admire their refusal to be pigeonholed. However, there's another side of you that doesn't like your partner to be too "out there" and that part of you will seek to muzzle him if he threatens to rock the boat too much. This is something that you'll want to pay attention to on Nov. 25 when Venus squares Jupiter. Let him be his own person. You don't want to stifle the very qualities that you were drawn to in the first place.

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PISCES (Feb. 18 - March 18)
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Sometimes you can make the mistake of mistaking his concerns for yours. It's an occupational hazard when you're born under hugely empathetic Pisces. Nevertheless, his cross to bear is his alone to carry, and you will need to accept this on Nov. 23. It may feel like he's shutting you out, but he's not. It's just that he's so absorbed with a seemingly no-win situation that he just can't talk about it with anyone else right now. Show support by quietly giving him his emotional space. This will do everything to communicate the faith you have in him and the love that you feel.

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Your weekly horoscope

Donald Trump disappointingly missed the Hamilton cast's message

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Donald Trump just proved he's quick to dole out judgment without actually listening to the word of the people.

More: How I explained President-elect Donald Trump to my daughter

When trying to gain the faith and hope of a skeptical nation, it's best not to target the most diverse, most celebrated show currently on Broadway. Unfortunately, Trump didn't seem to get the memo. Either that or he doesn't care, because the president-elect didn't have any problem calling the Hamilton cast's heartfelt message to Mike Pence "harassment."

Vice President-elect Pence attended the smash hit on Friday night and, at the end of the performance, the cast had some words for him.

According to the New York Times, actor Brandon Victor Dixon, who played Aaron Burr, took the stage to read a statement written by show creator Lin-Manuel Miranda, director Thomas Kail and lead producer Jeffrey Seller, with input from the cast members.

More: How to show your support for those marginalized and bullied by Trump

"We, sir — we — are the diverse America who are alarmed and anxious that your new administration will not protect us, our planet, our children, our parents, or defend us and uphold our inalienable rights," Dixon read. "We truly hope that this show has inspired you to uphold our American values and to work on behalf of all of us."

Hamilton message to mike pence twitter

Hamilton message to mike pence twitter

The statement was met with applause and cheers from the audience. It's important to note that the cast of Hamilton very vocally supported Hillary Clinton, even hosting a special performance to raise money for her.

While Pence did not respond to the statement, Trump voiced his unhappiness.

Donald Trump Hamilton response tweet 1

Donald Trump Hamilton response tweet 1

Donald Trump Hamilton response tweet 2

Donald Trump Hamilton response tweet 2

Dixon quickly responded to Trump with a message of his own.

Brandon Dixon response to Donald Trump twitter

Brandon Dixon response to Donald Trump twitter

I am personally horrified that our president-elect isn't more willing to hear the voice of the people. People are nervous about his presidency. People are scared that a man who has insulted minorities and women without a filter is about to run our nation. And, rather than assuaging their concerns, Trump is criticizing those who would let their voices be heard. A leader should not turn a blind eye to cries for equality. He shouldn't demand an apology from those admitting they fear for this nation. A president should understand that a house divided cannot stand, and he should work to mend the fractures.

Unfortunately, I have yet to see that from Trump. And it makes me sad. It makes me nervous.

More: Please just let me grieve over Hillary's loss without being mocked

All Trump and Pence had to do was respond with something like, "We know you're scared. We know you're nervous. We're committed to bringing the country together again."

I wasn't a Trump supporter during the election, but after he was elected, I was open-minded about giving him a chance. I'm still trying to be, but incidents like this are becoming a pattern and are slowly but surely crushing my hope.

Trump needs to learn how to be an inspiring leader, and he needs to learn it fast.

Do you think Donald Trump made the wrong move in responding to the Hamilton cast's message for Mike Pence?

Before you go, check out our slideshow below.

donald trump quotes slideshow
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Why Taylor Swift, Kanye West and Beyoncé skipped the AMAs

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Wait, I'm confused: Beyoncé made it to the Country Music Awards this year but didn't show up for the American Music Awards tonight? Taylor Swift, Britney Spears and Kanye West were also notably missing. What gives?

More: 2015 AMAs — 6 drama-filled moments you probably missed (VIDEO)

Here's why your favorite stars missed all the AMAs fun tonight.

1. Kanye West

West is probably recovering from his rant against Beyoncé and Jay Z at his Sacramento concert last night, in which he claimed her VMAs win was rigged. He was so upset that after only performing three songs, West left the stage and didn't return. Fans, some of whom had paid $250 for tickets, were furious.

2. Britney Spears

Spears was rumored to be performing at the AMAs this year, but it turns out she couldn't even attend. Instead, she was busy wrapping up her Vegas show until 2017.

Britney Spears AMAs tweet 1

Britney Spears AMAs tweet 1

3. Beyoncé

Beyoncé is probably in hiding from West. Kidding, kidding... kind of. Queen Bey is notoriously private, though, and she probably isn't interested in facing all the tabloids tonight. The publicity from the last couple of days has yet to slow down.

More: 2015 AMA fashion was black, white and sparkly all over

4. Taylor Swift

No word yet on why Swift wasn't able to make the AMAs, but she did give a shout-out to her girl squad squeeze, Gigi Hadid, who was hosting the show.

Taylor swift amas instagram pic

Taylor swift amas instagram pic

Of course, just because some of your favorites were missing from the show, that doesn't mean the AMAs were lacking in star power. Fifth Harmony, Hailee Steinfeld, Drake, Selena Gomez, Lady Gaga and Bruno Mars all attended, among others. Even Justin Bieber showed up via live video from Switzerland to perform.

More: Taylor Swift has returned to her country roots — onstage at the CMAs

Which celeb were you missing the most tonight at the 2016 American Music Awards?

Before you go, check out our slideshow below.

Bella Hadid at the 2016 AMAs
Image: Kevin Mazur/Getty Images

9 badass women who are giving us faith in humanity right now

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No matter your political beliefs, it’s a uniquely unsettling and, for millions of people, downright scary time to be an American. And if you’re among those feeling marginalized, know you’re that not alone—and that it’s okay to navigate your feelings in any manner that feels right (and safe) for you. Sure, that’s not much consolation when you’re being harassed for your gender, skin color, or religion; or when you’re watching president-elect Donald Trump tell Lesley Stahl he’s surprised to hear about hate crimes sweeping the country in his name. But if nothing else, something that will plant a small seed of hope in the place in your heart where dreams of electing the first female president were recently ripped away are the inspiring women who are on the rise in our country—and won’t be backing down anytime soon, on feminist issues or otherwise.

From entertainers like Kate McKinnon and Samantha Bee to politicians like Elizabeth Warren and Kamala Harris, these nine women are just a few names on a long list of ladies who are starting to do the difficult work—and resuming Hillary Clinton’s lifelong mission—to create an inclusive, open-minded, and diverse democracy in which no gender, skin color, heritage, or background is considered better than any other. We may be a ways away from true equality, but let’s take a cue from them to get off our butts and do something to make a change, too.

More: 10 Crucial Women Behind the Clinton and Trump Campaigns

Kamala Harris
Image: Getty Images

Kamala Harris

Last week, Harris, who’s been Attorney General of California since 2011, was elected Junior U.S. Senator. She made history as the second black woman to serve in the U.S. Senate, and there’s buzz that she could one day be the U.S. presidential candidate to successfully shatter the glass ceiling. Of the Republican-dominated Senate she’s soon to join, Harris sounds hopeful that she’ll still be able to work with her peers to get shit done. She told the Los Angeles Times that she sees an “alignment of interests on a number of issues,” and that she’s “looking forward to building those relationships.”

Catherine Cortez Masto
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Catherine Cortez Masto

Cortez Masto is a Democrat from Nevada who was elected to the U.S. Senate last week after previously serving as the state’s Attorney General from 2007 to 2015. She’s spent her career fighting to protect Nevada families, and as the first Latina Senator, she shares many Americans’ view that a Trump presidency is a step backwards for minorities. She called “the level of racism and bigotry so astounding and disgusting, and he’s trying to mainstream it.” Still, at the end of the day, like Harris, it sounds like she’ll do whatever it takes to help make change: “It’s not necessarily about making history, but about gaining seats at the table.”

Samantha Bee
Image: Getty Images

Samantha Bee

Comedian and “Full Frontal” TV host Bee made no bones about how she feels about last week’s results. “Our democracy just hoiked up a marmalade hairball with the whole world watching,” she said. “What we did was the democratic equivalent of installing an above-ground pool. Even if we’re lucky and it doesn’t seep into our foundations, the neighbors will never look at us the same way again. A majority of white women, faced with the choice between the first female president and a vial of weaponized testosterone, said, ‘I’ll take Option B. I just don’t like her.’ Hope you got your sticker, ladies. Way to lean out.” Still, Bee’s not just lashing out with anger—she still has hope for the U.S., she says, noting that Shonda Rhimes shows, Beyoncé, and the new women elected to Senate still make our country great. “Let’s get off the floor and get busy,” she said. “Especially you, white women. We’ve got some karma to work off.”

Elizabeth Warren
Image: Getty Images

Elizabeth Warren

Warren, a Democrat and the Senior Senator from Massachusetts, was once seen as a power check on Clinton, and the potentially Wall Street-friendly Cabinet she might appoint as president (wow, our problems used to be so small). But as the election loomed closer, the rallied around the Democratic candidate, warning Trump—who repeatedly called Warren “Pocahontas”—that “nasty women vote” and canvassing for Clinton. In a conversation with Rachel Maddow after the results came in last week, Warren said that she’s grieved the loss and is ready to act. “There was a time to be really despondent about it, but the way I see it now is that we pick ourselves up and we fight back.” Amen.

Elizabeth Warren 'We Stand Up and Fight Back' speech

Elizabeth Warren 'We Stand Up and Fight Back' speech

Tammy Duckworth
Image: Getty Images

Tammy Duckworth

A Democrat and Iraq War vet, Duckworth has been a U.S. Representative for Illinois since 2013—the first disabled woman to be elected to the position—and as of last week, will also become the state’s junior Senator. Thai by heritage, Duckworth is a strong advocate for gun control and has indicated via Twitter that while she knows “a lot of Americans are hurting right now… I plan to start off assuming that those on the other side of the aisle love this country as much as I do… When we agree, I’ll work with them on policies that help this nation. But when we disagree, I will stand up and fight for working people.”

Kate McKinnon
Image: Getty Images

Kate McKinnon

If, by now, you haven’t seen last Saturday’s “SNL” cold open featuring McKinnon as Clinton—and every one of her SNL performances as the former presidential candidate, TBH—you need to ASAP (see below, and prepare to cry). She’s an awesome actress, a hilarious comedian, and, as we now know, a talented singer, who’s offered us plenty of comic relief throughout this election cycle, and hopefully will continue to do so during the Trump presidency, as Clinton or otherwise.

Hillary Clinton (Kate McKinnon) performs Hallelujah

Hillary Clinton (Kate McKinnon) performs Hallelujah

Mazie Hirono
Image: Getty Images

Mazie Hirono

Hirono is a Democrat and the junior U.S. Senator from Hawaii, a post she’s held since 2013. Japanese American by heritage, Hirono was the first and only Asian-American woman elected to the Senate. For her part, she’s been clear on where she stands about Trump’s Cabinet. In regard to Trump’s decision to hire ex-Breitbart News executive and extreme alt-right conservative Steve Bannon, Hirono said during a Democratic press conference: “Quite frankly it’s sad that we are having a debate about whether a white supremacist should serve as a senior counselor to the president elect.”

Michelle Obama
Image: Getty Images

Michelle Obama

There’s so much to say about our soon-to-be-former First Lady, but the first things that come to mind are her dignity and grace. Just today, a Trump supporter wrote a Facebook post that went viral, saying, “It will be refreshing to have a classy, beautiful, dignified first lady in the White House. I’m tired of seeing a Ape in heels.” If your face is getting hot just reading that, you’re not alone. Still, in spite of it all—because you can be sure, this is far from the first bigoted and baseless attack she’s endured—she still manages to give inspiring, pro-woman speeches, shoot elegant-as-hell magazine covers like this Vogue one, and oh, let’s not forget, give Melania Trump—our soon-to-be next First Lady—her best speech fodder.

Camilla Parker-Bowles
Image: Getty Images

Camilla Parker-Bowles

Parker-Bowles, the Duchess of Cornwall, made a small but significant pro-woman gesture in the wake of last week’s election, posting a photo with her all-female protection team during a visit to the United Arab Emirates. She told the Daily Mail, “It’s fascinating. It is quite extraordinary to have them. I have never had four women looking after me [and] they are the most incredible women.”

Camilla Parker-Bowles with all female protection team

Camilla Parker-Bowles with all female protection team

More: 17 Times Hillary Clinton was Classy AF

Originally posted on StyleCaster.com


Kristen Wiig's SNL return was definitely one to remember

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Kristen Wiig knows how to get us ready for Thanksgiving: with a Saturday Night Live Thanksgiving song and an Alec Baldwin/Donald Trump feud, of course!

Wiig returned to host SNL ahead of the holiday for the second time, joined by Baldwin, Steve Martin, Jason Sudeikis and Will Forte.

More: The women of SNL are killing it this season, and these sketches prove it

"You might not know this about me, but I'm what they call a 'Thanksgiving freak,'" Wiig said in her opening. "I am a real turkey head."

Wiig proceeded to sing her melody of turkey love, which included a messed-up sort of history lesson about the first Thanksgivings, including Vikings, Santa, Benjamin Franklin, aliens and Sacajawea... in Egypt.

Check out her full monologue, including her song, below.

Kristen Wiig snl opening monologue

Kristen Wiig snl opening monologue

Viewers were definitely happy to see Wiig return.

Kristen Wiig snl tweet 1

Kristen Wiig snl tweet 1

Kristen Wiig snl tweet 2

Kristen Wiig snl tweet 2

Kristen Wiig snl tweet 3

Kristen Wiig snl tweet 3

Though she performed a number of skits throughout the night, fans seemed to agree that the skit with Baldwin as President-elect Trump was the best of the night.

More: Kristen Wiig, Will Ferrell's Lifetime movie is a go: 6 awesome details

In the skit, a nervous, recently elected Trump tried to pawn off all the responsibility on Pence and continued to insist he had a secret military plan for ISIS.

SNL donald trump thanksgiving skit

SNL donald trump thanksgiving skit

And though most found it hilarious, Trump was not a fan.

Donald Trump SNL tweet 1

Donald Trump SNL tweet 1

To which Baldwin was quick to respond:

Alec Baldwin Donald Trump tweet 1

Alec Baldwin Donald Trump tweet 1

Meanwhile, Wiig is staying out of it, though I really wish she would have been the one dressed up as Mike Pence.

More: Kristen Wiig's new boyfriend is not only hot but talented, too

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

Which skit was your favorite from Saturday Night Live hosted by Kristen Wiig?

Before you go, check out our slideshow below.

snl actors slideshow
Image: WENN

How to get rid of dark spots on any skin color

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If you’re a human being who has ever spent a day in the sun—or ever had an especially annoying, long-lasting pimple—then you probably have a few dark spots or red marks on your face. And you’ve probably realized by this point that no matter how many scrubs, masks, or gentle words of encouragement you heap upon those spots, they never totally fade.

More: The Best Skin-Care Tricks For Clearer, Brighter, Better Skin

But to get rid of hyperpigmentation (the catch-all term for dark spots and discoloration), you kinda have to know what you’re dealing with, first. “Essentially, hyperpigmentation is your skin’s reaction to injury,” says Mona Gohara, MD, dermatologist at Yale University. “For some biological reason, when you get injured, your melanocytes—the cells in your skin responsible for creating melanin—go into overdrive and create even more melanin at the site of your injury, giving you hyperpigmentation.”

How to Get Rid of Dark Spots 1
Image: Imaxtree

But the thing is, those “injuries” can be anything as small as a pimple, or a shaving nick, or a patch of eczema, or even just hangin’ out in the sun for a few hours. And for some reason, your melanocytes turn into Chicken Little over the injury and create a shit ton of melanin like the sky is falling, leaving you with hyperpigmentation.

Of course, not all skin discoloration is the same on all people. On lighter skin tones, the response to injury tends to appear as dark patches and spots, called hyperpigmentation, while darker skin tones often produce light spots (called hypopigmentation) and melasma (large gray-brown patches due to hormonal changes from birth control and pregnancy). Of course, any of these can affect any skin color and type, so don’t get hung up on fitting into a box. Instead, figure out what type of discoloration you have (going to the derm is your best option for this, though looking in the mirror is a close second), and then try your hand at treating it.

“Annoyingly, hypopigmentation—the loss of skin color—can’t be fixed with over-the-counter creams; it just has to fade slowly on its own,” says Gohara. Yes, it’s an insane bummer, but we promise the spots will fade. If you’re dealing with hyperpigmentation, though, you’ve got options, the most powerful (and potentially irritating) being hydroquinone: “Hydroquinone is a skin lightener that inhibits your melanin productions, which, when applied at night in 3-to-4-percent concentrations, quickly lightens hyperpigmentation,” says Gohara. The downside? It can be hella irritating, and, if overused, it has been shown to cause a darkening in the skin of darker complexions. So, you know, the opposite effect of what you’re going for.

How to Get Rid of Dark Spots 2
Image: Imaxtree

If post-inflammatory hyperpigmentation (a.k.a. the redness and dark spots leftover from acne) is your bugaboo, try over-the-counter retinoids, like Neutrogena Rapid Wrinkle Repair, which are vitamin-A derivatives that trigger your cells to turnover, leaving you with newer, fresher, brighter skin…after, you know, six months to a year. They’re still just as effective at lightening spots, though they do take longer, and they have the potential to irritate your skin and dry it out, so make sure to only use a pea-size amount over your entire face twice a week to start out. Again, we’d really recommend you use retinoids and hydroquinone under your derm’s supervision, but since you’re not going to, promise us that you’ll take it slow, OK?

If we’ve scared you out of both of those excellent options, then your next best bet is an antioxidant. “Antioxidants, like vitamin C, work to brighten your skin and fade dark spots over time, and are generally safe on all skin tones at low percentages,” says Gohara, who swears by SkinCeuticals C E Ferulic Serum or Obagi Professional-C Serum 20%. Your irritation risk is far lower with vitamin C is far lower than with other options, but the results are also much slower. Still, with continual use (read: every single morning), you’ll notice a significant difference in your skin tone along with the start of dark-spot fading after six months.

How to Get Rid of Dark Spots 3
Image: Imaxtree

Treating dark spots at home is the same for the lightest of light skin tones and the darkest of dark skin tones—though, as you learned with hydroquinone, dark skin can develop dark spots when it’s irritated; those with deep complexions need to be especially vigilant about using the lowest concentrations of lightening products and stopping at the first sign of irritation, lest you exacerbate the problem. And regardless of your skin type, Gohara (and literally every single dermatologist and doctor in the history of ever), urge you to use sunscreen, especially if you have dark spots.

More: The Best Moisturizers for Dry, Sensitive Skin

“Sun exposure triggers melanin production, which means your hyperpigmentation will appear darker very quickly without sunscreen,” says Gohara. If you don’t use sunscreen when trying to treat your discoloration, you’re literally negating all of your efforts. Also, sunscreen is excellent and protects you from skin cancer, etc., etc. (Not sure where to start? We love Dermalogica Pure Light SPF 50, which won’t clog pores or mess with your makeup.) Now go forth into this world a brighter, younger-looking thing, armed with all of the info you never knew you needed.

Originally posted on StyleCaster.com

The Walking Dead must know we could all use a little more Jesus in our lives

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It's been a rough season so far for The Walking Dead fandom. Beyond that brutal premiere, every episode has been tinged with the sadness of loss and the fear hanging over our favorite characters like a dense fog. It's hard to see a light at the end of the tunnel from here.

More: Rick's truth bomb on The Walking Dead proves things can always get worse

This week's episode proved pretty traumatic, too. For starters, if anyone was able to keep it together as Maggie and Sasha sat over the graves of Glenn and Abraham, give me some of whatever mood stabilizer you're on.

Throughout the episode, we were forced to reckon with our still-raw feelings over the loss of these core characters.

We also have to grapple with the knowledge that poor Daryl has potentially been broken, and is one Lucille swing away from winding up just like Glenn and Abe. After all, he's in such close proximity to Negan at all times now that he is the most likely candidate to get whacked (quite literally).

Basically, everything has gone to shit. So what, if any, silver lining could there possibly be right now? I've got one word for you: Jesus. Not the deity, mind you. Rather, the bearded guy with bravado who calls Hilltop home.

In this week's episode, Jesus did more to move the narrative of the characters forward than anyone or anything we've seen in weeks.

Let's start at the beginning, with the revelation that Maggie is indeed alive and as well as can be expected given the circumstances. She and Sasha have been holed up at Hilltop so that Maggie can receive medical treatment for the pregnancy complication that popped up just before Negan started bashing in skulls.

More: The Walking Dead's Season 7 premiere claimed [SPOILER]'s life, and we're not OK

Hilltop's idiotic, misogynistic leader, Gregory, is still idiotic and misogynistic. He's also just a grade A jerk who insists the women leave his community immediately. Enter Jesus. Hilltop's second-in-command interjects on behalf of the women, showing them true compassion.

In fact, at the start of the episode, he even brings flowers to Glenn and Abraham's graves, saying, "I read somewhere that blue flowers inspire strength and calm." (Sidebar: swoooooon.)

On the eve of Maggie and Sasha's banishment, the Saviors break into Hilltop and set up a disastrous situation — leaving loud music blaring from a locked car, fires blazing and the gates open. Naturally, the only people in the community really equipped to deal with droves of walkers are Maggie and Sasha, the former of whom defies orders to rest in favor of running a tractor over walkers and the blaring car.

And Jesus? Lord, Jesus. He comes out of nowhere decimating major walker ass with flying roundhouse kicks and precise stabs to whatever temporal lobe the undead may have left.

The following day when Gregory still tries to refuse the women sanctuary at Hilltop, Jesus starts to make a stand when the Saviors spill into the compound. Gregory tells Jesus to hide the women in the closet, which he appears to do.

More: Damn it, Dwight! Stop making The Walking Dead fans feel sorry for you

However, when Gregory tries to reveal the women in the hall closet, all he finds is a box of scotch (which he then has to give to Negan's cronies). Jesus, knowing full well what closet Gregory was referring to, instead hid Maggie and Sasha in the bedroom closet to keep them safe.

When Gregory confronts them, Jesus asserts his newfound confidence. The women are staying. Gregory will no longer lead the people of Hilltop. Times, they are a'changing.

When Gregory approaches the women, Maggie punches him square in the jaw. Why? For, well, being a total dillhole and for taking the pocket watch that belonged to both her father and Glenn. After punching him, she sets the record straight about her name: it's Maggie Rhee.

The moment was gutting and glorious in equal measure.

In this episode, Jesus turned out to be the divine intervention Maggie and Sasha needed... and that the fans needed. He's got the goodness of Glenn and the scrappiness of Abraham. He can't take their place, no, but he is definitely a welcome distraction from the gaping hole they left in the fandom's heart.

More: Seeing TWD's Daryl Dixon break down is having a serious effect on fans

Plus, as the episode closes, he follows through on his word to Sasha by hopping in the Saviors' truck in an attempt to locate Negan's hideaway. There, he runs into fellow stowaway Carl and gives him a little smirk. This looks to be the start of a very promising arc for our heroes.

What do you think? Do you dig Jesus, or could you do without?

Before you go, check out our slideshow below.

The Walking Dead TV vs comic slideshow
Image: AMC

Westworld introduced a plot hole that seemed completely unnecessary

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Tonight, Westworld introduced the first storyline that really rang false to me in a series that has, otherwise, been near perfection.

More: Westworld confirms huge theory in Episode 7

I've loved the Maeve storyline this season, and her self-discovery as she remembers and gains control of her life is fascinating to watch, but tonight's episode took it too far. Maeve was able to manipulate the techs guys into giving her control over the other hosts — Dr. Ford-level control — and I just couldn't make the science work in my head.

I know, this show is science fiction. At a certain point, I have to suspend my disbelief. But I just couldn't make it work in my mind that Maeve would be able to control the other hosts and change their storyline just by giving them commands.

Not even Dr. Ford can change the host's storylines without the help of a computer. We even saw him fiddling with an iPad-looking device tonight as he erased Maeve's memories of her daughter. Yes, he has a certain control of the hosts by voice command. He can tell them to sleep. He can command them to freeze. He can even direct them to certain actions, like the way he was able to make Maeve and Bernard calm down.

But to change storylines based purely on the power of suggestion seemed to take the realism out of the park. Why would Dr. Ford need so many scientists and storytellers if he could create the new storyline he's been working on with only his voice?

He can't.

More: The way Westworld introduced religion didn't go over well with fans

The storylines have to be carefully programmed. The show has constantly reinforced this through their discussions of creating meaningful backstories. That's why Teddy was given his memories with Wyatt. That's why Bernard's time with his son was so significant.

This one hitch in the show wasn't enough to throw me off this episode entirely as so many good things happened. The storyline with Teddy and the Man in Black has me itching to know what's next. Dolores' memories are getting stronger the closer to the center of the maze she gets, and we even saw a past where she interacted with a different programming of Maeve. It was fantastic!

I even enjoyed Maeve's storyline, despite the moments where she changed the minds of her host friends with a simple sentence. The show definitely could have done without that addition to the plot.

More: The Man in Black might not be the real villain of Westworld

It might not even matter after tonight's episode, though. There is a good chance Maeve is about to be lobotomized. I don't think that's going to happen, though. She already proved that she is really good at playing possum. Also, she can kill now so she won't go down easily.

Do you think Maeve will manage to fight her way out of Westworld? Did you buy into the fact that she can have such power over the other hosts?

Before you go, check out our slideshow below.

Westworld slideshow
Image: HBO

The timing of Katie Holmes & Jamie Foxx's reunion is very suspicious

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There's a newly reconciled couple to give us hope that 2016 wasn't a death sentence for every celeb relationship that we loved.

More: Now we'll never know the truth about Katie Holmes & Jamie Foxx's romance

Katie Holmes and Jamie Foxx, who have had a super-private romance going on for, like, three years, have apparently gotten back together after quietly breaking up in October.

They never went public with their relationship, but reports say that wasn't a mutual decision. Page Six wrote that the breakup actually happened because, after three years together, Holmes got fed up with waiting for Foxx to admit publicly that they were a couple.

"Jamie wants to continue to act like the carefree guy he is in public," an insider told the site. "Eventually, the question had to come about whether he was committed enough to the relationship."

More: Katie Holmes & Jamie Foxx had a romantic date — at a Barbra Streisand concert

Now, sources close to both Holmes and Foxx say they're happily back together.

But hold on.

Did they ever even actually break up?

Rumors have been flying around for years saying that part of Holmes' divorce agreement with Tom Cruise says she can't publicly date for some specific length of time. And considering Friday was the 10th anniversary of their wedding, it could be that the clause has finally run out. So maybe Holmes and Foxx never did actually break up, but they had to pretend to so Holmes wouldn't violate her contract. Now that the contract may be up, they're suddenly "back together." It may be far-fetched, but the timing is a little too convenient, don't you think?

More: Katie Holmes' silence has an expiration date & it's not good for Tom Cruise

Do you think Katie Holmes and Jamie Foxx ever really broke up?

Before you go, check out our slideshow below.

jamie foxx katie holmes slideshow
Image: Adriana M. Barraza/WENN; C.Smith/WENN
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