Chef Seis Kamimura breezed through his first several rounds on Chopped: Beat Bobby Flay, but as the judges have constantly reminded us, beating a dozen chefs is nothing like going up against the great Bobby Flay. He's not immune to mistakes, however, and he made a few significant ones tonight, to the point that many fans belief Kamimura should have won.

More: Chopped —Beat Bobby Flay switches it up with a brother vs. brother battle

This was by far the closest showdown on Chopped: Beat Bobby Flay. Both chefs were tasked with the incredibly difficult challenge of creating bibimbap, an iconic rice-based Korean dish. Bibimbap is Kamimura's signature dish, although Flay also has some experience with it. But this wasn't any bibimbap creation; in true Chopped fashion, the contestants had to use a few very unusual ingredients.These included ribeye steaks, black garlic, fish maw (dried fish bladders) and a pina colada.

Both chefs rose to the challenge, although they suffered multiple setbacks. The biggest of these was pure clumsiness; Kamimura knocked over a pot and essentially had to start over, with less than half an hour to go. He didn't have a chance to clean up his mess, which presented a hazard to both chefs. Flay slipped and almost fell, but managed to right himself, only sacrificing a few eggs.

More: Bobby Flay should have addressed Food Network Star contestant's racist comments

The results of this challenge were incredibly disappointing. It all came down to rice versus meat. Kamimura did an amazing job with the steak, but his rice just was not up to par. Conversely, Flay's strengths were his rice and mushrooms, both of which were complimented heavily by the judges. In the end, the problematic meat from Flay's dish was deemed less of an issue than Kamimura's rice.

We don't agree with the judges' choice, for a few reasons. First, they didn't seem to take presentation into account. Kamimura worked hard to create an edible work of art, whereas Flay's dish looked thrown together. The other big issue is a little more open to interpretation: Is rice or meat more important in a dish such as bibimbap? Yes, rice is one of the defining elements of this dish, but flavorful meat should trump mastered rice, especially when the presentation of said rice is so problematic.

More: A broken ice cream machine changed lives on Chopped — Beat Bobby Flay

The other reason we wanted Kamimura to win is pure necessity. He has a family to raise, and frankly, he needs the money more than Flay needs another victory on his resume. Yes, the competition is ultimately decided on merit, but with the two so close, it would have been nice to see Kamimura go home with a victory.

Do you think Bobby Flay deserved to win tonight's bibimbap challenge? Comment and share your opinion below.

Donald Trump is president, the Cubs won the World Series and Cornelius Ortiz is no longer the chief villain on Project Runway. The world is a crazy place, and if there's one constant, it's Erin Robertson's long coats, which she constructs week after week with diminishing returns.

More: There's more to Project Runway's Cornelius Ortiz than his bad attitude

Robertson is no longer the show's darling, and clearly, she's not handling the continued critiques well. Her work on tonight's episode was one of the biggest disappointments yet, and just another in a surprisingly long line of letdowns. This is all proof that she deserved the ax last week and not Cornelius Ortiz (who was mercifully saved).

This week's challenge was the cutest of the season, as it involved the contestants' loved ones. Designing for finicky family members can be a challenge, but the contestants did their best. Robertson decided that her mom could use her signature long coat, which has proven successful on the runway on multiple occasions. At some level, it makes sense to stick with your talent, but the judges don't look kindly on repetitiveness.

More: Brik Allen did not deserve his early Project Runway elimination

Now, if Robertson had produced a stellar look, the judges probably could have overlooked the whole one-trick pony thing. Unfortunately, her design just didn't work on the runway. She combined the usual coat with a summery dress — a concept that took her ages to explain.

The judges were not impressed by Robertson's concept. Before it even hit the runway, Tim Gunn said it felt too immature. The other judges regarded the look as a winter coat over a summer dress. This mixing of the seasons just didn't work.

Any other week, Robertson probably would have been sent home, but she really lucked out this time. Jenni Riccetti struggled with a super indecisive subject, making it difficult for her to get started. Her mother's mixed messages ultimately resulted in a look even more disjointed than Robertson's.

More: Tim Gunn was right to save Cornelius Ortiz on Project Runway

Riccetti's runway look was all wrong, but at least she tried something different. Robertson has coasted on her coats and embroidery week after week, and it's getting old. She needs to step it up, or she'll be the next designer sent packing.

Are you sick of Erin Robertson's coats on Project Runway? Comment and share your opinion below.

I didn't know my son had special needs when I brought him and his twin sister home. I was told he was perfect. He certainly looked perfect to me—that is, until he started projectile vomiting after every feeding, and screaming 12 hours a day nonstop. It wasn't just any scream, but the scream that signals your child is in agony. I couldn't help him. "It's colic," the doctor said. "I know it's hard, but hang in there. He'll stop in a few weeks." But he didn't stop. He got worse.

More: Calling my son developmentally delayed pretends that he can 'catch up'

And so did I. I spent the following year drowning in depression and anxiety.

It wasn't just stress. Sure, there was plenty of stress. After all, I had newborn twins, one of whom had "severe colic," and my mother's intuition was telling me my son really had special needs. And there was no way for me to help him. But it was more than that.

The sleep deprivation alone landed me in the hospital twice with chest pains. Then I started losing a lot of weight in a very short time. Most of the time I weigh 165 pounds, but by the time the twins were three months old, I weighed 130, because what I was going through was so intense I couldn't digest solid food.

"It's postpartum depression," the doctors said. "Here's an antidepressant, sleeping pills and Xanax. Good luck!"

I took the pills for a while, but for fear of becoming addicted I switched to vodka. (Because, after all, alcohol's not addictive. Yeah, right.) By his sixth month I was drinking half a bottle a night just so I could sleep. Didn't even bother with a glass; I drank it right out of the bottle.

On the rare occasions I left the house, people I barely knew would stop to tell me how fantastic I looked. "There is no way you just gave birth to twins! What's your secret?" everyone asked. I can't remember what lies I told, but I can remember thinking, "How can I look so great when I've never felt so ugly?"

I think a different type of woman would have thought, "Oh my God, they don't see it. They don't! I look happy on the outside. The agony doesn't show. I can hide it and no one will ever know!" But not me. Each time I accepted a compliment on my appearance, I sank deeper into the abyss.

As I said "thank you!" over and over again, I thought, "Please see through me. I'm dying. I don't want to live anymore, and I don't want him to live, either. For months I've been lying him down at night thinking, 'Please, please don't wake up.'"

Meanwhile, my son still struggled to sleep. He could not sleep on his back, no matter how long or hard he cried. But the doctors insisted I could not put him on his stomach because of SIDS. Finally, my mother said, "You and all three of your siblings slept on your stomach, and you didn't die. He's exhausted, Rachel. For Christ's sake, put him on his stomach!" So I turned him over, and he fell asleep instantly. I can remember feeling euphoric in that moment. I'm certain my mother thought it was relief she saw on my face, but it wasn't. It was pure joy at the thought he might die peacefully in his sleep.

I didn't know it, but by the time Kevin was four months old, I had become psychotic. Terrifying thoughts swim around your head when you are psychotic, but because you're psychotic, they sound perfectly reasonable. Thoughts like:

More: It took me years to let go of the shame of my depression

"Maybe I should suffocate him. I'd be doing everyone a favor, right? I'd go to jail and it would be hard for Chris to raise the girls alone, but at least Kevin and I would be out of his life, and he deserves that. I can do this, it's the right thing, for everyone, even Kevin."

I can't tell you how many times I walked over to that bassinet, determined to push his head down into the mattress, only to scoop him up in my arms and beg his forgiveness.

"I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry!" I'd cry. "Please forgive me, please!" And then I would rock him as tenderly as my withered arms could. "You deserve so much better than me. I don't know why God sent you into the arms of such a monster. That's what I am: a monster. You're so unhappy, and it's my fault. If I loved you enough, you'd be happy. Everything would be right for you if only you hadn't been born to me."

One night, I cried so hard I vomited onto the hardwood. Nothing came out but a pool of bile. I can remember staring at it as my tears and snot mixed in. I ran my finger through this mixture (which felt like paint) and started to draw with it as I talked to Kevin. "Want me to paint a pretty picture? This is a mommy, a good mommy holding her baby. She doesn't want to die, this mommy. She loves her baby. She doesn't think about killing him. It's not your fault, Kevin. It's mine, because I'm nothing like her." Then I felt my head rush, so I put him back in bed just before I collapsed.

This happened to me nine years ago. Today, I understand I wasn't suffering from postpartum depression—I was being eaten alive by postpartum psychosis, a debilitating mental illness.

I knew I was sick, but I didn't recognize the severity or understand the danger of my condition, so I hid it, well, from my husband, family, and friends. Some of the greatest actresses of our day don't have a gold statue, just a life they think they have to lie to protect. I'm a good liar, but I'm an excellent actress. For over a year, I put on one hell of a show.

At 12 months, when he still couldn't crawl, walk, or make sound, Early Intervention agreed to assess Kevin and he qualified for speech, occupational, and physical therapy. He was finally getting the help he needed—and at long last, so was I. Once he was able to move, Kevin became a much happier baby, and I could leave him with a sitter once a week to see the psychiatrist who saved my life. I stopped drinking. I stopped taking pills. I got a little better every day, and so did he.

I've forgiven myself for all of it. I know now it wasn't my fault. The exact cause of postpartum psychosis has not been determined, but it's believed to be a combination of genes, psychological factors, and life stressors (such as malnutrition and sleeplessness).

If you're thinking the terrible things I was nine years ago, it's not your fault either—but you MUST get help. I could have saved myself a year of anguish if I'd been honest with my family about what I was feeling, thinking, and considering, but I was terrified. Please be braver than I was.

450 children are killed every year by their parents. More than a third of all victims are under a year old and were killed by their mother. When mothers kill, they are far more likely to kill children under the age of 1 than children of any other age. Nearly 40 percent of all children killed by their mothers were less than a year old.

Make no mistake:  I am NO better, NO different, than any mother who killed her child as a result of untreated mental illness. Kevin is alive because I had a husband who loved me, family, and health insurance, and because I live in a state where Early Intervention Services are virtually free. I was lucky—that's it—and most women aren't.

Someone loves you. Call them, now, and tell them the truth about what's going on in your head. Take that first step for you, and your baby, in honor of the 450 children who are killed every year by their parents.

More: My fiancé loved me despite being at the lowest point of my life

If you suspect someone might be considering suicide, or you have struggled with those thoughts yourself, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).

Former Fox News anchor Megyn Kelly is not holding back about president-elect Donald Trump in her memoir, set to be released Nov. 15.

More: Lena Dunham helps us find a little bit of hope in the post-election madness

The New York Times has already published its review of the book, including some passages and details about the really creepy encounters Kelly has had with Trump throughout the election season.

Kelly reveals in her book that very early in the election season, even before the first Republican candidate debate that she moderated, Trump was making threats based on things she said about him on her show, The Kelly File.

"'I almost unleashed my beautiful Twitter account against you,' she says he told her, 'and I still may,'" the Times review reads. Then there's the way Trump treated Kelly when he heard that her first question at the debate she was moderating was going to be directed at him — about the way he had called women dogs, slobs and disgusting animals.

More: It's Trump protesters vs. Bethenny Frankel on Twitter right now

"He called Fox executives, saying he’d heard that her first question 'was a very pointed question directed at him,'" the Times writes. "This disconcerted her, because it was true: It was about his history of using disparaging language about women."

But nothing is nearly as creepy as the story Kelly tells that seems to be implying that Trump tried to poison her before the debate.

She writes that, on the day of the debate, her "overzealous, suspiciously enthusiastic driver" gave her a cup of coffee, and she became extremely sick once she drank it.

"Once it was in her hand, she drank it. And within 15 minutes, she was violently ill, vomiting so uncontrollably that it was unclear if she’d be able to go on and help moderate that evening. It was so bad that she kept a trash pail beneath her desk throughout the debate, just in case. Ms. Kelly never says outright that someone tried to poison her. (A stomach bug was going around, she notes.) But the episode spooked her enough that she shared it later with Roger Ailes and a lawyer friend of his. Foul play? Again: She reports. You decide."

It sounds like something out of a bad action novel. But then, considering the lows to which Trump has stooped throughout his short political career, we can't believe it, but we think this could be true.

More: Celebrities wage war with People magazine over its Donald Trump cover

Before you go, check out our slideshow below.

I read a lot of essays on sites like this about what it’s like to be a teen mom. But I don’t identify with many of those teen moms because I'm not white or privileged.

I wasn't shunned from mommy groups — because there weren't any mommy groups for brown girls from the hood.

I wasn't shunned at all, actually. My experience involved a lot of looks and stares from 1996 society, but my family and friends were very supportive. Mainly because getting pregnant at 16 in a brown urban neighborhood was not uncommon and therefore not something that was seen as a complete life-ruining experience.

After all, my grandmother had my mother when she was 16 and my then-boyfriend’s mother had him when she was 19. It wasn't until my son was much older that I felt the social stigma I often read about and by then I really didn't care. My kid was better than the college-educated mothers who turned their noses up at me because I was 21 with a 4-year-old and no dirty look or comment would change that. It still doesn't. Yes, it's annoying, but they're the ones who have to reflect on what they did or didn’t do to get on my level, not the other way around.

More: The hardest part of being a teen mom is how the world treats you

So while most pieces I read are sob stories about being a teen mom who never quite fit in, I realize how truly grateful I am that I had my son when I did. If given the chance to do it all over again, I wouldn't change a thing.

My 20-year-old son — who is studying biochemical engineering on a full-ride scholarship, incidentally — is supposed to be here. No doubt about it.

I would not take back putting my life and dreams on hold.

I would not takes back ruining my perfect body.

I would not take back the mental and emotional abuse from people who felt they were better than me because they had more to offer their children.

I would not take back the struggles we experienced and the mistakes we made along the way.

I would do it all over again because I know it was being 17 that allowed my son and I to bond in a way that women having children later in their lives struggle with all the time. When I’d walk him home from school in the winter, we could stop and play for hours in snow banks under train tracks, not worried that I had some work deadline or that my body couldn’t handle it. I was (and still am) Player 2 on co-op first-person-shooter games. Women who had their kids later in life now come to me for advice about what to do with their kids. Women with these great houses and careers, degrees and husbands. Women with the means to send their children to camps, Gymboree and My Gyms all ask me what I did to raise such an intelligent, thoughtful, caring and amazing human being.

In a world where there are books and blogs and experts telling you the right and wrong ways to raise children, from 1996 to 2014, all I relied on was what I knew about being a child/teenager myself. I used truth and love to raise my son. I accepted the fact that my life as I knew it was over and that I'd be making sacrifices in my attempt to raise a productive and positive member of society, which I know is what every parent comes to realize, but unlike most parents (my own included), I also made sure my son knew that.

More: Breaking your pregnancy news to a friend with infertility

When people ask me how I raised a child that is so incredible, I tell them that a) it was a group effort. We couldn't have done so without the help of the "village" (parents, friends, faculty and community). And b) I was a child forced to take on a very adult task, and I shared that experience with my son along the way. He saw the struggles and the tears that came with them and when he asked what was wrong, I told him. Whenever I was scared, he knew what was scaring me. Whenever I wanted to give up, he knew why. We grew up together, the three of us, kicking and screaming and laughing and loving the entire way. That's why we made it, because we did it together and didn't care if it was perfect.

Traditional doggy names can be fun, but you also don't want to be one of the 100 people at the dog park yelling, "Come, Rover, come!"

In this day and age, there are so many pop culture figures we can borrow from, including athletes, celebs, fictional characters, even your alcoholic drink of choice. It's almost hard not to pick a unique male dog name. Go to town on this list, and who knows — your own furry Mr. Fantastic might be right around the corner.

Unique dog names inspired by comic books

Superheroes are back with a vengeance. These names, inspired by some of our favorite heroes, villains and sidekicks, are suitable for any pup who knows his No. 1 job is to protect Mommy.

• Oliver
• Thor
• Loki
• Astro
• Doom
• Toxin
• Alfred
• Vertigo
• Warlock
• Spectre
• Gambit
• Mr. Fantastic

More: 200 Names for big dogs that have big heart

Unique dog names inspired by celebrities' babies

Celebrities never cease to amaze us with their ability to come up with the craziest names for their kids. Take a page out of their book, without the disbelieving stares, by unleashing your creativity on your pooch's name.

• Banjo
• Gunner
• Jagger
• Kai
• Jett
• Jax
• Ikhyd
• Bear
• Draco
• Denim
• Mowgli
• North

Unique dog names inspired by Urban dictionary

Slang is a part of our culture, so why can't you use it to inspire your pooch's name?

• Bobot
• Hipster
• Yolo
• Farkel
• Neckbeard
• Swag
• Pozer
• Soulja
• Porb
• Sleepy Bear
• DudeBro
• Bitcoin

Unique dog names inspired by beer

A dog is man's best friend. We have these names tapped for the pooch who never misses a game with Dad.

• Widmer
• Guinness
• Doppelbock
• Atwater
• Unidragon
• Hoegaarden
• Abner
• Zombie Dust
• Bad Boy
• Rasputin
• Blondie
• Murphy

More: 200 Adorable names for little dogs

Unique dog names inspired by athletes

Have a fur-baby who just can't slow down? Knock it out of the park with one of these athletic names.

• Ali
• MJ
• Lochte
• Yogi
• Peyton
• Manu
• Revis
• Griffey
• Dirk
• Deion
• Elway
• Tiger

Next Up: Unique dog names inspired by sports

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Unique dog names inspired by sports

To keep the sports metaphor going, we've also got some adorable names inspired by the sports themselves.

• Fenway
• Rambo
• Blitz
• Grinnell
• Grubber
• McNasty
• Red Zone
• Cashspiel
• Scrimmage
• Bolo
• Bronco
• Piston

Dog names inspired by Dictionary.com's word of the day

Maybe you'd like a name that shows off your mad crossword skills. These dog names, inspired by Dictionary.com's words of the day, shows your Words with Friends buddies you mean business.

• Hoodwink
• Mulligan
• Klaxon
• Cockalorum
• Galligaskins
• Inglenook
• Salchow
• Scrappy
• Blatherskite
• Slake
• Jamboree
• Slyboots

More: 97 Funny dog names based on pop culture puns

Dog names inspired by other animals

If your dog's personality might be more suited to another four-legged animal, he'll get along swimmingly with one of these names.

• Wabbit
• Phish
• Leopard
• Fennec
• Hedgehog
• Dingo
• Coyote
• Wombat
• Possum
• Tarantella
• Cub
• Foxy

Dog names inspired by automobiles

Gear-heads will love calling their pooches by these luxury names inspired by vehicles.

• Cooper
• Berlingo
• Ferrari
• Suzuki
• Bugatti
• Hyundai
• Renault
• Cadillac
• Aventador
• Jag
• Chevelle
• Herbie

Dog names inspired by exploration

From sailing the ocean blue to going boldly where no one has gone before, name your inquisitive little guy something inspired by exploration.

• Drake
• Aldrin
• Benedict
• Columbus
• Picard
• Pike
• Hyecho
• Hudson
• Pizarro
• Whymper
• Jacques
• Clark

Don't forget to pin this list!

Originally published February 2016. Updated November 2016.

Brad Pitt's custody battle with Angelina Jolie could get uglier.

More: Brad Pitt has reportedly been cleared on child abuse allegations

Earlier this week, it was revealed that the Los Angeles County Department of Children and Family Services is no longer investigating Pitt for child abuse. That investigation stemmed from allegations that Pitt acted inappropriately toward at least one of the six children he shares with Jolie while they were onboard the family's private jet, just before she quietly filed for divorce.

Jolie's rep released a statement following the DCFS decision to close the investigation.

"The job of the DCFS is to make sure the children are in a safe and secure situation," the statement said. "As we said earlier this week, childcare professionals encouraged a legal agreement accepted and signed by both sides that was in the best interest of the children. Angelina said from the beginning that she felt she had to take action for the health of the family and is relieved that after their 8-week involvement, the DCFS is now satisfied the safeguards are put in place that will allow the children to heal."

More: Brad Pitt's divorce "mistake" was actually carefully planned

But this definitely doesn't mean the battle over the children has ended. Jolie is still fighting for sole custody, and sources close to Pitt say he may have a secret weapon to help his case.

"We believe audio tapes exist of Angelina that would be absolutely dynamite against her if they were to be made public," one person reportedly close to Pitt told the London Sun. "Nobody wants to play dirty like that — it’s not good for the children — but Angelina and her team seem absolutely hell-bent on trying to discredit Brad in order to stop him getting joint custody."

The source also reiterated after the investigation into Pitt was closed that he has never hit any of his children, though he did have a heated argument with his 16-year-old son, Maddox.

More: Angelina Jolie is reportedly not going to make joint custody easy for Brad Pitt

Before you go, check out our slideshow below.

Thanksgiving is a holiday that anyone can celebrate with family and friends to give thanks for all of our blessings. While some may gather around the television to watch football, soap fans know there are some classic Thanksgiving episodes that we can never forget.

More: The real reasons some celebrities choose not to celebrate Thanksgiving

Whether the soaps are still on the air or just a distant memory, there are so many incredible moments from holidays gone by. Here are some of our favorites.

1. General Hospital — 1985: Frisco and Felicia

The ‘90s supercouple had so much heat onscreen, it’s no wonder Jack Wagner and Kristina Wagner married in real life. All of those lingering kisses and baby talk, it must have inspired them to start a family of their own. There’s nothing like a Thanksgiving spent in bed!

2. As the World Turns — 1999: Cutting the Hubbard squash

The Snyder family on As the World Turns had so many traditions, from visiting the family farm over Thanksgiving to cutting the Hubbard squash. They were your stereotypical American family that you felt like you knew. They were your neighbors you had over for cards on Friday nights, and they were the ones whom you shared your sorrows with. They felt like home.

More: We’re thrilled Vanessa Williams is bringing this legacy character back to DOOL

3. Days of Our Lives — 2004: Cassie is turned into a turkey piñata

If you aren’t familiar with this DOOL storyline — it’s not very festive; it’s downright gory. The Salem Stalker in the Thanksgiving episode killed Cassie Brady (Alexis Thorpe). Her body was promptly stuffed into a turkey piñata that was being battered with sticks by the kids of Salem.

Before you lose your holiday dinner, Cassie, along with the other Salem Stalker victims, is found alive after being held captive on a remote island. The story is more convoluted than that, but we want you to enjoy your Thanksgiving with a peaceful mind.

4. Another World — 1987: Mac’s annual Thanksgiving toast

Beloved soap veteran Douglass Watson is still missed even though he passed away in 1989. He gave some spectacular and touching speeches over the years on Another World. Those words written for his character, Mac, still resonate decades later.

“Dear family, how fortunate we are just to be able to say those words. How fortunate we are that the past year has given us the most precious gift of all — the gift of life itself.”

More: Interviews! B&B actors talk love triangles, legacy characters, social issues

5. The Bold and the Beautiful — 2014: Hope’s Thanksgiving Day tradition

Thanksgiving is a day of family traditions, so Hope (Kim Matula) wanted to have one day of normalcy in her unconventional life. Her ritual of asking her guests to say why you are thankful to the person next to you has become a great Bold and the Beautiful tradition. Matula may be gone from the show, but the practice has lived on.

6. All My Children — 1990: Kelly Ripa's debut

While so many of us now watch Kelly Ripa as a talk-show host, her acting career is firmly rooted in the soap-opera world.

Ripa made her debut as Hayley Vaughan on Thanksgiving Day 1990 with an unforgettable black Goth wig. The rebel without a cause was a fan favorite from the beginning, and viewers watched her fall in love on and offscreen with actor Mark Consuelos (Mateo Santos), whom she married in 1996 and had three children with.

7. General Hospital — 2010: Pizza at the Quartermaines

If you were expecting turkey on Thanksgiving, don’t ever go to the Quartermaine house for the holiday.

As Edward Quartermaine (John Ingle) explained in a 2010 GH episode, “Every year the birds get burned to a crisp or frozen or on the floor for the dog’s dinner.”

Some crazy escapade always happens, so the family has their favorite pizza place on speed-dial to save the day every single year. Ingle passed away in 2012 and his memory — and the infamous pizza — was honored in a tear-jerking Thanksgiving episode.

Before you go, check out our slideshow below.

Viral internet challenges have given us some of the most ridiculous and hilarious videos that have graced our screens over the past few years. These fads or memes, such as the planking challenge, the Harlem Shake and more recently the water bottle flip challenge, have not only provided us with a unique source of entertainment, but actually pushed our creativity in ways only the internet is capable of.

The newest sensation dominating social media right now is the #MannequinChallenge, and yes, it's exactly what it sounds like. This challenge involves a group of people freezing in place (like mannequins) while the camera moves around and shows you everyone's unique and impressive poses. Reportedly started by Twitter user @pvrity_ with a group of high school students from Jacksonville, Florida, this craze has hit viral status now that celebrities, sports teams, universities and even the Clinton campaign have got in on the action (or lack thereof).

Most #MannequinChallenge videos have been set to music, the unofficial anthem being hip-hop duo Rae Sremmurd's song "Black Beatles."

More: Hugh Hefner planks; fad is officially over

Michelle Obama and the Cleveland Cavaliers had a very presidential take.

The New York Giants tweeted out a video of the team participating in the locker room.

As did Penn State.

More: The evolution of Beyoncé: How she became Queen Bey

The trio from Destiny's Child gave us major feels with their take.

Hillary Clinton and her crew even posted a video — from their private plane with a guest appearance by Bon Jovi.

More: Beyoncé isn't the only female superstar voting for Hillary Clinton

These 4-year-olds attempt the challenge and it's the cutest thing we've ever seen.

Keraun Harris tweeted out this super-creative video to R. Kelly's "Trapped in the Closet."

Blac Chyna and Rob managed to find time to participate while giving birth.

Adele Instagrammed a Western-themed video.

The Victoria's Secret models gave us a peak into their workouts with their video.

Of course Ellen DeGeneres got involved.

And the cast and crew of Dancing with the Stars actually stood still for once.

Not going to lie — as creative as these videos have been, they are actually a little bit creepy!

Did you participate in the #MannequinChallenge? Post your video or link below!

Alec Baldwin made his views on Donald Trump's election victory very clear on Twitter this week, and his wife Hilaria also turned to social media to respond to the result — by way of an open letter to her 3-year-old daughter Carmen Gabriela.

More: Donald Trump's tax plan will hurt single moms like me

Alongside an Instagram picture of Carmen wearing a Rapunzel crown and holding a Disney princess bag, Baldwin posted a lengthy caption, which begins, "My little woman, my little lady… my princess, my smart, brilliant, bright future." She goes on to warn her young daughter about falling for "misogynistic thoughts and statements" which seem to be "flying around these days — in such high places of power."

"You are too good for this," Baldwin continues. "We all are. Every woman is. Feeling sexy, attractive, special, and wanted is only meaningful if it comes from the right person. You don’t need that attention from anyone who doesn’t respect you wholeheartedly."

More: What I want my white sons to know about this election

Baldwin, who is also mom to sons Leonardo Angel Charles, 8 weeks, and Rafael Thomas, 16 months, revealed her fears on Instagram the evening before the election results. "I find tonight that I am nervous and praying for her future," she wrote alongside photo of her sleeping daughter. "Vote tomorrow with your heart. No hate, no anger… don’t let anyone tell you how to feel or think. This is one powerful decision that is all yours."

At a time when millions of parents are struggling to figure out how to explain the outcome of the election to their kids, Baldwin's words might help point them in the right direction. Her message is twofold: Remain true to yourself and those who treat you with love and respect, and never let anyone put you down because of your gender.

"Anyone who doesn’t treat you with the utmost respect is not worth you time," she finishes. "Always be kind, confident. Just nod and walk in the other direction — towards true power, happiness and grace. Waste no energy. Own your amazingness… stick together with those who see you and treat you brilliantly. So you can do the same for them #karma #love."

More: Dear daughter: I won't sugarcoat a Trump presidency for you

The 200th episode of The Big Bang Theory last February was amazing and made us love those science geeks we just can't get enough of that much more.

While the nerd jokes did not disappoint in the 200th installment (and the episode wouldn't have been complete without Adam West poking fun at Ben Affleck), there was a bigger message at play — and we were just reminded of the deeper meaning after learning the heartbreaking reason why Sheldon always knocks three times in the Oct. 17 ep.

The 200th episode was all about the psychology behind Sheldon's behavior, and how he was tortured by bullies as a child. The show dug deep into the mind of a bullied child, and how horrible bullying is because no kid ever deserves it.

I still remember the kid in my elementary school who everyone picked on. Kevin. He had chapped lips and was simply too different for people to accept. He was tattled on, bullied in the worst ways and the butt of every joke. Twenty years later, I still wonder how that has followed him through the years.

More: New The Big Bang Theory news could mean Season 10 is the last

So when Sheldon confessed why he hates his birthday in the 200th episode — because his twin sister and her friends would tell him Batman was coming to his party and then tease and torture him when he never showed — I thought of Kevin and the emotional scars he’s probably still carrying with him. Sheldon tries to be strong and lets the clan throw him a party. Leonard even gets Batman to finally show up (enter Adam West), but Sheldon immediately retreats to the "facilities" after having a minor PTSD flashback to his previous birthdays.

Of all people, guess who was the one to boost his spirits? The one person who probably would have bullied Sheldon the same way his sister did. Penny.

"I hate that if I was there I would had tortured you, too," she tells Sheldon. "There was a time I never would have been friends with someone like you and now you're one of my favorite people. So if what you need is to spend it in the bathroom then I'm happy to do it with you."

More: The Big Bang Theory's coitus episode proved sex is just like Star Wars

And the next part is key.

"But everyone will think I’m weird," Sheldon responds.

Penny aptly points out, "Sweetie, you are weird. Everyone knows you're weird but they're all still here."

And that’s what we all need to remember when we feel like life is one big "bazinga" and the joke's on us. We’re all weird and we’re all a little different. The key is to find people who choose to be your friend anyway and forget the rest.

More: Why The Big Bang Theory Sheldon Cooper spin-off isn't the best idea

If you're a Kevin or a Sheldon, a Leonard or a Wolowitz, for that matter, try really hard to remember that no person (no Penny) and no dream is too good for you.

Before you go, check out our slideshow below.

When you go through cancer and you lose your hair you become easily recognized as a person unwell. What happens when you still feel poorly but your hair grows back and you are less identifiable as a sick person? People start saying the most ridiculous things. Some are well-meaning for sure, but others just callous.

Here is a list of 10 things never to say to a cancer patient regardless of where they are in their course of treatment and why.

1. You look great, so thin!

The cancer diet is not one anyone would wish happen to anybody. Looking like a skeleton is not a desired look!

2. I just love your hair!

It could be a wig.

3. Looks like you bounced back stronger than ever!

This is usually from a person who has no association with cancer, or doesn’t care about you.

4. It’s been months — certainly you can’t still be feeling unwell?

Cancer treatments can go on for a year and one of the lasting side effects is fatigue.

5. Why are you so tired all the time?

The side effect of fatigue can last longer than the course of treatments.

6. I thought everyone lost weight with cancer?

Many drugs have a side effect of puffiness. Some cancers actually cause you to gain weight because the body is trying to survive by storing fat!

7. Do you smoke? Don’t you exercise? Do you eat processed food?

Many cancers are not caused by lifestyle choices.

8. Is there cancer in your family?

Many cancers are not hereditary. Did I get to choose my genetic makeup?

9. My aunt, uncle, relative, neighbor, etc. had cancer. They are still alive!

This is well meaning as encouragement or a shout to get on with it.

10. God never gives us more than we can handle.

Why would God give me cancer and not some pervert?

The tiles at the Union Square subway station are covered in Post-it notes with beautiful messages of healing and hope on them right now. New Yorkers — 79 percent of whom voted for Hillary Clinton — wrote short notes of support to one another, vowing to lift each other up no matter what, especially those who feel marginalized and bullied by Trump. And as a result of these images going viral, young women are sticking supportive and inspirational Post-Its to their high school bathroom tiles and mirrors, as New York reports. Yes.

It doesn’t stop there. A new measure to signal that you are a safe person and pledge to support anyone facing discrimination has hit U.S. soil as well. As Good reports, people started wearing safety pins after Brexit to show support of marginalized groups, and the idea has spread to this country after the election. People are sticking safety pins on their clothing to denote their solidarity with each other — with anyone who feels scared or alone at the prospect of Donald Trump being president, with anyone who might need a protective ally in the weeks and months going forward.

If you want to join in either measure, all you have to do is clip a safety pin to your sweater or jacket — and dash off a sweet Post-it and stick it on the first public mirror or tile you see. While you’re at it, don’t forget to write a message of hope for yourself and stick it in your bathroom at home. Kindness through all of this is key.

I have something to tell you, and I think you'd better sit down to hear it. Already sitting down? OK, good. McDonald's just made a Nutella burger. It's called the Sweet con Nutella.

Now before you get excited, no, it's not available in the U.S. You can only get it at McCafés in Italy. And no, it's not made with beef. It's just a generous schmear of Nutella between two buns.

I know what you're thinking right now. I can make that! We have the technology. I could go to McDonald's and order a hamburger without the beef.

More: 17 ways Nutella could be waiting for you under that lid

"Welcome to McDonald's. May I take your order?"

"Yes, I'd like a regular hamburger. But with nothing in it. No beef or toppings."

"... Ssso, just the buns?"

"Yes. Please."

"That's $1.29. Please pull up to the window."

"Wait! Make that five regular hamburgers with nothing in them."

I mean, you're just having one? Please. Have it your way. Sweetie.

Before you go, check out our slideshow below.

Jennifer Aniston, whose estranged mom died just a few months ago at age 79, is reportedly worried she's about to lose her dad, too.

More: Jennifer Aniston would like you to stop painting her as a sob story

Reports say that John Aniston, an 83-year-old soap opera legend, is in increasingly failing health and that Jennifer is trying to get him to live with her in his final days.

"John is way less mobile than he used to be, and Jen’s concerned about him," a source told Radar Online. "He spends most of his time outside of Los Angeles these days and that means Jen finds it difficult to see him because of her busy schedule."

More: All the insults Chelsea Handler's thrown at Angelina Jolie over the years

Jennifer has always been close to her father, despite purposefully keeping as much distance between herself and her mother as possible. Now that John is in poor health, Jennifer is reportedly trying to convince him to move closer so that she can see him as often as possible.

"Jen’s tried inviting John to stay with her and her husband in L.A., but he’s not in a position to travel much so she has to make do largely with phone calls," the source revealed.

And with the holidays coming up, the insider says that Jennifer wants to make the most of whatever time she has to spend with her father.

"She wants to spend Thanksgiving and Christmas with her dad," the source said. "She adores him and is desperate to treasure every last moment they have together."

Here's hoping that the reports aren't true and that Jennifer Aniston's dad stays healthy.

More: Courteney Cox wants us to leave Jennifer Aniston out of Brangelina's drama

Before you go, check out our slideshow below.

Thanksgiving is a chance to spend quality time with family and friends, and it's the perfect excuse to overeat pie, but for many of us, it's also a holiday during which we're forced to contend with toxic behavior from people we care about. It's hard enough to put up with a controlling mother or an aggressively political Uncle Frank when you're single and childless, but once you become a parent, protecting both yourself and your kids can seem an almost insurmountable challenge.

More: Our blended family works because I respect both my partner and his ex

Many parents have relatives who disagree with the way they're raising their children. Whether it's an aunt who refuses to believe your child really does have a gluten allergy or an overbearing grandma who purposely breaks your rules, it can be difficult to assert your parental authority and keep your boundaries for your kids in check while still maintaining a peaceful, picture-perfect Thanksgiving gathering.

"It’s very hard in our culture at Thanksgiving," says Dr. Jephtha Tausig-Edwards, a clinical psychologist based in Manhattan. "You have that beautiful Norman Rockwell drawing from the Saturday Evening Post that shows the family gathered around the table, and everyone’s friends with everyone. Well, we're related to people, but it doesn’t always mean we get along with them."

You can't control how others behave, but there are some ways to make the holiday less stressful for you and your kids. Here are some of "Dr. Jeph's" best tips on how to handle friends and family members who won't stop interfering with the way you parent.

1. Make a plan for addressing specific issues in advance

If you have ongoing parenting disagreements with a family member, chances are you know what's coming well before you get to the dinner table. The sheer dread of these interactions might give you night terrors in the weeks leading up to Turkey Day, but they're also a chance to prepare yourself and your kids for what's about to go down. "You can certainly modify your behavior and thoughtfully consider what you want to do to address conflicts ahead of time," says Dr. Jeph. "For example, you can say something to your child like, 'I know Grandma always wants to give you milk, but she doesn’t understand that you have a lactose intolerance. You know she’s going to offer milk, so please just say, 'no thank you.'”

Obviously, younger kids can't articulate these kinds of responses, but children 6 or older can certainly be enlisted to help in their own care and enforce the rules.

More: Parents share how they told their kids about President Trump

2. Stay calm, even when you feel shamed or disrespected

"With a lot of stuff, the less weight you give it, the less importance your child will give it as well," says Dr. Jeph. For example, if a grandparent gets flustered because your child got a bad grade at school, forgot to use proper manners or is still using a pacifier at age 3, it's OK to make light of it and to diffuse the situation in a positive way. Advises Dr. Jeph, "You can always look at your child and say, 'Isn’t Grandma being kind of silly right now?' You can wink, or sort of turn it into a little joke, because if you react like, 'How you can say that? You’re undermining my parental authority,' like it’s a real threat, then your kid’s going to absorb it and take what Grandma and Grandpa are saying more seriously too."

3. Don't hesitate to redirect inappropriate conversations

Sometimes people disrespect your boundaries simply by being inappropriate in front of your children. This Thanksgiving, in particular, there's likely to be intense political discussion, and it can turn ugly pretty damn quickly. "If someone wants to talk about sex, politics or religion and be very confrontational, you can always redirect," says Dr. Jeph. "You can say, 'You know, we’ve got younger kids here. Maybe we can talk about something else.'"

If they're not amenable to redirection, you can also tell the family member you're interested in discussing what they're talking about, but you want to do it without an audience. If things really go south, it's also OK to excuse yourself and your child. Says Dr. Jeph, "You’re not chained to the table, and if things are very uncomfortable, that may mean it's time to take a break."

More: 7 moms talk about turning boys into good men

4. Be honest with your kids about what's going on

Grandparents, aunts, uncles and other relatives are important figures in our kids' lives. We don't ever want to poison our children against people, but sometimes we do need to acknowledge that there's a conflict. For example, if you have a family member who drinks too much and gets belligerent and scary at the Thanksgiving table and reliably refuses to change their habits, you don't want to pretend it isn't happening. "Kids are going to put the pieces together," says Dr. Jeph. "You don’t have to make a big deal about it. You can just say, 'Aunt Polly gets a little upset at Thanksgiving,' and then go into another room. When they're older you can say, 'Your aunt does have too much wine. It's not a good idea, but she doesn’t want to stop, so when she gets like that, let's take a break."

Whatever you do, don't lie. "As one of my mentors said, 'As far as children go, they’re not stupid, they’re just smaller than we are,'" explains Dr. Jeph. "You don’t want to sweep things under the rug, because that reduces your credibility as a parent."

5. Don't be afraid to set and enforce firm boundaries

It's not always easy to confront people you love. If you have a good relationship with someone who's crossing your boundaries or behaving inappropriately around your kids, you can try talking to them calmly and privately. But if talking isn't an option, sometimes you have to take more decisive action. If someone just isn't getting that you're uncomfortable with how they relate to your child, it's OK to limit the time they spend together, make sure they're only around your child when you're present or even make other plans for Thanksgiving. "If somebody is very entrenched in their behavior and really doesn't wish to change, we can’t make them change," says Dr. Jeph. "It's OK to forgive yourself and give yourself permission to set clear boundaries. The bottom line is that, as parents, the safety and well-being of our children is paramount."

In the eye of the Trump Storm, a friend asked me, how do you find your center?

I told her, “I turn the lights off. Step in the shower. Hug my knees. And, I mouth P E A C E, one letter at a time.”

Since the election, I’ve been shower-praying more and more. News of violence litters my Facebook feed. Last night, I watched a video of a Trump Supporter hurling the word N*gger into the ether. This morning, I read a teacher’s report of Muslim children fearful that they are unwanted—hated—by half the country. And what can the teacher say? Can she tell these children in good faith—you have no reason to be afraid?

A world in mourning. A world exulted. How can this be?

More: I'm afraid for my kids after the election, but I will still teach them love

Some say it has always been this way.

Trayvon Martin.

Philando Castile.

Michael Brown.

These names are a part of us. No one can say they didn’t see. We live in the seeing era. You can watch Michael beg for air. You can hear Trayvon’s murderer chase his victim. You can see Philando’s girlfriend scream. And yet, no justice.

Is this the dream Martin Luther King Jr. had in mind? Does one victory—a black man rising to the highest office—cancel out millions of losses?

We knew what was happening at Trump’s rallies. No one criminalized the racial slurs or the violent ejection of minorities. Instead, we laughed. We posted satirical commentary — because this shouldn’t be taken seriously. To take it seriously would mean not only seeing, but believing that our roads aren’t golden. That every little girl and every little boy is not judged by the content of their character. And now we have to tell our children the truth.

More: Dear daughter: I won't sugarcoat a Trump presidency for you

I spend a lot of time seeking quiet, nothingness, peace. This means I miss appointments; I run late; I let people down.

But why couldn’t you come? Where have you been? They ask.

In the days following Trump’s election, it has become acceptable to respond… "Because I’ve been weeping."

It’s true that I have been. It’s also true that I cried in the weeks before the election, tormented by my racial ambiguity, weary of the what are you questions. It’s also true that I cried in the years preceding, every time my life as a biracial woman aligned more closely with the statistics of my less privileged heritage.

There is a line, more real than any wall, that encloses every human experience. Our lives are eternal dances, step by step, we edge closer to our invisible lines, to our partner’s internal music. We keep finding new ways to listen. We conduct surveillance. We ask questions. We live tweet our changing status. We record the last breath, the final plea. But somehow we see and hear each other less and less. How can this be?

The truth is I’ve never found my center. The truth is no matter what my DNA says, my pale skin has saved me again and again. As it has yours. And your neighbor’s. Just as black skin claimed Trayvon’s life. And yours. And your neighbor’s. Color matters. In ways some of us will never know and too many of us will always know.

The word “trump” means a card “chosen to rank above the others, which can win a trick." Trump is President.

Now we must finally listen in ways we always should have. Not with screens, but with silence. Not to words, but to hearts.

More: If kids admire anything about Trump, I hope it's this

A Thanksgiving fun run is a great, healthy way to spend family time over the holiday, but just like anything in a parents’ life, running a race with kids involves its own particular considerations. I spoke with Boston-area running coaches (and moms) Lisa Reichmann and Julie Sapper about how to make it the best experience possible for adults and kids.

Do: Be realistic about your kid’s likelihood or ability to run a 5K

If parents and kids go into a Turkey Trot just hoping to have fun and finish, there is less likelihood of frustration (and then tears). Based on the kids she’s coached, Sapper says that roughly around second and third grade is when kids can reasonably run a mile, and that fourth and fifth grade and up is when kids can more reasonably handle a 5K. Many Thanksgiving races have a shorter kid race, and if you’re not sure what your kid can handle, then sign up for the shorter one. “You want them to come out of the race feeling accomplished and feeling proud of themselves and feeling positive about the experience of running a race,” says Sapper.

Don’t: Forget it’s a fun run

There should be no pressure on kids to finish a Thanksgiving race within a certain time, say the coaches. Reichmann has observed parents chiding kids who stop to walk by saying things like, “Hurry up; we’re going to lose.” This, she says, is how kids “get turned off by running and have bad memories.” Instead, let kids take walk breaks when they want, utilize step counting and visual cues, which she says are often effective motivators: “Let’s take five steps and then run to that garbage can over there!”

Don’t: Let kids carb-load right before the race

Often, Reichmann says, parents let kids eat right before a race, which results in stomach cramps. Instead, give your kids something easily digestible (toast with peanut butter, for instance) no less than two hours before the race.

Do: Have the one piece of gear that matters

While not every parent has the bandwidth to get kids fitted for shoes at a local running store, at the very least, the kids’ shoes should be made for running. “I wouldn’t want my kid running in their stylish converse or sketchers,” says Sapper.

Don’t: Be scared of inclement weather

You don’t need perfect weather in order to run a Turkey Trot. In fact, Reichmann says, “The kids can tolerate weather better than we can.” Just bring the right gear and plan accordingly. Wait indoors or in your car if you can before the start time and make sure to have warm, dry clothes for the kids after the run. “Gloves and a hat are the most important for keeping their extremities warm,” says Sapper. For rain, she adds, bring a hat with a brim to keep water out of the eyes. And make sure to be extra careful of slippery spots during snowy Thanksgiving runs.

Do: Find the right stroller if running with an infant

Good news! You can take a baby on a Turkey Trot, and you don’t need to buy a special stroller to do so. As long as your baby can easily hold her head up, she’s ready to roll. If you don’t have a stroller with large tires (it doesn’t have to be a jogging stroller specifically, but an umbrella stroller, for instance, would not work well), Reichmann recommends asking at your local runners club or parents community if they have one you can borrow. Practice ahead of time, she advises, to make sure both you and baby are comfortable with it. Don’t forget to pack a bottle for race day!

Do: Hang back

The coaches’ main piece advice? If you’ve got a stroller or a kid running with you, hang back. If you stay to the right, faster runners can more easily pass — and assume most runners will be faster than you. “It’s really tricky when kids line up in the front of the elite runners,” says Reichmann. Even though Turkey Trots are fun races, there are runners who take them seriously. It’s great to have enthusiastic kids, but in order to avoid getting trampled, Reichmann says, “Make sure you’re running alongside people of similar pace.” 

Arrival, starring Amy Adams and Jeremy Renner, is far from your typical sci-fi flick. Lacking any major battle scenes, laser beams or little green men, this is a quiet, cerebral film that focuses on language and communication — and may leave your brain hurting trying to decipher its scholarly concepts and unusual structure. Here's what you need to know.

1. Arrival is based on a short story by Ted Chiang

"Story of Your Life" is a sci-fi novella by Chiang that won the 2000 Nebula Award and the 1999 Sturgeon Award. Screenwriter Eric Heisserer (Lights Out), recently told SheKnows that he is obsessed with linguistics and was eager to adapt the story into a movie.

2. What is the study of linguistics?

In Arrival, Dr. Louise Banks (Amy Adams), is a linguist. This means she studies language using a scientific process that goes beyond just learning how to speak multiple languages. Linguists study how different languages are structured, how they vary (are they read left to right like English, or right to left like Arabic?), how they influence our behavior and how language shapes our perception of our surroundings.

More: Everything you missed on your first watch of Doctor Strange

3. Sapir-Whorf hypothesis

The movie Arrival was heavily influenced by the concept of linguistic relativity, also called the Sapir-Whorf hypothesis, that was first published in 1940 by linguists Edward Sapir and Benjamin Lee Whorf. The hypothesis is the idea that language not only influences thought and perceptions, but may also be responsible for what we are capable of thinking.

4. Do different languages create different realities?

It's possible. According to the The New York Times, Whorf suggested that "Native American languages impose on their speakers a picture of reality that is totally different from ours, so their speakers would simply not be able to understand some of our most basic concepts, like the flow of time or the distinction between objects (like 'stone') and actions (like 'fall')."

But not everyone bought into Whorf and Sapir's idea. After some time, the Sapir-Whorf hypothesis fell out of favor because it lacked sufficient evidence to support its claims. People realized that just because we don't have a word for something in English doesn't mean we can't understand a particular concept.

For example, the French phrase l'appel du vide translates as "the call of the void" in English and means "the sudden inexplicable impulse to jump when in a high place or standing on a high ledge." English has no such word or phrase, but most of use have experienced that impulse and could describe it. However, some new research does suggest language may influence our understanding of space and time more than we think.

More: There are so many good movies hitting theaters this November

5. What is nonlinear orthography?

Orthography is a set of rules about the way a language is written, including spelling and punctuation. English is linear orthography because we read it from left to right, and there are clear rules about when a word or sentence begins and ends.

The alien language of the heptapods is nonlinear, written in circular puffs of smoke with no beginning or end. Information at the end of a sentence is known at the beginning, because they both exist at the same time. The entirety of the thought or sentiment is experienced at once, not in a progressive order.

5. Louise's flashbacks and flash-forwards

While most movies are told in a linear way, where we see the beginning, middle and end in that order, almost everything in Arrival has a circular nature. The aliens themselves have big circular heads with seven limbs that circle their bodies. Their written language also appears in rings. This circular structure also applies to Louise's flashbacks and flash-forwards, which is why the story gets a little confusing. In Arrival, Louise's future and her past become one.

6. Louise's daughter, Hannah

This is probably the most confusing part because our minds want to think Hannah either existed in the past or exists in the future. In Arrival, Hannah exists in both at the same time. Louise knows the outcome of her daughter's life even before Hannah is born. Hannah's name is also a palindrome, spelled the same forward and backward.

More: The real love story that inspired Tom Hanks' new movie Inferno

7. Is Louise psychic?

A person who experiences life in a linear order would say, "yes." The premise of Arrival is that by mastering this circular alien language, Louise's brain becomes "rewired" to comprehend the past and future at the same time.

8. A new understanding of time

At the beginning of the movie, Louise says in her voice-over, "Memory is a strange thing, bound by the order of time." The film explores the possibility that if we communicated in a language that wasn't "bound by the order of time," our brains might be able to perceive time in a nonlinear way.

Arrival opens in theaters today.

Before you go, check out our slideshow below.

I’m usually fairly secure in my fat body. Most days I love my round tummy, and my stretch-marked breasts, and my thick thighs, and even my jiggly upper arms. I perform in pornography, have modeled nude since I was 19, and I don’t feel awkward when taking my towel off at a hot tub establishment. I have a closet full of costumes and clothes that I’ve cultivated over multiple years that make me feel fierce and femme.

More: 16 Women share the body image issues they've always struggled with

But it’s not easy. And, frankly, it doesn’t come naturally to me. It’s a constant effort to care about my body, which is pretty sad. I, like many others, been taught to hate myself.

The times that I become insecure, uncomfortable, ashamed of my body are often when I slam against the fat phobic culture in which I live. It happens when I shop for clothes and I have to choose between stylish and comfortable fit. It happens when I go to the doctor and she tells me that any pain I have is simply due to being fat, rather than looking into it. It happens when I go to a sexy party and realize that other women who look like me also aren’t having sex, or being flirted with. It happened when I turned an offer for sex work down and was insulted or threatened, using my weight as a weapon. It of course happens when people seek to ignore the things I say by saying my fatness overrides my intelligence.

When I was a teenager I struggled with my expanding, softening body. My breasts were accompanied by a belly, which made me incredibly self-conscious. I was on medication that made me gain water weight, and went from the high end of normal into overweight, and then obese, over about two years. I had to eat in order to take the medication, but the medication made me fat, so I didn’t want to take it.

My first experiences with severe control over my food intake started then, along with an ongoing fight with bulimia. I struggled with eating disorders off and on for multiple years, well into my mid-twenties, figuring that if only I was skinnier, people would love me more, I would have more success at work, I’d enjoy clothes shopping. I would limit my caloric intake to a third of what was the recommended amount in an attempt to shock my body into submission. Everything I wanted in my life was put off until I lost weight, because then, I thought, I would be valued in society, by lovers, and by clothing companies.

Unfortunately, I’ve grown up to think that some of those things very well might be true. F***** up, but true.

Dieting wasn’t particularly effective, especially as I was poor and couldn’t afford the fruit, veg, unprocessed meat and whole grains recommended. I could starve myself easily enough but figuring out how to have balanced meals every day for a week on about $20 at the most was pretty impossible (and still is, by the way). I lived in Massachusetts and depended on public transport so didn’t tend to go out or socialize much, just to and from work and long evenings in front of my laptop, flirting with a guy in the UK (because honestly dating men here has always been rough). That guy made me feel better about my body by desiring me, something I wasn’t sure would happen, but I still wondered if he would want me more and invest more in us if I was slimmer.

More: Don't let an unhealthy body image push you into exercising dangerously

Looking back I also wonder how much bullshit I took from boyfriends and girlfriends because I thought I should feel lucky to have a lover at all. I did threesomes I didn’t want to do because I wanted to keep my lover. I put up with a partner who didn’t use protection with me or his other girlfriend, because I didn’t think I’d find someone else who would care for me. After a life of being told that only slender, pretty women were lovable, I really truly believed it. I tried to be submissive, tried to be pleasing to people who were cruel to me, because I thought it was better to have a slice of attention once in a while than be alone.

In some ways I wonder if I entered sex work so willingly because it offered the sex and affection I craved. I know for some people sex work drains them and makes them feel shitty, but it was the first place I felt I had sexual power and value. But for every client who kissed my tummy and my stretch marks, I had several who would call me to tell me how hideous I was, how I should just kill myself. I had a reputation for being confident in myself, while at home I would sob and cut my breasts and thighs, wishing I could destroy myself and rise up from the ashes.

So here I am now, trying to exercise on a regular basis. I’ve had two weeks of 30 minute a day workouts, and am starting to calorie count as well to try and have better nutrition. But I can already sense myself falling into the same traps, worrying that it won’t make any difference, that no matter what I do I’ll always be fat and always have to deal with fat phobia. I get frustrated with my partner, who eats whatever he likes and doesn’t gain. He’s not terribly fit, but people don’t comment on his body the way they do on mine. These aren’t concerns for him, but they’re the difference between being respected or not for me. And that kills me.

In order to feel comfortable while exercising, I sought out exercise clothes. I couldn’t find a sports bra that fit me, never mind workout pants. I make do with a sports bra that’s too big and leggings from Forever 21 that aren’t really made for the kind of activity I’m wearing them for. It’s incredibly disheartening to be constantly told to work out and exercise more while also making it impossible to find workout clothes for fat bodies.

I've been fighting against fat phobia stripping away my identity and sexuality all my life

Exercise classes have traditionally been equally scary and uncomfortable. I’ve been shamed at multiple classes for not being as flexible or quick on my feet, especially when learning new moves or techniques. It’s humiliating to be picked on by an instructor when you just want so desperately to work out and fit in. I’ve decided that for now I’ll stick to Wii Fit, which I can do at home and not worry about being judged.

To be honest, I’m also worried about my identity – I’ve been fat and tried to be fierce about it for so long that I worry if I do lose weight I’ll be admitting that being fat is bad or something. I have a hard time figuring out how to be fat positive while also admitting that I feel like I’m giving up, putting myself back under the pressure to lose weight because I’m tired of feeling undesirable. I feel stupid and weak and vain for wanting to lose a couple dress sizes simply because I want to be able to shop at H&M. And yet, here I am.

But it’s really f****** hard, and its thankless, and I resent feeling like a loss of 30 pounds will change how people interact with me. I mean, f***, I resent the Wii Fit telling me I’m obese every time I weigh in. I work really hard and yet it feels like things won’t get better. I hate how disappointed in myself I feel when the three pounds I lost gets gained right back.

I just want to get health care, and be flirted with, and treated like a person.

It sucks that I have to lose weight for that.

I just also feel exhausted and tired of fighting to feel loved.

Originally posted on BlogHer

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