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EXCLUSIVE: Filming Inferno was a painful experience for Tom Hanks — literally

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Tom Hanks and Felicity Jones have been hard at work filming Inferno so fans can finally get their next Robert Langdon fix, and it turns out that the actors might have actually faced more danger than the famous Dan Brown character himself.

Hanks and Jones chatted with SheKnows about the various hijinks and injuries that went down on set — and pretty much no one escaped unscathed. In fact, Hanks says he got plumb knocked out while shooting a scene that didn't even make it past the cutting room floor.

"I get beat up a lot. Even Ron [Howard] cut out a conk on the head that knocked me out," Hanks told us of a particularly nasty scene that director Ron Howard cut from the film. "We came back for three days of shooting in order to grab some stuff, and I said, ‘What happened to the conk in the head I got in the reservoir?’ He said, ‘Uh, nah that didn’t quite work, we’re not doing the conk on the head anymore.’ I said, ‘Well, thanks, that could have saved a day of pain.’"

More: Tom Hanks has a bone to pick with you about his manspreading

And Hanks wasn't the only one knocked around. He and Jones say Omar Sy, who portrays Christoph Bruder in the movie, also took one for the team during production. Sy got a little tangled up with a steady-cam guy and ended up taking a tumble.

"Poor Omar fell in the water in his first day of filming," Jones revealed.

More: How Jane Hawking felt about Felicity Jones in Theory of Everything

"I’m telling you, this is the first shot, we’re in Venice and I’m going to be dragged out of some dank hallway somewhere," Hanks added. "And up ahead I see on the water Omar just got knocked into the canals of Venice somehow. He was wearing dark pants so you couldn’t tell that he was wet."

omar sy insta

omar sy insta

The graceful Jones was not immune to the Inferno, either. She was pushed to exhaustion from running her butt off in incredible temperatures... wearing heels.

"Cobblestones, cobblestones are a bitch," Hanks said of Jones' filming experience. "You know, you have to run across cobblestones, that always hurts."

More: Tom Hanks reunites with a special Castaway co-star

Before you go, check out our slideshow below.

cross dressing actors slideshow
Image: Focus Features

Think Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie are over for good? Apparently, you're wrong

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Angelina Jolie's decision to divorce Brad Pitt caught everyone off guard, but is that decision final?

More: No one believes Angelina Jolie made Brad Pitt lose his friends, do they?

A lot of the bitterness between the two stemmed from the custody battle for their six children, and according to Hollywood Life, now that some time has passed, the couple's future is looking a bit brighter. "The ice between [Pitt] and Angie is starting to thaw," a source told the publication. "A week ago, it seemed impossible that they would ever get past this, but things are shifting. There does seem to be a glimmer of hope."

The publication notes that the glimmer of hope comes from the recent reunion that Pitt had with his son, Maddox, following the "airplane incident." According to the source, this reconciliation was "monumental." They added that, "It's the start of forgiveness and healing for everyone. It was very emotional and painful. but a huge step in the right direction."

More: Welp, Brad Pitt's former bodyguard basically just kicked him while he's down

The decision for Jolie and Pitt to divorce has been made even harder by the fact that they share six children, and they appear to be an incredibly close family. In fact, a recent report from TMZ claims that Brad Pitt will not file a legal response to Angelina Jolie's divorce petition because it would negatively affect his children, which seems to prove just how much his family means to him.

Pitt reportedly wants joint legal and physical custody, "but if he actually filed papers it would draw the battle lines." Jolie reportedly feels the same way, as she agrees that healing the family is a priority, and this means not starting a legal war. Although the publication seems to suggest that a divorce is still in the works, they note that there's a good chance that it will be settled privately.

If the couple does decide to call off their divorce, it's not going to go back to normal overnight. It will be a long, difficult and extremely emotional journey as they try to work out their differences. However, according to the Hollywood Life source, Pitt is willing to do whatever he can to make it work because he "misses them all so much, he would do anything to have his family back together."

Could things still work out for Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie? Or does the fact that they're being more civil toward each other just suggest that they now simply have their priorities (in this case, their children) in order?

More: Insider claims Brad Pitt's been really struggling with all the divorce news

Do you think there's still hope for Brangelina? Share your thoughts in the comments below.

Before you go, check out our slideshow below.

serial cheaters slideshow
Image: Apega/WENN.com

Watch Tom Hanks deliver heartfelt love letter to Ron Howard

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Everyone loves Tom Hanks — how could you not? He's humble, charming, hilarious and a fan of the photobomb. And you'll be pleased to learn that his golden-boy reputation isn't just a facade — Hanks lived up to every expectation when I met him in Florence, Italy, for the Inferno press junket and movie premiere. Yes, yes... I met him. In the flesh. It Italy. Don't be jelly. And later that night, I dreamed he was my husband. Swoon.

More: Tom Hanks loves his fans and does awesome shit for them all the time

Tom Hanks GIF
Image: Giphy

While Hanks may not be having any dreams or fantasies about me, he does have loving feelings toward director and longtime friend Ron Howard... or so we thought.

The two first worked together in 1984 (that's a whopping 34 years of friendship, people) on the movie Splash — it also happened to be Hanks' debut on the big screen. Since then, they've worked on a number of projects, including Apollo 13, From the Earth to the Moon, The 'Burbs and other Dan Brown films. Obviously, they must enjoy working together or else they wouldn't keep doing it, right? Wrong. Hanks wants to put a stop to their working relationship... immediately.

More: Tom Hanks' latest health update is really starting to worry us

As Howard gushed about Hanks in one room — even asking him to be his Valentine four months in advance (we imagine Hanks is in high demand) — Hanks begged Howard to stop calling him (in the most loving way, of course). It seems pretty clear these two are in different places in their relationship.

Ah, the sweet sorrow of unrequited love.

Watch for yourself as Hanks (with Felicity Jones' help) and Howard write love letters to one another proclaiming their love – or in Hanks' case, exhaustion.

More: Filming Inferno was a painful experience for Tom Hanks, literally

Tom Hanks, Ron Howard perform love letters

Tom Hanks, Ron Howard perform love letters

8 places to get costumes and save money

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Halloween is fast approaching (less than two weeks, no big deal.) Everyone has different ways of celebrating, from traditional trick or treating to watching a scary movie to throwing a Halloween party, but one thing can’t be forgotten: a good costume.

Maybe you’ve had your costume planned since last Christmas and need the last finishing touches. Or maybe you’re more like me and have no clue what to dress up as. Whatever your situation may be these stores can help you out, and each of them has some killer coupons to make sure there's more than cobwebs in your wallet.

1. Wholesale Halloween Costumes

Wholesale Halloween Costumes allows you to buy costumes at wholesale price, and with these deals you can save even more money while donating 2 percent to a nonprofit of your choice. You can also find costumes for your pet, makeup tutorials to complete your look and decorations for your house.

2. Costume Discounters

If you’re looking for exceptional value look no further than Costume Discounters. While they already have low prices on every costume imaginable year round, you can save even more with these discounts while also giving back to nonprofits. Costume SuperCenter also makes shopping online for a Halloween costume easy. You can get great deals, such as free shipping, and donate 3 percent to your favorite cause.

3. Hot Topic

With a great selection of unique Halloween costumes in addition to plenty of pop culture collections, Hot Topic is offering free shipping, 30 percent off AND you can donate to a nonprofit of your choice.

4. Trendy Halloween

If you're looking for something completely unexpected Trendy Halloween is the place to go. While you give 5 percent of what you spend back to your favorite cause using these deals and coupons, you can also create your own unique look whether scary, silly, adventurous or something else.

5. The Disney Store

The Disney Store has some great options for kids. Your child can choose to be their favorite Disney, Marvel or Pixar character while you’ll save money and give back.

6. Just Kid Costumes

Just Kid Costumes is another place to check out for just children’s costumes and to save some money.

7. Official Costumes

Waited until the last day to get a costume? Official Costumes can help you out with different shipping options to ensure you get your costume on time.

8. HalloweenCostumes.com

HalloweenCostumes.com also has free shipping and fast shipping times so you know when your order will get to you.

You can find costumes, accessories and more at all of these shops, save money and give back to nonprofits. Shopping for a Halloween costume doesn’t have to be scary leave that to the evening’s festivities.

Brad Pitt's divorce 'mistake' was actually carefully planned

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Brad Pitt may have missed a big deadline in his divorce proceedings, but it turns out, he did it on purpose for a good reason.

More: No one believes Angelina Jolie made Brad Pitt lose his friends, do they?

Oct. 19 was the deadline for Pitt to file a response to his estranged wife Angelina Jolie's divorce petition. That date came and went without any word from Pitt.

A source close to Pitt told Us Weekly it was a calculated move. Filing more court papers could have turned the divorce into a nasty battle that would play out in front of a judge. With their six kids is mind, Pitt is reportedly making every possible effort to settle things with Jolie outside of a courtroom.

More: Brad Pitt's reunion with his kids may be a turning point in the divorce fiasco

The source says Pitt, Jolie and their lawyers are working things out for the time being. If and when they're able to reach certain agreements about their divorce — like a custody compromise — Pitt will file a response to Jolie in court. As things currently stand, Pitt is fighting for shared legal and physical custody of the kids, while in her divorce filing, Jolie requested full custody for herself. Pitt has been adamant about his desire not to turn the divorce into a custody battle.

Meanwhile, Pitt has been cleared after multiple agencies were investigating him for child abuse after an anonymous tipster let leak that he allegedly hit his oldest son, Maddox, on board the family's plane, pushing Jolie to file for divorce. Pitt and Maddox definitely had an argument, but no evidence of abuse was found. Pitt has been meeting with his kids under the supervision of a therapist since the allegations were made.

"[Brad] wanted to make sure the meeting would be the most productive for the kids," an insider said.

More: Angelina Jolie's lawyers might have another legal battle on their hands

Before you go, check out our slideshow below.

Celebrity breakups slideshow
Image: CBS

Mickey Mouse wants you to eat your broccoli!

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Would you buy your child Disney-branded produce? Let’s be real — you probably would if it meant he or she would be more likely to eat a fresh fruit or veggie. So keep an eye out — Dole Food Co. announced last week that it is launching co-branded fresh produce featuring Disney, Pixar, Star Wars and Marvel characters.

Those without little kids may roll their eyes at the craven money-grab on display from Dole, but those of us with little kids are probably more likely to say, “Hey, if it works…” I don’t personally understand why my 4-year-old has such strong feelings about me purchasing Frozen or Avengers-branded yogurt for him, but he also doesn’t understand why I have such a fondness for reading the newspaper and being left alone on Sundays. We all have our weird preferences.

More: Disney characters who smoked cigarettes on screen

In case you haven’t taken a close look at grocery shelves in the last few years, there has been a shift in terms of which foods are directly marketed to kids via cartoon and movie characters. Recently, I interviewed Ellen Wartella, who directs Northwestern University’s Center on Media and Human Development, where she studies social policy, media studies, psychology and child development. She recently worked on a study that examined whether the 13 companies that took part in the 2011 Children's Food & Beverage Advertising Initiative adhered to their promise to advertise only foods that meet FDA standards for healthy foods. Wartella says, “Basically, they kept to their pledges.” She notes that while food companies still market to kids (kids know they can get their Happy Meal at McDonald’s) they at least do it in a more roundabout way than by deploying beloved characters to entice kids to eat fries.

Sure, in a perfect world I would prefer it if my children just ate their vegetables because they were diligent children who would rather eat some perfectly sautéed Brussels sprouts instead of a PB&J. But this is not a perfect world, and if Mickey Mouse is going to help me get some veggies in my kids, I’m fine with that.

More: Get kids to eat more vegetables

Celebrate Day of the Dead with everything from pumpkin mole to sugar skulls

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Love that Mexican skull face paint you see every Halloween? You may love the holiday and rituals that go with it even more once you learn about them. Día de los Muertos, or Day of the Dead, is celebrated across the U.S., Mexico and Latin America on Nov. 1 and 2. The 3,000-year-old Aztec ritual is a time to honor loved ones who have passed in the most beautifully life-affirming way.

During this holiday, souls are welcomed to visit the families they left behind. Families decorate colorful altars with fresh flowers and bright tapestries. And of course, food is central.

That's why we've put together a full collection of our favorite traditional and modern recipes by Latina cookbook writers and bloggers just in time for the big day. You don't have to be Mexican to celebrate Día de los Muertos. We all have people in our lives who have passed on — people we miss very much. Welcome them back in spirit with your own Day of the Dead feast.

day of the dead recipes
Image: Liz Smith/SheKnows

1. Pumpkin and ancho chili mole/mole de chile ancho y calabaza

pumpkin and ancho chile mole
Image: Courtesy of Pati Jinich

Serves 6

Recipe courtesy Pati Jinich

Ingredients:

  • 1/2 white onion, peeled
  • 6 garlic cloves, unpeeled
  • 3 ancho chilies, stemmed, seeded and opened
  • 1/4 cup slivered almonds
  • 5 whole cloves
  • 1/2 stick (about 1 inch) true or ceylon cinnamon (or substitute 1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon)
  • 8 whole allspice berries (or substitute 1/8 teaspoon ground)
  • 2 tablespoons vegetable oil
  • 1 (15 ounce) can pumpkin purée (about 1-3/4 cups)
  • 3 cups chicken broth
  • 1-1/2 teaspoons kosher or sea salt (or more to taste)
  • 3 tablespoons brown sugar (or more to taste)
  • 1/2 cup pumpkin seeds, lightly toasted

Directions:

  1. Place the onion and garlic in a baking sheet under the broiler. Char for 9 to 10 minutes, flipping once in between. Once they are soft and charred, remove from the heat. When the garlic is cool, peel.
  2. In an already hot skillet or comal set over medium-low heat, toast the ancho chilies for about 15 to 20 seconds per side until they're brown and crisp but not burned. Place the toasted ancho chilies in a bowl and cover them with boiling water. Soak for 10 to 15 minutes until they are plumped up and rehydrated.
  3. In the same skillet or comal, toast the cloves and allspice until aromatic, about a minute. Remove from the heat. Toast the almonds and cinnamon, stirring often, until lightly browned, 4 to 5 minutes.
  4. Place the onion, garlic, chilies, 1/2 cup of chili soaking liquid, almonds, cloves, cinnamon and allspice in the blender and purée until smooth.
  5. In a soup pot over medium heat, heat the oil and pour in the puréed mixture. Add the salt and sugar. Cook for about 5 minutes, stirring frequently to help prevent the sauce from sticking to the bottom of the pan. The color will darken considerably.
  6. Add the pumpkin purée and chicken broth to the sauce. Stir well until the pumpkin purée has dissolved. It will have a silky consistency. Continue to cook for about 12 minutes, stirring occasionally.
  7. Use the mole sauce to pour over grilled, broiled or boiled chicken, meat or fish. Sprinkle with toasted pumpkin seeds for some added flavor and crunch.

2. Marigold-infused tequila

Marigold infused tequila
Image: Sweet Life

Marigolds are said to lead the souls of the dead to their graves, and this marigold-infused tequila is a great drink to celebrate with on this day.

More: Let's pretend tequila is the new green juice

3. The Weeping Woman martini

 The Weeping Woman martini
Image: Muy Bueno Cookbook

Also known in Spanish as "la Llorona," a Mexican folktale used as a bedtime story for children, is inspired by the Day of the Dead celebrations.

4. Café de olla atole

Cafe de olla atole
Image: Nibbles and Feasts

"Atole," a corn-based drink, is usually drunk during this holiday. We're loving the addition of coffee in this café de olla atole.

5. Mexican hot chocolate

Mexican hot chocolate
Image: Muy Bueno Cookbook

Mexican hot chocolate, also known as "champurrado," is famous for its thick consistency thanks to Mexican chocolate and "piloncillo" sugar, or really dark brown cane sugar. Muy Bueno cookbook writer and blogger Yvette Marquez-Sharpnack has a growing collection of Día de los Muertos recipes on her website.

6. Ecuadorian spiced purple corn fruit drink

Ecuadorian spiced purple corn fruit drink
Image: Laylita's Recipes

Also known as "colada morada," this corn-based drink is sweetened with the addition of fresh berries.

More: 21 ways to love Mexican food that have nothing to do with tacos

7. Atole de vainilla

Atole de vainilla
Image: The Other Side of the Tortilla

Another version of "atole," the corn-based drink, is this atole de vainilla that is brightened up with the inclusion of Mexican vanilla beans — some of the best vanilla in the world.

8. Marigold muerte drink

Marigold muerte drink
Image: Muy Bueno Cookbook

You can purchase dried or fresh marigold at your local flower shop to make this marigold muerte drink to celebrate your loved ones.

9. Ecuadorian bread figures

Ecuadorian bread figures
Image: Laylita's Recipes

In Spanish, these are called "guaguas de pan" and are traditional in Ecuador during the Day of the Dead celebrations.

Next up: DIY sugar skull cake pops

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10. DIY sugar skull cake pops

sugar skull cake pops
Image: Chelsea Lords/SheKnows

Taking the classic and traditional sugar skulls, these sugar skull cake pops are a modern twist and fun way of presenting skulls to young ones in the family.

11. Día de los Muertos empanadas

Dia de los Muertos empanadas
Image: Sweet Life

Make these Día de los Muertos empanadas in specialty skull molds that can easily be found online, and stuff them with traditional ingredients like cotija cheese.

More: 19 Mexican slow cooker recipes that will add flavor to dinner tonight

12. Mexican pig-shaped cookies

Mexican pig shaped cookies
Image: Muy Bueno Cookbook

Also known in Spanish as "marranitos," gingerbread pigs are a delightful treat to sweeten the celebrations with on this special holiday.

13. Día de los Muertos skull chocolate cake

 Dia de los Muertos skull chocolate cake
Image: Sweet Life

Slice into this skull chocolate cake, and explain how you're celebrating your loved ones, guiding them and sharing great stories from when they were alive.

14. Marigold-pressed tortillas

Marigold-pressed tortillas
Image: Nibbles and Feasts

How gorgeous are these tortillas de cempazuchitl? Pressed marigold petals adorn these tortillas, making them sometimes too gorgeous to eat.

15. Día de los Muertos gelatina cake

Candied pumpkin or squash
Image: Presley's Pantry

Día de los Muertos gelatina cake — or gelatin cake — is a colorful addition to your Day of the Dead altar.

16. Candied pumpkin or squash

Calabaza en tacha (dulce de calabaza)
Image: Aromas & Sabores

Also known in Spanish as "calabaza en tacha," it's the perfect side dish to include in your celebration.

17. Sugar skulls

 Sugar skulls
Image: Presley's Pantry

Make these traditional sugar skulls with your children, and introduce them to what the Day of the Dead is all about.

Originally published October 2014. Updated October 2016.

I blamed myself for my miscarriage

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Three days before Mother’s Day, I felt a sharp pain in my abdomen as I was making oatmeal. A few minutes later, a trickle of fluid on my underwear. Stay calm, I thought. Pregnancy symptoms are varied and cramps and discharge are completely normal at eight weeks. I removed stems from a handful of blueberries. I debated whether to walk to Third Avenue to buy another carton of almonds.

But something told me these cramps were different, that this sudden rush of discharge, which felt warmer and thinner, wouldn’t be the same white fluid I had come to love for being the closest example of life inside of me I could get during those first few weeks.

The cramps didn’t subside. When I broke down and let myself use the bathroom after squeezing in my urine for what must have been an hour, my heart sank. A patch of pink-red fluid had stained my underwear. It was too dark to allow me to fool myself into thinking it was normal. Trust me, I tried.

The second my doctor hopped on the phone and instructed me to come to his office early that afternoon I knew it was over.

As I waited in the examining office, I thought about the first pregnancy rule I broke three weeks before: Don’t tell anyone until you’re at least 12 weeks along. Maybe I was overconfident — it was my first pregnancy and two bright blue lines instantly popped up on the test mere weeks after my husband and I began trying. For the first time in my life, I was head over heels in love with myself. I was in awe of what my until-then ordinary body had been capable of producing with only an ounce of effort on my part. Wearing a white slip and sitting on a closed cold toilet that April morning, I kept a tight grip on the test and began imagining the way my baby’s silk-black hair would feel against my cheek. My husband had already left for work and I relished the chance to know my secret before anyone else in the world. I let my mind wander to beautiful places that had been roped off until that moment. I had been humming Bob Dylan's "To Ramona" to myself for at least 10 years and now the reason for it finally made sense. It would be her song too. I'd whisper, “everything passes, everything changes” in her ear the moment she cried. She would grow up respecting chaos because she understood that song.

But a second later, the tide of an unexpected memory rolled in and crashed around my baby's dark hair. There was an impatient doctor once who had tried to scare me into eating when I was 19 by warning me I’d never be able to have children. I only ever saw him while I clung to the paper napkin they make you wear when you already feel as naked as a baby bird. The robe chafed my breasts. I never understood why I couldn’t wear socks. I imagined myself taking a train to that doctor's office that morning, slipping the pregnancy test under his door and watching him analyze those confident lines with the same dead, chalky eyes that told teen me I'd probably never produce life. Fuck off, doctor. Who says women can’t have everything?

Only, no, we can’t. As I sat in the office of a different doctor, a good doctor, I realized this miscarriage is proof that some part of me will always have to pay.

Of course, I had told everyone. Everyone. Our parents, friends, cousins, the receptionist at my job who hugged me and told me not to spend a fortune on “stupid” baby clothes.

“I just thought you should know because…” I said to my boss at the time in private. I can’t remember how I finished that sentence but I'm certain I wasn't honest. I'm sure I didn't admit that pregnancy was the most confounding and surreal thing to ever happen to me and if the world didn't acknowledge it, how could I be sure it was happening?

Aside from some noticeable changes in discharge, I felt few pregnancy symptoms, which I later found out was because my embryo had stopped growing very early on. I took at least three tests, and one week later, my doctor confirmed the pregnancy. I remember thinking there would be more fanfare at my gyno appointment, but he delivered the news like he was telling us it was a partly cloudy day.

“See you in one month.” No instructions on how to keep my baby growing. How could a girl who was so good at destroying her body be trusted to keep a collection of delicate tissue alive? One month seemed like a lifetime.

With Mother’s Day a few weeks away, I passed the time wondering whether I qualified as a mom. I imagined my husband heaping roses at my feet, but knew he was too pragmatic and scared to jump the gun like that. Nobody explains to you that early pregnancy, before you begin to show and everyone wants to rub your belly, is like traveling alone in a country and not speaking the language. You experience some bodily changes and mood shifts. You don’t have the words to explain it to those around you and you can’t understand how it’s possible to fall in love with your symptoms, but they’re all you have and you cling to them for dear life.

My husband was by my side holding my hand when my doctor examined me and confirmed the baby didn’t have a heartbeat. The good news, if you can find a silver lining in the blackest cloud, was that my body was flushing everything out naturally and there would be no need for a dilatation and curettage procedure. I wish I could say I felt gratitude, but all I felt was extreme guilt.

I had questions that I knew my doctor couldn’t answer and none of them had to do with my ovaries or uterus. I wanted to ask if losing my period when I was a teen because of an eating disorder had come back to haunt me. I wanted to ask what to do when you're not ready to stop loving your baby yet. I yearned for instructions on how to keep myself from blaming myself for this loss. And now that I knew how much I could love myself, would that flush right out of my body too?

I wish I could say it took a few days to get over my miscarriage or that everyone I confided in understood why it felt like such a devastating loss. I had to remind myself that the people who assured me I was "lucky" because I could always get pregnant again were just trying to be helpful. Mother's Day was particularly brutal and it took about two months for me to shake the feeling that something sacred had been stolen from me.

I'm not religious, but I believe in fate. My fate was to have a miscarriage and then go on to give birth to two healthy children. My fate was also to confront unresolved feelings I had about my eating disorder that broke through the surface when I got pregnant and get myself back into therapy to deal with them. As painful as it was to go through, my miscarriage taught me that I deserve to love myself, pregnant or not.


When my kid gets anxious, I do too

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Yesterday at school, my son was accidentally hit in the face by the sharp side of a water container when a friend threw it toward him.

Blood was gushing out, but he didn't cry. We went to urgent care and he remained calm. He was a bit nervous in the waiting room about the stitches hurting, though no more nervous than any kid would be. But he was worried he wouldn't be able to get his backpack from school. When he was all stitched up, we rushed over before the 4 p.m. front office closing time to grab his backpack. When we got there at 3:50 p.m., the doors were locked.

This is when Jake panicked.

"Mom! The door is locked!"

"They must have left early, Jake. You'll have to pick it up tomorrow morning. It's ok."

"No! I need you to call the school and tell them to open the door! I will get a missed homework stamp! Call them and tell them I need my backpack!"

"I can't call them, Jake. They left for the day. You will not get a missed homework stamp, I promise."

"I need to go through the back of the school and get my backpack! I need my work for my test on Friday! I have to get my backpack! Why did they leave early? Didn't they know I was coming to get my backpack?!"

"Jake, calm down."

"Isn't there someone we can call who is still at school?!"

"No. There isn't. Stop. Let it go."

"But mom..."

"I said stop! You cannot get your backpack today! You drive me crazy with your questions and over again!"

I'm Mother of the Year.

If you as a parent have anxiety, it's likely your child will cause you anxiety when they exhibit stress. I'm sharing this because anxiety comes in different forms and at random times. As parents, we need to be self reflective of our "poor parenting moments" to effectively raise our kids.

I am not good at handling my son when he exhibits negative behaviors I struggle with myself. And when his behavior triggers my anxiety, I fail big.

My therapist recommended "What to Do When You Worry Too Much" to read with kids to help them cope with anxiety. But I think half the battle is recognizing this. In talking to my therapist, I realized that instead of reacting, I could have identified the anxious feeling was happening and shown empathy. "I understand why you are upset because you really wanted your homework," I might have said. I could have even had a counter conversation. "Why do you think you will get a missing homework stamp when you had to leave school injured and didn't have a chance to get your backpack? Do you really think your teacher would punish you for getting hit in the face and the office closing early? Do you think if we explain what happened, she would understand?"

Once he'd calmed, we could have talked about how to handle moment of anxiety like that.

Of course, these are all easier to reflect on in hindsight. It all seems like common sense. But sometimes things are foggy in the moment. We can only do our best.

Jen Oliak writes at ozofsalt.com, where this post was originally published.

Matt LeBlanc's disappointing new sitcom is an insult to stay-at-home dads

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Don't you hate it when you hear that an actor you enjoy has a new show, only to discover the premise is totally disappointing? Enter Matt LeBlanc's new sitcom, Man with a Plan. The reviews are in, you guys, and — to speak colloquially — it ain't good.

Set to premiere on Monday, Oct. 24 at 8:30/7:30c in the evening, the new addition to CBS's roster stars LeBlanc as Adam Burns, a contractor who essentially becomes a stay-at-home dad when his wife, Andi, (Liza Snyder) goes back to work. For the first time in their children's lives, Dad is "in charge."

More: Matt LeBlanc opens up about his dark days after Friends

And predictably, he appears to comically fumble through it. Why is this predictable? Well, because it relies on tired old gender tropes that we've already seen in the sitcom world before — that parenting is a feminine gig, that men lack the inclination, etc.

In short, it rests in the fallacy that parenting comes more naturally to women and therefore being a hands-on dad emasculates a man. There aren't enough eye-rolls in the world to express the way I feel about CBS shortchanging such great comedic actors with a show built on easy, yet insidious stereotypes.

There are a few major problems inherent with Man with a Plan perpetuating this retro notion. For starters, it does dads a great disservice by implying they are at a natural disadvantage as parents. Newsflash: There are some men out there who are the only parent their kids have, and they rock it. Men can make phenomenal parents. Just like women can. You see where I'm going with this? Parenting shouldn't be qualified by gender. To suggest they are "less than" or "second-tier" to women as parents is denying them the credit they deserve.

Second, it's a cop out, y'all. Seriously. My sister and I, who both work from home with two small children, often have this conversation — men have been conditioned to believe that mothers are more adept at parenting, so it's more "our job" than theirs.

More: Matt LeBlanc will have big shoes to fill in his new role as Top Gear host

People who buy into this false narrative are the types who believe if someone has to stay home with the kids, it should default to the mother. Or if a child is sick, the mother must be the sole caregiver during said sickness due to her "nurturing" predisposition. You can use this line of thought to justify all kinds of lazy parenting if you'd like.

And then, there's the ridiculous crux of this entire comedic misadventure, which is that being involved in your children's lives isn't manly.

Because here's the truth: Not only are men just as capable of being amazing parents as women are, but it also doesn't make them any less "manly" for being phenomenal fathers. In fact, I think most people would probably agree that a father being invested in his kids' lives makes him more of a man.

Not in Man with a Plan's world, though. Rather, the sitcom juxtaposes LeBlanc's macho, Carhartt-wearing, clueless contractor dad with that of Lowell, an effeminate stay-at-home dad who waxes poetic about kindergarten classes and gets all googly-eyed over Adam's "alpha-male energy."

At one point, when Adam makes a crack about beer, Lowell straight-up says, "It's so nice to connect on a masculine level again."

So what conclusion are we left to draw other than the fact that being a hands-on dad emasculates a man? This isn't just an outdated notion; it's a reckless one. It makes it that much more difficult for families trying to transition into the father staying home or who already have a stay-at-home dad in the picture because it stigmatizes being a present father.

More: Friends fans, rejoice! Matt LeBlanc and Matthew Perry reunited

We should be past this thinking by now, right? I imagine the series fancies itself doing women a favor by bringing to light the fact that doing everything a mom does in the life of a child is hard work. Unless Man with a Plan moves beyond its superficial (and, if we're being honest, sexist) facade in the first few episodes, though, it's not doing anyone any favors.

Before you go, check out our slideshow below.

Friends Easter eggs slideshow
Image: NBC

There's just so many things about Azealia Banks' apology letter that we love

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In the sake of honesty, we have to say that Azealia Banks' apology letter to Zayn Malik made us laugh. Is anyone really buying this?

Wait. Before you read it, you must know, Azealia didn't send this letter to Malik via email or snail mail. She didn't even post it on social media. She gave it to Us Weekly for them to print, presumably hoping that it'd get picked up by other outlets (which it has) and that Malik would see it. Anyone else smell a PR stunt?

More: Russell Crowe accused of choking Azealia Banks — witness statements say otherwise

Image: Azealia Banks via Us Weekly

Come on, some of the letter is pretty funny. Aside from handing it over to Us Weekly first — most likely for publicity — Banks may also be trying to counteract the backlash she's received from her feud with Russell Crowe.

Here's some background on the Banks vs. Malik and Banks vs. Crowe feuds:

Back in May, Banks tweeted at Malik to congratulate him on leaving One Direction. Later, Malik sent out a couple of vaguely shady tweets, and Banks thought they were directed at her (he later tweeted again claiming they weren't).

Azealia Banks vs Zayn Malik 1

Azealia Banks vs Zayn Malik 1

Azealia Banks vs Zayn Malik 2

Azealia Banks vs Zayn Malik 2

Banks launched into a nasty tirade against Malik, writing, "Dude, I make better music than you. Simmer down with that fake white boy rebellion and that wannabe beiber swag. Lol u a bitch n**** for even responding like that. Keep sucking this yung rapunxel dick u hairy curry scented bitch."

Then, more recently, Banks posted to social media about getting into a fight with Crowe at a party at his apartment. She claimed he choked her and called her the N-word, but witnesses at the party told police it was Banks who started the fight by threatening other guests with her wineglass.

More: Azealia Banks offends LGBTQ community with KKK comparison

While this apology letter kind of misses the mark, there are some tidbits that we love... in a we're-very-confused way:

"LETTER TO ZAYN"

We have no idea whether Us Weekly wrote "LETTER TO ZAYN" at the top of the page, but we assume the image above shows the original letter they received from Banks. If so, we just get a kick out of the way the letter starts. Hey, it could start a real new formatting trend.

Malik's "formidable principles"

That's just such an awkward way to use the word "formidable." It kind of screams, "I used a thesaurus to find a bigger word!" Hey, we've all been there at some point in our lives...

Banks' revelation about life — thanks to the Twitter feud

This may actually be our favorite part. Banks thanked Malik for teaching her that not everything on Twitter is directed at her, saying "it is a lesson that I desperately needed to learn." Who knew that 1) Malik was such a great life coach and 2) Twitter feuds could produce fruitful lessons? I guess we learned something from all this drama, too!

Banks' sign-off, "Yours faithfully"

No "from," no "sincerely" — Banks signed the letter with "Yours faithfully." What does that mean? She's going to faithfully remain a Malik fan for the rest of her life? She has faith Malik will forgive her? We just don't get it. It could be that damn thesaurus again.

Alas, we do believe Banks has love in her heart — everyone's got a good side. Plus, whether this is a PR stunt or not, it takes humility to publicly apologize. Let's give her some props for that. People deserve second chances, so here's to hoping that Banks has learned from the backlash and that her letter translates from words into change.

More: Bristol Palin schools Azealia Banks on why you shouldn't mess with her mama

What did you think of Banks' apology letter? Let us know in the comments below!

A late-term abortion saved my life

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Cecily Kellogg wrote this piece in June 2009 after the death of Dr. George Tiller. It's become hauntingly relevant again after Wednesday night's presidential debate.

In October of 2004, I was pregnant with my sons Nicholas and Zachary. With great joy and expectation, my husband, my best friend, and I visited my doctor for a normal growth ultrasound. I was nearly 23 weeks pregnant, hovering at the start of the third trimester. Within moments, it was clear something was wrong; one of the boys was still and had no heartbeat. When I met with my doctor, routine screening revealed the worst: The symptoms I’d been experiencing that I thought were normal with a twin pregnancy were actually evidence that I was sick — very, very sick.

I was immediately admitted to the hospital with severe preeclampsia, and though my doctors tried mightily to slow the progression of the disease, by the morning of October 27 a group of doctors stood at my bedside and delivered the worst news I’d ever received. I was in advanced kidney failure. My blood pressure was skyrocketing, and it could not be controlled with medications. My liver was beginning to decline. The horrific headache I was experiencing could no longer be treated with pain medications, because they were afraid it would depress my ability to breathe when I began to have the seizures they expected at any moment. I would soon likely suffer a stroke or a heart attack. In other words, I was going to die unless the pregnancy was terminated. Immediately.

There was no hope for my surviving son. He was too tiny and too frail to be viable. With my dangerously high blood pressure, a C-section would have likely caused me to bleed to death, and inducing labor would have stressed my system too much. My safest option was the procedure known as an intact dilation and extraction. It would save my life, and preserve my future fertility. As luck would have it, my obstetrician happened to be one of three doctors in the Philadelphia area who were both trained and willing to do the procedure. Within an hour of receiving my bad news, I lay in the surgical suite, covered in tubes and wires, weeping inconsolably as the doctors tried to offer comfort as they prepped me for surgery.

It was the worst day of my life.

After I came home from the hospital, grieving, I searched and found other women like me, women whose lives were saved by the late-term medical termination of a pregnancy. I also met women who chose to spare their children from agonizing health conditions and birth defects by having an abortion. What I learned is that we are rare — only 1.1 percent of all abortions are performed after the 21st week of pregnancy, and doctors only perform them in cases of extreme medical need. Dr. George Tiller, an abortion provider who was assassinated at his church for his profession, never performed a late-term abortion without counseling the parents and getting a second opinion from another doctor. My doctor described the day of my surgery as the worst in his professional career.

With the help of other women like me, I grieved. I healed. I tried again, and in June of 2006, my wild and fierce daughter Victoria was born. As I healed, I came to realize how lucky I was. Yes, I said lucky. This was in 2004, before the Partial Birth Abortion Ban Act became law, and my doctors were able to move quickly to save my life without worrying about breaking the law. My doctor knew the procedure and was willing to perform it, something that has already become rare and will be rarer still if doctors have to put their lives on the line to perform this life saving medical procedure. If it’s you or your daughter, will you be so lucky?

Cecily Kellogg is a freelance writer living outside of the Philadelphia area. She has blogged about her experience at www.uppercasewoman.com. Copyright (C) 2009 by the American Forum 6/09.

This post was originally published on American Forum.

What not to say to the parent of a child with a chronic illness

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Getting a diagnosis can be scary, but it's a huge relief for a family whose child has been struggling with chronic illness or mysterious health issues. My own daughter was diagnosed with juvenile arthritis (and was subsequently prescribed a very small dose of chemotherapy she has to undergo once a week via injection).

In some cases, diagnosis brings treatment options that can be hard to bear along for the ride, such as medication with unhappy side effects, painful physical therapy or surgery. Often, the treatment is the only way to prevent (or slow down) permanent damage, and while the side effects of the meds can also cause illness or distress, moms and dads make that choice in a child's best interest.

Enter "everyone else" into the picture. It can be extremely difficult to hear friends, family members, perfect strangers and even medical professionals second-guess your decision about how to best to treat your child. For some, it's hard to understand why a parent would choose to use a harsh treatment when a child doesn't even seem that sick. And yes, as with everything else a parent chooses to do, people judge.

Some of the medications kids have to go on (mine included) carry harsh side effects and potential complications. My girl is on a medication called methotrexate, a type of chemotherapy, and though her dose is small, it can cause nausea, fatigue and mouth sores. It works by calming down her immune system (which is busy attacking her joints), but this means that she's more prone to illness because her body doesn't have the same ability to fight off germs that she had before she went on medication. It's also hard on the liver, and she's monitored every three months to make sure it's not being negatively affected (this has happened before and we had to stop treatment for over a month).

Many of the meds prescribed for kids with autoimmune issues have similar side effects and risks. It can be painful for friends and family members to see a child suffering from the side effects, especially when they don't seem to be all that sick.

Here are some examples of the types of ignorance parents of kids who suffer from juvenile arthritis have had to bear:

  • "I went to a pharmacy that does compounding to see if they could compound my 2-year-old's methotrexate. The pharmacist said, 'I would not let my employees near that poison!' and 'Have you tried a diet change?'" — Michelle
  • "I've had several people suggest natural remedies to us when I tell them my daughter’s immune system is compromised by her medications. We take this as a teaching moment to let people know we're actually suppressing her immune system on purpose and that it's a delicate chemical balance." — Caty
  • "The school nurse told me and my 9-year-old juvenile arthritis daughter that it was very important to get off all of these dangerous meds as soon as possible because of how bad they are for her. This was our first introduction to [this woman.]" — Kristen

Spoiler alert: If you don't aggressively treat some illnesses, like juvenile arthritis, the child risks permanent damage and disability, which can include joints that need replacing, loss of function, blindness (if the eyes are affected) and becoming wheelchair-dependent. And no one wants to give their child a medication that affects their immune system and can also make them sick, but they do because their immune system is what is causing the problem in the first place.

Here's what not to say to a parent facing such an ordeal:

  • I would not give my child that medication.
  • Have you tried going gluten-free? Cutting out sugar? Only feeding him organic food?
  • This essential oil should take care of that.
  • He doesn't seem that sick.
  • She looks fine to me. Why treat it?
  • Well, my doctor said…
  • I know someone who had ___ and the ___ made them ___.

Instead, offer to listen — don't judge — and attempt to understand the illness and its treatment options. If a mom says her child is immunocompromised due to treatment, wash your hands before visiting, and don't go around them when you're sick.

Also, respect a parent's wishes if their child is sticking to a certain diet because it helps her feel better (because some parents report their child has improvement on certain diets), and definitely don't sneak them snacks they shouldn't have (which, unfortunately does happen because some people don't see the harm).

It's crucial to understand that a parent has already weighed the pros and cons, and if they're not asking you for advice, you probably shouldn't give it. While it really is wonderful that you're concerned for the child's health, rest assured that her parents are as well, and they're doing what they feel is best for their family.

Don't ignore your dog's bad smell — it could signal a serious health issue

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There are a few unspoken truths every dog owner can agree on: Dogs' paws smell like corn chips and dog breath smells terrible. As the owner of two Chihuahuas, I have a confession to make — I actually like the uniquely terrible way my dogs smell. After spending time with these two stinky little pups for over a decade, their corn-chips scented feet and their stale breath remind me of home.

For most dogs, smelling bad is just a way of life, but that doesn't mean we, as pet owners, shouldn't pay attention. In some cases, the stench of your best friend can mean there's something wrong. A particularly pungent pet odor, especially one that grows stronger or changes over time, could be the sign of an underlying medical issue.

More: My dog's dry skin turned out to be a serious medical condition

Here or some things a bad smell could be signaling.

1. Overgrown yeast populations

According to Dr. Katherine van Ekert, veterinarian and cofounder of VetPronto, dogs' strong odor may be caused by the yeast Malassezia pachydermatis.

"Most dogs have a small number of these yeasts living on their skin without any issue. However, yeast populations can swell when the normal skin barrier is compromised," says van Ekert. "This can occur when skin is exposed to prolonged wetting, e.g., ears are not dried thoroughly after washing, ear canals are narrow and do not allow moisture to escape, skin allergies (atopy, food, flea allergies), exaggerated skin folds (such as bulldogs and shar peis) and hormone imbalances (such as thyroid disease and Cushing's disease)."

2. Dental issues

What about those moments when you lean in for a puppy kiss and are met with dog breath so terrible that it blows your hair back? Just like people, dogs need regular baths and teeth cleaning. Birgitta Lauren, dog owner and breeder of Cavalier King Charles spaniels, says she most commonly sees dogs with bad breath caused by a lack of dental care.

It's a slippery slope — infrequent brushing can quickly lead to inflamed gums and infection, with serious dental issues in the long-term.

More: 5 Dog training tips that will get your dog to finally behave

3. A nasty infection

Dr. Ann Hohenhaus, staff doctor at The Animal Medical Center in New York City, says she most often sees strong "doggie smells" associated with skin and ear infections caused by bacteria, fungus or parasites.

"Occasionally, the bad smell owners detect is stinky urine secondary to a bladder infection," she adds.

4. Allergies

And that infection your pup has contracted might be an underlying symptom from an even deeper problem: Allergies.

"Most skin infections and ear infections are secondary to allergies and the resulting itchiness," she says. "Appropriate medications can quickly clear up a skin infection, only to have it relapse because the underlying allergic condition was not treated. Thankfully, there are many options to treat allergies in pets. Flea infestations can also be the cause of some skin infections. Treatment of fleas will be necessary to treat the secondary infection."

5. Improper grooming

In some cases, the answer to a strong odor may lie right under your nose: Your dog may need to be groomed more often.

Dr. Patrick Mahaney, the industry’s leading veterinarian, explains, "Many dogs may smell different as a result of the frequency which with they are bathed, the type of shampoo or conditioner used in the grooming process, the needed amount of brushing or combing that is or is not being met (non-shedding dogs needing more frequency brushing/combing, etc.)."

More: Why adopting an older dog is actually really awesome

6. An overprocessed diet

Circling back to the infamous "Frito Feet," this general dog stink is most likely related to diet, according to Dr. Laurie Coger of The Wholistic Vet.

"While the urban legend is that this odor comes from eating a corn-based diet, the real reason is bacteria and yeast that live on the skin between the toes and pads of the foot," Dr. Coger says. "Diet may have an influence in making it easier for some microbes to thrive in the canine foot environment — grains and starches are more acidic and promote inflammation in the body, changing the pH and chemical nature of the paw. This favors yeast and certain microbes, which are actually responsible for the smell. Anecdotally, dogs fed a natural diet with few or no starches rarely have 'Frito feet.'"

As a dog owner, never underestimate your ability to "sniff out" a problem. If your stinky dog starts smelling like roses after a bath and a teeth brushing, a regular grooming routine could be the answer you have been looking for. If your dog can still clear a room after a bath, check in with your vet. Your pup's funky aroma could be caused by a serious health problem.

How to style the perfect food photo for Instagram

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Behind nearly all of those stunning foodie Instagram feeds is a pro who styles and shoots her food with lighting and backdrops and all kinds of props. But Jane Ko is a restaurant blogger, so she takes her food pics like the rest of us do: in the restaurant. She can't bring fancy lights with her. She'll get yelled at if she climbs up on a chair for the perfect shot (though she does it sometimes anyway).

And Jane she didn't start off as a great photographer. She's entirely self-taught, and her talk at the BlogHerFood16 conference in Austin earlier this month, Jane confessed to a very relatable phase where she got way too filter-happy. But now, her Insta feed is gorgeous proof that as long as you stay with it and continue shooting photos over time, they will get better — especially if you follow these four tips:

Tell a story with styling

Think about your photo even before you take out your phone. What's in the background? Jane believes in showing who's eating: a friend reaching in to take the first bite of that taco, a friends at brunch with hands digging in, or your kids running around in the background. Those details tell a story—and stories connect people to you.

Natural lighting is your best friend

Natural light makes way prettier photos than flash, but it's hard to get in restaurants. Jane's bold: She'll walk her plate over to a window, even if she wasn't seated there. She also eats a lot of daytime meals, so she can chase that light.

Direct sunlight will cast hard shadows on your subject, so if you're outside, find a spot with shade. And the holy grail of natural lighting is open windows with sheer white curtains. They're the perfect combo of

Choose your perspective

Try shooting from the top down, to show the whole table. Jane's willing to climb up on a chair to make that happen (but if you have a DSLR camera, just hold it really high and flip the screen out toward you so you can see).

Shooting at eye level can makes people really want to eat what you're holding. Jane likes to hold food out in front of her, and she's bold about asking random people to stand behind her and take the shot for her.

Jane Ko's ice cream cone photo
Image: Jane Ko

Go for vertical photos, which grab people's attention the best. Square photos are also fine, but avoid landscape (horizontal) perspectives. Those show up smaller, so people will just scroll right past them.

And think about grabbing people's attention using Boomerang, which takes supershort video that runs back and forth. Try digging into an egg, so the yolks break and unbreak. Both Boomerang and the time-lapse app Hyperlapse are built by Instagram, so the algorithm loves them, and using them might give you a visibility boost, too.

Go beyond the Insta filter

Jane loves the 99-cent Fotograf app to keep her photos consistently bright. It has preset filters, and she almost always uses #3 so that her entire feed looks consistent.

If you're just tinkering with images on your phone, play with the brightness first, then contrast, saturation, shadows, then sharpen and temperature if you have those options.

And her last pro tip is genius: Use the whitening tool on Facetune (yes, the selfie-beautifying app), to take out yellow glare from overhead lights on the table.


My child is recovering from his accident, but I never will

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If you saw my 3-year-old right now running around the playground, he looks like any other child. Besides a small bandage on the ring finger of his left hand, and the typical bumps and bruises that decorate the shins of all kids his age, he's the picture of health. But my eyes don't dare stray to my phone as he plays. They stay glued to him and his twin brother as they race around with the other kids.

I call out for them not to run, to be careful, to sit down every time they approach the top of the slide (even though they were probably going to sit anyway). I can't help it. Because under that innocent-looking bandage there are stitches and a wound still healing from an accident that's left me permanently scarred.

I've always been a worrywart of a mom. I was the only person I knew who baby-proofed the entire house before my kids could even lift their heads, the mom who reads an article about dry drowning and sleeps next to her child all night because they coughed after getting out of the pool. I prided myself on being overcautious. While I know that kids are going to get hurt, I've always told myself that by doing everything in my power to prevent the things that I can prevent from going wrong, I'm being a good parent. Until a few weeks ago.

We were on a family vacation at the most magical place on earth, and even there, this nervous mom was still on duty. When we checked into the hotel, I requested a room change because the first room we were given had a tall, heavy chest of drawers that wasn't bolted to the walls as it is in all the other rooms. I didn't want any accidents. I watched my kids closely in the parks, on the monorail, in the pools. One of the lifeguards even told me I looked worried as I chased my twins back and forth across the splash pad.

"I'm a mom" I told him. "This is just how my face looks."

After that swim session, we headed back to the hotel room to change before dinner, and that's when it happened. I sent the boys into the bathroom to pee, as I had done at home and already done on this trip countless times without incident. I stood just outside the door and stripped out of my wet clothes. I wasn't giving them my full attention and somehow they tried to close the door while one son's hand was still partially between the door and the jamb. I heard a scream and honestly expected to see a pinched finger, perhaps a bruise or some minor bleeding. They didn't slam the door; they just tried to close it. Instead, he presented me with the bloody stump of his finger, partially severed. The nail was cut clean through. It was floppy and gushing blood, only attached by a few centimeters of flesh on the underside where the fingerprint lies.

Still half-naked, I grabbed a towel and his hand and shouted for my husband to call 911. EMS and a flurry of hotel staff arrived promptly, and I headed to the hospital in an ambulance with my son while my husband stayed behind with our other child (somewhere along the way I threw a dress on). An X-ray revealed that, in addition to the flesh and nail injuries, my son had also broken his finger, so he would require surgery and needed to be transferred to another hospital.

Because the accident happened on a Saturday night, they couldn't perform surgery until the following morning, which made me more concerned about the doctors' ability to save the finger. The doctors told me there was also the risk of bone infection from the broken finger, which was very serious, so he was put on IV antibiotics that night.

In the end, we were extremely lucky.

The doctors were able to repair all of the damage and so far, it looks like his finger has reattached and will remain intact. They are even hopeful that his fingernail will regrow one day soon.

I know that in the grand scheme of things that can go wrong, a finger injury is not that big a deal. With the exception of watching him go under the anesthesia for the surgery — which was admittedly terrifying — I was never in fear for my child's life. But I was still worried about the possibility of a lifelong disability as a result of an accident that could have been prevented if only I had been watching him more closely. There will always be a part of me that feels like what happened was my fault.

Of course, I know that parents can't watch their kids every second of every day Still, this incident has left me with lingering anxiety. I still feel like I'm constantly bracing for impact, just waiting for the next emergency to strike.

Three-year-olds scream all day long about everything. Every time one of the kids cries in frustration or even screams in delight, my brain goes straight to panic mode. Whenever the kids are at preschool or I'm at the gym and my phone dings, my stomach clenches because my first thought is that something has gone horribly and awfully wrong. Part of me thinks I'll get over it in time, but I wonder if part of me is changed forever.

As I watch them on the playground, I'm very aware of just how fragile they are and how easily a good day can go very, very wrong.

Here's a wake-up call for all who think the U.S. has an immigration problem

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America Divided took on the immigration problem in the United States tonight — or, rather, the lack of an immigration problem.

The most staggering statistic from the show tonight: Violent crime among undocumented immigrants is actually lower than in the general population.

More: America Divided is the look at inequality this country needs

So what does that mean?

To me, it means that there is too much fearmongering in our culture right now. Whether by politicians or the media, immigrants have been portrayed as the "bad guys" of society. (Oh, the horror of letting someone into our country who might do more good than harm.)

But the facts paint a very different picture.

It's a picture that suggests we let our bias against diversity influence our stance on immigration in a negative way. These immigrants, statistically, will contribute to society.

Since when did the United States stop being the land of opportunity and start being the country that doesn't want anyone to join us in our success?

Don't get me wrong. I love my country. I am a proud citizen of the United States of America. If I were in a lot of other countries, I wouldn't even be allowed to write this article. I don't take the freedoms I am afforded lightly. But it is for that reason that I am so pro-immigration. Other people should be afforded the same freedoms I have been fortunate enough to be born into.

More: How do we fix the broken U.S. education system showcased on America Divided?

And the system is broken. It is failing those seeking citizenship and villainizing those who want that citizenship.

Is coming into this country illegally OK? No. But can you really blame them for trying, considering what they're coming from?

America Divided tweet 4

America Divided tweet 4

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America Divided tweet 3

The look at immigration tonight on America Divided was a wake-up call that we cannot and should not ignore, especially given the election that is just weeks away.

More: My mixed-race sons look white, but that doesn't mean racism stays away

How and should America change the perception of immigration?

Before you go, check out our slideshow below.

Shonda Rhimes quotes
Image: WENN

My child-free friends give great parenting advice (no, really)

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Some of my closest female friends are brilliant, intelligent, beautiful goddesses who do not have children. When we meet once a month for dinner or drinks — always in the afternoon now because I'm the friend who has to be up at the crack of dawn with two kids — they ask what new words my toddler has learned. They laugh at photos of my 5-year-old daughter constructing a robot and then putting a leash on it because we've deprived her of a family pet. They love my kids as much as we love one another — but their reaction when I ask for their parenting advice can only be described as pained.

I know I'm not a parent, but...

I'm not sure I have any right to say this... but...

I'm not saying I know how to be a mom, BUT...

And, believe me, getting as far as that "but" is like trying to extract a molar with dental floss.

We've managed to construct an indestructible wall between parents and adult friends, acquaintances or strangers who do not have kids. Whereas we used to laud the idea that "it takes a village" to raise children, many of us now want nothing more than to believe we're doing everything the right way all of the time and if you have a cross word to say about how I'm feeding my kids too much sugar, well, I'll just label that "parent-shaming," cup my ears with my palms and hum loudly to myself until you go away.

The contempt many parents have for the advice police is understandable — because it's a constant stream of criticism, much of which is static noise that takes away from meaningful discourse (if I have to read about another Duggar car seat scandal, my head might explode). Somewhere along the way, smart and savvy adult men and women — those same people who know kids, love kids, have a stake in the future of our society, understand conflict resolution and may possess more patience than I can ever dream of having — have been shut out of the parenting conversation because they haven't given birth.

While I would probably leave questions about diaper rash or how to help my child deal with nightmares to parents who have been there, done that, a lot of parents might be surprised to find that friends without children offer fresh perspectives on parenting issues — with far less judgment.

When I called her in mid-freak-out because my toddler decided he was on a hunger strike, a friend who has never raised a toddler calmly asked me what I had fed him.

Her: Maybe he just doesn't like squash and chicken.

Me: No. He has to eat what I make for him.

Her: OK... but he'll eat other stuff that you aren't feeding him?

Me: (Annoyed) Yes. But he has to eat what I make for him.

Her: (Pause) Aren't you the same person who eats oatmeal with blueberries for breakfast and lunch?

Why, yes. Yes, I am.

My friends may not know what it's like to stay up all night with flu-stricken child, but they are beacons of strength and patience who have talked me down from the ledge too many times to count. It helps that they don't utter phrases like, "If I were a parent, I'd never let my kids do X, Y, Z." And it helps that they don't equate their dog to my kids because don't even get me started on that. On the rare occasions I can pull advice out of them while they kick and scream to keep their thoughts to themselves, I know it is genuine and that they aren't judging me. They aren't secretly comparing our children's tantrums or assuming they know it all because they've raised kids.

When given a voice, many child-free adults will use it to impart wisdom many parents may not have heard 100,000 times before. It would be a shame to keep trying to shut them out of the conversation.

Shark Tank investors went crazy for a new pet product, but is it that cool?

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SiliDog pet tags entered Shark Tank tonight, and I thought at first that the company wasn't going to get a deal. Boy, was I wrong.

More: Shark Tank's Sharks go overboard with health product critiques

The brilliance behind the tags is that they're made using silicone, so they are noiseless and solve the clanking collar problem. But here's the thing: I have a dog, my friends have dogs and none of us have ever had a clanking problem to begin with. I even pooled some of them and asked for the sake of this article. No clanking. Why? Because we only have one tag, and it's small enough that it doesn't move around on the dog's neck.

It honestly seems to me like an old-school problem, especially considering all the dog fashion and accessories that are now in style.

Now, if SiliDog tags had been noiseless dog tags with tracking capabilities, I would have been all over that. I am waiting for one to debut that isn't so bulky and can track over longer distances. Right now, all the GPS dog trackers are either clunky collars or tags that don't have long-range capabilities, and I'm convinced there's a better way. I'm not talking about a microchip, which my dog already has implanted. I'm talking about a dog tag that would correspond to an app on my phone so I can see where my dog is at all times. It would be like Find My iPhone for your pet. They've got the start of this technology happening, but it hasn't really landed all the way just yet.

More: The Shark Tank Sharks don't need to force the drama

Maybe I'm just a crazy dog mom — OK, that's definitely a given — but I love taking my dog on off-leash adventures like hiking and the dog beach. Even though he's great at staying by my side the entire time (otherwise I wouldn't let him off leash), I still would like a GPS tracker as a safeguard. But I haven't found the right one yet to fit my lifestyle.

Side note: If any of you read this article and put this idea into action, I expect 20 percent equity and a free dog tag. A steal, I know. You're welcome.

When I first saw SiliDog enter the tank, I got excited because I thought the design was going to feature tracking. No dice.

That didn't seem to matter to the Sharks, though. They had a rocky start to the deals, but the fervor built until they sealed the deal with Lori Greiner for a sweet investment.

More: Shark Tank's Wally Amos didn't deserve a deal, but he does deserve success

Personally, I'm going to keep my traditional tag and hold out until there's finally one with tracking capabilities that won't take over my dog's neck.

Do you think the SiliDog tags are useful, or is it an invention of the past?

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Amy Poehler's making a show you're going to want to watch with your mom

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Two beloved comedy geniuses from two generations will be returning to the small screen soon, and we cannot freaking wait.

Comedy legend Carol Burnett will make her return to television on ABC as a star in a multicamera comedy that will be executive produced by fellow funny woman Amy Poehler.

Can you imagine the belly-cramping, tear-inducing laugh fests that we'll be having?

via GIPHY

The show will center around a family who gets the chance to buy an otherwise unaffordable house of their dreams on one condition: they live with the current owner until she dies. Burnett will play the owner, who is also an older actress.

Universal Television will create the series, and Poehler will executive produce under her company Paper Kite Productions, along with Brooke Posch, Dave Becky and Michael Pelmont.

More: Amy Poehler made us rethink how we treat ourselves and other women

Mad Men producer Michael Saltzman will also help write the show, which was given a large pilot budget by ABC.

Known for her roles on Parks and Recreation and SNL and movies such as Mean Girls, Poehler is no stranger to the comedy game.

Poehler — like Oprah, Dede Gardner and Shonda Rhimes — is helping pave the way for women as producers in the notoriously male-dominated television and film industry. The Center for the Study of Women in Television and Film determined that in 2015, programs with at least one woman executive producer and/or creator had a cast with 41 percent major female characters. This is compared to the 31 percent major female characters on programs with exclusively male producers. Not as even as we'd like, but we'll take it for now.

via GIPHY

More: Amy Poehler shames execs for contributing to parenting double standards

Burnett, who has enjoyed a six-decade-long career in the industry, is most famous for the numerous characters she portrayed on The Carol Burnett Show, a sketch comedy show similar in many ways to SNL that ran for over 10 years.

Most likely, if your parents were born in the '60s or earlier like mine, they are HUGE Carol Burnett fans. My mom loved the ridiculous characters she played — especially Mrs. Wiggins.

My mom even loved how the actors would break character to laugh at their own jokes.

Most recently, Burnett attended the 2016 Screen Actors Guild Awards, where Poehler and Tina Fey presented her with the Life Achievement Award.

Image: Kevin Mazur/Getty

More: Icon Carol Burnett receives major honor

Both women have paved the way for women in comedy, and we can't wait to see this duo create yet another powerhouse show that will hopefully become our new favorite.

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