Songstress Tori Amos contributed her haunting, original song "Flicker" to the new documentary Audrie & Daisy. We sat down with Amos to find out more about the documentary and the conversation she's urging parents to have with their kids about rape culture and cyberbullying.
Image: Netflix
Audrie & Daisy tells the tragic story of two teen girls, Audrie Pott and Daisy Coleman, who were sexually assaulted, then cyberbullied and shamed online. Sadly Pott was so traumatized by the experience she took her own life.
Tori Amos, herself a rape survivor, says she felt totally numb after watching this movie. But when the numbness wore off, she created a battle plan.
"The movie is a call to arms. Bonni [Cohen] and Jon [Shenk] made a powerful film, and being a part of it, being a part of Daisy's army, is something that happened because I was so offended by the film and realized that I can't look away," says Amos.
Amos says moms have been coming up to her after screenings and saying that sexual assaults like the ones shared in the movie have two separate frightening components.
"Not only is the sexual assault survivor having to deal with the shock and pain and betrayal of having to live through it, carry it through her entire life, working through it, hopefully cross from victimhood into survivorhood, but the second part, what this generation is having to deal with, is photographs being taken. Audrie was unconscious and didn't know what happened until she got to school. Her mother didn't know what happened to her until after she committed suicide."
Amos says the Facebook generation may be skilled when it comes to using technology, but some are lacking in empathy and don't understand the definition of abuse.
"These were her friends who ripped off her clothes, assaulted her, drew all over her, then took photos and put them online. Everybody in Audrie's world in that high school saw the pictures, and then she thought her life was over. The people in the film said they weren't trying to be mean — they thought it was funny.
"What really began to make itself clear when watching the movie is how our kids define abuse. If they didn't think what they did was abuse, then we, as adults, have failed. Our kids know how to use technology, but they don't have the emotional maturity to process and understand what abuse is. They equate what they did with funny."
Amos is the mother of a 16-year-old daughter and says the conversations with her about these topics are extensive. "It's ongoing. And my husband is involved in these conversations too. We need dads involved with their daughters and dads involved with their sons."
Audrie & Daisy is a powerful film but difficult to watch at times, especially for moms. "Let's be real with each other. It's a tough watch, but it is a must-watch!" says Amos.
The inspiration for Amos' song "Flicker" came entirely from the film.
"Knowing that we lost Audrie and many others — boys and girls who committed suicide either because of sexual assault or bullying — the song had to acknowledge that some of our lights, who are so young, are being extinguished. Daisy, who is a phoenix out of the ashes with her tough journey that she’s been on for many years — that needed to be acknowledged. And the assault, which is in the first verse, and how neighbors and friends didn't want to get involved is in the third verse."
But things really clicked for Amos when she read the mantra that was written on the wall in Daisy's brother's room: Monsters are not born, they are made.
"That's when I paused the film, and then the muses screamed to me like the Valkyries, saying, 'Here we go, this is your way in.'"
Audrie & Daisy is now streaming on Netflix. If you want to start the conversation with your own kids, the filmmakers have created educational materials and discussion guides for parents and teachers that are available at AudrieandDaisy.com.
If you're on the hunt for the perfect name for woman's best friend, you've probably run into some common roadblocks by now. Female dog names can be hard to find, especially if you want to steer beyond the old classics like "Lady" and "Princess." Moving away from the totally typical could help you to find a fun, new name that's as unique as she is.
Even better, many of our favorite girl dog names have special inspiration. If you're a comic book lover, wine enthusiast, travel junkie or sports fan, this is going to be good.
Girls can be superheroes, too. Try one of these names inspired by our favorite fictional kick-ass ladies and sensational sidekicks.
Felicity
Psylocke
Mystique
Scarlet
Rogue
Harley
Domino
Storm
Lois
Mary Jane
Natalia
Raven
Quinn
Unique dog names inspired by celebrities' babies
Celebrities sure do like to get creative with their baby names. Borrow a little of their naming mojo with one of these adorable names for your pooch.
Asking for feedback on baby name choices isn't a modern thing, but gone are the times when parents only share their options with close friends and relatives. Nowadays, there's a growing trend of seeking the opinions of complete strangers.
Put like that, it seems crazy, right? But when we spend so much of our lives online, it's only natural that we turn to parenting forums for advice and support from the digital world. It's easy, it's quick, and it's the best way to get honest feedback.
That's great when we need advice on breastfeeding or constipation at 3 a.m., but do we really need to be crowdsourcing baby names via strangers?
One mom-to-be certainly got more than she bargained for when she asked Mumsnet users what they thought of her favorite baby name: Felicula. The thread has now been deleted, but a steady stream of comments left her in no doubt. Her baby name sucked and plenty of people were will to tell her so.
So, it's not the most popular baby name of all time. In fact, it's really not popular at all. We couldn't find it listed on any of the main baby name websites. But Felicula is a real name. She was an early virgin martyr who was arrested after her foster-brother Petronilla refused to marry a Roman official. After Petronilla's death, Felicula was arrested, starved and, um, died.
The background to the name was enough to put most critics off, while others said it sounded like surgical apparatus, a geometry term, an obsolete medical implement or "something you would buy at a pharmacy for a vaginal rash." One mocker said it brought to mind a deadly disease, while another misread it and thought it said fellatio.
Plenty of reasons to strike Felicula off the list, then. But really, if this mom loves the name, isn't that enough reason for her to go for it? Why does it matter what a bunch of strangers — who will never meet the mom or little Felicula in real life — think? Is crowdsourcing baby names simply a way to get reassurance that your name choice isn't hideous?
Asking anyone for baby name advice is pointless if you think about it. While strangers on internet forums are likely to be honest to the point of being downright rude, friends and family may go too far the other way. Generally, they'll sit on the fence until the baby is born and the name is confirmed, at which point they'll gush about how much they love it.
If you love a particular name (and the other parent, if around, is on board), your decision should be a simple one to make without needing to seek the advice or approval of others. But if you're planning to name your child something that sounds like a vaginal yeast infection treatment, perhaps you'd better brace yourself for a fair amount of ridicule.
Idina Menzel said it before. She wants Frozen's Queen Elsa to have a girlfriend — which would make her the first gay Disney princess. But she doesn't just think it would be a great idea to cast a more diverse princess, she also has a suggestion for whom Elsa should date: Tinker Bell.
While Menzel was unable to confirm or deny the direction the writers and producers will take with Elsa's love life in Frozen 2, during an interview with Tyler Oakley she did admit that she thought Tinker Bell would be a great girlfriend for Elsa. And although we first thought this was a strange suggestion (I mean, there's a pretty big size difference), we have to say, we're now fully on board with Tinker Bell and Elsa as a couple.
Idina Menzel's suggestion for Elsa's GF
Idina Menzel's suggestion for Elsa's GF
Here's why we think they'd be a great match: Firstly, both characters are strong, independent women, and they don't need a relationship to define them, which makes them perfect for each other.
Then there's the fact that Tinker Bell is feisty and hot-tempered, while Elsa is more reserved and calm (so they would balance each other's personalities). Tinker Bell's relationship with Peter Pan proved that she's a devoted and loyal companion, while Elsa is compassionate and keeps so many of her emotions bottled up — but she still has so much love to give.
Both characters have experienced feelings of loneliness and resentment, which they have overcome, and they're both pretty mischievous and fun. So, for all their differences, they do share a similar background and past experiences. Aside from these reasons, both characters are pretty magical. Tinker Bell is a fairy who can fly and produce pixie dust, and Elsa was born with the power to create ice and snow — yeah, they'd have a lot of fun together, no doubt.
And the last reason we think Tinker Bell would be such a great fit for Elsa is because she's become one of the most iconic Disney characters, and to alter her now and make her interested in another woman would be pretty incredible — and show just how much Disney is willing to progress. By creating a gay princess, Disney would be sending out a message of acceptance and finally putting the outdated notion that love can only be shared between a man and a woman to rest.
Although it is unlikely that Tinker Bell will ever become Elsa's girlfriend (there's more chance of the writers creating a new character), we still think she's the perfect suggestion. And regardless of what happens in Elsa's love life in the next film, we'd be pretty happy to see her involved with someone who shares the same characteristics as Tink.
Pocket-size pooches may not get as much attention as some of the bigger breeds do, but ask any small dog owner, and they'll tell you — the smaller the dog, the bigger the personality. Big things come in small packages, and the American Kennel Club tends to agree.
The Labrador retriever was (unsurprisingly) named the most popular dog in 2015, with plenty of smaller breeds nipping at its heels. Some of the AKC's most popular little breeds included Pomeranians, Yorkies and Boston terriers, and we've got a soft spot for quirky pups like the cockapoo — all of which you'll see on our list. Because size doesn't matter, here are some of the world's most adorable small dog breeds.
1. Yorkshire terrier
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Lovingly referred to as the "Yorkie," the Yorkshire terrier is the ultimate cutie in small breeds. Not only are they tiny, some are even "teacup"! Adorable for dress-up or play, the Yorkshire terrier is a small breed with a big personality and perfect as a companion on the go. Yorkies have been a "fashionable" pet since the late Victorian era.
2. Papillon
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Another breed that makes an excellent companion, the papillon is a loyal and loving friend. Great with kids and families, this pint-size pup makes an excellent watchdog. Calm but alert, it is extremely protective of its master. A papillon's most distinctive feature is its large butterfly ears.
3. Cavalier King Charles spaniel
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Not only is the Cavalier King Charles spaniel adorable, but it loves to cuddle, too! A member of the toy group, this pup is gentle and extremely caring of its family. These dogs are considered to be very elegant, possibly the reason Charlotte York from Sex and the City had one. One of the most popular in small breeds, it's a dog worthy of all of your love.
4. Brussels griffon
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Some may think that the Brussels griffon isn't the most attractive dog on the planet, but it sure is cute. A bit awkward looking, Brussels griffons are smart, adaptable and cat-friendly. What they lack in appearance they make up for with their ability to perform a variety of tricks. Not great with kids, it'll make a single owner a very happy one.
Just like the natives of the city it was named after, the Boston terrier is one loyal breed. It loves people, kids, cats and other dogs alike and is extremely adaptable. One of the most popular small breeds, the Boston terrier is one tiny pup that dog lovers like to have around.
6. Shih Tzu
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The Shih Tzu's cuteness matches its vibrant and spunky personality. A breed known for its luxurious coat and adorable appearance, the Shih Tzu needs a lot of grooming to keep it looking good, including daily brushing. Another popular breed, this dog makes a great companion for adults and older children.
7. Bichon frise
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It's cute, its white and it's super-fluffy: The bichon frise is the epitome of cuteness. A feisty breed, this little guy loves to play with its beloved owner. Despite the fact that it looks just like a child's toy, the bichon frise is not actually classified as a toy breed but rather one of the non-sporting group. A super-cuddlebug, the bichon frise is also very affectionate and loving toward adults and other furred friends.
8. Pomeranian
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Another fluff ball to love up to, the Pomeranian is a compact puppy of Nordic descent. Smart and curious, this is a soft and lively breed. Excellent as a show dog, the Pomeranian is easily trained due to its incredible intelligence. Not very good with kids, this dog does amazingly well with cats.
There's a reason we see the Scottish terrier adorning sweaters and holiday gear — it's super-adorable! Their thick eyebrows and stout build make them resemble old men, in the most charming way. With more than just cute looks, the Scottish terrier makes a wonderful watchdog. Witty and hypoallergenic, it's another small dog breed best suited for adults and older children.
A designer breed, the cockapoo is a mix of the English cocker spaniel and the poodle. Small and cute, this breed hits every mark for a great dog. A cockapoo will never leave your side, as it loves to show affection and follow its owner. Good with kids and other animals, the cockapoo is intelligent and adaptable.
A member of both the toy and companion groups, the Pekingese is a charming and delightful dog to be around. An intelligent pooch, it's a watchdog that prefers adults and kitty friends. These pups are usually between 7 and 14 pounds, yet they are mighty and quick to defend themselves. With a lot of fur, the Pekingese's luxurious coat requires regular grooming.
12. Maltese
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The Maltese is a breed that loves to shower its owner with affection. Lively and energetic, this breed also enjoys playing with its adult owner and fur-covered friends. The Maltese loves its owner so much, however, that it often suffers from separation anxiety when left alone too long. Covered with white, fluffy fur of its own, the Maltese requires daily brushing.
Small yet assertive, the Lhasa apso is a companion breed that was bred to protect its family. Good with all kinds of people and pets, it makes a great addition to any family. Fearless and devoted, the Lhasa apso is a pretty pup that enjoys a good pampering, requiring lots of grooming, and cuddle sessions at the end of a busy day.
14. Skye terrier
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Made famous by Queen Victoria herself, this versatile breed can get fiercely protective or just be a friendly companion. Don't be fooled by its small size — the Skye terrier is an excellent watchdog. Smart, friendly and outgoing, this is a happy pup to have around. Fearless and loyal, the Skye terrier is a breed suited for a one-pet-only household.
A sporting and gun dog, the cute Sussex spaniel makes an excellent hunting and family pet. Reliable and a lover of dogs and kids, the pup is friendly, lovable and notoriously slow. Looking a bit somber, the Sussex spaniel is actually a very happy and good-natured dog and loves the company of other dogs.
A hound breed, the petit basset griffon Vendéen loves to be active and will often keep itself entertained by getting into a little trouble. Adorable with its furry features, this dog requires a lot of grooming and playtime. Smart and easily trained, the petit basset griffon Vendéen makes a great family dog with its friendly and outgoing nature.
There isn't a furry friend or human the Havanese doesn't like. A charming little pup, the Havanese has a soft, easy-maintenance coat. A pup that loves to cuddle, this lovable pooch enjoys the company of its owner 24/7, which is why it's nicknamed "Velcro dog."
Another toy breed, the darling Japanese chin also falls into the category of a companion breed. Well-mannered, affectionate and extremely loyal, this dog believes its life goal is to be at the service of its owner. Beware, however, of these pooches' jumping skills, as they can leap up great distances in just a single bound. A bit on the sensitive side, the Japanese chin does best with adults and feline siblings.
19. Chihuahua
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Still sometimes referred to as the "Taco Bell dog," the Chihuahua is one of the most well-known small breeds on the planet, ranging from just 3 to 6 pounds. Filled with a feisty personality and watchdog abilities to boot, this pooch is a confident and sassy breed. Best as a one-human kind of pet, the Chihuahua gets along best with cats and adult humans.
20. West Highland white terrier
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The West Highland white terrier is arguably the cutest dog on the entire planet. White, fluffy and a great therapy dog, there's no denying this breed's awesomeness. A "Westie" is good with kids, families, cats and pretty much everyone. Perhaps their best quality is how easily they are house-trained due to their preference for cleanliness.
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Originally published February 2016. Updated October 2016.
Even the most private among us have trouble keeping mum when it comes to big baby news. Despite his low-key relationship with the press, Ashton Kutcher accidentally slipped during an interview on the Today Show and may have revealed the gender of his new baby. Kutcher and wife Mila Kunis are expecting their second baby — and it seems he is turning Kutcher into one nervous second-time dad, according to the star.
While speaking about his 2-year-daughter Wyatt, Kutcher let the cat out of the bag by saying, "She points to Mila and she's like 'baby brother' when she points to the belly. And then she points to dad and she goes, 'beer,' so I think she gets there is something in the belly but I don't quite think that she knows that it's not going to be a plastic doll yet."
Ahem, care to back up, Ashton? Too late, we heard him right — baby brother. Yay! The happy couple is (probably) welcoming a little boy! Of course, Kutcher didn't elaborate on his slip of the tongue, so we can only imagine he realized he had made a boo-boo and would be hearing it from his equally private wife when he got home.
Kutcher then switched the focus to his feelings about having another baby, and it's actually sweet to hear he is as conflicted about his role as a dad as a lot of us are when we become parents — for the first, second or fourth time. "How am I gonna run after this one and deal with — I thought the first one was exhausting in the beginning," Kutcher said. "I'm a little terrified to be honest. It's intensely scary."
Having a second child can be scary — but Kutcher and Kunis seem like naturals when it comes to parenting, and they'll be just fine. Both share a down-to-earth attitude when it comes to raising their children — they even plan to tell them they aren't wealthy so that they do not grow up feeling entitled to things they didn't earn. And if they really are having a boy, there's no doubt their little guy will look up to his dad as one of the coolest guys around.
Her mom, Tina Knowles, took to Instagram to praise A Seat at the Table, and her message to Solange was super-sweet.
"I'm sorry Solange I'm a let you finish," she wrote, copying Kanye West's infamous words from when he interrupted Taylor Swift at the MTV VMAs, "but I have to say that I have to finish and Beyonce and myself and Kelly and Angie have often had conversations about you saying 'we will cherish the day that the world knows how talented and creative and amazing an artist you are'! I do believe that the day has arrived thank you Almighty God!!! You are-awesome and thank you to all the fans who supported this record you are awesome also !!"
Solange worked for nearly a decade on the album, which is already being compared to her older sister Beyoncé's smash hit Lemonade.
"It shouldn’t be surprising that two people who grew up in the same household with the same parents who are very, very aware — just like everyone else is — of all of the inequalities and the pain and suffering of our people right now, would create art that reflects that," Solange told Fader in an interview about being compared to Beyoncé.
She continued, "I’m really proud of my sister and I’m really proud of her record and her work and I’ve always been. As far as I’m concerned, she’s always been an activist from the beginning of her career and she’s always been very, very black. My sister has always been a voice for black people and black empowerment. And I give so much of that credit to my parents."
By now, you've probably been hit with Hello Kitty sparkling rose fever. You've heard that the character's creator, Sanrio, is collaborating with an Italian winemaker Torti. And you may have heard that the wine will be served exclusively at Antonello's Ristorante in Santa Ana, California.
But there's one thing we haven't heard much at all: Where the heck you can buy a bottle?
First, a little more info. Hello Kitty wine isn't new — the Hello Kitty wine collaboration started in 2007 and it's been in the U.S. since 2010. But there are two special bottles that people are especially excited about.
Sweet Pink: a demi-sec rosé sparkling wine that comes in a 375-milliliter bottle with a gold-painted heart impressed in the glass.
Rosè Collection: a sparkling rosé wine that comes with a special Hello Kitty pendant with Italian flag.
Image: Courtesy of Sanrio Inc.
Gotta admit, I had my own Hello Kitty obsesh at one point, and I wouldn't say "no" to this bottle today.
Other wines in the collection include:
Cupido: sparkling white wine
Rosè: sparkling white wine
Charmy: white vinification
Lady: red wine
The wines are all either a blend of Chardonnay and Pinot noir or 100 percent Pinot noir. And they all come with licensed Hello Kitty labels. The Torti family told the LA Times that the wines are not limited edition, and they'll keep making them. So — Do. Not. Panic.
So, where can you get this wine? Antonello's has the sparkling brut, sparkling rosé and Sweet Pink, and you can buy bottles there. But we're not all living in the O.C. The one U.S. online retailer that was carrying it, Wine Country Gift Baskets, has sold out. But never fear — our contacts will be letting us know soon where else you can find the wine, and we will update this article as soon as we hear.
In the meantime, keep calm and drink sparkling rosé. Moët Chandon and Gruet each make a sparkling rosé that's lovely and available just about everywhere. And if you're looking for a rosé in a bottle pretty enough for a gift, there's Chloe Wine's Pinot noir-based blend, Monterey County Rosé.
PSL fans, we have an important announcement. As of today, Starbucks is serving Pumpkin Spice Whip as a free topping from now through the weekend to celebrate the PSL's 13th birthday.
Yes, it's made with real pumpkin.
Yes, it has the requisite cinnamon, ginger, nutmeg and clove spices.
Yes, they'll put it on anything, not just PSLs. All you have to do is ask.
From Oct. 6 through 10, you can pick up a free happy birthday, PSL pin while supplies last. Are you basic enough for this pin? And the Pumpkin Spice Whip? Do you have your autumn sweater, scarf and seasonal boyfriend ready? Well then, you know what to do.
What started out as a normal Saturday morning became the source of many terrifying nightmares in a split second. I never saw the deer that slammed through my windshield at 75 mph, but it changed my life forever. The trauma I endured that morning triggered a revolt in my body and the effects have turned my life upside down and inside out.
I have Felty’s Syndrome. You’ve never heard of it? Don’t worry, I hadn’t either. At least, not until I was lying in a hospital, hours from death receiving transfusion after transfusion. It is a rare type of rheumatoid arthritis (which is a lot different from arthritis). It is an autoimmune disease. My immune system has turned against me trying to destroy not only my joints, but my internal organs as well. My white blood cells are practically nonexistent as they become trapped in my spleen dying a quick, violent death.
Two months later I checked out of the hospital into a life that resembled nothing of what I’d had before. Right after the wreck I was extremely sore, couldn't raise my left arm or turn to look over my shoulder. It's pretty important for a rural mail carrier to be able to use her left arm considering I drove with it and delivered with the other. As time went on, even after acupuncture, physical therapy, numerous prescriptions, things went from bad to worse. One day I woke up and unable to put any weight on my right foot. The next day my right arm was so sore I couldn't lift it. It happened over and over, like a pinball game of pain never staying in one place for long, but always present somewhere in my body.
Over the months, the pain, swelling, and inflammation became unbearable. I couldn't eat, because I had ceased having bowel movements. It was around this time that my husband was laid off and we lost our health insurance. As a part-time carrier, I was not offered health insurance, but my treatments were being covered from my wreck. Unfortunately that only extended to my left arm and neck.
I heard over and over how it was all in my head and how I had to "fight this." But by this point, I was basically bedridden and it was getting worse every day. I worried about our financial future and what an uncovered illness could do to our family, especially as my daughter would be graduating in just a few months. I knew in my mind that I was dying so I made the trip to see my new grandson in Afghanistan and then went to see my brother one last time.
His wife who was a nurse, took one look and told my husband to get me to the ER immediately. They wore me down and I agreed, but only if we could go back home to Kentucky. We pulled out of Florida at 3 p.m. on a Sunday, drove all night, and arrived at the ER at 8 a.m. I told my husband they would probably send me away, but they didn't. Within 20 minutes I was being given transfusions and told how dire my situation really was. They put me in ICU and worked day and night to save me, and for that I'll always be thankful even if at that time I no longer cared.
After eight weeks, I had a new diagnosis but what I had feared had come true. We had lost everything but each other and we clung to one another adrift in a sea of fear and uncertainty. We had one chance, a job offer with excellent health insurance (after the first year) in a totally different state away from everything and everybody we knew. We sold everything but what we could fit in the back of our car, rented an apartment site unseen from the internet, and took off.
We struggled, as starting over is never easy, but we did it. Little by little we climbed up that big hill and while we're nowhere near the top, we aren't at the bottom either.
Since then I've divided my life into two parts. There's the “old me” who worked full time, raised kids, volunteered at school, had lots of friends and loved to through a good dinner party. And “the new me” who lives hundreds of miles from my only friends, who only leaves the house for short, necessary trips, never feeling my best, and who spends more time with my doctor than I do with my husband.
I call this new life the sanitized version: No germs, no pets, no flowers, no fun. My life is spent avoiding people and their germs so that I might be able to stay at home instead of the hospital. My friends? Well, I’ve never met most of them. You see, my only parties are now online from the safe confines of my sanitized life.
Even with all the ways that my life has morphed over the last few years, I know how lucky I am to be alive. I have a loving family, many hobbies, lots of online friends and being sick has shown me how much I really want to live. I’m thankful for every single day and that’s what makes my isolated life bearable. My life may not look like the picture it did six years ago, but it’s still a life that’s worth living.
Spray-painting furniture — instead of going the traditional paintbrush route — isn't as weird as it sounds, especially when you want to save time on an upcoming project. Spray-painting gets the job done really fast, often in under 10 minutes. And compared to regular paint, it dries quickly, and you won't be dealing with any telltale brushstroke marks.
Once you master the art of spray-painting, you can flip any object, and you can do so without breaking the bank. Thrift stores and garage sales are overflowing with well-made furniture with great lines that just needs a little TLC. In addition, some of your own older pieces can become favorites with a new coat of color. A can of paint and a paintbrush may seem like the way to go, but you'll end up with brushstrokes and likely be stuck doing multiple coats. Don't let spray paint intimidate you — it's easier to get a smooth finish than you think.
Stock up on all the supplies you need to ensure you can complete your job quickly without another trip to the store. You'll need a mask, sandpaper, primer, spray paint and a sealer, depending on the project. Don't be tempted to buy the cheap or generic brands of paint. Brand names like Krylon or Rust-Oleum may cost a buck or two more but it will be worth it in the end.
Much like other paint, spray paint has several different finish options, from flat to high gloss. Be sure to select the finish to fit your needs; for furniture, the higher the gloss, the easier it will be to clean. If it is a high-use piece, avoid flat paint — satin or gloss finishes work best for most projects. If you have a large project on your hands, do yourself a favor and invest in a spray paint handle — it can save your finger from aches and pains and make for a quicker job. They're only a few bucks at most hardware stores.
Step 2: Clean and prep
Be sure your furniture piece is clean and free of loose pieces or cracks. Tighten any loose screws and fix any structural issues so the piece is sturdy. For best results, sanding your furniture first is essential. Depending on the finish, you'll likely need a medium- to high-grit sandpaper. Sand the piece thoroughly, paying specific attention to any inconsistencies in the original finish or any rough areas. Always sand in the direction of the wood grain. If you're painting over a piece of furniture with a smooth glossy finish — like most pieces made of particle board or MDF — you'll need to get that finish off as best as you can. Once it is sanded, wipe it down with a damp cloth to remove all the dust from the piece.
You should only spray-paint in a well-ventilated area and always wear a mask. Ideally you will be outdoors, so pick a day when the weather is neither too cold nor too hot, as that may affect dry times and create a bubbly finish. In addition, avoid painting on a windy day. Not only will a lot of your paint blow off into the breeze, but you risk having particles of dust blow onto your wet project. Be sure to cover any surfaces that you don't want to get paint on, even if you don't think you're close enough for it to matter. Spray paint can travel.
Other than sanding, priming is the most important part of your project, and it can even help make up for a poor sanding job. It will ensure even coverage and help the paint stick. There are several varieties of spray paint primer available, including some tinted options that are perfect for projects where you're using a dark color like black or red. Using long, even strokes, cover your piece with primer. Don't spray over areas that don't seem to be covered, as it can lead to dripping. Wait until the first coat dries and then add another coat or touch up if necessary.
It's a good idea at this point to do another brief round of sanding to remove any bubbles or inconsistencies that appear during the priming process. Be sure your piece is completely dry before you move on to color.
Begin painting by using long, even strokes. Don't hold the paint too close to the piece or you may get rings or other marks of built-up paint. Much like the primer, don't try to cover it all with the first coat. A second coat is much better than drips that you'll have to sand off. Pay close attention to corners, arms, legs or ornate details, as that's where you are likely to get drips. It may look stripy initially, but those will be covered as you add more paint.
The best thing about spray paint compared to regular paint is that it takes less than 10 minutes to dry between coats, making for a quick job. Darker colors may require more coats than lighter colors. Let each coat dry completely, then assess if you want to add another.
Step 6: Seal it
Not all projects need to be sealed, but if you're spray-painting a high-use piece of furniture like a dining room table, a coat of polyacrylic will keep your furniture looking nice longer. Other projects may include desktops, armchairs and even coffee tables. Feel free to seal any project — it won't hurt it, it's just one more step.
Some other tips
If you make a mistake or have dripping or bubbling, don't panic; you can correct just about any error with another sanding job. Yes, it does take more time and work, but your piece won't be ruined. If you find your paint isn't sticking even after sanding and priming (this is rare) try another coat of primer and sand afterward before applying paint again. Spray paint doesn't work as well on some materials like plastic and some metals, so read the label carefully to be sure the paint will work for your project.
Originally published March 2012. Updated September 2016.
They've had a huge week full of amazing things to celebrate. On Tuesday, they announced that they're launching a joint tour for the first time since 2007. On Wednesday, they received stars right next to each other on Nashville's Music City Walk of Fame. Today, they're celebrating their 20th wedding anniversary.
So what does the world's cutest couple do to celebrate 20 years together?
"OK, I will tell you," Hill said when asked at their Walk of Fame ceremony. "We are going to be in sweats on the couch watching some TV show we gotta find."
"We’re gonna binge-watch something," McGraw added. "And I’ve made a request, but I don’t know if I’m gonna get away with it or not — I want cornbread and peas."
Hill had a quick response to his request.
"That would be me cooking cornbread and peas," she said, and paused. "We’ll see."
Deciding to "go vegan" for the first time can be daunting — especially as you get into the nitty-gitty of what vegans can and can't eat. Still, restricting all animal products is a solid and beneficial choice for many, often made for ethical or health reasons, as long as you really understand what's going into your food. All it takes is a look at those food labels.
As you may have gathered, veganism means abstaining from more than just meat products. It means not consuming any food (or using products) that were produced in any way that may have exploited animals. That means there could be hidden non-vegan ingredients lurking in your pantry.
1. Some sugar
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White sugar gets its color from a refining process that often involves the use of bone char, meaning even though it's not directly an animal product, it's not vegan. But don't opt for brown sugar, powdered sugar or even raw sugar. All of them are made from refined white sugar. Some sugar manufacturers are certified vegan, so check the company's website or PETA to find out. Or just opt instead for maple syrup or agave nectar as a sweetener.
2. Jell-O, marshmallows, gummy bears, etc.
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These sweet treats are typically made with gelatin, which is made from collagen that comes from animal byproducts. You should avoid any product made with gelatin. That said, a quick internet search will reveal vegan versions of these and many other gelatin-containing foods. If you're making something from scratch, try substituting an equal amount of agar-agar.
While we're on the subject of sweets, be careful of candies in general. That shiny coating comes from a resin excreted by a bug (the lac bug). Of course, "lac bug juice" would gross out even non-vegans, so they usually just call it "confectioner's glaze."
4. Red foods
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How 'bout them fake red apple candies? There's nothing wrong with the red things Mother Nature makes, but most red candies and a lot of red foods in general get their color from red pigments from a female cochineal insect. On the label, it will say "cochineal," "carminic acid" or "carmine."
5. Soy cheese
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That can't be true, right? Actually, it can. We can't explain the decision of some manufacturers to add casein (milk protein) to a product most likely to be purchased by vegans, but it happens. Check the label before you buy.
Worcestershire sauce, in addition to many others, contains anchovy. The same is true of many salad dressings, like Caesar. And it goes without saying that cream-based dressings should be avoided unless they're specifically vegan. These are just the obvious ones, though. There are so many flavors out there, you should always check the label and know what every single ingredient is.
7. Peanuts
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Unless you crack the nuts yourself, skip the packaged, shelled peanuts. Some brands may use gelatin as an additive.
Many chips, especially barbecue flavor, contain chicken fat.
9. Cake mix
Image: Robert Rowe/EyeEm/Getty Images
You may think cake mixes are vegan because they just contain the dry ingredients and you add the fat and eggs, which you can substitute for vegan options, but this may not be so. They may contain sugar (which, as we already mentioned, could be an issue), milk products and even lard!
You can buy vegan refried beans, and many restaurants use them as well, but traditional refried beans are made with lard.
11. Margarine
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Though many margarines are made with vegetable oil rather than dairy products, they may also contain gelatin, casein (milk protein), whey or gelatin.
12. Orange juice
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That's right! Even things that seem like they should come from Mother Earth could actually be hiding a dark secret. Some OJs are fortified with additional omega-3s that are derived from fish.
Many breweries and wineries use a membrane that comes from the bladders of tropical fish to filter their beverages. So before you make a purchase, check the internet to ensure that brand is vegan.
What's a girl to do?
Checking the labels is a great start, but many non-vegan additions may have surprisingly misleading names. If there's an ingredient you don't recognize, look it up to find out how it's made. It should be free of animal products but also free of anything a vegan might consider an exploitative product, like milk or honey. If worse comes to worst, send the recipe you plan to use to your vegan friend. They have a lot more experience!
2016 has been a year of social issue shake-ups, where women want equal pay and opportunity in the workforce, where #OscarsSoWhite and #BlackLivesMatter resonate from Hollywood to the presidential election and where social media inspires discussion and change. With such an undercurrent brewing, it really was the perfect time for Days of Our Lives to bring a legacy character back into the fold.
On Tuesday it was announced by Deadline.com that Vanessa Williams would be joining the DOOL cast as Dr. Valerie Grant, a cardiologist who returns to Salem to visit her old friend and former lover, Abe Carver (James Reynolds). This announcement was met with applause from longtime soap fans because this role was groundbreaking when the character was introduced in the 1970s.
Originally played by Tina Andrews, Valerie was involved in daytime television’s first interracial couple. That storyline proved to be so controversial at the time that the writers backed off the intended marriage plot.
Instead they had her fiancé, David Banning, engage in an affair with another character. An excerpt from a 1977 Los Angeles Times article explained that racism and negative fan mail came into play with the script.
"They're breaking us up because the storyline is unpopular," said actor Richard Guthrie (David) to the LA Times. "The studio has been getting a lot of hate mail from people threatening to stop watching the show."
While the network repeatedly said the couple’s breakup was planned from the beginning, the interracial storyline was problematic from the get-go. Andrews' and Guthrie’s characters initially weren’t allowed to touch or kiss.
“The problem is that Valerie is black. Well, so is Tina Andrews, black all the time, on screen and off,” said Andrews in the same LA Times interview. “When you say David can’t kiss Valerie because she’s black, you’re saying Richard can’t kiss Tina for the same reason. That’s an insult to everyone concerned.”
This rewritten storyline not only cost Andrews her job in 1977, but it also cost her TV parents, Ketty Lester and Lawrence Cook, their jobs as well.
It’s hard to imagine an interracial relationship being an issue on TV in 2016, but remember, we are still fighting injustices when it comes to sexual identity, race and gender in real life and in the entertainment industry. By bringing back this character, DOOL has a huge opportunity to showcase a smart, beautiful black woman with a strong storyline.
Williams' first appearance on the NBC soap will be on Oct. 25. According to show spoilers, Valerie will be rekindling her romance with Abe Carver, but let’s hope we see more dimensions to a character whose full potential hasn’t been seen yet by DOOL viewers.
National Poetry Day: Poems for the expecting family
National Poetry Day: Poems for the expecting family
“Expecting” by Kevin Young captures the terror and then the goofy excitement of a father hearing his baby’s heartbeat for the first time during a doctor’s appointment.
2. For the family with a newborn
National Poetry Day: Poems for the newborn
National Poetry Day: Poems for the newborn
“Bathing the Newborn” by Sharon Olds records with painstaking care every detail of giving a new baby a bath. Perhaps because, as she mentions, it’s her second child, she is able to observe the details of the experience.
3. For the parents of a kid who has started getting out of bed on his own
National Poetry Day: Poems for Parents getting up
National Poetry Day: Poems for Parents getting up
“After Making Love We Hear Footsteps” by Galway Kinnell is a sweet ode to parents whose attempts at lovemaking are thwarted by the very fruits of their loins.
4. For the parents whose kid has started totally taking them for granted
National Poetry Day: Poems for Parents who are taken ad
National Poetry Day: Poems for Parents who are taken ad
“Those Winter Sundays” by Robert Hayden may perhaps give you solace that your ungrateful kids may grow up to appreciate everything you do someday. Probably after they have kids of their own.
5. For parents of teens
National Poetry Day: Poems for Parents of teens
National Poetry Day: Poems for Parents of teens
“This Be the Verse” by Philip Larkin (NSFW) is a pessimistic but funny take on how parenthood is just one big cycle of parents messing up their kids. Show this to your teenager who swears you’re ruining her life (maybe she’ll think you’re cool for having her see something with a swear word in it) or just read it for comfort while you try to figure out where you went wrong.
National Poetry Day: Poems for soon to be empty nesters
National Poetry Day: Poems for soon to be empty nesters
“On Children” by Khalil Gibran is the perfect poem to read when you’re sending your children out into the world and need to remember that you can only do so much.
With so much focus in recent years on the exceptional attributes that make each of our children "special," it has become a lot more difficult to determine which children actually qualify for gifted and talented programs at school. The name gifted and talented itself implies everything and nothing at all — are parents to assume an accelerated program caters to the child whose vocabulary is off the charts, but who doesn't really seem like a numbers kind of kid? Is it enough to be ridiculously good at playing violin or solving math problems? And, if you've noticed your child is bored to tears in class, why not forego the program altogether and find out how your kid can just skip a year?
Gifted and talented programs can differ in each state and even from district to district, so it's important that you research the specific program in your district. But if you've always been curious about G&T and aren't sure what to make of it, rest assured, it's just as complex as you suspected. And having a child with a brilliant mind doesn't automatically mean he or she will qualify for gifted and talented placement.
"The majority of children are tested at ages 4 or 5 for kindergarten entry," says Alina Adams, author of Getting Into NYC Kindergarten and Getting Into NYC High School. "Even though you can have your child tested in later years, there are not enough seats to accommodate all the children who qualify at the main kindergarten entry point, which means there is not likely to be available room in subsequent grades (though it does happen periodically). In New York City, there are two kinds of public G&T programs. Accelerated programs, which teach the standard curriculum one year in advance, and district programs, which use the exact same curriculum as the general ed students, but it is 'enriched.'"
Without a specific G&T curriculum, the definition of "enriched" is left to an individual teacher's discretion — a blessing if your child is placed with a knowledgeable and talented educator, though sometimes, a child in a district G&T program with a mediocre teacher may actually be getting less than a child in a general ed program with a spectacular one, Adams says. To qualify for G&T in NYC, children have to score above the 97th percentile on an IQ test — and even that isn't always enough.
"Annually over 1,000 kids meet that threshold, with only about 300 seats available, so it goes to lottery," Adams says. "Kids need to score above the 90th percentile to qualify for a district program, but again, so many more thousands of children qualify than there are seats, that it's unlikely those who score below the 95th percentile will end up with a seat in a G&T program."
If you're wondering what exactly constitutes a "gift" or "talent," Adams says the tests look at a child's verbal skills, how much detail they put into answering questions and the breadth of their vocabulary, as well as verbal reasoning and analogies. As far as non-spatial skills go, they'll be tested on their ability to identify patterns, supply missing pieces of puzzles and recreate sequences with building blocks.
"Though a child may score off the charts in one area and do merely average in another, it's the combined score that gets turned into a percentile, so a child outstanding in one area may not qualify as gifted enough for NYC schools," Adams says. "The funniest part is that since different schools use different tests, your child could be gifted in one school system, but not in another!"
Maybe you've long suspected your child is gifted — now what? How can you honor their abilities at home in a way that will translate to academic success? Kevin McCormack, principal of Xaverian High School in Brooklyn, says well-rounded children with parental support will do best in his school's gifted and talented Genesis middle school program.
"We are looking for kids who are articulate, social, bright, quick-witted, confident and curious," McCormack says. "We are looking for families that will support this type of child. We are not looking for introverted 'brainiacs.' We also realize there is no kid who hits all these points very well at the age of 10."
If you want to nurture your child’s gifts, McCormack’s best advice is to find what your kids get a kick out of and give them every opportunity to "wallow" in those fields. "I also would avoid specializing so early in their career,” he says. “Malcolm Gladwell has a piece on the 10,000-hour rule. The idea being if one looks at the ‘geniuses’ — Gates, Jobs, Clapton, the Beatles, etc. — they’re phenoms because they have talent and practice."
Having your children tested is the best way to find out if they qualify for a gifted and talented program, but Varda Meyers Epstein, contributing editor at the Kars4Kids education blog, says there are less obvious signs of giftedness that parents should be made aware of.
Easily distracted from topics and tasks
Impatient when not called on to answer questions
Often bored
A tendency to disrupt the classroom
Dislikes repetition and memorization
Finishes work quickly, but is sloppy
Tries to get out of doing classroom activities aside from those they find interesting
Leaves projects incomplete
Bites off more than they can chew, and then shows signs of stress
Mouths off to authority figures
Overreacts to criticism
Finds teamwork difficult
May overlook practical details, such as correct spelling
But that doesn't mean we're going to stop calling them out on their unacceptable, bigoted ways.
Their latest transphobic act was a little sneakier than usual — they buried a little dig at LGBT kids at the end of a blog post on their family website.
The blog was about things Jim Bob and Michelle pray over for all their 19 kids — things like their desire for their kids to be "morally pure," to have "the heart of a servant," to "trust God with their parents and not allow rebellion to set in." Then, at the bottom of the list, they pray "that our boys would be glad to be boys and our girls glad to be girls."
So they're basically asking for holy intervention to prevent any of their kids from being transgender, as if that's the worst thing that could happen to their family. Ugh.
There are plenty of other instances of the Duggars being openly transphobic, though, so this isn't an isolated incident. The most extreme example has to be when Michelle Duggar recorded a robocall that went out to voters in Arkansas comparing trans women to child molesters. That one was especially ironic, since her eldest son, Josh Duggar, was outed as a child molester soon after.
While every child should be who he or she truly is inside, I can't help but hope that Jim Bob and Michelle's prayers are answered, because being a gay or trans child in that bigoted family would be a kind of hell no child should have to endure.
When you look as incredible as Heidi Klum does, you can go as just about anything for Halloween — Jessica Rabbit, a psychedelic butterfly or even a grandma — except this year we're not really sure what she's meant to be.
Klum is pretty passionate about her Halloween costumes, and every year she throws a star-studded party to celebrate. And this year she decided to start the guessing game early by taking to Instagram to post a photo of herself, giving us a glimpse of what she'll be wearing on Oct. 31. She captioned the photo — which shows her wearing a white and metallic striped dress and thigh-high boots — with, "First fitting for Halloween ..... Hmmmmmm....... what am I going to be this year? Can you guess!?!?!?!?!?!"
Heidi Klum Instagram
Heidi Klum Instagram
And we do have some thoughts.
1. Freedom fighter: Klum could be a modern interpretation of a freedom fighter from Tron (all the metallics really make us feel like she's going for a futuristic look).
2. Superheroine: We're also pretty convinced that Klum is channeling her inner superhero this year, and she's going to be one of Marvel's leading ladies.
3. Robot girl: She'd make a pretty great robot girl with this costume (all she needs is some silver body paint to transform her skin).
4. Modern skeleton: We're wondering if Klum intends to use those panels to pull off a modern, high-fashion take on the classic skeleton costume.
5. Kim Kardashian West: Or maybe she'll be imitating Kim Kardashian West — because we all know this outfit would be right at home in Kardashian West's wardrobe.
Fans have also shared their suggestions on what they think Klum is meant to be this year, and a lot of people have commented on the post with "Kim Kardashian." Other suggestions include, "mummy," "White Walker," "David Bowie" and even Star Wars' leading lady, Rey.
One thing we do know is that Klum has been planning this costume for quite some time: About a month ago she took to Instagram to share a video of herself sitting for a plaster mold.
Heidi Klum Instagram 2
Heidi Klum Instagram 2
Whatever Klum decides to be for Halloween, we have no doubt we'll be impressed, because she really does go all out. In fact, last year, when she transformed into Jessica Rabbit, it took her a full 10 hours to do so — that's some serious dedication.
What do you think Heidi Klum is going to be for Halloween this year? Share your thoughts in the comments below.
Instead of remembering that most of us only want what's best for our kids, some parents assume that differences over everything from discipline to feeding philosophies are deal-breakers when it comes to parental friendships.
When a mom named "K.E." wrote to advice expert Philip Galanes at The New York Times' Social Q's column, her dilemma read just like one a lot of parents have experienced at some point.
K.E. has a good mom friend who she has known for 20 years. They have children one year apart, but unfortunately, her BFF's 5-year-old daughter "taunts" her 4-year-old son to the point of tears. Because her friend doesn't discipline her daughter, K.E. says she is put in the awkward position of telling the girl to stop being a meanie. All was manageable until it came time for K.E. to plan her son's birthday party — naturally, she doesn't want to invite a child who is going to torture her son, but how is she supposed to explain her position to her friend?
The mama bear in many of us might react with a good, old-fashioned, "screw that, leave her off the invitation list." After all, our child's emotional health takes priority over hurting a friend's feelings over a birthday party. Perhaps we've been burying our disapproval of our friend's parenting style all along and now is the ideal time to passive-aggressively express that by putting all of our angry eggs in the birthday party basket.
Galanes advice? If the friend in question is a mere acquaintance, then by all means explain to her that your child wants to have a small birthday party this year. Since this isn't the case for K.E., and since it isn't easy to recreate the bond you have with a friend you've known for two decades, he instead suggests she do something a lot of us have forgotten how to do: Speak to the other parent like a reasonable adult about both kids, not just the "bad" kid.
We throw the word "shaming" around so much that we assume other adults are automatically going to feel offended if we tell them our concerns about our children. The conversation shouldn't revolve around the fact that we feel our friends should parent just like us — humility and tact are key when suggesting a friend's child isn't being the nicest. We can instead remind our friend how much she and her child mean to us and how we can work together to help our children get along better and not just change the behavior of one child.
The more we approach parenthood as a team sport that we engage in for the benefit of all of our kids and a better future planet, the less likely we are to get hung up on silly parenting trends and trying to prove one style is better than the other. As long as the outcome is the same — raising little people who respect each other and themselves — what difference does it make if you're a helicopter parent and your friend is permissive?
When you've got little ones at home, you could always use a laugh — which is exactly why we rounded up the funniest tweets from parents this week. From superhuman 5-year-old strength to the horrors of running out of rosé, there's no way you won't be LOLing at these hilarious takes on parenthood from some of Twitter's funniest parents.
